No matter how calm/not calm you are... what's something that just TRIGGERS you? I'll go first lol - when people don't take the time to properly read/watch/comprehend something (anything) and start asking questions that could've been answered had they just paid attention. Now you go.
I legitimately scream into a pillow from time to time. It really rather suggests i have some anger issues but better out than in. You Lana are a Massive help to me. Thank you.
The main thing that restrict me to get rid of anxiety is some triggers, like certain situations,places & feelings. Now automatic chemical reactions happens in my brain through these triggers, it leads me to pattern of thinking & i grow anxious 😭😭😭😿
I think this quote about calmness is quite good: "Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face" - Manoj Arora
When people assume that I’m boring because I don’t care about drinking and partying in college. little do they know that there’s more to life than recreational alcoholism.
In France we say "fumes avant que la vie te fume", which means that we have to embrace our moment by partying etc... but i'd rather prefer to improve my behavior🤷♂️
*I think I’m just constantly torn between “every single little thing matters and will trigger my anxiety” and “literally nothing matters-we’re just a tiny piece of insignificant dust and none of this will ever be important in the grand scheme of things anyway”* THIS IS THE INSIDE OF MY HEAD, CONSTANTLY! finally someone gets it!
U did not mentioned that Your environment plays the important role. I live with my family and every time i try to stay calm I ended up affected by my parents. Screaming, throwing things, it's stressing me out. The only way to stay calm is to move, to change your environment
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When you can't do that I'd recommend staying somewhere where you can be at peace such as your room and a playlist of calm songs that's what I do
true calmness is about not letting anything around you affect your state of being, if you just remove it you’re not letting it become an opportunity to develop your resilience. in other words if you’re letting yourself get affected by the exterior than you depend on your surroundings to feel calm instead of finding calmness from within.
I agree, I'll always try to relaxed before my anger takes everything but It's so difficult so I agree that a new environment will help a lot to change.
its most likely how anger kind of puts your mind on autopilot. you get blinded by anger and cant think about things that easily than being calm and not so worked up
Sometimes it's about releasing emotions, which isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes being "calm" in a situation isn't "real calm", it's bottled up anger. It's funny, but sometimes throwing a towel or whatever can calm me down. Breaking items or yelling loud and scaring people isn't okay, but the pent up energy from anger can be used up from singing or screaming into a pillow, and the destructive/throw things energy can be recycled into certain types of art and sports. It's just important to recognize when you're "releasing" emotions as opposed to egging yourself on and making yourself feel worse.
Lol i’m an extrovert learning how to be an introvert with this channel. I think introverts have the key (or are closer to the key) to living meaningful and peaceful individual lives.
When I was on high school I used to not worry about exams or homework. I had classmates that lost their hair because of the stress of those times, classmates that would cry because of the frustration. I feel sad they had to go through all that and I remember a lot of people would say I was always chilled, and I like being like that! I do what she says, I pick the battles that are really worthy in my life, big decisions, mental health, never about exams which marks don't define me! I hope whoever is reading this can also start being like this, it's a little of inner peace and it's nice, but I still trigger sometimes mostly when it comes to racism, animal abuse or machismo, I'm not cool in those moments haha
heyy not to sound rude and i really appreciate your way of thinking about life and exams but coming from a place where everyone really cares about your grades and academic things,, sometimes people cry not because of the frustration but because the results don't come out as expected and they've worked really hard on. I hope it isn't offensive to say this but 'cry like babies' just a bit disrespectful. Not saying anything like marks should determine who you are and stuff, but sometimes it is really painful to see that your hard work doesn't pay off and i hope you understand :) have a nice day!
@@NaraTam1121 yes you're right! I'm sorry. I had to drop out of college due to never being able to organize my studies. It was messing up my mental health and maybe I didn't care much in high school bc I didn't like anything my school was teaching me, but if your goal is to do things a certain way/getting certain results, it's hard to "just not care". Thank u. And I hope you have a great day too ❣️
@@denisedeharenne1270 awhh thank you and the whole reply was just hoping that you won't use the term 'cry like babies' since it sounds really bad while letting out your emotions is pretty normal,, just a small friendly reminder!
I work in a call center and I'm watching this video so I could apply this to my daily work. There are days that it so hard to deal with, because people take the anger they have on a very personal level. I'm a very understanding and caring human being but sometimes the insults and humiliations I get is too much. Hopefully I can get something from this because the stress and the negativity gets in to me and I want to avoid that and I hope other people who is watching this can get a lot from this too. Sometimes we forget to consider other people's emotions just because we are too frustrated. "Screaming and throwing things around doesn't magically summon missing objects."
I had a fight with my mother. She can be SO toxic and mean spirited. So, she provoked me and I felt for it. I screamed and said so many mean things. I was trying to stay calm but what she said was so unnecessary and mean that I failed to keep my cool. My goal in life is to always control myself in all situations.
Just stay away from her. Dont be around her. Talk about important things only. Also cancel anything that involved her. Just shut up when she angry or say nasty things at u.
Smiley Face you Just won’t believe what just happened. At this very second I have tears in my eyes. We just fought again and I’m living with her because I’m pregnant and I’m still at university. I need her help. She was mean to me again, I begged her to respect me, I will give birth at any moment now and did not want to fight, she said, you know what? Just pick your things and get out of my house. I came to my room now and begged Jesus to comfort me, to help me and seconds later I saw this comment of yours. Maybe it is a sign. and if it is, it is telling me to stay as far as possible from her, even if I’m still living under the same root.
It’s always funny when ppl think you’re always so calm but you know that in the inside you’re panicked af, your brain is on fire and analyzing everything
Words of caution to all calm people out there. I was and still am “the calmest” among my groups of friends since I was in high school. When I was 27, I went to therapy and the therapist legit said my anxiety is higher than average. I was confused af. But then realised that being calm for me is a coping mechanism and me suppressing my emotions. I was so unhealthy emotionally. The same happened to my “calm” friend. So guys, I’d recommend going to therapy at least once just to see if you really are calm in a healthy way or not.
So true..i always tell people what's bothering me..a lot of people have said that i'm too straightforward..but i always felt like if i will hide or supress my emotions it will get worse
@@ketkimehta4368 yeah I used to intentionally detach from situations when it was too much, now I’m learning to speak through things with someone I trust to confide in
Thank you for the comment because I just couldn't relate. I'm impatient and short tempered If I care about something that's not going my way. The only way to stay calm is if I consciously decide to disconnect from it. I'm a Scorpio too
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i resonate with Lana so much as a fellow introvert. in our society its like we have to make friends, interact with people, show energy. but most of the time i just want to go to my room because people are so exhausting
Exhausting. Yes. When I was young, human contact seemed to be worth the price I paid in stress and fatigue, but as I've gotten older, that's less true.
I remember back then when my classmate told me that he wanted to be me because I was “stress-free” and “calm”, but little did he know there was a chaos in my mind lmao
So basically.... whenever ever we're having emotional reaction about something....stop for a moment and think about that reaction logically by either having verbal conversation with your self or simply thinking it....then it helps you to whether reacting on particular situation is rightful thing or not at all :)
Actually we need to feel the emotions in our body as physical sensations and recognize what emotions we're experiencing. We need the emotions to pass on its own. Then comes the step of logical thinking. If we don't process our emotions we will never know what our triggers are and how to make peace with them.
If by unbothered you mean not caring about worldly desires (like being liked, noticed, praised, materialism) then yes. But I would say things definitely bother her/concern her. For instance it bothers (not angers but bothers) her that some people can't accept her calm personality. Otherwise she wouldn't have made this video. It's important to care about things, but we need to prioritize what we truly care about which is what she intentionally strives to do and likes to talk about on this channel (which, by the way, she does well 💕)
There has been a significant shift in my life since adapting this type of mindset; none of this will exist 200-300 years from now, so do what makes you happy and don't take things too seriously. Great content! I am going to attempt a voice-over type video here soon and you incorporate it effortlessly!
people have told me that they'd appreciate seeing me angry because it seems so opposite of me because when something upsetting happens i try to react in an understanding way most of the time. thank you for making this video
I often feel like I'm the only calm person on the planet. Most everyone I know is always so stressed or angry. Always one second away from losing it. This video provided some much needed enlightenment. I never knew how to vocalize my perspective, but this really taught me a thing or two, and certainly helped me feel a lot less alone in my way of life. Thank you for that.
I’m glad I’m not alone on this. I’ve always been told why I’m so calm all the time that sometimes I feel so out of place and weird but I realized it’s because I choose peace, to have compassion for myself and others than allowing anger and frustration control me. It also starts within, when you learn to accept that things aren’t always going to be in your control and treat yourself with compassion and others.
Thank you sooo much for making this video, Lana! They say I'm a calm person, they don't know how my life & problems really are. I've been struggling for years (kinda hard years for me), yet I don't seem like I'm struggling. They think I'm okay because I'm being calm and don't wanna waste my energy. They don't think that I can handle 'hard days' because I look like people who don't have problems (usually). It's actually because I don't express a lot. Finally, I know someone who does that too!
I think you're right Charlie. I think some people look at life through a lens of emotions and intuition, their thoughts are scattered. Holding these emotions inside can be damaging if you just pretend they aren't there when they in fact are and can be incredibly strong. To these people it would be inauthentic and would likely cause a bottling of emotions which would then only have to resurface at a later date. Others in our society are more logically minded people who take a methodical approach on life and their thoughts are linear. They are less impulsive and therefore to them they see the logic in the situation such as 'getting angry won't help me to find the charger'. The emotionally driven of us takes the emotion and that's how we decide what to do in a situation. It's about how we make decisions in life, based off what we feel or what is logical and we're all on this spectrum somewhere of how much weight we give to one over the other. I've done a lot of self-development over the years and I think I've come to realise that you can change yourself and make life better by altering the way you react to things and your conditioning but you cannot change the core of your essence. I find the Myers-Briggs test to be a great indicator of your true essence and by removing things that take you further away from this and working on the weaknesses of your character you'll likely get to the best place for you as an individual 🥰
Scarlet Baxter honestly I don’t find the ENTJ type to be really accurate for me but I took the test 3 times now and I get the same results each times. Sometimes I feel so much different than most people I know that I fear I can’t relate to any type in particular
I started recently to act more calm, and to change my perspectives, doing that made me realize how silly i've used to look when stressing out about small things, also, i'm experiencing much less anxiety and several anger last times, because i am choosing peace, day by day. By the way, sublime video, Lana.
I’m usually pretty calm and collected, but one thing that starts getting on my nerves is being in a situation where I have to talk to people I don’t want to.
I meditate 30mins every morning, and I find that gives me a little buffer. Placing your hand over your heart creates cohesion which is powerful. The peace it generates helps me focus.
haha I love the title on the thumbnail "The art to care less". I just spent 10 minutes reading the comments , can we all agree that there are a lot of gems here?
Yes!! Thinking about your response before you respond will change your life! Is it really worth getting upset over? Will reacting cause me to feel upset? So key to living a peaceful life. Love your videos by the way. They give me a TON of inspiration for my channel!
From all the "life hacks" that I have learned which helped me keep my cool and calmness, the most powerful is forgiving myself more: forgiving myself more often for my lapses, for my urges, for my unbalanced emotions, for my humanity. Forgiving oneself, I realized, takes so much courage. But once you forgive yourself more, you will begin to feel peace naturally; it becomes easier for you to let go of negative emotions; you likewise become more forgiving of other people's humanity. You become a better, more peaceful person which is best for yourself and for the people around you. So, forgive yourself more often, folks.
Yes! My parents always think I'm either not listening or i dont care just because I don't say much or react. My sister is the exact opposite; she is the definition of drama queen, she is loud, gushing with empathy and warmth and talks your ear off. It makes me look like a robot when actually I feel and understand so deeply.
People always ask me "why you are so happy and calm with everything?", But the truth is that I am stressed, I just learned how to keep control it and learn from it, I guess that hear calm music, keep positive thoughts and instead fighting against the feeling, just letting it flow into your body is what makes me so controlled and happy, seeing joy in every single thing, even when drinking water can help to be someone more happy and controlled
I thought I was the only one who felt so sorry for the food being separated from their peers and their families at the grocery :(( Orrr when you got an item and you have to put it back, I legit am very sorry when I do! This video was brought up by TH-cam to me today. Very timely. Thank you, Lana! This is the perfect intervention I needed.
I get the same thing, I talk to people for a living. I'm always getting the comment of ""your really chill". Like even when i'm trying to be energetic and feel like i'm talking really fast, i'll hear myself on a recording and think.. Dang i'm just a more expressive calm. I wonder if it's the crippling depression, who knows.
Christmas Giveaway 🎄❣️Thank you for always watching and commenting on my videos, you’ve been selected. 👆Winners should contact me on telegram to claim their prize!!! 🎉🎉 🎈
This spoke to me so deeply as I literally had a breakdown over not finding my laptop charger this week. 🤦♀️😅 thank you for always communicating so beautifully. 💖
That quote is beautiful. I also love "take a moment to remember that you’re spinning on a planet in the middle of empty space." The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
A time that triggered me so much and still continues to trigger is when I am introduced to unnecessary mess inside the house, mess that's not even caused by me. Thus, why I'm here watching your video, thank you so much Lana for the great tips!
I needed this video right now. I'm usually a calm person, but there are things that get me irritated. I'm trying to catch myself when I do get angry or upset in a situation.
I am usually told I'm calm and I go with the flow with family and friends. A situation were I would loose my temper if someone is yelling and aggressively demanding me to do something. When I do lash out most of the time they do recognize they when too far. I think when you get overly aggressive too often, it looses its impact and it's not strong anymore. Being out of character once in awhile can help.
Growing up I was always that rambunctious energetic kid who would blurt stuff out to gain attention. As I've grown older and matured, I am now the exact opposite haha. The calmness I can have in certain situations almost surprises myself when I think about it, but one of the most rewarding benefits to this in my life has been seeing people not for what emotion they project or an action they do, but for who they truly are. To look beyond their actions and words and appreciate them in an intentional way. Being someone who doesn't say much in a room full of friends, my silence speaks louder sometimes, so when it does come time for me to speak, people listen intently because they are aware that I will not just blurt stuff out to be "apart of a conversation", often times, silence speaks louder than words. With that being said, that's not to paint myself as this perfectly calm dude who never gets bothered by others or myself, its more so in agreement with what Lana Blakely said beautifully, I choose my battles well. Being calm consistently can become part of your lifestyle but its for sure a habit that is developed consistently over time. Learning form mistakes, realizing what you prefer about your own reactions/presence and then tweaking it to what suits you personally. I loved the video! I just discovered your channel but I gotta say, this is one of the first times I've been able to relate to a TH-camr so well. Thank you.
I really need this. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are racing too fast for me to keep up and one thing leads to another but whenever I try to express this, my friends and family just stare at me like I’m some kind of weirdo. It is really upsetting. People usually perceive me as someone who’s confident and unashamed but that’s completely wrong. I just let people think that about me. Damn, over sharing to strangers check
Achieving and sustaining calmness is a choice that requires a lot of time and effort to build up. Watching your video is just like reading a book. So true. Thank you
Suppressing feeling, its very hardest situations specially for anxious person. And age by age as it grows, we feel lack of patience, being judgmental & having OCD. Day by day now I'm getting panic attracts. I wish i could get rid of all these things easily 😭. Emotional and mental pain hurts more than physical pain.
I learnt to chill after I left my previous job. I guess I realised that the world isn't going to fall apart even if I don't do my job, so it takes the stress out of me. It's probably ourselves that we're angry about when we get agitated. It helps to look at things with objectivity and see the root cause of our emotions. Often, it comes from self loathing due to guilt, or fear, or jealousy..... One of those negative vibrations. Recently come across your channel and what you've shared resonates :)
Lana - Thank you for being a source of hope for all of us (Introverts). Thanks for letting us know we are beautiful in our own way. Massive thanks to you. God bless :)
A couple months ago I got a compliment from my boss because I always keep my cool in hasty and stressful situations... but little does he know I’m constantly internally screaming trying to hold myself together
I am calm to the point where like you said, people often think i am indifferent. I think the only situation that would mess with my head and make me panic outwardly is when i have late work for class and i dont meet the course deadline. Love your videos by the way, you tend to voice a lot of what i think. Great Job
alot of people have told me i look "chill" or "indifferent" when they first meet me when in reality im just too shy to approach anyone. im working to internally be more "chill" about things though.
I love this so much. I could relate to everything you said in this video. I always felt judged when my friends have yelled at me before for being way too calm and seemingly apathetic. Never made sense to me. Your ability for insight and self-introspection always amazes me with every video :)
I don’t believe you’re literally always so calm as no one always is. I just believe that it’s just mostly you most of the time. I’m usually calm most of the time, but not always I sometimes do get angry and stressed out
No matter how calm/not calm you are... what's something that just TRIGGERS you? I'll go first lol - when people don't take the time to properly read/watch/comprehend something (anything) and start asking questions that could've been answered had they just paid attention. Now you go.
It's easier said than done though 😞
ME TOO OMG it aggravates me when people ask questions that are common sense or just things that are kinda "duh" haha
I legitimately scream into a pillow from time to time.
It really rather suggests i have some anger issues but better out than in.
You Lana are a Massive help to me. Thank you.
same lana same
The main thing that restrict me to get rid of anxiety is some triggers, like certain situations,places & feelings.
Now automatic chemical reactions happens in my brain through these triggers, it leads me to pattern of thinking & i grow anxious 😭😭😭😿
The vibes in this video is what I feel while reading books
I thought the very same thing! 📚
Definitely! I feel it too.
Lmaooo or after a meditation outsideee
The Guernsey literary and the potato peel pie society... Why do I remember this on seeing you🙂
I thought so too. This is amazing. She is amazing.
I think this quote about calmness is quite good: "Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face" - Manoj Arora
love this perspective
Quack!🦆
👍
damn, this is so fucking true
so true
@@peterhasudungan2616 *this is so ducking true 😂
People always ask me how I'm so calm. I don't think I'm calm so much as I think everyone else is constantly overreacting, lol
Haha, right?!
Agreed!
Love this
Yesssss
Yes. Stimulant/noise/drama addicts
Whenever Im stressed, I watch documentary about the universe. It never fails to make me realize how insignificant all these “earthy problems” I have 😌
Could you like suggest a few. And where can I watch it?
Lara Ackermann I love what you wrote here😍☺ i will try that too❤😌
Bist du aus Deutschland? Fällt mir grad so auf hahah
Naomi Ri yesss and I am certain that u will feel better afterwards 😊
Naomi Ri hahhaha nein, aber ich habe in Berlin gewohnen 😂 und ich kann auch Deutsch sprechen 😊😊
When people assume that I’m boring because I don’t care about drinking and partying in college. little do they know that there’s more to life than recreational alcoholism.
Same for me.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Exactly a lot of people think that you’re missing out on something but no I don’t think so I just like to stay at home 🤷🏻♀️
In France we say "fumes avant que la vie te fume", which means that we have to embrace our moment by partying etc... but i'd rather prefer to improve my behavior🤷♂️
Thank you!
I try to be calm. I'm calm. But people keep crossing the line and testing my limits.
this
Frustrating asf
So i roast em :)
my life story
Same here😏
As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder with the constant feeling that everyone hates me, I appreciate this video so much.
Same
I hate everyone.
Same
Sameeee
exactly, same here
Simplicity, humility, calmness and gentleness are very attracive
True, I always prefer to be calm
Kindness
D
LIFE is 10% what happens to you and around you, and 90% how you react to it.
Yesssss
u got 666 likes my homie
for me only 1% and 99% coz i dont give a shit about this life lol
I love this, thanks
Most definitelyyyy
*I think I’m just constantly torn between “every single little thing matters and will
trigger my anxiety” and “literally nothing matters-we’re just a tiny piece of insignificant dust and none of this will ever be important in the grand scheme of things anyway”*
THIS IS THE INSIDE OF MY HEAD, CONSTANTLY! finally someone gets it!
OMG ME TOO SIS
Chris Wyma but I feel like then I’ll use that to justify nothing mattering ever 😂
Me too!!!!
i guess im not the only one
This is me every time
She is so elegant and feminine, and also her work ethic itself.
Right
u too, anyone have own style
elegant for sure!!!
great channel icon btw Angela
I wanna be elegant and feminine too 😭 she rocks it
U did not mentioned that Your environment plays the important role. I live with my family and every time i try to stay calm I ended up affected by my parents. Screaming, throwing things, it's stressing me out. The only way to stay calm is to move, to change your environment
When you can't do that I'd recommend staying somewhere where you can be at peace such as your room and a playlist of calm songs that's what I do
This is sooo true
totally agree, same as happening to me 🤦🏻♀️
true calmness is about not letting anything around you affect your state of being, if you just remove it you’re not letting it become an opportunity to develop your resilience. in other words if you’re letting yourself get affected by the exterior than you depend on your surroundings to feel calm instead of finding calmness from within.
I agree, I'll always try to relaxed before my anger takes everything but It's so difficult so I agree that a new environment will help a lot to change.
"Screaming and throwing things around doesn't magically summon missing objects." That's so obvious, but why can't we realize it?
its most likely how anger kind of puts your mind on autopilot. you get blinded by anger and cant think about things that easily than being calm and not so worked up
Nothing wrong with being exicatble either though. It's kinda fascist to put the one mindset about the other.
My dad does that...
Some people are just addicted to how they feel when they rage. Recognizing that is the first step to getting over it.
Sometimes it's about releasing emotions, which isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes being "calm" in a situation isn't "real calm", it's bottled up anger. It's funny, but sometimes throwing a towel or whatever can calm me down. Breaking items or yelling loud and scaring people isn't okay, but the pent up energy from anger can be used up from singing or screaming into a pillow, and the destructive/throw things energy can be recycled into certain types of art and sports. It's just important to recognize when you're "releasing" emotions as opposed to egging yourself on and making yourself feel worse.
I feel like this channel is like a little fort where only introverts hang out in
A Fortress of Solitude, perhaps?
aw yes!!
Lol i’m an extrovert learning how to be an introvert with this channel. I think introverts have the key (or are closer to the key) to living meaningful and peaceful individual lives.
Hy yes
@@KirakiraProduction yep. spot on!
Her beauty, the cinematic skills, the way she talks, and THE BACKGROUND MUSIC. Is perfect this feels like a tv series.
Yassss
I totally agree with you. I have really liked your comment. Thanks for sharing
For me, human relations are so complicated. I try to stay away from people as much as I can. I find peace and calmness in being alone.
Same ✌️
its the comfort that kills you though, try to do things you dont wanna do
Yes
Same here
i try to find peace by being alone but it make me feel very lonely and i hate it
When I was on high school I used to not worry about exams or homework. I had classmates that lost their hair because of the stress of those times, classmates that would cry because of the frustration. I feel sad they had to go through all that and I remember a lot of people would say I was always chilled, and I like being like that! I do what she says, I pick the battles that are really worthy in my life, big decisions, mental health, never about exams which marks don't define me! I hope whoever is reading this can also start being like this, it's a little of inner peace and it's nice, but I still trigger sometimes mostly when it comes to racism, animal abuse or machismo, I'm not cool in those moments haha
You sound like a person I want to be around
@@aphradite321 have a nice day!
heyy not to sound rude and i really appreciate your way of thinking about life and exams but coming from a place where everyone really cares about your grades and academic things,, sometimes people cry not because of the frustration but because the results don't come out as expected and they've worked really hard on. I hope it isn't offensive to say this but 'cry like babies' just a bit disrespectful. Not saying anything like marks should determine who you are and stuff, but sometimes it is really painful to see that your hard work doesn't pay off and i hope you understand :) have a nice day!
@@NaraTam1121 yes you're right! I'm sorry. I had to drop out of college due to never being able to organize my studies. It was messing up my mental health and maybe I didn't care much in high school bc I didn't like anything my school was teaching me, but if your goal is to do things a certain way/getting certain results, it's hard to "just not care". Thank u. And I hope you have a great day too ❣️
@@denisedeharenne1270 awhh thank you and the whole reply was just hoping that you won't use the term 'cry like babies' since it sounds really bad while letting out your emotions is pretty normal,, just a small friendly reminder!
"You have power over your mind -- not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength" -Marcus Aurelius
One of my favorite Stoics
Wisdom, justice, courage, and moderation. That's all we need!
Ouuuu
If your reading this... you are the most beautiful person! :)
Yes, mee😂✨
Being beautiful affects your life. Having that told to you all the time, stuff getting done for you. Everything is all good. Calm.
🙋
Nah
I would but I don't want to sound like some creep xD
I work in a call center and I'm watching this video so I could apply this to my daily work. There are days that it so hard to deal with, because people take the anger they have on a very personal level. I'm a very understanding and caring human being but sometimes the insults and humiliations I get is too much. Hopefully I can get something from this because the stress and the negativity gets in to me and I want to avoid that and I hope other people who is watching this can get a lot from this too. Sometimes we forget to consider other people's emotions just because we are too frustrated.
"Screaming and throwing things around doesn't magically summon missing objects."
I had a fight with my mother. She can be SO toxic and mean spirited. So, she provoked me and I felt for it. I screamed and said so many mean things. I was trying to stay calm but what she said was so unnecessary and mean that I failed to keep my cool. My goal in life is to always control myself in all situations.
Parents (mums especially) can be hard to deal with
❤️
Just stay away from her. Dont be around her. Talk about important things only. Also cancel anything that involved her. Just shut up when she angry or say nasty things at u.
Smiley Face you Just won’t believe what just happened. At this very second I have tears in my eyes. We just fought again and I’m living with her because I’m pregnant and I’m still at university. I need her help. She was mean to me again, I begged her to respect me, I will give birth at any moment now and did not want to fight, she said, you know what? Just pick your things and get out of my house.
I came to my room now and begged Jesus to comfort me, to help me and seconds later I saw this comment of yours.
Maybe it is a sign. and if it is, it is telling me to stay as far as possible from her, even if I’m still living under the same root.
@@claudiap.6838 Jesus is the way to go. 👍But don't forget to repent of all your sins! Could be you have unrepentant sins and unforgiveness.
Lana **gets in a fight**
_"kindly shut up"_
😂
In wish i could like this comment but it has 666 likes 😕
The right words. Hah.
Lol
Listening to you for 10 minutes is the best meditation session I've ever had
I honestly can't tell how many times you post about something I was worried in that exact moment it's crazy
Same here!
I know right!!
She's our fairy godmother ✨
Yes!!
Same here
I act calm but i have a mind with high anxiety.
Y e s.
It’s always funny when ppl think you’re always so calm but you know that in the inside you’re panicked af, your brain is on fire and analyzing everything
same (sad but same) ✌🏼😪
Your not alone. And you are alone like every one of us huhu
❤️
Omg same!!
Words of caution to all calm people out there. I was and still am “the calmest” among my groups of friends since I was in high school. When I was 27, I went to therapy and the therapist legit said my anxiety is higher than average. I was confused af. But then realised that being calm for me is a coping mechanism and me suppressing my emotions. I was so unhealthy emotionally. The same happened to my “calm” friend. So guys, I’d recommend going to therapy at least once just to see if you really are calm in a healthy way or not.
So true..i always tell people what's bothering me..a lot of people have said that i'm too straightforward..but i always felt like if i will hide or supress my emotions it will get worse
Being calm shouldn’t mean suppressing our emotions or ignoring them, we can be calm and still accept our emotions and manage them properly!
Ketki Mehta this is the one. Repressing emotions isn’t healthy.
@@ketkimehta4368 yeah I used to intentionally detach from situations when it was too much, now I’m learning to speak through things with someone I trust to confide in
Thank you for the comment because I just couldn't relate. I'm impatient and short tempered If I care about something that's not going my way. The only way to stay calm is if I consciously decide to disconnect from it.
I'm a Scorpio too
This is so healthy to practice, instead of creating a bad habit. This habit can influence your surroundings especially your children.
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i resonate with Lana so much as a fellow introvert. in our society its like we have to make friends, interact with people, show energy. but most of the time i just want to go to my room because people are so exhausting
I totally relate it’s so nice to know there are others that feel the same way:)
Exhausting. Yes. When I was young, human contact seemed to be worth the price I paid in stress and fatigue, but as I've gotten older, that's less true.
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
" -- Marcus Aurelius
Stoic?
And how do I control my ADHD? Is Stoicism the cure?
Same:)
Thank you for sharing
why do people find being calm as weird? sometimes, they would literally laugh. what’s wrong with being calm?
Because most people are tards and dont appreciate how powerful thing calmness and quietness is. I'm by far the most calm person in my family
Because some people grow up in a toxic environment so seeing calm people is not normal to them
good question, if anything it should be the new norm!
They're just jealous on how you get to handle the most frustrating situations.
Blame on kardashian Family
Thanks
I remember back then when my classmate told me that he wanted to be me because I was “stress-free” and “calm”, but little did he know there was a chaos in my mind lmao
the quiet have the loudest minds...
So basically.... whenever ever we're having emotional reaction about something....stop for a moment and think about that reaction logically by either having verbal conversation with your self or simply thinking it....then it helps you to whether reacting on particular situation is rightful thing or not at all :)
Actually we need to feel the emotions in our body as physical sensations and recognize what emotions we're experiencing. We need the emotions to pass on its own. Then comes the step of logical thinking. If we don't process our emotions we will never know what our triggers are and how to make peace with them.
I aspire to be as unbothered as lana
If by unbothered you mean not caring about worldly desires (like being liked, noticed, praised, materialism) then yes. But I would say things definitely bother her/concern her. For instance it bothers (not angers but bothers) her that some people can't accept her calm personality. Otherwise she wouldn't have made this video. It's important to care about things, but we need to prioritize what we truly care about which is what she intentionally strives to do and likes to talk about on this channel (which, by the way, she does well 💕)
Camille Baca wow you phrased that so well! But yes, that was sort of the meaning to my comment :) thank you for elaborating
Camille Baca h
There has been a significant shift in my life since adapting this type of mindset; none of this will exist 200-300 years from now, so do what makes you happy and don't take things too seriously. Great content! I am going to attempt a voice-over type video here soon and you incorporate it effortlessly!
I think I've fallen in love.
or maybe you're overreacting..
Nah me too
Me too
i don't think i've fallen in love, i've definitely fallen in love. (why did this have to happen again, s**t)
Simps
people have told me that they'd appreciate seeing me angry because it seems so opposite of me because when something upsetting happens i try to react in an understanding way most of the time. thank you for making this video
We're just spiritual beings having a human experience
Yep! This is not our actual home we are actually aliens to earth we are temporary residents here
@Truth is here maybe you arent
“I am not my body, I am not my thoughts”
I often feel like I'm the only calm person on the planet. Most everyone I know is always so stressed or angry. Always one second away from losing it.
This video provided some much needed enlightenment. I never knew how to vocalize my perspective, but this really taught me a thing or two, and certainly helped me feel a lot less alone in my way of life. Thank you for that.
"The universe is vast, and we are so small. In the end, there is only one thing we can truly control.
Whether we are good, or evil." (Oma Desala)
My opinion, we might have good or evil thoughts; but will we go for doing these evil thoughts or not?
I can relate to this Lana.
Hey it's you
My sister watches you
yea, most other lanas confuse me a little bit too
Listening to you is managing my stress somehow
Dude same.
Same
Btw pro pic🥺 Jungkookie❤️ Am I right?! Cutieee
@@anasofia1076 yesss
me too army 🥺💜
I’m glad I’m not alone on this. I’ve always been told why I’m so calm all the time that sometimes I feel so out of place and weird but I realized it’s because I choose peace, to have compassion for myself and others than allowing anger and frustration control me. It also starts within, when you learn to accept that things aren’t always going to be in your control and treat yourself with compassion and others.
Be like water not coke bcos when water get shaked it stays the same, however coke will explode
Randem Kt owo nice quote
Good analogy
We found new Socrates
And even though coke tastes better, water makes you feel better in the long-term
Ouuuuu that hit home niceeee
Thank you sooo much for making this video, Lana! They say I'm a calm person, they don't know how my life & problems really are. I've been struggling for years (kinda hard years for me), yet I don't seem like I'm struggling. They think I'm okay because I'm being calm and don't wanna waste my energy. They don't think that I can handle 'hard days' because I look like people who don't have problems (usually). It's actually because I don't express a lot. Finally, I know someone who does that too!
*screaming and throwing things around doesn’t magically summon missing objects*
Well yes but it makes me feel a little bit better 😅
But not nearly as better as knowing you have carried yourself with poise and respect
Kaz Kaffenberger nah this doesn’t work at all with me, I guess it has to do with my personality.
I think you're right Charlie.
I think some people look at life through a lens of emotions and intuition, their thoughts are scattered. Holding these emotions inside can be damaging if you just pretend they aren't there when they in fact are and can be incredibly strong. To these people it would be inauthentic and would likely cause a bottling of emotions which would then only have to resurface at a later date.
Others in our society are more logically minded people who take a methodical approach on life and their thoughts are linear. They are less impulsive and therefore to them they see the logic in the situation such as 'getting angry won't help me to find the charger'. The emotionally driven of us takes the emotion and that's how we decide what to do in a situation. It's about how we make decisions in life, based off what we feel or what is logical and we're all on this spectrum somewhere of how much weight we give to one over the other.
I've done a lot of self-development over the years and I think I've come to realise that you can change yourself and make life better by altering the way you react to things and your conditioning but you cannot change the core of your essence. I find the Myers-Briggs test to be a great indicator of your true essence and by removing things that take you further away from this and working on the weaknesses of your character you'll likely get to the best place for you as an individual 🥰
EllyJellyBean99 that’s true, what mbti personality are you ? I’m ENTJ apparently
Scarlet Baxter honestly I don’t find the ENTJ type to be really accurate for me but I took the test 3 times now and I get the same results each times. Sometimes I feel so much different than most people I know that I fear I can’t relate to any type in particular
I started recently to act more calm, and to change my perspectives, doing that made me realize how silly i've used to look when stressing out about small things, also, i'm experiencing much less anxiety and several anger last times, because i am choosing peace, day by day. By the way, sublime video, Lana.
Okay but the real MVP's are those sound effects perfectly placed
Ok this is the best compliment
@@LanaBlakely ahahaha thank you!
I’m usually pretty calm and collected, but one thing that starts getting on my nerves is being in a situation where I have to talk to people I don’t want to.
*We Introverts always stands apart but are still together!💜 That makes us Special than others!💜*
I meditate 30mins every morning, and I find that gives me a little buffer. Placing your hand over your heart creates cohesion which is powerful. The peace it generates helps me focus.
haha I love the title on the thumbnail "The art to care less". I just spent 10 minutes reading the comments , can we all agree that there are a lot of gems here?
Yes!! Thinking about your response before you respond will change your life! Is it really worth getting upset over? Will reacting cause me to feel upset? So key to living a peaceful life. Love your videos by the way. They give me a TON of inspiration for my channel!
Yes this definitely changed my life and relationships!
I do tend to get upset over small things, i don't know how to cope up with that.
Niara R looking into a mindfulness practice might help!
@@niara6 same here
I'm calm. I'm beautiful. I'm grateful.✨✨✨✨
As a person who is constantly battling anxiety... I FREAKIN LOVE THIS!
From all the "life hacks" that I have learned which helped me keep my cool and calmness, the most powerful is forgiving myself more: forgiving myself more often for my lapses, for my urges, for my unbalanced emotions, for my humanity. Forgiving oneself, I realized, takes so much courage. But once you forgive yourself more, you will begin to feel peace naturally; it becomes easier for you to let go of negative emotions; you likewise become more forgiving of other people's humanity. You become a better, more peaceful person which is best for yourself and for the people around you. So, forgive yourself more often, folks.
I'm naturally like this too and people seem to perceive me as emotionless. which i'm far from. I'm just not reactive.
Word
Yes! My parents always think I'm either not listening or i dont care just because I don't say much or react. My sister is the exact opposite; she is the definition of drama queen, she is loud, gushing with empathy and warmth and talks your ear off. It makes me look like a robot when actually I feel and understand so deeply.
People always ask me "why you are so happy and calm with everything?", But the truth is that I am stressed, I just learned how to keep control it and learn from it, I guess that hear calm music, keep positive thoughts and instead fighting against the feeling, just letting it flow into your body is what makes me so controlled and happy, seeing joy in every single thing, even when drinking water can help to be someone more happy and controlled
Your voice is like medicine to me right now. My throat is really sore. Thank you for making this video Lana, I appreciate you so much.
TH-cam really know I need this right now. Only youtube knows me.
I thought I was the only one who felt so sorry for the food being separated from their peers and their families at the grocery :(( Orrr when you got an item and you have to put it back, I legit am very sorry when I do! This video was brought up by TH-cam to me today. Very timely. Thank you, Lana! This is the perfect intervention I needed.
That's true, sometimes it can be taken as indifference, like I don't care about anything. And is not like that, in my case is more about stoicism.
Exactly!
You're right ! i am currently reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and it's life-changing
I get the same thing, I talk to people for a living. I'm always getting the comment of ""your really chill". Like even when i'm trying to be energetic and feel like i'm talking really fast, i'll hear myself on a recording and think.. Dang i'm just a more expressive calm. I wonder if it's the crippling depression, who knows.
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This spoke to me so deeply as I literally had a breakdown over not finding my laptop charger this week. 🤦♀️😅 thank you for always communicating so beautifully. 💖
That quote is beautiful. I also love "take a moment to remember that you’re spinning on a planet in the middle of empty space." The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
"There's no need to get too worked up when things don't go your way.... " Lana Blakely.
True.
A time that triggered me so much and still continues to trigger is when I am introduced to unnecessary mess inside the house, mess that's not even caused by me. Thus, why I'm here watching your video, thank you so much Lana for the great tips!
If you read “The Cosmos” as an audiobook, I’d listen to you all day long. That was so calming.
I needed this video right now. I'm usually a calm person, but there are things that get me irritated. I'm trying to catch myself when I do get angry or upset in a situation.
You're self aware! :-)
@@LanaBlakely Thank you for replying! : )
I am usually told I'm calm and I go with the flow with family and friends. A situation were I would loose my temper if someone is yelling and aggressively demanding me to do something. When I do lash out most of the time they do recognize they when too far. I think when you get overly aggressive too often, it looses its impact and it's not strong anymore. Being out of character once in awhile can help.
Growing up I was always that rambunctious energetic kid who would blurt stuff out to gain attention. As I've grown older and matured, I am now the exact opposite haha. The calmness I can have in certain situations almost surprises myself when I think about it, but one of the most rewarding benefits to this in my life has been seeing people not for what emotion they project or an action they do, but for who they truly are. To look beyond their actions and words and appreciate them in an intentional way. Being someone who doesn't say much in a room full of friends, my silence speaks louder sometimes, so when it does come time for me to speak, people listen intently because they are aware that I will not just blurt stuff out to be "apart of a conversation", often times, silence speaks louder than words. With that being said, that's not to paint myself as this perfectly calm dude who never gets bothered by others or myself, its more so in agreement with what Lana Blakely said beautifully, I choose my battles well. Being calm consistently can become part of your lifestyle but its for sure a habit that is developed consistently over time. Learning form mistakes, realizing what you prefer about your own reactions/presence and then tweaking it to what suits you personally. I loved the video! I just discovered your channel but I gotta say, this is one of the first times I've been able to relate to a TH-camr so well. Thank you.
I really need this. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are racing too fast for me to keep up and one thing leads to another but whenever I try to express this, my friends and family just stare at me like I’m some kind of weirdo. It is really upsetting. People usually perceive me as someone who’s confident and unashamed but that’s completely wrong. I just let people think that about me. Damn, over sharing to strangers check
Achieving and sustaining calmness is a choice that requires a lot of time and effort to build up. Watching your video is just like reading a book. So true. Thank you
Suppressing feeling, its very hardest situations specially for anxious person. And age by age as it grows, we feel lack of patience, being judgmental & having OCD. Day by day now I'm getting panic attracts. I wish i could get rid of all these things easily 😭. Emotional and mental pain hurts more than physical pain.
this video is so peaceful, honestly i think i already found my inner peace. i need to improve, but i love this energy.
I learnt to chill after I left my previous job. I guess I realised that the world isn't going to fall apart even if I don't do my job, so it takes the stress out of me. It's probably ourselves that we're angry about when we get agitated. It helps to look at things with objectivity and see the root cause of our emotions. Often, it comes from self loathing due to guilt, or fear, or jealousy..... One of those negative vibrations. Recently come across your channel and what you've shared resonates :)
Lana - Thank you for being a source of hope for all of us (Introverts). Thanks for letting us know we are beautiful in our own way. Massive thanks to you. God bless :)
“The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.” -Aristotle
Wow you have such a calming and gentle voice. Plus I loved how you introduced the sponsor within the dialog you were making. Thumbs up for that.
Your voice itself is so calming OMG
you are literally the most relatable youtuber like on a deep level
I’m literally a stress ball. I cannot relate. 😅
Screaming into a pillow helps me.
A Noob & Her Dog Blue sameeeeee. Always and everywhere
Not “literally”
Your doggo is adorable..when your stressed jus giv him pats
I would so love to find someone as calm and mellow as you to spend the rest of my life with
Honestly, you're so calm, your videos are my ASMR.
A couple months ago I got a compliment from my boss because I always keep my cool in hasty and stressful situations... but little does he know I’m constantly internally screaming trying to hold myself together
hi lana!! congratulations for surpassing over 300k subscribers:D
Thank you so much!! :-)
It took me almost 20 years of work to attain your awareness to keep calm and get out stress as Quick as necessary.
Your philosophy is woderful ..
The entire experience of watching this video and your vibe is so helpful.
literally every week when I see you posted a new video and read the title I think
is she reading my thoughts?
Thank you Lana for making these kind of videos🙏🏻 They inspire me to become a better human.
I am calm to the point where like you said, people often think i am indifferent. I think the only situation that would mess with my head and make me panic outwardly is when i have late work for class and i dont meet the course deadline. Love your videos by the way, you tend to voice a lot of what i think. Great Job
Me too I always was a calm person and I don’t really get upset about things people usually get upset about 😅
stay the way you are Lana we are rare x)
You are the only youtuber that actually makes me calmer and lows my anxiety after watching a video ❤️ thank you for that!
This makes me happy
@@LanaBlakely And that makes you emotional, gotcha!
You’re going to live a long life. Good for the heart to be calm
yes reading can really help in expanding the mind so much . learning from others life experiences can shape our thoughts
alot of people have told me i look "chill" or "indifferent" when they first meet me when in reality im just too shy to approach anyone. im working to internally be more "chill" about things though.
I love this so much. I could relate to everything you said in this video. I always felt judged when my friends have yelled at me before for being way too calm and seemingly apathetic. Never made sense to me. Your ability for insight and self-introspection always amazes me with every video :)
You're not alone in that haha! Thanks a lot :-)
everything in this video feels so calm .. i mean her setup, her voice, her teachings, her background HAHAHA ❤️
I don’t believe you’re literally always so calm as no one always is. I just believe that it’s just mostly you most of the time. I’m usually calm most of the time, but not always I sometimes do get angry and stressed out