The Truth About Losing Friends in Your 20's | Letting Go, Cutting People Off & Forgiving
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- It feels like it's just a part of the coming-of-age story really. Very few people get to say they have kept the same friends throughout their whole lives, but that's kind of normal. But we do need to take care in how we navigate through our platonic relationships, especially as we sense ourselves drifting away from those we once called friends.
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I nearly cried when you said we haven’t met everyone who is going to love us yet. Thank you for this. I’m in my 30s and have recently lost 2 friends that I’ve had for almost 20 years. It hasn’t been easy but I still cherish the time we spent together and look forward to making new friends and sharing that friendship love again. 💕✨
That's a very healthy mindset
I’m loading my best friend I’ve had for ten years and this makes me feel a little less alone in that ❤
Hi seestas
Hey- this was 8 months ago now for you. Just wanted to remind you of this message you sent to see if your future self has made any new connections! Hope u have- I’m hoping I will soon too. And if not, we still have yet to meet all the people we will love :)
I lost a friend of 16 years this week because I have set boundaries. Honestly it was a long time coming and I’m not even sad about it. I wanted to do this for a long time now and this week she had shown me how selfish, childish and hypocritical she really is and I’m done.
Literally had the same situation a year ago! She was never really a good friend and there was no progression in her life. Im so happy she is gone
My lesson: you can do all the right/supportive things, with the wrong person.
If you put the effort in and see that it's not being reciprocated or approach them on their level and see its not working, you can't make them engage with you. Even if you are doing what you need to. No need to get upset or want them to value you, let them go.
I am 26 now and I am currently learning its okay to lose friend's as I grow in my personal journey in life. Not everyone is meant for our journey and we aren't meant for theirs. I believe I found two solid friends, but I am excited for this journey of life and the people I will meet.
I lost a childhood friend last year due to (what I think) was different expectations of friendship. She felt offended that she didn’t know certain things about my life, and I didn’t feel like she was entitled to that information (if I want to keep something private to myself, I’m entitled to that). I just think we were at different maturity levels. I know that sounds condescending but I feel like she still viewed friendship like we were in our 20s and under - the years where you share everything. We are now in our 30s and I have a husband and child - I don’t feel like I need to share everything anymore and i guess I’m no longer interested in friendships where “closeness” is dependent on how much personal info you know. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and not be too sensitive about petty stuff. That’s my new philosophy lol.
This is interesting. What would you then say determines ‘closeness’ in a friendship? To a degree, shouldn’t your friends know what is going on in your life- maybe not to a minute degree, but to a degree?
Can we be friends? Dont mind this !lol
@@theohsospontaneous yes i think there should def be sharing of information if one party wants to share etc but I feel like things get tricky when a friend feels entitled to certain information and therefore gets offended if you don’t tell them. To me, that’s when the relationship becomes codependent and a bit immature. If someone did not tell me something, there is a reason they chose not to, and I would never get mad at someone for not telling me something. If i felt some type of way, I would just re-examine our friendship and go from there. I wouldn’t cut the person off, I wouldn’t angrily say “why didn’t you tell me?” As if I’m entitled to know. That’s too messy. If we are grown women, we have our reasoning. I would accept that and still try to enjoy whatever good comes from the friendship. You don’t gotta throw a whole person away just because you don’t like one thing about them. That is why there is a loneliness problem. People are quick to cut and then be sad there’s no one around. You’re better off just lowering your expectations, re-examine the friendship and enjoy the good at whatever level you’re comfortable with. And not take friendships too seriously. Just enjoy the good and live your life.
seems like y’all are too different. she didn’t grow into that mentality, of being apart of a friends journey. she has a sisterhood type of thinking, and I won’t bash her for it. she just needs to find someone who would be as close as she was trying to be with you. idk
@@publiccoffee3652 I def think you are right! I just wish she distanced herself instead of ending the friendship. I have a feeling in a few years she’ll realize she didn’t need to be so emotional and dramatic about it. But the damage has already been done. And to me, she’s burned a bridge. And I take that stuff very seriously. It’s just a shame all around. Guess that’s life though.
them friendship breakups hurt so much 😢
I just turned 29 a week ago and I’m still struggling to find my friends.
I also, realised that the friends I had were from school and we drifted apart, I think that we accommodated each other because of the situation (school). And now, I find it hard to make new friends because of the failed friendships and opening to someone again and feeling disappointed when things don't work out 😞 it's disheartening. Thanks Courtney, I appreciate your content ❤.
I LOVE your maturity in regards to friendships! I absolutely AGREE. I don’t believe in cutting people off or burning bridges, but I have noticed this type of advice being pushed online. At the end of the day, I would rather be atleast neutral with everyone, than cut ties with people and completely remove them from my life, so much so that I wouldn’t even feel comfortable saying hello to them in public. I think the latter is so dramatic, messy and unnecessary. As you said, sometimes life happens and people drift apart, but that doesn’t mean you need to exit people’s lives in dramatic ways. I honestly think people who do that are immature and will eventually regret their actions years down the line. At the end of the day, it’s always nice to see an old friend and catch up, but you can’t do that with someone you had a messy falling out with. I love your message and agree with everything. I just hope people are intentional about keeping the peace or adjusting expectations/closeness in friendships, rather than cutting people off. To me, the latter is unnecessary.
I want friends so bad but it seems really impossible when it comes down to it. Especially when I'm going the extra mile to try to make a good impression yet and still somehow get rejected seemingly. I'm not shy. I go out to places by myself regularly (I don't have friends,🙁) bars, lounges, concerts, and vacation. The people that I meet along the way admire the fact that I can go places and do things on my own but I feel so forgettable to others yet entertaining for the moment and the vibe that their friend group is looking for... I've tried looking inward as far as my personality is concerned to see if I give off any red flags, but so far nothing really. But for the most part, I think it's cool that you have beautiful people come and go in your life although not all of them were the best at the time it still taught you something.
I connect with this comment 100%
Feeling entertaining for the moment but also forgettable and just not that ingredient that the group is looking for
I relate to you so fucking hard with everything you’ve said. Going out alone and hoping to be approached and establishing more than just a compliment or small convo but hey :/ we’ll have our chance ❤️
@@cherry-qm8pf thank you so much! I still don't have any friends to this day, which I'm kind of still bummed about, but I've learned that my experience is different from others and yet I'm able to go out to explore/ have a ball regardless! 🙂 I've created so many fun memories for me, myself and I ❤️
BRO IM THE SAME WAY
Ohw Courtney God sent you to upload this just for me because when i tell you i am currently heart broken as i accept the loss of a friendship of over a dacade or even more than half my life. And i was literally searching sermons inline with this because im so shattered and bitter and sad angry everything u name it lol
same here but we got this!
God will bring us our genuine group of friends .
@@Danishaa777 we do Amen
Awww man 🥺 I’m so sorry to hear this and I hope you find your people soon ❤️
you're so beautiful, I like your skin and your makeup is next level 😍
Awww thank you so much ❤️
As a 40 something I really needed this video. I’ve had a friendship of 30+ years that is no longer functional for both of us. For the past few years we have been drifting apart and this video has helped me how to navigate the conversation we need to have in order to let go and just move forward in a different way, if at all. Thanks.
The way i clicked on this when i saw it. Thank you for sharing this video. The topic is something i've been dealing with for a while now and the part you mentioned about "not having met everyone who will love you" has given me so much hope.
❤️❤️❤️ I’m so glad it helped
Thank you for sharing this video , I’m 21 and I’m navigating the friendship grounds . And I’ve learnt that it’s okay to decide who I want to be in my life and who I don’t , being scared to cut off with people that are clearly not meant for me or intentional about the friendship as I am . It’s okay to let them go . This video really did it for me , my older sister tells me a lot that I’m yet to meet all the people who would love me in life , and hearing a confirmation from you was the icing on the cake 🥂
Thanks so much I needed to hear this message. I’m coming into my 24th year next week and am feeling my typical birthday blues because I’ve felt it’s reminder of how alone and lonely I am. Inner self work has been transformative but isolating at times and honestly I think this is the first time in my
Life where I am genuinely excited to put myself out there to find community and true sisterhood. I’m so looking forward to pouring into others and finally allowing myself to be poured into. I’m trusting in god and in myself for the first time and I can’t wait to see what comes next for me! Thanks again for this video!❤
I'm in my 30s and this still applies to us also. Stay blessed sis x
Needed this! Thank you ❤
I really needed this today!! Thank You 😊
This moved me. Thank you 😢
Such a helpful and lovely video! Thank you!
I think I’ve outgrown my Uni friend but i don’t know how to go about it because she’s been such a good friend to me lately. I just feel like we’re not compatible like before.
Keep in contact with her, but see her less and less. It will naturally fade over time.
Wow! Honestly one of the best videos I’ve watched on friendships. Thank you for your wisdom! #subscribed 🤍🙏🏽💫
I absolutely love the content that you produce. 💯 Keep up the good work
This is one of the most timely videos I have come across so far. It really does help me center myself and understand that some friends/ people are just seasonal and the art of letting go and letting it be. Thank you Courtney.❤
This was helpful for me and I'm in my early thirties. Intentions is a very telling thing in how you show up for people and how they show up for you. I also purchased the book to read. Can't wait to dive in and learn some gems.🌻
I have a thing to really cut people off because I don't want people lingering around when they are not beneficial to me in any way
Had to watch this twice 🥹thank you for this video 💗
yes, i've been on a tangent on searching videos on navigating friendships. and this just really is true, past friendships can definitely mold us. I just hope to keep remolding myself into something better for those around me in the future, true change is what matters most. loved this✨
I’m subscribing cause of your makeup! Damn! It’s perfect, so subtle and blends in so well.
Nice video too, I was thinking about this before I came across your video!!!
Thank you so much for this ❤️
What a beautiful video thank you!!!
Courtney I love you! currently going through a phase of isolation and loneliness but God is in control I know that
I needed this so much! Thank you 🙏🏻
You are more than welcome ❤️✨
Friendships is one of my favourite topics and Courtney I really enjoy the book 🤩. I love how you speak about it especially when you’re transparent about it because it’s such an interesting topic and conversation to have and I could talk about this for hours with my ‘certain’ people. Even when you speak about relationships I love it as well it’s just so interesting to me.
Thank you so much for this my love, it’s always encouraging hearing your feedback ♥️♥️
I needed to hear this
Thank you❤
You look absolutely stunnning, your hair, makeup, SKINNN wow you’re glowing and looking beautiful ❤
Thank you so much for this. I’m 19 turning 20 this year and I’ve always lost friends yearly but.. the ones that I have now hurt the most because I can feel us outgrowing each other. I was used to things being quick and cut short suddenly but things feel like a slow and painful realization now
your words are healing❤
I think this season I’m in right now is teaching me that I desire deeper, meaningful, genuine friendships.. friends that are not only there when times are good but are there when times are really bad and will be there with you in the mud to pick you up when you’re down if you need it without you even having to ask for it. Just dependable, reliable friendships.
Perfect timing sis!🙏🏾🤍
❤️❤️
I trust you too & hope you were cleansed from that cry! sometimes we just need to cry it out, rest & watch our favourite childhood movie 🖤
This was good God bless you !
There should be a GC for Women who want new friends.
I agree
That would be good
Yes yes yes❤
How do we create one?
Instagram or WhatsApp?
I also want in even if I live in Tanzania but a virtual friend will do
Thank you for your video 🫶🏾🙏🏾
I love that lipstick so pretty!!
Why do your videos always come at the right time of my life❤️❤️❤️❤️
Awww thank you ❤️
I needed this so so bad
i miss her presence because she has a friendly face and i miss making her laugh but i realised that in order to truly get along i couldnt cuz our life styles are too different
I felt every single word 💔
Yes 😭 but I’m praying to God for my sisters🥺❤️🙏🏽
I had a cousin I was really close to as a child completely shut me out.. she started trying to shut me out 10 years prior, because she blocked me on every social media site except fb at the time.. I didn’t really care, I still sort of associated with her, but the ball really dropped when I chose to text her congratulations on her engagement instead of posting it on fb.. when I had no service for 1 and for 2 I wasn’t even on fb the day it was uploaded, so I didn’t see it until a week or so later.. well she got so offended that I wasn’t even invited to the wedding, I wasn’t wanted there. But the thing that gets me is she never congratulated me on my college, or even came to my graduation.. but Our grandma fell and that was the only in person contact we had prior to the wedding, and while I was standing there just us, she told her sister some people here won’t be invited to the wedding and they’ll be so mad.. it hurt me pretty bad, I just walked off and stayed to myself. There was no reason for that comment, even if I wasn’t wanted there. I just don’t understand why Facebook is soooo important, more important than a meaningful text. Especially when you’re in a place that had 0 internet service. I think personally, it was just an excuse to drift away, as like I said we were on rocks for about 10 years. It was just associating because we had family together. We don’t associate at all anymore, she doesn’t even come out to see the grandparents. It’s whatever though, I really appreciate this video. It made me feel better about my situation. I appreciate you.
I’ve been watching since 2017 i loveeeeee your videos :))))
Heyyy Courtney! You're video and audio quality is really good. Can you tell me what camera and lens and microphone you use??
I have no further interest in "seasonal people"
I noticed your video quality is crisp and matte, do you record on ur iPhone? Also what setting powder do you use to achieve a matte look?
Wow this video! So many gems indeed ❤️ I need to read your book!
❤️ I hope you do and you enjoy it
@@CourtneyDaniella thank you so much ❤️
For everyone looking for friends tell one another which country you live in and which state/ province you live in. Then get one another's instagram handles and hopefully you can find a friend.
My best friend of over 15 years has been acting distant towards me for a while. She acts like she does not want to be bothered. I did not do anything wrong to her. I just don't get it
Try and reach out if you find it’s one sided let it go. You wouldn’t want someone who won’t contact and speak to you in your life
I recently lost my only friend of 10 years last month I thought I would be sad because I did everything for her and found out she was talking bad about me to a guy then she barely knew 🤣 and at the end of everything he broke up with her then started making fun of her looks and calling her a snake …. Was it worth the 10 yr friendship with someone who genuinely loved you? 🤣
Wow ❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤️❤️
it feels scary ngl
🤍🤍🤍
Thanks for sharing your video and words of wisdom. I’m 27 and currently navigating through friendships, trying to figure out what I want out of friendships as well as be a better friend to the friends I have now. Letting people go and just loving from a distance isn’t easy but I know that the people that are for me will stick around. 🤗🤍 Love your video.
Ugh, I relate to this so much - turning 27 soon and still struggle to find a handful that reciprocate and aren’t toxic. I’ve tried Bumble, in person chit chat, and it’s a struggle. I appreciate those that were there but now I’m surrounded by flaky ppl and it triggers me, causes me not to want to even bother smh. Pray for me, still looking. 🫶🏿