I’ve been in denial for many years. The scary thing is I’ve finally had enough and am starting to wake up and truly admit to myself all the horrible things this person has done to me. It’s heartbreaking honestly because one part of me still doesn’t want to believe it’s true yet the other part has known for years. These videos are tough to listen to because they ring so true but I need to hear them.
Get yourself set up to leave and be safe because he will soon know that you know. it will all unravel. The best revenge is to leave safely and get a life of your own before he can violently discard you for knowing what you know.
Simple answer: NO…they do NOT care that they are hurting you. You do not matter to them whatsoever…learned this the hard way during an 11 year toxic relationship 😔
@@ritapeters1330no, they don't. If they reflect in that way and change behavior they are probably not a narcissist. A narcissist will react defensive when you try to explain they hurt you, they can't and won't accept criticism even if it is given in the most constructive way. They can eventually admit to something if that serves them a purpose, but it doesn't mean they really mean it.
@@SenSakura-dj6bq then maybe it serves his purpose, that is possible, but would not be what I want 😢 he is a covert narcisisst and I've been through it all. Silent treatmrnt he stopped, now he discusses things, which is great, I talk to him showing him my feelings setting boundaries, he does belittle me often, gaslights a bit, or confabulates, whatever, not saying bad words to me, dies not shout at me, passive-aggressive, once withheld s*x, but explained it nicely , nonlzst, pain in his arm, rires, works full-tine happened once, but does not cuddle long, says he is not romantic, but does not run away anymore, I feel secure with him. Also feel a bond from him, from me too for sure. I give him validatiion, lots of it actually and supply , he is somehow nice to me but wants to be superior to me which he is not. Also he is very consistent and I trust him 100% which I also tell him and also tell him.that I deeply love him. In bed he is not selfish, but does not give me enough love afterwards. Also in public does not show much affection. Like holding hands. A covert narcisisst, don 't you think?
They just reframe it to where they didn’t do anything and you were the one with erratic behavior. Therefore, they end up being a victim in their minds and to all the people they are probably going to tell about it.
I consistently am told “get over it” “why cant you just move forward?” “you already talked about this” My response is “because moving forward to you means disregarding my feelings” “how can i move forward when the issue has not been resolved and you refuse to hear me or take any accountability for the things you say and do that affect me?” He will then retort “quit acting like such a victim”“You’re so f-ing whiny” “Shut the f-k up” It is so humiliating to be in a relationship where my husband is so disrespectful and talks to me like this. I am exhausted with the constant name calling that follows when I want to talk things through or my feelings to be acknowledged and respected. He will lash out insult me, swear, yell, get physical, blame me and not speak to me for days, weeks up to a month. 20 years of marriage, 28 years together. Things only get worse, not better.
I’m so sorry to hear this…I dealt with this exact same thing for 11 years. He would tell me to “go f*ck myself “ when I could cry because he hurt me…say goodbye to them, it’s best for you and your sanity ❤
Fortunately I’m out of a relationship with a covert narcissist now, but one of the most cutting comments he made to me was when I was experiencing a traumatic response to a stressful event. Foolishly, thinking a normal response from my partner would be to provide reassurance to me, instead he said “Do you ever think about the impact you being upset has on me? Does how I feel when you’re upset even matter to you? “. I was lost for words. I dumped this man, only to be talked back into the relationship, then he dumped me a week later and proceeded to abuse me because I didn’t beg him back. Apparently my not begging was proof I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore (which, I thought was obvious, but think it was maybe a test in his mind??). At the risk of gaslighting myself, can someone explain to me how any of this makes sense…
My narcissistic friend humiliated me , gave me silent treatment, made me hoover him, just to make me become his brother in law and then make me follow Islam. He punished me by depriving me of sleep for not marrying his sister.
Can you make a video about when it's time to actually leave the narcissist? Or the odds they will reform.. Should they reform alone and seek you out after or something? Also, I've read that narcissism rarely comes alone.. maybe they have OCD, or BPD on top of it... Or something else that Also Equally needs to be addressed for them to heal! Also, what about the few moments a Narcissist is force to realize they've actually messed up!?
He'd rather go work and leave our kids home alone so he can make money for himself! My kids are looking after themselves til he decides to go home. Many times, left Few hours after work to buy more tools for his work. Later, making our teenage daughter do all household chores and while babysitting her baby and doing homework, all bc he's tired from working all day??
I’ve been in denial for many years. The scary thing is I’ve finally had enough and am starting to wake up and truly admit to myself all the horrible things this person has done to me. It’s heartbreaking honestly because one part of me still doesn’t want to believe it’s true yet the other part has known for years. These videos are tough to listen to because they ring so true but I need to hear them.
Get yourself set up to leave and be safe because he will soon know that you know. it will all unravel. The best revenge is to leave safely and get a life of your own before he can violently discard you for knowing what you know.
Simple answer: NO…they do NOT care that they are hurting you. You do not matter to them whatsoever…learned this the hard way during an 11 year toxic relationship 😔
I think they know and avoid hurting you once you told them when they did it, so mine stops it, a covert
@@ritapeters1330no, they don't. If they reflect in that way and change behavior they are probably not a narcissist. A narcissist will react defensive when you try to explain they hurt you, they can't and won't accept criticism even if it is given in the most constructive way. They can eventually admit to something if that serves them a purpose, but it doesn't mean they really mean it.
@@SenSakura-dj6bq then maybe it serves his purpose, that is possible, but would not be what I want 😢 he is a covert narcisisst and I've been through it all. Silent treatmrnt he stopped, now he discusses things, which is great, I talk to him showing him my feelings setting boundaries, he does belittle me often, gaslights a bit, or confabulates, whatever, not saying bad words to me, dies not shout at me, passive-aggressive, once withheld s*x, but explained it nicely , nonlzst, pain in his arm, rires, works full-tine happened once, but does not cuddle long, says he is not romantic, but does not run away anymore, I feel secure with him. Also feel a bond from him, from me too for sure. I give him validatiion, lots of it actually and supply , he is somehow nice to me but wants to be superior to me which he is not. Also he is very consistent and I trust him 100% which I also tell him and also tell him.that I deeply love him. In bed he is not selfish, but does not give me enough love afterwards. Also in public does not show much affection. Like holding hands. A covert narcisisst, don 't you think?
They just reframe it to where they didn’t do anything and you were the one with erratic behavior. Therefore, they end up being a victim in their minds and to all the people they are probably going to tell about it.
I consistently am told “get over it” “why cant you just move forward?” “you already talked about this” My response is “because moving forward to you means disregarding my feelings” “how can i move forward when the issue has not been resolved and you refuse to hear me or take any accountability for the things you say and do that affect me?”
He will then retort “quit acting like such a victim”“You’re so f-ing whiny” “Shut the f-k up”
It is so humiliating to be in a relationship where my husband is so disrespectful and talks to me like this. I am exhausted with the constant name calling that follows when I want to talk things through or my feelings to be acknowledged and respected. He will lash out insult me, swear, yell, get physical, blame me and not speak to me for days, weeks up to a month. 20 years of marriage, 28 years together. Things only get worse, not better.
My experience with my husband mirrors yours...for the last 27 years. The abuse is relentless!
I’m so sorry to hear this…I dealt with this exact same thing for 11 years. He would tell me to “go f*ck myself “ when I could cry because he hurt me…say goodbye to them, it’s best for you and your sanity ❤
This is all too familiar
Fortunately I’m out of a relationship with a covert narcissist now, but one of the most cutting comments he made to me was when I was experiencing a traumatic response to a stressful event. Foolishly, thinking a normal response from my partner would be to provide reassurance to me, instead he said “Do you ever think about the impact you being upset has on me? Does how I feel when you’re upset even matter to you? “. I was lost for words. I dumped this man, only to be talked back into the relationship, then he dumped me a week later and proceeded to abuse me because I didn’t beg him back. Apparently my not begging was proof I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore (which, I thought was obvious, but think it was maybe a test in his mind??). At the risk of gaslighting myself, can someone explain to me how any of this makes sense…
God will punish these demons in the end.
He doesn’t want to hear it….. Those exact words..
Mine does have to hear what hurts me if he wants to stay with me
@@ritapeters1330 once I begin to 1 of 2 things happen…… he either gets up and leaves or falls asleep while I’m talking……. 🤷🏽♀️
@@DanceChickaDee yes, he is not afraid of losing you, you have to set boundaries, maybe yours os an overt
I tell him if he hurts me and he stops doing it, so he does understand, he has a bond to me too, so have I, he is a covert
Thnx, man, that helps. I am valuable, so i bailed & haven't looked back.
I LISTEN OVER AND OVER to your videos…
Thank you soooo much for all of them!
Yup…it is WORSE…that they can see and do not care.
From JANESVILLE, WI
Thank you for all theses videos.
From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI
So good, Ben. Thank you!
My pleasure!
Very informative
Glad you liked it
My narcissistic friend humiliated me , gave me silent treatment, made me hoover him, just to make me become his brother in law and then make me follow Islam. He punished me by depriving me of sleep for not marrying his sister.
Mine cares about hurting me because I tell him, a covert
Can you make a video about when it's time to actually leave the narcissist? Or the odds they will reform..
Should they reform alone and seek you out after or something?
Also, I've read that narcissism rarely comes alone.. maybe they have OCD, or BPD on top of it... Or something else that Also Equally needs to be addressed for them to heal!
Also, what about the few moments a Narcissist is force to realize they've actually messed up!?
Yes leave and get to a place where if they reform or don’t you don’t care you’ve forgot about them
Trust me I lost 10yrs to a complete coward 😂😂😂
He'd rather go work and leave our kids home alone so he can make money for himself! My kids are looking after themselves til he decides to go home. Many times, left Few hours after work to buy more tools for his work. Later, making our teenage daughter do all household chores and while babysitting her baby and doing homework, all bc he's tired from working all day??
No dont care