BLACK MEN are DONE dating BLACK WOMEN. Going white!
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- These BLACK MEN are DONE dating black women. They are going for white girls. From bad attitudes and masculine tendencies to the complete emasculation of men, black men say they are turned off and have had enough.
They are now turning to interracial relationships, and not just with white women. These men say they are tired of being ignored for years by women in their community only to be criticised when they move on to another race.
Tune in now. Leave comments (attack the argument, not the host and not one another in the comments section). We're all here today to TALK. So, keep it respectful.
This video includes clips from the following TH-cam channels"
The Q Pill
FreshNFit
Derrick Jaxn
Donovan Sharpe Shorts
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#dating #blackculture #interracialcouple #blackwomen
White guy here. Dated a black girl once. She was an absolute lady. Interestingly, she wasn't "black American," but Nigerian American. Black as night and absolutely beautiful. Incredibly fun, personable, witty, and intelligent, too. I'm certain she's found "the one" and wish her the best.
Foundation Black American women are different from Africans. I dated a white Africans from South Africa, and she was the same way. She taught me French and actually made me get a passport when I was 19. Never forget her ❤ she was feminine, funny and very smart.
This is about American black women
Unfortunately she probably caught hell because of her color. It's a shame...and that's why I think a lot of them are bitter.
Yea but the type of black women that dates white men are usually not the same women she is talking about trust me no disrespect.
@yessir8805 what is a white African? All Africans are from Africa therefore they are black!
It has nothing to do with black women being "black" . its the ATTITUDE .Men, all races, are attracted to looks , you can be green lol if you fine u fine. But if your attitude stank , it dont matter how good u look , if youre just rude and mean and think youre being strong you are very wrong lol
Not to mention the intense anger that's a hair trigger away. I've seen it in black women much, much more than any other race category male or female.
It’s seems as if these stories try to define EVERY bw.. make this statement after you have dated EVERY bw. Lived with every bw.. witnessed every bw attitude. ❤️
If you aren't black we deadass don't care.. She doesn't have the same energy for you that she'd have for a black man 💯
@@Sleepy_Apocalypse I am black maybe BM are attracting the wrong BW. And that’s says something about BM maybe a reflection of who they are.we date our reflection until you grow and ready for union. 🌹 I don’t care about color.. I love to see happy colors of any race together 🌹
@@Kira-berry didn’t he just say it doesn’t matter if you’re black, you can be green. The race doesn’t matter I can tell you’re a black women lol.
A college degree does not come with moral fortitude. I’m so sick of this narrative that a college educated person is somehow more emotionally intelligent than a person without a degree.
yea
wasting 4 years of your life for gender studys is not making you better than me
I hate she say it's unfair to give up on a whole race. It's actually fair. When you're raised by a single black mother and she treats you horrible, that's just a start. Then you try dating your own and you get a bunch of attitude. Then you look at how they're least married, first divorced, highest std, highest single parenthood, elevate baby mama's, idolize people like cardi b sexy red, and you just don't want part of it. Then when a woman gets online and bashes black men, it usually gets hundreds of thousands of likes. You absolutely can give up on a whole race inside the US.
Especially nowadays. Education standards have taken a nosedive. Some of the dumbest people I know have master's degrees.
@@azazel_playz7055a STEM degree is the most valuable degree. Almost nobody that has ever gotten a good STEM degree struggles. I have one and I can get a job almost anywhere. So keep staying uneducated and thinking everybody who goes to college gets a “gender studies” degree. You think you’re saying something intelligent but it just outs the fact that you probably did the bare minimum in life and only have a high school diploma and are extremely jealous of those of us that actually did the extra hard work in life and wanted more from life than a job in a factory, a bunch of kids and lifelong poverty. I told my nephew that if he wants to make sure he struggles his entire life he should stay away from college. I bet you live paycheck to paycheck.
Preeeaaccchhh now imagine what the classrooms look like
Dating is harder also due to social media. Everyone always feels like they have options, plus it builds toxic competition
Exactly 🙄 then be the same folks crying about loneliness and depression 😂
In regards to the Myron video, trauma does contribute to how one behaves but it does not fully excuse a person from how they treat other people.
I agree. Thanks for watching! 🖤
I’m half black and half white. I feel like this problem goes both ways, black women need to be more respectful of black men, and stop dating thugs and guys that are abusive and commit crimes. There are good black men out there but they’re often overlooked because people think they are “boring”. However, there are also a lot of disrespectful black men that are abusive, cheat, and leave their women to raise their children by themselves, and keep perpetuating the problem of fatherlessness. I’m a woman and I’ve dated both black men and white men, I’ve met some amazing black men, but I’ll be honest and say that the majority of assholes I’ve dated have been black. Generally speaking, the white men have treated me much better. So like I said it goes both ways.
I swear even if it would be world war 3 today somehow the world will find a way to blame it on black women. This why I don’t care what people think about us anymore it’s more peaceful this way.
Thank you for your perspective
Why is the answer never black men need to be more respectful to black women?
Just as well, respect is earned not given and second, Black Men need stop chasing
women who are about nothing simply because she looks good, cannot speak let alone write a complete sentence and have sex on demand even if she's not interested so he can show off to his buddies as eye candy.
@@vmlksm9 That part!!! They never answer that. Its always put on black women to be respectful. Stereotypes and the negative view black men have on black women only fuel that. Respect should go both ways a relationship is a partnership it shouldn't be put on one person.
Youre absolutely correct in that a father in the home will be the biggest determinant of how a daughter makes her choices.
Absolutely. I love two-parent homes and I say this as a woman who grew up in a single parent home.
Again, what would these people have to talk about if they weren’t denigrating Black Americans, and Black women in particular, as if the men in their cultures don’t have whole second families down the street? Not to mention the colirism, skin bleaching, and classism? They have ZERO laundry of their own to air out because the goal is to denigrate and assess Black Americans. We are tolerating it anymore thiugh
You are absolutely right. It could make or break a young woman. In my case, it almost broke me...ALMOST!
hopefully if the father is in the home he won't turn out to be a child molester, that's why some black women either become gay and men or masculine
Yea he will be the one who will teach you as a women do you need to protect yourself if the parent get divorce. That is what I learn from my Dad? Always make sure I can take care of myself and have my own income, money, and bank accounts in my own name.
I’ve dated multiple races and I’ve come to the conclusion that’s who’s for you is for you regardless of skin color.
Exactly!! 💯
Truth! 😊
It doesn't matter which race you date just domt insult the your races women easy peasy
Ahh the classic "nice guys finish last," or "they only want thugs, not nice guys like me!" I have found that many self-proclaimed "nice guys" actually aren't all that nice... "Nice" just = "I never went to jail and won't commit DV against you."
Facts. I was one of those "corny" guys. Today, I am an author, CEO, music artist, and Bible teacher.
Amen!!!!! Like I said...I'll gladly take the "corny" guys that some women pass up. They are usually the ones doing something great with their lives. Thanks for watching and congrats on your success!
I will continue to watch with great interest. @@ThisBahamianGyal
Although I agree with much of what is said in this video just to give you an example of what many black women are dealing with is that Black men will have all the same credentials that you have displayed in your comment but once you get to know the guy you discover that he's an author of a book that he self-published and put on Amazon and no one has bought or read it but he did it just so he can say he's an "author". He's the "CEO" of a company that he created but makes no money because he created an LLC just so he can say he has a business. He's a music artist of a few pieces that he put together, but he doesn't perform, or he uploaded to iCloud and it has no listens and he's a Bible teacher because anyone can volunteer to teach the Bible in church. So she's met with a man who's given himself many titles but in reality, works at Walmart for minimum wage and lives with his mom. And yes, there is something wrong with that because you meet so many black men like this who are "corny" and, on the books, seem decent and nice but you realize that these are lies, masks that they wear to cover the fact that they really aren't going anywhere with their lives and many women (rudely) ridicule them on the date (which I don't condone) or just ghost them.
I am sorry that this happened to you. However, not all men are the same. The fact that his books are not taking off yet, or his business, artistry, and teaching ministry are still in the formidable stages, doesn't mean he is a fake person. Many people will not attempt even one of these. They all take time. If he is willing to trust God, He will help him, and he will succeed. People ghost others because perhaps they lack to courage to be honest with them or want to avoid the risk of confrontation. Either way, Black men who are willing to attempt these things, need the type of women who are willing to encourage them and build with them. These days, black women want a man who is already at the pinnacle of their success. They tend to be self-centered and focus on themselves. Men like that need a partner who prays, reads, is prepared for a relationship, and is ready to support an artistic partner. In closing, creating an LLC enables a business person to file for a DUNS number, open a business bank account, receive grants, and obtain business funding.@@pamelapeters3342
I oce started dating a "corny" guy. He said he was God fearing too. He grew up in the SDA church. A co worker qho atends the same church said she knows his mom to be a woman of God.His mother was an elder in the church so I thought I was safe. He has 2 beautiful daughters and his mother who he adores
Did I have a cruel awakening. If I didn't read the bible myself I would've been caught up in a whole lot of ish
This guy in his 40s only looking for hook ups. He wanted threesomes and wanted poly and he used the bible to justify it.
I ran for the hills
I feel like it’s class thing. I grew up in the suburbs (which was diverse), and hardly had an issue until I moved out to one of the roughest neighborhoods in Miami for college. It was all I could afford unfortunately.
Woman of all races in that neighborhood were rough. The environment they lived in was violent, dangerous, and stricken with poverty. Not to mention the school systems failed them horribly.
I refused to make friends and stuck to myself until I moved to the Keys a couple years after. But I see why they are the way they are.
You are spot on. It IS a class thing.
@@ThisBahamianGyalvery few roses grow from the concrete ❤
May I ask did you have friends elsewhere like at college and you didn’t make friends with the women in your neighborhood?
@@ThisBahamianGyal
It's both....
Culture & Class.
(I'd say more about culture). There's a black woman on TH-cam right now screaming about how giving compliments are racist 🤦🏾♂️. The attitudes are often too much to deal with.
Complaining, Entitled or Confrontational.
The hot song of the summer was "my booty hole is brown"... And the women will curse and burn you with fire if you said it was a problematic song.
To say that.... Means it's culture.
Welfare food stamps
I’m a black man grown up in Philly and my experiences was similar I still deal with black women but I been rejected many of times growing up I was treated like I wasn’t supposed to not be here or something. I once asked my mom was I ugly to my surprise, she answered no, long story so I’ll leave it like that❤.
Adventure outside of Philly. Travel more and you will see how different black women can be and how your attraction Differs. It also depends on social class. Are they from the hood? Then you wouldn’t necessarily be their type. I don’t believe it’s because your ugly, women also like a confident man. Confidence is key!
Come to Durham, so many intelligent, successful, kind black women.... you'd have to try to fail. Much of the south is like this too.
Sometimes it's not what you do, it's how you do it. Some women in Philly are harsh. Philly men are very pushy. Most women like flirts and we don't like men to push themselves on us or not try at all. I say start out saying pleasant things like you are so smart! Everyone says your beautiful!
Get to know people through friendship! Once people see your personality, you get used to one another!
I've been all over the world and long story short all black women like that street or thug appeal.
Jersey New York Georgia Florida North Carolina South Carolina Jamaica Trinidad England and france. That's the places I've been to so far. Black women just genetically need a roughneck.
I think the whole “I’m a black nerd that’s why black girls never liked me” is always so interesting cause I always wonder if they tried to date the black girl nerds 🤔or maybe those same black male needs decided the black girl nerds were undesirable in the same way they are. Just a thought.
That's a great observation. I am sure many of thrm try to go for the popular girl. That's the problem.
Are female nerds rarer than male?
The female black nerds were always taken, didn't date, or too "unique" you don't wanna date them.
If you are in a poor black neighborhood then the thug seems to be what attracts more women. I admit I don’t have direct experience with that but I’ve heard that said, in so many word, by black people who grew up in rough neighborhoods.
From my experience growing up in the late 90’s, even the black nerd girls would still go for the thugs. They wanted excitement and danger, they wanted to “live on the edge” a little so who better to give them those cheap vicarious thrills than a thug?? Also the thugs were more socially popular and they wanted to boost their own popularity and social status and their counterparts couldn’t do that. They wanted to date the guys that the pretty and popular girls wanted.
"Masculine" tends to be very broad. I think of the "Fiery Latina" stereotype. Latinas are "allowed" to be feisty, headstrong, opinionated, outspoken, confront her man. But if a Black, non-Latina woman acts that way, she's "masculinized" or an "angry Black woman."
I am a black-Puerto Rican, you cannot tell unless I told you I was, with a strong vocal tone and get told mid-sentence all the time, it sounds like I have an attitude. When it comes up that I am Puerto Rican because I talk about going there a lot. People's demeanor seems to change and it's as if they open up more but before, it seems like they care less about even having a conversation with me.
Because when yall do it, it’s typically done very disrespectfully. My ex was like this, and she gaslit me when I said something about it. The shit she said to me, if she were a man, I’d have raged out on em.
That's typical has nothing to do with black women it's just pretty privilege both men and women will let the opposite gender get away with more bad behavior just because of sexual attraction alot of black men find them latina attractive trust me they don't keep dat attitude if they Don't find the woman attractive
Fiery and masculine aren’t the same ma’am. Masculine is when a woman with masculine tones and actions wants to oppose and challenge a man in every way possible. Fiery does not come with all that extras.
@@plantbase7755 challenging men is deemed Masculine or h just don’t like being challenged which one
I'm white and had a relationship with a black man for 4 years. As soon as we were together, his sisters told me that I shouldn't date black men and that I should stick to my own race.
His mother called me a white devil. It is a miracle we lasted 4 years 😂
Whaaaaat?? They sound straight evil. Who DOES that??!
@@ThisBahamianGyal I can laugh about it now. But yeah it was insane 😂
That happens to beige black women as well .His very dark black mother never talked to me went out of her way to ignore me and his very dark sister has a very nasty attitude with me ..., I gave up and advised him to find a dark black women his two favorite women will except and respect.., I'm gone ✌🏾💋
@@ladyk7317 It's insane and only makes racism worse. The color of our skin matters so much to some people, it is really sad.
Your experience was unfortunate, but it happens in reverse, and I'd wager, a lot more frequently. Traditionally, even if Black parents would prefer their child date/marry within their race, usually, they are at least cordial when you visit. If you marry, they will love and accept any children from that union. I can say from personal experience, that some white families made it crystal clear that they didn't want their daughters/sons to befriend a Black person, much less date/marry them. In my opinion, better to be called a white devil and a black "n".
No one can say anything about most women nowadays. If you're a man, it's "who hurt you?", or beta. If you're a woman, it's "you're a pick me."
The 'who hurt you?' is just deflection. It's an attempt to make something that's not about you appear to be all about you.
I've found with my black women friends that they match better with a lot of white men too. One close friend described it like this: white men were more gentle with her, gave her a respectful distance and weren't pushy. We're meant to seek out those feelings and treatment.
Could it be a natural balance?
She's someone I'll die respecting and means a lot to me. So, I go with what she said.
Whatever works for you as long as you are happy! Just don't shame black men for dating white women🤷♂️
I am white, my husband is very black and this is the way we see our relationship, He is everything I am not and I am everything he is not. We put character first. I am a very traditional wife to him and he leads and protects our family flawlessly. We are both Christians. These should be the only things that matter. Love and Respect!
@@Keys4healthcanada blessings to you both!
ABSOLUTELY. BLACK MEN ARE, AND HAVE ALWAYS THE AGRESSORS IN BM/BW RELATIONSHIPS, BECAUSE THEY KNOW NO ONE IS GOING TO COME TO HER RESCUE, NOR CARE ABOUT HER AND THE WELFARE OF HER CHILDREN. I SAY 'HER CHILDREN" BECAUSE BLACK MEN ADDRESS A BLACK WOMEN'S CHILDREN AS "YOUR KIDS," NOT "OUR KIDS." BLACK MEN ARE ENRAGED WHEN BLACK WOMEN DATE WHITE MEN, BECAUSE IF THEIR OWN INTERELATIONSHIPS DON'T FAIL, THEY NEED AND EXPECT A RELIABLE BACKUP! IT'S HEDGING THEIR BETS. A SOFT PILLOW TO LAY THEIR BROKE AND BUSTED HEADS.
@@kittenlang8641 She just debunked your friends entire false narrative lmao
I have dated women of various ages, nationalities and races. Truth is, women are not all the same. But my experiences with modern black American women have been mostly poor. In fact, I stopped dating them because they wouldn't date me. When I turned to other women, esp those from other countries, I was much more accepted and appreciated. My ex-wife passed for black but she was Indian-latina from the Virgin Islands. I was engaged to a white Canadian, I've dated a Swedish woman, and I have had friendships with others from abroad. My present fiancee is Filipina and I couldn't be happier.
I truly believe it is less about race and more about culture because one of my best loves was a darkskinned Nigerian woman. They were all women who appreciated my intelligence, curiosity, humor and romanticism.
None of them cared about my finances. They only cared about me and how I treated them. What more could I ask for?
I honestly wish yall focus more on the women that makes yall happen. Even when black men move on to other races, they tend to keep reflecting on that one black woman that mistreated him. If black women are so bad, why are we spoken about so much?
Try an Ai girlfriend. Best option. 🫂
Nothing will get better if people aren't honest with themselves!
People also mistake them for attitudes when it’s actually not. It’s a form of anti blackness n internalized racism.
The fresh n fit guy said he does not date black women bcs they are not submissive. Which is a big no go to me. A women causing drama is a headache. But no woman should be submissive and following the men’s lead. This is old fashioned and misogyn. This guy remains a red flag.
I'm 46 and still haven't diversed. If I had done it in my early 20's, I would be a grandfather now. But I let my mother convince me that if I was born by a BW, I'm good enough to be with one. I don't think my mom saw today's BW. I really missed out on a lot trying to keep it real and find myself playing catch-up before I'm to old
There's time - keeping it real is always someone else's keepin it real and not ours. Life is for living
You aren’t the only person who lost years of their life being true to themselves because of a mother’s expectations. I hope you find that special person soon.
This is interesting to me as a black woman who’s not attracted to black men. Basically, I get to see what challenges my younger sister might face if she ever started to date again. Same for my older sister and mother.
Same here, my older sisters have gone thru it because of their preference. Luckily, my niece is openminded and following my lead.
yet over 300,000more blackmen are married than blackwomen and its like a million more of yall😅. it's obvious who's really the "challenges" in the community
You claim to be a black woman, but you seem to be clueless about the culture or in denial. You may have to watch this video again and give it all your undivided attention.
@@cocolokoflaccothat’s because black men are more open to dating nonblack women. Also y’all have extremely high divorce rates with nonblack women. It’s obvious who’s the common denominator here 😂
@@cocolokoflacco yes, black men. those women who aren't married probably have your kids and you run off, so go and educate your men and lose your misogyny before you do it.
I am a 47yr old blackman from the Midwest, I am 6'4" 220lbs, have all my teeth and hair. I am a 25 yr Army vet and transitioned to a career field that affords me a good annual income of $300k a year. I have dated interracially for most of my adult life, and relationship problems are universal across the board. Bu I have to agree with most 90% of the statements you made in your video based on experience. In my youth and over the years, I have been repeatedly ignored African American women, within the first minute, as corny or boring. Idk why, I dress casual lean toward the modern man style, well groomed and demonstrate positive qualities when interacting with anyone especially the women. But oddly, I am initially perceived as corny, boring or broke lol; now I know this not to be true, since you have to have a little charisma to function successfully in the combat arms. I travel a lot and not to just Orlando, or Vegas but globally, I have pilots license, I taken up boating in the last 3 yrs, I have a degrees in engineering, cyber security and business administration, always rode a motorcycle, I hike, I am a hobbyist photographer, I can converse on my worldly subjects very deeply. But when it comes to my black women having a 9-5, not dressing like a rapper, being me the original me to the fullest and caring myself with respect comes off as corny apparently.
Now in the pass, I have dated black women from Africa and the Caribbean with success. To be honest they were extremely different culturally from women in the US, the character, values and demeanor in general were above par. They acted more lady like and support traditional gender norms as well as modern women norms, ie they were educated, had great jobs and accepted letting a man to man things and women do women things. We navigated life together 50/50, not a I need you take care of me while I just look good situation. It was very enriching. But the truth be told; my opinion here based of life experiences, I definitely feel more accepted by white women I the US or Canada and overwhelmingly overseas in Europe and Australia. If I strolled down the street in Lituanina, Romania, Hungary, Slovenia or Croatia and said hi to am woman chances are they would likely have a drink with you, exchange phone numbers, social media, share personal details, let you court them etc. They would in general be more intrigued and attracted to different values and characteristics vs black women' not saying they lower the bar but your income, clothing, superficial stuff is not the initial attraction I feel. IIDK what's is going on in the community and at this point in my life I do not care, but I do recognize the patterns, we men speak about it, the if it is not true it doesn't matter because the perception is reality especially with social media being an echo chamber for bad behavior. I honestly feel bad for the good women who have to navigate all the BS and heartache to find a good man. Finally just to be clear I do like black women, I like all women, but I think a guy wants to feel wanted, needed, encourage and APPRECIATED at the end of the day and my black women have this wall up initially and only allow certain type of men in. This contributes to the narrative of the black women masculinity nonsense, I also agree with that Fresh N Fit looser for once. Non of my comment should be looked at as hated but constructive criticism from my limit worldly experiences and observations..
You have to separate black American women from other women from different cultures. African American women is the issue here.
To answer your question directly, YES! I dated black women for decades and thought there was something wrong with me, because they said so. Then I went to southeast Asia for business. A Thai coworker introduced me to his sister-in-law, a college graduate, who spoke English, with no Children, and was the most feminine woman I had ever met. I have never been treated that well by any other woman. Being a provider and protector for her is my pleasure.
African women are extremely feminine & submissive it’s black American women that are not but because they share skin colour people place them into the same bracket
It speaks volumes about women over 35 looking for fun constantly🙄.
I have to disagree. As a black woman I am ALWAYS super open and polite to anyone who gives me compliments and polite to every stranger. If you or someone else has a negative interaction with another black woman why is that now my burden to carry? Why am I, (a completely different person
) now burdened with having to prove that I’m not masculine or rude. I’m sure you’ve met other disrespectful people but do you now turn around and assume that all people of that demographic are that way?
Well, I don't know if your comment is directed to me or black men as a whole, but I will respond as if it were directed to me. It's not your burden...because despite my encounters, it doesn't make me stop complimenting black women. I just did it yesterday. I won't stop being me. But, that doesn't negate the fact that some women act funky. You may be in the group of women who accepts compliments and are actually nice. Thanks for watching.
Ego gets in the way and leads to their downfall.
I definitely think you see a difference in the much older generation of black women (pre welfare). I think in the last 20~30 years this has been happening more too with white women. Not to the same degree but fatherless households have become more common in general. You see the same attitudes with white women who grew up without fathers. I do think men have to accept that role in this and hopefully learn from it. Children need fathers (even it they are divorced, fathers should still be there for their children).
You are absolutely right!!!
it's the attitude. Black women knows this, enough black men have been talking about this for decades, a lot of them just don't care. So it is what it is.
I love your videos :D you make me laugh sometimes, it is great watching your reactions. Keep rocking your channel.
Thank you sooooooooooooooooo much!
At the end of the day, it’s a risk/reward decision. As a father of two young beautiful black women, I refuse to share what I invested to leave a legacy for my children with someone who comes with attitudes and behavior that we’re witnessing today. I choose to leave a legacy for my children and that gives me peace.
i have dated women of black, white, latino and asian background. i am one of the dark skin men with prominent black features. i really cant say i have had a lot of problems attracting black women. but there is a difference between the attitudes of black women and women of other races. i actually think hispanic women are the easiest to get along with. white women and asian women can be iffy. black women are the most difficult. i think its because black women in general are not raised by society to hold black men in high esteem.
Yes most just dont like us mostly due to slavery
Man this made me feel some type of way,
As a black man i was twisted in my feelings towards your video.....but you are not wrong.
I feel like you might have missed a vector response to this topic.
We also as black Men, have issues with female family members; and this leads to running away from that the first chance you get... music fashion and definitely dating.
The biggest thing about communication breakdowns from black women...is the arguing FKN SEMANTICS..... number one issue and relationship destruction.
The WAY you express yourself has to be in line with the way she WANTS you to talk to Her, and your problem never gets solved.
I am a Mexican/White from East Los, and I have dated Black, White, Mexican. But my wife is a strong, independent head strong wife. ALTHOUGH when it comes to our relationship we are equally yoked(just like the Bible). She also CHOOSES to make me the king of our family, so I make her the Queen. But in order to achieve this happiness I had to go to another continent….sad state for the state is American Black women.
I am 41 now. Growing up all i ever heard by Black women that i am Blackie, Crispy, Tar Baby, Hockey puck, Midnight, skillet, burnt rubber. That's is why I left
I say this as an "outsider". At around the 5-minute mark, when you were talking about men and the type of men certain women in the black community are attracted to, it instantly made me think of Michael B. Jordan. He has that problem too, he is a hard worker and wants to be at home or with his friends etc and below-key, but the women he has been with seem to want to go out and party and events etc. He basically gets slept on by women in the Black community for being too "boring", when he's actually a decent man who would make a great husband. Some women are attracted to the lifestyle they see in Basketball wives or Love and Hip-hop. Another thing I have noticed is when people grow up with a single mother who says things like "men ain't s**t" etc, of course, that's going to harm a young boy's psyche and then that is just going to perpetuate the cycle of broken homes and bad relationships. For "black love" to work and be healthy, respect each other, and show compassion and dignity. Peace!
I have never dated a black woman. I’m half white. After my breakup, I started to like every race now. When I’m matched with black women, I’m ghosted/unmatched quick. I don’t go out often, I work a lot, and I’m not wildly spontaneous. Then again, every race does this.
I'm mixed too and I have this experience with black men. I've stopped matching with them because it's like why even match in the first place? White then Asian is the mostly likely to respond on Bumble.
@@CyberMachine As a man, I wish I had it as simple as you. I’m not making assumptions about you personally, but your gender tends to have more likes on dating apps or even in public than men. I’m a 5 (a 6.5 if I get my beard cleaned up 😅).
@@CyberMachinejust fyi: alot of blackmen don't trust mixed women when they mixed(white & black) cuz they feel they always get betrayed in some way.
She didn't condone to going to an English class.
I am deceasedddddddd!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...I read that in her voice, too!!!
There is alot of truth in this video. Both on the female side and male side. Yes, i have dated out of my race. I believe its what you bring into the relationship. Alot off hard truths in this one
just a quick correction: The vast majority of people in the upper percentile of wealth do NOT hold PhDs in ANYTHING. It's Graduate Degrees (MAs) which are an indicator of wealth, not PhDs.
I have that same experiance, thank you for speaking un on this subject.
You are so welcome! Thank you for watching and commenting. Share the video with a friend.
i'm an asian woman with a black man.
when ppl see us, they expect the stereotypical dynamic of strong black man and submissive asian woman. how wrong they are!!!
because he's the laid back passive and i'm the adhd aggressive 😂
i read in one of the comments that it's the attitude not the race and i would agree.
especially as my man found me attractive because (he says) i have the sass, loud, strong characteristics of a black woman he grew up seeing and admired, but i just happen to be asian. 😂
I found your channel yesterday and binged my ass off lol
Love your content !!!!
Thank youuuuuuuuu!!! I hope you continue to enjoy my work. Thanks for watching! 🖤
If I as a Caribbean woman encounter bad attitude from SOME BW in the USA I can imagine the men gets it too as they are saying. I’ve known Caribbean women with bad attitude as well but this conversation is about American BW. It’s difficult to befriend bad attitude. The toxicity and intensity is too risky. I want peace and so do BM who would want to date them. Some have wonderful personalities but this conversation is not about them. But for those with bad attitudes, I think it’s partly a defensive mechanism for them because of traumas they have suffered or are suffering in their lives. I sympathize with them for that. I try to have an understanding approach in addressing this issue instead an attacking, belittling and degrading approach.
I try to be understanding in being kind and polite towards them even try to make them cheer up and smile or laugh and sometimes it works. I try not to upset them anymore than they are and work around their bad attitude which really is very off-putting. I don’t know what either a man or woman in general have been through or going through in their personal lives, I refuse to add anything negative to their burden. That’s just me. Bad attitude can be remedied and it will take some work. The work might be a small matter of changing their perspective on the issue of why they CHOOSE to be angered, triggered and have that bad attitude. Victim mentality is typically the reason for it. Change from victim mentality to survivor mentality is a good place to start. Bad attitude really is a matter of CHOICE, a reaction we CHOOSE to have to an unpleasant even traumatic experience or experience.❤️
They probably just can't believe that someone as pretty as yourself would sincerely compliment them. The one was probably jealous of YOU, and even though you were complimenting her, she probably felt insecure because she was with her man... probably felt pale in comparison to you, even though she had put herself together well that day. 🏆🌹
Hi! Thanks for watching. The girl was a baddie. She was beautiful. No lie. Her man lit up when I complimented his girl. But, she was just....ughhhh. Maybe she is used to getting compliments, so it wasn't a big deal. Or maybe it's like you said and she didn't think I was being sincere. If I were in her place, I would have turned to my man and been like...see...even girls think your woman looks good and had a laugh about it. Thanks for watching, babes!
Awesome! We’re dating white men now anyway so this works out well.
Thanks for another great video! I agree with the points that you made and see the same things.
I had three significant relationships so far. The first two were non black men, the 3rd was a black man and I married him. He divorced me an went to a white woman. Let me also say I dated outside my race because I felt black men didn’t want me any every where I turned it was black men with white women. I come from a traditional African family so a lot of the feedback I got was I was too white washed, Oreo and not black enough. While in interracial relationships, I did feel I was treated like a lady and respect. But I noticed with my ex husband, he was softer and nicer to white and Hispanic women than he was to me. I told him one day I wished he stopped talking to me like I was one of his athletes because he didn’t treat me with care.
My take is this. We would be further along if we treated each other like we treat white men and white women. There is a certain care I see from both sides while interacting with the other races that we don’t do with each other
True True well said sister.
Hello Rogan, my Bahamian Sister in Christ. Thank you for tackling another controversial but necessary topic. I apologize in advance to you and your viewers for the long reply. I was married for 20 years to an African American Woman and had four children with her, and we later divorced. In a moment of anger, I told her, “I would never marry another black woman.” In my heart, I meant, “I would never marry a woman like her.” But I found myself not being attached to black women after our divorce. (this was not a conscious decision on my part). Longer story short, after eight years of being single and praying to the Lord to bless me with a wife, He blessed me with my current wife, who is Chinese and was living in China when we met. I “never” had a thing for Asian women, and if the Lord had blessed me with a black woman, I would have happily married her. I believe the moral of the story is, “We should love and marry who we are attached to and not limit ourselves to one race.” The Lord does not; He is the best “matchmaker” I know. Your Brother in Christ, Bryant
I like reading your comments, so no apolgy needed. LOL. Thanks for sharing your story and I am happy that you have found love again! 😊
Immigration fraud 😂
Thank you, sister!
Clearly I'm white but one of my closest friends is a black guy.....he got married, it was picture perfect wedding, etc....I had the inside scoop of 4 years down the line her crazy spending habits and attitude around money and her not being intimate for a loooong period of time. Needless to say they're divorced now but I was shocked as we began talking about it that this guy literally got married based off his feelings without having any serious talks about money.
A community without families is not a healthy community. Get yourself together BW/BM.
First of all great video and love how you voice your outlook on the topic at hand your amazing.
Thank you so much 🤗
@@ThisBahamianGyal your welcome 🙏 have a blessed day 🙏 queen!
I’m a black girl, not from the US though. Here’s what I think about this whole drama or anger about black men going for white women.
Black men don’t have to justify why they go for white women, but in trying to, they end up pulling black women down and saying it’s black women’s fault - going on about qualities (which I don’t deny btw) that turn them off. If you want to date outside your race, fine. Just stop making silly excuses as to why. Black community this, black community that, is the reason they have a guilty conscience, because this is the community that backs them (especially celebs or NBA players) when they are starting out, so they feel they need to pay them back. In thinking they’ve failed to so by going for these women have to explain why they aren’t with a black woman - “black women are this, so I prefer this”. Preferences and choices are supposed to be an individual’s and theirs alone.
I don’t see white men explaining why they’re with black women.
Tbh, we need to grow up.
A black woman's femininity shouldn't depend on what a man can provide; it should be inherent. It's frustrating that our women often avoid accountability, blaming men instead. My experience with educated black women, including my ex-wife who had a master's degree, showed me that they sometimes compete with men rather than collaborate, leading to conflict and manipulation. Instead of blaming black men for seeking something different, black women should reflect on their own actions and choices, as evidenced by low marriage rates and high divorce rates within our community.
You know it's had when another black woman can see it and relate.
When it boils down to it, black women judge us a lot more than we judge them. Don't get it twisted.
Bull crap! BW have been fighting for our men for years. Been riding with our men for years!! It was you all who started it. No other race of men put their wmen down like that even if their women have problems
I'm not black but I am a woman who grew up without a father. As a result I am a more masculine woman so I definitely agree with that point. Another issue that might have caused is I have no desire to date anyone at all and even when I was a kid whenever I pictured the future it was always me living alone with no partner.
13:24 I think we are missing the mark with this proliferation of the idea of “masculine” women. What Brothers and the world at large are seeing in women isn’t a form of masculinity, but to term it more accurately it’s “brutish” women. These women can come from all walks of life and they aren’t just Black.
What tends to create these brutish women is a combination of culture and socioeconomic (ghetto) circumstances. Hence if you go into poor urban communities in America today you’ll see MANY young women adopt this type of behavior in response to surviving in these environments whether there is a father in the home or not.
Lastly, we’ve brow beat men to death (especially black men) with this whole “deadbeat dad” concept to the fact that there are really aren’t as many deadbeat dads out there to support this trope. A recent study by Rush University had to move the goal posts of fatherhood to mean “consistent and affirmative” involvement because in reality most fathers are there. It’s the environment and the culture that’s spawning these women. It starts with modern, exploitative capitalism and having to “get it out the mud” and is exacerbated by these substandard living conditions. If we want to change the women we have to change their circumstances inside and outside the home.
I just subscribed to this channel and I'm liking it so far keep being amazing sis. I'm a black women and since I was young I was always told from my own race of boys that I was pertty for a black or dark skin girl but I wasn't their type. They told me they wanted a white or Spanish girl it never bother me for some reason. I guess because Spanish men always wanted me so I date Spanish I'm open to date my own its only if their open to me. I would say that I could be tough at times but when it comes to men I'm dating I work on being more soft. The only thing is when he starts to act like my son and I don't have one the toughness kicks back in and at that point I rather be alone. I'm all for people loving who they love but not all black women are headaches. My mother was super tough and my father was in my life and sisters we all have the same parents my mother was the tough one because my father could never get it right. So she was force to be strong for our whole family. I feel black men and women need to be patient with eachother and take time. We all have some what of the same stories instead of trama bonding help eachother to heal by listening and being better the your parents. Peace and blessing.
I'm Married all I do is nod my head and go nothing else PERIOD!!!
As for the younger generation, these young men follow what they see and it's just a fetish for them. They have not experienced life.
As a man who can't get women I don't care how masculine, demasculating, or difficult black women are seen as by black men. I will put up with them. They can be as difficult as they want to be. I'll accept that personality gladly. A friend has suggested going to a club to pick up Trans women. I don't see what it'd hurt to try. If I'm being neglected my basic needs I'll resort to any female or female looking person to be with.
To me its the mindset and their attitude.
Not mention the wigs/ weave . If they cant accept their natural look why should i?
This is really depressing. It gets too heavy, sometimes. Yes im a black woman.
and then there’s me.: the quiet black girl who gets told she is too nice and needs to be meaner... but still at the same time have to deal with all these stereotypes. it’s so confusing and annoying i just want to be me.
This is completely true; I was always told I acted too white, and I need to toot it and boot it because my ass was flat. I wasn't ghetto enough. I also listened to Evanescence, so I wasn't going to find a black man to like me. There's always talk about the black male nerds but what about the black female nerds that was an Oreo and got bullied for being an outsider.
My biggest bully was a dark-skin black men and funny enough is name was Raquan, he preferred my very light-skinned friend and a white girl named Megan who is now finishing up a 10 year-bid in prison. He went on to have multiple kids by different mulatto women.
@ambzskii@ people will tell you to be what looks best to THEM, what makes THEM feel more comfortable. And yes ma’am, that’s all you have to do- be YOU. Be what YOU are comfortable as- yourSELF❤️
Don't change Miss , you're worth more than Gold !
Please don't change who you are! I'm a 49-year-old black man who was told all my life I was too nice and talked white! I found my black woman and have been married for 16 years now.
"To oneself, be true." You have to look yourself in the mirror every day, so continue being you.
People are out here blocking their blessings and focusing on the wrong things. I don’t understand… why aren’t we focused on attraction, commitment, and compatibility?
@@d.thompson7464 💯💯💯
Ooo I can relate to the compliment thing. Just the other day I had complimented a sistas tattoo (nightmare before christmas) and the eye rolling and “ugh” I got made me laugh. It’s all I could do. Sheesh ya try to be nice lol.
It's so sad, isn't it. Frustrating, too. Like I told someone, it's in my nature to compliment people and show love. But, some of these folks make it hard.
A gal (black) at work took out her braids and started wearing her hair natural, and I (white) thought it was so beautiful, so I told her. She was gracious that time, but I saw her again with her natural hair tied back in a scrunchy that time, and I loved that too. The second time I complimented her, she acted suspicious that I was not genuine. I recognize maintaining her hair type takes skill, work, and time, but her hair is beautiful and I'm low-key envious.
She's so beautiful, and it makes me sad that she thinks she's being mocked out something when someone tells her so. When I have told other women, they may not realize how pretty they really are, but they don't assume I have negative intentions when I tell them I consider them beautiful. My grandma always told me I'm pretty, so that's how I learned to be toward women.
And that’s the common response a black man gets tryn to talk to a sister! So years of getting that response why keep talking to that to keep getting that response! Nah man is waking up not just black men!
Heard that
Are you trying to be nice? You misogynistic username suggests you're not a very nice person, actually.
As a European White man living in Canada, I dated Black women and married one, some Black women, like many women of all races, had "issues" but others had values similar to yours. I'm afraid I have to disagree with the man who wants a woman to be submissive and respect male authority. I don't look for a submissive woman, because a relationship is a partnership of equals. As for respect, respect is earned by how you interact with others, etc. I do not believe that a man, because of birth, is a boss. Respect must be mutual.
I lived in the US for a while and even served in the US Military and found Black culture there very different from Canadian, Caribbean & African Black culture. I left America, because, I found the culture/society there, in general, unacceptable to my values.
I enjoy your podcast.
🤮
Thank you for seeing black women as individuals and not a group 😊🙏🏾
We are not equal nor we should be
Sigh, as a black American girl who lived in Europe for 10 years…Americans are very socially delayed. They still believe in these old fashioned norms and dynamics in relationships and see them as transactional. My ex and most guys I’ve dated have been European, and the first date I went on with an American since being back, let’s just say, I miss Europe.
Black women don’t want to rush into marriage, but rush into getting pregnant? I just don’t understand that logic! Having a child is a greater commitment than marriage!
You are absolutely right!
Children are more loyal to their mothers than men, besides most women take birth control that doesn’t work on us. So if they don’t abort then everybody call them gold diggers, and they do abort they call you a murderer.
From the look's of it the blacks guys do the same don't want marriage but make babies all over. Not just to their own but to other women to. My dad always would tell us don't go for the b guy's because they don't value marriage or family
Very true and I say this because I grew up seeing it in my own family and it was generational, a lot of black women get pregnant because the gov't will pay them to do it. A child becomes a meal ticket and a monthly paycheck, and the more children they have the bigger the payout. Also, the gov't tells those black women that they can't have a man in the picture if they want to keep getting paid, but that's another conversation entirely.
@@parisian_nicole sad because that’s such a low level of thinking. And it creates generational trauma from the circumstance kids are brought into. 🤦♂️
I noticed every since I moved to the southern US the black womens are sweeter and kinder than up north. It’s a breathe of fresh air!
So true
I'm from the north east currently residing in the south east and the women down south are the same for ass attitudes is concern.
I grew uo in the north and noticed the difference almost immediately when I moved to Charleston SC. I grew up near Oakland and the people there seemed a lot angrier than their southern counterparts. I know it’s a kind of generalization but I definitely know what you’re talking about.
Yup my family is from texas mom moved to PA so I have seen both worlds its throws me off everytime I visit downtown houston or anywhere else in Texas the women just speak and they accept a simple hello without any stuck up responses.
I am a 42 yr old melanated woman who was raised by my father. He always provided. But from my experiences, most melanated men that I've dated didn't know how to treat me. They were always trying to mode me into what they thought I should be, and that was by any means necessary. Including verbal, physical, finacial and mental abuse. I went from being very submissive to very defensive, especially when I saw red flags. So that masculine energy in my opinion is a form of self protection. Peace and love sister. Ur videos are very insightful and u are so authentic. Blessings.
I'm a black woman and don't care if some Black men prefer other races. I'm minding my business and focusing on the men that like me! I don't spend energy worrying about those people who don't want me and advise other women to do the same.
Agreed! Thanks for watching.
Hows your ATTITUDE?
@@AmenRa-ck3ep my attitude is great and I have no trouble with black men that I vibe with.
@@ThisBahamianGyal
- black men aren't "going white"...they're going FEMININE. 🤦🏽♂😁
@@ThisBahamianGyal
- clearly your channel doesn't possess much credibility if you needed this bm exodus explained to you. 😂
I have a black gf. I've dated white, black, latin girls all my life so I never even think about it. My gf is feminine, traditional, educated, compassionate, and goofy funny. Exactly what I look for.
Well said. It’s weird to me that men complain like angry, bitter, crazy, and etc don’t come in all flavors of the rainbow
She's definitely not from the hood
Amen to that sir. Feminine women are so attractive and natural
Is she light skin ?
Really? Where you find her at?
I find it strange how a man could be at odds with all the women of his community. As a college educated black man with no jail record, I am glad that I've never had issues engaging, attracting, or being with a black woman. The best woman in the world! No race of woman is perfect. You just have to be mature to understand that everyone isn't for everybody.
Right, I agree. I just don't understand the war created.
Maturity. Spirituality. Creativity. Positivity. Accountability Being The Biggest Challenged Subject. All Women Need This.
Well said! 👏🏽
I think this highlights a deeper problem in the black community, it's not race that's the issue, it's black American culture. I am not an American but anyone with eyes can see that rap and gang culture has been extremely detrimental to the black American community and it seems both the women and men don't want to be held accountable for an evil culture they created, all I see is feminine men blaming women and masculine women blaming men, none of the members of the black community want to find a solution instead they are busy blaming the other gender.
Preach Brother!!!!! As Long As She Is Virtuous
And Cannot Be Bought Or Sold........
I dated a white woman she was the first and only human that ever told me I was enough and it changed my life
LMAO grow some please. did she tell you you were the prettiest princess in the ball too
Keep her bw would never they are insecure narcs
we do but to men that deserve it@@edt4080
@@edt4080 Some of us, not all of us. I lift mine up daily. It's a real shame though that so many blk women aren't taught to respect black men
You mad brah?
43 year old white guy for whatever that’s worth. I have found black women attractive since the first time I saw the singer Brandy in like 1998 and I’ve dated several women of color over the years. I don’t think that they have been any more or less “difficult” than any other female. I never really thought about it until now, but I’m wondering if maybe there is truth in the idea that in general black women are “difficult”. I don’t know it doesn’t seem right to generalize people.
Why haven't you married any of the black women you've dated ?
@@DerellRutherford I never really wanted to marry anyone. To me the system is so absolutely against men what is the point? I've been contributing to my 401k since I was 19 and, no I'm not "rich", not even close, but I've been consistently taking steps so that I don't have to eat cat food when I'm 70 and I don't want some judge that doesn't know me or give a sh*t about me to give anyone half of that money. It's bad enough the government cannot wait to get their hands on it.
@@DerellRutherfordare you married?
The question that needs to be asked, and rarely is, is why, if true, are females like this? Because, then, you'd have to open up the discussion to other factors: sociological, economic, cultural, etc. reasons as well as co-sharing the responsibility that black males play in this little drama, instead of just laying the blame on black women, which is really what's going on here.
@@michaelwallace2487excellent point and observations!
We can't fix what we won't face!🤷🏾♀️
Exactly! Thanks for watching!
That's a good life lesson in general thank you ! 🎉
@@ThisBahamianGyal Isn't it funny how you didn't fix your mindset, you said WW were better and married the lowest WW and chased Single parent WW only to end up alone at 69 years old with poor health Maceo *So why didn't Maceo take his own advice, lots of women went right past him. He whined like an old Sickly Broke 69-year-old boy dying alone!* KARMA
Say Brother, some things you can’t fix!!!!! But so-called white women are NoT the ANSWER😢!!!!!!!!!!
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
You are so right,I'm a black women,and I love complementing people,but black women I think twice to give a complement because of the attitude and negative vibes we give each other,we need to love each other more.
Faxx! 💯
Agreed... I'm like TBG...I love to compliment and receive compliments from other women but I have noticed that with other Black women there's either an attitude when receiving the compliment or an asterisk when giving the compliment... It's good to know that it's not just me
@@LocdAnnLuvly It is definitely not just you. I am the same in being able to admire beauty and compliment it (face, clothing, shoes, personality, etc.). I recall two women I associated with, one black and the other Puerto Rican (both in my Gen- 40+), after I complimented them (on separate occasions as they don't know each other) they both had similar responses... "I don't compliment other women, it won't ever be genuine (coming from me). I just think it's silly and fake!" I just grabbed my pearls LOL. I don't talk to either today.
I no longer hold doors for blkwmn, I refuse to.Everytime I do try to give the benefit of the doubt they ALWAYS disappoint so I figure don't do it for any of em unless a family member
@@JamesBrooks-hj3dz Wow! That's unfortunate that you will let a handful of foolish women change your mannerisms and character... Sir, you are a gentleman and unfortunately we live in a day and age and society that no longer appreciates gentlemen... Whether it's other men who may think that you are "soft" or "weak" or if it's women who may think that you are suspicious...Because of where we are in history, the gentleman's way gets disparaged. But I beg you please don't let that change you...Stay true to yourself! Because we need gentlemen and our boys need to see how ALL women really should be treated
Black women please stop being afraid to date outside your race get who gets you end of story Let them go.
My dad, a white man, married a black woman and they eventually got divorced. She was a sweet fun likeable lady but my dad was disciplined financially and wanted the same from her. They met at the same job with the same salary. She always wanted to live outside of their means. I remember one day she bought a range rover with rims and my dad was so angry because it cost twice as much as his own car payment. He left that relationship $25,000 in debt.
Damn
Keisha strikes again.
@@booneboone9705 Keisha got him good. (smh)
Blk wife effect😮
Women that usually makes the same or more money than a man don’t like to submit to his authority and guidance. That’s why men rather date women that make less but more family oriented.
Damn, the part about not having a father and seeing your mom trying to be both a mother and a father and then as a daughter ending up with masculine/I don't need do man mindset hit me hard!
Let's finish the sentence for those with slow comprehension "I don't need no man to bring me grief, heart ache, infidelity, misery, violence and poverty." "I don't need no irresponsible man." Such women have had several traumatic relationships. So they are done. There are also many bw who have given up on "black love" and dating altogether, proving black women are tired of the gaslighting offered by the BC. Perhaps people are just too jaded by the falseness of the BC?
Not all men can lead, I have seen men goes behind his wife,s back and invested a big chunk of her money without her knowing, and it was a fraud so he didn't get any of this money back .
Women are sometimes masculine because the mom did have to play both roles bc the dad was not involved or in the home.
So how can a woman be taught to be masculine when no masculinity is around?
I had an absentee dad and my mom did everything. I grew up nearly fearless. I struggle to follow my husband because I have sharpened so many skills. Sometimes I feel like I have to dumb down to be feminine. I wish I had a perfect answer.
Most people learn their basic living skills from women, like grooming, reading, math, riding bikes, eating properly, making beds that sort of thing. Men don’t really raise children, they leave it to women.
I love my American black women! I've good experiences and bad. More wonderful and beautiful experiences! People never want to own up to the choices they make? So now your going to blame all black women? Everyone has the choice to be with whomever.
You asked for opinions, so be prepared, I had a lot to say and here it is.
I loved the response of the young man in the car who defended BW. It was like a breathe of fresh air. It is rare I ever witness, hear or see that on these public forums. It is usually just denigration from both women and especially men.
On the BW/BM antagonistic dynamic:
Here are two statements by a 2 different BM from something I heard recently about the nature of BW/BM antagonistic behavior on social media platforms. He said, “Black women are the most educated, most entrepreneurial, most upwardly mobile of women. They have lifted themselves out of poverty, many working 2 to 3 jobs while going to school and raising their child or children alone. They have done this because of their strength. “BW are action motivated where as BM are grievance motivated.”
It is always someone else’s fault, it’s what someone is doing to them, what someone is not doing for them, what they can’t do or have because of someone else. And when they can’t blame their failings on others in society and society in general, they blame BW.
They compete with BW because they can not compete with other men. Instead of being proud showing admiration for the accomplishments of their women in spite of adversity, they are jealous of their BW, their strength and accomplishments and therefore feel they have to be taken down. I agree with him.
Next, paraphrasing the other BM’s statement:
One of the most ridiculous things they say, is the BW won’t let him be a man, well it is not up to a women to make or let you be a man. Either you are, then be one or you are not. Stop being the man child who needs a woman’s subservience (mommy’s indulgence) to be her big little man. I agree with him too.
Now on BW femininity:
There is also a bigger picture and complex dynamic here that people need to understand, always remember and never forget about the daughters of black American men when comparing them to non black women. In this case, WW.
Unlike WW, BW generally do not have the luxury of reigning in their feminine energy like WW and other non black women.
Many BW, too many did not grow up as (daddy’s little princess) and raised in an environment with the support, protection, security and provision of their fathers like WW. They have the luxury of reigning in their femininity.
Many BW, too many grew up with absentee fathers (for various reasons, death, prison, abandonment).
They as little girls, growing up had to develop the strength (what you call masculine energy) to protect & provide for themselves (what their absentee fathers did not) just to survive and defend themselves from the predators in their community as well as the things WW do not have to deal with and experience, like racism, discrimination, bigotry, biases, prejudices, micro aggressions & misogyny of society in addition to supporting BM on the front lines when some horrific racist acts has happened to them.
BW do let their guard down and reign in their feminine when they feel safe, protected, secure, provided for and treated with the sensitivity and understanding they need as an unprotected class of an oppressed group of people. IF they do NOT TRUST that you can do that for them unconditionally, they will not put down their instinctive guard of self preservation. (In other words, Strength needed to survive, what some black men call masculine energy) That is just human nature. Even WW will bring forth their strength (so called masculine energy when they feel threatened and or disrespected, i.e Tiger Woods’ ex, etc.)
And all this crap about being submissive and subservient, when one is of an oppressed people, and have to be be subservient in a society to be acceptable to survive, they don’t want to have to be subservient in their own home, in a personal relationship with someone who more than anyone should understand the toll how that suppression of your spirit can be taxing. Home and in your relationship is where you should be able to be free.
With this said, why is it that many BW (with their so called faults according to some BM) can find love and happiness and successful relationships with non black men?
Statistics show, There are many, many black women who have very successful marriages with WM. Statistics and research also validate that this marriage combination WM/BW is the most successful of any male/female combination, especially interracial.
This is because many WM & men of other groups in marriage see themselves as providers and protectors of their women and families. Many will do whatever it takes to protect their family. (From laws to even violence)
When BW in successful interracial marriages are asked “Besides love, what is characteristic in their relationship that makes it successful?, this is one of the things they ALWAYS discuss. (He makes me feel safe, secure, protected and provided for. He is sensitive to my specific my needs as a BW in this society, he doesn’t demand or ask more of me than he does of himself, something she may have never experienced. ). Once that security and caring is established, She can then let down her wall of strength for self protection and let her femininity reign.
From numerous interviews, documentaries and surveys, WM in successful relationships with BW have said, how they are surprised at how vulnerable BW are, how the simplest of things like bringing her flowers, cooking a meal for her, listening to her, just giving her a hug if she has had a rough day as a BW out in society, standing up for and defending her can just reduce her to tears because that has never been her experience.
As a man, this makes them realize the underlying dynamics and then want to protect them even more. Things WW generally have always had and take for granted. They mention the loyalty (as black people would say ride or die) and how BW when they love and TRUST you will have your back in any way you need them to and do for you not because you require or demand it, but because of the love and trust and the happiness you bring into their lives.
Example: Supermodel Naomi Campbell, who is a strong, independent BW and I heard in an interview of this celebrity WM who was his favorite supermodel He say her because she made men just want to take care of and protect her. They could see her strength was just a shield.
In a documentary, I saw years ago, an AA man in a relationship with a BW, said in the beginning of their relationship, he said something and she immediately got angry. And instead of coming back at her with all his masculine energy, he realized she was in a fight or flight mode, a basic human instinct of self protection. He noticed how BM tend to be hyper masculine and realizing with her living in a world of hyper masculinity, fight or flight mode would be her natural go to.
So he suppressed his masculine response down a notch and used another approach and became sensitive to what she may be feeling and why. He said, “I’m sorry” and asked “As your boyfriend, how could I make the situation better? Her reaction was a surprised look and she responded by commencing to break down and cry. He hugged her and she cried like a baby on his shoulder. No one had ever cared about her feelings as a human being. They have been married over 20 years.
As the Otis Redding song says “Try a little tenderness” and add patience & understanding.
There are many successful BM/BW marriages because there are BM who do that for BW they are in a relationship with. And BW respond accordingly because it was a give/receive relationship from BOTH parties.
However, men in the black society chastise and condemn men like this them and call them simps. (ie Russell Wilson). btw, I name celebrities as examples because you wouldn’t be familiar with the names of all the other BM/BW I can name, like my parents, aunts and uncles who were married until death of one by old age). Today, they would have called my dad and uncles simps. smh
All human beings will act and react based on the environment in which they lived their foundational years. All human beings will go into fight or flight mode when they feel threatened. Humans beings will respond and come out of that mode when they can genuinely TRUST the person and the environment they are in. If a trust had been broken many times, they then put up an even bigger wall for protection and become leery of trusting again. That is just human nature. This nature can be also found in other living beings as well.
Men are the providers and protectors of the women (mothers and daughters) of his race. You are the keepers. So each time you want to condemn black women and compare her to WW, always remember and don’t ever forget, their experiences as human beings in America are totally different historically, socially, emotionally, and psychologically.
And just as black men have specific needs as men in this society, so do black women. (NEEDS, NOT WANTS!)
If and when BM and or BW find someone of another race who loves them, just say why you love that particular person without comparing and vilifying your own race of women and men as some kind of justification for your choice. And if you only love them by default of not getting what you want from the blk person, then that’s not fair to the WW or man to know he or she is only your choice because they couldn’t have a successful relationship with one of their own.
Well said, and thank you for this.
Well said ! It’s pretty long so so the ones that need to read it may not. The illiteracy rate is pretty high in that demographic
Many thanks for this, as a Black African Ugandan woman I've learned a lot...
@@Oxygen257 however I despise the statement one of their own,
Well said thur n thur. Maybe u need to start your own "platform"?
To be honest, I’ve experienced the same thing with white women as a white man. Still ended up marrying a white woman. So….Yeah, anything can happen.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for not running
I’m with you on that. I’m a hairstylist retired. I saw a young woman and told her how pretty her hair . That girl told me she didn’t go that way. She was stupid I was insulted. At the time married about 30 yrs. I feel the same as you do. Good women are not at the clubs.
And neither are good men. 💯
I concur with being shown leadership before handing over the reins. I prefer to be submissive, but must have faith in other’s abilities first. Does this man keep his head cool under pressure, can he act decisively and logically, or will he falter and I must step forward out of necessity? There’s so much nuance to complementary partnerships.
Precisely. All good points!
Lovely! Exactly my thoughts.
The man is the head; you are not partners.
As someone who grew up in a country with 100% white population, I remember coming to UK aged 19, and I was blown away by black women’s bold confidence. I was impressed.
I loved it. In my country, us girls are taught to be humble.
But after a while I started to grow tired of the constant drama, loudmouth attitude and all the headache inducing sass.
I made friends with all the quiet black girls who were like me, and I had to let go of the drama queens, as I couldn’t handle them long term as friends, they were exhausting.
say less
Imagine what we have to go through when our wagons are hitched to those friends you distanced yourself from. Imagine no peace, loneliness, high BP, liver and kidney diseases from excess friendship with J, Wray & Nephew.
Arrogance and delusional is more like it
Nicole where are you from if you don't mind me asking
I moved to London from South Africa in 1996 and I never ever dated a black British woman. They are too much for me unfortunately 😢
@@southernafricanboy4148
Poland
everyone complaining about how black women are but noone is addressing who caused them the damage. Yes, healing is a personal responsibility BUT besides all the pain BW endure by their own brothers there's patriarchy and poverty which keeps them in the toxic projections of their pain.
the fatherless home can be one argument but also consider that 8/10 BW are abused by their own race. the cultural norms of also expecting BW to fix whats wrong in the community (including their "attitude") should be part of the analysis
True. Black American women have gone through stuff. Healing should be done not pointing fingers but holding hands.
@windsurfer8824 all black women, not just black American because if you trace some left the Caribbean/Africa (sometimes escaping abuse) to pursue a better life in USA. So I would say BW and not specify american
Excuses. Black Women think it's cute to be mean and rude. Doesn't have anything to do with Patriarchy. Black Women have never experienced true Patriarchy. There are Women in other countries who live under Patriarchy and they are more feminine than Black Women.
Whoever said WW are less dramatic than BW is CAPPIN! Women will be women no matter the color or race, as much as some may not want to accept this, the truth is there's masculine type women in every ethnicity and nationality but most of the modern women discussion topics evolve mostly around mostly black women on social media to include several podcasts. It's not just black women that can be troublesome, the "sisterhood" knows no color, it's a WESTERN WOMEN issue.
I absolutely agree.
I dated a WW and a HW who were very dramatic. The WW was the worst. I gave her one too many chances. She lives in a different state. Although it went against my gut feelings, I agreed to let her come visit me. That was the last time because she irritated me to the point I kicked her out. Sent her to the airport in an Uber a day early than when she was supposed to leave. I paid for the ticket change because I was that miserable.
A woman will be a woman and a man will be a man.
Not about drama, it’s about a nasty attitude.
Exactly.
Also to add, I’m a very feminine woman. I was raised with both parents in the home whom were married. (“Were” because my mom has passed on May she RIP). Anyway, dating was very difficult for me with black men. Too many were wired in a more “modern” way unlike what I expected as a traditional woman. Men that expected 50/50 relationships although they never helped with traditional feminine roles in the household. These same men would demand me to be submissive while still expecting me to pay 50% of the household bills, plus cook, clean and take care of a child. How can you expect a woman to be soft and feminine in a situation like this? A lot of black men do not create the environment for a woman to feel comfortable and secure so that she can rest in her femininity. This is a recurring problem that needs to be addressed. Instead of complaining do better and women will fall in line. The black community puts the value of a woman on her accomplishments while other races value their women for just being a woman. BTW I am married to a black man with traditional values. I have no problem submitting to my husband because he is a traditional man whom created an environment for me to rest in my femininity and be a woman.
AMEN TO EVERYTHING YOU SAID!!!!! I absolutely agree. By the way, my condolences on your mom leaving us. Nothing like a mother's love. Thanks for contributing.
I agree I actually had a black man tell me, “He wanted to break me because I grew up in a two parent home and he wants me to suffer like women from a single-parent home.” I've never discriminated against anyone, but I have had a better engagement and relationships with men outside of my race.
@@try8042 I hope you left that situation ASAP! That is just horrible!
A lot of Blk Women today expect a traditional man while not being traditional women, which is another reason why Blk Men tend to date outside of their race a lot. I've been married to a Blk Woman for 11 years by the way that is extremely traditional. Sadly, thats not how a lot of modern day Blk Women are. They are too busy chasing degrees and wanting to be in charge. Blk Men who date out seem to have less of these problems with other races of women, hence, why they tend to not have much of a problem providing for other races of women.
While I agree with what you said about the state of circumstances why isn't it a woman's fault if she's masculine? Nobody grants that same pass to weak men. Regardless of circumstances the individual is responsible for their disposition, teachings only go but so far. Being a feminine man or masculine woman is ultimately a self issue regardless of your environment
Okay, so now, do a video about the nerdy, dark-skinned black girl who didn't have a curvy body in high school and who was ignored by all the hot athletic black guys. She shows up to the 20 year high school reunion, looks great at 38, and has those guys trying to holler at her now with their receding hairlines and 5 baby mamas.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@princellasmith7562 who cares? The boys that were skinny and boring in school got no play either. You have no point.
@blackdrument the point is you wasn't the only one rejected, crybaby. Plenty of skinny boys got play and still do, maybe not you.
@@princellasmith7562 that type of is rare... and you damn well know this.. do not deflect !!
They just trying to hit 😂. No such thing as a hot 38 year old women
As a black woman I don't blame black men for not wanting black woman. So many are taught that bad boys are the cool ones and nice guys suck.
I will be the first to tell you that thugs are not cool. I have been down the " ride or die chick" road and it has destroyed years of my life. I'm very thankful for my nice sweetie who is black
Why are so many of them into crime though?
Then don't blame the black women, who don't want black men. So many black men are taught that light/white skin, a straight or loose curl pattern and a fat ass is cool and desirable. Most of the good black women are shunned because they aren't pale with a big ass. Goes both ways. Life is a two-way street. Every black male on the internet including, broke ones expect a Beyonce to fall all over them paying 50-50 or more.
too bad your sweetie gotta used up 304, I hope he leaves you and gets someone he truly deserves.
@@Smoothballoon LOL! A 304 is someone that's like people such as Sexy Red. Second, since you don't know anything about him, you have a lot of nerve saying that one. Guess your third baby daddy spent your child support.
Plus, considering that he's not a thug or fool ( obviously your type), he already knows himself and who he has as his lady. When you have that in your life, lay off with dumb terms like 304
And u don’t deserve to be in the presence of other blk women
My experience with giving other women compliments have been the same as yours.
It's disheartening.
Maybe they think y'all hitting on them? Why not say where did you get that whatever it looks gorgeous? What salon did your hair?
@ctruth6185 I usually only ever do, compliment the hair, nails, shoes, or outfit. And, I have, at times, thought of your possible 'scenario.' However, as that I am an older woman (Gram 6x), it's not very likely. And, even at that...they don't act surprised, uncomfortable, or awkward; as one might be expected to act if put in such a position as you propose. No. They behave rude, hateful, snotty, nasty, bitter, & abhorrent. No excuse, really. I've held doors for these same type women & their behaviour is disgustingly entitled & rude. As if it is my 'old Black a$$ job to hold the door for them & be grateful.' It's most likely not a "me" & my perception problem. Now, where your theory gets disseminated is: you are expecting ME to assume that "maybe" they think we're 'hitting on them' & never, for 1 second hold them to the same standard that THEY, COULD POSSIBLY make the SAME effort to ASSUME that, "Maybe this old lady is just trying to be kind."
Exhaustively making 'what-if' excuses for poor behaviour just fosters more nasty hateful results.
I have complimented many women and now that I think on it not all of those compliments were appreciated. I have no idea why. I can live on the high of a compliment for days!
My brother-in-law dated a black girl for 2 years. Constant drama and break ups, mostly over financial issues like her losing jobs and going on expensive vacations (by herself btw). The final nail in the coffin was her asking for a $10K engagement ring. The entire family breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally over.
Sounds like BS. Her losing jobs… he couldn’t afford anything or..???
Yeah
she also could have just as easily been white. She was obviously financially irresponsible, period.
Listen other cultures protect and raise their women. My grandmother my mother and I was always told to protect black boys and black men. We are tired and I am so tired of this same conversation while everyone gets richer and we are not moving. I have dated outside of my race and I will never talk bad of black men because I had a father and 4 brothers.
t I wish black women would realize is that many of us are too loud and it's a turn off .
It is absolutely a turnoff. It's almost like some of these people just crave attention.