Stop Feeling Bad About Yourself
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ค. 2024
- //STOP FEELING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF AND BOOST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM//
There are so many things we've learned to feel bad about that are completely unnecessary, and feeling bad about them both serves no purpose and can also be harmful to us and hold us back in our lives.
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#boostselfesteem #confidence #feelinggood
I spent a life beaten down. I was strong inside so I finally untangled everything at 60. Now I’m trying to influence quietly, the others who have suffered in the family. Offer a hand up thanks to folks like you. Thank you.
When you're dealing with sociopaths & narcissist they try to make you feel bad about yourself.
Learning that no one can make me feel a certain way has been an incredibly difficult experience and I understand the hesitation I hear in this comment. It is the "job" of narcissists I've known to make me feel bad, but I'm realizing that they can only do so if I already feel badly about myself. It's their "job" to find those triggers and push those buttons, but they can only succeed if I let them; if I already think badly about myself or certain aspects of myself. Hence the importance of what J.K. is saying here. It's not easy but it's life-changing work, imho.
Unfortunately I have dealt with like 100 them😔
At 63 I fight feeling bad about the relationship decicions that have cost me all of my youth & most of my life.
Took a day off work with panic attacks today, so this is just what I need
You're not alone. I'm in the same boat.
I'm so sorry you are having panic attacks. I had them a long time ago. It was my mother who suggested I start listening to my favourite music on the device of that time (this is over 25 years ago now ;) It really helped. I also lie down, put my earbuds in and listen to meditations on TH-cam. It may help you to do this, as you take deep breaths into your belly. Allow the chest and shoulders to relax, only focus on your belly breath. Just a suggestion, and most of all be kind to yourself...don't PUSH anything away, it will only increase your intensity.
What did you find most helpful Lifya?
Change your diet! I went Paleo and have not had a panic attack in a year...not to mention no headaches, anxiety, pain and can deal with life so much better.
I’ve done that before!!
One thing I personally have a hard time with is that I want to be this exciting, extroverted, silly, joyful, person, ray of sunshine, because they are more valuable humans than other personality types in my opinion but I’m the exact opposite and I can’t change who I am no matter how hard I try, i can’t let myself give in to ignorance and uncertainty, I dream of being someone else but when I have the opportunity to act like that I don’t want to take it in the real world, almost like everything sounds wonderful in my head, having friends laughing helping people but In reality I’m all alone and strangely I’m ok with it, but I don’t want to be I think, shame for who I’m not and acceptance of who I am are fighting for dominion, Anyway, thanks again for the video Julia you’re the best!
I'm pretty sure I've heard that introversion and the like are pretty much things you're born with and you can't really change that. And imho the people who really end up doing big things in society are usually the ones who are doing something new, on their own, diverted from the masses, perhaps with a few like minded people. Don't try to fit in with everyone. And as they say, you can't be someone you're not. A lot of her videos are just about being yourself. That's what's best for all of us.
Introvert does not have to become an extrovert, but can instead become a social introvert. One cannot lead introverted life for decades and then suddenly become extrovert. But one can drastically improve (if one sees one's introversion as a problem), one step at a time. You have to reprogram yourself - you have to change your way of thinking, change your behaviour, remove unnecessary inhibitions, and results will come, although not overnight - in years. It can't be done just by thinking about it - you have to practice it. The more you practice it, the closer to extroversion you'll come.
Aaah I felt this so bad why does my mind differ from reality?? it’s so weird
I know this is an old comment, but I feel the same way and I’d love to be internet friends with you ❤️
@@human_no847 I just wish I was the exact opposite of everything I am :(
She’s the wise grandma that I desperately need. Will listen to this every morning ☀️ till I heal
Omg...my last job made me feel so bad about having boundaries. But boundaries are SO important.
Yes ma'am! They are everything.
Same here
My family doesn't beat around the bush, they came straight out and told me that I am nothing and not good enough. I lived my life with my head down. The men that I dated told me that I am too ugly or too dark. But at the same time, they wanted to hold on to me. Several men acted as if I had to be the one with the house and the car. I am finally at a place in which I believe that I am good enough. I am pretty enough, I am smart enough, I am funny enough, I am a good friend. I don't have to have the prettiest house or the best car or the best job. This is me. If you don't like me, please leave me alone.
I've been struggling with the feeling of not being enough for quite a long time until I came to realize that the people who brag about being someone and put others down are never the people who should matter anyway. Right now, I'm having a bit of a hard time accepting my imperfect self, especially because I think I still couldn't master the skill of not caring about what others are achieving. And, thanks as always, Julia! You're truly changing lives for the better!
Jesus loves you 🌺 🌻🌼 🌷🍿🥗🍧🍩😎😍😘🤗🐈🐩
Facts
you're always on time aren't you...
Hey Jackie, same thing happened to me. The timing of this video couldn't be better!
Yeah. Weird thing. Same happened to me too
Hey, same here literally scrolling through TH-cam and this was exactly wjat I needed
lol. Glad it connected Jackie ;-)
You should never feel bad about having boundaries.
Hi am her to find myself again .Good luck everybody on your healing journey 💕
I just want to stop feeling imprisoned because I’m not able to meet my goals. Now I know the best way is to accept who I am right now. With that knowledge I can be free to fail or succeed but to begin living without constant condemnation of my own self.
I’ve been improving my self esteem ever since i was a teen (im now 25). Lately my self esteem has been really bad. Everything triggers me, makes me feel bad about myself. I’m too dumb, too ugly, and not successful. I’m just too tired of all of this and want to be better!!
Your not alone.
me too, hope we get better!
I'm 57, and I am still learning to feel good about myself. For me, it comes in waves, and I at least know, it is down to my thinking. I also believe at times, we are so stuck in things, we fight to stay there. Today, it is Canada Day...here in Canada ;) and I picked up my guitar and started singing and I then listened to some favourite songs. I believe, if you can get back into your body, grounding yourself...it really does help! Music, dance, laughter, is primal...and will pull you up, out of your "stinking' thinking' LOVE AND PEACE TO ALL!
What do you WANT to be thinking about yourself?
@@juliakristinamah Thank you Julia, yes..."WANT!" :D
I hate making mistakes, as it's always been thrown back in my face in the past!
Been working on letting go of some old regrets that i've held onto for way too long. Not easy because i've been holding them for so long, but at least I'm trying. Starting to feel better as well. Please keep up your talks, enjoy listening to them Julia. Josh
Thanks Josh.
I dealt with self hated for whole life, I'm only finally Learning to beginning to accept myself for who I am.
I never wanted to be someone else, just have a hard time loving who I am...........
But right now I can accept and love who I am now :D
That is fantastic! 💚
People (society) have always treated me poorly. Daily or just about I'm treated badly by people; it compounds me feeling badly about myself.
Many people feel bad about who they are in life right now, that's what connected with me, I have that problem. I agree with you that doing more doesn't make me more of a worthy person.
Yes! If anything, do less. I thrive on being busy and have had to learn to leave space-in my schedule, in my brain, in my life-in order to thrive. 💚
Do you think everyone struggles with not feeling good enough at some point or another?
@@juliakristinamah Yes, I do believe that that could common problem for most people. Which means that I'm far from alone. Your videos are very helpful. I appreciate your work.
A really important message that will benefit many. I really appreciate you sharing this
Really glad it connected. What did you find most helpful?
I am finally starting to connect some of the dots in my life. Having been labelled the "black sheep" and " you were born backwards and been backwards ever since" (for being a breech birth) by my mother I tried to compensate for it all by being "nice", "kind", a "good boy". I learned as an adult that if I was in a group situation I tried to make people like me (like bringing cookies or candy which I bought to share with a support group). Ha! It doesn't work. I guess no one likes someone who is trying to be liked. When you're told repeatedly you are defective or there's something wrong with you it can set you on a path of desperate people-pleasing and thus few or no boundaries. Now I am starting to respect my boundaries and man, do I ever get some heated push-back from certain individuals who probably liked me better when I was drowning in compassion, empathy and...resentment. I am also a Taurus who is much too patient with people to my own detriment. Because of this "patience" I still wait too long to state my own boundaries but I'm getting better at it. It's scary, because it feels like I will lose the person altogether (then so be it!) but at some point I have to take better care of myself I need to find a comfortable balance. I AM a nice person, I AM kind, and I need to find find the right balance so no, my goal is not to become some cranky man who says NO to people all the time and is thorny or mean. I just want to find a balance of self-respect and generosity toward others I can be happy with.
I’ve been feeling bad about not being perfect.
I love that you uploaded earlier than usual, I have really low self-esteem and I’ve been working hard to improve it!! 💕 I feel I’m too dependent on validation and constantly having to do great things to hold a good view of myself.
Same
What would you rather your good view of yourself be dependent on?
Julia Kristina Counselling I want it to be dependent on how I feel about myself, essentially to feel that I’m complete and valid in my own right and to not assume that the flaws I do have far outweigh the positive aspects of who I am.
@@admirbarucija2018 What do you think it would take to feel that way about yourself?
Julia Kristina Counselling I may need some help to do it, but changing my self-talk to be more positive would be a great start
I have been feeling bad about setting boundaries with a dear friend. However, I feel better because my anger has dissipated -my anger toward her, trying to please her, filling her needs. I felt she needed me more than I needed her. Now I am still her friend but with boundaries. I am OK with myself and no longer feel badly.
I love your videos. I am a horrible boyfriend and I know it. I love my girlfriend more than I love my own family. Her and her daughter are to be with my daughter and myself for the rest of eternity. I want her to feel as special as she makes me and I truly believe that your videos are helping tremendously. Thank you.
I was always told "Be Yourself". I've been myself my whole life - and trust me, no one else wants to be me. When my Mom was alive, all she wanted for me was to be happy. But I'm very sad to say I've let both her and myself down. I'm a good guy with a good sense of humor, treat people well, am easy to please, and although I'm on the quiet side, I'm friendly enough. But this has not translated into having any success with women. And I'm not talking about sex - that's not my #1 priority, companionship is. No one has ever loved me enough to want to marry me, and even getting dates are few and very scarce. I don't have the courage, skills, determination, agressiveness, or looks (or whatever else it takes) to make it. My fears and insecurities have made it almost impossible to find the love I so badly need. My goal years ago was simple enough: to find a companion to enjoy life with. I've failed miserably in that - and I'm 65 years old!! I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Real men get women. Evidently, I'm not one.
Julia, this one brought tears to my eyes! This is the work we are doing in the membership group. It has made a huge difference on my beliefs about myself! I am forever grateful. 🧡
♥️🙏
"I AM ENOUGH!"
Jesus loves you 🌺 🌻🌼 🌷🥗🥞🍝😘🍤🍥🍣🐕🐩🍿😎🍢🍡
Oh gosh, this is a huge one for me! I've never had any boundaries, and a bit scared not knowing how to set boundaries, without upsetting or hurting someone.
The making mistakes one really resonated with me. Even if they're small, inconsequential mistakes, it's hard to just move on. Thanks so much for your videos!
Glad it connected. And go easier on yourself - k?
Hi, Chris from Wilmington, NC. Thanks for your videos, they are helping me through the hardest time in my life.
Sometimes I feel like ALL I do is mess up or say the wrong thing or make the wrong decision or ROYALLY mess up. I feel like it's ALL I do.
Hello 👋
I'm Sandra and I'm thankful that I found you 💛 I'm trying my best to learn how to love and stop feeling awful.
This is helpful for me thank you very much 😊
Today, remind yourself that to a certain extent you have spent too much of your life thinking too little of yourself... Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less YOU. Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You wanted to fit in. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted. So you could feel healed.
And so for years, you talked down to yourself, and sacrificed your peace of mind for the sake of making other people happy.
And for years, you suffered.
But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done thinking you aren't good enough just the way you are. Right? Good!
It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your truth matters. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave.
Even if your own confidence in yourself has been shaken!
I hope that helps.
baby steps and do the things that light you up
peeeace😉
Ed
Just leave about society but in family people always remind me that im a girl which makes me so depressed even my brother insults me as he is 4 yrs younger than me as i missed alot,like enjoying with frnds and many .whenever i look back there is nothing.And i now i dont have any frnd to share my feeling ,i have shared here because i felt u guys r my frnds
Hi guys. I’m Fayaz, 19. I’ve had an extremely traumatic experience that has left me alone and completely shut out from the rest of the world, something taking a major toll on my mental health, as I used to be incredibly outgoing previously. I’m reaching out to videos like these to feel like I still have some sort of connection to people. I don’t really know what to say, but I hope everyone is doing okay during these troubling times, and I wish everyone here the best of health. Take care, guys. 🖤
Hope your finding new resolve fayaz and if you need help please reach out..Your courageous posting your struggles.If your life is on auto-pilot and you're always feeling worn down and stressed out, this is your wake-up call.
If you never put yourself first, this is your wake-up call.
If you are constantly numbing out with food, shopping, booze, TV, or other distractions, this is your wake-up call.
Getting your wake-up call is not the hard part. Answering the call is. Choosing to answer the call instead of ignoring it is HARD! Right now, it may feel much easier to keep going, and going, and going. But you know if you don’t find a way out of the endless cycle you’re in, it’s going to get worse...
Remind yourself that a big part of your life is a result of the choices you make. And if you don’t like your life it’s time to start making changes and better choices.
Peace
Ed
It's my first time reaching out also. I hope that it will give you some comfort knowing that you aren't alone. Keep doing it . Don't give up. Wishing you best of luck . Take care
Heyy, I’m Adela and one year ago I struggled with an Ed and now I’m recovered from that but in my mind I still have this little voice telling me that I’m not good or enough and it’s really making me mad and I wanna heal myself completely because I’m tied of this.
Hi Julia! I love all your videos on anything to do with more self-acceptance. For me It was the daily inadequacy struggle which has been inproving since starting the Shift Society.
For those who are thinking about joining the Shift Society, I would highly recommend it. I am still working progress, but overall I have accepted myself more as I am and I am beeter being emotionally stable and not taking things too personally. It is such a fun and supportive community. It has been such a huge blessing and a part of my life this year.
Unfortunately, I don't have finances to continue after a week, but maybe that will clear a spot for someone new. You will get something out of it. It does take work. She offers great lessons and tools to practice. See you later today Julia in the Shift Society !😁
Working already just lots of tears coming
Thanks Julia, over the time that I've been listening to you, you have truly helped me to become assertive and exercise boundaries without feeling guilty. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for being a life coach to many..
You are so gifted at helping me! Thank you for all you do. I can’t get enough of your videos.
Can't be more of myself when people keep punishing me for it, regardless of me agreeing what I am is bad or not...
Not much that could help me here... Only thing I strongly relate with is feeling bad for making mistakes. I'm very afraid of this.
Jesus loves you 🌺 🌻🌼 🌷😘🥗😍🍧🍨🍿😎🤗🍢🥞🐕🍥🐩🍣🍤🍣
@@nicksanders9148 Stop lying and start thinking. Also wth is with the emoji spam?
I think I’ve been feeling bad for allowing people to mistreat me and still allowing them in my life. Or not forcing myself to remove them…. No matter a friend, family member or husband. I keep accepting” people for who they are..bs. I realized it is my default setting from childhood in the foster system. I’ve been trying to snap out of it so I can move on and I’ve been trying everything.. talking to different people, medication, gratitude journal, 3:6:9 rule, church- prayers, the gym, ..it’s only working temporarily. It’s like this fight keeps fighting me back hard… I’m still refusing to admit defeat- Barely holding on. Some days I won’t admit but I feel it so bad I makes me emotional because this fight with myself has never been so strong. .. but I know I shouldn’t have been stuck here like this this long… is it some kind of lesson I’m not learning here? I know God gave me a purpose and I know my purpose. It’s frustrating to see what I’m supposed to be doing but it’s like my body won’t move in sync with my mind. And other days my mind is just blank and I have nothing to say, I’m numb but feeling everything rather then bottling it up. Almost seems worse than.
I work in behavioral health treatment center directly with troubled,traumatized, abandoned, and abused youth. These youth have been noticing something is wrong with me lately.. one kid almost made me cry yesterday because I could see the true concern in his eyes which made me feel worse because the kiddos have enough on their plate than to be worried about us staff. He said “what’s really going on Mrs. , it’s Day two you came in with your hair in a hat and your eyes look really tired Mrs. Are you okay - he even offered me advice saying you supposed to be getting any frustration out in the gym”, as we have talked about. My eyes watered as it just more proof that I was in Gods will as far as working in this career. Giving back to the youth that I used to be- & how rewarding they even give back to me.🥲. I have to be a role model because us as staff is all that some of our youth have to believe in.
I’m desperately hoping I break this soon. Please pray for a breakthrough not just for me but for the youth who look up to me to stay anchored in a healthy mental health.
It’s as if you knew I needed this ❤️ have been breaking down a lot lately worrying about everyone hating me. I know it’s not true, but somehow my mind wants me to believe I’m a bad person. These videos help my anxiety more than you know!!❤️❤️ thank you as always Julia :)
So glad it connected Michelle. And know that YOU are in charge of your thoughts. NOT the other way around. Sending you love sis.
I work in a very technical and competitive job. As an INFP personality, I constantly am reminded that everyone else is ESTJ. They don't see the value in other perspectives. They only want total compliance and uniformity. Your video really helped me see how to honor myself and keep healthy boundaries.
Thank you, thank you Julia!! Again and again, you put out a training that addresses what I'm struggling with. I was so suffocating, in such a bad place and you helped me again!!
You're amazing, a blessing!! 💖
I liked your section about how there are “prerequisites for my worthiness” I struggle with being so hard on myself. I admit I felt seen at the boundaries section - my lack of ability to stay in line with my own boundaries (imagine a freight train jumping the track and heading into traffic haha ).
I think it’s because I always err on the side of being the “nice guy” - my therapist calls it my interest in “injured birds” that I need to work on. Thanks Julia
I felt transparent after hearing this...have been feeling bad about myself for a long time
Hi - being worthy really resounded with me. I shared this with my sister and a close friend, who understand these feelings I have. Thank you - it was a message I really needed to hear 💗
Thanks for sharing sis, and I'm really glad you found it helpful.
Thanks for putting yourself out there.
Thanks yes I go through this.
Thank you.
You're so beautiful and so incredible. Thank you for all you've been doing to help people.
Thank you so much for putting out these videos and letting those who might not have the resources to join the formal program to benefit from your knowledge and experience.
These are really helpful on anxious or sad days. Some of the ones, particularly about anxiety, I watch again and again. They are really great and perfect length for driving to work.
Really glad you're here Cristina.
Thank you for that awesome message! It resonates at many levels!
Thank you for sharing.
Be grateful for self reflection. Insight is wonderful. Stress is wasted time n energy you can use to improve.
Thank You For Sharing ❤️
Shared! & Joined the waiting list for the Shift Society ~ THANK YOU!
Thank you for everything.
This video was calling me today. There always seems to be one to fit the day I am having. Appreciate your work.
Thank you
Very clear and articulate messages on how not to feel bad. Thank you. Love it.
Hi I am Jen. I just want to be happy loved and a good parent.
What a powerful video for me. You are so beautiful, caring, and on point! Such good advice!!! Thank you for putting this out there...I'm taking notes!
Thank you for this video. I really need to learn this.
I have a hard time with my self esteem. I can't blame anyone else but myself mostly. I find that everyday there's multiple things that I do wrong, both observed by myself and people around me. Thing is I want to do better. I don't have the motivation to anymore. Nothing I do feels right. It's hard to get up. It's hard to keep going because I find myself ruminating whilst doing tasks to get my mind off about why I'm crap. I get into spirals of negative thoughts. I feel stuck. I feel sad. I feel lonely. Even when I write sometimes, I don't want to see my thoughts on paper. There's so much shame I hide with being myself.
In saying that I hope that no one else has to feel this way. It's so insidious and debilitating.
Have been following this channel for quite a long time, nice effort, greatly appreciated
Yes! ♥️🦋
Glad you're here
Hey Julia. Mike Walsh here. Really dig your vibe. Keep on doing what you do.
Thank you so much. I've seen this a few times now and you continue to remind me to believe...
Your counselling is so helpful. Thank you.
I think I've forgotten how to have big goals & dreams. It almost seems like it's too late......it feels overwhelming & that I won't have the energy required.
Hi. I'm John and currently I am struggling badly. I stumbled upon this video in the midst of one of the worst points in my life right now. I am realizing that I am no longer [or perhaps never was] proficient at everything I try. I grew up believing that I loved dance, music, the arts, and through the process of my upbringing and after undergraduate schooling I've come to realize I am not only imperfect but not even adequate. I am about to enter Graduate school in Musicology and I am terrified. I can't even finish an article I was trying to finish the day of writing this comment. Not even a sentence could stay around before I wanted to [and did] delete and start from scratch. I hate that I can't beat perfectionism and I hate that I can't even be adequate. I don't want to be perfect but simply okay. I seem to evade even that level.
I have signed up for your Society in hopes of helping myself before I do something radically life-changing.
I can not get over my childhood,how my mom never made me feel wanted! Latley I am soo mad! Im trying to be a better person,but I have to stop thinking this way! I just do not feel good enough!
Thanks for all these great videos. I find yours to have more information and examples than others I've viewed.
Your video helped me to challenge my past traumas and I actually cried to release it and not to long ago I did something that I usually put off (I’ve put it off for months). Thank you for your help.
Julia, thanks for all these awesome videos. I will start therapy in two weeks and you are helping me get a head start. Thanks for helping to make the world a better place. Keep up the fantastic work. Much love and thanks! 🙏
hi Julia! I suggested a friend to come to your channel, as she s got small kids. Watching this video, I would really be interested how you maintain your presence in feminim roles and achieve goals and success at the same time. I do believe that female roles are generally submissive and supporting, nurturing, and many women are unhappy as they are distancing themselves from the feminim roles, which are considered weak from many aspects.
Shifter, needed this so much, I need to like myself!!
Thank you Julia for giving me a better perspective on my life at the moment. I am worthy in this moment and everyday.
YES you are.
Thank you so much for this!! ❤❤
Brilliant video, thank you for this
Thank you for sharing this invaluable guidance
Thank you, Julia ♥️🙏
Absolutely Nena. Glad you're here.
Powerful!!!!!, thank you !🙏
You are helping me so much. Thank you
Hello--I have viewed several of you videos and all have been helpful! This is the first time I have responded. I watched this video because I feel bad almost everyday and I thought this video would have some insight for me, which it did. I like the part about goals and feeling bad about having them. Except with me I don't have any goals which is why I feel bad. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. I have spent so long taking care of others that I don't even know how to set a goal. Thank you for you videos!
Thanks you was great Maria S
thank you . you've cheered me up!
I'm so tired of not feeling good enough. I'm tired of not feeling good enough.
The boundaries discussion... so so important for me right now. Lifted a big weight off. Thank you
Jesus loves you 🌺 🌻🌼 🌷🍤🐕🍦🥞🐩😘🍝🍿🧀🍩😎😍🤗🍢🍡🍣🍥🍧
Hello Julia Kristina, Thank you for your good advice, you speak directly to me.......
This video gave me a reminder that in my life I've had my share of people who treated me like an inferior. This was a boundary violation. I've never had to deal with this at all let alone as many times as I did. I didn't need to suffer at the expense of others who did this to me. In other words I didn't need to feel bad about it.
Jesus loves you 🌺 🌻🌼 🌷🐩😘🍢🥗🍧🍥🍣😎🐈🤗😍🐕🍿
Love your channel . Thank you for creating this inspiring and helpful content for us 🥰🥰
Julia please talk about ( How to overcome self hate) i’ve been struggling with it for almost my whole life
Hello again...and thank you
Hi I'm learning more about myself thank you
this is indeed very helpful! first time here..Thank you Kristina 😀
I'm just feeling bad because someone calls my friend, whom I live with, and unloads a lot of negative energy. It changes the whole feeling of the house. I called her out one time about the negative talk, and she thought she was entitled because she's a victim.
Hi! I am sorry that i just found this video. I love it so much. No, i mean i love you Julia!!! 💙💙💙