Thanks to Evy for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again TH-cam.com/lewishowes
Yes! Love Evy and you, Lowes. What really hit home for me was when Evy shared how volunteering with the other survivors cleaning up helped to heal the trauma together, and that each of us needs a different form of therapy. Thank you! Keep up your great work! 🙏
The covert narcissist is the worst to be in a relationship with because everyone else thinks they are so kind and giving. They will help strangers but do nothing for their family. They volunteer to get praise, not for the sake of helping others.
Ive been learning about the spirit, aka energy body/biofield/chi/Qi. And quantum physics, but only in reference to these... but yeah! Be careful with emotions. That's how it begins. Thats how they get in. Have control over emotions and practice love. Be like a lion and only connect with your own.
@@Fred.Carpenter they are not 98% of the population. That’s ridiculous. I’m talking NPD and on the extreme end. That is a once in a lifetime experience.
@@4787fhjjk It truly is once in a lifetime. At least I hope it is. I'm desperate to find someone in my vicinity who has, as you brilliantly put it, "danced with a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath", just to look them in the eye and give a knowing nod of validation and shared (and absolutely bizarre) experience and trauma. Because I've given up trying to explain it to people and seeing on their face, that they don't get it. Even mental health professionals, who may have read the recipe, but haven't actually tasted it. And it is such a specific taste and trauma. Before I "went to the dance", nobody could have described it to me in a way that would have given me even a 10% understanding.of the nature of these "people". Anyway. Cheers Take care of yourself and keep your eyes open.
We are part of a larger organism. The organism is suffering from a rapid takeover of malignancy. Almost every single person I have contact with behaves in narcissistic and malicious ways. And when they aren't, they are waiting for energetic cords or a moon cycle. They are organized and clearly have a mission. So either I'm a legitimate hostage or your statistics have changed.
Narcissism is a real thing, I lived with one for 11 years. To give you a feeling of what it's like try walking on quicksand, no matter what move you make or word you say you sink a little deeper.
Evy Poumpouras's advice is spot on and truly resonates with me. As they say, "Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you." Thanks for sharing such valuable wisdom, Evy! 🌟
But her ideas about no one being special are absurd and trauma based. And irrational. Being special isn't about being better tha. Other people or about other people not being special. It's about appreciating a loving the fact that you have been uniquely created to fulfil your own amazing life, and that the universe has actually called you forth to do what you can in life, that's a very beautiful and special thing, we all have it, and when you grasp it fully you will always treat people better, and alwaya be of more service. Being trained to feel like "you're nothing special" is actually narcisstic abuse. @@lewishowes
99.9% of people are self absorbed and not interested in someone else’s feelings so MOST PEOPLE BRING OUT THE STRESS IN YOU, NOT THE BEST IN YOU. You can only control your own behavior.
Listen when someone has drama in their life, it could also be because they are just suffering in this shitty life and isolated without a lot of help. Doesn’t make them a narcissist. Usually it makes them a target for narcissist.
What she said was “their drama will become your drama.” She’s not wrong (coming from someone who’s been through a lot and the waves aren’t necessarily a rolling sea-YET!) I’ve learnt to have high standards for myself. If I want to be better I need to associate with better. I’m doing the work. I stopped playing the victim a long time ago. I know things will continue to get better if I keep working and never stop putting one foot in front of the other.
Most dangerous psychopath I have ever met got custody of my daughter! They will destroy everyone around because they are demoniac! He showed his true colors but I was unable to pick on it as I had no clue! This skills should be thought in schools!!!
@@pandacutie4557 Hle had a mom that he lived with. He was a teen and only visited occasionally. His dad, my ex, barely knew him because he'd made so little effort to get to know him. I wasn't equipped to raise a 17 year old autistic boy.
I grew up with not only a narcissistic mother but maternal grandmother too and no father on the scene. The problem with people like me is when we get into relationships, the red flags are there and you do get some gut instinct about it but the behaviour they are showcasing is also very familiar because it’s all you’ve known, so we constantly give people the benefit of the doubt
Im sad having a narc daughter! I hope for maturity and care every year, but nothing. Its hard on a parent cause I just cant cut her off and move, Im her Mom! So I live with heartache and wait for the next crisis phone call!😢
Was that sarcasm? I mean I was on this video for guidance on how to spot harmful personality types, but that discussion only began somewhere around the middle of the video.
Yes, refusal of communication, lies or withholding truth, dismissal, disrespect, blaming, anger are all part of the red flags!!! Run … to protect your sanity even your life!!! When someone shows you ‘who they are the first time, BELIEVE THEM!!!
I agree with you a lack of communication or poor communication has ruined many relationships. People think that being vulnerable is a weakness. No, it is actually a strength ,and allows people to better understand you not be angry let their guard down to in turn end up giving you what you want more importantly what you need we are Sometimes Hot behind walls and barriers not letting other people in which is a very thing we need to do to get our needs met
When my au pair who had become my sister-in-law took it upon herself to create the best birthday parties, gifts and excludive trips with and for my daughters without even consulting me I tried to State my boundaries that I needed to be asked first in regard to my children- she thought I was only thinking about myself. She cut me out of the family circle and influenced my daughter emotionally and physically away from me saying I was the one who was over reacting. This to me is evil making.
"Their drama is your drama"-Ex-boyfriend always getting into fights-telling people to pullover-getting pulled over by cops-I'm always in the car when this happens... 15 years later he wanted to get back together!...NOPE...NOT EVEN AS A FRIEND.
These people are everywhere. Doesn’t matter if rich, poor, good looking or ugly. It’s shocking when it’s someone you trusted most or closest to you. Once you educate yourself to the level of spotting them and learn how to move on, that’s strength, power, and wisdom. You win💪🏻😉✨
True and it is sad however it is rooted in childhood and unresolved trauma and instead of being victimised they become the victimiser, it's horrible because they can do alot of damage to others. It's like you said it's just better to educate yourself and move on, noone is infallible to these types as they're good at making but a little bit of insight and observation can really help one dodge a bullet so to speak or if it's family at least play with a different rulebook once you understand their mind games.
My mother is a covert narcissist. It took me until 45 years old to fully get the picture, but knew something wasnt right since childhood. Half the problem, is the self-doubt, its part of their abusive bag of tricks to spin you in circles with sweet / mean cycles. I have since cut her from my life.
1. Your circle matters- curate it 2. Be instrumental and team goal driven 3. Recognize the 4 animal archetypes 4. Notice the self focused individuals-red flag 5. Label the behavior not the person.
self soothing for a child is one of the most traumatic things a parent can do to there child (it reeks havoc on the nervous system), they dont yet have the capacity to create there own resolve and they need the love and guidance of the parent.
She's next to the child, providing emotional support and positive reinforcement, while encouraging her to investigate her environment, learn about her world, and solve problems. All of that will develop vital, life skills, and develop a strong sense of self. THAT'S how parents raise people who are able to processs their emotions, while becoming intrinsically motivated to succeed...and be CONFIDENT...rather than be anxiety-ridden and constantly seeking external validation. The goal is to raise children who love themselves, know how to overcome challenges, and think about people other than themselves. If you want to raise children who grow into non-functional, highly co-dependent adults, put them in an overly protective coccoon, never let them learn how to self-regulate and/or process their own emotions, and solve all of their problems for them. You'd essentially be guaranteeing that they will battle anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem...for life. (They also may never leave the parental nest.)
Agreed. Everything else she was talking about was good but the whole ignore your baby thing has been proven to do real harm. It's traumatic for a child and does serious harm. Even the animals know this.
And not to mention that ptsd and rumination is an actual thing. Covert narcissists treat people poorly behind closed doors and gaslight them in public.
Listen also Abraham Hicks short videos. She talks baout different topics people ask about different topics, As a spiritual being you may be inspired that there are other ways to find strength, be in the higher vibration. Usuall hobbies put people in place of happiness and higher vibration.
Yes. I sat and quietly explained to my family what "passive aggressive"; "gas lighting" and "Narcissism" is. I didn't point fingers or blame. It was obvious. I told them about what these terms meant; and that I was unwilling to deal with those behaviors; that said, I had nothing but love for family members. They did a step back. That's okay, we now have an UNDERSTANDING. They still contact me, and I them; but the least bit of emotional garbage and I will call them out where they stand. Not angrily; but very clinically. And positively reinforce all the good ones; cleverness, resourcefulness, care for others. my "mental disorders" were finally diagnosed. PTSD. I deal with that. In other words; I'm sore from being hit. I had to deal with being burned. And walk forward without the upset. I really enjoy what you said about parenting. My daughter got support...not fluff. No candy for tantrums. DEAL with it, work it out. Instruction in foreign language. YES. Don't isolate people by hampering them. Being able to communicate with other people is KEY. Knowing a few languages really really helps. It also communicates that no person is an island. We NEED others.
did you read Jenny McCarthy's book.. she helped her son who was diagnosed autistic.. no gluten was one thing I heard her say along with anti-candida diet/antifungals.. check food allergies too..nutritional deficiencies, heavy metal detox, essential fatty acids for brain function..
Autism is NOT a disease you can cure. It is a frame in which an operating system is different from yours. Society has put a "norm" as to how we are supposed to behave. If we don't fit that "behave" "something is wrong"... says who?. Granted we can dimish outside stimulation. That's a HUGE one. But I'm not going to give my already hyper child more sugar and zero sleep. That's all you are doing when I see those suggestions. You are stating the obvious. Why not teach and accept and embrace Autism instead of looking at it like a fault or flaw.
Dude, babies do not “self soothe”. They’re wired for maternal (especially) skin to skin contact, and to learn to trust the world CARES about their needs. They build their nervous system adaptations from their primary interactions with caregivers. Picking up a crying baby to reassure them is NOT spoiling them. Now, having said that…, there are times when a baby can learn they are still safe even if you need to put them in a bouncy -where they can see you- to get a quick shower or wash some clothes or bottles. But it shouldn’t be for long when they’re very young (under 8-10 months, say). Never let them “cry it out” alone in a room at night. That’s just cruel.
You’ve never had a baby who learned how to be manipulative very early. I couldn’t put my girl down for more than a few minutes..she had to have all of the attention all of the time. The doc told me to let her cry it out. So I did. She was right there in the room with us while we retrained her. It took only two evenings, and she learned that she could not have all of the attention all of the time. I was exhausted, at my wits end, and was finally able to take a shower, eat my own breakfast, do the laundry, etc. Some babies ARE manipulative, and have to be retrained. This self-centeredness is inborn. My eldest was so jealous of her new sister that she went out of her way to make the younger miserable all of their growing years…and the younger was so frightened of her that she never came to me. When I found out years later, I was heartbroken.
This video came as a confirmation for me. I recently removed the "consistent drama" flavor of people from my life. Before, I genuinely believed that I had a health issue. Once I cut ties, though, my energy levels returned, I could focus on my projects, and I rarely feel chronic stress anymore. I thought I was an island, unaffected by other people's affinity for drama. Boy, was I wrong.
It's amazing the recovery when cutting out toxicity from your life. I recently found a photo of me 14 years ago when I was in the last phase of my 10 year abusive marriage. I look older in that pic than I do now 14 years later! --Just by cutting out the toxic that was literally an agent of satan to destroy me. I even got near death ill for almost a year after leaving that situation and I still look younger now than then! This actually may be why predators will destroy the past and photos of their victims (which he'd destroyed all of mine that he could) because the before/after photos do speak for themselves 1000's of words. 💔
It's amazing the recovery when cutting out toxicity from your life. I recently found a photo of me 14 years ago when I was in the last phase of my 10 year abusive marriage. I look older in that pic than I do now 14 years later! --Just by cutting out the toxic that was literally an agent of satan to destroy me. I even got near death ill for almost a year after leaving that situation and I still look younger now than then! This actually may be why predators will destroy the past and photos of their victims (which he'd destroyed all of mine that he could) because the before/after photos do speak for themselves 1000's of words. 💔
In that area, I have learned to give other people, grace, mercy, kindness, and forgiveness because I know within myself I am a work in progress, and I don’t always have it together and always make the right decisions. When I make a mess I step back be quiet, self check and clean up my mess. It doesn’t make me a bad person or anyone else. It just makes us human.
I Spoke to both of my children in English while the rest of the environment around us was 100% Spanish. Today, they are 14 and 7, fluent bilingual and ready to learn a third language. They never struggled, it is just the best way to go 😊🎉
Energy drainers who will not take accountability for their actions or refuse to be responsible must go! My life is important to me, and I am a humanitarian, empath, and human rights advocate. I matter! 😊❤
There were signs of abuse before my dad was diagnosed with cancer but it's my mother's name would have been fixed she could have taken care of my dad she didn't need nothing she didn't need my brother in that house with his p*** and his damn bear and it's over spending it was horrible these people were overtaken by adult people they needed and my sister was always drunk over there and insisting that my mother beat her punching bag for all her woes both my brother my sister needed to be gone spell love time in jail honest to God yes absolutely the time in jail and maybe a little training on how to treat elderly people and they're not even elderly they're just older. I was told this after human rights very important and I believe that humans should try to stay innocent as long as they can kids naturally want to stay innocent as long as they can and look what they have to contend with miserable sick too much for the human mind
Exactly, you can tell when a new friend starts asking you very intrusive questions without fear or remorse despite seeing your reluctance to answer... they keep prying into your privacy. It's a sign of poor upbringing ...a need to dominate and make you vunerable to unforseen attacks.
She is such a self-aware speaker. I love how she redirected the personality question to a framework she was familiar with, and then later referenced the manner in which she redirected that question. Sharp mind.
@@Sabrina-LosAngeles I've know of her for years as well but i guess i wasn't ready back then, she didn't resonate with me. I recently found her again and now i'm binge-watching all her interviews. I need more of that energy in my life🔥
No actually you don't the top child therapist Dr. Siggy, you can look her up. States that when your child is having a tantrum or going through an emotion that they cannot control, it is best to let them have the tantrum and not to intervene or try to stop it. Because you are preventing them from creating the neural pathways in their brain. They need to be able to control their emotions later in life. You're hindering them not helping them when you try to stop them when they are in a tantrum or in an emotional uproar. Because you are soothing that you are not teaching them themselves. How to soothe that. And they are not creating the necessary pathways in their brain. Neurologically to control their emotions to control themselves essentially and that's where we get all these people that are over emotional and like myself I am over emotional just putting it out there. And people who fly off the handle and anger and throwing things in relationships and narcissists. This is why those people exist because their parents are not letting them feel their tantrum steal their emotions and letting them feel it into complete fruition and then when they're done saying oh you are very upset. This is why you were upset. Now you don't let them hurt themselves or others or kick the door or kick the parent. But you got to let them do it on their own because that's the only way they learn. No parent is perfect. Show me the perfect parent and I'll show you somebody who's somebody who's a full of bull crap.Is anybody anybody who criticizes anybody's parenting is wrong. Unless they're physically sexually emotionally abusing their child, that is the only instance where you are a crappy parent. But unless those things are happening, we're human. How about you give other humans a break and do your research before you run off at the mouth Thank you and have a nice day
She said something that really resonated with me about people that stay on their phone, aren't connecting, or spending too much time in a negative mindset: When we aren't connecting with people, we feel less empathy, we fear or don't like the other, & we are more likely to cause harm. She went on to pinpoint some of these mindsets. "You can sell anything to yourself if you want to".
I’ve been blessed to raise 2 amazing teenagers, through an unwanted divorce. I gave my son and daughter boundaries, discipline, guidance and a ton of unconditional love and support. I am receiving a lot of great advice from this conversation but I wouldn’t ask a Secret Service agent for parenting advice:)
This is soo validating for me. Because in the relationship I was in - whenever there was drama I just wanted to sit and think and find a solution. But the partner I had was always looking for shame, guilt, and blame. It makes sense why I got tired of him.
As a 13th Generation American and a 5th generation Californian, I just wish you New Yorkers would stay in NY rather than bring your tribal, arrogant, uncouth selves to The West where you mess our vibe and disrespect our culture. But yes, I love rude, entitled, foul people when I'm in New York where filth is the vibe.
What my father taught us at a very young age was that we can achieve just about any goal you put your mind, attention and focus on. If you are given the opportunity to try to achieve that goal. Otherwise, you need to self educate yourself and learn as much as you can and do it on your own. No one can stop you beside yourself. You give positive reinforcement for good behavior and grades or teamwork and then also to have great sportsmanship when you or your team loses. It doesn’t make you a loser for life, it makes your loss for that moment important to understand and learn from it so you can get back out there and try to win.
Your first sentence resonates with me as my father said the same to me. I was ambitious, my sister confirmed this to me. Then I got married, 5 kids in 10 years. The Husband with his narcissistic behavior (almost)killed my spirit. After 20 years I divorced , cause 2 kids did suicide and I blamed him. Lack of Empathy was just 1 issue beside many others...Now I am 57, remarried, 3 adult kids. My self-esteem never came back. My Motivation is just enough for a day. No more ambition. No more Patience for anything that takes longer....(I tried 5 months patisserie. )so much damage done. Wondering what I do with the rest of my life. Don't want to sell my time for money.
Wow, she is really good! I can’t believe I sat through an hour of this and it didn’t even feel like it was an hour. She has so much wisdom and knowledge and I learned SO much. Going to take a lot of her points to apply to my own personal life in order to improve and move forward. I can’t keep on talking about my problems and traumas over and over again, because I’ll live in this miserable state of mind always. I have to accept that bad things happened, but I must move forward and live life abundantly. Bring her back! I truly enjoyed this conversation! ❤
You teach your children that they are special to you as the parent and many others in life and not everyone will like, love or even care about you at all. Know your self worth and know what you bring to the table. Persevere and move forward in life regardless what or who tries to stand in your way. Be a great follower and leader. Be honest, trustworthy, kind, humble, knowledgable and loving.
In my experience there are two personality types, people that treat you the same no matter whether they are eye to eye with you or with you in a group setting and other people that treat you differently when nobody else is watching.
that's barely scratching the surface, the onion has so many more levels than that.. also you make it sound like it's okay to spie on people to determine how they act/talk when you are not visibly there.. and: it is the most often used excuse from abusrs for their own controlling behaviour..
Fully agree! I make the distinction between power people and eye-level people. The latter always treats you with respect and appreciation - regardless of the circumstances.
What you said about being on devices impairing empathy is very interesting. I (Gen X) am used to talking with people. I always chat with waitresses, cashiers, other people in line. I worked with a recent college grad who had moved to take a position and she complained to me, that she didn't like the city we were in very much, mainly because she hadn't made any friends. I asked what she liked to do and suggested that she chat with people in those settings, as a way to meet people, but her response was, "When I go somewhere, I just want to do what I went there for. I wear my earbuds, and I would be annoyed if people tried to talk to me." I could not convince her that she had to interact with people in order to make friends. On a related note, when I talk to strangers (especially my age and older), it is striking how happy many people are just to have a small interaction. I feel like if we could help younger generations learn this, we could create a lot more community and happiness.
I agree completely with you on all your points. I'm a boomer and I noticed that if I'm in a waiting room, usually the only people who aren't staring at their phones are people my age and older. They are the people who will likely smile and start conversations. You are absolutely correct in stating that small interactions do make people happy. I always try to make an attempt with older people especially, to say hello because I now know from experience there is a good chance their kids are gone, they might have lost their spouse and likely don't work. Older people often live very isolated lives. Humans need connection with each other. I won't even get started on how worried I get when I see young mothers holding babies and just starting at their phones. Technology is leading us into isolation both physical and emotional. I'm 63, the difference I see in social connection in society from my youth to now is incredibly sad.
This mission-oriented, it’s-not-about-me advice is necessary to serve in armed forces and law enforcement. It can, however, be dangerous advice for average people if you take it to too high a degree. It makes you highly susceptible to control groups and individuals. You need a balance of identity and group think to be a person who can critically think and discern. Again, it is necessary to look for that trait in armed forces in law enforcement but regular people have to beware of being “of service” too much. You can lose yourself and take on a controller’s identity. At that point, you can be coerced to do things you would never do in your own identity.
Love your comment. It needs to be highlighted. Especially since we live in a world that is actively seeking to dumb down and control most of the public and those who think and question are pushed to the fringes. Thank you again!
You have to let go of past traumatic events. You'll never forget. But you can let go of the feeling and the anxiety. That's what I had to do with my previous marriage.
@@carynmartin6053 That is not true. Your emotions are messengers there to protect you from harm. If you refuse to accept their message the emotions don't go away. They come back into your consciousness now and then trying to deliver their message. .......
..... In order to get past these emotions you MUST acknowledge the feelings and process then. How did you feel when something happened that caused strong emotions ? Were you safe to feel those emotions at the time or did you ignore them ? If they were suppressed and not fully felt at that time they will resurface to give you their painful message when you are safe to do so. Feeling and "processing" these emotions gets them out of your mind. Feeling painful emotions involves grieving. The crying that comes from feeling these emotions serve to get these feelings out. The feelings must be released or "expressed". This is a painful process but it cleanses away old emotions that were stuck inside you when you suppressed them. That is what grieving is. Feeling and processing these heavy emotions. Getting the pain out of your system. It is a natural way to sustain your mental health. 💖🙋🏼♀️
I find it hard to understand why this interview got 10:1 ratio of likes vs dislikes. Perhaps people are simply reluctant to hear the uncomfortable truth.
be careful with that, the worst narcisists are often great in a crisis, they shine and excell, but in the normal day to day setting they get bored, the yfeel scared and purposeless and their dark side takes over..
I was in the USAF during 911, my two uncles in the Pentagon, my Brother in the Army Guard, my cousin a Surgeon in the Navy, a step brother in the Army, a cousin in the Merchant Marines all during 911. Amen to you all! Thank you for your service! 🙏🇺🇸
I really like Lewis's point about how talking about his problems helped him and how our culture conditions men not to express emotions. It is important for men to be able to discuss and express what they are going through and I suspect there would be a lot less men with anger problems if this was the norm.
I interpret her saying that it's important to remember the ones that WERE there for you during your cancer diagnosis/ recovery. The ones who were NOT , take note who your real village was by their actions
The motherhood advice she gives will actually result in a child that is detached and unsure of herself. There are many moments that “cry it out” is not the best option psychologically. Please, people, this woman is incredible in HER FIELD but is not a professional in child rearing. There must be a balance… a much better one than she is describing here.
Antisocial personality disorder is not just lack of empathy. It's diagnosed by a pattern of consistent behaviors over time. Lying, manipulation for personal gain, criminal versatility, impulsivity, substance abuse, parasitic lifestyle, no long term goals, disregard for the rights of others, many partners, etc. Sociopathy is just another name for aspd. Not all people diagnosed with aspd meet the criteria for psychopathy. Psychopathy isn't even a diagnosis in the DSM-5. Reduced empathy can be caused by depression, ptsd, autism, burnout, chronic @bus3, and entitlement. There is a lot of misinformation about this disorder, and it is caused by a mixture of trauma, environment, and genetics. Simply being a jerk doesn't make a person a sociopath. It's being used too often to discredit and label people.
This often shows up in the workplace where a sociopath may have a certain amount of chaos in their life but are very cool and calculating when they lie and manipulate to get their way. And when they do, they will order others around and defame them. The theme here is control and entitlement.
Indeed, and there is a big difference between narcissism and sociopathy. My father was a bit narcissistic. Could never admit fault, quick to anger/gaslight if criticized... but also affectionate and understanding (genuine emotion) in many/most scenarios. My step-mom, on the other hand, was full on sociopath with no ability to relate to anyone on a genuine level. Any caring or emotion she displayed was either from a textbook or mimicking what she'd seen in others. Whenever she found herself in a situation for which she did have a script, the real bizarre reactions would come out.
The cost to society It needs to become criminalised , l found so many Nursing lateral violence on a daily basis. It's everywhere family members , Partners . It's exhausting... Trying to recover , l feel for the younger generation the internet of everything is horrifying.
I’ve met several “jerks” in my 82 years of live, the one thing they all had in common was a lack of empathy and a lack social skills, focus on themself only.
Children, especially young ones, need to learn to regulate their emotions with their parents support. That means hugging, telling the child everything's going to be alright, and age appropriate explanations. Not ignoring them!
She didn't say she ignores her child. Quite the opposite, she's highly observant and steps in when necessary which are the hallmarks of a strong and capable mother.
Good stuff to ponder! When it comes to ending one relationship and beginning another, it’s an exchange from one set of problems to another…I choose what set of problems I am willing and able to tolerate lol!
I 100% agree! She’s talking about a little BABY 😢 I didn’t treat my children like that and they are now in their 50s and doing just fine. One is a registered nurse and the other is a pastor, both doing very well. She has NO empathy
I really love Evy Poumpouras, she's a straight talker, insightful and a great educator. Lewis has great guests on and asks good questions and flows well with his guests which is why it's a great show!
The most valuable thing I've learnt from her was to set boundaries from the start. People should know how they can and cannot treat and talk to you, in business that is even more important because some will disrespect you just because they think they are in a position of power over you, especially now with DEI appointments. Leadership matters in tough situations, grow a spine.
Totally agree; I owned 2 Businesses, and there’s that fine line of respect given( to keep clients coming in), and putting your food down, so I’m am not taken advantage of. My spine became solid. 😊
This is one of those interviews that needs more than one listen. There are so many nuggets of wisdom. Thank you Evy and thank you Lewis for a fabulous interview!
My daughter was diagnosed with antisocial disorder when she was just around 15? It's not a mental illness, it's a personality disorder but I still don't quite understand it? She was very good at acting or overreacting and everything she did was because of something someone else has done to her
Some people can’t look forward until they do the work. Trauma is not only in the mind but also in the body. There are also therapies that do not involve retelling traumatic events.
I definitely don’t agree with the “I “ language. This is chosen to let people know that you are speaking from your own/perspective. I feel sad when… The people you need to be concerned about are You You You Language You should You are “this” You ate “that”….projection
Agree & sometimes “I” is used because we are owning our thoughts, feelings and/or taking accountability. “I” becomes too much when there isn’t effort to include others in conversations and/or show genuine interest in others by asking questions.
Alright I was really impressed by the things she said until she started talking about leaving her 18 month daughter alone so she would learn to process her own emotions. please educate yourself about this, a child this young isnt capable of processing their emotions by themselves. please support your daughter and dont leave her crying on her own.
I worked at a nationally accredited daycare where they did what they called, self soothing with the babies. That is state training. I didn't agree but parents knew and paid lots of money for it.
Evy has an extremely high IQ and I doubt I’m wrong to assume her daughter does, too. Dollars to donuts, her daughter is speaking full sentences far beyond what a typical 18 month old would say. I trust her mother’s intuition, especially since she said she’s always there to provide comfort for her daughter.
Your sole task as a parent is to teach your children to be able to survive without you. If you are teaching your children to depend on you, you can guarantee they will spend the rest of their lives looking for your replacement. Think about that a bit.
@9:30 she says her daughter is 18 months old. Then she says she lets her have a melt down and doesn’t help her. Children learn emotional regulation from the parent. It is the parents job to teach them to self soothe. This woman is making a huge mistake with a child of that age. The child is going to learn there is no help and to retreat into herself with this absence of help and teaching. The kid needs a calm voice and to be held, reassured, refocused.
Educating one's child reflects a fine balance of letting them experience some distress that is conducive to self reflection/learning and, very importantly, providing the soothing/warmth necessary so they grow up to feel secure. I think the key is to be able to provide our children with the tools that can ultimately allow them to react as normally as possible to life's adversities as well as the tools to avoid creating unnecessary drama; life can be so much easier if we learn how to manage our emotions and react in positive ways. In regard to child rearing, we know that Psychology science offers us a lot of insight (e.g., Attachment theory).
I think You may have misunderstood what she said. She said she lets her experience all state of emotions do she validates them. So she lets her daughter be angry or have a meltdown but she definitely added that she does comfort her. She just teaches her daughter emotions. To learn emotional regulation you need to be able to recognize them.
She is a great analyzer. Do you think she doesn't know what her child is going through at a certain moment or what are the consequences of her behavior and counter actions? Of course she does. I think she is a great parent. Maybe she tried to compress all her ideas in few words and didn't transmit all the steps of child education in such a short time. And people understand it based also on what they personally know.
@elsagrace Agreed. She should watch Dr Gabor Máte and learn about a child’s needs. She’s already enforcing abandonment, sadly. Then again, she’s creating a little femme Nikita and maybe that’s what she wants.
I respect this ladies service to her country. Respectfully, I also have to say that I appreciate her view, but simply see it as her life circumstance and how she sees the world through the lens of her own life. I don’t wish challenge on anyone, but it does change perspective. Often, for me it’s the people with more life experience, that have suffered for whatever reason that seem to truly want to help others and have the best information to share. And that is exclusively just my opinion and whom I choose to listen to personally
No time left to teach things that matter in life. Critical race theory and understanding the "capitalism" is the driver of all evil on this planet is more important.
I agree. A friend of mine did this to both her kids. When they cried, she didn’t pick them up. When they were hungry, she would say sorry it’s not time. She had them on a schedule. Any other time, Just too bad. And guess what. They both have autism. One is a boy and one is a girl. About 3 years apart.
I took the role to be defective, because I am a child of an alcoholic and a narcissist. My narc mom pursuaide me that I am somehow defective, too sensitive, too emotional, and thatit is the result of the drinking od my father. It took me 49 years and a mariadge to a narc, to start to learn that there is nothing wrong with me. It was them, not me. Can you immagine the shock? Now I am a recovering codependent.
Us humans make a huge fuss over our species, but most of us are basically apes that somebody shaved down and taught how to speak. Nothing "special" about most humans, aside from having brains that work with language human beings are just another animal.
20:01 interesting conversation but this is not a great parenting advice. An 18 months old child is NOT able to self regulate yet. In fact, they need co regulation from their parents to eventually learn how to self regulate. Secure attachment will make the most resilient child. A child who makes the experience that others are not consistently emotionally available, responsive, and engaged are developing insecure attachment patterns, which increases vulnerabilities for all sorts of mental disorders. Self efficacy and agency are important skills but developmentally they are learned much later
Stopped the video exactly at the same time stamp. I don't understand how people don't see who she really is. She might be a great agent, but trying to apply these training methods on her on child is a recipe for a disaster. It's well known that covert narcissists excel at manipulation and gaslighting, pointing their fingers at others. Also, as someone else said - it's easy to be instrumental until you become the target. And you are likely to become a target if you're questioning the orders and/or not being a 'team player'. It's a usual procedure to pick people for these sort of jobs from those deeply traumatized and lost their direction and hope, and they need some 'deeper' purpose or 'meaning of life'. One might wonder whether the officially presented purposes of these jobs / agencies are really the real ones... We have seen many, many times throughout the history how this mantra 'you are doing this for the higher good' and/or 'you need to sacrifice yourself for others' has been used and abused for benefits of special individuals or small groups of individuals. This lady is very intelligent, talented, and well trained, but considering how many years she's been in the industry one would expect she can control her facial expressions and body language way more better. No, I don't buy this crap.
I so agree with the look at peoples patterns rather then what they say. Being instrumental or solution oriented is fine at work if your not being gaslit or manipulated. Working with others requires that your boss or others do their part as well. This was a problem at my old workplace the organization and structure of the environment their just didn't function correctly and the boss didn't step up and do her part of the work (I worked their for over 7 years). Now I am thriving at a different workplace where things are organized and they have systems and routines in place. So it is not all up to the individual. You can not fix something that is being run badly if your not in a management position. When you see experienced staff that have been their for years start to quit in masses it is time to move on. Just like with people look at your workplaces patterns, what is their staff turnover rate, how do they speak to/treat their workers on the floor? How is the general vibe their. Do they listen if many different people ask for a certain thing to be fixed?
Brava! In this day and age, it is unusual for new parents to let their children experience negative situations so that they learn how to solve and handle adversity. I speak from the experience allowing our twin daughters to fail, to learn from their own mistakes without bailing them out. They are now 35, and they are wonderful, loving productive adults. I've had parents of their peers approach me, telling me that they wish they had not enabled their kids, because their children, now adults, are unable to accept responsibility for their lives.
She didn’t elaborate, maybe she’s saying if her daughter fell and cries just from the surprise but she’s fine, she doesn’t rush. She’s Greek background and it happens
I was thinking exactly this. I'm not sure where she's learnt that from because she seems to know a lot about psychology but it stressed me when she said that
Always meeting a child's needs ensures that they'll never grow. You will not learn to self soothe until you're introduced to stress that demands it from you. The same thing applies to all children, even infants. Even infants learn through stress to stop biting their mothers tits. Everyone needs stress. The challenge is discovering and utilizing the stress that helps people grow instead of causing arrested development. Sometimes it's good to leave your children crying. It gives them the opportunity to comfort themselves. No opportunity means no learning. Its up to the children to use that opportunity to grow.
Thank you Evy for mentioning this: The similarity between athletes, military, and secret service is coachability. I've been an employer for decades and even if the term coachability was not commonly used or recognized, it was always one of the traits I was looking for in a prospective employee.
This was a really good interview ! The woman is concise and explains things very well. She is a smart woman. The man ( host ) asks interesting questions. is engaged in the discussion, and is very professional. But what makes him a very good interviewer is the fact he is sincerely interested in the discourse, and he is actively listening which the woman appreciates. And this is where " chemistry " happens. They each work off of one another. GREAT interview..
Yes.the biggest moment for me is that my past doesn't define me and that I don't have to be a victim no longer Also not to label the person but recognize the BEHAVIORS! THANK YOU SOO MUCH TO THE BOTH OF YOU.
People tells you who they are WITH THEIR BEHAVIOR - not with words. And, What's true for you, is what you have seen (perceived) YOURSELF, and when you lose that, you have lost everything.
How is it possible to watch any of these narcissist videos without wondering if they are being presented by narcissists ? Those narcissists can be very clever.
Exactly. Good point. And Ellen DeGeneret, still on his intro when she has long been outed as an elitist who treated her employees with abuse. Why? Other than to name drop? I've unsubscribed.
Well I will say this, nowadays it seems that if you talk about yourself you're instantly labeled a narcissist which I think is farthest from the truth. Narcissists truly only care about themselves and the only way to know if someone is is to spend time around them
My circle as a child was governorness to child of ltcolonel who had grandmal seizures. We were together everywhere and i had a wonderful time, then one day they were gone. I dont know where to or really who was renee cuz lt colonel apparently remarried some southern bell whom help raise the three girls including tania, grand mal. Miss them, feel abandoned and i grew up damaged. It started out nice. . . Life and times
Great interview, The gift is your life , talk less observe more, move from the past, label the behavior not the person, build connection and community.
Why do gurus insist on using sports team analogies as good examples? ALL OVER we see entitled athletes whose outrageous behavior is celebrated and admired.
She thinks people are addicted to the "adrenaline" from the conflict in their lives, and so they perpetuate it. How unenlightened!!! Pathetic. Psychopathology is a characteristic the CIA needs in many of its agents, as well as the narcissism required to think you are better than others (like those good people with empathy who have drama in their lives from people they are not psycho enough to heartlessly cut out of it).
Any form of disrespect as a lover, a friend is uncool and not welcome why people are seeking therapy is because of tolarating any kind of manipulation.
It's not about respect or disrespect. It's about accepting what others do and say as being about you or simply as a reflection of their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I.e., it's not about you. Making it about respect or disrespect is making yourself subject to being a victim of what they say or do based on whether you accept it as truth or choose not to accept it as truth, or as simply seeing those points of view as two of several ways you can choose to be about it. Don't let your own reactions drive what you do. Instead, see the many possibilities of how you can respond. It's a choice made in the moment.
Apparently her comments support the trend to ghost people who are grieving the loss of their own child! The vast majority of people have zero compassion for others. Telling people to push people out of your life if they are experiencing trauma isn't just cold it is sociopathic.
Thanks to Evy for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again TH-cam.com/lewishowes
Here here ❤ super discussion!
Yes! Love Evy and you, Lowes. What really hit home for me was when Evy shared how volunteering with the other survivors cleaning up helped to heal the trauma together, and that each of us needs a different form of therapy.
Thank you! Keep up your great work! 🙏
Yes! The perspective shift from identity based to instrumental based🎉
You're welcome, thank you for watching! 🧡
Yes
The covert narcissist is the worst to be in a relationship with because everyone else thinks they are so kind and giving. They will help strangers but do nothing for their family. They volunteer to get praise, not for the sake of helping others.
Yes, I second this. Dangerous and crazy making stuff, you have to be strong willed to deal with it all.
Thanks for the comment 🍀
What I found is that they are walking contradictions, pretty much what you said, & only those who live with them will see it.
💯 agree. Coverts are the worst because cannot be easily identified
@@JuliaShalomJordan😢 I wish they had to be registered like other abusers.
Yes. 100%. I have lived this too.
After you dance with a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath your eyes are wide open. There are some BAD people who walk this earth. Don’t let them in.
Ive been learning about the spirit, aka energy body/biofield/chi/Qi. And quantum physics, but only in reference to these... but yeah! Be careful with emotions. That's how it begins. Thats how they get in. Have control over emotions and practice love. Be like a lion and only connect with your own.
"Don’t let them in."
It's not always a choice, especially when they're about 98% of the population and you can't stop them.
@@Fred.Carpenter they are not 98% of the population. That’s ridiculous. I’m talking NPD and on the extreme end. That is a once in a lifetime experience.
@@4787fhjjk It truly is once in a lifetime. At least I hope it is.
I'm desperate to find someone in my vicinity who has, as you brilliantly put it, "danced with a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath", just to look them in the eye and give a knowing nod of validation and shared (and absolutely bizarre) experience and trauma.
Because I've given up trying to explain it to people and seeing on their face, that they don't get it. Even mental health professionals, who may have read the recipe, but haven't actually tasted it. And it is such a specific taste and trauma.
Before I "went to the dance", nobody could have described it to me in a way that would have given me even a 10% understanding.of the nature of these "people".
Anyway. Cheers
Take care of yourself and keep your eyes open.
We are part of a larger organism. The organism is suffering from a rapid takeover of malignancy. Almost every single person I have contact with behaves in narcissistic and malicious ways. And when they aren't, they are waiting for energetic cords or a moon cycle. They are organized and clearly have a mission. So either I'm a legitimate hostage or your statistics have changed.
Your misery is their happiness & your happiness is their misery .
Yes. They want to make everyone unhappy like them.
Is power trip is sadistic behavior they are horrible people!
Well said🎉
💯
Told me I’d rather see you sad then happy he sure did Jesus Christ he said that
"When people show you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou
No truer words were ever spoken
You forgot "..the first time"
She wasn't the most gracious of women either.
The mask she wrote. Like A coping mechanism for people stalking me in the animals
I know right she basically said that same thing from her very different experience...deep.
The disconcerting part is there are people who enjoy making others suffer.
DJT glitters when he is othering people, making fun of people, giving people nicknames. . .a joyous sadist indeed.
@@judithholder2537y
Ya got that TDS.😅
@@ginadean5696 You seem to have that T Unobjectivity Syndrome.
Exactly
and they see themselves as the victim, even as they are poundng others into the pavement, be it verbally, physically, emotionally or financially..
Narcissists are people who claim to be victims of "drama", but they're actually the ones causing drama.
Because they have a hardened heart and haven’t forgiven the offender…they then carry that burden
I agree. I have narcissistic in-laws who stalk me but somehow it’s my fault that they are stalkers.
💯🎯
@@criskatanthat too beloved…it’s a spiritual battle, not a flesh one
@@criskatan don't forgive...make them irrelevant.
Narcissism is a real thing, I lived with one for 11 years. To give you a feeling of what it's like try walking on quicksand, no matter what move you make or word you say you sink a little deeper.
It's literally walking in hell,been there,done that,and bought the t-shirt.
That's very well-said.
@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5htI agree
@@kimberlielawrence369 ….spot on! 👍🏽
💯
Evy Poumpouras's advice is spot on and truly resonates with me. As they say, "Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you." Thanks for sharing such valuable wisdom, Evy! 🌟
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
🎉❤🎉❤yes
But her ideas about no one being special are absurd and trauma based. And irrational. Being special isn't about being better tha. Other people or about other people not being special. It's about appreciating a loving the fact that you have been uniquely created to fulfil your own amazing life, and that the universe has actually called you forth to do what you can in life, that's a very beautiful and special thing, we all have it, and when you grasp it fully you will always treat people better, and alwaya be of more service.
Being trained to feel like "you're nothing special" is actually narcisstic abuse.
@@lewishowes
99.9% of people are self absorbed and not interested in someone else’s feelings so MOST PEOPLE BRING OUT THE STRESS IN YOU, NOT THE BEST IN YOU. You can only control your own behavior.
I can't wait to read her book!
Listen when someone has drama in their life, it could also be because they are just suffering in this shitty life and isolated without a lot of help. Doesn’t make them a narcissist. Usually it makes them a target for narcissist.
Lived thru hell. Counseling and self help groups and self help books can help one change to a better person!
Absolutely 😢
What she said was “their drama will become your drama.” She’s not wrong (coming from someone who’s been through a lot and the waves aren’t necessarily a rolling sea-YET!)
I’ve learnt to have high standards for myself. If I want to be better I need to associate with better. I’m doing the work. I stopped playing the victim a long time ago. I know things will continue to get better if I keep working and never stop putting one foot in front of the other.
True. But that doesn't make them qualify to be a Secret Service agent.
They think they know it all exactly why this country is in the shape it is
My ex is a narcissist. They are incapable of feeling empathy for ANYONE, including their own children. And that will never change.
Most dangerous psychopath I have ever met got custody of my daughter! They will destroy everyone around because they are demoniac!
He showed his true colors but I was unable to pick on it as I had no clue! This skills should be thought in schools!!!
I took a road trip with ex narcissist and his youngest son, and the nex fussed about having to buy his son's lunch. I was flabbergasted.
@@Hatbox948why don’t you take him?
My son in law is definately one!! He can't even feign empathy! Mastery manipulator on top of it! My heart aches for my daughter and my grandchildren.
@@pandacutie4557 Hle had a mom that he lived with. He was a teen and only visited occasionally. His dad, my ex, barely knew him because he'd made so little effort to get to know him. I wasn't equipped to raise a 17 year old autistic boy.
As a man I found that the key to managing emotions is not to suppress them but to understand them then learn to let them go.
❤
Brilliant!
Beautiful
Wow, I needed this ❤
You must let yourself feel the emotions before you let them go.😊
I grew up with not only a narcissistic mother but maternal grandmother too and no father on the scene. The problem with people like me is when we get into relationships, the red flags are there and you do get some gut instinct about it but the behaviour they are showcasing is also very familiar because it’s all you’ve known, so we constantly give people the benefit of the doubt
Im sad having a narc daughter! I hope for maturity and care every year, but nothing. Its hard on a parent cause I just cant cut her off and move, Im her Mom! So I live with heartache and wait for the next crisis phone call!😢
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that, plus the added obligation of staying in her life 😔
Yes 100% I was doing that for 42 years. 34ish full time:) then healing kicked in.
Both of my parents are narcissistic psychopaths - and BOOMERS. It’s taken 50+ years to recover.
I resonate with you.
I really appreciate how quickly she gets to the "meat" of the interview. No having to wait half an hour of mindless chitchat.❤
I agree. I can't handle chitchat.
Absolutely love that about her. She doesn’t waste time. Just gets to it.
He does a good job as well. They're both good.
Was that sarcasm? I mean I was on this video for guidance on how to spot harmful personality types, but that discussion only began somewhere around the middle of the video.
If you don't have patience to handle mindless chit chat especially in these videos you'll never learn anything
For sure! Red flags can be different for everyone, but things like lack of communication, dishonesty, or disrespect are usually big ones.
Very true
Yes, refusal of communication, lies or withholding truth, dismissal, disrespect, blaming, anger are all part of the red flags!!! Run … to protect your sanity even your life!!! When someone shows you ‘who they are the first time, BELIEVE THEM!!!
I agree with you a lack of communication or poor communication has ruined many relationships. People think that being vulnerable is a weakness. No, it is actually a strength ,and allows people to better understand you not be angry let their guard down to in turn end up giving you what you want more importantly what you need we are Sometimes Hot behind walls and barriers not letting other people in which is a very thing we need to do to get our needs met
@@LonjeMarie7a narc will use your weakness to beat you doing. So being vulnerable is not a good move for those people.
Disrespect is a huge 🚩🚩🚩
When my au pair who had become my sister-in-law took it upon herself to create the best birthday parties, gifts and excludive trips with and for my daughters without even consulting me I tried to State my boundaries that I needed to be asked first in regard to my children- she thought I was only thinking about myself. She cut me out of the family circle and influenced my daughter emotionally and physically away from me saying I was the one who was over reacting.
This to me is evil making.
"Their drama is your drama"-Ex-boyfriend always getting into fights-telling people to pullover-getting pulled over by cops-I'm always in the car when this happens... 15 years later he wanted to get back together!...NOPE...NOT EVEN AS A FRIEND.
I know the type!
Yep, their fight is your fight.
You did well 👏 💜
You dodged a bullet! Possibly literally.
Ew
These people are everywhere.
Doesn’t matter if rich, poor, good looking or ugly.
It’s shocking when it’s someone you trusted most or closest to you.
Once you educate yourself to the level of spotting them and learn how to move on,
that’s strength, power, and wisdom. You win💪🏻😉✨
Excellent information
Yes they are and getting away from that is a beautiful form of freedom.
True and it is sad however it is rooted in childhood and unresolved trauma and instead of being victimised they become the victimiser, it's horrible because they can do alot of damage to others. It's like you said it's just better to educate yourself and move on, noone is infallible to these types as they're good at making but a little bit of insight and observation can really help one dodge a bullet so to speak or if it's family at least play with a different rulebook once you understand their mind games.
My mother is a covert narcissist. It took me until 45 years old to fully get the picture, but knew something wasnt right since childhood.
Half the problem, is the self-doubt, its part of their abusive bag of tricks to spin you in circles with sweet / mean cycles. I have since cut her from my life.
Great comment✨
This made me cry . We tend to ignore the important things in life, our faith, our health and our family.
1. Your circle matters- curate it
2. Be instrumental and team goal driven
3. Recognize the 4 animal archetypes
4. Notice the self focused individuals-red flag
5. Label the behavior not the person.
on point with her info.
side note - never trust someone who wears all white....
@@dazingamaine4318Ghosts?
😆
@@dazingamaine4318can you share more on white clothing?
@@betsychavez2914same thoughts
“ The circle of people around you matter”. Choose wisely who you let in.
self soothing for a child is one of the most traumatic things a parent can do to there child (it reeks havoc on the nervous system), they dont yet have the capacity to create there own resolve and they need the love and guidance of the parent.
She's next to the child, providing emotional support and positive reinforcement, while encouraging her to investigate her environment, learn about her world, and solve problems. All of that will develop vital, life skills, and develop a strong sense of self.
THAT'S how parents raise people who are able to processs their emotions, while becoming intrinsically motivated to succeed...and be CONFIDENT...rather than be anxiety-ridden and constantly seeking external validation.
The goal is to raise children who love themselves, know how to overcome challenges, and think about people other than themselves.
If you want to raise children who grow into non-functional, highly co-dependent adults, put them in an overly protective coccoon, never let them learn how to self-regulate and/or process their own emotions, and solve all of their problems for them. You'd essentially be guaranteeing that they will battle anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem...for life. (They also may never leave the parental nest.)
100% agree
This paragraph doesn't make any sense
Agreed. Everything else she was talking about was good but the whole ignore your baby thing has been proven to do real harm. It's traumatic for a child and does serious harm. Even the animals know this.
It definitely feels unnatural
And not to mention that ptsd and rumination is an actual thing. Covert narcissists treat people poorly behind closed doors and gaslight them in public.
Yep. Once you see them without their mask on, they are pure evil disgusting people.
Sounds like my mother
Listen also Abraham Hicks short videos. She talks baout different topics people ask about different topics, As a spiritual being you may be inspired that there are other ways to find strength, be in the higher vibration. Usuall hobbies put people in place of happiness and higher vibration.
Yes. I sat and quietly explained to my family what "passive aggressive"; "gas lighting" and "Narcissism" is. I didn't point fingers or blame. It was obvious. I told them about what these terms meant; and that I was unwilling to deal with those behaviors; that said, I had nothing but love for family members. They did a step back. That's okay, we now have an UNDERSTANDING. They still contact me, and I them; but the least bit of emotional garbage and I will call them out where they stand. Not angrily; but very clinically. And positively reinforce all the good ones; cleverness, resourcefulness, care for others. my "mental disorders" were finally diagnosed. PTSD. I deal with that. In other words; I'm sore from being hit. I had to deal with being burned. And walk forward without the upset. I really enjoy what you said about parenting. My daughter got support...not fluff. No candy for tantrums. DEAL with it, work it out. Instruction in foreign language. YES. Don't isolate people by hampering them. Being able to communicate with other people is KEY. Knowing a few languages really really helps. It also communicates that no person is an island. We NEED others.
“It’s ok when things go wrong.” That seems so simple but absolutely spoke to me as a mother of a child with autism. I needed to hear that today. 👍
did you read Jenny McCarthy's book.. she helped her son who was diagnosed autistic.. no gluten was one thing I heard her say along with anti-candida diet/antifungals.. check food allergies too..nutritional deficiencies, heavy metal detox, essential fatty acids for brain function..
Vaccine injury.. detox the heavy metals and never vaccinate again
Autism is NOT a disease you can cure. It is a frame in which an operating system is different from yours. Society has put a "norm" as to how we are supposed to behave. If we don't fit that "behave" "something is wrong"... says who?. Granted we can dimish outside stimulation. That's a HUGE one. But I'm not going to give my already hyper child more sugar and zero sleep. That's all you are doing when I see those suggestions. You are stating the obvious. Why not teach and accept and embrace Autism instead of looking at it like a fault or flaw.
Autism and ADHD household. You got this! ❤ Headphones can be your best friend. Always have a sensory bin for the kids. 🙏🏼
Narcissists are control freaks and when things go wrong, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT even if it's the narcissists fault.
The point in the video you are here for is at 33:00 your welcome
😂👍🏻thank you!
Dude, babies do not “self soothe”. They’re wired for maternal (especially) skin to skin contact, and to learn to trust the world CARES about their needs. They build their nervous system adaptations from their primary interactions with caregivers. Picking up a crying baby to reassure them is NOT spoiling them.
Now, having said that…, there are times when a baby can learn they are still safe even if you need to put them in a bouncy -where they can see you- to get a quick shower or wash some clothes or bottles. But it shouldn’t be for long when they’re very young (under 8-10 months, say). Never let them “cry it out” alone in a room at night. That’s just cruel.
I was thinking the same...I hope she's getting the balance right
Agreed.
@@katychamberlain982 thanks ladies.
You’ve never had a baby who learned how to be manipulative very early. I couldn’t put my girl down for more than a few minutes..she had to have all of the attention all of the time. The doc told me to let her cry it out. So I did. She was right there in the room with us while we retrained her. It took only two evenings, and she learned that she could not have all of the attention all of the time. I was exhausted, at my wits end, and was finally able to take a shower, eat my own breakfast, do the laundry, etc. Some babies ARE manipulative, and have to be retrained. This self-centeredness is inborn. My eldest was so jealous of her new sister that she went out of her way to make the younger miserable all of their growing years…and the younger was so frightened of her that she never came to me. When I found out years later, I was heartbroken.
If you pick up a child EVERY time they grow up without the inability to be on their own😂😅 I’ve seen it. It’s not pretty
This video came as a confirmation for me. I recently removed the "consistent drama" flavor of people from my life. Before, I genuinely believed that I had a health issue. Once I cut ties, though, my energy levels returned, I could focus on my projects, and I rarely feel chronic stress anymore. I thought I was an island, unaffected by other people's affinity for drama. Boy, was I wrong.
Good for you, 👍that's really great and I hope your life just keeps getting better and better without those toxic people in it 😊.
It's amazing the recovery when cutting out toxicity from your life.
I recently found a photo of me 14 years ago when I was in the last phase of my 10 year abusive marriage. I look older in that pic than I do now 14 years later! --Just by cutting out the toxic that was literally an agent of satan to destroy me.
I even got near death ill for almost a year after leaving that situation and I still look younger now than then!
This actually may be why predators will destroy the past and photos of their victims (which he'd destroyed all of mine that he could) because the before/after photos do speak for themselves 1000's of words. 💔
It's amazing the recovery when cutting out toxicity from your life.
I recently found a photo of me 14 years ago when I was in the last phase of my 10 year abusive marriage. I look older in that pic than I do now 14 years later! --Just by cutting out the toxic that was literally an agent of satan to destroy me.
I even got near death ill for almost a year after leaving that situation and I still look younger now than then!
This actually may be why predators will destroy the past and photos of their victims (which he'd destroyed all of mine that he could) because the before/after photos do speak for themselves 1000's of words. 💔
Me too…..my body & mind feel so much better
In that area, I have learned to give other people, grace, mercy, kindness, and forgiveness because I know within myself I am a work in progress, and I don’t always have it together and always make the right decisions. When I make a mess I step back be quiet, self check and clean up my mess. It doesn’t make me a bad person or anyone else. It just makes us human.
I Spoke to both of my children in English while the rest of the environment around us was 100% Spanish. Today, they are 14 and 7, fluent bilingual and ready to learn a third language. They never struggled, it is just the best way to go 😊🎉
And they ll do better in different areas. Well done
Energy drainers who will not take accountability for their actions or refuse to be responsible must go!
My life is important to me, and I am a humanitarian, empath, and human rights advocate.
I matter! 😊❤
Great job 👏 ❤your message
There were signs of abuse before my dad was diagnosed with cancer but it's my mother's name would have been fixed she could have taken care of my dad she didn't need nothing she didn't need my brother in that house with his p*** and his damn bear and it's over spending it was horrible these people were overtaken by adult people they needed and my sister was always drunk over there and insisting that my mother beat her punching bag for all her woes both my brother my sister needed to be gone spell love time in jail honest to God yes absolutely the time in jail and maybe a little training on how to treat elderly people and they're not even elderly they're just older. I was told this after human rights very important and I believe that humans should try to stay innocent as long as they can kids naturally want to stay innocent as long as they can and look what they have to contend with miserable sick too much for the human mind
🎉 Amen
Your first sentence describes my mother perfectly
The self proclaimed empath. 😂
This quote by Voltaire - "Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers." Lewis, you are the definition of greatness! ✨
🙌
Exactly, you can tell when a new friend starts asking you very intrusive questions without fear or remorse despite seeing your reluctance to answer... they keep prying into your privacy. It's a sign of poor upbringing ...a need to dominate and make you vunerable to unforseen attacks.
@@XQRobertzdamn so true
Right they gather info to use it against you or to control/manip. Meanwhile they are hiding ALOT.
Yes!!!!!
EVERY woman in the comment section has narcissistic ex. I swear.
I'll tell you something worse. I dated a psychopath who was a self-proclaimed incel cause I didn't know what incel meant at the time.
She is such a self-aware speaker. I love how she redirected the personality question to a framework she was familiar with, and then later referenced the manner in which she redirected that question. Sharp mind.
Can’t wait to see that in myself 🙏🏼
I love her. And I wouldn't mess with her 😂
time stamp pls?
Can't get enough of Evy Poumpouras 😍 She's such a badass!
It's definitely going to be another great interview
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
💯💯💯💯 been following her for years. She’s amazing
@@Sabrina-LosAngeles I've know of her for years as well but i guess i wasn't ready back then, she didn't resonate with me. I recently found her again and now i'm binge-watching all her interviews. I need more of that energy in my life🔥
@@vlightphotography a worthwhile binge for sure :) 👌🏽
Leaving a toddler to regulate herself is where this woman failed. Your daughter is not a secret agent. You need to show her how to regulate...
That’s to teach a kid to become strong and not a psycho
You’re a normal person unlike her so you might not realise how healthful it is
No actually you don't the top child therapist Dr. Siggy, you can look her up. States that when your child is having a tantrum or going through an emotion that they cannot control, it is best to let them have the tantrum and not to intervene or try to stop it. Because you are preventing them from creating the neural pathways in their brain. They need to be able to control their emotions later in life. You're hindering them not helping them when you try to stop them when they are in a tantrum or in an emotional uproar. Because you are soothing that you are not teaching them themselves. How to soothe that. And they are not creating the necessary pathways in their brain. Neurologically to control their emotions to control themselves essentially and that's where we get all these people that are over emotional and like myself I am over emotional just putting it out there. And people who fly off the handle and anger and throwing things in relationships and narcissists. This is why those people exist because their parents are not letting them feel their tantrum steal their emotions and letting them feel it into complete fruition and then when they're done saying oh you are very upset. This is why you were upset. Now you don't let them hurt themselves or others or kick the door or kick the parent. But you got to let them do it on their own because that's the only way they learn. No parent is perfect. Show me the perfect parent and I'll show you somebody who's somebody who's a full of bull crap.Is anybody anybody who criticizes anybody's parenting is wrong. Unless they're physically sexually emotionally abusing their child, that is the only instance where you are a crappy parent. But unless those things are happening, we're human. How about you give other humans a break and do your research before you run off at the mouth Thank you and have a nice day
@@souqsayara7644no. Kids need parents help an adults help.
This lady is so well put together, mentally, physically and spiritually. Kick ass woman 👌🏽
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@@lewishowes You not Simba anymore... Lion who can be very dunky. Glad you made that platforms
She said something that really resonated with me about people that stay on their phone, aren't connecting, or spending too much time in a negative mindset: When we aren't connecting with people, we feel less empathy, we fear or don't like the other, & we are more likely to cause harm. She went on to pinpoint some of these mindsets. "You can sell anything to yourself if you want to".
I spotted a psychopath watching this video
Yes, she is wearing white
Her interviews are not for the weak minded
Saw her on another show, bought her book and she is so, so good!
🎉 yes, you gotta want to hear the truth
@@earthrooster1969 exactly
I think they are for the weak minded, so they can build a stronger mind
@@prayerpower1585 ima sense yes but then again no because some people can’t handle the truth
Its so hard when its family member 😅
Set boundaries
Even family which is often times even worse needs to be either cut off completely or put strong boundaries and keep those boundaries!!!❤
It's a nightmare
Yeah this one hit different and deep. Family is really hard
It's not when you stop caring if they are a family member or a stranger. Boundaries should be there regardless.
I’ve been blessed to raise 2 amazing teenagers, through an unwanted divorce.
I gave my son and daughter boundaries, discipline, guidance and a ton of unconditional love and support.
I am receiving a lot of great advice from this conversation but I wouldn’t ask a Secret Service agent for parenting advice:)
OK, don't ask then.
yea well you know. Many of the same things can apply to children and terrorism suspects.
@@lightlayagajoie5739 lol
This is soo validating for me. Because in the relationship I was in - whenever there was drama I just wanted to sit and think and find a solution. But the partner I had was always looking for shame, guilt, and blame.
It makes sense why I got tired of him.
My ex was like that. Nothing was ever her fault but could find infinite faults in other people.
Omggggg
hes a king
As a born and raised New Yorker, I just really appreciate how everything she says is the most new yorkish advice and it just *reaches* me.
As a 13th Generation American and a 5th generation Californian, I just wish you New Yorkers would stay in NY rather than bring your tribal, arrogant, uncouth selves to The West where you mess our vibe and disrespect our culture. But yes, I love rude, entitled, foul people when I'm in New York where filth is the vibe.
Totally agree. Very direct, bare bones, honest and straight to the point.
She’s from New York I hear it in her manliness
New York wow ???????
As a native New Yorker myself, I can somewhat agree. Most lack empathy and respect, though.
What my father taught us at a very young age was that we can achieve just about any goal you put your mind, attention and focus on. If you are given the opportunity to try to achieve that goal. Otherwise, you need to self educate yourself and learn as much as you can and do it on your own. No one can stop you beside yourself. You give positive reinforcement for good behavior and grades or teamwork and then also to have great sportsmanship when you or your team loses. It doesn’t make you a loser for life, it makes your loss for that moment important to understand and learn from it so you can get back out there and try to win.
Your first sentence resonates with me as my father said the same to me. I was ambitious, my sister confirmed this to me. Then I got married, 5 kids in 10 years. The Husband with his narcissistic behavior (almost)killed my spirit. After 20 years I divorced , cause 2 kids did suicide and I blamed him. Lack of Empathy was just 1 issue beside many others...Now I am 57, remarried, 3 adult kids. My self-esteem never came back. My Motivation is just enough for a day. No more ambition. No more Patience for anything that takes longer....(I tried 5 months patisserie. )so much damage done. Wondering what I do with the rest of my life. Don't want to sell my time for money.
Wow, she is really good! I can’t believe I sat through an hour of this and it didn’t even feel like it was an hour. She has so much wisdom and knowledge and I learned SO much. Going to take a lot of her points to apply to my own personal life in order to improve and move forward. I can’t keep on talking about my problems and traumas over and over again, because I’ll live in this miserable state of mind always. I have to accept that bad things happened, but I must move forward and live life abundantly. Bring her back! I truly enjoyed this conversation! ❤
You teach your children that they are special to you as the parent and many others in life and not everyone will like, love or even care about you at all. Know your self worth and know what you bring to the table. Persevere and move forward in life regardless what or who tries to stand in your way. Be a great follower and leader. Be honest, trustworthy, kind, humble, knowledgable and loving.
In my experience there are two personality types, people that treat you the same no matter whether they are eye to eye with you or with you in a group setting and other people that treat you differently when nobody else is watching.
Oof
I agree.. or people who act different when you aren't present.
I recently cut ties with s “friend” who was like that. What a relief 😮💨
that's barely scratching the surface, the onion has so many more levels than that.. also you make it sound like it's okay to spie on people to determine how they act/talk when you are not visibly there.. and: it is the most often used excuse from abusrs for their own controlling behaviour..
Fully agree! I make the distinction between power people and eye-level people. The latter always treats you with respect and appreciation - regardless of the circumstances.
What you said about being on devices impairing empathy is very interesting. I (Gen X) am used to talking with people. I always chat with waitresses, cashiers, other people in line. I worked with a recent college grad who had moved to take a position and she complained to me, that she didn't like the city we were in very much, mainly because she hadn't made any friends. I asked what she liked to do and suggested that she chat with people in those settings, as a way to meet people, but her response was, "When I go somewhere, I just want to do what I went there for. I wear my earbuds, and I would be annoyed if people tried to talk to me." I could not convince her that she had to interact with people in order to make friends.
On a related note, when I talk to strangers (especially my age and older), it is striking how happy many people are just to have a small interaction. I feel like if we could help younger generations learn this, we could create a lot more community and happiness.
Great observation!
This is such good insight! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Love this! Thanks for sharing!
I agree completely with you on all your points. I'm a boomer and I noticed that if I'm in a waiting room, usually the only people who aren't staring at their phones are people my age and older. They are the people who will likely smile and start conversations. You are absolutely correct in stating that small interactions do make people happy. I always try to make an attempt with older people especially, to say hello because I now know from experience there is a good chance their kids are gone, they might have lost their spouse and likely don't work. Older people often live very isolated lives. Humans need connection with each other. I won't even get started on how worried I get when I see young mothers holding babies and just starting at their phones. Technology is leading us into isolation both physical and emotional. I'm 63, the difference I see in social connection in society from my youth to now is incredibly sad.
Oh yes, the glorious earbud people.
A lot of those narcissists and psychopaths are in those high offices where she worked, imagine the scale of harm they cause to humanity
This mission-oriented, it’s-not-about-me advice is necessary to serve in armed forces and law enforcement. It can, however, be dangerous advice for average people if you take it to too high a degree. It makes you highly susceptible to control groups and individuals. You need a balance of identity and group think to be a person who can critically think and discern. Again, it is necessary to look for that trait in armed forces in law enforcement but regular people have to beware of being “of service” too much. You can lose yourself and take on a controller’s identity. At that point, you can be coerced to do things you would never do in your own identity.
Love your comment. It needs to be highlighted. Especially since we live in a world that is actively seeking to dumb down and control most of the public and those who think and question are pushed to the fringes.
Thank you again!
Absolutely agree. Like that thing that happened in recent times where many completely followed and refused any critical thinking for themselves
Yes!
Basically armed forces and law enforcement can be or are similar to cults or are actually the same. it's that simple.
You have to let go of past traumatic events. You'll never forget. But you can let go of the feeling and the anxiety. That's what I had to do with my previous marriage.
Yeah, same here.
The ppl who are unwilling to let these things go are holding onto them for a reason 🎉😮
@@carynmartin6053 That is not true. Your emotions are messengers there to protect you from harm. If you refuse to accept their message the emotions don't go away. They come back into your consciousness now and then trying to deliver their message. .......
..... In order to get past these emotions you MUST acknowledge the feelings and process then. How did you feel when something happened that caused strong emotions ? Were you safe to feel those emotions at the time or did you ignore them ? If they were suppressed and not fully felt at that time they will resurface to give you their painful message when you are safe to do so. Feeling and "processing" these emotions gets them out of your mind. Feeling painful emotions involves grieving. The crying that comes from feeling these emotions serve to get these feelings out. The feelings must be released or "expressed". This is a painful process but it cleanses away old emotions that were stuck inside you when you suppressed them. That is what grieving is. Feeling and processing these heavy emotions. Getting the pain out of your system. It is a natural way to sustain your mental health. 💖🙋🏼♀️
you need to heal your trauma anxiety is and emotion and is conectado with a memoria or memories there some their is a therapy of red ligth.
I find it hard to understand why this interview got 10:1 ratio of likes vs dislikes. Perhaps people are simply reluctant to hear the uncomfortable truth.
Always look for the helpers during a crisis, hard times.
Really??
Yep,they’re no where around,are they?
be careful with that, the worst narcisists are often great in a crisis, they shine and excell, but in the normal day to day setting they get bored, the yfeel scared and purposeless and their dark side takes over..
@@esmeraldaweatherwaxe970very true! 😂they think they are soooo smart. Hahaha☮️👽
@@esmeraldaweatherwaxe970😂
What she is describing is the difference between ego/narcissism and self accountability
I was in the USAF during 911, my two uncles in the Pentagon, my Brother in the Army Guard, my cousin a Surgeon in the Navy, a step brother in the Army, a cousin in the Merchant Marines all during 911. Amen to you all! Thank you for your service! 🙏🇺🇸
I really like Lewis's point about how talking about his problems helped him and how our culture conditions men not to express emotions. It is important for men to be able to discuss and express what they are going through and I suspect there would be a lot less men with anger problems if this was the norm.
I interpret her saying that it's important to remember the ones that WERE there for you during your cancer diagnosis/ recovery. The ones who were NOT , take note who your real village was by their actions
Absolutely ! So called long term friends or even family member putting walls says everything
When I got sick , no one was there for me. No one saw me or anything so I am by myself
The motherhood advice she gives will actually result in a child that is detached and unsure of herself. There are many moments that “cry it out” is not the best option psychologically. Please, people, this woman is incredible in HER FIELD but is not a professional in child rearing. There must be a balance… a much better one than she is describing here.
Antisocial personality disorder is not just lack of empathy. It's diagnosed by a pattern of consistent behaviors over time. Lying, manipulation for personal gain, criminal versatility, impulsivity, substance abuse, parasitic lifestyle, no long term goals, disregard for the rights of others, many partners, etc. Sociopathy is just another name for aspd. Not all people diagnosed with aspd meet the criteria for psychopathy. Psychopathy isn't even a diagnosis in the DSM-5. Reduced empathy can be caused by depression, ptsd, autism, burnout, chronic @bus3, and entitlement. There is a lot of misinformation about this disorder, and it is caused by a mixture of trauma, environment, and genetics. Simply being a jerk doesn't make a person a sociopath. It's being used too often to discredit and label people.
This often shows up in the workplace where a sociopath may have a certain amount of chaos in their life but are very cool and calculating when they lie and manipulate to get their way. And when they do, they will order others around and defame them. The theme here is control and entitlement.
Indeed, and there is a big difference between narcissism and sociopathy.
My father was a bit narcissistic. Could never admit fault, quick to anger/gaslight if criticized... but also affectionate and understanding (genuine emotion) in many/most scenarios.
My step-mom, on the other hand, was full on sociopath with no ability to relate to anyone on a genuine level. Any caring or emotion she displayed was either from a textbook or mimicking what she'd seen in others. Whenever she found herself in a situation for which she did have a script, the real bizarre reactions would come out.
The cost to society
It needs to become criminalised , l found so many Nursing lateral violence on a daily basis. It's everywhere family members , Partners .
It's exhausting... Trying to recover , l feel for the younger generation the internet of everything is horrifying.
I’ve met several “jerks” in my 82 years of live, the one thing they all had in common was a lack of empathy and a lack social skills, focus on themself only.
Wonder why he didn’t just interview you?
Children, especially young ones, need to learn to regulate their emotions with their parents support. That means hugging, telling the child everything's going to be alright, and age appropriate explanations. Not ignoring them!
I didn't get 'IGNORING" she said she lets her go through it-doesn't rescue immediately.
Never got that.
The reassurance I mean.
She didn't say she ignores her child. Quite the opposite, she's highly observant and steps in when necessary which are the hallmarks of a strong and capable mother.
Today's parents tease their child and invalidate feelings. Good advice
Good stuff to ponder! When it comes to ending one relationship and beginning another, it’s an exchange from one set of problems to another…I choose what set of problems I am willing and able to tolerate lol!
18 months ? You leave her ?
She's too young she can't intellectualise what you hope
Yup, that's gonna register as neglect 🥺
I 100% agree! She’s talking about a little BABY 😢 I didn’t treat my children like that and they are now in their 50s and doing just fine. One is a registered nurse and the other is a pastor, both doing very well. She has NO empathy
I think Its good to teach children to be self sufficient but babies need comfort.
@@southerngirl1408 For real, she sounds ridiculous projecting her perfectionistic bs onto her literal infant. 🙄
@@JS-dv9jipeople like this are certainly not allowed in my circle, total ban
I really love Evy Poumpouras, she's a straight talker, insightful and a great educator. Lewis has great guests on and asks good questions and flows well with his guests which is why it's a great show!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@@lewishowes
I love this woman so much!
The most valuable thing I've learnt from her was to set boundaries from the start. People should know how they can and cannot treat and talk to you, in business that is even more important because some will disrespect you just because they think they are in a position of power over you, especially now with DEI appointments. Leadership matters in tough situations, grow a spine.
Totally agree; I owned 2 Businesses, and there’s that fine line of respect given( to keep clients coming in), and putting your food down, so I’m am not taken advantage of.
My spine became solid. 😊
You are not concerned with DEI appointments you’re afraid of black people.
This is one of those interviews that needs more than one listen. There are so many nuggets of wisdom. Thank you Evy and thank you Lewis for a fabulous interview!
My daughter was diagnosed with antisocial disorder when she was just around 15? It's not a mental illness, it's a personality disorder but I still don't quite understand it? She was very good at acting or overreacting and everything she did was because of something someone else has done to her
Thank you for sharing
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Some people can’t look forward until they do the work. Trauma is not only in the mind but also in the body. There are also therapies that do not involve retelling traumatic events.
I definitely don’t agree with the “I “ language.
This is chosen to let people know that you are speaking from your own/perspective.
I feel sad when…
The people you need to be concerned about are
You
You
You
Language
You should
You are “this”
You ate “that”….projection
Agree & sometimes “I” is used because we are owning our thoughts, feelings and/or taking accountability. “I” becomes too much when there isn’t effort to include others in conversations and/or show genuine interest in others by asking questions.
'don't label the person, label the behaviour'. uhm that's basically 'be hard on the issues, soft on the people'.
Alright I was really impressed by the things she said until she started talking about leaving her 18 month daughter alone so she would learn to process her own emotions. please educate yourself about this, a child this young isnt capable of processing their emotions by themselves. please support your daughter and dont leave her crying on her own.
Totally agree. I think this is when attachment style comes into play.
I worked at a nationally accredited daycare where they did what they called, self soothing with the babies. That is state training. I didn't agree but parents knew and paid lots of money for it.
Evy has an extremely high IQ and I doubt I’m wrong to assume her daughter does, too. Dollars to donuts, her daughter is speaking full sentences far beyond what a typical 18 month old would say. I trust her mother’s intuition, especially since she said she’s always there to provide comfort for her daughter.
a person who spends all their time self promoting, hours making sure not one hair is out of place. Im not getting the vibe of loving parent
Your sole task as a parent is to teach your children to be able to survive without you. If you are teaching your children to depend on you, you can guarantee they will spend the rest of their lives looking for your replacement. Think about that a bit.
My narcissistic father in law in the 80's told me to watch out for ppl who speak about "me,me, my, my, I, I" and he should know bc he was one!🎉😮😊
Wow Evie... yes! My daughter when she was 4yo tried to learn tantrum at the mall, I let her cry 20mins until she got tired of it.
😂
@9:30 she says her daughter is 18 months old. Then she says she lets her have a melt down and doesn’t help her. Children learn emotional regulation from the parent. It is the parents job to teach them to self soothe. This woman is making a huge mistake with a child of that age. The child is going to learn there is no help and to retreat into herself with this absence of help and teaching. The kid needs a calm voice and to be held, reassured, refocused.
Educating one's child reflects a fine balance of letting them experience some distress that is conducive to self reflection/learning and, very importantly, providing the soothing/warmth necessary so they grow up to feel secure. I think the key is to be able to provide our children with the tools that can ultimately allow them to react as normally as possible to life's adversities as well as the tools to avoid creating unnecessary drama; life can be so much easier if we learn how to manage our emotions and react in positive ways. In regard to child rearing, we know that Psychology science offers us a lot of insight (e.g., Attachment theory).
She said she gives comfort to her daughter.
I think You may have misunderstood what she said. She said she lets her experience all state of emotions do she validates them. So she lets her daughter be angry or have a meltdown but she definitely added that she does comfort her. She just teaches her daughter emotions. To learn emotional regulation you need to be able to recognize them.
She is a great analyzer. Do you think she doesn't know what her child is going through at a certain moment or what are the consequences of her behavior and counter actions? Of course she does. I think she is a great parent.
Maybe she tried to compress all her ideas in few words and didn't transmit all the steps of child education in such a short time. And people understand it based also on what they personally know.
@elsagrace
Agreed. She should watch Dr Gabor Máte and learn about a child’s needs. She’s already enforcing abandonment, sadly.
Then again, she’s creating a little femme Nikita and maybe that’s what she wants.
I respect this ladies service to her country.
Respectfully, I also have to say that I appreciate her view, but simply see it as her life circumstance and how she sees the world through the lens of her own life.
I don’t wish challenge on anyone, but it does change perspective.
Often, for me it’s the people with more life experience, that have suffered for whatever reason that seem to truly want to help others and have the best information to share.
And that is exclusively just my opinion and whom I choose to listen to personally
I get what you're saying and agree. We're largely who we are because of what life has put in our path. Life is lived forward but understood backwards.
She’s inspiring and mesmerising to listen to.
YES! This information should be taught in schools. I've made major changes in my life since I listened to one of her interviews. Thanks Lewis and Evy.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
No time left to teach things that matter in life. Critical race theory and understanding the "capitalism" is the driver of all evil on this planet is more important.
I don’t agree on her not taking her baby, you can’t treat a baby like that when baby is so small.
I agree. A friend of mine did this to both her kids. When they cried, she didn’t pick them up. When they were hungry, she would say sorry it’s not time. She had them on a schedule. Any other time, Just too bad. And guess what. They both have autism. One is a boy and one is a girl. About 3 years apart.
I took the role to be defective, because I am a child of an alcoholic and a narcissist. My narc mom pursuaide me that I am somehow defective, too sensitive, too emotional, and thatit is the result of the drinking od my father. It took me 49 years and a mariadge to a narc, to start to learn that there is nothing wrong with me. It was them, not me. Can you immagine the shock? Now I am a recovering codependent.
"If I am special, everybody else isn't." No!
"I am special because EVERYBODY is special."
That's what I thought
Us humans make a huge fuss over our species, but most of us are basically apes that somebody shaved down and taught how to speak. Nothing "special" about most humans, aside from having brains that work with language human beings are just another animal.
20:01 interesting conversation but this is not a great parenting advice. An 18 months old child is NOT able to self regulate yet. In fact, they need co regulation from their parents to eventually learn how to self regulate. Secure attachment will make the most resilient child. A child who makes the experience that others are not consistently emotionally available, responsive, and engaged are developing insecure attachment patterns, which increases vulnerabilities for all sorts of mental disorders.
Self efficacy and agency are important skills but developmentally they are learned much later
Stopped the video exactly at the same time stamp. I don't understand how people don't see who she really is. She might be a great agent, but trying to apply these training methods on her on child is a recipe for a disaster. It's well known that covert narcissists excel at manipulation and gaslighting, pointing their fingers at others. Also, as someone else said - it's easy to be instrumental until you become the target. And you are likely to become a target if you're questioning the orders and/or not being a 'team player'. It's a usual procedure to pick people for these sort of jobs from those deeply traumatized and lost their direction and hope, and they need some 'deeper' purpose or 'meaning of life'. One might wonder whether the officially presented purposes of these jobs / agencies are really the real ones... We have seen many, many times throughout the history how this mantra 'you are doing this for the higher good' and/or 'you need to sacrifice yourself for others' has been used and abused for benefits of special individuals or small groups of individuals. This lady is very intelligent, talented, and well trained, but considering how many years she's been in the industry one would expect she can control her facial expressions and body language way more better. No, I don't buy this crap.
But also people ( most ppl ) know what they're supposed to say for interview
I so agree with the look at peoples patterns rather then what they say. Being instrumental or solution oriented is fine at work if your not being gaslit or manipulated. Working with others requires that your boss or others do their part as well. This was a problem at my old workplace the organization and structure of the environment their just didn't function correctly and the boss didn't step up and do her part of the work (I worked their for over 7 years). Now I am thriving at a different workplace where things are organized and they have systems and routines in place. So it is not all up to the individual. You can not fix something that is being run badly if your not in a management position. When you see experienced staff that have been their for years start to quit in masses it is time to move on.
Just like with people look at your workplaces patterns, what is their staff turnover rate, how do they speak to/treat their workers on the floor? How is the general vibe their. Do they listen if many different people ask for a certain thing to be fixed?
Sounds like a bad work culture and low vibrations.
Brava! In this day and age, it is unusual for new parents to let their children experience negative situations so that they learn how to solve and handle adversity. I speak from the experience allowing our twin daughters to fail, to learn from their own mistakes without bailing them out. They are now 35, and they are wonderful, loving productive adults. I've had parents of their peers approach me, telling me that they wish they had not enabled their kids, because their children, now adults, are unable to accept responsibility for their lives.
❤
Physcopaths tend to run freely in politcs, law and Finance.
An 18 month old cannot self soothe! You teach your child how to manage their emotions by first meeting their emotional needs. Insanity poor baby.
She didn’t elaborate, maybe she’s saying if her daughter fell and cries just from the surprise but she’s fine, she doesn’t rush. She’s Greek background and it happens
I was thinking exactly this. I'm not sure where she's learnt that from because she seems to know a lot about psychology but it stressed me when she said that
Always meeting a child's needs ensures that they'll never grow. You will not learn to self soothe until you're introduced to stress that demands it from you. The same thing applies to all children, even infants. Even infants learn through stress to stop biting their mothers tits.
Everyone needs stress. The challenge is discovering and utilizing the stress that helps people grow instead of causing arrested development.
Sometimes it's good to leave your children crying. It gives them the opportunity to comfort themselves. No opportunity means no learning. Its up to the children to use that opportunity to grow.
@@JaredProcleus-lh2ik She’s talking about a baby! Not a grown child. Big difference
@@JaredProcleus-lh2ik and an 18 month old does NOT need any stress to learn and grow 🤯
Thank you Evy for mentioning this: The similarity between athletes, military, and secret service is coachability. I've been an employer for decades and even if the term coachability was not commonly used or recognized, it was always one of the traits I was looking for in a prospective employee.
This was a really good interview ! The woman is concise and explains things very well. She is a smart woman. The man ( host ) asks interesting questions. is engaged in the discussion, and is very professional. But what makes him a very good interviewer is the fact he is sincerely interested in the discourse, and he is actively listening which the woman appreciates. And this is where " chemistry " happens. They each work off of one another. GREAT interview..
Guess who and what professions are known for extreme narcissist personality traits?
And ASPD...
Nursing
Ummm... something to do with three letter agencies, by any chance?
Yes.the biggest moment for me is that my past doesn't define me and that I don't have to be a victim no longer Also not to label the person but recognize the BEHAVIORS!
THANK YOU SOO MUCH TO THE BOTH OF YOU.
People tells you who they are WITH THEIR BEHAVIOR - not with words.
And,
What's true for you, is what you have seen (perceived) YOURSELF, and when you lose that, you have lost everything.
How is it possible to watch any of these narcissist videos without wondering if they are being presented by narcissists ? Those narcissists can be very clever.
Exactly. Good point. And Ellen DeGeneret, still on his intro when she has long been outed as an elitist who treated her employees with abuse. Why? Other than to name drop? I've unsubscribed.
My thoughts exactly 💯
Glad I'm not alone seeing this crap, exactly my thoughts. Critical thinking is so rare these days.
Well I will say this, nowadays it seems that if you talk about yourself you're instantly labeled a narcissist which I think is farthest from the truth. Narcissists truly only care about themselves and the only way to know if someone is is to spend time around them
love this super strong assertive woman! Clear and extremely intelligent! Driven for greatness! Sooooo many good strategies!! 💓
My circle as a child was governorness to child of ltcolonel who had grandmal seizures. We were together everywhere and i had a wonderful time, then one day they were gone. I dont know where to or really who was renee cuz lt colonel apparently remarried some southern bell whom help raise the three girls including tania, grand mal. Miss them, feel abandoned and i grew up damaged. It started out nice. . .
Life and times
Great interview, The gift is your life , talk less observe more, move from the past, label the behavior not the person, build connection and community.
Thank you for tuning in! :)
Why do gurus insist on using sports team analogies as good examples? ALL OVER we see entitled athletes whose outrageous behavior is celebrated and admired.
She thinks people are addicted to the "adrenaline" from the conflict in their lives, and so they perpetuate it. How unenlightened!!! Pathetic.
Psychopathology is a characteristic the CIA needs in many of its agents, as well as the narcissism required to think you are better than others (like those good people with empathy who have drama in their lives from people they are not psycho enough to heartlessly cut out of it).
I deeply pray that your life be filled with wealth, health and happiness
How'd a bot, do that for me before I even watched this and read comments?
Any form of disrespect as a lover, a friend is uncool and not welcome why people are seeking therapy is because of tolarating any kind of manipulation.
#truth🙏🏼
It's not about respect or disrespect. It's about accepting what others do and say as being about you or simply as a reflection of their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I.e., it's not about you. Making it about respect or disrespect is making yourself subject to being a victim of what they say or do based on whether you accept it as truth or choose not to accept it as truth, or as simply seeing those points of view as two of several ways you can choose to be about it. Don't let your own reactions drive what you do. Instead, see the many possibilities of how you can respond. It's a choice made in the moment.
Apparently her comments support the trend to ghost people who are grieving the loss of their own child! The vast majority of people have zero compassion for others. Telling people to push people out of your life if they are experiencing trauma isn't just cold it is sociopathic.
She's so awesome so much respect Pompouras 🙏 🫡