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I'm 90 seconds in and I'm already extremely impressed with your aunt for supporting her boy, and with that doctor too. Am adult getting a diagnosis, in the 90s, while being a woman, feels like the stars aligned.
I was diagnosed with ADHD a few weeks before my 71st birthday. I made an appointment with a psychologist to confirm what I had learned after watching "How to ADHD" for a few months.
I am 72 years old and I self-diagnosed with ADHD over the last 6 months. I am curious, why did you go a step further to get a formal diagnosis? This "How to ADHD" channel and Dana K White's channel have helped me enormously. I now live in a clean, tidy, clutter-free house for the first time in over 50 years and ALEXA has become my personal secretary.
@@markwalton3367 Good question. I was pretty sure of my self diagnosis. However every expert on TH-cam suggested to avoid relying on the experts on TH-cam and consult with a professional. So I made a single appointment with a pHD in the medical clinic I go to. We had a conversation, I shared some of my stories of what I thought demonstrated ADHD, she said "sounds like it to me, too." She also offered me a battery of tests to confirm the diagnosis at the cost of $5,000 if I wanted absolute confirmation. I passed on the testing. She and I couldn't both be wrong.
I’m 69 and recently diagnosed add. This TH-cam channel has me in tears a bit. This was and “is” me. I’m evolving this past year through so many thoughts on how to fix me but am starting to like me again and look forward to the future. I just binged this channel for an couple hours...lol. Very kind of you to be so open ladies...thank you
Your aunt talking about how she was unhappy as a kid despite having a loving family hit home for me. My family has always been extremely loving and supportive, but I spent a lot of my childhood feeling unhappy because I didn't fit in anywhere else. The only places I felt like I could truly be myself were at home and with my best friend.
I'm crying on my lunch break! Not getting diagnosed in childhood is traumatic. What I needed from the adults I'm my life was patience! Teachers saw my symptoms and got annoyed instead of asking follow-up questions. Getting through college without support left me burnt out until I went to counseling senior year and started an antidepressant. After a few years I suspected ADHD and went back to therapy, where I eventually was connected with a doctor to diagnose me. I'm laying all that out to possibly help others who're intimidated by the process. My cPTSD obscured my ADHD, but managing one helped the other. I wish this channel existed back then! ❤
Because of my ADHD, I’ve had countless embarrassing moments due to being distracted and add anxiety on top of that, when they both team up to you up, and making things in my life even more difficult. Having severe ADHD is a never ending cycle of frustration and it also puts my life at risk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked out of stores forgetting to pay because I got distracted, and even had the cops called on me a number of times.
@@scottandrews1757chaos triggers our dopamine. But there is an upside. Follow me through here… In my case, I chased girls like crazy, got into adventure sports, left my small town in Pennsylvania for the startup world of Silicon Valley in ‘89… I totally lived risky on the edge. I thrive in the chaos. But the chaos is also drawn to me like a magnet draws iron. So for folks like you and me, in contrast, like Hunter S Thompson said in his book, “Fear and loathing in Las Vegas“, “…when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!” When there’s a weird situation or chaos to deal with, folks like you and me are the ones to turn to. When interviewers ask if I can handle rapidly changing priorities or multitask, I just laugh. Those are the situations we purposely seek out! I can’t *not* handle the chaos. My poor normie wife, on the other hand…
One time, when I was 8, I accidentally brought a tiny utility pocket knife to school. I was interrogated the entire rest of the day, well into the night. I was a kid who couldn't hurt a fly, and it was truly an accident related to ADHD. (20+ years later, I'm still salty that I didn't get my knife back cuz I spent my hard earned money on it)
Motherhood suits you❤. When your aunt talked about her job she found that lasted for 22 years after not ever having a job that lasted for over a year, that hit home for me.
Oh my goodness, I relate to this so much! I am a late diagnosed AuDHDer who spent their entire life feeling like I was lazy and worthless, never feeling like I fit in anywhere and never staying at any job for very long. After my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I finally worked up the courage to seek an ADHD diagnosis at age 35 (and found out I was autistic too!). My diagnoses helped me to finally understand myself and I’m working on liking myself for the first time in my life ❤
"And when I put things away and I can't find them again; then I get mad!" 😂 I feel this to my core! The whole bit about her and her husband fits me and my fiancée to a T. I already love your Aunt! Thanks for sharing with us!!
My "favorite" (sarcasm) is when I clean up for people to come over, and put paperworky-things in a box, bag, or drawer, and then I ride along on my temporary feeling of "ahhh" for a few days (or weeks) before realizing I'm in trouble for not doing something that was in that little pile of paperwork. Then the frantic search begins!
Several years ago, when I was stressing about an upcoming job interview, my younger (non-ADHD) sister said, "Everyone has some kind of challenge. You don't have to tell the interviewer you have ADHD. What you can do is ask about things that you might find helpful, like would I be able to work in a relatively quiet area? Do you offer flex time or working from home at all?" And in the case where I have a job, I can ask for written instructions, a specific deadline, the use of an empty office from time to time, etc. I also discovered that I could say something weird (unintentionally) in an interview and still get the job. I once interviewed for a reporter's job at a very small local newspaper. I had been laid off from the main newspaper in my state because, after budget cutbacks following the acquisition of that paper by a huge publishing conglomerate... basically, most of the reporters over 40 were laid off and then had the option of continuing as a contract worker, which meant no sick days, no health insurance, no paid vacation and no retirement fund. This new job included all of the above. In the interview, I was asked what my long-term plans were. Not understanding the question (and not thinking to ask for clarification), and blurting the first thing that came to mind, I said, "I guess I will continue to work here until I am offered a real job." I also interrupted her at one point to ask her to straighten the picture hanging behind her because it was making it difficult for me to pay attention. 😮 Guess what? I still got the job. Newspaper work can be a good fit for folks with ADHD. Variety. You're out of the office a lot and learn new stuff every day. I did it, and a couple of other writing jobs, for more than 30 years! And I was very good, which is why I kept getting hired. Deadlines and noisy work areas were challenging, but I created strategies for dealing with that. So, as her aunt figured out, everyone is "different." The trick is to find or create your own best space, whether it's a job, a relationship, a living space, or other parts of your life.
Am in the UK and 13 years into an autism diagnosis (was dxd in my 40s) and now waiting to get the ADHD diagnosed. We’re in the dark ages here as far as adult diagnosis is concerned. Your Aunt is a superstar!
I'm in the reverse boat to you. Diagnosed ADD and waiting on the other, though I do have a working second diagnosis that's helped answer some questions. I also have a birth defect in my brain that was the first brain-related thing I was ever diagnosed with, that may have caused the other two, or might just be concurrent with them.
Getting diagnosed as an adult is hard there! Try getting your referral moved to PyschUK, they do online meetings and specialise in diagnosing adults. Speeds up the waiting lists to a few months, instead of years of getting pushed behind every kid cuz kids get priority among other specialists.
Thank you for interviewing your aunt. This video was so relatable to me. I'm a female, 58 years young. I'm retiring in a few years with a recent diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. Back in 1971, I was diagnosed with a learning disability; Auditory Processing Disorder. I had loving/caring parents who put me into gymnastics/dance classes to which helped me with the struggles of learning in school. Her struggles and successes were a good reminder that I'm not alone, even at an older age.
I want smart glass to be affordable enough that I can see everything behind glass-front cabinets and drawers, but flip a switch to instantly hide it all when visitors come! 🙏
This made me tear up. I’m the first in my family to get diagnosed at age 29 (AuDHD, so a twofer) and it’s very lonely, so it’s incredibly sweet to see Jessica have this shared, supportive, intergenerational experience with her aunt.
Was also the first person diagnosed in my family! Age 30 for ADHD and 31 for Autism. Its incredible to watch people talk about being diagnosed even later in life, and connecting across generations.
@HowToADHD I LOVE THIS- seeing you with your Aunt Susie (Suz to me)- the genuine love and respect you have for each other. Great questions, great answers- so heartfelt. I was one of the original CLADDies (Cleaning Ladies with ADD) and we probably were the first ADD coaching group and an early support group, too, and on AOL! So long ago. Thanks for mentioning me and my work. Now send me some baby pix! xoxo
That was a cool interview with your aunt. I got diagnosed with ADD in my early 40's too (now I'm almost 55). One strategy that has helped me the most is setting alarms, especially, "leave for __" (insert where I need to go).
This is beautiful. I was only diagnosed last year (I'm 37) and your channel and book have been so helpful in understanding what the heck is going on in my head. It's been difficult and slow to untangle the feelings of guilt and self-loathing, of feeling lazy and unmotivated, but the more I learn and the more stories I hear from other ADHDers helps a lot. Thank-you for making ADHD more relatable, and thank-you to your aunt for adding her story to that growing plethora of healing testimonials!
Everything her Aunt talked about struck home with me. I was diagnosed as "Hyperactive" at 8 years old in 1961 by the only child psychologist in the US Army at Walter Reed hospital. The term ADHD was not invented to much later. The only medication available at the time was Dexidrine, which is a pure amphetamine. The doctors told us that the problems I was having would disappear by the time I went through puberty and that was true - for the HD part. So at about 14, I was off the Dexidrine and thought no more about it. I continued to struggle through life with the AD part, not knowing that like 60 % of ADHD patients I still had ADHD. It wasn't until I was 51 that I was re-diagnosed. I discovered I could not take any of the medications available because they aggravate my heart arrhythmia. Knowing what I had allowed me to fix my self image and organize my life to cope. My only regret is the years I struggled without knowing why. Like her Aunt, I am now at peace with myself.
If I had a dollar for every time, my mom told me “you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached”, I would be in a much better financial situation right now. It doesn’t matter how important something is or how insignificant, they can both be forgotten just the same.
Turns out, being different isn't just okay-it's downright amazing! 00:00 - The ADHD adventure begins with Aunt Susie! 01:05 - Diagnosed by surprise: "Riddlin for two, please!" 03:14 - School struggles: "I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached." 04:19 - Medication magic: From job-hopping to a 22-year career. 05:36 - The AOL support group: ADHD moms unite online! 08:56 - Compromise central: One tidy house, one messy room. 10:52 - ADHD: Real, not a fad! Live with us for a week. 18:17 - Magic button: "No thanks, I like who I am."
Loved this! Thank you. Your aunt is terrific. I got diagnosed at 40, but didn’t know what to do. I had a really interesting, flexible job. When it ended, I struggled. Now that I’m retired life is way better.
Oh my goodness! I love y'alls kindredness so much! You are so cute together! Cute like endearing not like little girls with pink bows because obviously you're far beyond that. I'm in tears! Your aunt telling her story could have been me sitting there just as well. It's so much like my story.
I'm 38 and newly diagnosed as inattentive ADHD. Hearing your aunt's story gives me hope as I peel back the layers of masking. I have your book, but am procrastinating... Great video, and thank you!
We have an audiobook version as well if that helps break the ice of starting the book at all (though unfortunately that would mean... buying it again... AHHHHHHHH). But in the end
Your Aunt Susie seems like such a sweetheart! Please pass along her thanks for sharing her experience. ❤ I was wondering if you heard of the TH-cam channel Clutterbug? The woman who runs that channel has ADHD and she has several videos that discuss ADHD-friendly cleaning and organization strategies. Several of them have been very helpful to me and made my home much less stressful!
Yeah! We've definitely heard of them! We love the fact there are other people out there helping with the clutter situation and understand what it's like having adhd on top of it all.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at age of 33. And I have say, your channel helped me greatly to learn about ADHD and my condition. It would have been way harder to learn without your videos. Thank you and please keep up the great work.
Thank you Jessica and your aunt - you might not know how important this episode means to us! Really appreciate all your efforts put into here. All the best!
This video gives me so much hope. I am an adult currently struggling a lot with adhd, and I often hate my adhd and if I'm being honest, hate myself for having it. But watching this makes me think that it wont always be like this. Maybe someday I can find acceptance towards myself and adhd and I can learn that part of myself and not simply view it as a burden. Everything your aunt she struggled with as an adult I am currently struggling with. Maybe with some help and acceptance I can make the most put of it.
When I was 26, a coworker said to me "people like us" and I wasn't sure what he meant, so I asked and he said people with ADD. I opened my mouth to say that I didn't have ADD, but my brain went click click click through my whole life thus far, and said to me---"I have ADD!" suddenly my whole school life made sense. This was in 1998. Luckily I was heavily involved in sports in high school and the moving from class to class and choosing which classes to take helped me thrive in high school after struggling through the first 8 years of school.
Was told at a previous job not to talk about ADHD. I said "how the hell are people supposed to get a diagnosis if they're not told about ADHD?!" so yeah they didn't want people to get diagnosed because they'd have to do reasonable adjustments. They didn't want to.
I cried a few times through this. What a lovely discussion. So much inspiration and great techniques!! Your Aunt is such a lovely person, full of great advice!!!
Really good discussion! I love hearing wisdom from those who have done life and faced the same challenges for longer than me. Susie seems like a pretty awesome person. I laughed so much when she explained her travel lists. I figured out that strategy for myself- literally the exact same strategy- but using an app on the phone. I make the list at least a week in advance, I check off each item as I pack to go somewhere, and I uncheck each item as I repack for the return. Nice thing about the phone app is I can reuse the list for similar trips in the future. Speaking of which, that reminds me to plan for some upcoming trips that don't have lists...
It’s great to see an older person in an ADHD video. I’m older (60) and just got my official diagnosis this year. I’ve been suspicious since I saw Dr. Hallowell on Katie Curic, and this channel’s videos had me 99% convinced that I have ADHD. So I owe Auntie a heartfelt thank you as well. 🙏🏻 I like seeing older people discussing the issues that they’ve had with our shared diagnosis. It gives me that “I feel seen” sensation. 😊
When I was a child, my parents thought for a while that I was on the spectrum. Neither they nor I got much help from doctors because I was a boy and my ADHD didn’t present like they expected it to in boys, I.e. no hyperactivity, just inattention, shyness, difficulty remembering assignments, turning them in, being glued to books, etc. The consensus was that I was smart but disabled or dysfunctional. I got diagnosed with ADHD-I at 17 but even then the feedback I got was “well, you can’t do that much about it” so I concluded it must not be that big of an issue, and I told myself that if I was a worthwhile human being I would push past it. That just led to a lot of negative self image when I failed. Now I’m in my 30’s and considering what to do about my career, and I’m trying to take my condition into account, but sometimes I wish I had understood what I had earlier so I could have addressed it sooner.
so many of my strategies i use now are from observing my father and how he handled things. Being able to think on our feet and deal with high stress situations has to be some of our greatest perks for ADHD great video Jess and the team
I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago, aged 68. I worked out I must have ADHD about 2 years ago when I realised that the autism diagnosis I got 3 years before didn't explain everything.
Hi Jessica, thanks for posting this. This is really encouraging for me, I'm becoming more and more an advocate for neurdivergent people and advocating for myself. What your Aunt said about being stupid and lazy was a big thing that has held me back, only in the last 3 yrs I've started accepting myself more and am thriving, slowly but I'm getting their. Also definitely going to get a re diagnose. Becoming more spontaneous, and more creative like I used to be when i was younger. I've found my people currently with the group I work with, they accept me for who I am and enjoy being with them. 😊 So relatable.
Hey Thank you for doing this, I just offically got Diagnosed for ADHD, and got some trial meds from 2 different brands, well the first one I tried was amazing, I stayed on task, and my co-workers/manager definitely noticed a difference, and I noticed a difference in a few things. Thank you so much for helping me find more signs in me when my ADHD was undiagnosed, I appreciate it, and I'm ready to learn more about myself with and without the meds!
Wow! First - please tell your Aunt how much I appreciate her interview! 2nd - your Aunt could be ME! I've been diagnosed and I'm accepting to my ADHD, but everything she said, is as if I were sitting there talking to you. Almost verbatim! She's such a delight!
I’m finding this 3 months later and absolutely adore your aunt! She reminds me so much of my aunt who also made and decorated cakes for years. It would be amazing if you speak with Aunt Susie and co in future videos! People from older generations that also have ADHD are so insightful and we have so much to learn from them.
Diagnosed last year at 59 years old and, of course, wonder how much pain I could've avoided if I was diagnosed earlier. Although, back in the day, they really didn't have a name for it. Thank you Jessica for your channel and book and the information that you bring to so many! 🧠✨
My mother must have realised that she had a rather busy child, so she taught me many coping mechanisms. I would have been diagnosed with IADD but it wasn't a thing in the 60's. I use lots of lists and online reminders(alarms) to keep my days functional, which my non-ADHD friends and colleagues have asked to share my methods with them. My house is also setup in the same way for over 35 years. I do not even move furniture. I discovered the FlyLady many years ago, which helped me set up better routines + videos from this channel and many others have given me even more ideas to streamline my processes. and yes, decluttering helps to reduce stress. I had to smile when your aunt said that she was told that she would lose her head if it wasn't screwed on, because my stepmom told me the same.
Recently, my adhd has become a big challenge. I’ve been struggling to get myself to do anything even with medication and this video had been super helpful. I don’t feel quite as alone ❤
Aunt Susie and Jessica, I just want to say thank you for this video. I'm still in the middle of it but the both of you are so insightful and so open, and it's so inspiring. Thank you so much.
I wish there were more Like buttons because I tried hitting it at least 7 times throughout the video. So touched by how wholesome it was. Much respect for your aunt. Thank you both! ❤️
My grandma has adhd and was never diagnosed, but she was told that she wasnt "college material", so she did the housewife thing. My mom had it, was diagnosed in her 40s but never treated it, and it caused big issues. I was the boy, so i was auto-diagnosed when i was 7 during the 90s. It was through my lifelong diagnosis that i realized its carried in both males and females, not just the long held idea that just boys are adhd. Life is a trip.
I love your aunt Susie! I want to be more like her. I’m close to 44 and I sure hope that self-acceptance and not needing to please anymore clicks in for me soon! I’ve made a lot of progress, but still struggle with perfectionism and thinking I’m lazy. And just dealing with what’s normal aging is frustrating because I used to be able to mask my ADHD because I could think quickly on my feet and had a pretty good, almost photographic memory. After 40, those things aren’t as reliable as they used to be. I feel I’ve lost some of my super powers and as I’ve added more and more areas of responsibility and life has become more complicated and there’s much less external structure, I’ve struggled more and more with each passing year. I used to be so much more organized and now I struggle to keep up with appointments and projects no matter what technology and productivity solutions I try! I feel like I’ll never meet any of my goals and expectations because I can’t follow through with anything! I’ve also got anxiety and depression, so those don’t help.
We finally got to meet the Cool Aunt you've mentioned in other videos!! Feels like we've unlocked Jessica Lore! Hearing your Aunt's experience and perspective is amazing, gives me hope for the future, thank you
This made me cry (in a good way.) My parents were not wonderful people. They were cruel and abusive, and even though therapy has helped a lot, I've always had this thought in the back of my mind that if I had felt loved and safe, I'd have had a happy childhood. Hearing that someone who was loved and safe was still unhappy and struggled with being undiagnosed was so validating in a way I can't begin to articulate. Thank you for this discussion. ❤
This was amazing! My husband also has OCD (with ADHD) and I have ADHD. Somehow we just work. I don't think I could be with someone who didn't have mental health struggles. The way well-meaning people brush off depression like it isn't a big deal is maddening.
Oii! Bom dia! Gostei muito do vídeo com sua Tia e saber como ela tem lidado com o TDAH a tantos anos. Meu diagnóstico foi aos 36. Sou do Brasil 🇧🇷 e cheguei até o seu canal pela indicação no livro que estou lendo do Russel Barkley.
This video was one of the most important contents I have ever seen. I don't know if you know how powerful it is to watch this dialogue portraying ancestral healing right before our very eyes, because ADHD or not the healing of ancestral themes is a reality for everyone. Thank you so much ❤
I was just looking back through your video catalog this morning bc my struggle with self worth and feeling resistance to doing literally *any* self time management/planning has come to a point where it's actively harming my life and ability to find a new job after a year-long battle with cancer. Your videos are kind, like a warm hug to my inner child saying that even with my complex trauma and how my brain works that I am not beyond hope for a happy, meaningful future, that there are different tools I can try and I dont have to "get it" all at once. I'm not okay right now, but I'm not giving up on myself. Thank you 💜
I'm 45 and dating a gentleman with adhd. He was diagnosed as a kid. I was only diagnosed a few years ago (the school wanted me tested as a kid, but my mom didn't want me to be "labeled". So instead I struggled between people thinking I was a genius 1/2 the time and had a broken brain the other 1/2 the time and not knowing why simple things were so hard for me, so I'd try harder. My anxiety was through the roof when I was finally diagnosed). Anyway, it's so wonderful to dating someone who gets it. I'm sure it's a riot to watch us leave the house and each take at least one turn remembering something last minute and then while waiting for him to go get whatever, I remember something I'd wanted to bring too.
I LOL!!! so loudly when Aunt Susie mimicked her husband’s sigh when he does see inside her tv room…I’m in the same situational marriage plus I didn’t get married till 36 so transitioning to living with someone after being on my own from 21 to 34 was an adjustment. 🤷🏻♀️
This made me smile and cry at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with AD(H)D. I am struggling with ADHD my whole life. I got my diagnosis at the age of 38. Currently everything seems to become increasingly hard for me. But your perspective is giving me hope.
Oh, the struggles of feeling lazy and stupid. All the memories. I am so thankful to both Jessica (she made me realize I had ADHD) and Ms. Suzie for getting her son checked out. Those decisions have changed the world for the better.
Oh wow. 😊 thank you so much for having made this video. I am just diagnosed as an adult with adhd but have a grown son who was diagnosed when he was young. I love her attitude on life now.
Thank you, and please say a big thank you and give a big hug to aunt Suzie. This was fantastic. I’m currently 60 and my ADD is off the charts and my sister who just recently passed away was in her 90s and was undiagnosed and while reading one of her early report cards from back in the 50s, I could see that she was identical to me. Very smart, very creative, very willing to help others… But poor penmanship and couldn’t focus on her own work. Thanks Aunt Suzie!
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"I like myself now, and I expect other people to like me as well" is such an inspiring and beautiful sentiment
It's powerful!! I think I'll adopt it and add, "... And if they don't, that's ok too, because I still like me."
@@plantyfan Yes! I love that ♥️ Reminds me of the vine of the little girl saying “I don’t care if you don’t like me, I love me!” and winking
@@fullshewolf I'm going to have to go find it! Sounds adorable 🥰
Yes! I loved that part.
I love when she said that. It was beautiful and that message was powerful
I'm 90 seconds in and I'm already extremely impressed with your aunt for supporting her boy, and with that doctor too. Am adult getting a diagnosis, in the 90s, while being a woman, feels like the stars aligned.
For real!
I was diagnosed with ADHD a few weeks before my 71st birthday. I made an appointment with a psychologist to confirm what I had learned after watching "How to ADHD" for a few months.
Better late than never!
I'm very interested in learning how your life changed after the diagnosis!
That's awesome!!
I am 72 years old and I self-diagnosed with ADHD over the last 6 months. I am curious, why did you go a step further to get a formal diagnosis? This "How to ADHD" channel and Dana K White's channel have helped me enormously. I now live in a clean, tidy, clutter-free house for the first time in over 50 years and ALEXA has become my personal secretary.
@@markwalton3367 Good question. I was pretty sure of my self diagnosis. However every expert on TH-cam suggested to avoid relying on the experts on TH-cam and consult with a professional. So I made a single appointment with a pHD in the medical clinic I go to. We had a conversation, I shared some of my stories of what I thought demonstrated ADHD, she said "sounds like it to me, too." She also offered me a battery of tests to confirm the diagnosis at the cost of $5,000 if I wanted absolute confirmation. I passed on the testing. She and I couldn't both be wrong.
I’m 69 and recently diagnosed add. This TH-cam channel has me in tears a bit. This was and “is” me. I’m evolving this past year through so many thoughts on how to fix me but am starting to like me again and look forward to the future. I just binged this channel for an couple hours...lol. Very kind of you to be so open ladies...thank you
Your aunt talking about how she was unhappy as a kid despite having a loving family hit home for me. My family has always been extremely loving and supportive, but I spent a lot of my childhood feeling unhappy because I didn't fit in anywhere else. The only places I felt like I could truly be myself were at home and with my best friend.
I'm crying on my lunch break!
Not getting diagnosed in childhood is traumatic. What I needed from the adults I'm my life was patience! Teachers saw my symptoms and got annoyed instead of asking follow-up questions. Getting through college without support left me burnt out until I went to counseling senior year and started an antidepressant. After a few years I suspected ADHD and went back to therapy, where I eventually was connected with a doctor to diagnose me.
I'm laying all that out to possibly help others who're intimidated by the process. My cPTSD obscured my ADHD, but managing one helped the other. I wish this channel existed back then! ❤
This is a real adhd discussion
Because of my ADHD, I’ve had countless embarrassing moments due to being distracted and add anxiety on top of that, when they both team up to you up, and making things in my life even more difficult. Having severe ADHD is a never ending cycle of frustration and it also puts my life at risk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked out of stores forgetting to pay because I got distracted, and even had the cops called on me a number of times.
Fickle attention and fleeting memory can be such a brutal combo. I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with it.
I'm adhd also and unfortunately I've kinda become addicted to chaos lol..
@@scottandrews1757chaos triggers our dopamine. But there is an upside. Follow me through here…
In my case, I chased girls like crazy, got into adventure sports, left my small town in Pennsylvania for the startup world of Silicon Valley in ‘89… I totally lived risky on the edge.
I thrive in the chaos. But the chaos is also drawn to me like a magnet draws iron.
So for folks like you and me, in contrast, like Hunter S Thompson said in his book, “Fear and loathing in Las Vegas“, “…when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!”
When there’s a weird situation or chaos to deal with, folks like you and me are the ones to turn to. When interviewers ask if I can handle rapidly changing priorities or multitask, I just laugh. Those are the situations we purposely seek out! I can’t *not* handle the chaos.
My poor normie wife, on the other hand…
One time, when I was 8, I accidentally brought a tiny utility pocket knife to school. I was interrogated the entire rest of the day, well into the night. I was a kid who couldn't hurt a fly, and it was truly an accident related to ADHD. (20+ years later, I'm still salty that I didn't get my knife back cuz I spent my hard earned money on it)
Motherhood suits you❤.
When your aunt talked about her job she found that lasted for 22 years after not ever having a job that lasted for over a year, that hit home for me.
How did you end up finding something that lasts? Asking for a friend 😅
Oh my goodness, I relate to this so much! I am a late diagnosed AuDHDer who spent their entire life feeling like I was lazy and worthless, never feeling like I fit in anywhere and never staying at any job for very long. After my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I finally worked up the courage to seek an ADHD diagnosis at age 35 (and found out I was autistic too!). My diagnoses helped me to finally understand myself and I’m working on liking myself for the first time in my life ❤
"And when I put things away and I can't find them again; then I get mad!" 😂 I feel this to my core! The whole bit about her and her husband fits me and my fiancée to a T.
I already love your Aunt! Thanks for sharing with us!!
My "favorite" (sarcasm) is when I clean up for people to come over, and put paperworky-things in a box, bag, or drawer, and then I ride along on my temporary feeling of "ahhh" for a few days (or weeks) before realizing I'm in trouble for not doing something that was in that little pile of paperwork. Then the frantic search begins!
Several years ago, when I was stressing about an upcoming job interview, my younger (non-ADHD) sister said, "Everyone has some kind of challenge. You don't have to tell the interviewer you have ADHD. What you can do is ask about things that you might find helpful, like would I be able to work in a relatively quiet area? Do you offer flex time or working from home at all?" And in the case where I have a job, I can ask for written instructions, a specific deadline, the use of an empty office from time to time, etc. I also discovered that I could say something weird (unintentionally) in an interview and still get the job. I once interviewed for a reporter's job at a very small local newspaper. I had been laid off from the main newspaper in my state because, after budget cutbacks following the acquisition of that paper by a huge publishing conglomerate... basically, most of the reporters over 40 were laid off and then had the option of continuing as a contract worker, which meant no sick days, no health insurance, no paid vacation and no retirement fund. This new job included all of the above. In the interview, I was asked what my long-term plans were. Not understanding the question (and not thinking to ask for clarification), and blurting the first thing that came to mind, I said, "I guess I will continue to work here until I am offered a real job." I also interrupted her at one point to ask her to straighten the picture hanging behind her because it was making it difficult for me to pay attention. 😮 Guess what? I still got the job. Newspaper work can be a good fit for folks with ADHD. Variety. You're out of the office a lot and learn new stuff every day. I did it, and a couple of other writing jobs, for more than 30 years! And I was very good, which is why I kept getting hired. Deadlines and noisy work areas were challenging, but I created strategies for dealing with that. So, as her aunt figured out, everyone is "different." The trick is to find or create your own best space, whether it's a job, a relationship, a living space, or other parts of your life.
Am in the UK and 13 years into an autism diagnosis (was dxd in my 40s) and now waiting to get the ADHD diagnosed. We’re in the dark ages here as far as adult diagnosis is concerned. Your Aunt is a superstar!
I'm in the reverse boat to you. Diagnosed ADD and waiting on the other, though I do have a working second diagnosis that's helped answer some questions. I also have a birth defect in my brain that was the first brain-related thing I was ever diagnosed with, that may have caused the other two, or might just be concurrent with them.
Getting diagnosed as an adult is hard there! Try getting your referral moved to PyschUK, they do online meetings and specialise in diagnosing adults. Speeds up the waiting lists to a few months, instead of years of getting pushed behind every kid cuz kids get priority among other specialists.
Thank you for interviewing your aunt. This video was so relatable to me. I'm a female, 58 years young. I'm retiring in a few years with a recent diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. Back in 1971, I was diagnosed with a learning disability; Auditory Processing Disorder. I had loving/caring parents who put me into gymnastics/dance classes to which helped me with the struggles of learning in school. Her struggles and successes were a good reminder that I'm not alone, even at an older age.
It's nice to hear from an older person. I'm 67 and just in the process of getting diagnosed, having failed to adjust to retirement!
Hi Amanda! I just got diagnosed (March) and started meds (1st week) - I’m 60. 🙋🏻♀️
I want smart glass to be affordable enough that I can see everything behind glass-front cabinets and drawers, but flip a switch to instantly hide it all when visitors come! 🙏
I have wobbly glass cabinets and it's just enough visibility that I can see stuff without it looking cluttered. Next best thing!
What is this magic glass you speak of? I need it!
This made me tear up. I’m the first in my family to get diagnosed at age 29 (AuDHD, so a twofer) and it’s very lonely, so it’s incredibly sweet to see Jessica have this shared, supportive, intergenerational experience with her aunt.
Was also the first person diagnosed in my family! Age 30 for ADHD and 31 for Autism. Its incredible to watch people talk about being diagnosed even later in life, and connecting across generations.
@HowToADHD I LOVE THIS- seeing you with your Aunt Susie (Suz to me)- the genuine love and respect you have for each other. Great questions, great answers- so heartfelt. I was one of the original CLADDies (Cleaning Ladies with ADD) and we probably were the first ADD coaching group and an early support group, too, and on AOL! So long ago.
Thanks for mentioning me and my work. Now send me some baby pix! xoxo
That was a cool interview with your aunt. I got diagnosed with ADD in my early 40's too (now I'm almost 55). One strategy that has helped me the most is setting alarms, especially, "leave for __" (insert where I need to go).
I'm 53 and this is so relatable.
I'm 54 and have just figured out that I have ADHD (undiagnosed so far).
Alarms are my best friend.
Age 59, diagnosed at 57... expected it since 1990-something.
So good to have you back Jessica!
We're so happy to have her back too ehehe
This is beautiful. I was only diagnosed last year (I'm 37) and your channel and book have been so helpful in understanding what the heck is going on in my head. It's been difficult and slow to untangle the feelings of guilt and self-loathing, of feeling lazy and unmotivated, but the more I learn and the more stories I hear from other ADHDers helps a lot. Thank-you for making ADHD more relatable, and thank-you to your aunt for adding her story to that growing plethora of healing testimonials!
My husband is also severe OCD. One of my twin sons and I are severe ADHD. This hit home
Everything her Aunt talked about struck home with me. I was diagnosed as "Hyperactive" at 8 years old in 1961 by the only child psychologist in the US Army at Walter Reed hospital. The term ADHD was not invented to much later. The only medication available at the time was Dexidrine, which is a pure amphetamine. The doctors told us that the problems I was having would disappear by the time I went through puberty and that was true - for the HD part. So at about 14, I was off the Dexidrine and thought no more about it. I continued to struggle through life with the AD part, not knowing that like 60 % of ADHD patients I still had ADHD. It wasn't until I was 51 that I was re-diagnosed. I discovered I could not take any of the medications available because they aggravate my heart arrhythmia. Knowing what I had allowed me to fix my self image and organize my life to cope.
My only regret is the years I struggled without knowing why. Like her Aunt, I am now at peace with myself.
If I had a dollar for every time, my mom told me “you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached”, I would be in a much better financial situation right now. It doesn’t matter how important something is or how insignificant, they can both be forgotten just the same.
Turns out, being different isn't just okay-it's downright amazing!
00:00 - The ADHD adventure begins with Aunt Susie!
01:05 - Diagnosed by surprise: "Riddlin for two, please!"
03:14 - School struggles: "I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached."
04:19 - Medication magic: From job-hopping to a 22-year career.
05:36 - The AOL support group: ADHD moms unite online!
08:56 - Compromise central: One tidy house, one messy room.
10:52 - ADHD: Real, not a fad! Live with us for a week.
18:17 - Magic button: "No thanks, I like who I am."
Loved this! Thank you. Your aunt is terrific. I got diagnosed at 40, but didn’t know what to do. I had a really interesting, flexible job. When it ended, I struggled. Now that I’m retired life is way better.
Oh my goodness! I love y'alls kindredness so much! You are so cute together! Cute like endearing not like little girls with pink bows because obviously you're far beyond that.
I'm in tears! Your aunt telling her story could have been me sitting there just as well. It's so much like my story.
I'm 38 and newly diagnosed as inattentive ADHD. Hearing your aunt's story gives me hope as I peel back the layers of masking. I have your book, but am procrastinating... Great video, and thank you!
We have an audiobook version as well if that helps break the ice of starting the book at all (though unfortunately that would mean... buying it again... AHHHHHHHH). But in the end
Thank you so much for sharing this conversation with your Aunt. It is so meaningful to hear our ADHD Elders' experiences. Please tell her thank you!!!
Your Aunt Susie seems like such a sweetheart! Please pass along her thanks for sharing her experience. ❤
I was wondering if you heard of the TH-cam channel Clutterbug? The woman who runs that channel has ADHD and she has several videos that discuss ADHD-friendly cleaning and organization strategies. Several of them have been very helpful to me and made my home much less stressful!
Yeah! We've definitely heard of them! We love the fact there are other people out there helping with the clutter situation and understand what it's like having adhd on top of it all.
What a lovely interview. It can't have been easy for your aunt to get on camera like that... Thank you both for that wonderful moment ❤
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at age of 33. And I have say, your channel helped me greatly to learn about ADHD and my condition.
It would have been way harder to learn without your videos.
Thank you and please keep up the great work.
Thank you Jessica and your aunt - you might not know how important this episode means to us!
Really appreciate all your efforts put into here. All the best!
I love how quickly she said "no" when you asked if she could take away her ADD :) Its not easy but Loving who you are is the way to go!
omg aunt susie made me cry PLEASE HAVE HER BACK
Incredibly powerful to see an intergenerational conversation like this. So grateful for your aunt to be willing to be in a video.
This video gives me so much hope. I am an adult currently struggling a lot with adhd, and I often hate my adhd and if I'm being honest, hate myself for having it. But watching this makes me think that it wont always be like this. Maybe someday I can find acceptance towards myself and adhd and I can learn that part of myself and not simply view it as a burden. Everything your aunt she struggled with as an adult I am currently struggling with. Maybe with some help and acceptance I can make the most put of it.
When I was 26, a coworker said to me "people like us" and I wasn't sure what he meant, so I asked and he said people with ADD. I opened my mouth to say that I didn't have ADD, but my brain went click click click through my whole life thus far, and said to me---"I have ADD!" suddenly my whole school life made sense. This was in 1998. Luckily I was heavily involved in sports in high school and the moving from class to class and choosing which classes to take helped me thrive in high school after struggling through the first 8 years of school.
Was told at a previous job not to talk about ADHD. I said "how the hell are people supposed to get a diagnosis if they're not told about ADHD?!" so yeah they didn't want people to get diagnosed because they'd have to do reasonable adjustments. They didn't want to.
Hello, Brains and the Master Brain!!! 🧠
Hello!
I cried a few times through this. What a lovely discussion. So much inspiration and great techniques!! Your Aunt is such a lovely person, full of great advice!!!
Love the checklist tip to have it for packing and for re packing to coming home too!
Really good discussion! I love hearing wisdom from those who have done life and faced the same challenges for longer than me. Susie seems like a pretty awesome person. I laughed so much when she explained her travel lists. I figured out that strategy for myself- literally the exact same strategy- but using an app on the phone. I make the list at least a week in advance, I check off each item as I pack to go somewhere, and I uncheck each item as I repack for the return. Nice thing about the phone app is I can reuse the list for similar trips in the future.
Speaking of which, that reminds me to plan for some upcoming trips that don't have lists...
It’s great to see an older person in an ADHD video. I’m older (60) and just got my official diagnosis this year. I’ve been suspicious since I saw Dr. Hallowell on Katie Curic, and this channel’s videos had me 99% convinced that I have ADHD. So I owe Auntie a heartfelt thank you as well. 🙏🏻
I like seeing older people discussing the issues that they’ve had with our shared diagnosis. It gives me that “I feel seen” sensation. 😊
When I was a child, my parents thought for a while that I was on the spectrum. Neither they nor I got much help from doctors because I was a boy and my ADHD didn’t present like they expected it to in boys, I.e. no hyperactivity, just inattention, shyness, difficulty remembering assignments, turning them in, being glued to books, etc. The consensus was that I was smart but disabled or dysfunctional. I got diagnosed with ADHD-I at 17 but even then the feedback I got was “well, you can’t do that much about it” so I concluded it must not be that big of an issue, and I told myself that if I was a worthwhile human being I would push past it. That just led to a lot of negative self image when I failed. Now I’m in my 30’s and considering what to do about my career, and I’m trying to take my condition into account, but sometimes I wish I had understood what I had earlier so I could have addressed it sooner.
And i have alarms for everything like your aunt!!
so many of my strategies i use now are from observing my father and how he handled things. Being able to think on our feet and deal with high stress situations has to be some of our greatest perks for ADHD great video Jess and the team
I cried with this video. Thank you, and thanks Aunt Susie.
I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago, aged 68. I worked out I must have ADHD about 2 years ago when I realised that the autism diagnosis I got 3 years before didn't explain everything.
Hi Jessica, thanks for posting this. This is really encouraging for me, I'm becoming more and more an advocate for neurdivergent people and advocating for myself. What your Aunt said about being stupid and lazy was a big thing that has held me back, only in the last 3 yrs I've started accepting myself more and am thriving, slowly but I'm getting their. Also definitely going to get a re diagnose.
Becoming more spontaneous, and more creative like I used to be when i was younger.
I've found my people currently with the group I work with, they accept me for who I am and enjoy being with them. 😊
So relatable.
Hey Thank you for doing this, I just offically got Diagnosed for ADHD, and got some trial meds from 2 different brands, well the first one I tried was amazing, I stayed on task, and my co-workers/manager definitely noticed a difference, and I noticed a difference in a few things. Thank you so much for helping me find more signs in me when my ADHD was undiagnosed, I appreciate it, and I'm ready to learn more about myself with and without the meds!
Thank you Jessica and Aunt Susie!!! It's always wonderful to see people on the other side of all the changes that come with a late diagnosis! 😁
Wow! First - please tell your Aunt how much I appreciate her interview! 2nd - your Aunt could be ME! I've been diagnosed and I'm accepting to my ADHD, but everything she said, is as if I were sitting there talking to you. Almost verbatim! She's such a delight!
Thank you Jessica for sharing your story and your book about ADHD, and brave of your aunt Susie for sharing her experiences with ADHD.
I’m finding this 3 months later and absolutely adore your aunt! She reminds me so much of my aunt who also made and decorated cakes for years. It would be amazing if you speak with Aunt Susie and co in future videos! People from older generations that also have ADHD are so insightful and we have so much to learn from them.
Diagnosed last year at 59 years old and, of course, wonder how much pain I could've avoided if I was diagnosed earlier. Although, back in the day, they really didn't have a name for it. Thank you Jessica for your channel and book and the information that you bring to so many! 🧠✨
I enjoyed the video! Your conversation with your auntie touched my heart. 💐 Please invite her more often. ❤️ Congratulations! 🎉👏
I have alarms for everything too!
This is INCREDIBLE!! Thank you for sharing your experience!!
I got a tear in my eye when you AND your aunt said "Bye Brains!"
So kind of your aunt to open up and share with us - she reminded me so much of my elder sister - love, love, love!
My mother must have realised that she had a rather busy child, so she taught me many coping mechanisms. I would have been diagnosed with IADD but it wasn't a thing in the 60's. I use lots of lists and online reminders(alarms) to keep my days functional, which my non-ADHD friends and colleagues have asked to share my methods with them. My house is also setup in the same way for over 35 years. I do not even move furniture. I discovered the FlyLady many years ago, which helped me set up better routines + videos from this channel and many others have given me even more ideas to streamline my processes. and yes, decluttering helps to reduce stress. I had to smile when your aunt said that she was told that she would lose her head if it wasn't screwed on, because my stepmom told me the same.
Recently, my adhd has become a big challenge. I’ve been struggling to get myself to do anything even with medication and this video had been super helpful. I don’t feel quite as alone ❤
I love this! The peer support, and also social history in terms of women’s experience and support for each other. Thanks for doing this interview
Aunt Susie and Jessica, I just want to say thank you for this video. I'm still in the middle of it but the both of you are so insightful and so open, and it's so inspiring. Thank you so much.
Such an awesome concept! Your aunt is a peach. Amazing to hear this side of the story.
I wish there were more Like buttons because I tried hitting it at least 7 times throughout the video.
So touched by how wholesome it was.
Much respect for your aunt.
Thank you both! ❤️
My grandma has adhd and was never diagnosed, but she was told that she wasnt "college material", so she did the housewife thing. My mom had it, was diagnosed in her 40s but never treated it, and it caused big issues. I was the boy, so i was auto-diagnosed when i was 7 during the 90s. It was through my lifelong diagnosis that i realized its carried in both males and females, not just the long held idea that just boys are adhd. Life is a trip.
Your aunt is amazing! So glad she shared her experiencea
Thank you to you and your aunt!
I love your aunt Susie! I want to be more like her. I’m close to 44 and I sure hope that self-acceptance and not needing to please anymore clicks in for me soon! I’ve made a lot of progress, but still struggle with perfectionism and thinking I’m lazy. And just dealing with what’s normal aging is frustrating because I used to be able to mask my ADHD because I could think quickly on my feet and had a pretty good, almost photographic memory. After 40, those things aren’t as reliable as they used to be. I feel I’ve lost some of my super powers and as I’ve added more and more areas of responsibility and life has become more complicated and there’s much less external structure, I’ve struggled more and more with each passing year. I used to be so much more organized and now I struggle to keep up with appointments and projects no matter what technology and productivity solutions I try! I feel like I’ll never meet any of my goals and expectations because I can’t follow through with anything! I’ve also got anxiety and depression, so those don’t help.
We finally got to meet the Cool Aunt you've mentioned in other videos!! Feels like we've unlocked Jessica Lore! Hearing your Aunt's experience and perspective is amazing, gives me hope for the future, thank you
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
I want to see more of your aunt! It was great listening to her perspective and her upbringing. Thank you for this!
This made me cry (in a good way.) My parents were not wonderful people. They were cruel and abusive, and even though therapy has helped a lot, I've always had this thought in the back of my mind that if I had felt loved and safe, I'd have had a happy childhood. Hearing that someone who was loved and safe was still unhappy and struggled with being undiagnosed was so validating in a way I can't begin to articulate. Thank you for this discussion. ❤
Thanks for that. I cant believe people like your aunt existed in the 90s with this way of thinking.
Thank you Aunt Susie for having her tweek the chapter to include those of us who are retired!
This was amazing! My husband also has OCD (with ADHD) and I have ADHD. Somehow we just work. I don't think I could be with someone who didn't have mental health struggles. The way well-meaning people brush off depression like it isn't a big deal is maddening.
Oii! Bom dia!
Gostei muito do vídeo com sua Tia e saber como ela tem lidado com o TDAH a tantos anos. Meu diagnóstico foi aos 36.
Sou do Brasil 🇧🇷 e cheguei até o seu canal pela indicação no livro que estou lendo do Russel Barkley.
It was heart warming watching you and your aunt sharing with us.
OMG! I love your aunt! Her story is so like mine... *Hugs*
Thank you to your aunt and you! Self-diagnosed at 42 after seeing it for years in my 12 year old. This was wonderful! ❤
Awwww! I need an Aunt Suzie! What a sweet and precious gift she is. Thank you for sharing her with us ❤
This video was one of the most important contents I have ever seen. I don't know if you know how powerful it is to watch this dialogue portraying ancestral healing right before our very eyes, because ADHD or not the healing of ancestral themes is a reality for everyone. Thank you so much ❤
I was just looking back through your video catalog this morning bc my struggle with self worth and feeling resistance to doing literally *any* self time management/planning has come to a point where it's actively harming my life and ability to find a new job after a year-long battle with cancer. Your videos are kind, like a warm hug to my inner child saying that even with my complex trauma and how my brain works that I am not beyond hope for a happy, meaningful future, that there are different tools I can try and I dont have to "get it" all at once. I'm not okay right now, but I'm not giving up on myself. Thank you 💜
I'm 45 and dating a gentleman with adhd. He was diagnosed as a kid. I was only diagnosed a few years ago (the school wanted me tested as a kid, but my mom didn't want me to be "labeled". So instead I struggled between people thinking I was a genius 1/2 the time and had a broken brain the other 1/2 the time and not knowing why simple things were so hard for me, so I'd try harder. My anxiety was through the roof when I was finally diagnosed). Anyway, it's so wonderful to dating someone who gets it. I'm sure it's a riot to watch us leave the house and each take at least one turn remembering something last minute and then while waiting for him to go get whatever, I remember something I'd wanted to bring too.
Good for you❤
I LOL!!! so loudly when Aunt Susie mimicked her husband’s sigh when he does see inside her tv room…I’m in the same situational marriage plus I didn’t get married till 36 so transitioning to living with someone after being on my own from 21 to 34 was an adjustment. 🤷🏻♀️
This made me smile and cry at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with AD(H)D.
I am struggling with ADHD my whole life. I got my diagnosis at the age of 38. Currently everything seems to become increasingly hard for me. But your perspective is giving me hope.
Thanks for sharing your aunt. Love her perspective and her experience resonates so much, even though we're separated by generations.
I loved this video! Thank you Jessica and Aunt Susie! Much love to you both 💜💜 And I bought your book 📘😊!
I totally think you hit adhd right on the head ,as soon as you said we tend to be very busy people yes 100%
She looks so young ❤
Oh, the struggles of feeling lazy and stupid. All the memories. I am so thankful to both Jessica (she made me realize I had ADHD) and Ms. Suzie for getting her son checked out. Those decisions have changed the world for the better.
Oh wow. 😊 thank you so much for having made this video. I am just diagnosed as an adult with adhd but have a grown son who was diagnosed when he was young. I love her attitude on life now.
Seeing old people really encouraging
I had a doll cake in the 80s! Loved it.😊
I love your aunt…this was so beautiful and gave me so much hope. Can we have her on here again please?
Thank you, and please say a big thank you and give a big hug to aunt Suzie. This was fantastic.
I’m currently 60 and my ADD is off the charts and my sister who just recently passed away was in her 90s and was undiagnosed and while reading one of her early report cards from back in the 50s, I could see that she was identical to me. Very smart, very creative, very willing to help others… But poor penmanship and couldn’t focus on her own work.
Thanks Aunt Suzie!
This is one of the most validating things ive ever seen. Thank you and your wonderful aunt for sharing this.