Oh man, this is a touchy subject for me. I went to one of the best boarding schools in India at the age of 10 and stayed there for 5 years. My parents had to put me there because they lived in a rural area and access to great schools wasn't there. The school itself was good, great sports and academic facilities with lovely friends to keep me company. So i don't have a traumatic story in school. But something in me died when i went there. Separation anxiety and abandonment issues. No anchor, no sense of belongingness, no sense of protection - you are on your own, you have to watch out for yourself all the time and that scars you for life. Also it appeared like my parents sort of forgot about me - when i was back home it was always as if i was a guest as if i was an intruder into their and my sisters lives. I never really went back home after that because it was from there to a university and then to a different city for work. Im grown up, married with kids, very successful too but i still yearn to be with my parents, i wish i could be close to them, i try so hard to make up for lost time but it looks like they have moved on. Even today i don't know where i belong, where i come from, who my people are. A child needs a secure upbringing, not a good school. Do your best people and keep your kids close when they are growing up.
Sorry beg to differ dear.. Mine is an exactly opposite story of yours dear. I and my husband who was working for state governments and having 3 kids were staying in an again a rural area similar like you.. But as our elder son entered into 8th std we thought of relocating to a bigger city for the betterment of the kids education and hence moved out. But eventually my husband had to leave his such a lucrative job and we both started working day in and day out trying to set up some business which failed.. But we kept struggling and some how managed to do some other business and keep the things comfortable for the growing children at home with their ever growing needs and demands.. But when the eldest one after finishing his studies kicked us and moved out for some girl made us traumatised.. And then the second one too went to do his degree in a hostel and finishing moved to some different city and now abroad.. And he is telling us that we are not their responsibility and as they want to live a tension free life hence don't even want us to stay with either of them and that we can go to senior citizens home.. Now obviously after the 2 elder siblings doing all this has lured and some how made the 3rd child understand that even they have to move out and nothing is wrong in it.. As we have moved to other state from where I belonged to, which has not very harsh climatic conditions hence we cannot move to my husbands state back at this age.. And we are left deserted by our own kids in another state with such answers as to we Indians raise kids thinking that we are their assets or insurance instead of thinking that we are their liabilities. So who is to blame for this..
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have lived with my parents and in my case I can fight with a Lion, no adversary ever breaks me.Parents love makes you so strong and gives depth to your personality which you relish despite the hurdles in life
I went to a boarding school from age 9...,My uncle was a pilot and we ( me and my younger brother)were taken care by the maid. As our parents passed away it made sense for my uncle to send us to a boarding school... but I always wondered why the other children were in boarding school... Thankfully my boarding school was a very relaxed place...maybe more relaxed than home.... Ooty was a lovely place..we spent a lot of time in the forest... hiking....I have absolutely no bitterness... infact boarding school has made me very clear in my thoughts and maybe sometimes even zen like... My friends in Mumbai always said I was very independent but being independent is sometimes not an option....my situation was very different so I guess I am not a representative of the larger group.. The school is called blue mountain school in Ooty...it's possibly the most relaxed and easy going school ever...
It's a blessing and privilege for both parents and children to be in each other's company and feel each other's vibrations. Infact, children should grow by imbibing the way parents love and take care of each other and manage home activities for them to follow. Let parents lead by good example for generations to follow. That's the best gift parent's can pass on to their kids to blossom to its fullest...
never welcomed home when came from hostel.kind of stranger at home .my brother become holly solly and treated us stranger. finding my home after spending 10-12 years of hard work.feeling of stranger at home hurts till now and now i feel i didnot have no home
You are right . The sick days are hardest for a kid . A warm caring person around like mother, father or grandparents can ease those days like no one else. Those weak days of sickness of someone around you bring a simple meal and checks upon the kids it leaves a lasting impact on growing mind. Staff at boarding school how good they are but they can’t give that love from home which is special even in its most poor form.
I am a retired professor from DU. HAVE always been deadly against sending children ti boarding school unless there is a very compelling reason to send them. All your views are very practical in this regard.
Great perspect sir. Only victim can understand it. In my case I was separated at 11 years by sending at bording school. I was physically very weak (weight around 20 kg) for which I suffered a lot. This was so traumatic for me. Later on it resulted Cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder).
Hello,I work in Dubai and family in Delhi,for some time I was thinking putting my two kids in boarding and getting wife to stay with me,but after watching this I came to know I was thinking about myself,I think these things were in my mind also but now get complete clarity,will work on getting the whole family here or at least kids will stay with my wife with all the pamperness and love.Thankyou sir,keep growing God bless you.
Sir you should do a video on learning disability, adhd, aspergers, autism etc, which affect family. These are not diseases that are life threatening but need to be managed and families should educate themselves on how to manage and also its implications on family life. This is one of the most unspoken topics in Indian society.
Namaskaram sir. I have two children, a boy and a girl. We live in a district headquarter. Both of them studied engineering there itself and got settled in a good company with handsome salary. I am very happy that I was with them throughout their studies. I had followed whatever you have said now. You are a number one clarity giver in all respects.
Completely agree with your views Sango Sir...what parents can teach...no one in world can and that does not mean physics, maths!...it is about what is important in life and what is not...parents are 'role model' for children...
I am totally in sync with your thought process. A child always needs his parents at every stage of his life. Closer you are to your child and vice a versa , is good for both the parties!
You are absolutely true as same thing happened with my husband and I see he is not as much connected to his parents as I am with mine. I used to think and try to find the reason but you made it very clear. As you said he pampers our daughter a lot and becomes possessive sometimes
Totally agree with you sir. Don't want to send my son(14 years) but facing different issue though.Being strict is not working with him. I handled him with all my love but not able to raise him the way I want. Video games is everything he wants to play all the time.Becoz of his this behavior we made our mind to send him to hostel. But i will rethink about this after watching your video.But i feel helpless sometimes as he doesn't listen to us. Please guide us on this if possible. Thank you🙏🙏
Instead of telling him don't play video game, show him other options - take him to sports etc. As such playing an hour of videogame a day is not a bad thing
I was 7 years old when i gone to hostel and live 8 years in hostel . It was bad experienced to me . Everything told by him in this video is absolutely right.
i went bording school when i was 10 it taught me everything most of all living by myself from an early age it's weird to say but i didn't cried or missed my family or anyone as much as like others but the hostel life was best for me.
Thanks a lot . This help me a lot. I was thinking to send my son in hostel but you changed my decision. I am clear now that I will not send him in hostel. 😊 I am so thankful that you save me from taking wrong decision for my Son.
My relatives son is very sensitive child but also very adamant argumentative, types ,his parents have been telling him that you will be sent to hostel, just 11 year old he is and he said : yes I will go, I will be quiet but internally dead. After that they have stopped threatening him.
I will never send my kids...as i am also sufferer. I went extremely introvert with confidence level very low...after going to hostel with great school of our time...career wise im successful...but there is lot of emptiness beneath inside...
Such a nice , different and original advice on a old age belief system.Really nice to see ,that you challenge and question deep rooted beliefs of the society.👏
Very much agree here but i think its not bad to stay away from home in university time. Good for development and also parents get used to gradually. Otherwise its very difficult for child and parents when they get separated immediately after maaraige of child
I find most of people staying in hostel r doing sex, parties n using abusive language. I don't see people developing anything really worthy to make their character strong but on contrary start looking down at people of their own class . It applies for both girls n boys. Some exceptions r there ofcourse but still I find these people acting extrovert but zero understanding of how to interact with other person who has no show off life style like theirs . Zero societal values n respectful way of interacting with opposite sex. I really admire how honesty my parents both mother n father invested so much time in us. Although I hav some complaints with them but that's OK.
Sir, this was very useful for me as I was thinking about sending my son to hostel as he is not studying well. But now I will not send. I was also in hostel during my PUC and degree and always upset as the food was very bad and used to cry about the same.
Just a suggestion...pls don't mind, if your son is not good in studies, pls get child counseling done for him, it will help you and him to find the reason. They give expert advice.
A friend of mine lives in US and her husband wanted to send their 12 year old daughter to boarding school in India as he had studied in Navodaya and he did not like the studies in US. She tried to explain the same points to him with no luck. Finally they did not end up sending the kid due to some reasons but she had to go through a lot of trauma due to all this.
No networking really happens during school years, it all starts maybe at college level because without absence of selfishness there's no thoughts of networking. No children or person would be selfish at that age. The only network they make/find is their cellular network or school crush network.
Great video, but I don't completely agree with you. Yes, you should absolutely send the kid to a boarding school. I have seen several examples where the kids were away for a long period of time and they DIDN'T have any abandonment issues. A child's self esteem grows in the first 8 years of his/her life and parents of responsible for it. And a vast majority of parents themselves lack self esteem, so what are the chances that their kid would have a high self esteem? Let me tell why you should send the kid a GOOD or GREAT boarding school. -> They live a regimented life, instilling them values such has hard physical work, teamwork, dealing with other personalities, negotiating for themselves, etc. These values cannot be learned staying at home with parents. Parents mein khud yeh sab qualities nahi hongi. -> In boarding school, they are actually governed by people who are more disciplined than these kid's parents. And young kids don't listen to their elders much, they only follow what they see, so it is better that they see discipline. -> A good or great boarding school also teaches some form of martial arts for self defense. This is absolutely a great skill to have if you want to be a good man. Why? Because a good man is always dangerous, but keeps it under control. Thank you for reading
I have the same opinion... I have seen my 5 sisters without abondenment issues who went to boarding school.. But i feel that we should also consider personality type of kid.... Some kid personality type are more family oriented, who may have these issues talked about in video.. Some types are carefree, more extrovert naturally will enjoy the boarding life... May be a middle ground, a balanced approach will be that the kid will be sent for 2 years to boarding and then a decision is taken to continue or not
Sahi kaha aapne Guruji Mein bhi Graduation ke liye Mumbai se Pune padne ke liye Hostel me rehta tha Jab mein gaya tha tab mein 80 kg ka vegetarian bohot strong bodybuilder tha mein ek hath mein 20 kg dumbbell utha leta tha, jaise hi mein Hostel gaya itna ganda khana tha har jagah ki meri body 14 kg weight loss ho gayi mein skinny ban gaya meri extreme power ne sath chodh diya. Aur Pune mein ye har jagah ye kehana tha jo Mess ka khana khate hai vo log Jehar bhi pacha lenge kyunki khana hi Jehar ki tarah low quality ka rehta hai mein ghar pe 3 roti khate hi pet bharta tha lekin Hostel me itni patli rotiya 6-7 roti khana padta tha body maintain karne ke liye jis karan se body building chod di sharam ke mare jyada tar bache 4 se jyada roti nahi khate the aur bhi bohot problem hoti hai jinme mein problem waha locals apni dada giri karte hai tum bahar se aaye ho hum yaha ke hain mere ek sibling ka JHAGDA HUA TO USKO BOHOT BURI TARIKE SE GROUP NE EK AKELE KO BOHOT JYADA PITA Pune me vo bhi padne aaya tha lekin uska dusre clg mein naam Aya tha uska locals Marathis ke sath jhagda ho gaya tha vo Group banake marte hai vaha par local bache hamesha group me rehte hai. aur fir parents ki baat karte hai 2000rs rent tha baki ke bache paise se college Jana aur assignment etc ka kharach hota hai Mess mein paise nahi bachte the jyada tar ladke yahi sochte the ghar se jyada paise nahi mangane hai jis karan hum kam khate ya savings pe jyada focus karte the. Parents sochte hai 5-6 hazar mein chal Jana chahiye ek akela insan ko kitna lagta hai paisa vagera vagera ab 20 ki umra mein ladko ko magne mein sharam aati hai ye parents ko samaj nahi aata aur middle class bache jo na nasha karte nahi aur kuch aisa karne ke bavajud Parents se yahi suna padta tha beta kharacha bohot ho raha hai itna ghusa aata tha itne sacrifice karne baad bhi Parents hamesha yahi kehte the akele insaan ke liye bohot kharcha ho raha hai.
Bachha ka confidence weak bhi ho jata hai. Long term health affect hoti hai. Khel kood ,PT /running bahut hoti hai par diet individual ke anukul nahi milti to body weak develop ho sakti hai.
1. School should be good. If it's not there in your town you have to send them to hostel in other city. 2. School is not only for book learning. Co curricular activities are very important. If your town has nothing to teach your children other than books then you have to send them to hostel in other towns where they provide other activities. 3. If you are educated and can teach your children at home it's ok. If not send them to school with hostel where great teachers can teach them. It depends on your condition. There is nothing as good or bad in this case. And for the emotional attachment part it depends on individuals. Parents and children are also individuals with different characters. So even if they stay together for ever or only meet few months every year the relationship and attachments can be weak or strong depending on the individuals. It has nothing to do with staying together or far away.
Uncle ji you are really awesome getting to the nerves of issues of people of country. I want to spend all the movements with my kid and want to see him growing. These are the beautiful day where i will see him growing once after he reach graduation then job then marriage he will be in different zone thus as a parents we should enjoy these growing years with our kids. Please be our Health and Welfare minister you really aware about peoples issues.
Namaste uncle ji You really bring relevant n unique topics which are not being discussed I also feel the same that kids should not be sent to hostel, but then why in our sanatan dharm, Gurukul system was so popular. Kindly share your views on this.
Not everyone was going to Gurukul and the benefits of it are debatable. Pandavs and kauravas went to gurukul and in the end Mahabharat happened. But there has always been boarding school, there are boarding schools and there will be boarding schools. But I also feel like it’s better to stay with family when we are young cause ultimately life separates us from them in future for job and other reasons. That’s what I think 🤔
Gurukul has all your cousins brothers and other children of the family. And it was under one family the guru and his wife..who looked after children like their own kids. not under wardens and gate keepers who have no feeling for you
My son is 4 year old...I start thinking should I send him to sainik school famous for discipline. But after listening you and reading comments..I change my mind ..I will make him strong but keep him near me
sir maine aapki sirf ek video dekhi thi uske baad aapki videos ke thumbnail hi aise aate hai jaise aap mere liye hi video bana rahe h. Thank You Very Much sir for making such videos....... You & Your videos are savings so many lifes.
I had friends who were brought up in hostel they had farms in remote area with not that great schools. They had safety risk for the kids as well as kidnappings were high in there area.
Boarding school child will never be able to develop bonding with parents and in subsequent relationships. Depth in personality will be missing, they will be be very shallow and materialistic.
Went to boarding school at 8. Can relate 💯.Aur ha not 36. Bahut pehle started questioning everything.Relationships are no good but surviving.seh lenge thoda.
Sir ye kehna galat nahi hoga ki aap Genius ho aur kamal ka topic aapne chuna aur bahut acchi learning d growing hai aapke sath.Sikhna to bhar bhar ke hai Sir.
Boarding school picture has been sold to us in such a way that we will find it as a life changing opportunity. There are/ will be hundreds of kids succeeding in later life while staying with their parents during school days. It's just a vibe running in society with parents to look cool, sacrificing and bold in their peers. In reality they have their own hidden agenda like lack of ownership, sacred towards responsibility and most common lazy or lethargic. Kon PTM me jaye, phir picnic pe lejao, ghumane lejao, birthday celebration Karo. We all are devmanoos let's dump this abodh pulips to these places like bording school and we will say if they ask tere future ke liye kiya thaa. Kisi ko kuch pata nahi chalega...if Indians are that much futuristic they would have made millions in stocks or something...
Taare zameen par dekhlo,kaise maa baapa bhejte hai boarding schools me,kitne time harassment,moral policing,over strictness,ragging hota hai koi nahi hai save karne ko har time waha
Before plus 2 people should avoid sending children to hostel. I was lucky my father took this stand despite all the peer presure. He strictly took a stand to not send me to hostel before plus two
Sir aap ke topics bhot kamal ke hote hai.🤗🤗 Mtlb intezar rehta hai hmesha next ka. Sir one humble request please try to make one vedio on 1 no series also.🙏🙏 THANKU
Sir due to my husband transferable job now we r staying in district place...here I seen almost 90 percente parents send their children's in hostel at age of 8 and 10...yaha ek ded lakh me hostel ho jata hai so unki yeh thinking h ki hostel me bacche h to Ghar me taam jham b nahi....they willingly send children's in hostel....n vohi bacche jab holidays me Ghar aate hai to unko kaam jyada ho jata hai to fir they r waiting ki kab Inka school college start ho jaye...
My daughter is in a boarding school. She wanted to study there...with all the small challenges..she is very happy there. In fact, her talents were more recognized there then when she was with us. Not only that her grades also improved. When she was with us...they were all the time with tablet or mobile. Now she is making good use of her time. They have one month holidays in December and 2 complete months of holidays in May - June. Apart from there we have 2 days visit home. It's like more of quality time over quantity
I completely agree with this, if a parent chooses a good boarding school, it can be much better for the child, just because of the humongous exposure which would be impossible to be given to the children anywhere (except delhi maybe), for eg, state of the art sporting arenas, high quality Coaches, Musical instruments like violin etc, High quality Debating Groups, Fine arts and many more things. I myself was in a a boarding school right from class 8, and there is no bitterness between me and my parents, rather inam grateful for the whole time i was in hostel, which is 8th-12th. And i can completely resonate with your experience for your child.
@@friendlyvimana you are coming from confirmation bias . What worked for you may not work for others . And you also will not realize what you have missed . Like I have lived with my parents during schooling so it was easier for me . We don't know and experience what we miss
@@rishusharma7514 we can actually know what the school has to offer and what is it that a family can not offer even if they are resourceful and intend to give everything they can. And if you have chosen a upper strata boarding school for your kids, like sainik schools for lower middle class backgrounds, yiu can actually see your childcs personality get cut into a diamond while being the person he always was. Qualities like discipline, are just the starting points of a discussion, there's so much more a child inculcates.
Try to add subtitles to your video while uploading video it shows that facility so people who are from other language can understand at least in english
Sir aapnye bahot hi Sachhi baat batai but sir my son is going to 11th grade now I was thinking muzye hostel bheja na padega ku ki mere husband ko alcohol aadat hai aur ye bachte w liye achaa nahi .. aise atmosphere o kaise padhai karega ..abhi aap muzye batai muzye kya decision lena chahiye ..?
sir aapki is ek video se kamse kam 100-200 baccho ka jeewan sudhar jaayega.. mene aapke comments padhe to aisa lag raha
No
Oh man, this is a touchy subject for me. I went to one of the best boarding schools in India at the age of 10 and stayed there for 5 years. My parents had to put me there because they lived in a rural area and access to great schools wasn't there. The school itself was good, great sports and academic facilities with lovely friends to keep me company. So i don't have a traumatic story in school. But something in me died when i went there. Separation anxiety and abandonment issues. No anchor, no sense of belongingness, no sense of protection - you are on your own, you have to watch out for yourself all the time and that scars you for life. Also it appeared like my parents sort of forgot about me - when i was back home it was always as if i was a guest as if i was an intruder into their and my sisters lives. I never really went back home after that because it was from there to a university and then to a different city for work. Im grown up, married with kids, very successful too but i still yearn to be with my parents, i wish i could be close to them, i try so hard to make up for lost time but it looks like they have moved on. Even today i don't know where i belong, where i come from, who my people are. A child needs a secure upbringing, not a good school. Do your best people and keep your kids close when they are growing up.
Sometimes parents should get themselves kingfisher strong instead of having their kids strong. No hard feelings YOLO...
Somewhat same experience of mine too...
Wow. That was an touching experience man. I hope you find peace bro.
Sorry beg to differ dear..
Mine is an exactly opposite story of yours dear.
I and my husband who was working for state governments and having 3 kids were staying in an again a rural area similar like you..
But as our elder son entered into 8th std we thought of relocating to a bigger city for the betterment of the kids education and hence moved out. But eventually my husband had to leave his such a lucrative job and we both started working day in and day out trying to set up some business which failed..
But we kept struggling and some how managed to do some other business and keep the things comfortable for the growing children at home with their ever growing needs and demands..
But when the eldest one after finishing his studies kicked us and moved out for some girl made us traumatised..
And then the second one too went to do his degree in a hostel and finishing moved to some different city and now abroad.. And he is telling us that we are not their responsibility and as they want to live a tension free life hence don't even want us to stay with either of them and that we can go to senior citizens home..
Now obviously after the 2 elder siblings doing all this has lured and some how made the 3rd child understand that even they have to move out and nothing is wrong in it..
As we have moved to other state from where I belonged to, which has not very harsh climatic conditions hence we cannot move to my husbands state back at this age..
And we are left deserted by our own kids in another state with such answers as to we Indians raise kids thinking that we are their assets or insurance instead of thinking that we are their liabilities.
So who is to blame for this..
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have lived with my parents and in my case I can fight with a Lion, no adversary ever breaks me.Parents love makes you so strong and gives depth to your personality which you relish despite the hurdles in life
I went to a boarding school from age 9...,My uncle was a pilot and we ( me and my younger brother)were taken care by the maid. As our parents passed away it made sense for my uncle to send us to a boarding school... but I always wondered why the other children were in boarding school... Thankfully my boarding school was a very relaxed place...maybe more relaxed than home.... Ooty was a lovely place..we spent a lot of time in the forest... hiking....I have absolutely no bitterness... infact boarding school has made me very clear in my thoughts and maybe sometimes even zen like... My friends in Mumbai always said I was very independent but being independent is sometimes not an option....my situation was very different so I guess I am not a representative of the larger group.. The school is called blue mountain school in Ooty...it's possibly the most relaxed and easy going school ever...
But good part you are not in negative path.... really happy with to read your message, atleast had a happy time in boarding...
Hey, are you from Good Shepherd's?
No.. The Blue Mountains School in Ooty ..We use to play football matches with Good Shepherds school...
Ok
It's a blessing and privilege for both parents and children to be in each other's company and feel each other's vibrations. Infact, children should grow by imbibing the way parents love and take care of each other and manage home activities for them to follow. Let parents lead by good example for generations to follow. That's the best gift parent's can pass on to their kids to blossom to its fullest...
never welcomed home when came from hostel.kind of stranger at home .my brother become holly solly and treated us stranger. finding my home after spending 10-12 years of hard work.feeling of stranger at home hurts till now and now i feel i didnot have no home
Thank you sir for shedding light on this topic . I saw children as young as 5 years old were in my boarding school
You are right . The sick days are hardest for a kid . A warm caring person around like mother, father or grandparents can ease those days like no one else. Those weak days of sickness of someone around you bring a simple meal and checks upon the kids it leaves a lasting impact on growing mind. Staff at boarding school how good they are but they can’t give that love from home which is special even in its most poor form.
I am a retired professor from DU. HAVE always been deadly against sending children ti boarding school unless there is a very compelling reason to send them. All your views are very practical in this regard.
Great perspect sir. Only victim can understand it. In my case I was separated at 11 years by sending at bording school. I was physically very weak (weight around 20 kg) for which I suffered a lot. This was so traumatic for me. Later on it resulted Cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder).
Hello,I work in Dubai and family in Delhi,for some time I was thinking putting my two kids in boarding and getting wife to stay with me,but after watching this I came to know I was thinking about myself,I think these things were in my mind also but now get complete clarity,will work on getting the whole family here or at least kids will stay with my wife with all the pamperness and love.Thankyou sir,keep growing God bless you.
Sir you should do a video on learning disability, adhd, aspergers, autism etc, which affect family. These are not diseases that are life threatening but need to be managed and families should educate themselves on how to manage and also its implications on family life. This is one of the most unspoken topics in Indian society.
That 36 yr funda is sooo true…m 37 and felt the same as u said..got clarity about so many things that opened my eyes.
MAG sir g as always true clarity giver and with realistic approach to life. God bless ur soul doing great job for the community
Namaskaram sir.
I have two children, a boy and a girl.
We live in a district headquarter.
Both of them studied engineering there itself and got settled in a good company with handsome salary. I am very happy that I was with them throughout their studies.
I had followed whatever you have said now.
You are a number one clarity giver in all respects.
Completely agree with your views Sango Sir...what parents can teach...no one in world can and that does not mean physics, maths!...it is about what is important in life and what is not...parents are 'role model' for children...
Kya badiya mindset hai apka, you're my gaurdian angel ❤️
I am totally in sync with your thought process. A child always needs his parents at every stage of his life. Closer you are to your child and vice a versa , is good for both the parties!
You are absolutely true as same thing happened with my husband and I see he is not as much connected to his parents as I am with mine. I used to think and try to find the reason but you made it very clear. As you said he pampers our daughter a lot and becomes possessive sometimes
Totally agree with you sir. Don't want to send my son(14 years) but facing different issue though.Being strict is not working with him. I handled him with all my love but not able to raise him the way I want. Video games is everything he wants to play all the time.Becoz of his this behavior we made our mind to send him to hostel. But i will rethink about this after watching your video.But i feel helpless sometimes as he doesn't listen to us. Please guide us on this if possible. Thank you🙏🙏
Don’t send him to hostel.. he may develop hate towards u .. try to take some consultation
Video game khelne do. Kya pata usme lakho kama le. Uska bhi aajkal competition hota hai aur lakho kamaya ja sakta hai
Instead of telling him don't play video game, show him other options - take him to sports etc. As such playing an hour of videogame a day is not a bad thing
Please enroll him in sports and music classes on daily basis. Yes money will be spent but worth it.
I was 7 years old when i gone to hostel and live 8 years in hostel . It was bad experienced to me . Everything told by him in this video is absolutely right.
i went bording school when i was 10 it taught me everything most of all living by myself from an early age it's weird to say but i didn't cried or missed my family or anyone as much as like others but the hostel life was best for me.
Thanks a lot . This help me a lot. I was thinking to send my son in hostel but you changed my decision. I am clear now that I will not send him in hostel. 😊 I am so thankful that you save me from taking wrong decision for my Son.
Was sent to boarding school when I was 11 for 5 years. Hated it and also lost my emotional connection with my parents forever.
My relatives son is very sensitive child but also very adamant argumentative, types ,his parents have been telling him that you will be sent to hostel, just 11 year old he is and he said : yes I will go, I will be quiet but internally dead.
After that they have stopped threatening him.
True
I will never send my kids...as i am also sufferer. I went extremely introvert with confidence level very low...after going to hostel with great school of our time...career wise im successful...but there is lot of emptiness beneath inside...
Such a nice , different and original advice on a old age belief system.Really nice to see ,that you challenge and question deep rooted beliefs of the society.👏
Very much agree here but i think its not bad to stay away from home in university time. Good for development and also parents get used to gradually. Otherwise its very difficult for child and parents when they get separated immediately after maaraige of child
36 ki age se clarity aana shuru ho jaati hai -42 tak poori aa jaati hai 🎯
My buaji were in hostel and was not close to my father. No attachment with family. Even my buaji didn't come when my grandfather expired.
I find most of people staying in hostel r doing sex, parties n using abusive language. I don't see people developing anything really worthy to make their character strong but on contrary start looking down at people of their own class . It applies for both girls n boys. Some exceptions r there ofcourse but still I find these people acting extrovert but zero understanding of how to interact with other person who has no show off life style like theirs . Zero societal values n respectful way of interacting with opposite sex.
I really admire how honesty my parents both mother n father invested so much time in us. Although I hav some complaints with them but that's OK.
Nice thinking. Kids should get attention from the parents. Childhood is a gift. We should enjoy the journey of childhood in the company of parents.
Sir, this was very useful for me as I was thinking about sending my son to hostel as he is not studying well. But now I will not send. I was also in hostel during my PUC and degree and always upset as the food was very bad and used to cry about the same.
Just a suggestion...pls don't mind, if your son is not good in studies, pls get child counseling done for him, it will help you and him to find the reason. They give expert advice.
A friend of mine lives in US and her husband wanted to send their 12 year old daughter to boarding school in India as he had studied in Navodaya and he did not like the studies in US. She tried to explain the same points to him with no luck. Finally they did not end up sending the kid due to some reasons but she had to go through a lot of trauma due to all this.
Parents who are sending kidz to boardings ( specially upper strata / high income group of society ) mostly for networking with same class .
No networking really happens during school years, it all starts maybe at college level because without absence of selfishness there's no thoughts of networking. No children or person would be selfish at that age. The only network they make/find is their cellular network or school crush network.
Great video, but I don't completely agree with you.
Yes, you should absolutely send the kid to a boarding school. I have seen several examples where the kids were away for a long period of time and they DIDN'T have any abandonment issues. A child's self esteem grows in the first 8 years of his/her life and parents of responsible for it. And a vast majority of parents themselves lack self esteem, so what are the chances that their kid would have a high self esteem?
Let me tell why you should send the kid a GOOD or GREAT boarding school.
-> They live a regimented life, instilling them values such has hard physical work, teamwork, dealing with other personalities, negotiating for themselves, etc. These values cannot be learned staying at home with parents. Parents mein khud yeh sab qualities nahi hongi.
-> In boarding school, they are actually governed by people who are more disciplined than these kid's parents. And young kids don't listen to their elders much, they only follow what they see, so it is better that they see discipline.
-> A good or great boarding school also teaches some form of martial arts for self defense. This is absolutely a great skill to have if you want to be a good man. Why? Because a good man is always dangerous, but keeps it under control.
Thank you for reading
You said everything i wanted to say, thanks.
Discipline is overrated.
@@doncorleone3901 yeah sure kid. Tell that to any successful person, be it athlete or businessman. Without discipline, you're just a bi*ch.
I have the same opinion...
I have seen my 5 sisters without abondenment issues who went to boarding school..
But i feel that we should also consider personality type of kid.... Some kid personality type are more family oriented, who may have these issues talked about in video.. Some types are carefree, more extrovert naturally will enjoy the boarding life...
May be a middle ground, a balanced approach will be that the kid will be sent for 2 years to boarding and then a decision is taken to continue or not
U didnt see does not mean they dont have abandonment issues
Sahi kaha aapne Guruji Mein bhi Graduation ke liye Mumbai se Pune padne ke liye Hostel me rehta tha Jab mein gaya tha tab mein 80 kg ka vegetarian bohot strong bodybuilder tha mein ek hath mein 20 kg dumbbell utha leta tha, jaise hi mein Hostel gaya itna ganda khana tha har jagah ki meri body 14 kg weight loss ho gayi mein skinny ban gaya meri extreme power ne sath chodh diya. Aur Pune mein ye har jagah ye kehana tha jo Mess ka khana khate hai vo log Jehar bhi pacha lenge kyunki khana hi Jehar ki tarah low quality ka rehta hai mein ghar pe 3 roti khate hi pet bharta tha lekin Hostel me itni patli rotiya 6-7 roti khana padta tha body maintain karne ke liye jis karan se body building chod di sharam ke mare jyada tar bache 4 se jyada roti nahi khate the
aur bhi bohot problem hoti hai jinme mein problem waha locals apni dada giri karte hai tum bahar se aaye ho hum yaha ke hain mere ek sibling ka JHAGDA HUA TO USKO BOHOT BURI TARIKE SE GROUP NE EK AKELE KO BOHOT JYADA PITA Pune me vo bhi padne aaya tha lekin uska dusre clg mein naam Aya tha uska locals Marathis ke sath jhagda ho gaya tha vo Group banake marte hai vaha par local bache hamesha group me rehte hai.
aur fir parents ki baat karte hai 2000rs rent tha baki ke bache paise se college Jana aur assignment etc ka kharach hota hai Mess mein paise nahi bachte the jyada tar ladke yahi sochte the ghar se jyada paise nahi mangane hai jis karan hum kam khate ya savings pe jyada focus karte the. Parents sochte hai 5-6 hazar mein chal Jana chahiye ek akela insan ko kitna lagta hai paisa vagera vagera ab 20 ki umra mein ladko ko magne mein sharam aati hai ye parents ko samaj nahi aata aur middle class bache jo na nasha karte nahi aur kuch aisa karne ke bavajud Parents se yahi suna padta tha beta kharacha bohot ho raha hai itna ghusa aata tha itne sacrifice karne baad bhi Parents hamesha yahi kehte the akele insaan ke liye bohot kharcha ho raha hai.
You are.right.one of my cousin became very silent and introvert after hostel life.
Completely agree except in extreme situations of parents not being there in world or extremely stressful jobs or toxic environments parents live in.
I went to boarding school at age 10 n return to home at age 18....i missed the life outside of well..
Bachha ka confidence weak bhi ho jata hai. Long term health affect hoti hai.
Khel kood ,PT /running bahut hoti hai par diet individual ke anukul nahi milti to body weak develop ho sakti hai.
Thank You Sir for this clearly.
1. School should be good. If it's not there in your town you have to send them to hostel in other city.
2. School is not only for book learning. Co curricular activities are very important. If your town has nothing to teach your children other than books then you have to send them to hostel in other towns where they provide other activities.
3. If you are educated and can teach your children at home it's ok. If not send them to school with hostel where great teachers can teach them.
It depends on your condition. There is nothing as good or bad in this case.
And for the emotional attachment part it depends on individuals. Parents and children are also individuals with different characters. So even if they stay together for ever or only meet few months every year the relationship and attachments can be weak or strong depending on the individuals. It has nothing to do with staying together or far away.
I agree 100%, Hope parents will see this video and life of many children will be saved because of this video
I promise i be with my childrens....thnx sir....u made me very clear...
Uncle ji you are really awesome getting to the nerves of issues of people of country. I want to spend all the movements with my kid and want to see him growing. These are the beautiful day where i will see him growing once after he reach graduation then job then marriage he will be in different zone thus as a parents we should enjoy these growing years with our kids. Please be our Health and Welfare minister you really aware about peoples issues.
Namaste uncle ji
You really bring relevant n unique topics which are not being discussed
I also feel the same that kids should not be sent to hostel, but then why in our sanatan dharm, Gurukul system was so popular. Kindly share your views on this.
Not everyone was going to Gurukul and the benefits of it are debatable. Pandavs and kauravas went to gurukul and in the end Mahabharat happened.
But there has always been boarding school, there are boarding schools and there will be boarding schools. But I also feel like it’s better to stay with family when we are young cause ultimately life separates us from them in future for job and other reasons. That’s what I think 🤔
Gurukul has all your cousins brothers and other children of the family. And it was under one family the guru and his wife..who looked after children like their own kids. not under wardens and gate keepers who have no feeling for you
Very good clarity... Thanks you from deepest of my heart ❤️
My son is 4 year old...I start thinking should I send him to sainik school famous for discipline.
But after listening you and reading comments..I change my mind ..I will make him strong but keep him near me
Sorry not judging u but 4 years is too small..emotional development is more important than discipline .. you can team him discipline at Home too..
I was thinking in future I will send . Not at 4.
But won't now.
Long time request: how can we nurture a 2 child family where both parents are working?
Should the lady leave her job for some time?
Loved your perspective sir ❤️
Keep Motivating and Guiding Sir Really 🙏 Feeling positive After joining Ur group
Very well explained 👏.
This is very relevant and your advice is very sound and helpful. The clarity is eye opening 👏👏
sir maine aapki sirf ek video dekhi thi uske baad aapki videos ke thumbnail hi aise aate hai jaise aap mere liye hi video bana rahe h. Thank You Very Much sir for making such videos....... You & Your videos are savings so many lifes.
I had friends who were brought up in hostel they had farms in remote area with not that great schools. They had safety risk for the kids as well as kidnappings were high in there area.
Sir can you make a video on how to raise a child. What parents need to do. How to make them good person.
Boarding school child will never be able to develop bonding with parents and in subsequent relationships. Depth in personality will be missing, they will be be very shallow and materialistic.
Also discuss about sending kid for a short time of 1-3 years to teach discipline and make them realise the value of home. What’s your opinion?
Went to boarding school at 8. Can relate 💯.Aur ha not 36. Bahut pehle started questioning everything.Relationships are no good but surviving.seh lenge thoda.
Sir Your Every video is heart Touched..
Sir ye kehna galat nahi hoga ki aap Genius ho aur kamal ka topic aapne chuna aur bahut acchi learning d growing hai aapke sath.Sikhna to bhar bhar ke hai Sir.
Sir nice video..I agree with you..
Sir please make a video for 11 standard students..Which stream is good for future..
Ur topics are very genuine sir..i like ur way of speaking..today's topic is also very impressive....
In most hostels you will only find guys getting drunk, smoking cigarettes and doing drugs........ And it's a trend in IIT's and IIM's as well
Boarding school picture has been sold to us in such a way that we will find it as a life changing opportunity.
There are/ will be hundreds of kids succeeding in later life while staying with their parents during school days.
It's just a vibe running in society with parents to look cool, sacrificing and bold in their peers. In reality they have their own hidden agenda like lack of ownership, sacred towards responsibility and most common lazy or lethargic. Kon PTM me jaye, phir picnic pe lejao, ghumane lejao, birthday celebration Karo. We all are devmanoos let's dump this abodh pulips to these places like bording school and we will say if they ask tere future ke liye kiya thaa. Kisi ko kuch pata nahi chalega...if Indians are that much futuristic they would have made millions in stocks or something...
Mere pati k mtlb 2 saal pade hai akal aane ko 😂😂😂😂😂
Thanks a ton respected uncle ji for making vedio on my request
Now I can forward your vedio to my husband 😀
Very thoughtful video. keep it up sir jee. You are bringing much-needed guidance to a middle-class life.
Taare zameen par dekhlo,kaise maa baapa bhejte hai boarding schools me,kitne time harassment,moral policing,over strictness,ragging hota hai koi nahi hai save karne ko har time waha
Before plus 2 people should avoid sending children to hostel. I was lucky my father took this stand despite all the peer presure. He strictly took a stand to not send me to hostel before plus two
Agree, but after standard 12th it's good.
Bilkul sahi bola apney.I totally agree.
Brave and hatke topics you choose...reality based
Absolutely agree with you sir.
Sir aap ke topics bhot kamal ke hote hai.🤗🤗 Mtlb intezar rehta hai hmesha next ka. Sir one humble request please try to make one vedio on 1 no series also.🙏🙏 THANKU
Sir due to my husband transferable job now we r staying in district place...here I seen almost 90 percente parents send their children's in hostel at age of 8 and 10...yaha ek ded lakh me hostel ho jata hai so unki yeh thinking h ki hostel me bacche h to Ghar me taam jham b nahi....they willingly send children's in hostel....n vohi bacche jab holidays me Ghar aate hai to unko kaam jyada ho jata hai to fir they r waiting ki kab Inka school college start ho jaye...
What about military schools and RIMC??
Yes I am here for this plz tell to me also
36- ka matlab - 3 ×12
So 3 complete solar cycles
Emotional security is very much required for growing up kids.
12th k baad ka bhi bnao sir,ye vdo boht acha lga,god bless you sir
Agree with 36 yr concept
Sirjee thanks 🙏
Luv u sir excellent ❤️ advice.
Bachhe strong nahin safe n secure feel krna deserve krte hn.....
Perfect speech sir
My daughter is in a boarding school. She wanted to study there...with all the small challenges..she is very happy there. In fact, her talents were more recognized there then when she was with us. Not only that her grades also improved. When she was with us...they were all the time with tablet or mobile. Now she is making good use of her time. They have one month holidays in December and 2 complete months of holidays in May - June. Apart from there we have 2 days visit home. It's like more of quality time over quantity
Which hostel ?
Improvement in grades is nor the marker . Will she ever tell you truth . She will always say she is happy there . But detachment really happens
I completely agree with this, if a parent chooses a good boarding school, it can be much better for the child, just because of the humongous exposure which would be impossible to be given to the children anywhere (except delhi maybe), for eg, state of the art sporting arenas, high quality Coaches, Musical instruments like violin etc, High quality Debating Groups, Fine arts and many more things.
I myself was in a a boarding school right from class 8, and there is no bitterness between me and my parents, rather inam grateful for the whole time i was in hostel, which is 8th-12th.
And i can completely resonate with your experience for your child.
@@friendlyvimana you are coming from confirmation bias . What worked for you may not work for others . And you also will not realize what you have missed . Like I have lived with my parents during schooling so it was easier for me . We don't know and experience what we miss
@@rishusharma7514 we can actually know what the school has to offer and what is it that a family can not offer even if they are resourceful and intend to give everything they can.
And if you have chosen a upper strata boarding school for your kids, like sainik schools for lower middle class backgrounds, yiu can actually see your childcs personality get cut into a diamond while being the person he always was.
Qualities like discipline, are just the starting points of a discussion, there's so much more a child inculcates.
Child needs love and support of parents which hostel can not provide.
Kitni sach baat boli sir ne.
Sir 🙏 very great full topic.
बॉन्डिंग with parents weak ho jati h
God bless you sir....
Try to add subtitles to your video while uploading video it shows that facility so people who are from other language can understand at least in english
Just Brilliant Sir 🤟
Very true ji 🙏
So true sir .....
Sir i completely agree...
It should depend on the case to case!!
You can't just say Nahi Bhejna Chahiye
sir absolutely correct.
100% Agree wrt hostel.
Sir aap bahut achha contain leke aate hai
Very beautiful explained...
Sir aapnye bahot hi Sachhi baat batai but sir my son is going to 11th grade now I was thinking muzye hostel bheja na padega ku ki mere husband ko alcohol aadat hai aur ye bachte w liye achaa nahi .. aise atmosphere o kaise padhai karega ..abhi aap muzye batai muzye kya decision lena chahiye ..?
Absolutely right Sir
Bank balance of childhood ...woww❤