When there’s a disagreement, when I need to say YES or when I need to say NO, when I need to state my needs, and ask for them to be met... When I need to create boundaries... There's a possibility and a probability, that someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me... So I engage in every encounter, interaction, and relationship... In a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me... NEVER ends up being me! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose parts of myself. To never fragment. Radical honesty only: 100% of the time. Always, all ways.
Thank you for this. After surviving IPSV for 11 months, I'm proud to be free. The compounded trauma has me terrified everywhere I go thinking someone's gonna hurt me in some way. But I keep trying to ground myself back in reality.
Isolation is a huge thing for PTSD The loss of self is the essence of trauma 1) My life is a horrific nightmare 2) I am completely trapped inside of. 3) Just hell. No escape. I have been severely brutally raped: my whole life (all 45 years so far) red hot white burning homicidal rage: surges through my veins I wish eternal suffering: upon all those whom I loathe I'm in hell: and there's no escape This might seem random but... I CANNOT stop obsessing and ruminating and I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this and I need to get it off my chest (and I'm also willing to read responses, if anyone feels called to respond...) I had a HORRIBLE therapist HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE the worst but here's the thing... it's twofold: 1) he's wildly successful (and I can't for the life of me figure out why or how) 2) I saw him for almost all of 2023, I was so traumatized when I went to see him, that I just kept going, because I had nowhere else to turn... In the end, he really fucked me up. Instead of helping me, he traumatized me further. It's over 10 months now, and I can't stop obsessing over how he's traumatized me, and all the money I wasted, etc. etc. I can file a formal complaint. But the process seems long and arduous, and brings me no particular benefits... It's just that I can use my voice, and he can potentially get reprimanded... But if I do this I have to do it soon... I don't know what to do? Any thoughts, anyone?
Next time you experience a strong emotion that's overpowering you, stop for a second and observe it. Just observe the feeling without any stories about it or whatever it means to your life. Just feel the emotion as it is. Perhaps it involves a burning sensation in the stomach or maybe a flutter in the heart. Observe its physical manifestations in your body. But also observe its effects on your mind. Maybe it makes the thoughts start racing. Maybe it confuses the thinking apparatus. Observe all the facets of the overwhelming emotion, scientifically. The way you might observe a strange bug you see walking nearby. Or maybe the way you observed raindrops on a window when you were a kid. Really the goal is to learn to ride your emotions the way a Surfer rides waves. You don't just crash into them and you don't just let yourself get pulled under. With practice you can learn to ride them to shore. (Jesus said when you learn how to suffer you also learn how not to suffer!)
When there’s a disagreement,
when I need to say YES
or when I need to say NO,
when I need to state my needs,
and ask for them to be met...
When I need to create boundaries...
There's a possibility and a probability,
that someone will inevitably,
most likely,
be disappointed in me...
So I engage in every encounter,
interaction, and relationship...
In a way that ensures,
that the person disappointed in me...
NEVER
ends up being me!
I aim to never repress,
never suppress.
I aim to never lose parts of myself.
To never fragment.
Radical honesty only:
100% of the time.
Always,
all ways.
Thank you for this. After surviving IPSV for 11 months, I'm proud to be free. The compounded trauma has me terrified everywhere I go thinking someone's gonna hurt me in some way. But I keep trying to ground myself back in reality.
Isolation is a huge thing for PTSD
The loss of self is the essence of trauma
1) My life is a horrific nightmare
2) I am completely trapped inside of.
3) Just hell. No escape.
I have been severely brutally raped: my whole life (all 45 years so far)
red hot white burning homicidal rage: surges through my veins
I wish eternal suffering: upon all those whom I loathe
I'm in hell: and there's no escape
This might seem random
but...
I CANNOT
stop obsessing and ruminating
and I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this
and I need to get it off my chest
(and I'm also willing to read responses,
if anyone feels called to respond...)
I had a HORRIBLE therapist
HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE
the worst
but here's the thing...
it's twofold:
1) he's wildly successful
(and I can't for the life of me figure out why or how)
2) I saw him for almost all of 2023,
I was so traumatized when I went to see him,
that I just kept going,
because I had nowhere else to turn...
In the end, he really fucked me up.
Instead of helping me, he traumatized me further.
It's over 10 months now,
and I can't stop obsessing over how he's traumatized me,
and all the money I wasted, etc. etc.
I can file a formal complaint.
But the process seems long and arduous,
and brings me no particular benefits...
It's just that I can use my voice,
and he can potentially get reprimanded...
But if I do this I have to do it soon...
I don't know what to do?
Any thoughts, anyone?
Great video
And you want to go with that thought.
Next time you experience a strong emotion that's overpowering you,
stop for a second and observe it.
Just observe the feeling without any stories about it or whatever it means to your life.
Just feel the emotion as it is.
Perhaps it involves a burning sensation in the stomach or maybe a flutter in the heart.
Observe its physical manifestations in your body.
But also observe its effects on your mind.
Maybe it makes the thoughts start racing.
Maybe it confuses the thinking apparatus.
Observe all the facets of the overwhelming emotion, scientifically.
The way you might observe a strange bug you see walking nearby.
Or maybe the way you observed raindrops on a window when you were a kid.
Really the goal is to learn to ride your emotions the way a Surfer rides waves.
You don't just crash into them and you don't just let yourself get pulled under.
With practice you can learn to ride them to shore.
(Jesus said when you learn how to suffer you also learn how not to suffer!)
If you see this message tell us something you,what do you love about yourselve?
You forgot and all sorts of diseases.