Dr Clark,thank-you.I feel so much relief.I am actually quite tired of narcissists ruling the scene.Every-time normal people learn not to defend and not hit back when we are hit all the time.Im done.
Dr. Clarke, I had a jealous boss who attacked me in front of everyone, I did gray rock at that moment, preventing my anger from exploding. The next day she did more in front of everyone, but when I didn't respond, she started doing more and more, so it became obvious to everyone that she was the problem. And people started talking about it when she wasn't there. That was Thursday and Friday, Saturday I announced my departure from her team. I thought my approach was good because she wanted me to play her game, make me escalate and, in the end, play the victim. I didn't bite. But thinking about it now, maybe everyone thought I was weak, what do you think? I thought she was really freaked out and didn't have a script like yours, so if I said something, maybe I would play along with her. I'm grateful I didn't do that. But today I would do what you advised, I think it is more appropriate. Tysm
If someone wants out of a marriage pray about it i myself don't believe a person should stay in any kind of abuse physical and mental i have been in both i realized i could do better by myself there is nothing like peace being with a toxic person you will never be at peace we put up with a lot that we should not put up with the only way i am making it in life is because i have Jesus Christ in my life i am still a work in progress sign Cynthia Smith moving forward
Happy New Year Dr. Clarke and Team (Family)! This has been Awesome Advice - Sadly I have been having to use it a lot lately BUT it does raise my Strength and Shut it down as Quickly as possible, I do as you say I make it Short and No Nonsense and Have Faith to Mix it up a bit - So it sort of Catches the Arrow - Snaps it and drops it on the floor or tosses the pieces back. Thank you for this Holy Advice that in the past I did not do because I thought sucking it All up was better for the Children. I would have honest conversations with them about it’s Unacceptableness after the fact. I thought the many years (over 32) I was Bravely helping with PTSD and when the person was getting Everything their way and I sucked up all discomfort plus All Responsibility things were « peaceful » for moments at a time. I figured out if I put all thirty plus years together - I probably could add all the moments up and say I enjoyed a years worth. Pitiful Really but I held Marriage Sacred and thought I was Battling on Another Front. ❤❤ Now for God to Bring About the Healing and Restoration. 🎉🎉
Amen please keep speaking this trueth been through this and now have understanding and respect for myself thank you for helping myself and so many to gain strength reassurance
He even told me i don't get and i don't have any idea how it feels like to be in a toxic relationship because hes been in a few relationship before and it was toxic and u healthy. And he is doing the sane thing to me and trying to make an excuse because of his past and will tell me i need to treat him well.
It's opposite. He is going to say mean words to me when we have misunderstandings. He is going to say nasty mean words to me and tell me it's very uncalled to say it when I say something or respond. He even told me that I need to fix my head because something is wrong in there. Verbal abused is just normal to him. Even belittling me and my family. Called me by some mean names. He said he is not mentally stable because of me. But I learned he was doing the same to his exes. He even going to tell me I need to treated him well. But never asked himself how the way he is treating me. He even told me that I don't have the right to complain because he is supporting me. Same thing of what he did to his exes. Giving them money to control the relationship. I'm not allowed to say something or else he will get upset. He hates it if I say something I don't like or when I bringing up something made me feel uncomfortable. He keeps on saying I need to change but never said it to himself. When I learned about his family background and past relationships it wasn't good at all. Been with different women and just keep on jumping in a new relationship. He likes women who compliments him and just sleep with them and when his done he will find new one. I never knew about it before and when I confronted him he was so upset and despise me of knowing it. Such an evil person .
much said of a parent and child of any roles of genders, even same genders (mother and daughter, or father and son). this can also apply to when the relationship of a parent and child are in codependent of one another, but sometimes in different appoach too.
You are not “no contact” if they can get messages to you in any form. Texts, email, social media or others used as a vessel to pass along messages to abuse you are abusers themselves by perpetuating the abuse. No contact means no contact. Period.
Block them or change your number because in their delusional minds they filter it as you’re OK with it and leaving the door open. No contact and not responding are two different things because they know you’re reading and receiving the messages. When you block and cut all access, it is a boundary that you’re not tolerating Jezebel! God bless! ❤️🙏🏻✝️
Can you block them? Also pray that they find something else to do, or pray that they forget to compose the messages and send them. I prayed recently that some family members who were really nasty to me many times in the past would just forget about me. Forget about what they were planning to do. It worked, God has a lot of angels. One person who's bothered myle a lot is hard to get out of my mind, he's been such a [censored]. But I plan to pray that I can forget about his bad stuff, if it's not going to have bad consequences. Sometimes I feel forgiving and then his last creepy comment will pop into my head and I think no, I need to avoid him.
I would not let them go, big that's just me. I'd also pray about it. I wrote a certain amount of stuff in journals when it happened, after putting up with a ton of stuff from certain people. I plan on keeping the journals, but it kept me from forgetting what the problem was. I used to just shove it back in my head or forget about it. That just didn't help. I also have scribbled out done things after processing whether it was a good idea or not. I don't think I will regret those things that I did delete.
Yes hea always doing this to me when his upset. Verbal abused, saying nasty and mean words to me and won't admit it. He said he didn't mean it. But no, hes evil.
Yes, there are a lot of lukewarm Christian churches out there, Jesus even said it. I was in a church where I got harassed by one of their lay pastors and they did do something about it, but he didn't pay any attention except to get sneakier. I saw after that they had a lot of other bad policies having low expectations of men and letting women do a lot of work and paying for stuff. This guy was just awful and they were just looking at the church budget and not what does God want. I left and everytime I think about talking to any of them I just immediately remember what they did. Lots of other churches in my area did the same or worse. Anyway, yes. There are many who say Lord Lord but they do nothing but nurture abuse.
Does Narc men didn't know theyre narc and toxic? Or just convincing themselves they aren't? Because im sure you'll know ans feel if you did something wrong that isn't nice youll be aware about it.
Its a bit funny becaut he tried to do this to me. Told me my remarks was uncalled because i called him out. And i was like oh god is he sure absolutely evil.
You know i grew up hearing sticks and stones may break my bones but talk will never bother me this is a lie talk do bother people you got to know who you are for talk to not bother you i have my identity in Christ Jesus its because of Jesus Christ i live and move and have my being sign Cynthia Smith we brought nothing into this world and we not take anything with us when we leave so enjoy life
Dr Clark,thank-you.I feel so much relief.I am actually quite tired of narcissists ruling the scene.Every-time normal people learn not to defend and not hit back when we are hit all the time.Im done.
This advice is pure gold!! I've never seen anyone talking like that!
Dr. Clarke, I had a jealous boss who attacked me in front of everyone, I did gray rock at that moment, preventing my anger from exploding. The next day she did more in front of everyone, but when I didn't respond, she started doing more and more, so it became obvious to everyone that she was the problem. And people started talking about it when she wasn't there. That was Thursday and Friday, Saturday I announced my departure from her team. I thought my approach was good because she wanted me to play her game, make me escalate and, in the end, play the victim. I didn't bite. But thinking about it now, maybe everyone thought I was weak, what do you think? I thought she was really freaked out and didn't have a script like yours, so if I said something, maybe I would play along with her. I'm grateful I didn't do that. But today I would do what you advised, I think it is more appropriate. Tysm
If someone wants out of a marriage pray about it i myself don't believe a person should stay in any kind of abuse physical and mental i have been in both i realized i could do better by myself there is nothing like peace being with a toxic person you will never be at peace we put up with a lot that we should not put up with the only way i am making it in life is because i have Jesus Christ in my life i am still a work in progress sign Cynthia Smith moving forward
Had to abandon my home because of criminal neighbors narcissist, they been calling me and stalking me for years.
Happy New Year Dr. Clarke and Team (Family)! This has been Awesome Advice - Sadly I have been having to use it a lot lately BUT it does raise my Strength and Shut it down as Quickly as possible, I do as you say I make it Short and No Nonsense and Have Faith to Mix it up a bit - So it sort of Catches the Arrow - Snaps it and drops it on the floor or tosses the pieces back. Thank you for this Holy Advice that in the past I did not do because I thought sucking it All up was better for the Children. I would have honest conversations with them about it’s Unacceptableness after the fact. I thought the many years (over 32) I was Bravely helping with PTSD and when the person was getting Everything their way and I sucked up all discomfort plus All Responsibility things were « peaceful » for moments at a time. I figured out if I put all thirty plus years together - I probably could add all the moments up and say I enjoyed a years worth. Pitiful Really but I held Marriage Sacred and thought I was Battling on Another Front. ❤❤ Now for God to Bring About the Healing and Restoration. 🎉🎉
This is exactly what I’m going thru for 2 years I moved out house 3 months ago tho married to female covert Christian narcissist
Yes, we have to let go of them, when they just don't stop. Those kinds of statements are very helpful to bring peace back to us. And logic.
Amen please keep speaking this trueth been through this and now have understanding and respect for myself thank you for helping myself and so many to gain strength reassurance
Great advice, Dr. Clarke. Thank you for giving empaths strength to push back. I wish I had done this from the beginning!
Yes thank you David happy New Year and I appreciate this video and this message ❤
He even told me i don't get and i don't have any idea how it feels like to be in a toxic relationship because hes been in a few relationship before and it was toxic and u healthy. And he is doing the sane thing to me and trying to make an excuse because of his past and will tell me i need to treat him well.
It's opposite. He is going to say mean words to me when we have misunderstandings. He is going to say nasty mean words to me and tell me it's very uncalled to say it when I say something or respond. He even told me that I need to fix my head because something is wrong in there. Verbal abused is just normal to him. Even belittling me and my family. Called me by some mean names. He said he is not mentally stable because of me. But I learned he was doing the same to his exes. He even going to tell me I need to treated him well. But never asked himself how the way he is treating me. He even told me that I don't have the right to complain because he is supporting me. Same thing of what he did to his exes. Giving them money to control the relationship. I'm not allowed to say something or else he will get upset. He hates it if I say something I don't like or when I bringing up something made me feel uncomfortable. He keeps on saying I need to change but never said it to himself. When I learned about his family background and past relationships it wasn't good at all. Been with different women and just keep on jumping in a new relationship. He likes women who compliments him and just sleep with them and when his done he will find new one. I never knew about it before and when I confronted him he was so upset and despise me of knowing it. Such an evil person .
Thanks, Dr. Clarke!
I'd love to hear HER side of the story. Most women want out due to abuse or neglect, not on a whim like men like you believe.
You do not speak for "most women". Such arrogance.
much said of a parent and child of any roles of genders, even same genders (mother and daughter, or father and son). this can also apply to when the relationship of a parent and child are in codependent of one another, but sometimes in different appoach too.
Laughter is like medicine it heals your bones sign Cynthia Smith
Can you please advise on parents who are narcs? I’ve gone no contact but get horrible messages from them.
You are not “no contact” if they can get messages to you in any form. Texts, email, social media or others used as a vessel to pass along messages to abuse you are abusers themselves by perpetuating the abuse. No contact means no contact. Period.
Block them or change your number because in their delusional minds they filter it as you’re OK with it and leaving the door open. No contact and not responding are two different things because they know you’re reading and receiving the messages. When you block and cut all access, it is a boundary that you’re not tolerating Jezebel! God bless! ❤️🙏🏻✝️
Stay strong!!
Can you block them? Also pray that they find something else to do, or pray that they forget to compose the messages and send them.
I prayed recently that some family members who were really nasty to me many times in the past would just forget about me. Forget about what they were planning to do.
It worked, God has a lot of angels. One person who's bothered myle a lot is hard to get out of my mind, he's been such a [censored].
But I plan to pray that I can forget about his bad stuff, if it's not going to have bad consequences. Sometimes I feel forgiving and then his last creepy comment will pop into my head and I think no, I need to avoid him.
I have 3 verbal abuse videos. I have held on to them for over 2 years. Annulment is final. What should I do with these?
Pass videos on to someone else that is in a toxic relationship believe there are many toxic relationship out there sign Cynthia Smith
I would not let them go, big that's just me. I'd also pray about it. I wrote a certain amount of stuff in journals when it happened, after putting up with a ton of stuff from certain people.
I plan on keeping the journals, but it kept me from forgetting what the problem was. I used to just shove it back in my head or forget about it.
That just didn't help. I also have scribbled out done things after processing whether it was a good idea or not. I don't think I will regret those things that I did delete.
Yes hea always doing this to me when his upset. Verbal abused, saying nasty and mean words to me and won't admit it. He said he didn't mean it. But no, hes evil.
Yes if you KNOW this crap is killing you dont listen to the pastor he doesn't have to deal with this!
Yes, there are a lot of lukewarm Christian churches out there, Jesus even said it. I was in a church where I got harassed by one of their lay pastors and they did do something about it, but he didn't pay any attention except to get sneakier.
I saw after that they had a lot of other bad policies having low expectations of men and letting women do a lot of work and paying for stuff.
This guy was just awful and they were just looking at the church budget and not what does God want.
I left and everytime I think about talking to any of them I just immediately remember what they did. Lots of other churches in my area did the same or worse.
Anyway, yes. There are many who say Lord Lord but they do nothing but nurture abuse.
Does Narc men didn't know theyre narc and toxic? Or just convincing themselves they aren't? Because im sure you'll know ans feel if you did something wrong that isn't nice youll be aware about it.
Its a bit funny becaut he tried to do this to me. Told me my remarks was uncalled because i called him out. And i was like oh god is he sure absolutely evil.
Medicine is an art not science.
You know i grew up hearing sticks and stones may break my bones but talk will never bother me this is a lie talk do bother people you got to know who you are for talk to not bother you i have my identity in Christ Jesus its because of Jesus Christ i live and move and have my being sign Cynthia Smith we brought nothing into this world and we not take anything with us when we leave so enjoy life
Rebuke them in Jesus name, get thee behind me Satan
Yep, we have another useless pastor involved. Nice to know Dr. Clarke reads the Bible himself. This advice would apply with abusive parents.