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Organise Have a written plan Break it down into doable chunks Brain dump into bite sized portions In detail Schedule a day and time For each task Five minutes matters Get organised Take everything out one thing at a time eg a drawer Complete the cycle Finish each project
I am a VISUAL Learner . . . That's WHY I WATCH Videos . . however, as much as I Love Cas , her 5-second-flash of each step is NOT Enough for me ! Therefore, I truly appreciate Your Written (Typed ) LIST of EACH STEP !.. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a Screenshot of it and PRINT IT OUT.. that way I can : Put it in an 8" x 10" Acrylic Photo Frame . Start by Standing it on My NIGHTSTAND ( read it first thing in the morning ; Last thing I read before bed ) ; Start with Decluttering/Organizing both Inside & Surface of Nightstand ( Satisfying & Motivating ! ) .. Carry "The List" to Each Room/Area ! Also, I can slip my Brain Dump into the back of Photo Frame ; as well as my Detailed Decluttering Plan for Each Room/ Section ( plus my REWARD [ ie : ☕ 🌹 📖 🛁 ] for Completing Each big 'Chunk' of my Goals ! Perhaps a Mini-Vision Board w/ Photos / Sketches to Keep My Goal in Mind : 🛋️ 🌹 🖼️ 🪑 🪟 🍃 . Another thought . . . I might try using " Write On,Wipe Off Markers" to Check ✅ Off Each Step / Task, as I Complete it . When I'm all Done, I can just Wipe It Off and it's ready for the Next Room ! Happy New Year !
My health has been absolute crap for a few years. I've been trying this Five Minutes way of getting things done. That's about all the time I have energy for. I rarely get things 100% done, but with each Five Minutes I get closer to being done until eventually, the job IS DONE!! I feel like I can do positive things in my home and life again. This has been a tremendous help to bringing joy back to my life. It does take a while, and sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards, but as I keep doing Five Minutes, I start seeing improvement. Thank you, Cas. You have been THE inspiration to me. My husband (who works two full time jobs so doesn't have time to do much around the house, but still does most of the house work that gets done) also thanks you. He is no longer feeling that everything is dumped on him to do. ❤️🥰
On the topic of the perfectionist having trouble starting until they have the perfect solution to the mess... one tip that has helped me in this area is telling myself, "I can always make a change." This helps me to get going and use whatever bin or organizational items I pick now, knowing if I don't like them later because of how they work, or look... or I see something on pinterest or at a friend's that I like more...I can change what I have & make it better at any time. This helps me to just get going& make perfectionist changes to it later.
@truebluestables, decluttering and organizing is a long term, life long process! Key for perfectionist to settle for “good enough” is to schedule 25 min a day (and must STOP after 25 min or you get burn out) working on a FIRST DRAFT of each area, and next day you MUST pick a DIFFERENT area than you have already worked on.
When my two boys turned 15-16…we hired someone else to teach them and believe me when I say that was the best WIN-WIN decision for all of us especially the boys. There was zero pressure on all of us. DO IT! You won’t regret it. Raising a teenager is hard enough without having to teach them to drive. 😊
Same here! Find a good driving school and they'll teach her everything she needs to know to be safe, and to pass the road test. Best best best money you will every spend! Three seconds at the stop sign = tap your finger three times on the steering wheel before you move forward. Just so many little tips and tricks I would never ever think of! Then they'll re-teach you how to drive when they're in the car with you! lol
Agreed! And in Ontario, they will get a discount on their car insurance (or you will when you add them as an occasional driver) for doing a ministry-approved driver’s ed program. They can also get their G2 at 8 mos instead of 12, meaning they will be able to drive on their own sooner. You can also pay for a one hour refresher class before doing the road test for the G2 and/or full G license, to ensure they know all the tips and tricks to pass with flying colours the first time!
I hired someone to teach my son to drive as well. It was the best decision for my sanity. Unfortunately he isn't that great of a driver to this day. He has had quite a few accidents. 😔 Maybe he would have been better off if I taught him. I don't know. But for my sanity, it was the best decision.
We did a combo of driving instructions; both her dad and I (very different styles) and then she took a professional course. The course taught her a lot and even administered the final test. Just remember getting a license and gaining experience are two very different things. We are never Done learning 😉
Hey Cass. Getting a drivers license in Canada is hard. Waaaay more difficult than it was when we took our tests. Our mistake was not realizing that so we taught our son all our bad habits. Then he kept failing the driving test. It wasn't until we got smart and put him in driving lessons that he finally passed. It was hard on him to keep failing and hard on us to watch him fail. Enroll your daughter in a good driving school. Then you need to review the rules so you teach her the right way. I wish I'd known that from the start. It would have saved a ton of stress.. good luck!!
What a practical and motivating video. After watching this video I realized , I am also messy because I am looking for perfection .but it has ended me feeling frustrating . The more I want to organize ,the messier my place is . Thank you so much ClutterBug for inspiring people like me .
I love this videos. I have ADHD and my house is a cluttered mess no matter what I do. Watching this video gave me chills. I can't wait to get started! Thank you for taking the time to make lives easier. I can't wait to post again about my progress.
Great video, Cas! Key for us when our kids were learning to drive was to find a business park or industrial park with real roads, and go there on evenings and weekends when there's no traffic. You drive there, and then let her drive once you're there. So much less stressful than out in traffic right away! Good luck!👍🏻
My Mother taught me to drive in the cemetery! There was no traffic (lol) and low curbs so if I made a mistake I knew it but no car damage. She also told me if I wasn't careful this is where I would end up. Funny but true.
THIS! Our local zoo (and attached park) has almost everything you'd encounter in real traffic (including railroad crossings - for the mini train ride). After hours very little traffic and a couple of parking lots to practice smooth starts and stops - getting that 'easy foot' is hard!
We are currently doing the exact same thing with our son. Practising parking in an empty business lot, three point turns in wide driveways, reversing into those driveways. There is housing right next to the industrial area so he can venture in there…narrower winding roads, parked cars, and a young girl on a bike adds to challenge! These quieter areas have really helped his confidence.
I've taught my three & a few others to drive... my advice, if you're not confident/comfortable behind the wheel, let someone else teach her, so she becomes a good driver who knows the correct rules of the road~ people everywhere will thank you, & you & your daughter will enjoy road trips more once she's learned!!
I love your show. I’m a butterfly that sews, quilts, and machine embroiders. I also paints (acrylic, acrylic pouring, and now added watercolor , makes my own air dry clay, create fairy trees and houses, create pinecone wreaths. Because of you my sewing/art room is super organized. Everything is stored in see through plastic containers. All have labels. Yes I downsized mostly fabric and patterns but also dried up paint, ugly artwork, used sketchpads and half finished products.
After I realized I could not teach my daughter to drive and keep my sanity, I found her an excellent driving teacher. What a relief! She got her license on the second try, and now drives everywhere in her own car. What a huge blessing. Leave it to the experts!
This was very helpful - I am one of those perfectionists who can´t start and I appreciate the encouragement 🙂 Nothing happens if you don´t start the process.
Take a clue from a saying quilters use: Done is Better Than Perfect. 'Cause not being able to start is crippling you. Just dive in & accept imperfection in yourself, adopting Done is Better than Perfect & hopefully will get you out of your PARALYSIS.
My dad had us get in the car, get familiar/comfortable being in the driver seat. He then made us repeatedly drive forward and backwards a sort distance until we were use to the gas and how sensitive it was, practicing braking. It helped me alot, as once I got on the road, I was comfortable with the car itself. Congrats to your daughter and good luck!🙂
Thank you for these tips! They're just what I needed today! 😊 I am teaching my 4th child to drive, #5 is ready now, too! 1st step- have your child ficus on the center of the road, several car length ahead. Like bowling, or baseball and modeling on the cat walk, they're eyes will direct their hands! Focusing on the center of the lane will prevent "ping-ponging" from white line to yellow line! It will also keep them aware of all future activity ahead, such as cars entering the roadway, or squirrels darting into the road. If they are aware of their surroundings they can learn safer, quicker, and smoother responses! Also, warn against tailgating, and warn them not to depend on their brakes- in other words, start slowing down for stop light/signs, and slowing cars, sooner than later! If they see red lights ahead (traffic slowing for a red light) they should at least take their foot off the gas, giving you the idea that they are aware and preparing to slow down, easing your anxiety. It's the polite and responsible thing to do. Lol. Hope this helps!!
Also, you can do this! Breathe, and remember you raise your child, you can trust them! Talk to them calmly, teach rather than panic. You got this! Message me, call me, I'll talk you through it!!!
YES to teaching the importance of not tailgating!!! So many accidents--and deaths--could be prevented if people followed this one simple rule. It also helps reduce traffic jams, which is just good citizenship. ; - ) I would add never driving in anyone's blind spot, staying out of the far right merge lane unless you're merging, and always checking the bike lane and sidewalk just as diligently as any other lane of traffic. All of that said, I definitely think Driver's Ed is worth the investment! ; - D
I have taught 3 drivers and I’m about to start with #4! Start out easy- I let them drive on streets with low speed limits. We drive to church going 25 MPH, or down Grandma’s street to her house. We gain confidence together and tackle the freeway in a few months. Find some friends with golf carts or riding lawn mowers- that helps a bunch. Good luck!
I actually learned to drive as an adult. My husband taught me the basics in a parking lot and then I took driving lessons to learn how to drive on the road and highways. Highly recommend driving lessons! My husband is a pretty calm driver, but the instructor knew how to handle my specific driving anxiety even better.
Clutter Bug: I bought books, planners, storage items/found it didn't work. Yes, until, I added the butterfly method in specific areas in the home. Now, I'll set the timer to 5 minutes to help the cleaning. THANKS for your ideas ___________________________🖋🖊🖌🖍!
My goal is to get rid of everything that has no purpose in my home, and put everything else in a permanent place. I'm tackling drawers, bins, cabinets and filling boxes with stuff. The one place I will likely not do much decluttering (getting rid of stuff) however is my craft space. I do a lot of different types of crafting and a lot of that includes taking random stuff and making something from it. BUT I really really want to get it organized with like items, so I can find things. Thanks for the push!
Pay or get your hubby to do it. My daughter kicked me out of car-lesson duty, saying I made her so nervous that she was sure we’d crash. Driving school. Plus then you get a discount on her car insurance. Good luck! 😅😊🚙😃
Loved the video. I'm the perfectionist waiting for the perfect place to put something. So it will sit where it landed until I find that place. Driving school was the best money ever spent on my kids. The sanity it saved was worth every penny. :)
As someone with ADHD who's been slob my entire life, I promise you that these techniques work, folks. I recently had a maintenance man tell me that I was so organized. Me? Me. Wow. Knowing the styles of organizing and using those labels are the key for us. And knowing that they work makes them even easier to do. I tell myself if I don't need something and can buy another if I do, out it goes to the trash, recycle, or donate bag. Haha I flunked my driving test 2 times and should have flunked the 3rd time (which meant waiting a YEAR to take it again) but I burst into tears and the guy passed me out of pity. Oh and cemeteries. I've taught many people to drive, including driving stick, in cemeteries.
I also noticed that people with immaculate homes always put things away immediately after use, clean as they go and always do something every time they do something else. Example wipe the counter or appliances while they wait for water to boil for tea etc.
I love your five minute technique. I had heard it before and it does make a big difference. I am struggling with chronic pain and was getting very depressed and frustrated because there was so much I wanted to do in my house and I just didn't have the strength until I eventually decided to just do a few minutes at a time based on how much pain I could cope with and since then I have been making huge strides and feel so much better with the state of my house.
I taught all 3 of my kids to drive in an empty parking lot in our suburban. They got super comfortable constantly taking sharp turns to weave up and down the lot. Using their blinkers, looking both ways, etc. Taught them to park between the lines and today, they can drive and park a Motorhome if they needed to.
Hi Cas! Teaching my son to drive was absolutely terrifying! I felt like my foot was going to push through the floor on the passenger side as I pushed the imaginary brake! It gets better but whew it's hard to do! Even now he occasionally makes choices that scare me and he's been driving for two years! I found that driving the same familiar rural route several times in a row helps to build confidence. Practicing parking at the mall when it's closed is good. Our Subaru has a backup camera but our Explorer does not, so I made him drive both. We have a fairly long driveway so I made him back up the whole way multiple times. If he did something wrong when driving, I asked him to explain what it was rather than shouting at him like I secretly wanted to. He was less likely to make the same mistake twice that way. He's a better parallel parker than I am thankfully. We went to the driving testing center and practiced the course several times when they were closed. Deep breaths! Good luck!
I had to laugh when you were talking about teaching your daughter to drive. Your too cute but it true. Lol. I own a driving school and have taught thousands of kids the RIGHT, SAFE way to drive. Think of it as teaching someone to declutter and organize. One small task at a time. Breathe and start with the very basics. We we not born knowing how to naturally declutter and organize our insane lives and homes and if we do not step back and do it right, we will never achieve our goals and always be living in chaos. Same woth driving, if we just get through the mechanics, we eventually crash or are always in stress because of the near misses we were not expecting. Coach a new driver just like a client. One step at a time, breathe and start with the basics...declutter the stress by going into a parking lot and simply practicing smooth stops and starts until they are no longer an issue, then move on to a scarier task in small steps. This way they are not trying to process too much at once and can handle the next dangerous thing like being aware of the risks around them and not trying to focus on learning to stop smoothly because that task has been handled. I tell all my students to do their "stupid people checks" in their blind spots, by doing this they laugh and never forget to look. Keep it light and fun and they will have a better understanding of the bigger picture, which is to always be a safe driver and to be ready for anything and have the tools to handle each situation. Kind of like building up decluttering muscles. Also, us commentary driving, have your child tell you what they see. Ex. (I see that truck about to pull out, I am covering my brake just incase)(yes, I see that light changing to yellow, I am slowing down) this way you know their thought process and are not panicking thinking they may be missing important information and it helps put you both at ease. I know this was ling, sorry :) but I hope it helps. Rosemarie I hope this helps a little.
I watched one of your past videos that also emphasized the importance of completely decluttering for organization and it really helped me declutter for the new year. The way I would "declutter" in the past was to jam all my newly acquired junk in the closet, but this time around I finally pushed myself to throw things away. I've had enough of wading through random items daily so your vids really help, thanks!
YOU are so motivating!!! I can't wait to get into it now!! LOL you are so hilariously descriptive with your stories! I am not in your position yet, God bless us!! Honestly Cas i think with your driving experience .....just love hearing them and love you but maybe just ....maybe your should seriously consider driver's ed! Don't Pass on the stress! I think you'll be grateful you did!
When I began my decluttering journey in 2020, I called it All out August. I jotted on a notepad each room and what I wanted to declutter from that space. I was focusing on all my hidden clutter in my drawers, cupboards etc.. I only moved into the next area once I had ticked off everything in the area I was doing. I followed it with Spring clean September ( I’m in the Southern Hemisphere) and organize October. I have never achieved the success I have in my home as I did then and it changed my way of doing things completely. Seeing this video now, I can now see why it worked so well for me….I did your steps without even knowing that I was setting myself up for success. Everything you’ve said here is so true🙌🙌🙌
I love that idea: I'm now planning my Winter Makeover for various areas of my home. I do 5 minutes in each room (declutter/clean/organize) and a 1 hour better in a selected area. This idea of a seasonal focus will help me to be more focused and intentional. I get so many ideas that typically hit when I want to sleep.
I had the same problem with teaching my kids driving . My husband ended up teaching and helping both my kids to drive or hire someone. It only makes the kids feel stressed from your stress. I as you didn't want that. Love your channel.
Yess, I far preferred learning with my dad for this exact reason- my mom was too stressed! Until quite a while in, where she was able to say, "Blaire has lived this long with no accidents, maybe it'll be ok", and she lightened up a bit, hahaha. I still had to drive with her quite a lot to get the required day and night driving hours to actually upgrade my learner's permit to a license, since my dad was often busy working. She tried not to have visibly white knuckles since that was something that her own mom did when she was learning, at least, but she far preferred when we were in a vehicle where she could see my speedometer from the passenger seat, so she could peek over instead of anxiously asking every few seconds when I'm just going the speed limit. I definitely preferred that too... 😂
I am 41 and I still remember how anxious my mum was when trying to teach me to drive. I ended up being taught by my grandfather and driving lessons. Definitely driving lessons are worth it, and another family member or friend who has taught others to drive or is normally a relaxed driver. Helped a lot.
It is extremely satisfying to declutter and organize things. I have Multiple Sclerosis and one of the main side effects for me is chronic fatigue. I'm talking cannot lift my head off the pillow exhaustion. So, learning ways to organize, even at my almost empty nest stage of life, is important for me and my family. Keep teaching!
Cas, When my Mom taught me to Drive she took me to the Mall or a large empty parking lot like 5-6 am on Saturday and Sunday. She let me drive all over and get comfortable behind the wheel and she would sit in her lawn chair reading the paper, she also brought cones to practice stuff. Hope that gives you some help.
best tips EVER, that I got from these years watching you Cass: 1. If takes a minute or less.... do it now! 2. Touch it once Think about them all the time, every single day, and I´m being less messy, or more organized, hehe THANK YOU 4EVER
Driver’s Ed for sure! I stopped the video at the “just five minutes” part and cleaned out my travel container, which I had been procrastinating about! Yay! I got it done! Now for my closet! 😬👍
I invested in professional driving lessons. Best thing ever. Dual control car and a teacher who managed my anxiety in a lovely calm manner. Passed my practical first time because of her.
I agree. Someone taught me to drive when I was learning, and their vehicles have a break on their side of the vehicle for emergencies. Also, my dad wasn’t the best teacher and doesn’t have patience so it was nice to have someone else 😅
If you can afford it, a professional teacher is worth every penny. With the oldest kid, I was the nervous mom, it was not helpful. As the other kids took drivers Ed they reminded me of good driving practices, like head checking before changing lanes.
I've taught 2 of my kids to drive (as well as my best friend back in the day). My boys had the benefit of learning on our John Deere ride mower before they got behind the wheel. I feel like that made my job easier. We also paid for driving school. Having them practice on quiet roads on Sunday mornings is an idea. I'm much calmer than my husband when teaching them how to drive.
Yes, I was tasked with the drivers ed duties for my step-son and the best thing I ever did was to hire a divers ed teacher. It was great! He taught my step-son all the rules and got all the first time experiences out of the way which made it easier for me to just practice with my step-son instead of me having to do the teaching. I'm also a pretty calm and patient driver, which is why I had the drivers ed duties instead of my husband, but I would have her drive with which ever parent is the most calm in the beginning. It does make a difference in their driving performance. And again, definitly hire someone to do the bulk of the teaching!
Thanks for this video. I hadn't realized that my perfectionism was blocking me from completing my organizing tasks but once you said that it made so much sense to me! Teaching Driving: The best thing we did to take the stress from teaching our 5 kids to drive was spending 15 minutes in the driveway practicing "go" and "stop" maneuvers. We would give one of those directions and the kid would move their foot to the gas or break peddle. We did this until they felt confident in their muscle memory in finding the right peddle and we saw they could react quickly. This really kept the stress levels down for both the parent and the new driver when we got out on the road.
I have been watching you and a few other ladies ..I’m on a roll ..I have been purging my house ..1Room at a time ..donating plenty..today I organized part of my kitchen..so I need a box so I can take to the church
LOL- I had to have my husband teach the kids as my anxiety was too high. Also- we paid for them to have classes at a driver's school so they took them around and let them drive. SO worth it! After my kid started driving I became a nervous car rider - I'm still way more anxious when my husband drives than I was before that- basically it never went away and my kids are 28 and 24 lol.
Hi Cas. I absolutely love your channel, I've learned so much about decluttering and organizing from you. My home still seems like an overwhelming mess, but it's gotten so much better since I found your channel. Getting started is usually my biggest road block because of adhd, depression, and anxiety. But breaking it into small chunks and doing 5 minutes at a time gets me started. Plus, watching your videos while I organize helps a lot, too!
I was the same exact way with ALL 3 of my kids!!! I was a basket case so needless to say, it made them the same way. I had 9 years between my oldest and youngest and even time didn't help me do any better. By the time it came around to my last kid learning to drive, it was a given who was going to teach them...... Dad!! My husband had patience of gold when it csme to this, not so much for other things in life but for that, he did and I was so very grateful!!
I taught both of my older kids to drive. It's a very stressful time! Expect that there will be accidents. We had multiple parking lot incidents, a rear ending, and a totaled vehicle over the first few years. It was tough, and my nerves were indeed shot! But now one is a police officer and the other hasn't had an incident in years. Just remember that repetition is the best teacher. The more you say the same things over and over in a calm tone will shape their mental thoughts over time. Gentle reminders every time as they drive is helpful. Keep your distance, teach them how to check how many car lengths they are behind(1 second=1 car length from both passing the same stationary object, then maintain 1 car length distance for every 10mph), put on your turn signal, come slowly to a stop, you want to see the person's tires in front of you just hitting the ground over your hood, head check your blind spots, don't just rely on mirrors. Be sure to explain the why's to get their buy-in! Just remember that they feed off of your energy, so the more calm you are, the more calm they will be. My biggest helpful tip is also the most ridiculous one but it worked for me and it's still a good core memory for them! When my kids would stop too fast, I would overexageratedly and slowly lean foward and go WOOOOAAAHHHH like I was getting whiplash in slow motion! And they thought my ridiculousness was ridiculous but also funny but ultimately they still didn't want me to keep doing it, so they stopped doing it over time! Also, my kids had to go to driving school cause of state law and it was helpful but you still have to work with them as well. One last also, teaching her to drive will probably also make you a better driver as well! I have faith in you, good luck!!!
My mom was a lot like you on the teaching to drive reflexes( her freaking out in the car), it caused too much tension with my parents so I had others teach me friends at school that drove well, my cousin's boyfriend, my boyfriend's neighbor was kind enough with the patience to cover everything eventually and let me use his car to take the test in also. I will say multiple teaches helped me learn different types of vehicles, manual and automatic and how to drive with different personalities with me in the car. I think the variety helped over all. I know its not the norm but it was awesome for me.
Love your videos! Very helpful even for single people w/o kids. Re: driving: have another adult, not you if they're not able to hear this, explain to them that the goal of learning to drive isn't to get the DRIVER from point a to point b, but it's to learn how to be able to provide a safe, pleasant (non-carsick inducing) ride to the passengers, which is a huge responsibility and honor to drive others places. Starting and stopping slowly is the key to not making passengers carsick actually; the goal is to learn how to drive like a monorail -- smooth and effortless. Obviously there are certain situations, like merging, where flooring it matters, but the main quality of a good driver is to be in control and able to calibrate speed as needed. Good luck to y'all! Other tip: teach kids on stick shift, then they'll be great on automatic as well and able to drive in Europe/globally should they ever need. Underrated skill.;)
Thank you for all the great tips Cas!! Also, I’ve been teaching my daughter how to drive since Aug 2022. My best advice is to ask her to drive in a way that her passengers feel safe. Also, give her as much feedback as possible, but, also it’s important to give her complements, like when she was younger. At the end of the drive, ask her what she can improve. More importantly…. I suggest paying for practice in the highway/freeway. I plan on paying for those lessons as well. Good luck 🍀
I had the experience with my daughter first, and then my son. I paid for a driving school to teach my son…bought two times back to back, because he asked for more lessons. It was SO WORTH IT!!!
In many places in the US, you can sign up for driving lessons through the school. Luckily my daughter's school offered it! Also, love that blue sweater on you!
@@Mysticsoul77 iirc, the driving hours can be with any adult over... 21? 18? one of those, with a valid drivers license themselves. Aunt Sally got balls of steel and a knack for gentle guidance? Hey, you should spend more time with her! 😂 My dad was often too busy working to go out with me, but whenever he wasn't, or we were going on family trips trying to get my driving hours up (you need a certain amount of both day driving and night driving hours), I would ask him if he would go with me instead of mom (or if they were both going, order mom to the back seat- I was told the driver has final say in anything happening in the car, was brought up to respect that, and made full use of it!). My mom was a grab-bar-clutcher and her stress showed in her voice whenever she questioned my (perfectly fine) speed which she couldn't quite see in that vehicle from the passenger seat, much less if she had any concerns or corrections, all of which my dad was able to do in a very casual sounding manner which was far more helpful and less stressful.
Using random cardboard boxes for storing items 1st has helped me control my bin and basket buying. So I have a place to put the items while organizing. It's alot of fun when you know the dimensions of the basket you're looking for, and having "permission," from yourself to buy it is great.
Hello, I have really enjoyed watching your videos lately. They have been very inspiring and enjoyable to watch. I especially loved the sewing room renovation you did for Marge. As a sewing enthusiast myself, I would love to have a space like that! This video gave some really good tips that will definitely help me. Thank you for all you do to help all of us! I am very sorry for the very long message, but I have a situation that is difficult for me to deal with and I am hoping someone can help me. I generally tend to be a positive, proactive person. However, when it comes to organizing at this stage of my life, I have many obstacles in my way (pun intended). A few of them are as follows: First, I agree with what I have seen in many of your videos, that if you are going to do a complete clean and declutter you have to remove everything from that room, clean it, sort things, then put the things back into it in an organized fashion. I don't like to take things (like clean laundry) and place them into dusty, furniture or into another cluttered portion of the room. However, my husband won't allow me to do it that way. He wants me to take a drawer at a time, a crate at a time, etc.. Is there any way that I can convince him to let me do it the way it would be most helpful for me? Or is it possible to do it this way and that there something I am missing? Second, we moved into a building that was filled with things when we got there. Then we brought our own things, as well as things people have donated that we haven't had time to sort yet (we are a ministry). I am so overwhelmed that I take a look around and I just can't deal with it. All of the organizing videos I have ever seen say, “use a bag or a box for donations”, but there is no space for the box or bag to go! There is very little room for walking without tripping over things. How can I declutter in this situation? Third, I am sure you get this a lot, but my husband, my mother (who lives with us) and I are all different organizing types. I tend to be a cricket, my mom (who helps us with the ministry) is a bee, and my husband is a ladybug/butterfly. I know I am supposed to defer to their type of organizing, but can you spare some concrete tips that I can use to help us to organize what we do decide to keep someday (once we miraculously declutter) that will help me to keep my sanity, and avoid WW3 because we can't agree on how to do things? Fourth, we are on a very limited budget, and cannot afford the shelving units and bins that bees and butterflies need to keep things visual. We are also very tight on time. We spend a lot of our time with homestead chores and getting ready for the services on the weekends, so we can't make our own shelving units as we would like. Are there any tips for what we can do to improvise? I am so overwhelmed and discouraged, that I don't know what to do. Please help! Thanks so much for any help you can give Many blessings to you.
We moved into a new house the end of October and I’m still unpacking. I do my best to make a daily plan but haven’t done a big picture plan. I have my spiral and pen to brain dump and get started on my overall plan then I can break it down into daily tasks. I’m hosting our family on January 7, and I need to have things done. Thank you for helping me focus and be successful!
yield to the person on your right when coming to the stop sign at the same time. Also tell her on a right hand turn at a red light the law is to come to a complete stop, and yield to traffic, and only turn when traffic is clear. I took my daughter to a back country road with a fairly straight road where she could practice without traffic and get a feel and control of the car. Thanks for the refresher video. I for one still need the help!
Just remembering back in my high school days when we actually had drivers Ed as a class.. and our d/e car was a brand new Trans Am.. Those were the days 😄 (I think they got the Trans Am so we'd want to take the class lol)
Even after years of watching your TH-cam channel, I find this is the most concise explanation I have seen of the organizing steps that will pay off in the end. Thank you!
While we didn't schedule organizing this way, my husband's calendar did show where we were going and what we were doing. We called it "getting on the square". You think this is restrictive, but it actually frees up your day. Once we had 2 Boy Scout events and my daughter's birthday on the same day! And everything fell into place. Now I have to teach this to my son-in-law. He is starting to get better.
Get some window chalk and let others know you have a driver in training! It’s amazing how much more courteous other drivers become. Also: I took both of my kids to a local cemetery to practice. They have roads, stop signs, minimal traffic…can’t hurt a thing! Good luck!
The really nice thing about the cemetery is it usually has a pretty low speed restriction, so your novice driver can start out as slowly as he wants, without worrying about backing up traffic (or scaring his mom to death! 😁).
I've taught a few younger friends of mine and now my daughter also how to drive. Thing I like to do first is start with the absolute basics of using the car. All the instruments and get them comfortable even sitting behind the wheel. Then go somewhere isolated if you can, if not an empty car park after/before the shops open/shut and just get them to drive around it. Pretend there are traffic lights etc, other cars, giving way, and they can get used to using the accelerator/breaks calmly so its not all jerky or too heavy on the pedals. Then once they are a pro at driving around, go out on to a quiet street so they can practice with other actual cars. Save the busy streets until they are really confident and have quite a few hours under their belts. My biggest tip though, is to be calm.. Panic on the inside but stay calm on the outside lol. As hard as that sounds. The last thing they need is the person teaching them to be a panicked mess. Then everyone is just anxious and they wont learn effectively. Hope some of that helped :)
Here in Ireland you have to have 12 lessons from a professional instructor. But in between the lessons I went with my daughter for practice. I'm a terrible passenger at the best of times (even though I'm a confident driver myself) but I was very nervous and I was always glad to be back from our journey! I even went to get out of the car to berate someone who beeped at her for no reason 😂. She passed first time thank goodness ... Now I just worry every time she goes driving by herself. You don't think of this when you're having a baby!
My daughter has a car fund and researched that 15 year olds who take drivers Ed can get their permit as soon as they demonstrate they’ve started the class and can pass the test. She paid for it! She was 15 and one month when she started with her permit and she couldn’t get her license in our state until she was 16 and 3 months so she had 14 months to practice and it was astonishing how much better she was just after the first one on one one-hour driving class with the instructor and besides something like 30 hours of study and tests, it included 6 hours with the instructor and the final driving test passing with the BMV…I recommend every parent find a way to do this for your child…find a reputable and well-referred school and it’s a real blessing!!
I recommend professional driver training, for many reasons. My issue right now is that I really need a dedicated home office, instead of using the built-in desk in my kitchen. The process has to begin elsewhere in the house to create a domino effect: Declutter and organize my storage room, move things there from the space I want to make an office, then move all my office stuff out of the kitchen. Which is why it hasn't gotten done yet.
I have been teaching three teens to drive in recent months. I found it helped me a lot when I joined a volunteer driving mentor programme and received training on how to be a driving mentor (not an official instructor but someone who helps the teens get the practice they need). We did a road code refresher as part of the training and I was amazed how much had changed or that I had forgotten in twenty years of driving. We also had a one hour session with a driving instructor who took us around the test route and gave us tips on teaching driving. If you do pay for your daughter to have lessons but can’t afford it full time then it could help to sit in on the driving lesson and take notes
Apparently in our area to take the road test there were 2 instructors available, but you do not get to choose which one is in the car judging you for that test. One was a big guy who seemed to fail EVERYONE, EVERY TIME, and the other a skinny guy who would still fail you if you really deserved it but wouldn't for example take obnoxious amounts of points off for open-ended theoretical questions mid-drive, thus had a much higher pass rate. I actually couldn't remember which instructor at the time was the seemingly impossible one, so I was a bundle of nerves when I met him, and fumbled pretty bad on "what do you do if you're about to hit a deer" and I knew the answer was technically "slow down as much as possible and try to aim for something softer than the deer (ie not a tree or oncoming traffic)" but I think he specifically asked me "what do you try to hit instead of the deer" and my brain just bluescreened, like, there were no specific options and he didn't say to pick something on the side of the road we were on, so I just kind of went "????idk a deer is better than a tree tho????" (the answer he was looking for was an open area or bushes, apparently... I'm pretty sure the harsher instructor would have taken points off for that). Passed in one take, my cousin who got the big guy twice had to take it a third time to get the same person I had and finally pass, which ended up being pretty expensive- $45 each attempt. To do something he had been doing for years, except in a car (we lived on a farm, I think he started driving farm equipment including huge tractors at age 6, and on roads at 11-14ish, perfectly legal in our area). The guy who failed him also didn't tell him why iirc, so there was nothing he could have practically done to "improve" before his first retest. Everyone who had the big guy had issues, not just him! In hindsight with that low of a pass rate he probably should have been complained about and fired/retrained, but he was making the place money, so /shrug.
I was lucky and got out of teaching my 2 sons to drive. However my luck did don’t hold out. My daughter, the late in life baby, didn’t want to drive until after high school. I learned you can teach old dogs (me) new tricks. I started out by driving her to a sport complex near us where there was lots of empty parking spaces. There she got the hang of the accelerator and the brakes. We drove around, parked, backed up, etc. Then we headed out on the road. She was still nervous so I drove her to back country roads and we practiced on those. Basically it was baby steps. But she is a successful driver now. Meditation, deep breaths and trying to remember how awkward driving feels when it was new to you will help. But mostly remember that this is an opportunity to have one on one time with your child. It’s something you both will remember for years to come. And maybe even share a laugh or two down the road. 😉
As the daughter of a mother with intense anxiety, give both of you the gift of Driver’s Ed! I took Driver’s Ed and it was definitely better and more thorough than what my parents would have taught me. I grew up in rural southwestern Ontario and now live in Toronto and I’m a very comfortable driver. I still recall some of the lessons from my Young Drivers classes and the in-car sessions clearly, even though it was like 20 years ago. Highly recommend making the investment!
Driver's ed is the way to go. It was part of the curriculum at my High School but has since been phased out. Why? It is an essential part of being an adult human so why exclude it from school? It would totally be worth it to pay someone else to teach your daughter to drive- it will save stress on both of you and it will probably be better because the instructor will know the rules of the road. Good luck! This is when my grey hairs starting coming in. LOL
Teaching someone to drive is stressful; it requires lots of patience and presence and being calm and non-judgemental, regardless. Practicing in parking lots and on low traffic roads and streets are helpful. Information overload is another thing to be aware of. Providing basic instruction before even starting the car is essential; where everything is, how to use it, etc. Then, slowly build on the basics after each step is conquered. This will build her confidence, and your calm. Oh yes, and positive encouragement, as well. Good luck. 😊
Teaching my daughter to drive-the most horrifying time of my life. I started carrying my rosary in my pocket every time I stepped into the car with her. I feel your pain, Cass.
Oh my gosh, teaching my son to drive was stressful. BUT it was mostly because he didnt have right peripheral vision. He had a stroke when he was 16 and lost his right peripheral on both eyes. Fortunately, he is allowed to legally drive. We bought him some additional mirrors just to be safe. I wanted to make sure he was extra safe, because he is responsible for making sure he can drive safely for himself and others - and this was all that mattered to me at that time. We would practice in the school parking lots on the weekends, and parks where nobody was so he didn't have that added pressure. He was completely off the roads where people were. I would have him park in the spots at the school, then get out so he could see what it looked like outside vs from inside the car. That way he could also gauge where he needed to be in his lanes, etc. So we would practice in these larger open areas until we both felt more comfortable, then we would go down smaller roads with hardly any traffic, and just slowly worked our way up. He was good about listening to me, and I had to remember what is was like, myself so I just prayed to be nice and gentle and understanding. It was scary at times LOL. I am so proud of him - he is 23 now and is a good driver. I think finding a safe area where they can practice helps take some of the pressure off and is easier to learn! Hope its going well! :)
Teaching Izzy to drive is gonna be a breeze Cass.. No.. Really. 1st & foremost, take her to a medical park with side streets, that is closed on the wkends. No Stress! When she follows the rules and ur not having heart failure.. take her to a less busy part of the city.. preferably a residential area. Mayb ur own neighborhood. She's gonna do fine. Go Izzy.. Go Izzy !! 😆 🤣
Cas, I’m already excited to see this video and know it will help even though I haven’t watched the whole video!!! Your voice has calmed me already! Thank you!!😊
My BEST advice for teaching a kid to drive- HUSBANDS! That’s something I definitely have my husband do, ain’t no way I can handle it. I still grip the oh crap handle and push the imaginary brake pedal when I’m in the car with my 21 yo. 😂😂
Cass, your advice has always worked for me and this is no different. I made a list of every drawer and cupboard that's been bothering me with its messiness. I picked 1 each day to do. On day 3, it was 10pm at night before I got to have a chance to work on a drawer. I thought I'll just skip today, 1 day doesn't matter, too tired, etc. Then I remembered 5 minutes matter, and I don't have to always prove that I don't stick to my goals, leading to negative thoughts. So i tidied my pj drawer 😊. It's now been 4 days, I have 4 tidy drawers, & I feel accomplished. Thx Cass 💕
I taught my kids and nieces to drive. I find it best to drive to a very quiet area, then let them practice without fear of hitting something. You can do it ❤
I taught my niece. We started in a large parking lot of a defunct business. Then we drove around a university campus on weekends when no classes were in session; it had dual-lane boulevards, traffic signs, and pedestrian crosswalks. Then, we drove into a nearby small town with wide streets in a 10-block area; it had light traffic, lights, signs, etc. Then, we began driving in my neighborhood; wide-ish streets, more traffic, etc. Then, drove throughout the city. Then, highway driving. The last thing was parallel parking. She built up her confidence slowly and I didn't have to freak out. (But, I'm a pretty chill person.)
I hate to break it to you Cas but you are not the right person to teach your kid to drive. A kid needs a calm vibe and someone they dont know to teach them. Hire someone. 100%
I remember my mom helping me learn to drive. It was so stressful. When it got to the test I did terrible on the freeway portion. Definitely recommend getting an instructor to help. Even just another adult friend.
I agree, trying to teach my kids was so stressful and I was clenching thearm rest for dear life! Hire a driving instructor to get in the practice hours and any driving school requirements.
We had drivers education when I learned how to drive. The local auto dealer leased two Chevette's to the school for the school to teach students in. It helped so much!
Personally, I wanted my mom to teach me. My mom was the calmer of the two. She was horrifically bad, screaming and jumping, I told her no way and had her take us home. My dad who was a terror in my every day life was the calm one I learned to drive under. So, if she can calm down it could work 🤣
I sent both of my kids to a driving school in a big city where their grandparents live. We live in a small town and I wanted them to learn how to drive in real traffic. The school was excellent. They are both really good drivers. My son just got his provisional and can drive on his own now. Choose the school. I think they feel less anxious and less defensive about their actions, because they had a different teacher and not mom or dad. We still instruct when in the car, but you can then see the good decisions they have learned to make. AND if their driving still causes you anxiety, sit in the back and let your husband sit in the front (especially if he is calmer.) I would sit in back and close my eyes (wearing sun glasses) so I didn't make them anxious.
I have taught 2 kids and my niece and nephews. The best thing to do is to remain calm. Find a university or college area that has plenty of parking lots and closed roads with low speed limits. This will allow them a place to drive and become familiar with stopping/braking; winding roads and how to navigate without being in a lot of traffic. We have an area like this and it has been wonderful for driver's education. Overall, just be patient and have fun.
My parents paid for Drivers Ed and that was the best route. Not only I learned how to drive, I also learned how to be safe while driving. Worth the money. I recommend it!
There are only a few days left to join the Take Your House Back Team for just $94!! Get your home decluttered and organized for 2023 here: www.takeyourhouseback.com/courses/take-your-house-back?ref=5bbd37
I've never heard or seen any of Mr Frederick clients complain of lost....I think he's just too perfect.
I'm from Germany 🇩🇪, me and two other of my friends tried him immediately we testify, Mr Frederick trading wonders.
I'm definitely going for a long term trade this season
8
Organise
Have a written plan
Break it down into doable chunks
Brain dump into bite sized portions
In detail
Schedule a day and time
For each task
Five minutes matters
Get organised
Take everything out one thing at a time eg a drawer
Complete the cycle
Finish each project
Thank you for the breakdown!!! 😃
Thank you for sharing your notes 😉
Ack! I'm a stuff shuffler for sure!
Not in 2023! Thank you Cas
I am a VISUAL Learner . . . That's WHY I WATCH Videos . . however, as much as I Love Cas , her 5-second-flash of each step is NOT Enough for me ! Therefore, I truly appreciate Your Written (Typed ) LIST of EACH STEP !.. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a Screenshot of it and PRINT IT OUT.. that way I can : Put it in an 8" x 10" Acrylic Photo Frame . Start by Standing it on My NIGHTSTAND ( read it first thing in the morning ; Last thing I read before bed ) ; Start with Decluttering/Organizing both Inside & Surface of Nightstand ( Satisfying & Motivating ! ) .. Carry "The List" to Each Room/Area ! Also, I can slip my Brain Dump into the back of Photo Frame ; as well as my Detailed Decluttering Plan for Each Room/ Section ( plus my REWARD [ ie : ☕ 🌹 📖 🛁 ] for Completing Each big 'Chunk' of my Goals ! Perhaps a Mini-Vision Board w/ Photos / Sketches to Keep My Goal in Mind : 🛋️ 🌹 🖼️ 🪑 🪟 🍃 . Another thought . . . I might try using " Write On,Wipe Off Markers" to Check ✅ Off Each Step / Task, as I Complete it . When I'm all Done, I can just Wipe It Off and it's ready for the Next Room ! Happy New Year !
Thank you, Shoshana! Your list really helps me remember the points.
My health has been absolute crap for a few years. I've been trying this Five Minutes way of getting things done. That's about all the time I have energy for. I rarely get things 100% done, but with each Five Minutes I get closer to being done until eventually, the job IS DONE!! I feel like I can do positive things in my home and life again. This has been a tremendous help to bringing joy back to my life. It does take a while, and sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards, but as I keep doing Five Minutes, I start seeing improvement.
Thank you, Cas. You have been THE inspiration to me. My husband (who works two full time jobs so doesn't have time to do much around the house, but still does most of the house work that gets done) also thanks you. He is no longer feeling that everything is dumped on him to do. ❤️🥰
You're so welcome!
Praying for your health to improve! That must be so hard. Great job doing to what you , and big healing to you in 2023 ! Liz 💕☀️🥰
It's progress! Keep up the good work.
"When that object doesn't have a home, think where you'd look for it first".
Brilliant!
:)
On the topic of the perfectionist having trouble starting until they have the perfect solution to the mess... one tip that has helped me in this area is telling myself, "I can always make a change." This helps me to get going and use whatever bin or organizational items I pick now, knowing if I don't like them later because of how they work, or look... or I see something on pinterest or at a friend's that I like more...I can change what I have & make it better at any time. This helps me to just get going& make perfectionist changes to it later.
That thought has helped me a lot, too!
@truebluestables, decluttering and organizing is a long term, life long process! Key for perfectionist to settle for “good enough” is to schedule 25 min a day (and must STOP after 25 min or you get burn out) working on a FIRST DRAFT of each area, and next day you MUST pick a DIFFERENT area than you have already worked on.
This is a good idea. I'm so tired with my obsession for a percect house and its never perfect. Its a never ending loop@marylut6077
When my two boys turned 15-16…we hired someone else to teach them and believe me when I say that was the best WIN-WIN decision for all of us especially the boys. There was zero pressure on all of us. DO IT! You won’t regret it. Raising a teenager is hard enough without having to teach them to drive. 😊
Same here! Find a good driving school and they'll teach her everything she needs to know to be safe, and to pass the road test. Best best best money you will every spend! Three seconds at the stop sign = tap your finger three times on the steering wheel before you move forward. Just so many little tips and tricks I would never ever think of! Then they'll re-teach you how to drive when they're in the car with you! lol
I hear that!
Agreed! And in Ontario, they will get a discount on their car insurance (or you will when you add them as an occasional driver) for doing a ministry-approved driver’s ed program. They can also get their G2 at 8 mos instead of 12, meaning they will be able to drive on their own sooner. You can also pay for a one hour refresher class before doing the road test for the G2 and/or full G license, to ensure they know all the tips and tricks to pass with flying colours the first time!
My husband taught both of our kids!
I hired someone to teach my son to drive as well. It was the best decision for my sanity. Unfortunately he isn't that great of a driver to this day. He has had quite a few accidents. 😔 Maybe he would have been better off if I taught him. I don't know. But for my sanity, it was the best decision.
We did a combo of driving instructions; both her dad and I (very different styles) and then she took a professional course. The course taught her a lot and even administered the final test. Just remember getting a license and gaining experience are two very different things. We are never Done learning 😉
Hey Cass. Getting a drivers license in Canada is hard. Waaaay more difficult than it was when we took our tests. Our mistake was not realizing that so we taught our son all our bad habits. Then he kept failing the driving test. It wasn't until we got smart and put him in driving lessons that he finally passed. It was hard on him to keep failing and hard on us to watch him fail. Enroll your daughter in a good driving school. Then you need to review the rules so you teach her the right way. I wish I'd known that from the start. It would have saved a ton of stress.. good luck!!
What a practical and motivating video. After watching this video I realized , I am also messy because I am looking for perfection .but it has ended me feeling frustrating . The more I want to organize ,the messier my place is . Thank you so much ClutterBug for inspiring people like me .
My pleasure 😊
I love this videos. I have ADHD and my house is a cluttered mess no matter what I do. Watching this video gave me chills. I can't wait to get started! Thank you for taking the time to make lives easier. I can't wait to post again about my progress.
Check out Dana White too - a slob comes clean. Shes GREAT for adhd brains
Great video, Cas! Key for us when our kids were learning to drive was to find a business park or industrial park with real roads, and go there on evenings and weekends when there's no traffic. You drive there, and then let her drive once you're there. So much less stressful than out in traffic right away! Good luck!👍🏻
My Mother taught me to drive in the cemetery! There was no traffic (lol) and low curbs so if I made a mistake I knew it but no car damage. She also told me if I wasn't careful this is where I would end up. Funny but true.
THIS! Our local zoo (and attached park) has almost everything you'd encounter in real traffic (including railroad crossings - for the mini train ride). After hours very little traffic and a couple of parking lots to practice smooth starts and stops - getting that 'easy foot' is hard!
Yes. My dad drove to a stadium parking lot in the off season, and we practiced in a giant empty lot going in and out, parking, stopping, etc.
@@janiceyoung5958 I love this!
We are currently doing the exact same thing with our son. Practising parking in an empty business lot, three point turns in wide driveways, reversing into those driveways. There is housing right next to the industrial area so he can venture in there…narrower winding roads, parked cars, and a young girl on a bike adds to challenge! These quieter areas have really helped his confidence.
I've taught my three & a few others to drive... my advice, if you're not confident/comfortable behind the wheel, let someone else teach her, so she becomes a good driver who knows the correct rules of the road~ people everywhere will thank you, & you & your daughter will enjoy road trips more once she's learned!!
I love your show.
I’m a butterfly that sews, quilts, and machine embroiders. I also
paints (acrylic, acrylic pouring, and now added watercolor , makes my own air dry clay, create fairy trees and houses, create pinecone wreaths. Because of you my sewing/art room is super organized. Everything is stored in see through plastic containers. All have labels. Yes I downsized mostly fabric and patterns but also dried up paint, ugly artwork, used sketchpads and half finished products.
After I realized I could not teach my daughter to drive and keep my sanity, I found her an excellent driving teacher. What a relief! She got her license on the second try, and now drives everywhere in her own car. What a huge blessing. Leave it to the experts!
This was very helpful - I am one of those perfectionists who can´t start and I appreciate the encouragement 🙂 Nothing happens if you don´t start the process.
So true!
Take a clue from a saying quilters use: Done is Better Than Perfect. 'Cause not being able to start is crippling you. Just dive in & accept imperfection in yourself, adopting Done is Better than Perfect & hopefully will get you out of your PARALYSIS.
My dad had us get in the car, get familiar/comfortable being in the driver seat. He then made us repeatedly drive forward and backwards a sort distance until we were use to the gas and how sensitive it was, practicing braking. It helped me alot, as once I got on the road, I was comfortable with the car itself. Congrats to your daughter and good luck!🙂
Thanks!
Thank you for these tips! They're just what I needed today! 😊 I am teaching my 4th child to drive, #5 is ready now, too! 1st step- have your child ficus on the center of the road, several car length ahead. Like bowling, or baseball and modeling on the cat walk, they're eyes will direct their hands! Focusing on the center of the lane will prevent "ping-ponging" from white line to yellow line! It will also keep them aware of all future activity ahead, such as cars entering the roadway, or squirrels darting into the road. If they are aware of their surroundings they can learn safer, quicker, and smoother responses! Also, warn against tailgating, and warn them not to depend on their brakes- in other words, start slowing down for stop light/signs, and slowing cars, sooner than later! If they see red lights ahead (traffic slowing for a red light) they should at least take their foot off the gas, giving you the idea that they are aware and preparing to slow down, easing your anxiety. It's the polite and responsible thing to do. Lol. Hope this helps!!
Also, you can do this! Breathe, and remember you raise your child, you can trust them! Talk to them calmly, teach rather than panic. You got this! Message me, call me, I'll talk you through it!!!
I'm so glad! And thanks for the tips!
All great advice!!
YES to teaching the importance of not tailgating!!! So many accidents--and deaths--could be prevented if people followed this one simple rule. It also helps reduce traffic jams, which is just good citizenship. ; - )
I would add never driving in anyone's blind spot, staying out of the far right merge lane unless you're merging, and always checking the bike lane and sidewalk just as diligently as any other lane of traffic.
All of that said, I definitely think Driver's Ed is worth the investment! ; - D
I have taught 3 drivers and I’m about to start with #4! Start out easy- I let them drive on streets with low speed limits. We drive to church going 25 MPH, or down Grandma’s street to her house. We gain confidence together and tackle the freeway in a few months. Find some friends with golf carts or riding lawn mowers- that helps a bunch. Good luck!
Pay for Driver's Education. I did with both my daughters and it was so worth it. Happy 2023!
I actually learned to drive as an adult. My husband taught me the basics in a parking lot and then I took driving lessons to learn how to drive on the road and highways. Highly recommend driving lessons! My husband is a pretty calm driver, but the instructor knew how to handle my specific driving anxiety even better.
Thanks for sharing!
Clutter Bug: I bought books, planners, storage items/found it didn't work. Yes, until, I added the butterfly method in specific areas in the home. Now, I'll set the timer to 5 minutes to help the cleaning. THANKS for your ideas ___________________________🖋🖊🖌🖍!
You're welcome!
My goal is to get rid of everything that has no purpose in my home, and put everything else in a permanent place. I'm tackling drawers, bins, cabinets and filling boxes with stuff. The one place I will likely not do much decluttering (getting rid of stuff) however is my craft space. I do a lot of different types of crafting and a lot of that includes taking random stuff and making something from it. BUT I really really want to get it organized with like items, so I can find things. Thanks for the push!
I'm a butterfly, but because of how I was raised I learned to do things "right". (By my dad's standards... detailed).
It was so much pressure!
Pay or get your hubby to do it. My daughter kicked me out of car-lesson duty, saying I made her so nervous that she was sure we’d crash. Driving school. Plus then you get a discount on her car insurance. Good luck! 😅😊🚙😃
I found your channel a couple of days ago . I have had a rough year last year with my health. Finally feel ready to start organize my home .
Loved the video. I'm the perfectionist waiting for the perfect place to put something. So it will sit where it landed until I find that place. Driving school was the best money ever spent on my kids. The sanity it saved was worth every penny. :)
Glad you enjoyed it!
As someone with ADHD who's been slob my entire life, I promise you that these techniques work, folks. I recently had a maintenance man tell me that I was so organized. Me? Me. Wow. Knowing the styles of organizing and using those labels are the key for us. And knowing that they work makes them even easier to do. I tell myself if I don't need something and can buy another if I do, out it goes to the trash, recycle, or donate bag.
Haha I flunked my driving test 2 times and should have flunked the 3rd time (which meant waiting a YEAR to take it again) but I burst into tears and the guy passed me out of pity. Oh and cemeteries. I've taught many people to drive, including driving stick, in cemeteries.
I also noticed that people with immaculate homes always put things away immediately after use, clean as they go and always do something every time they do something else. Example wipe the counter or appliances while they wait for water to boil for tea etc.
You are so funny and honest ! Love your organization tips., but always love the “talks” at the end ! Thank you for being so open and vulnerable!
The talks at the end are the best!
I love your five minute technique. I had heard it before and it does make a big difference. I am struggling with chronic pain and was getting very depressed and frustrated because there was so much I wanted to do in my house and I just didn't have the strength until I eventually decided to just do a few minutes at a time based on how much pain I could cope with and since then I have been making huge strides and feel so much better with the state of my house.
I taught all 3 of my kids to drive in an empty parking lot in our suburban. They got super comfortable constantly taking sharp turns to weave up and down the lot. Using their blinkers, looking both ways, etc. Taught them to park between the lines and today, they can drive and park a Motorhome if they needed to.
Awesome!
Hi Cas! Teaching my son to drive was absolutely terrifying! I felt like my foot was going to push through the floor on the passenger side as I pushed the imaginary brake! It gets better but whew it's hard to do! Even now he occasionally makes choices that scare me and he's been driving for two years! I found that driving the same familiar rural route several times in a row helps to build confidence. Practicing parking at the mall when it's closed is good. Our Subaru has a backup camera but our Explorer does not, so I made him drive both. We have a fairly long driveway so I made him back up the whole way multiple times. If he did something wrong when driving, I asked him to explain what it was rather than shouting at him like I secretly wanted to. He was less likely to make the same mistake twice that way. He's a better parallel parker than I am thankfully. We went to the driving testing center and practiced the course several times when they were closed. Deep breaths! Good luck!
I had to laugh when you were talking about teaching your daughter to drive. Your too cute but it true. Lol.
I own a driving school and have taught thousands of kids the RIGHT, SAFE way to drive.
Think of it as teaching someone to declutter and organize. One small task at a time. Breathe and start with the very basics. We we not born knowing how to naturally declutter and organize our insane lives and homes and if we do not step back and do it right, we will never achieve our goals and always be living in chaos. Same woth driving, if we just get through the mechanics, we eventually crash or are always in stress because of the near misses we were not expecting.
Coach a new driver just like a client. One step at a time, breathe and start with the basics...declutter the stress by going into a parking lot and simply practicing smooth stops and starts until they are no longer an issue, then move on to a scarier task in small steps. This way they are not trying to process too much at once and can handle the next dangerous thing like being aware of the risks around them and not trying to focus on learning to stop smoothly because that task has been handled. I tell all my students to do their "stupid people checks" in their blind spots, by doing this they laugh and never forget to look. Keep it light and fun and they will have a better understanding of the bigger picture, which is to always be a safe driver and to be ready for anything and have the tools to handle each situation. Kind of like building up decluttering muscles. Also, us commentary driving, have your child tell you what they see. Ex. (I see that truck about to pull out, I am covering my brake just incase)(yes, I see that light changing to yellow, I am slowing down) this way you know their thought process and are not panicking thinking they may be missing important information and it helps put you both at ease.
I know this was ling, sorry :) but I hope it helps.
Rosemarie
I hope this helps a little.
I watched one of your past videos that also emphasized the importance of completely decluttering for organization and it really helped me declutter for the new year. The way I would "declutter" in the past was to jam all my newly acquired junk in the closet, but this time around I finally pushed myself to throw things away. I've had enough of wading through random items daily so your vids really help, thanks!
YOU are so motivating!!! I can't wait to get into it now!!
LOL you are so hilariously descriptive with your stories! I am not in your position yet, God bless us!! Honestly Cas i think with your driving experience .....just love hearing them and love you but maybe just ....maybe your should seriously consider driver's ed! Don't Pass on the stress! I think you'll be grateful you did!
Good advice!
When I began my decluttering journey in 2020, I called it All out August. I jotted on a notepad each room and what I wanted to declutter from that space. I was focusing on all my hidden clutter in my drawers, cupboards etc.. I only moved into the next area once I had ticked off everything in the area I was doing.
I followed it with Spring clean September ( I’m in the Southern Hemisphere) and organize October. I have never achieved the success I have in my home as I did then and it changed my way of doing things completely.
Seeing this video now, I can now see why it worked so well for me….I did your steps without even knowing that I was setting myself up for success. Everything you’ve said here is so true🙌🙌🙌
Thanks for sharing!
I love that idea: I'm now planning my Winter Makeover for various areas of my home. I do 5 minutes in each room (declutter/clean/organize) and a 1 hour better in a selected area. This idea of a seasonal focus will help me to be more focused and intentional. I get so many ideas that typically hit when I want to sleep.
Love your month labels! Started my brain going for themes for 2023...
@@sarahpopovczak4411 thank you. They really kept me on track and reminded me of my goal for the month.
We paid for a driving school-- one of my mantras is "buy yourself a little happiness," and doing so bought me A LOT of happiness...
Love that!
I had the same problem with teaching my kids driving . My husband ended up teaching and helping both my kids to drive or hire someone. It only makes the kids feel stressed from your stress. I as you didn't want that. Love your channel.
Yess, I far preferred learning with my dad for this exact reason- my mom was too stressed! Until quite a while in, where she was able to say, "Blaire has lived this long with no accidents, maybe it'll be ok", and she lightened up a bit, hahaha. I still had to drive with her quite a lot to get the required day and night driving hours to actually upgrade my learner's permit to a license, since my dad was often busy working. She tried not to have visibly white knuckles since that was something that her own mom did when she was learning, at least, but she far preferred when we were in a vehicle where she could see my speedometer from the passenger seat, so she could peek over instead of anxiously asking every few seconds when I'm just going the speed limit. I definitely preferred that too... 😂
"Stop the stuff shuffling"" Thank you! Sincerely, a perfectionist!
I am 41 and I still remember how anxious my mum was when trying to teach me to drive. I ended up being taught by my grandfather and driving lessons. Definitely driving lessons are worth it, and another family member or friend who has taught others to drive or is normally a relaxed driver. Helped a lot.
Thanks for sharing!!
It is extremely satisfying to declutter and organize things. I have Multiple Sclerosis and one of the main side effects for me is chronic fatigue. I'm talking cannot lift my head off the pillow exhaustion. So, learning ways to organize, even at my almost empty nest stage of life, is important for me and my family. Keep teaching!
Another MS person here. Thanks so much, Cassie! Small steps are the key, doing a little something when I have energy.
Cas,
When my Mom taught me to Drive she took me to the Mall or a large empty parking lot like 5-6 am on Saturday and Sunday. She let me drive all over and get comfortable behind the wheel and she would sit in her lawn chair reading the paper, she also brought cones to practice stuff. Hope that gives you some help.
best tips EVER, that I got from these years watching you Cass:
1. If takes a minute or less.... do it now!
2. Touch it once
Think about them all the time, every single day, and I´m being less messy, or more organized, hehe
THANK YOU 4EVER
You are so right about having a plan it really works. Otherwise your just all over the place.
Driver’s Ed for sure! I stopped the video at the “just five minutes” part and cleaned out my travel container, which I had been procrastinating about! Yay! I got it done! Now for my closet! 😬👍
Great job!
I invested in professional driving lessons. Best thing ever. Dual control car and a teacher who managed my anxiety in a lovely calm manner. Passed my practical first time because of her.
Awesome!
Don't teach her to drive. Get someone else to do it.
Agree
I agree. Someone taught me to drive when I was learning, and their vehicles have a break on their side of the vehicle for emergencies. Also, my dad wasn’t the best teacher and doesn’t have patience so it was nice to have someone else 😅
If you can afford it, a professional teacher is worth every penny. With the oldest kid, I was the nervous mom, it was not helpful. As the other kids took drivers Ed they reminded me of good driving practices, like head checking before changing lanes.
3 words: hire a professional! A lot of times they are retired police officers and have incredible patience with the kids!
I was just about to say that lol
I've taught 2 of my kids to drive (as well as my best friend back in the day). My boys had the benefit of learning on our John Deere ride mower before they got behind the wheel. I feel like that made my job easier. We also paid for driving school. Having them practice on quiet roads on Sunday mornings is an idea. I'm much calmer than my husband when teaching them how to drive.
Yes, I was tasked with the drivers ed duties for my step-son and the best thing I ever did was to hire a divers ed teacher. It was great! He taught my step-son all the rules and got all the first time experiences out of the way which made it easier for me to just practice with my step-son instead of me having to do the teaching. I'm also a pretty calm and patient driver, which is why I had the drivers ed duties instead of my husband, but I would have her drive with which ever parent is the most calm in the beginning. It does make a difference in their driving performance. And again, definitly hire someone to do the bulk of the teaching!
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this video. I hadn't realized that my perfectionism was blocking me from completing my organizing tasks but once you said that it made so much sense to me!
Teaching Driving: The best thing we did to take the stress from teaching our 5 kids to drive was spending 15 minutes in the driveway practicing "go" and "stop" maneuvers. We would give one of those directions and the kid would move their foot to the gas or break peddle. We did this until they felt confident in their muscle memory in finding the right peddle and we saw they could react quickly. This really kept the stress levels down for both the parent and the new driver when we got out on the road.
Needed the reminder to embrace "good enough"...thank you!! ❤🤗 Your Mom instinct about hiring a driving instructor is on point!! 😘
You're welcome!
I have been watching you and a few other ladies ..I’m on a roll ..I have been purging my house ..1Room at a time ..donating plenty..today I organized part of my kitchen..so I need a box so I can take to the church
LOL- I had to have my husband teach the kids as my anxiety was too high. Also- we paid for them to have classes at a driver's school so they took them around and let them drive. SO worth it! After my kid started driving I became a nervous car rider - I'm still way more anxious when my husband drives than I was before that- basically it never went away and my kids are 28 and 24 lol.
Driving school.
Am 76 and that is how I easily learned.
Hi Cas. I absolutely love your channel, I've learned so much about decluttering and organizing from you. My home still seems like an overwhelming mess, but it's gotten so much better since I found your channel. Getting started is usually my biggest road block because of adhd, depression, and anxiety. But breaking it into small chunks and doing 5 minutes at a time gets me started. Plus, watching your videos while I organize helps a lot, too!
I was the same exact way with ALL 3 of my kids!!! I was a basket case so needless to say, it made them the same way. I had 9 years between my oldest and youngest and even time didn't help me do any better. By the time it came around to my last kid learning to drive, it was a given who was going to teach them...... Dad!!
My husband had patience of gold when it csme to this, not so much for other things in life but for that, he did and I was so very grateful!!
You, Kathryn, and Bargain Bethany inspire me to organize and declutter every New Year. Love watching y'all.
The trifecta! My favs too
I taught both of my older kids to drive. It's a very stressful time! Expect that there will be accidents. We had multiple parking lot incidents, a rear ending, and a totaled vehicle over the first few years. It was tough, and my nerves were indeed shot! But now one is a police officer and the other hasn't had an incident in years. Just remember that repetition is the best teacher. The more you say the same things over and over in a calm tone will shape their mental thoughts over time. Gentle reminders every time as they drive is helpful. Keep your distance, teach them how to check how many car lengths they are behind(1 second=1 car length from both passing the same stationary object, then maintain 1 car length distance for every 10mph), put on your turn signal, come slowly to a stop, you want to see the person's tires in front of you just hitting the ground over your hood, head check your blind spots, don't just rely on mirrors. Be sure to explain the why's to get their buy-in! Just remember that they feed off of your energy, so the more calm you are, the more calm they will be. My biggest helpful tip is also the most ridiculous one but it worked for me and it's still a good core memory for them! When my kids would stop too fast, I would overexageratedly and slowly lean foward and go WOOOOAAAHHHH like I was getting whiplash in slow motion! And they thought my ridiculousness was ridiculous but also funny but ultimately they still didn't want me to keep doing it, so they stopped doing it over time! Also, my kids had to go to driving school cause of state law and it was helpful but you still have to work with them as well. One last also, teaching her to drive will probably also make you a better driver as well! I have faith in you, good luck!!!
My kids are adults and I still look back on the years when they were learning to drive as the most stressful thing I’ve ever done!
My mom was a lot like you on the teaching to drive reflexes( her freaking out in the car), it caused too much tension with my parents so I had others teach me friends at school that drove well, my cousin's boyfriend, my boyfriend's neighbor was kind enough with the patience to cover everything eventually and let me use his car to take the test in also. I will say multiple teaches helped me learn different types of vehicles, manual and automatic and how to drive with different personalities with me in the car. I think the variety helped over all. I know its not the norm but it was awesome for me.
Thanks for sharing!
@@Clutterbug When my mother was freaking out about my driving I handed her a stuffed animal to squeeze.
Small tasks 5:43 has been life changing for me. I used to think I had to turn the whole room upsidedown to clean and organize.
Love your videos! Very helpful even for single people w/o kids.
Re: driving: have another adult, not you if they're not able to hear this, explain to them that the goal of learning to drive isn't to get the DRIVER from point a to point b, but it's to learn how to be able to provide a safe, pleasant (non-carsick inducing) ride to the passengers, which is a huge responsibility and honor to drive others places. Starting and stopping slowly is the key to not making passengers carsick actually; the goal is to learn how to drive like a monorail -- smooth and effortless. Obviously there are certain situations, like merging, where flooring it matters, but the main quality of a good driver is to be in control and able to calibrate speed as needed. Good luck to y'all!
Other tip: teach kids on stick shift, then they'll be great on automatic as well and able to drive in Europe/globally should they ever need. Underrated skill.;)
Thank you for all the great tips Cas!! Also, I’ve been teaching my daughter how to drive since Aug 2022. My best advice is to ask her to drive in a way that her passengers feel safe. Also, give her as much feedback as possible, but, also it’s important to give her complements, like when she was younger. At the end of the drive, ask her what she can improve. More importantly…. I suggest paying for practice in the highway/freeway. I plan on paying for those lessons as well. Good luck 🍀
Thanks for sharing!!
I had the experience with my daughter first, and then my son. I paid for a driving school to teach my son…bought two times back to back, because he asked for more lessons. It was SO WORTH IT!!!
In many places in the US, you can sign up for driving lessons through the school. Luckily my daughter's school offered it! Also, love that blue sweater on you!
I love your sweater. Where did you purchase it?
Even if you do the driving lessons through the school, you still have to have driving hours with a parent or a legal guardian.
@@Mysticsoul77 iirc, the driving hours can be with any adult over... 21? 18? one of those, with a valid drivers license themselves. Aunt Sally got balls of steel and a knack for gentle guidance? Hey, you should spend more time with her! 😂 My dad was often too busy working to go out with me, but whenever he wasn't, or we were going on family trips trying to get my driving hours up (you need a certain amount of both day driving and night driving hours), I would ask him if he would go with me instead of mom (or if they were both going, order mom to the back seat- I was told the driver has final say in anything happening in the car, was brought up to respect that, and made full use of it!). My mom was a grab-bar-clutcher and her stress showed in her voice whenever she questioned my (perfectly fine) speed which she couldn't quite see in that vehicle from the passenger seat, much less if she had any concerns or corrections, all of which my dad was able to do in a very casual sounding manner which was far more helpful and less stressful.
@@blaireshoe8738 I don't drive so no clue
Using random cardboard boxes for storing items 1st has helped me control my bin and basket buying. So I have a place to put the items while organizing. It's alot of fun when you know the dimensions of the basket you're looking for, and having "permission," from yourself to buy it is great.
For sure!
@@Clutterbug Eeeeeeee! Love you Cass!
Thanks for all your needed and fun content.
That really was a great video - the mention of perfectionism and being unable to commit to a system got me right in the kisser 😂😂😂😅 THANKS CAS!
You're welcome!
Hello,
I have really enjoyed watching your videos lately. They have been very inspiring and enjoyable to watch. I especially loved the sewing room renovation you did for Marge. As a sewing enthusiast myself, I would love to have a space like that! This video gave some really good tips that will definitely help me. Thank you for all you do to help all of us!
I am very sorry for the very long message, but I have a situation that is difficult for me to deal with and I am hoping someone can help me. I generally tend to be a positive, proactive person. However, when it comes to organizing at this stage of my life, I have many obstacles in my way (pun intended). A few of them are as follows:
First, I agree with what I have seen in many of your videos, that if you are going to do a complete clean and declutter you have to remove everything from that room, clean it, sort things, then put the things back into it in an organized fashion. I don't like to take things (like clean laundry) and place them into dusty, furniture or into another cluttered portion of the room. However, my husband won't allow me to do it that way. He wants me to take a drawer at a time, a crate at a time, etc.. Is there any way that I can convince him to let me do it the way it would be most helpful for me? Or is it possible to do it this way and that there something I am missing?
Second, we moved into a building that was filled with things when we got there. Then we brought our own things, as well as things people have donated that we haven't had time to sort yet (we are a ministry). I am so overwhelmed that I take a look around and I just can't deal with it. All of the organizing videos I have ever seen say, “use a bag or a box for donations”, but there is no space for the box or bag to go! There is very little room for walking without tripping over things. How can I declutter in this situation?
Third, I am sure you get this a lot, but my husband, my mother (who lives with us) and I are all different organizing types. I tend to be a cricket, my mom (who helps us with the ministry) is a bee, and my husband is a ladybug/butterfly. I know I am supposed to defer to their type of organizing, but can you spare some concrete tips that I can use to help us to organize what we do decide to keep someday (once we miraculously declutter) that will help me to keep my sanity, and avoid WW3 because we can't agree on how to do things?
Fourth, we are on a very limited budget, and cannot afford the shelving units and bins that bees and butterflies need to keep things visual. We are also very tight on time. We spend a lot of our time with homestead chores and getting ready for the services on the weekends, so we can't make our own shelving units as we would like. Are there any tips for what we can do to improvise?
I am so overwhelmed and discouraged, that I don't know what to do. Please help! Thanks so much for any help you can give Many blessings to you.
We moved into a new house the end of October and I’m still unpacking. I do my best to make a daily plan but haven’t done a big picture plan. I have my spiral and pen to brain dump and get started on my overall plan then I can break it down into daily tasks. I’m hosting our family on January 7, and I need to have things done. Thank you for helping me focus and be successful!
yield to the person on your right when coming to the stop sign at the same time. Also tell her on a right hand turn at a red light the law is to come to a complete stop, and yield to traffic, and only turn when traffic is clear. I took my daughter to a back country road with a fairly straight road where she could practice without traffic and get a feel and control of the car. Thanks for the refresher video. I for one still need the help!
Just remembering back in my high school days when we actually had drivers Ed as a class.. and our d/e car was a brand new Trans Am..
Those were the days 😄 (I think they got the Trans Am so we'd want to take the class lol)
Even after years of watching your TH-cam channel, I find this is the most concise explanation I have seen of the organizing steps that will pay off in the end. Thank you!
Pay the $$ to send her to driving school - totally worth it! Thank you for the organizing motivation, I am SO ready to purge and organize in 2023.
While we didn't schedule organizing this way, my husband's calendar did show where we were going and what we were doing. We called it "getting on the square". You think this is restrictive, but it actually frees up your day. Once we had 2 Boy Scout events and my daughter's birthday on the same day! And everything fell into place. Now I have to teach this to my son-in-law. He is starting to get better.
:)
Get some window chalk and let others know you have a driver in training! It’s amazing how much more courteous other drivers become. Also: I took both of my kids to a local cemetery to practice. They have roads, stop signs, minimal traffic…can’t hurt a thing! Good luck!
Smart!
Yes! I learned in a cemetery too!
The really nice thing about the cemetery is it usually has a pretty low speed restriction, so your novice driver can start out as slowly as he wants, without worrying about backing up traffic (or scaring his mom to death! 😁).
I've taught a few younger friends of mine and now my daughter also how to drive. Thing I like to do first is start with the absolute basics of using the car. All the instruments and get them comfortable even sitting behind the wheel. Then go somewhere isolated if you can, if not an empty car park after/before the shops open/shut and just get them to drive around it. Pretend there are traffic lights etc, other cars, giving way, and they can get used to using the accelerator/breaks calmly so its not all jerky or too heavy on the pedals.
Then once they are a pro at driving around, go out on to a quiet street so they can practice with other actual cars.
Save the busy streets until they are really confident and have quite a few hours under their belts.
My biggest tip though, is to be calm.. Panic on the inside but stay calm on the outside lol. As hard as that sounds. The last thing they need is the person teaching them to be a panicked mess. Then everyone is just anxious and they wont learn effectively.
Hope some of that helped :)
Here in Ireland you have to have 12 lessons from a professional instructor. But in between the lessons I went with my daughter for practice. I'm a terrible passenger at the best of times (even though I'm a confident driver myself) but I was very nervous and I was always glad to be back from our journey! I even went to get out of the car to berate someone who beeped at her for no reason 😂. She passed first time thank goodness ... Now I just worry every time she goes driving by herself. You don't think of this when you're having a baby!
IKR?!
My daughter has a car fund and researched that 15 year olds who take drivers Ed can get their permit as soon as they demonstrate they’ve started the class and can pass the test. She paid for it! She was 15 and one month when she started with her permit and she couldn’t get her license in our state until she was 16 and 3 months so she had 14 months to practice and it was astonishing how much better she was just after the first one on one one-hour driving class with the instructor and besides something like 30 hours of study and tests, it included 6 hours with the instructor and the final driving test passing with the BMV…I recommend every parent find a way to do this for your child…find a reputable and well-referred school and it’s a real blessing!!
I recommend professional driver training, for many reasons.
My issue right now is that I really need a dedicated home office, instead of using the built-in desk in my kitchen. The process has to begin elsewhere in the house to create a domino effect: Declutter and organize my storage room, move things there from the space I want to make an office, then move all my office stuff out of the kitchen. Which is why it hasn't gotten done yet.
I can't get out of the domino effect no matter how hard I try. Someday . . .
Same.
I have been teaching three teens to drive in recent months. I found it helped me a lot when I joined a volunteer driving mentor programme and received training on how to be a driving mentor (not an official instructor but someone who helps the teens get the practice they need). We did a road code refresher as part of the training and I was amazed how much had changed or that I had forgotten in twenty years of driving. We also had a one hour session with a driving instructor who took us around the test route and gave us tips on teaching driving. If you do pay for your daughter to have lessons but can’t afford it full time then it could help to sit in on the driving lesson and take notes
Thanks for sharing!
Pay for an instructor that has a good passing rate of their students. We did, and it saved us all a lot of stress.
Apparently in our area to take the road test there were 2 instructors available, but you do not get to choose which one is in the car judging you for that test. One was a big guy who seemed to fail EVERYONE, EVERY TIME, and the other a skinny guy who would still fail you if you really deserved it but wouldn't for example take obnoxious amounts of points off for open-ended theoretical questions mid-drive, thus had a much higher pass rate. I actually couldn't remember which instructor at the time was the seemingly impossible one, so I was a bundle of nerves when I met him, and fumbled pretty bad on "what do you do if you're about to hit a deer" and I knew the answer was technically "slow down as much as possible and try to aim for something softer than the deer (ie not a tree or oncoming traffic)" but I think he specifically asked me "what do you try to hit instead of the deer" and my brain just bluescreened, like, there were no specific options and he didn't say to pick something on the side of the road we were on, so I just kind of went "????idk a deer is better than a tree tho????" (the answer he was looking for was an open area or bushes, apparently... I'm pretty sure the harsher instructor would have taken points off for that). Passed in one take, my cousin who got the big guy twice had to take it a third time to get the same person I had and finally pass, which ended up being pretty expensive- $45 each attempt. To do something he had been doing for years, except in a car (we lived on a farm, I think he started driving farm equipment including huge tractors at age 6, and on roads at 11-14ish, perfectly legal in our area). The guy who failed him also didn't tell him why iirc, so there was nothing he could have practically done to "improve" before his first retest. Everyone who had the big guy had issues, not just him! In hindsight with that low of a pass rate he probably should have been complained about and fired/retrained, but he was making the place money, so /shrug.
I was lucky and got out of teaching my 2 sons to drive. However my luck did don’t hold out.
My daughter, the late in life baby, didn’t want to drive until after high school. I learned you can teach old dogs (me) new tricks.
I started out by driving her to a sport complex near us where there was lots of empty parking spaces. There she got the hang of the accelerator and the brakes. We drove around, parked, backed up, etc. Then we headed out on the road. She was still nervous so I drove her to back country roads and we practiced on those. Basically it was baby steps. But she is a successful driver now.
Meditation, deep breaths and trying to remember how awkward driving feels when it was new to you will help. But mostly remember that this is an opportunity to have one on one time with your child. It’s something you both will remember for years to come. And maybe even share a laugh or two down the road. 😉
Thanks for sharing!
As the daughter of a mother with intense anxiety, give both of you the gift of Driver’s Ed! I took Driver’s Ed and it was definitely better and more thorough than what my parents would have taught me. I grew up in rural southwestern Ontario and now live in Toronto and I’m a very comfortable driver. I still recall some of the lessons from my Young Drivers classes and the in-car sessions clearly, even though it was like 20 years ago. Highly recommend making the investment!
Driver's ed is the way to go. It was part of the curriculum at my High School but has since been phased out. Why? It is an essential part of being an adult human so why exclude it from school? It would totally be worth it to pay someone else to teach your daughter to drive- it will save stress on both of you and it will probably be better because the instructor will know the rules of the road. Good luck! This is when my grey hairs starting coming in. LOL
Teaching someone to drive is stressful; it requires lots of patience and presence and being calm and non-judgemental, regardless. Practicing in parking lots and on low traffic roads and streets are helpful. Information overload is another thing to be aware of. Providing basic instruction before even starting the car is essential; where everything is, how to use it, etc. Then, slowly build on the basics after each step is conquered. This will build her confidence, and your calm. Oh yes, and positive encouragement, as well. Good luck. 😊
Teaching my daughter to drive-the most horrifying time of my life. I started carrying my rosary in my pocket every time I stepped into the car with her. I feel your pain, Cass.
Oh my gosh, teaching my son to drive was stressful. BUT it was mostly because he didnt have right peripheral vision. He had a stroke when he was 16 and lost his right peripheral on both eyes. Fortunately, he is allowed to legally drive. We bought him some additional mirrors just to be safe. I wanted to make sure he was extra safe, because he is responsible for making sure he can drive safely for himself and others - and this was all that mattered to me at that time. We would practice in the school parking lots on the weekends, and parks where nobody was so he didn't have that added pressure. He was completely off the roads where people were. I would have him park in the spots at the school, then get out so he could see what it looked like outside vs from inside the car. That way he could also gauge where he needed to be in his lanes, etc. So we would practice in these larger open areas until we both felt more comfortable, then we would go down smaller roads with hardly any traffic, and just slowly worked our way up. He was good about listening to me, and I had to remember what is was like, myself so I just prayed to be nice and gentle and understanding. It was scary at times LOL. I am so proud of him - he is 23 now and is a good driver. I think finding a safe area where they can practice helps take some of the pressure off and is easier to learn! Hope its going well! :)
Teaching Izzy to drive is gonna be a breeze Cass.. No.. Really. 1st & foremost, take her to a medical park with side streets, that is closed on the wkends. No Stress! When she follows the rules and ur not having heart failure.. take her to a less busy part of the city.. preferably a residential area. Mayb ur own neighborhood. She's gonna do fine. Go Izzy.. Go Izzy !! 😆 🤣
Cas, I’m already excited to see this video and know it will help even though I haven’t watched the whole video!!! Your voice has calmed me already! Thank you!!😊
My BEST advice for teaching a kid to drive- HUSBANDS! That’s something I definitely have my husband do, ain’t no way I can handle it. I still grip the oh crap handle and push the imaginary brake pedal when I’m in the car with my 21 yo. 😂😂
Cass, your advice has always worked for me and this is no different. I made a list of every drawer and cupboard that's been bothering me with its messiness. I picked 1 each day to do. On day 3, it was 10pm at night before I got to have a chance to work on a drawer. I thought I'll just skip today, 1 day doesn't matter, too tired, etc. Then I remembered 5 minutes matter, and I don't have to always prove that I don't stick to my goals, leading to negative thoughts. So i tidied my pj drawer 😊. It's now been 4 days, I have 4 tidy drawers, & I feel accomplished. Thx Cass 💕
Sign her up for drivers ed to learn the basics and it helps lower your insurance.
I taught my kids and nieces to drive. I find it best to drive to a very quiet area, then let them practice without fear of hitting something. You can do it ❤
It's probably Joe's job to teach her to drive 😃
I taught my niece. We started in a large parking lot of a defunct business. Then we drove around a university campus on weekends when no classes were in session; it had dual-lane boulevards, traffic signs, and pedestrian crosswalks. Then, we drove into a nearby small town with wide streets in a 10-block area; it had light traffic, lights, signs, etc. Then, we began driving in my neighborhood; wide-ish streets, more traffic, etc. Then, drove throughout the city. Then, highway driving. The last thing was parallel parking. She built up her confidence slowly and I didn't have to freak out. (But, I'm a pretty chill person.)
I hate to break it to you Cas but you are not the right person to teach your kid to drive. A kid needs a calm vibe and someone they dont know to teach them. Hire someone. 100%
Me too. I get so anxious when teaching my kid to drive because the maternal protective instinct kick in.
I remember my mom helping me learn to drive. It was so stressful. When it got to the test I did terrible on the freeway portion. Definitely recommend getting an instructor to help. Even just another adult friend.
I agree, trying to teach my kids was so stressful and I was clenching thearm rest for dear life! Hire a driving instructor to get in the practice hours and any driving school requirements.
We had drivers education when I learned how to drive. The local auto dealer leased two Chevette's to the school for the school to teach students in. It helped so much!
Personally, I wanted my mom to teach me. My mom was the calmer of the two. She was horrifically bad, screaming and jumping, I told her no way and had her take us home. My dad who was a terror in my every day life was the calm one I learned to drive under. So, if she can calm down it could work 🤣
I sent both of my kids to a driving school in a big city where their grandparents live. We live in a small town and I wanted them to learn how to drive in real traffic. The school was excellent. They are both really good drivers. My son just got his provisional and can drive on his own now. Choose the school. I think they feel less anxious and less defensive about their actions, because they had a different teacher and not mom or dad. We still instruct when in the car, but you can then see the good decisions they have learned to make. AND if their driving still causes you anxiety, sit in the back and let your husband sit in the front (especially if he is calmer.) I would sit in back and close my eyes (wearing sun glasses) so I didn't make them anxious.
Breaking up my big goals (organized kitchen) using small goals (go through one cabinet, reorganize spice cabinet, etc.) has really helped!!
I have taught 2 kids and my niece and nephews. The best thing to do is to remain calm. Find a university or college area that has plenty of parking lots and closed roads with low speed limits. This will allow them a place to drive and become familiar with stopping/braking; winding roads and how to navigate without being in a lot of traffic. We have an area like this and it has been wonderful for driver's education. Overall, just be patient and have fun.
My parents paid for Drivers Ed and that was the best route. Not only I learned how to drive, I also learned how to be safe while driving. Worth the money. I recommend it!
Thanks!