The sadness/helplessness/fear on his face while he pushes through singing this beautiful song to his father is so intense. Like you said anticipatory grief. It’s exactly how I felt for the whole 6 months we had between my Mum’s diagnosis with terminal cancer and her death. You have to get on with it, support them, love them, spend quality time with them al while trying to live some kind of normal life and keep working. But you feel like your heart has already been ripped out.
I felt that 3 times in my life and once for my own death i think if it can be categorized as this because i was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure so i was kind of seeing my death slowly creeping up on me but thankfully i got a transplant
The line in the song, I’m not your son, you’re not my father, comes from how they said goodbye to each other when they were deployed to war. He and his father were both officers in the British military and when James was deployed to the Bulkins, he army officer dad said to him, your not my son, I’m not your father, we’re just two grown men saying goodbye. It was their way of detaching themselves emotionally from the situation and also a way of saying I love you I think. He wanted his son to know he saw him as an equal to him, a grown man.
This was not rehearsed. His father had never heard this. James sang this in one take. He refused to do another take and didn't allow autotune. It's why we are so deeply touched. There is nothing fake about this.
I know that's a great story, but its just not true. I've seen it on social media, but go do a deep dive and you'll see that this version of the story is fairly accurate, but not totally. His dad had heard it before. James said he WAS very nervous playing it for him the first time (which wasn't the video) but it went ok. The scene wasn't a single take, but wasn't many. They had some technical issues that made them have to stop a few times. The good news is his dad recovered and didn't pass away.
@@sharronbrown9182 I agree...its a pretty silly thing to be debating, and lord knows there are countless inaccuracies on the internet so I dont know why I bother responding to this one, but it is so frequently repeated and having seen James refute it himself, I couldn't help but try to set the record straight.....but you are right- who cares!
When I was a little girl & scared at night, my dad would "threaten" the monsters under my bed. I believed they were afraid of him. My dad had severe Alzheimer's at the end of his life & thought I was his mom. When he was scared, I would sleep in the recliner next to his bed. He would feel safe because he believed that the monsters were afraid of me (his mom). That was the hardest thing for me. His passing was almost a relief, knowing he wasn't this ghost of the man he once was.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother just passed March from it. The long goodbye is what they call it and I think that sadly describes it doesn't it. It's been the hardest thing to deal with and confront from day one and I can't tell you when it ends as I'm still in it. I've had loss but this beast is something different. It's such a cruel monster. I'm sorry you battled it and I am sending you so much positive vibes.
My dad is dying and has dementia. He was a difficult and tough father, but he loved us deeply. He ran for parliament twice, taught himself to build yachts, helped mom run 3 rest homes. It is the disease that is the monster. I love you dad xxx
I met James in The Balkans during the War. We were both in the Army and deployed there. He's a very special bloke. I recommend his song "No Bravery" he wrote to deal with the his (and very many other soldiers) emotions about that conflict. It helped me deal with my demons a far bit. I'll never forget him going to War in a vehicle with a guitar strapped to the outside 😊.
Outstanding.... Well done, that man. Having your company minstrel be able to express the unexpressable must have helped many deal with the uncertainty and hazards in the profession of arms.
I saw James Blunt in a interview and they asked him how he got through this songs and how many takes did it take he said they done this in one take he said he wanted to give his Dad his Obituary while he was still alive not after he passed he said everyone on the set was crying except his Dad who was encouraging him what i found very remarkable is James showed his emotions by crying through this which i hope helps other men young or old tto understand it's ok for a man to cry nothing but respect for James very beautiful song they had to bring James dad out of the hospital to do this song
@@MusicHealsHQ The "helplessness", that James and his family felt, was that none of them were suitable matches to James' father so they could not help Charles (the father). They searched every avenue by the time James wrote this song. When the Video was released, a distant cousin saw it and decided to get tested, on the off chance he matched. He did. @kracine9582 condensed it perfectly but I just wanted to explain the "fear and helplessness, portrayed in the clip.
The control of emotions you see are from them both being military men .. the line " I'm not your son your not my father we are just two grown men saying goodbye " is what his dad said to James when he was going of to war and was scared
I didnt have anyone to chase my monsters away. Coming from a Chinese background we close off our emotions. My father discarded us when he found another woman and had a child with her. I didnt know my father had died for 2 years as my siblings thought i didnt care. My response was that he is still my father. I am a woman and had made my peace with him my way. I haven’t stopped crying since I discovered Monsters. I am so glad James have this loving relationship with his dad and that he is still alive. Such beautiful raw emotions. I dont understand the hate of James Blunt by the music industry. He is such a genuine homest guy
This was the first time his father heard the song. James sang this live for his dad…. I know that I don’t have the strength to do this. Amazing love shown here
I love the way they are sitting with their arms touching, you can tell they are very close! I also love how his dad pats his arm at the end to comfort him, such a loving gesture! 😢
DAD was dying of kidney disease, stage 4, had donated a kidney years before. Rare blood type no matches to be found. After this song dropped a distant cousin in Australia came forward as a match. Success. Still alive last I knew! Both are military men, so stoicism was a fact as deployments came and death always a looming possibility. Proceeds of record sales are donated to military caritie.
This so g was done in ONE take. His Dad had NOT heard it until til they sat to tape it. I find it incredible that James was able to get through this at all. Secondly, as both father and son had been military men; one of the things they would say to each other when either was deployed was: “I’m not your son, you’re not my father we’re just two grown men saying g good bye.” The fact he implemented this into this song was so touching and so personal. I’ve been touched by this song at so many levels. Kudo’s to both men’s strength in getting through it like they did.
@@lalalala99992 oh okay so you are saying James is lying ? when he said in an interview that it was done in one take ?!! Because obliviously you know more than James does!!!
James Blunt was a tank commander in the British army and saw much action and death in Kosovo. He’s hard as nails and so not afraid to let his emotions spill.
I've read then when it came to recording this song James told the crew - one shot, that's it. . . I don't have more than that in me. It's evident from watching it how difficult it was to get through so it makes sense he'd only one to do it once. Loved the reaction!
I'd never heard of this song until I watched teenager Iam Tongi, who had recently lost his father, sing it on American Idol. He later sang a duet with James Blunt, and it was incredibly touching. James was so sweet, helping Iam through the parts of the song that were too emotional for him and comforting him afterwards. James is a class act.
Also I believe it had been a while since James had played live but he came back to do that one and you could tell he was nervous! It was almost like the roles were reversed
This was my first introduction to this song as well, in that setting it really felt like James was the father figure to Iam in the moment. James taking his arm and pulling him through the performance felt like such a healing emotion.
There is a documentary about James at the moment. He is a master with words. Our press are vile to him. But he is a wonderful veteran. He is a sweet, kind, driven man. My Pa has cancer at the moment. So do I. I can’t get past the first verse without breaking down. I’ve tried. But he says what I feel. Amazing man. Thank you for sharing with so many people. I’m proud of Blunty! He’s a gentleman and an artist.
My old man was a monster. He beat the Hell out of me my entire childhood and I was a good kid. Got good grades, never got into trouble. He never came to any of my football games or track meets, traded away the car I wanted to buy from him when I got home from basic on purpose to get back at me for choosing to serve my country instead of selling used cars at his crappy used car lot, never visited me when I was in the hospital for two years recovering from my injuries suffered in the duty, never once said he was proud of me. I forgave him until 12 years ago when he said he'd do it all over again. He died last month. If he's in Heaven, he now knows the mental and physical pain he has caused me. Forgiveness is now between him and God. If you had a horrible father, don't be like him. Learn from his mistakes and be the best damn dad you can. Your kids deserve it.
I am so sorry you had a crappy childhood. I am so mad at your father. I had the best parents in the world. So I know what a happy childhood feels like. My siblings and I were very blessed. My parents have passed away too. I hope you find a special person to build a wonderful family. I will pray for you.
Michael, so sorry for your experiences when vulnerable. I'm glad you found a way to discharge resentment in forging your own path as an honourable man in the profession of arms. Service for your country should be recognised for the high risk it is. Thank you for your contributions to the world's safety and security. May you live all the days of your life....
I always call to mind too that he is a veteran, rose to Captain in the Life Guards regiment of the British Army, served in Kosovo during the war. He has real courage and guts for letting his family love out like this, he deserves great respect for so many things he does, including regular charity support for Médécins Sans Frontières. He’s a wonderful rôle model, as well as a heartbreaking singer.
James has a more recent song called The Girl That Never Was which is likewise a bit of a gut punch when you realize what it is about. He is able to take the life experiences we all have and deliver them in song form that is both great and heart breaking at the same time. He's able to express the emotions we feel in times of life's challenges. If you have lost a parent to longer term illness, he really hits it on the head with this, the roles reverse and you take the role of caregiver that the parent once has for you.
The dad received a kidney transplant after a distant cousin saw this video, his father was a kidney donor himself. Like a miracle…they didn’t have even hope before that. James is a very special singer and person. Very feeling…emotional. Lovely music all around, but no, I cannot think if anyone who sounds like him, his voice is very very unique. I watch this video often, helps whenever I feel overwhelmed, to release some anxiety and depression. Thank you.
I took care of my mother (and best friend) during her struggle with ovarian cancer. We fought for 4 years and I became the mother, she the child. One thing I did was sit in her bedroom during the night, while she slept because she told me the scariest hours were in the middle of the night. Everyone was asleep but she would wake up and know she was dying. So from then on, when she opened her eyes in the night, I was there. I couldn’t bear for her to be afraid. Together we laughed, alone we cried.
James did a great job with these lyrics , they' re based on a poem written by his sister. The line" i'm not your son your not my father we're just two men saying goodbye" was what they said when as Army Officers they deployed. I served myself and never said "goodbye" when i deployed, it was always something like " see you later ". Even now with two sons serving i don't say "Goodbye" to them.
My Aunt told me this when my Dad's health was failing ..." Once an Adult, Twice a Child"... I'll Never regret caring for Him ..Ever! I feel his James Blunt's heart...❤
My sister played this song at my Dad's Celebration of Life and there wasn't a dry eye in the place. My brother almost fell apart. My dad had a brain tumour that slowly took his memory away. I was with him for the first 6 months or so. We would be up at 2 am drinking coffee. Some days we had two breakfasts as he would forget he already ate. He still drove with me as a passenger for a while until we had to take his keys. He would get scared sometimes which was the hardest part for me. We made sure he was never alone. My youngest sister had him at her place for the final three months (just down the road) as his physical needs increased. She was a rock star. She had nurses organized, a housecall doctor, medical equipment and other support all ready to go when he moved in to her house. So us three sisters and some of the grandkids rotated and Dad stayed home right to the end. He passed away in the afternoon looking at the lake after we all said good-bye. My sister was holding his hand when he took his last breath. We couldn't have scripted it more peacefully. My brother (youngest) did very little. I understand it was hard on him but I know my Dad would have liked to see him more. So now three years later, my brother hates my sister and I because we talked Dad out of something. I have no idea what. I think his mother put ideas in his head. He only talks to our middle sister. He got the house and property. There wasn't much else because Dad never had much. Apologies for dumping all this but this is what the song gives me memories of.
What an amazing gift you gave your dad, taking care of him for so long. I could envision the scene with having coffee together into breakfast and it brought tears to my eyes. 🥹I’m so glad you got that quality time with him and I’m sure he cherished it.❤
It just really got to me the way his father leaned in and looked him full on in the eyes, and then moved with the rhythm of the melody. He was totally physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually present with his son. He even raised his eyebrows at one point, reacting to what his son was saying, and smiled. The comfort he was feeling with his son beside him was so clear. Charles Blount was a Colonel in the British Army Air Corps.
James and his parents lived near me a long while ago at Cley Windmill in norfolk. Their surname is Blount but james changed it to Blunt when he started out as a recording artist.
James is a constant inspiration to us brits we love him. Blunt was an officer in the British Army Life Guards, a cavalry regiment of the British Army, and served under NATO in Kosovo during the conflict in 1999. He’s such a talented man with a great heart
I would highly recommend No Bravery. James wrote it while dealing with his experience as a serving officer during the war in the Balkans. The Girl That Never Was is also very personal and painful. James is a Bard. His lyrics are alway incredible ❤️. Thank you for the insightful reaction.
I've never seen a live performance of No Bravery in which it's clear that James is still angry over that time. The Radio 2 Live performance that came out during the first lockdown in 2020 caused the cameras in the room to shake, and he's just in his house.
Absolutely so well said! I discovered James Blunt just a few months ago with this song. I am , or was a musician,and I am absolutely just amazed,that’s not even enough,by his music and as you said incredible lyrics. Also he is really underrated,not in Europe but here in the states. I don’t think I heard anyone come even close to him, not just his unique voice but the way he can express his emotions and feelings in his songs and still singing amazingly. He is one of a kind, I always think I listened to most of his songs and then I find yet another one. Just blown away,no matter how many times I listen to a song. Take care 😊
The emotional intensity of this performance is off the scale. It broke me down intensely the first time I experienced it. I see the lyric "I'm not your son, you're not my father, we're just two grown men saying goodbye" is a way he and his dad are trying to deal with the 'anticipatory grief'. By putting the relationship in the light of 'just two grown men' it isn't as close or as personal or as intense. Making a space in which they can function without total emotional collapse. I know that this phrase was something they used when they were separated by their military service, and that history makes it a known quantity to them.
I lost my dad in 2018 he went into hospice not long after his defibrillator out i wasn't there when he passed but my last memory of him was before he went into hospice. It was him in his chair watching ESPN. I lost him 5 days later. Holidays always hit hard this time of year
I was ten when after a long illness my father died in a hospital. He gave me so much and I never had a chance to tell him thank you. James Blunt will not have to live with that regret.
I've said it once, ill say it again, james blunt - monsters !! omg so emotional, how some people can say hes crap is beyond me!, mans a war hero,a veteran, stood guard over the queen mother when she was lying in state!
When he calls him “daddy” it’s an immense moment of vulnerability and while he says they are “two grown men” it’s a fleeting acknowledgement that he is still a child fearing the loss of his father. The fluctuations between roles father child, carer, cared for are intensely moving.
I nursed my father through terminal asbestos cancer 12 years ago this September. I still relive his last 2 weeks in my head most nights.....I cant remember what he looked like before cancer took control, literally have to have photos of him around so that I remember. This song reminds me of my older brother sitting with my dad, reading his bible to him.... Now Im facing the end of my own life. Its quite a perspective, I look forward to the new adventure.....but this song will always make me cry.
These two men were military men, English military men, and the culture generated from both influences are genuinely unique. I don't think anyone but an English man could've penned and performed such a song, or reacted in the way his father did, my utmost respect to both from the island of Ireland
Thank you for this beautiful reaction. In my experience of losing my parents a month apart after many years of ill health having been their primary carer, being with them at their deathbeds, and then my life partner who died from cancer, you somehow find the strength to do whatever you have to do at the time, but pay the price afterwards.
What a lovely reaction. It's one which we all share every time we watch the video, I'm sure. I heard that as James and his father were former British military men, James donated all the proceeds from this video to the UK charity 'Help For Heroes' who do so much fantastic work for ex-servicemen and women, and God bless him for that. ❤🙋♂
Watched many reactions to this powerful song, by far and way above all the others, this is by far the best reaction and understanding of the emotions of this song and the strength it took for James Blunt and his father to make.
I’m blessed that my parents are young and I still have my father, but this song makes me SOB every time. I worked as a caregiver for a while, and for a funeral home recently. This song specifically reminds me of loved ones on hospice as well as loved ones with dementia or Alzheimer’s..the line about it’s his turn to chase the monsters away reminds me of the almost infant and childlike fear in memory care patients. Truly heartbreaking.
I have been my father's full-time caregiver since 2019. I did put my personal care on the back burner until I had a heart attack. Personal care is crucial.
I have seen this video over a hundred times and I cry each time. I love the song, it’s beautiful with such a amazing story. Much respect for both of them for sharing their story.
It's not just the stress of how you deal with the situation, and what problems, responsibilities, you have, but it's your siblings; how they react, interact, and deal with the situation that affects you. The bigger the family the more difficult the dynamics.
Now you need to watch the video of James performing this song with Iam Tongi on American Idol. Iam was a 17-year-old kid whose father passed away a couple months before he auditioned for the show. This was his audition song and they brought James in to sing it with him live on the show. Iam won the competition that season, and their performance will forever be one of the show's greatest moments. James was so compassionate in the way he got Iam through that performance.
Jim, I had the same reaction as you when the view panned out and his dad showed up in the scene. I was shocked and burst into tears, over the steady tears that were already flowing. I found this song after my mom had passed away from glioblastoma. I felt every word of James. My dad has also passed away so this song gets me every time I watch it - which is countless times by now. I appreciate the gentleness and love James expresses in this song. I feel the same way towards my parents. Thank you for reacting to this song. Thank you for giving words to why this song matters so much to people like me.
His father had a kidney transplant and recovered, but this song remains for everybody who had experienced or is about to experience the loss of a loved one. Absolutely emotional
As the caregiver for my elderly, ill father this song is so relatable. I weep each time I hear it. The anticipatory grief I feel makes me so overwhelmed and anxious especially since my mother is elderly and her partner is going through hospice and I try to help them too. It’s been a rough year. I hear Blunt’s raw, bittersweet emotions and grief and I feel less isolated. A beautiful tribute of a song.
The thing that hits me the hardest is that, as James struggles to get through the song, when he sings "you can feel my hand on your arm", his Dad reaches over and places his hand on James' arm to comfort him. And again, at the very end of the song, he reaches out to comfort James. The roles aren't completely reversed here.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am going through this experience presently myself. It is so exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally that sometimes I wish I was dead but I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to move forward one step at a time with all the support and help that I can get around me. Thank you once again.
Love it that you saw how his father patted his arm at the very end. Even when he is quasi in the process of dying, he is still the one that chases the monsters away. The responsibilities are still established, the promise of the sun is to assure that FOR OTHERS he will now see his role to take over responsibility.
About responsibilities, who is actually in control, I found that in me when catamaran sailing with a friend. He was the experienced one. And I felt even when I am at the tiller, so "officially" are in command, that is not true. It is still him that is in command. As long as he is there, I will always have an eye on him, watch his reaction. As long as he is relaxed, I do OK, but when I see him stiffen up, long before he says anything, I am doing something wrong, must change something. Understanding this I knew I would NEVER learn to sail all on my own as long as he is around. So I went to a sailing club on my own, to break up this ranking. And went out with someone, also a "trainee" for the course that would start, let him sail. First I did not want to steer, but he insisted. - "here is the tiller". And it worked great. The spell was broken.
Has nothing to do with this wonderfully heartbraking song, but it is also psychology. The more I understand my own behavior, the easier it is to change myself.
Peculiar and fantastic voice of James Blunt. We cannot help but be moved by the rawness and composition in terms of music and lyrics. Each one will search within themselves for similar visceral and exintentional experiences. It was especially my turn to scare away monsters with my mother's terminal dementia... I left all my problems frozen and accompanied her the last few months in the only way I knew how, with love and tenderness. A smile and joy came out of me that I hadn't had in years, she didn't know who she was, but she always smiled at me. Thanks for your reaction.
For the first time in a reaction video, I wasn't annoyed by the continuous pauses. Everything you shared was very informative and helpful. This has been the best reaction video to date by anyone I have seen. Thank you. 😊
The first time I heard this it just gutted me, what a frankly wrenching emotion he wrings from his voice. Beautiful, simply beautiful. Thank you for the analysis of the song and your insights!🫶✌️
I am a great grandfather now and this is the most beautiful and sad song that I have ever heard.... My father passed away on Dec. 7, 2006 while he slept.He had no illnesses. He was laid to rest on his birthday 6 days later. Dad I still miss you so very much.
This is my first time seeing one of your reactions. I subbed as I appreciate your thoughts as a psychotherapist. Music has always been my escape (like meditation) since I was a kid. Now, music, and reaction videos, have been my balm and what has gotten me through the last couple of years. It started with a phone call telling me my brother was in a hit-and-run accident on his motorcycle. He was left on the side of the road. He was in a coma for 3 months. While this was going on, I got a phone call to get to the hospital ASAP, my father-in-law had collapsed. We were too late, and he passed while we were on our way there. Days later, I got the call that my brother passed. One funeral on Monday, the other on Friday. Then my mom became ill as she couldn't handle losing her son, I kept taking her to doctors who kept sending her home. Four months later, I lost my mom. My husband and I were scrambling to take care of his mom and my dad. I had to become my uncle's Power of Attorney at the same time, as he, the patriarch of the family, started to decline. I lost my uncle 7 months ago, and we just lost my mother-in-law a few weeks ago. When you lose loved ones, and you are trying to mourn, the paperwork and legalities can push anyone over the edge. Songs like this one are so powerful, because the songs allow you the moments to sit and cry -- to heal -- to know you are not alone. Avi Kaplan's music has been my favorite go-to, and I hope you check out some of his work.
I think we as people who love to watch reactors, like to connect sometimes, & showing vulnerability with us, does that......thank you for being real & raw with us, & really appreciate your feedback & analysis 💗💗💗
Well done ! Love love this song, ripped my heart out when I first heard it! I've been through too many deaths...Thank you for sharing this! Very helpful. I know that music heals.. I have ALWAYS thought that! Thank you!
One thing I hadn't notice before, but now makes the whole song. They are leaning in towards each other slightly, all the way through the song, gaining strength and comfort, to say the things that need saying in the lyrics of the song!
hospice nurse to my father as he passed, my mother passed away 4 days ago - i spend the last 10 years taking care of her after he died... i absolutely know his fear and his joy. my father has been alone for all this time and she's going back to the one she loves. your loved ones are worth your the best spots in your hearts.
I mourned my mother before her death, she died unexpectedly but many months before that I had a feeling of what would I do without her and it was hard for me...She passed 8 years ago and I have felt the pain every day since!
I became aware of this song when Iam Tongi sang it during his audition for American Idol (very moving if you haven’t seen it as was the season finale when James Blunt sang with Iam Tongi). Every time I see a video or hear a song on my phone, I tear up and get flooded with memories of the days when my mother was dying in the hospital. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts on this beautiful song and video.
I can't tell you how many times I've watched this video and I cry every time!! He's Amazing! And you must watch Carry you Home, No Bravery, Both relating to his time in the balkans Oh My goodness! Also The Girl that never was.
Enjoyed your commentary. Thanks! I’ve listened to this song dozens of times still can’t get through it without tears. It was so healing to me when my own father passed about a year and a half ago. Especially the lyric “no need to forgive, no need to forget. I know your mistakes and you know mine”. It’s permission to move on from all the mistakes and/or things we wish we had done differently in the relationship, which is such a kind and caring gift to give. In the end, none of that is important.
Thank you for what I feel is a very insightful reaction. I think the line that gets to me the most is when he says "...no need to forgive, no need to forget, I know your mistakes and you know mine..." I take it as, no matter what arguments we've had or things we disagree on, right here, right now, none of that matters, I love you. Unfortunately, I missed the opportunity to have that conversation with my father. While I regret that, I hope that my children will be able to have that conversation with me. (Preferably, many many years from now)
Goodbye My Lover, No Bravery, Carry You Home, and The Girl Who Never Was are other songs of his you should react to as well. You may recognize his voice from the song “You’re Beautiful”. It was a big hit played everywhere.
What ❤brave message ,the video is phenomenal. It’s the message that’s important and how you use it and how everything affects you towards the other person. It’s brilliant ❤
It’s ok to get emotional at this song because we’ve all experienced this or have the fear we will one day so it’s a hugely anxious song for me. I love my dad but he’s in his late 70s and the fear of losing him is so great it causes me panic attacks because The love I have for that man
But he lived! His dad lived through this. And this makes the song even more powerful if that's possible. Word is, after this take was done, everyone was in tears. The entire crew. His dad looked around and asked "Why is everyone crying? I'm still here." If I ever had the chance to talk to him, I would have said something like "Sir, I bow to your courage."
When my grandma was going to pass away she was not herself anymore. She reacted and said things like she was back in her childhood. She has not noticed anyone in the room and she was under morphine. It has showed me that some monsters from her childhood came back and I tried to calm her like her mother would do.
I am so glad you didn’t stop the video before you say James’ dad pat his arm to comfort him at the end. So many do! That part finishes me off because the father is still trying to comfort the son even though the roles are reversing 😢 I feel like I have some sort of PTSD after taking care of my mother up until her death. She was the best woman I’ve ever known. My best friend. And she fought so hard for so long. And I moved in and nursed her at the end. All the while my step father was being his usual asshole self. I did everything for her, while working remotely and dealing with a chronic pain disorder I have. Then the family imploded after she died. And I kept so much of the horror of her ending to myself to protect my brothers. I spent a few years after travelling and just running away from myself. I’ve since spent 7 years becoming a recluse and hiding myself away. I only have the energy to take care of the tasks to keep myself alive while dealing with severe constant pain. So all that along with a lot of trauma from my past… I think I’m pretty shut down. But I’m not depressed per se. I feel content being on my own with my cat.. probably because it’s easy and I’ve always been a lone wolf. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me that I like my own company too much 🤷♀️ Now my father is in stage 4 cancer and I know I’ll be called upon to do his end of life care… I’m dreading it. But it’s what we do for family, even those we aren’t close to.
Thank you for sharing your some of your story. Caring for others can be draining. Please invest in some self-care also. You can find a therapist near you at www.psychologytoday.com Best to you and yours. 🤟❤️🎵🙏
Apart for the song, I really needed to hear your words, having just gone throught this with my mother. I live with this unbearable guilt that I should have been a better son.
I bawled my eyes out for hours after I heard this. It has been one of my new favourite songs for months. Its a powerful song. I sing it myself and change the lyrics to child, mother and grown ups. I've already lost my dad so I sing it for my mum. I love your real, raw reaction to this.
Knowing it’s coming is the worst part. I left work the day my father died. He was waiting for my aunt Mary- his older sister, as soon as she got to or our house, I knew he would pass- my boss told me I was crazy for saying he was going to die THAT day, so I walked away from work and picked up my sons in their rollerblades and took the BACK to my mom’s so they could say goodbye… it’s hard, but necessary
James embodies all of Kubler-Ross's stages of grief and impending death. This performance do real, such a vocal struggle but with beauty, grace, anguish and a myriad of other conflicting emotions. The "monsters" need to be chased away so he can handle the possibility of his father leaving too soon. Thank you, James, my 31 yr old daughter left too soon and this helps.
My mother died suddenly in an accident when I was 30. I wished for anticipatory grief. I wished I could say goodbye. 22 years later my father just turned 89. He’s not even “sick” but the anticipatory grief is crushing. I’m a daughter, not a son, but every time I hear this song I heal a little more.
This helps me too. My Dad is 86 and still pretty darn healthy. But I am already grieving a little- at the same time giving thanks for having him here for this time.
That feeling of helplessness is so real. Both my grandma and my oldest brother are on their deathbeds right now the feeling of mourning someone before they are gone is such a painful and hard to explain emotion.
Thank you for explaining anticipatory grief. I know what I feel but didn't have a term for it. My Daddy was diagnosed with Parkinson's then Lung cancer not too long after. I joined a grief support group but felt like I didn't belong at first because I have not yet gone through his loss. I just felt like I was going through the 5 stages, still am. So thank you for touching on that. 🙏❤️
i went through this when i was 15 years old, 30 years ago now and it still hurts today as it did then.. i sat at his death bed and told him to have no regrets and i would do my best to make him proud... this song broke me when i first heard it
wow! that song came out not long after my father passed. He battled cancer for 4 years and what you said about the child neglecting themself hit me hard. I did suffer a major depression while he was fighting, I just felt like I wasn't doing enough. Very good reaction and loving how you explain things
For a bit of insight, when you have end stage renal disease there are many criteria you have to meet to even get on the list for a kidney transplant. His father would have likely been disqualified on age alone. I am so happy they were able to find a live donor. 💚
This was most true of my Maternal grandmother & paternal grandfather. Alzheimer’s and Dementia divorced them from their timelines & left them longing for those they love, but can no longer recognize. 😢💜
The sadness/helplessness/fear on his face while he pushes through singing this beautiful song to his father is so intense. Like you said anticipatory grief. It’s exactly how I felt for the whole 6 months we had between my Mum’s diagnosis with terminal cancer and her death. You have to get on with it, support them, love them, spend quality time with them al while trying to live some kind of normal life and keep working. But you feel like your heart has already been ripped out.
Thank you for sharing this. Stay strong and shine on!
I felt that 3 times in my life and once for my own death i think if it can be categorized as this because i was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure so i was kind of seeing my death slowly creeping up on me but thankfully i got a transplant
The line in the song, I’m not your son, you’re not my father, comes from how they said goodbye to each other when they were deployed to war. He and his father were both officers in the British military and when James was deployed to the Bulkins, he army officer dad said to him, your not my son, I’m not your father, we’re just two grown men saying goodbye. It was their way of detaching themselves emotionally from the situation and also a way of saying I love you I think. He wanted his son to know he saw him as an equal to him, a grown man.
His father served int the Falklands war.
This was not rehearsed. His father had never heard this. James sang this in one take. He refused to do another take and didn't allow autotune. It's why we are so deeply touched. There is nothing fake about this.
I know that's a great story, but its just not true. I've seen it on social media, but go do a deep dive and you'll see that this version of the story is fairly accurate, but not totally. His dad had heard it before. James said he WAS very nervous playing it for him the first time (which wasn't the video) but it went ok. The scene wasn't a single take, but wasn't many. They had some technical issues that made them have to stop a few times. The good news is his dad recovered and didn't pass away.
@@thecityman1910it’s true it’s been more takes but the final result we got was just one shot
@@thecityman1910 Does any of that really matter? I don't think so.
@@sharronbrown9182 I agree...its a pretty silly thing to be debating, and lord knows there are countless inaccuracies on the internet so I dont know why I bother responding to this one, but it is so frequently repeated and having seen James refute it himself, I couldn't help but try to set the record straight.....but you are right- who cares!
When I was a little girl & scared at night, my dad would "threaten" the monsters under my bed. I believed they were afraid of him. My dad had severe Alzheimer's at the end of his life & thought I was his mom. When he was scared, I would sleep in the recliner next to his bed. He would feel safe because he believed that the monsters were afraid of me (his mom). That was the hardest thing for me. His passing was almost a relief, knowing he wasn't this ghost of the man he once was.
The time you shared with your dad is so special. Thank you for sharing this beautiful example of love! ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother just passed March from it. The long goodbye is what they call it and I think that sadly describes it doesn't it. It's been the hardest thing to deal with and confront from day one and I can't tell you when it ends as I'm still in it. I've had loss but this beast is something different. It's such a cruel monster. I'm sorry you battled it and I am sending you so much positive vibes.
💔💔💔🌻🌻🌻
This brought tears to my eyes. 😢❤
My dad is dying and has dementia. He was a difficult and tough father, but he loved us deeply. He ran for parliament twice, taught himself to build yachts, helped mom run 3 rest homes. It is the disease that is the monster. I love you dad xxx
I met James in The Balkans during the War. We were both in the Army and deployed there. He's a very special bloke. I recommend his song "No Bravery" he wrote to deal with the his (and very many other soldiers) emotions about that conflict. It helped me deal with my demons a far bit. I'll never forget him going to War in a vehicle with a guitar strapped to the outside 😊.
Outstanding.... Well done, that man.
Having your company minstrel be able to express the unexpressable must have helped many deal with the uncertainty and hazards in the profession of arms.
I love No Bravery! He's a wonderful musician!
Wow, what an amazing thing in such a horrific environment
♥️
I saw James Blunt in a interview and they asked him how he got through this songs and how many takes did it take he said they done this in one take he said he wanted to give his Dad his Obituary while he was still alive not after he passed he said everyone on the set was crying except his Dad who was encouraging him what i found very remarkable is James showed his emotions by crying through this which i hope helps other men young or old tto understand it's ok for a man to cry nothing but respect for James very beautiful song they had to bring James dad out of the hospital to do this song
The most beautiful song ive ever heard. You Are allowed to Cry ❤
His father had a terminal kidney disease, but after this video came out, a cousin came forward and gave him a kidney. So far he is doing well.
So glad to hear he’s doing better! Thanks 🙏
@@MusicHealsHQ The "helplessness", that James and his family felt, was that none of them were suitable matches to James' father so they could not help Charles (the father). They searched every avenue by the time James wrote this song. When the Video was released, a distant cousin saw it and decided to get tested, on the off chance he matched. He did. @kracine9582 condensed it perfectly but I just wanted to explain the "fear and helplessness, portrayed in the clip.
It also is noteworthy that Charles Blount only had the one kidney to rely on because he had donated a kidney for another person.
The control of emotions you see are from them both being military men .. the line " I'm not your son your not my father we are just two grown men saying goodbye " is what his dad said to James when he was going of to war and was scared
The video was seen by a distant relative, he was a match. Also James father donated a kidney years before leaving him in a bad situation
When the turn and look at each other and James calls him daddy…. Breaks me every time
This was done in one take, completely raw, he was crying for real and it rips you apart.
I didnt have anyone to chase my monsters away. Coming from a Chinese background we close off our emotions. My father discarded us when he found another woman and had a child with her. I didnt know my father had died for 2 years as my siblings thought i didnt care. My response was that he is still my father.
I am a woman and had made my peace with him my way. I haven’t stopped crying since I discovered Monsters. I am so glad James have this loving relationship with his dad and that he is still alive.
Such beautiful raw emotions. I dont understand the hate of James Blunt by the music industry. He is such a genuine homest guy
This was the first time his father heard the song. James sang this live for his dad…. I know that I don’t have the strength to do this. Amazing love shown here
I love the way they are sitting with their arms touching, you can tell they are very close! I also love how his dad pats his arm at the end to comfort him, such a loving gesture! 😢
DAD was dying of kidney disease, stage 4, had donated a kidney years before. Rare blood type no matches to be found. After this song dropped a distant cousin in Australia came forward as a match. Success. Still alive last I knew! Both are military men, so stoicism was a fact as deployments came and death always a looming possibility. Proceeds of record sales are donated to military caritie.
This so g was done in ONE take. His Dad had NOT heard it until til they sat to tape it. I find it incredible that James was able to get through this at all. Secondly, as both father and son had been military men; one of the things they would say to each other when either was deployed was: “I’m not your son, you’re not my father we’re just two grown men saying g good bye.” The fact he implemented this into this song was so touching and so personal. I’ve been touched by this song at so many levels.
Kudo’s to both men’s strength in getting through it like they did.
It wasn't rhe first time he heard the song, James played it for him and asked if he wanted to be in the video. So second time, but still.
none of that is true but I guess one lie repeated many times becomes true, right?
@@lalalala99992 oh okay so you are saying James is lying ? when he said in an interview that it was done in one take ?!! Because obliviously you know more than James does!!!
@@Reba-123 doing in one take is not the same as doing it in the first take. That is basic knowledge.
James Blunt was a tank commander in the British army and saw much action and death in Kosovo. He’s hard as nails and so not afraid to let his emotions spill.
I've read then when it came to recording this song James told the crew - one shot, that's it. . . I don't have more than that in me. It's evident from watching it how difficult it was to get through so it makes sense he'd only one to do it once. Loved the reaction!
when the video was over everyone in the room was crying except daddy. he looked at everyone and said why are u all crying im still here
That’s lovely. Any chance your dad has any Irish blood in the family ? So like my dad
I'd never heard of this song until I watched teenager Iam Tongi, who had recently lost his father, sing it on American Idol. He later sang a duet with James Blunt, and it was incredibly touching. James was so sweet, helping Iam through the parts of the song that were too emotional for him and comforting him afterwards. James is a class act.
That one is even more emotional than this... when James touches him and is like take it away, it's yours now too I LOST IT
Also I believe it had been a while since James had played live but he came back to do that one and you could tell he was nervous! It was almost like the roles were reversed
Same here.
This was my first introduction to this song as well, in that setting it really felt like James was the father figure to Iam in the moment. James taking his arm and pulling him through the performance felt like such a healing emotion.
There was no rehearsal one take.the whole crew was crying James dad said why are you crying I'm still here
His Dad's quote at the end of the video: "Why is everybody crying? I'm still here."
🤣 Awesome!
There is a documentary about James at the moment. He is a master with words. Our press are vile to him. But he is a wonderful veteran. He is a sweet, kind, driven man. My Pa has cancer at the moment. So do I. I can’t get past the first verse without breaking down. I’ve tried. But he says what I feel. Amazing man. Thank you for sharing with so many people. I’m proud of Blunty! He’s a gentleman and an artist.
My old man was a monster. He beat the Hell out of me my entire childhood and I was a good kid. Got good grades, never got into trouble. He never came to any of my football games or track meets, traded away the car I wanted to buy from him when I got home from basic on purpose to get back at me for choosing to serve my country instead of selling used cars at his crappy used car lot, never visited me when I was in the hospital for two years recovering from my injuries suffered in the duty, never once said he was proud of me. I forgave him until 12 years ago when he said he'd do it all over again. He died last month. If he's in Heaven, he now knows the mental and physical pain he has caused me. Forgiveness is now between him and God. If you had a horrible father, don't be like him. Learn from his mistakes and be the best damn dad you can. Your kids deserve it.
You make an excellent point; we can certainly learn from non-examples. Glad to hear you want to be a better person. Shine on!
I am so sorry you had a crappy childhood. I am so mad at your father. I had the best parents in the world. So I know what a happy childhood feels like. My siblings and I were very blessed. My parents have passed away too. I hope you find a special person to build a wonderful family. I will pray for you.
I'm sorry you went through that. To me you became a well adjusted human being. God bless you.
Michael, so sorry for your experiences when vulnerable. I'm glad you found a way to discharge resentment in forging your own path as an honourable man in the profession of arms. Service for your country should be recognised for the high risk it is. Thank you for your contributions to the world's safety and security.
May you live all the days of your life....
I'm so sorry for what you went through...
I always call to mind too that he is a veteran, rose to Captain in the Life Guards regiment of the British Army, served in Kosovo during the war. He has real courage and guts for letting his family love out like this, he deserves great respect for so many things he does, including regular charity support for Médécins Sans Frontières. He’s a wonderful rôle model, as well as a heartbreaking singer.
someone who chases your monsters away, is someone that simply makes you feel safe.
The love, understanding, and pride shows in daddy’s looks.
James has a more recent song called The Girl That Never Was which is likewise a bit of a gut punch when you realize what it is about. He is able to take the life experiences we all have and deliver them in song form that is both great and heart breaking at the same time. He's able to express the emotions we feel in times of life's challenges. If you have lost a parent to longer term illness, he really hits it on the head with this, the roles reverse and you take the role of caregiver that the parent once has for you.
The dad received a kidney transplant after a distant cousin saw this video, his father was a kidney donor himself. Like a miracle…they didn’t have even hope before that. James is a very special singer and person. Very feeling…emotional. Lovely music all around, but no, I cannot think if anyone who sounds like him, his voice is very very unique. I watch this video often, helps whenever I feel overwhelmed, to release some anxiety and depression. Thank you.
You nailed how it feels to know someone is going to die, and there's nothing we can do about it 😢
Thank you for watching. Peace and love to you and yours.
I took care of my mother (and best friend) during her struggle with ovarian cancer. We fought for 4 years and I became the mother, she the child. One thing I did was sit in her bedroom during the night, while she slept because she told me the scariest hours were in the middle of the night. Everyone was asleep but she would wake up and know she was dying. So from then on, when she opened her eyes in the night, I was there. I couldn’t bear for her to be afraid. Together we laughed, alone we cried.
Thank you for sharing this. Shine on!
James did a great job with these lyrics , they' re based on a poem written by his sister. The line" i'm not your son your not my father we're just two men saying goodbye" was what they said when as Army Officers they deployed. I served myself and never said "goodbye" when i deployed, it was always something like " see you later ". Even now with two sons serving i don't say "Goodbye" to them.
My Aunt told me this when my Dad's health was failing ..." Once an Adult, Twice a Child"... I'll Never regret caring for Him ..Ever! I feel his James Blunt's heart...❤
My sister played this song at my Dad's Celebration of Life and there wasn't a dry eye in the place. My brother almost fell apart.
My dad had a brain tumour that slowly took his memory away. I was with him for the first 6 months or so. We would be up at 2 am drinking coffee. Some days we had two breakfasts as he would forget he already ate. He still drove with me as a passenger for a while until we had to take his keys. He would get scared sometimes which was the hardest part for me. We made sure he was never alone.
My youngest sister had him at her place for the final three months (just down the road) as his physical needs increased. She was a rock star. She had nurses organized, a housecall doctor, medical equipment and other support all ready to go when he moved in to her house. So us three sisters and some of the grandkids rotated and Dad stayed home right to the end. He passed away in the afternoon looking at the lake after we all said good-bye. My sister was holding his hand when he took his last breath. We couldn't have scripted it more peacefully. My brother (youngest) did very little. I understand it was hard on him but I know my Dad would have liked to see him more.
So now three years later, my brother hates my sister and I because we talked Dad out of something. I have no idea what. I think his mother put ideas in his head. He only talks to our middle sister. He got the house and property. There wasn't much else because Dad never had much.
Apologies for dumping all this but this is what the song gives me memories of.
Thank you for sharing this. Stay strong and shine on!
Hugs and love to you
What an amazing gift you gave your dad, taking care of him for so long. I could envision the scene with having coffee together into breakfast and it brought tears to my eyes. 🥹I’m so glad you got that quality time with him and I’m sure he cherished it.❤
It just really got to me the way his father leaned in and looked him full on in the eyes, and then moved with the rhythm of the melody. He was totally physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually present with his son. He even raised his eyebrows at one point, reacting to what his son was saying, and smiled. The comfort he was feeling with his son beside him was so clear. Charles Blount was a Colonel in the British Army Air Corps.
You are very observant. You saw this as it was for them in that moment.
James and his parents lived near me a long while ago at Cley Windmill in norfolk. Their surname is Blount but james changed it to Blunt when he started out as a recording artist.
James is a constant inspiration to us brits we love him. Blunt was an officer in the British Army Life Guards, a cavalry regiment of the British Army, and served under NATO in Kosovo during the conflict in 1999. He’s such a talented man with a great heart
I would highly recommend No Bravery. James wrote it while dealing with his experience as a serving officer during the war in the Balkans. The Girl That Never Was is also very personal and painful. James is a Bard. His lyrics are alway incredible ❤️. Thank you for the insightful reaction.
I've never seen a live performance of No Bravery in which it's clear that James is still angry over that time. The Radio 2 Live performance that came out during the first lockdown in 2020 caused the cameras in the room to shake, and he's just in his house.
Absolutely so well said! I discovered James Blunt just a few months ago with this song. I am , or was a musician,and I am absolutely just amazed,that’s not even enough,by his music and as you said incredible lyrics. Also he is really underrated,not in Europe but here in the states. I don’t think I heard anyone come even close to him, not just his unique voice but the way he can express his emotions and feelings in his songs and still singing amazingly. He is one of a kind, I always think I listened to most of his songs and then I find yet another one. Just blown away,no matter how many times I listen to a song. Take care 😊
The emotional intensity of this performance is off the scale. It broke me down intensely the first time I experienced it. I see the lyric "I'm not your son, you're not my father, we're just two grown men saying goodbye" is a way he and his dad are trying to deal with the 'anticipatory grief'. By putting the relationship in the light of 'just two grown men' it isn't as close or as personal or as intense. Making a space in which they can function without total emotional collapse. I know that this phrase was something they used when they were separated by their military service, and that history makes it a known quantity to them.
I lost my dad in 2018 he went into hospice not long after his defibrillator out i wasn't there when he passed but my last memory of him was before he went into hospice. It was him in his chair watching ESPN. I lost him 5 days later. Holidays always hit hard this time of year
I was ten when after a long illness my father died in a hospital. He gave me so much and I never had a chance to tell him thank you. James Blunt will not have to live with that regret.
I've said it once, ill say it again, james blunt - monsters !! omg so emotional, how some people can say hes crap is beyond me!, mans a war hero,a veteran, stood guard over the queen mother when she was lying in state!
Ilove his music❤
When he calls him “daddy” it’s an immense moment of vulnerability and while he says they are “two grown men” it’s a fleeting acknowledgement that he is still a child fearing the loss of his father. The fluctuations between roles father child, carer, cared for are intensely moving.
I nursed my father through terminal asbestos cancer 12 years ago this September. I still relive his last 2 weeks in my head most nights.....I cant remember what he looked like before cancer took control, literally have to have photos of him around so that I remember. This song reminds me of my older brother sitting with my dad, reading his bible to him....
Now Im facing the end of my own life. Its quite a perspective, I look forward to the new adventure.....but this song will always make me cry.
Thank you for sharing your love and care for others. Sending you encouragement, strength, and love for healing! Shine on!
These two men were military men, English military men, and the culture generated from both influences are genuinely unique. I don't think anyone but an English man could've penned and performed such a song, or reacted in the way his father did, my utmost respect to both from the island of Ireland
Thank you for this beautiful reaction.
In my experience of losing my parents a month apart after many years of ill health having been their primary carer, being with them at their deathbeds, and then my life partner who died from cancer, you somehow find the strength to do whatever you have to do at the time, but pay the price afterwards.
So glad the video spoke to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you! 🤟❤️🎵🙏
I'm crying. I know the song. But your saying everything I'm going through x thankyou x
What a lovely reaction. It's one which we all share every time we watch the video, I'm sure. I heard that as James and his father were former British military men, James donated all the proceeds from this video to the UK charity 'Help For Heroes' who do so much fantastic work for ex-servicemen and women, and God bless him for that. ❤🙋♂
Thank you! ❤️😎🙏
Watched many reactions to this powerful song, by far and way above all the others, this is by far the best reaction and understanding of the emotions of this song and the strength it took for James Blunt and his father to make.
I’m blessed that my parents are young and I still have my father, but this song makes me SOB every time. I worked as a caregiver for a while, and for a funeral home recently. This song specifically reminds me of loved ones on hospice as well as loved ones with dementia or Alzheimer’s..the line about it’s his turn to chase the monsters away reminds me of the almost infant and childlike fear in memory care patients.
Truly heartbreaking.
I have been my father's full-time caregiver since 2019. I did put my personal care on the back burner until I had a heart attack. Personal care is crucial.
I have seen this video over a hundred times and I cry each time. I love the song, it’s beautiful with such a amazing story. Much respect for both of them for sharing their story.
What a genuinely kind and compassionate man you are. God bless x
It's not just the stress of how you deal with the situation, and what problems, responsibilities, you have, but it's your siblings; how they react, interact, and deal with the situation that affects you. The bigger the family the more difficult the dynamics.
Now you need to watch the video of James performing this song with Iam Tongi on American Idol. Iam was a 17-year-old kid whose father passed away a couple months before he auditioned for the show. This was his audition song and they brought James in to sing it with him live on the show. Iam won the competition that season, and their performance will forever be one of the show's greatest moments. James was so compassionate in the way he got Iam through that performance.
Jim, I had the same reaction as you when the view panned out and his dad showed up in the scene. I was shocked and burst into tears, over the steady tears that were already flowing. I found this song after my mom had passed away from glioblastoma. I felt every word of James. My dad has also passed away so this song gets me every time I watch it - which is countless times by now. I appreciate the gentleness and love James expresses in this song. I feel the same way towards my parents. Thank you for reacting to this song. Thank you for giving words to why this song matters so much to people like me.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad you’re here! 🤟❤️🙏🎵
@@MusicHealsHQ 🥰🤟❤️
His father had a kidney transplant and recovered, but this song remains for everybody who had experienced or is about to experience the loss of a loved one. Absolutely emotional
As the caregiver for my elderly, ill father this song is so relatable. I weep each time I hear it. The anticipatory grief I feel makes me so overwhelmed and anxious especially since my mother is elderly and her partner is going through hospice and I try to help them too. It’s been a rough year. I hear Blunt’s raw, bittersweet emotions and grief and I feel less isolated. A beautiful tribute of a song.
The thing that hits me the hardest is that, as James struggles to get through the song, when he sings "you can feel my hand on your arm", his Dad reaches over and places his hand on James' arm to comfort him. And again, at the very end of the song, he reaches out to comfort James. The roles aren't completely reversed here.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am going through this experience presently myself. It is so exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally that sometimes I wish I was dead but I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to move forward one step at a time with all the support and help that I can get around me. Thank you once again.
Love it that you saw how his father patted his arm at the very end.
Even when he is quasi in the process of dying, he is still the one that chases the monsters away.
The responsibilities are still established, the promise of the sun is to assure that FOR OTHERS he will now see his role to take over responsibility.
About responsibilities, who is actually in control, I found that in me when catamaran sailing with a friend. He was the experienced one.
And I felt even when I am at the tiller, so "officially" are in command, that is not true. It is still him that is in command.
As long as he is there, I will always have an eye on him, watch his reaction. As long as he is relaxed, I do OK, but when I see him stiffen up, long before he says anything, I am doing something wrong, must change something.
Understanding this I knew I would NEVER learn to sail all on my own as long as he is around.
So I went to a sailing club on my own, to break up this ranking. And went out with someone, also a "trainee" for the course that would start, let him sail.
First I did not want to steer, but he insisted. - "here is the tiller". And it worked great.
The spell was broken.
Has nothing to do with this wonderfully heartbraking song, but it is also psychology. The more I understand my own behavior, the easier it is to change myself.
Peculiar and fantastic voice of James Blunt.
We cannot help but be moved by the rawness and composition in terms of music and lyrics.
Each one will search within themselves for similar visceral and exintentional experiences.
It was especially my turn to scare away monsters with my mother's terminal dementia...
I left all my problems frozen and accompanied her the last few months in the only way I knew how, with love and tenderness.
A smile and joy came out of me that I hadn't had in years, she didn't know who she was, but she always smiled at me.
Thanks for your reaction.
The love you shared lives and shines through you! ❤️
For the first time in a reaction video, I wasn't annoyed by the continuous pauses. Everything you shared was very informative and helpful. This has been the best reaction video to date by anyone I have seen. Thank you. 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
The first time I heard this it just gutted me, what a frankly wrenching emotion he wrings from his voice. Beautiful, simply beautiful. Thank you for the analysis of the song and your insights!🫶✌️
I am a great grandfather now and this is the most beautiful and sad song that I have ever heard.... My father passed away on Dec. 7, 2006 while he slept.He had no illnesses. He was laid to rest on his birthday 6 days later. Dad I still miss you so very much.
This is my first time seeing one of your reactions. I subbed as I appreciate your thoughts as a psychotherapist. Music has always been my escape (like meditation) since I was a kid. Now, music, and reaction videos, have been my balm and what has gotten me through the last couple of years. It started with a phone call telling me my brother was in a hit-and-run accident on his motorcycle. He was left on the side of the road. He was in a coma for 3 months. While this was going on, I got a phone call to get to the hospital ASAP, my father-in-law had collapsed. We were too late, and he passed while we were on our way there. Days later, I got the call that my brother passed. One funeral on Monday, the other on Friday. Then my mom became ill as she couldn't handle losing her son, I kept taking her to doctors who kept sending her home. Four months later, I lost my mom. My husband and I were scrambling to take care of his mom and my dad. I had to become my uncle's Power of Attorney at the same time, as he, the patriarch of the family, started to decline. I lost my uncle 7 months ago, and we just lost my mother-in-law a few weeks ago. When you lose loved ones, and you are trying to mourn, the paperwork and legalities can push anyone over the edge. Songs like this one are so powerful, because the songs allow you the moments to sit and cry -- to heal -- to know you are not alone. Avi Kaplan's music has been my favorite go-to, and I hope you check out some of his work.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Love and prayers for strength to you and yours. I’m glad you’re here. 🤟❤️🎵🙏
@@MusicHealsHQ Thank you for your kind words. One day at a time....
Truly a loving tribute to his father. Another song that deals with coping with illness is Jason Isbell's "Elephant." It's one worthy of a look.
I think we as people who love to watch reactors, like to connect sometimes, & showing vulnerability with us, does that......thank you for being real & raw with us, & really appreciate your feedback & analysis 💗💗💗
Absolutely!! I really appreciate your support! 🤟😎🎵🙏
I agree!❤ Love the vulnerability & comments. You just gained a new subscriber!
Well done ! Love love this song, ripped my heart out when I first heard it! I've been through too many deaths...Thank you for sharing this! Very helpful. I know that music heals.. I have ALWAYS thought that! Thank you!
Thanks for shining your light my way. 😊
One thing I hadn't notice before, but now makes the whole song. They are leaning in towards each other slightly, all the way through the song, gaining strength and comfort, to say the things that need saying in the lyrics of the song!
hospice nurse to my father as he passed, my mother passed away 4 days ago - i spend the last 10 years taking care of her after he died... i absolutely know his fear and his joy. my father has been alone for all this time and she's going back to the one she loves. your loved ones are worth your the best spots in your hearts.
I mourned my mother before her death, she died unexpectedly but many months before that I had a feeling of what would I do without her and it was hard for me...She passed 8 years ago and I have felt the pain every day since!
There wasn't a rehersal, and James insisted this video be taken in one shot. Pure love.
I became aware of this song when Iam Tongi sang it during his audition for American Idol (very moving if you haven’t seen it as was the season finale when James Blunt sang with Iam Tongi). Every time I see a video or hear a song on my phone, I tear up and get flooded with memories of the days when my mother was dying in the hospital. Thanks you for sharing your thoughts on this beautiful song and video.
The moment that always gets me is when his dad grabs his arm to comfort him. just a little rub with his thumb
tears every time
At the end of the filming all the crew were in bits and his dad said….”it’s OK, I’m still alive”.
I can't tell you how many times I've watched this video and I cry every time!! He's Amazing! And you must watch Carry you Home, No Bravery, Both relating to his time in the balkans Oh My goodness! Also The Girl that never was.
Enjoyed your commentary. Thanks! I’ve listened to this song dozens of times still can’t get through it without tears. It was so healing to me when my own father passed about a year and a half ago. Especially the lyric “no need to forgive, no need to forget. I know your mistakes and you know mine”. It’s permission to move on from all the mistakes and/or things we wish we had done differently in the relationship, which is such a kind and caring gift to give. In the end, none of that is important.
Thank you so much! I’m really glad to hear about the healing you’re experiencing! Shine on! ❤️🤟🎵🙏
Thank you for what I feel is a very insightful reaction. I think the line that gets to me the most is when he says "...no need to forgive, no need to forget, I know your mistakes and you know mine..." I take it as, no matter what arguments we've had or things we disagree on, right here, right now, none of that matters, I love you.
Unfortunately, I missed the opportunity to have that conversation with my father. While I regret that, I hope that my children will be able to have that conversation with me. (Preferably, many many years from now)
Goodbye My Lover, No Bravery, Carry You Home, and The Girl Who Never Was are other songs of his you should react to as well. You may recognize his voice from the song “You’re Beautiful”. It was a big hit played everywhere.
What ❤brave message ,the video is phenomenal. It’s the message that’s important and how you use it and how everything affects you towards the other person. It’s brilliant ❤
It’s ok to get emotional at this song because we’ve all experienced this or have the fear we will one day so it’s a hugely anxious song for me. I love my dad but he’s in his late 70s and the fear of losing him is so great it causes me panic attacks because The love I have for that man
But he lived! His dad lived through this. And this makes the song even more powerful if that's possible. Word is, after this take was done, everyone was in tears. The entire crew. His dad looked around and asked "Why is everyone crying? I'm still here." If I ever had the chance to talk to him, I would have said something like "Sir, I bow to your courage."
From what I've read james did this in one take , crazy how he didn't break down during the filming .
When my grandma was going to pass away she was not herself anymore. She reacted and said things like she was back in her childhood. She has not noticed anyone in the room and she was under morphine. It has showed me that some monsters from her childhood came back and I tried to calm her like her mother would do.
I am so glad you didn’t stop the video before you say James’ dad pat his arm to comfort him at the end. So many do! That part finishes me off because the father is still trying to comfort the son even though the roles are reversing 😢
I feel like I have some sort of PTSD after taking care of my mother up until her death. She was the best woman I’ve ever known. My best friend. And she fought so hard for so long. And I moved in and nursed her at the end. All the while my step father was being his usual asshole self. I did everything for her, while working remotely and dealing with a chronic pain disorder I have. Then the family imploded after she died. And I kept so much of the horror of her ending to myself to protect my brothers.
I spent a few years after travelling and just running away from myself. I’ve since spent 7 years becoming a recluse and hiding myself away. I only have the energy to take care of the tasks to keep myself alive while dealing with severe constant pain.
So all that along with a lot of trauma from my past… I think I’m pretty shut down. But I’m not depressed per se. I feel content being on my own with my cat.. probably because it’s easy and I’ve always been a lone wolf. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me that I like my own company too much 🤷♀️
Now my father is in stage 4 cancer and I know I’ll be called upon to do his end of life care… I’m dreading it. But it’s what we do for family, even those we aren’t close to.
Thank you for sharing your some of your story. Caring for others can be draining. Please invest in some self-care also. You can find a therapist near you at www.psychologytoday.com
Best to you and yours. 🤟❤️🎵🙏
This song and Stephen Curtis Chapman's Cinderella both get me every time. I can't listen to either without tears.
Apart for the song, I really needed to hear your words, having just gone throught this with my mother. I live with this unbearable guilt that I should have been a better son.
Sending love and prayers to you and yours! Stay strong and shine on! 🤟
I was there for both my Father and Mother. What he is saying is exactly correct. My mental and physical health suffered
I bawled my eyes out for hours after I heard this.
It has been one of my new favourite songs for months. Its a powerful song. I sing it myself and change the lyrics to child, mother and grown ups. I've already lost my dad so I sing it for my mum.
I love your real, raw reaction to this.
Thank you so much for your comment. Sending love and prayers to you and yours. ❤️🎵🤟🙏
Knowing it’s coming is the worst part. I left work the day my father died. He was waiting for my aunt Mary- his older sister, as soon as she got to or our house, I knew he would pass- my boss told me I was crazy for saying he was going to die THAT day, so I walked away from work and picked up my sons in their rollerblades and took the BACK to my mom’s so they could say goodbye… it’s hard, but necessary
James embodies all of Kubler-Ross's stages of grief and impending death. This performance do real, such a vocal struggle but with beauty, grace, anguish and a myriad of other conflicting emotions. The "monsters" need to be chased away so he can handle the possibility of his father leaving too soon. Thank you, James, my 31 yr old daughter left too soon and this helps.
🙏
My mother died suddenly in an accident when I was 30. I wished for anticipatory grief. I wished I could say goodbye. 22 years later my father just turned 89. He’s not even “sick” but the anticipatory grief is crushing. I’m a daughter, not a son, but every time I hear this song I heal a little more.
Thanks for watching and sharing. I’m glad to hear that you’re experiencing the healing power of music! 💪❤️
This helps me too. My Dad is 86 and still pretty darn healthy. But I am already grieving a little- at the same time giving thanks for having him here for this time.
That feeling of helplessness is so real. Both my grandma and my oldest brother are on their deathbeds right now the feeling of mourning someone before they are gone is such a painful and hard to explain emotion.
I’m sincerely sorry to hear that. Sending love and prayers to you and yours! ❤️🤟🎵
You explained everything perfectly and that is making me cry and it took me bk to when my mom was sick and now she's in the other world
Thank you for sharing this. Sending love and prayers your way! 🙏❤️🎵
I've had to experience something similar and very recently. Your analysis is perfect, and it helps me heal, so thank you!
I'm so glad! Thanks for sharing this! ❤️🤟🎵🙏
Thank you for explaining anticipatory grief. I know what I feel but didn't have a term for it. My Daddy was diagnosed with Parkinson's then Lung cancer not too long after. I joined a grief support group but felt like I didn't belong at first because I have not yet gone through his loss. I just felt like I was going through the 5 stages, still am. So thank you for touching on that. 🙏❤️
So glad it helped! Thank you for being here. 😎🤟🎵🙏❤️
i went through this when i was 15 years old, 30 years ago now and it still hurts today as it did then.. i sat at his death bed and told him to have no regrets and i would do my best to make him proud... this song broke me when i first heard it
You are a legacy of strength and courage.
wow! that song came out not long after my father passed. He battled cancer for 4 years and what you said about the child neglecting themself hit me hard. I did suffer a major depression while he was fighting, I just felt like I wasn't doing enough. Very good reaction and loving how you explain things
So glad to hear it was helpful. Thanks for being here. Shine on!
For a bit of insight, when you have end stage renal disease there are many criteria you have to meet to even get on the list for a kidney transplant. His father would have likely been disqualified on age alone. I am so happy they were able to find a live donor. 💚
Also, Ed sheeran supermarket flowers is the one song that get me. It was played at my mums funeral, and again, so real
This was most true of my Maternal grandmother & paternal grandfather.
Alzheimer’s and Dementia divorced them from their timelines & left them longing for those they love, but can no longer recognize. 😢💜