I agree tiffany!! I turned 25 this year and i started dating at 19 …. I do not have sex in the dating phase …I do not judge ppl who do, im just not brave enough….i need you to be my boyfriend….I just have to protect my heart
I applaud the younger sister for dropping the dating apps. I think many men have lost the ability to approach a sister and accept rejection. You can't know everything about a brother by meeting, but you can get a feel.
I started dating my husband when I was about 47 and he was 51. I had one child at the time and he had 7 grown children. We’re been married now for 12 going on 13 years. We have good times and rough times, but nothing violent. Ladies take your time improve yourself and be self sufficient and then find a mate and you don’t then you’ll still be fine😊
Interesting conversation! Ive recently turned 70 and have always met people through dating apps, very successfully -- until the last 7 or 8 years. Older men have no game! LOL! They either don't know how to navigate apps well or theyre too lazy to put forth any real effort. I'd prefer to meet brothers in real life but the older you get, the more difficult it is to find them. I'm retired and I'm not into church so not sure where to go to meet people.
I’m interested if someone could provide a logical reason why it is that men are expected to primarily finance the dating phase in this day and age. Especially during the initial phase both parties are still trying to figure out if they actually want to pursue a relationship so there’s no obligation to each other yet, it’s been expressed by plenty of women that paying their portion of a date alleviates any sense of “owing” the guy “something” because he paid for her, and most importantly in most cases we’re talking about two employed adults that should be able to finance their own night out. And honestly from a man’s perspective it as least demonstrates that the person you’re on a date with has also “invested” in this potential relationship and that you’re just not being used financially.
Regarding paying for a date: Was talking on the phone to a guy i met on a dating app and the FIRST THING he said to me was, "I don't do meals." ?? I asked what that meant. His response: "You take different women out for meals over and over, and if it doesn't result in intimacy or a relationship, you don't get anything for your money." It was honest.... But damn... turned me off immediately.
This was a great conversation. I unfortunately, am in the dating pool in my 50's and have been meeting a lot of these men on these dating sites. Kelsey is spot on about what people seem to be looking for on these site. It seems it is a place to connect for casual sex which is so disappointing. I have to develop feelings and get to know more about a man. Just like Tiffany said. When I date a man, I don't believe in having sex with multiple men, I'm just not built that way. And like Kelsey, when I am interested in something more meaningful. Most men on these dating sites will have you think that they're interested in something more by trying to display the qualities that you initially tell them that you're interested in a relationship. It's just really frustrating to get acquainted with a man and wonder if this person is worth your time and serious about a relationship to then slowly distance themself.
I’m 67 years old. Back in the day one night stands were, commonly, considered indecent for females - not for males. These days one night stands are more acceptable for both females and males. I have a 48 year old close male friend who doesn’t consider women “loose” if they have sex with him on their first dates. Times have changed in that regard. He also shared that he doesn’t kiss every woman who he has sex with. I was surprised to know that. I’ve never had sex with a man that I didn’t kiss. Lawdy. lol - the changes in generations.
I think it's a mistake to tell a man what u are looking for. My response to that question is ...show me what u have and I will let u know if I want it. Otherwise u risk the man tailoring his behavior to what u say u are looking for.
14:20 personally, I prefer that I pay my portion, and the person I’m dating pays for their portion. I personally dislike, in the dating phase, a situation in which one person pays for both people. If someone pays for me, I feel less comfortable ordering what I want, and I want to enjoy my dinner experience in full. In the situation of paying for someone else, I don’t want to risk them having more expensive tastes than I may be willing to fund at that moment. While I’m less bothered by a 50/50 split, it can still fall into the same two aforementioned situations I don’t like, just to a smaller extent. Once I’m in a relationship, then we just play it by ear with regard to who pays for a meal, with the context being that I’m not getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a job.
I agree with the young lady! I will not date a guy if he brings up who is paying for dinner and her point of view is very similar to mine and I am a Gen X-er
oh lawd, sista! who were these 'intellectually educated and sophisticated bums' that you allowed to come into your life and waste your time in 'the dating game'?! if i were still in my 40s (2004-2013) and had the opportunity to meet someone like you back then...huh, trust and believe, it would be on and poppin' off between us...and then i'd be 'cross-slapped wide awoke' from the reality that it would all be a fantasy in my undeserving mind!!...but you just keep on talkin' the way that you are on here(comedically cussin' and slang talkin') because it's letting me hear just how much of an easy going and fun loving person you really are...oh, the discussions that we would have had on the topics of the day in that 'relationship'!...lastly, you have got to get angela in on one of these 'courting sitdowns' to get her perspective on these issues too...can't wait for the next one, ms. cross.
Good talk it is different out here. I'm a widow will be 10 yes this July. I'm in a situation wth someone from my past, and it's just sex we both are ok with that. I think I want more so I have fell back a bit,but these guys out just think we screwing first time out the gate, at least court me a lil bit dang. I might want it out the gate too but come on let's get to know each other a bit. Idk imma wait on it, it's coming.
This would be a fair rule until you remember that women typically all but refuse to "make the first move" and ask a guy on a date. Not saying that it doesn't ever happen, but more times than not men are expected to ask the woman out.
The "meeting a man's Mother" analogy is so stupid and the reason why the Black Community struggles with dating. His relationship with his FATHER is what matters...other races know this!
I agree tiffany!! I turned 25 this year and i started dating at 19 …. I do not have sex in the dating phase …I do not judge ppl who do, im just not brave enough….i need you to be my boyfriend….I just have to protect my heart
I applaud the younger sister for dropping the dating apps. I think many men have lost the ability to approach a sister and accept rejection. You can't know everything about a brother by meeting, but you can get a feel.
I started dating my husband when I was about 47 and he was 51. I had one child at the time and he had 7 grown children.
We’re been married now for 12 going on 13 years. We have good times and rough times, but nothing violent.
Ladies take your time improve yourself and be self sufficient and then find a mate and you don’t then you’ll still be fine😊
These gems are wonderful. I love Tiffany, I actually lean in to her whenever she is talking and I leave more informed than when I began.
Ms. Beenie reminded me of my granny. Bath times were vicious as she told me to keep pocket book CLEAN & CLOSED.
I love love love this podcast, just found it today and moving on to my 4th episode ❤love
Same I found it this morning now on my 3rd episode brilliant conversations.
I love this podcast and the opportunity to be a fly on the wall and just listen and learn.
Great conversation between the generations😊
Interesting conversation! Ive recently turned 70 and have always met people through dating apps, very successfully -- until the last 7 or 8 years. Older men have no game! LOL! They either don't know how to navigate apps well or theyre too lazy to put forth any real effort. I'd prefer to meet brothers in real life but the older you get, the more difficult it is to find them. I'm retired and I'm not into church so not sure where to go to meet people.
I’m interested if someone could provide a logical reason why it is that men are expected to primarily finance the dating phase in this day and age. Especially during the initial phase both parties are still trying to figure out if they actually want to pursue a relationship so there’s no obligation to each other yet, it’s been expressed by plenty of women that paying their portion of a date alleviates any sense of “owing” the guy “something” because he paid for her, and most importantly in most cases we’re talking about two employed adults that should be able to finance their own night out. And honestly from a man’s perspective it as least demonstrates that the person you’re on a date with has also “invested” in this potential relationship and that you’re just not being used financially.
This discussion is so thoughtful and nuanced. Wonderful!
Great conversation! My people called a promiscuous woman a floozy.
This was a great conversation. I love the transparency. 😊❤
I love Ms. Teenie. ❤
I loved Ms. T! 😂 A lot of my dating philosophies match hers even though I definitely disagree with certain things. Loved this episode. ❤
Regarding paying for a date: Was talking on the phone to a guy i met on a dating app and the FIRST THING he said to me was, "I don't do meals." ?? I asked what that meant. His response: "You take different women out for meals over and over, and if it doesn't result in intimacy or a relationship, you don't get anything for your money." It was honest.... But damn... turned me off immediately.
OMG. That would have turned me off too. So he's expecting sex in exchange for paying for a meal....smh
So basically if he finds you sexually attractive, he expects you to reciprocate by doing it. Either the 1st date or by the 3rd for him.
Love this! I saw Tiffany in this outfit in the Tour’e interview and it is 🔥🔥🔥
This was a great conversation. I unfortunately, am in the dating pool in my 50's and have been meeting a lot of these men on these dating sites. Kelsey is spot on about what people seem to be looking for on these site. It seems it is a place to connect for casual sex which is so disappointing. I have to develop feelings and get to know more about a man. Just like Tiffany said. When I date a man, I don't believe in having sex with multiple men, I'm just not built that way. And like Kelsey, when I am interested in something more meaningful. Most men on these dating sites will have you think that they're interested in something more by trying to display the qualities that you initially tell them that you're interested in a relationship. It's just really frustrating to get acquainted with a man and wonder if this person is worth your time and serious about a relationship to then slowly distance themself.
Know your worth!
This was such a good episode.
This was a wonderful conversation!!
I’m 67 years old. Back in the day one night stands were, commonly, considered indecent for females - not for males. These days one night stands are more acceptable for both females and males. I have a 48 year old close male friend who doesn’t consider women “loose” if they have sex with him on their first dates. Times have changed in that regard.
He also shared that he doesn’t kiss every woman who he has sex with. I was surprised to know that. I’ve never had sex with a man that I didn’t kiss. Lawdy. lol - the changes in generations.
🤔 So kissing is more intimate than penetration? It definitely IS a new day. 😅
Beautiful Tiffany❤🙏🏾
"....and then I'm testing it........"
I think it's a mistake to tell a man what u are looking for. My response to that question is ...show me what u have and I will let u know if I want it. Otherwise u risk the man tailoring his behavior to what u say u are looking for.
14:20 personally, I prefer that I pay my portion, and the person I’m dating pays for their portion.
I personally dislike, in the dating phase, a situation in which one person pays for both people. If someone pays for me, I feel less comfortable ordering what I want, and I want to enjoy my dinner experience in full. In the situation of paying for someone else, I don’t want to risk them having more expensive tastes than I may be willing to fund at that moment.
While I’m less bothered by a 50/50 split, it can still fall into the same two aforementioned situations I don’t like, just to a smaller extent.
Once I’m in a relationship, then we just play it by ear with regard to who pays for a meal, with the context being that I’m not getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a job.
👁️❤️ this Podcast✨🙌🏾💯😊
Great conversation
I agree with the young lady! I will not date a guy if he brings up who is paying for dinner and her point of view is very similar to mine and I am a Gen X-er
oh lawd, sista! who were these 'intellectually educated and sophisticated bums' that you allowed to come into your life and waste your time in 'the dating game'?! if i were still in my 40s (2004-2013) and had the opportunity to meet someone like you back then...huh, trust and believe, it would be on and poppin' off between us...and then i'd be 'cross-slapped wide awoke' from the reality that it would all be a fantasy in my undeserving mind!!...but you just keep on talkin' the way that you are on here(comedically cussin' and slang talkin') because it's letting me hear just how much of an easy going and fun loving person you really are...oh, the discussions that we would have had on the topics of the day in that 'relationship'!...lastly, you have got to get angela in on one of these 'courting sitdowns' to get her perspective on these issues too...can't wait for the next one, ms. cross.
The young woman is very smart.
Good talk it is different out here. I'm a widow will be 10 yes this July. I'm in a situation wth someone from my past, and it's just sex we both are ok with that. I think I want more so I have fell back a bit,but these guys out just think we screwing first time out the gate, at least court me a lil bit dang. I might want it out the gate too but come on let's get to know each other a bit. Idk imma wait on it, it's coming.
Whoever asks for the first date pays. After that each may take turns paying.
This would be a fair rule until you remember that women typically all but refuse to "make the first move" and ask a guy on a date. Not saying that it doesn't ever happen, but more times than not men are expected to ask the woman out.
The "pocketbook" statement ain't it. It is waaay too transactional. I'm glad I'm married to my friend.
The
quit giving men all the power- know your wealth...
The "meeting a man's Mother" analogy is so stupid and the reason why the Black Community struggles with dating. His relationship with his FATHER is what matters...other races know this!