These Trauma Reactions Trigger Self-Defeating Behaviors
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
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Everyone has self-defeating behaviors, and everyone gets triggered sometimes. But if you grew up with abuse and neglect, it can be hard to control the emotional reactions that erupt when you're stressed, and this can lead to even stronger self-sabotaging actions. So much of the damage from childhood trauma lies in this trigger/emotiona/behavior sequence that can take place over and over throughout your life. But you can heal that sequence so that you can handle stress WITHOUT slipping into old patterns that have held you back. In this video I tell you how.
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1. Overwhelmed ->to escape
2. Loneliness ->to cling
3. Fearfulness ->to control
Now I understand why I feel like saying “F*** it” and want to runaway when I’m deregulated. 😮
@@rae66chel so completely me as well
Great. How do i overcome this.
“People who hurt you are a setback to your healing.” Profound statement to me. 💛
Yes!!! I just had the epiphany on this.
So true😢
@NoName It's worthwhile to note that, while this is blaringly obvious to folks who already HAVE done some healing, to many who are in the beginning stages of their healing, or still in a fog drowning in it, they don't have the CLARITY to see this.
I know, it happened to me.
Severe trauma puts us in such a major twisted web, that we are barely surviving, not processing or using our executive functions.
It's terrifying.
@@carolgarrett1786 thank you for writing that. I needed to read it. I turned 33 on the 13 and I am so scared right now, exciting because I no longer what to be dead, but scared. Ughhhh. Blah.
This video is so perfect. I was triggered this entire week. Mine is a sudden rush of adrenaline and depressive emotions, it was so hard to calm back down but I did recognize what was happening. It’s also kind of annoying because people don’t understand how it feels. They think it’s all about getting in control of your emotions but I feel like it crosses a threshold where the emotion isn’t the problem but my body’s reaction is.
We understand better than most. So glad you're here, you're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have the same problem. Blood rushes emotions get clouded. As long as you can recognize your getting triggered it a great first step. For me when I get that way. I take a deep breath a walk away. Don't let the emotion control you. Your going to be okay man.
Totally
Yup, it sucks
it’s called flooding
(nervous system issue) vagus nerve Healing helped me a LoT
@@jennaholzer where did you go for info? I would love to know. I have some Vagus problems.
Eliminating coffee, most sugar and light exercise has really helped me be more in control of my emotions. Part of my neglect relates to food. I never learned to like foods that were good for me. I ate what was available and then continued eating that way. The difference is really incredible. I don't feel like I need another person or substance to "complete me." For the most part I feel comfortable in my own skin.
I exercise lightly because some strenuous exercise can exacerbate cortisol levels.
Sugar lowers cortisol. It's one drive you should actually listen to.
Also, cookies, fries, chocolate, donuts etc. Are high fat foods.
Just get sources of pure sugar like, rice, fruit, sugar and juices
Eliminating sugar is a good call.. simple sugars can be a positive thing if they are timed correctly.. ie post strenuous workout or in your morning brew. All other times I would give them a miss. Coming from somebody with very good insulin sensitivity.
Ps the sugar is fruit (fructose) only replenishes the glucose store in the liver not the muscle etc.. so good for the morning 😊
I have been a self saboteur for too long now. A couple days ago I chose to drink and woke up feeling dreadful and extremely dysregulated. I accidentally stumbled on your channel when trying to find videos of how to respond more effectively to triggers. When I drink, my personality changes and I get angry and lash out. I have sadly pushed away many people in my life from doing this and it has to stop. I am 48 and do not want to spend the next half of my life feeling to way I have for almost 9 years thanks to one toxic relationship I had post -divorce. This one incident re-opened my childhood wounds of abandonment and rejection. I have been marathon watching your videos and your insights have really resonated with me. I am considering AA as I feel disconnected from people since the pandemic. You have given me hope that I can still heal at my age. Thank you so much.
It’s never too late, and 48 is young. You have so many more years. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey
Thank you so much ❤ for this.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you will give AA a try. Changed my life 39 yrs ago!
My biggest triggers are FEAR, loneliness, rejection and abandonment/betrayal. I started doing a fear inventory in AA but I learned it here first even though I have been going to AA for years. It works like a charm. The key for me is praying to God that God will remove the fear before and after the inventory. I also can do it in my head if I notice fear creep in throughout the day. Also, acting "as-if" I am calm and envisioning what it would be like to experience a sense of ease helps too.
Thank you for sharing this! -Calista@TeamFairy
Isn't fear the result of à trigger not the trigger itself, or maybe in what case can it be the trigger?
Wow, that's where I've been since my daughter died. I already had CPTSD now the anger from my daughter's death (medical murder) and PTSD from the month in the hospital are overwhelming most of the time. Anger has been a primary emotion. From you now I know that I've been disregulated. No therapist I've ever had (there were many) ever told me that is what is going on. I have popped off with my mouth and my middle finger in public at least once. Before I found your video's. Since I have been watching you, I was able to walk my self out of the house before I had a full blown thowin' shit hissy fit. It started, but it only took me a minute to catch myself. Thank you, I'm still trying to write to you. I am mostly still dysfunctional after a year. Your videos have been helping me out of the darkest place I've ever been. I thought I lost it 12 years ago when my mom died, but that was just a sliver of grief.
I am so sorry for your loss. My daughter is all wrapped up in the medical system and she’s only getting sicker. Sending you much love.❤
So sorry for your loss. 😞Two of my children nearly died from medical malpractice. Spent 4.5 months in the NICU when my son was born a few years ago. That did me in. Then I watched my father die after getting the Moderna shot. I finally got help and my therapist offered me EMDR. It’s been life changing. Unbeknownst to me I had been dealing with PTSD since childhood which was only compounded by my son’s birth and first year then my dad’s death. Now, thanks to EMDR emotional regulation is my new normal.
We are so sorry for your loss, sending support in getting through this awful time.
-Cara@TeamFairy
As an RN and then med mal attorney I can tell you our health care system has deteriorated-worse outcomes, less accountability, poor staffing, more corruption.
I am sorry for you, and I hope you continue to speak up
@@mackenzie8042 My daughter was too. They were slowly killing her before they finally finished her off. I hope you're daughter can find natural alternatives and escape it.
My husband and I are both trauma survivors and just started a healing process. Separate and together. This shit is heavy at times. In our first marriage counseling session, he denied any child hood trauma. The therapist noticed the look on my face and pulled out what he was pushing down. Grateful for your platform whilst navigating all.I found you during the pandemic and have been using your techniques for myself. Separate of my marriage.
I can relate. My husband was in denial about his childhood. We’ve been together for 45 years & his story of his father’s passing away never made sense to me.
Both his siblings had the same story. About six years ago my MIL went into decline with dementia & my husband became her caretaker. Getting her legal papers together & finding his Dad’s death certificate put an end to the false story.
He had taken his life & my then 13 year old husband found him. It’s still hard for him to talk about it.
Marriages go through ups & downs & having a bad childhood makes it even more challenging. The hardest part is being honest. I hope you can work things out. It’s worth the effort.
While these are true, and definitely things to be aware of, actively work on, etc., it is also important to understand how toxic for example, many workplaces and other people can be. We have organizations such as EEOC Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, family court, etc., because the world at large is dysregulated. I've seen people from dysfunctional backgrounds walk in lock-step with extremely oppressive partners, and jobs. It is important to speak up for yourself and have backbone while also not exploring in anger. I've found that the dysfunction of others around me has been alarming and sad. Only a very small slice of the society is functional. In the midst of all this, it's hard to generalize as there are so few that came from families that modeled good relating and emotional regulation. Love to All ♥️
Well said.
I feel like your recent videos have been coming out with perfect timing.
It's like your literally my little godfairy on my shoulder seeing and hearing everything that im going through. Joining me in my meditation and then helping me come to my answers and conclusions.
Thankyou for saving myself and many other from more years of emotional damage I know I'm over it. And this is helping me alot!
I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will want to read this. -Calista@TeamFairy
This video will need to be seen again and again to really stop behaving like this. Thank you Dear Fairy. You were the one who got me to realise that i had CPTSD. I have improved so much since then. Immense gratitude 🙏🏽
There's even support and interaction with Anna in our membership, you might want to check it out :) bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just absolutely love you Anna! Thank you so much. I'm in the isolation right now because of dysregulation. I'm trying but today has just been a day I couldn't even get out of bed but for a few minutes at a time. I know, it will pass. Today is just a day to try.
Heather, I just wanted to say you're in my thoughts and Prayers 💕🙏💕
You're in my thoughts and Prayers 💕🙏💕
I get it. You're not alone.
I have had a lot of days like that. I'm sorry you're going through this, but the more we can learn how our brains work, we can get through this. Thank God for Anna and her team!
Awareness is the first step in making meaningful changes. Dear Fairy, this is another great video that shows us how to change. I was very much disregulated most of my adult life, feeling that I was on a roller coaster permanently. Now I still get triggered and still feel the rush of adrenaline traveling though in my body, but now I am aware of my physical reactions. When it happens, part of me wants to do something immediately/react, but now part of me knows I should not act on my feelings. Now I go out for a run/hike, or do something else to distance myself from the trigger and calm myself down. Usually the situation isn't as bad as my traumatized brain believed: it was not life or death, and there are always options other than overreaction. To me, the idea of thinking about, and actually finding other option is growth.
That is growth! It sounds like you've come up with some great strategies for calming yourself down and that's amazing. Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Rarely do you find resources on the internet that are so powerful and practical at the same time. ❤
Ana can you do a video on how to deal with an arrogant person or someone who behaves by belittling you at work. there’s been times where this has happened to me and I freeze. It takes a day or two to process other ppls bad behavior. Then I realize I should of said something.
Please feel free to write us: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yes! This happens to me all the time. I freeze instead of sticking up for myself.
Often I’m just astonished people would say what they said. I think maybe it’s conflict avoidance?
I’d love to see a video on this topic. Thanks!
It's been about 3 weeks since I started doing the daily practice, and I can now tell when I'm trigger, (my amigdala is over reacting) vs an actual threat from something or someone. So, I quickly notice I'm dysregulated and take action to get regulated. Or, I take appropriate action if the threat is real. A new definition of self-control. Thank you Anna. ❤😊🎉
Thank you for sharing this
Escape
Cling
Control
Wow!
Bro the jacket thing & the emotional control. Fuck the nightmares stopped recently, i always think of the line in Blazing Saddles "gentleman, rest tour sphincters" bro. Nightmares every night, all night.
Gone. Im still humiliated by the last 2 years at this job, im in my mid 30s. Dude i am like right in the zone that OP keeps speaking about. My panic attacks start but my heart doesn't go beyond, like im not breakingdown.
Oh my god....to actually feel emotional regulation...i keep getting scared my fear will go back like before
This recently stopped like a month ago for the first time in my life....FUUUUUuuuuuu *phew*
Thank you from a fan!
Omg! I have everyone of those self-defeating behavior. Except for dishonesty and drug use. At least I'm an honest non-criminal mess!
Was always Overwhelmed and Scared, but I could "handle" it, and folks could "handle" me. My need to work again brought out Lonely, and a flood of toxicity. Sucks when your stuff is too hard to keep to yourself 😬
Writing it out helps a great deal! bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Not wanting to be with some individuals that were too toxic I reacted to my discerment in order to remove myself from them permanently. I could have walked away and politely avoided them. Although I see them weekly difficult to avoid and really telling them I don't want interactions. They are emotionally and mentally dysregulated. No other way around this. I haven't gossip but I'm positive they have. My responsibility is to be very careful to listen to the bright red flags in both cases. Therfore be superficially polite and Stay out of trouble. Meaning if I would have believed the red flags initially I wouldn't have had to go through another testing. Unavailable person push pull, the other one false quick friendship for information regarding her agenda. No more Unavailables and fake friendship.
Fake friendships can break my heart.
Thank you. It's helpful to have a filter to find those cost more than giving behaviours and know how to evaluate the behaviour that seems to happen to me.
My problem for years, is a deep rooted fear to connect. I noticed it (felt not only thinking about) only a few weeks ago. It's like i feel the natural need to connect and when connection starts to happen it is like a reflex when i lay my hand on a really hot stove. This urge to pull back comes with a my survival depends on intensity.
For decades i have been isolating as good as possible. From a few weeks after birth till age 35, I'm now 37. Now I'm part of two single parent groups. I work with a family helper and own my lack of experience in being social. I'm kind, I'm loving, I'm smiling, i communicate my boundary's if i notice them what's difficult with all the impulses that i need to sort out and evalue consciously not to mention catch those fast butterfly's in time. So often I'm busy within myself micromanaging my responses to triggers. Long term low grade trauma resulting in nearly everything is triggering. Normal smells like cigarettes, alcohol, the smell of fear sweat, raised voices, loud noises, movements on the edge of my vision field/ and behind me. The smell of weed, men (I'm so sorry for this one 😓), being watched... I really do my best to have a growth mindset, know that the fear i feel deep inside(the hot stove) isn't about the present it's from a past wound and the automatic reaction is the best answer i had back then and now it's time to work on this best answer of a six week old to address the lack of safe to bond with people around, to match my current season of live.
It's so helpful to have some orientation when do i fall into those once best answers to once overwhelming problems. That not fit any longer, that long-term harm myself like... Feeling lonely and sweetening the deal to stay in a safe distance with sweets. I accept that i use this high cost solution and that's why I'm moving myself foreward to keep this socializing muscle in training. I already realize that my longing for sweets is gone after having nourishing contact with safe people. As well as wenn connected with myself after intense movement sessions. I now celebrate that i have people i feel safe with in my live and find (struggle) my way how to bond with my hurtful experiences.
A very warm Thank you for refining my focus with this video.
I find that the less time I spend with the majority of my family the better I feel. They trigger me with how they are
I recently reported 2 very serious sexual assualts that happened when I was 13 through 14 by my mother's ex And I wish I was exaggerating this.
She looked me in my face and said "I don't know how he could of done that to you because he was boring in bed with me , he'd only do missionary"
And it made me feel so low and angry.
I've also got a massive cold sore, 5 mouth ulcers just thinking about all the stress of what's coming.
I constantly feel sick too.
My behaviours and symptoms are running my life. They decide my future ATM.
Needed to hear this so much today! Job is stressful and I'm about to get triggered and just walk out! LoL they deserve it! But I'm going to be less triggered and take my time and quit when I'm ready. Not going to let them control my emotions or my life! Thank you so much!
You got this!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank God for Anna! I just had much difficulty with my nephew, who is over 50 and v much been poisoned against me by my older sister, the narcissist. He's insulting me now, like doing her dirty work. I tried get support on help line, and the counselor did NOT know how to just validate me. When I hear Anna's videos, it's validating because she's saying " if you're feeling crazy, invalidated, etc, here's something". She's been through enough to know you might need really not be much involved w relatives. Sad but TRUE!
I can't have any problems w them or they label me as " all about you" or " too wrapped up w yourself! Like your not allowed take care of yourself.
Narcissists, are actually very NEEDY! That's why they try to reverse it onto YOU!
I will tackle my problem of not getting enough gym time. I asked my brother for help, and he wants to support me. 🤗 Every Sunday at 8 PM, he will phone me and help me get out of the house to the gym, no regards of the weather or excuses. I really tried alone but I cant motivate myself. It's too hard for me, I need outside support 😅
I’m truly grateful for this upload. I had a rage moment this morning and this was the first video I saw afterward. Wow.
Good timing!
I quit my job a month ago because I was very triggered by ongoing behavior by a coworker. I had been overwhelmed, lonely, and fearful for six months. There was a straw that broke the camel’s back, I got disregulated, I snapped, could not calm down, and quit. No job in the wings. Wish I had had this video first.
This is a classic, timeless video of enduring wisdom. Anna, you hit a home run with this powerful and relevant video. As I listened, on every self-sabotaging behavior, I asked myself - "Am I doing this now or have I done this previously?"
Outstanding presentation - A Top 10 Anna Classic!!
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
Let’s face it, everything isn’t always due to a PTSD trigger. Sometimes people are so self-absorbed, lack manners, and push boundaries unconsciously. It isn’t always our ‘overreaction’. But I have found walking away the best option…but there have been times where I call them out, and I try to do it rationally. I am not always successful.
This is exactly what I experience. The fact that you are older is comforting to me. You are exactly on point and bring an intelligent compassionate understanding awareness to an issue so many people experience and has been overlooked for so long. You have made a platform for me on which to stand and discover who I truly am. Thanks. 🙂❤
I go off on people and burn bridges. It is very destructive and I work on this continually. I also have a hard time believing the sincerity of apologies. Huge issues for me. Wreaks havoc on my relationships. But I believe I can heal and I will.
Yes, you can. That's the sprit.
-Cara@TeamFairy
You are an amazing, inspiring human and an excellent teacher!
So many of these videos resonate with me and are things that I feel/do. However, I had a relatively good childhood. It was school and sibling rivalry which affected me. It wasn’t my parents. But I struggle a lot now feeling like I’m going to be overlooked, overshadowed and left out. I get so worked up in the moment and become so overwhelmed when I feel people are drifting away. Thank you so much, Anna, and the rest of the CCF team. Your work is amazing!! ❤️❤️❤️
A lot of our members feel similarly, different childhood experiences bring up the same symptoms :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you
I have so many of these self-defeating behaviors. I’m doing better than I used to after years of work. Still, I think I have a long way to go. Your videos remind me of that
Oh that explains why I've been in such a wreck last few months, breaking completely down a couple of days ago. I feel overwhelmed, afraid and lonely all at the same time, lmao.
I’m overwhelmed by all the things applicable to me. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi because it doesn’t seem like there’s any hope of repairing such a long list in my lifetime.
I have been like this all day today. 😮 At home; but i’m definitely going thru it. I can feel the dysregualtion affecting my whole body. I just played this and you explained my behaviour. I can’t let it go.
It takes some real work, this free course is a great starting point bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Me too
Ahhh now I see why I have to be in control of everything! 😵💫
You are an angel. Thank you. As I listen to this, it all seems to make sense. I've been lost in a fog for too long. Trying to understand I can't figure it all out. Until I saw a couple of your videos you are an instrument of a higher power. Truly are blessing. Thank you
I so so appreciate the time you took to make this video with such quality. It is changing my life.
Omg! I sadly do all these behaviors you described. Yikes.
It sounds like you're in the right place! We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This is so bang on!!! I am going through all these three emotions currently! Overwhelmed, lonely, scared, guilty and ashamed. 😭 Idk how to handle it!! I was supposed to send a test to get a new job as I am a content developer looking for new job. My interview went very well but tests scare me in general and especially when there is a deadline. I don't think 9-5 jobs us for me but i don't know what else to do. I am going crazy. I get good jobs but i always sabotage them coz I get disregulated and don't complete the work on time also I have behavioural issues. My husband doesn't understand but still supports me. But i think it's just a matter of time that he will get irritated by this and I won't blame him at all.
Have you tried the Daily Practice course yet? bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
I once kicked a tv over but I still blame Rush Limbaugh. This is an amazing video. Thank you so much.
😂
Thank you! I watched the video twice. I kept spacing out the first time, which was my clue that I really needed to HEAR this tonight.
You are so welcome! we are glad to have you here. Jack@TeamFairy
Thank you for this. I am rewatching this later
This is so good!! Thank you for sharing these insights.
Perfect timing on this video.
Thank you for being you & all you do for us!! You're videos are Spot On. I cannot thank you enough 💕💕💕💕💕
Overwhelmed is a great example as it also connects to Sensory Affective parts of the brain.
Thank you Anna! Your so calming to listen to with my journal.
I've downloaded your free download but I'm so sorry I've not started yet my brain don't work and it's hard to keep to much information in I've only just found out that I've had cPtsd for 50 years and didn't know it was a thing as well as other things I won't get into I'm waiting for a plan on what they are planning for me but you make so much sense and I want to thank you for your vlogs life has always been not the best but you just deal with it but since my break down 10 years ago I can't anymore and this is where hopefully you and what ever the plan is will help get me your amazing thank you 🙏
Thanks for your support, when you're ready, the course is there for you :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy if i can ask when does my foggy terrible memory get better it's so hard to focus and take things in I can't read a book forms etc so watching self help TH-cam vlogs helps but if to long it goes in one ear and out the other if that makes sense?
Thank you so much for this - lots of invaluable information delivered in a friendly calm way as usual. Your videos help me so much
Thank you for your kind words! I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Wow. Some of these are still a problem but I hadnt realised how many have dramatically improved over time, or healed all together. Moving ahead slowly can feel like standing still...til you look back, or you get a map like this, reminding you where you've been, and you can see just how far you've come. Still a way to go but at least now I know it can be done.
What an insightful comment! Healing is a long process, and sometimes it can be hard to recognize how far you've come. It's great you're able to see all the progress you've made so far :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I Watch your videos just two days ago since then I watched already 15 videos. I really enjoy watching you talking, like someone understand me, just watch it I feel I am getting better.
Thank you.
I will share your videos to more people, there are so many women I know they suffer from childhood trauma, CPTSD.
I'm so happy to hear that and so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You are so amazing! Thank you for all your videos. You have been the key to my healing and understanding of what's been going on in me and why.
I can identify with everything you said and can recognize myself in them, but am so grateful to see how far I've come in my healing.
Recognizing when I'm triggered has been a tremendous help in avoiding the next step into destructive behaviors. Cognitive alertness and self control are working.
Thank you so much for your videos. ❤
One thing I'm still working on is forgiving myself for who I became in my life when I didn't understand that I was walking in survival because of being dis regulated for sometimes years... thru my children's young ages.
There's nothing you can do to change or undo what, as a mother, I wasn' t able to be for them. 💔
Any advice? Im guessing only to give ourselves grace. The grace that I more easily have given to others.
Again Anna, thank you. You are a sweetheart. Oh how I wish I could find a friend like you!
Learn new behaviors for me. Is the change for me.
An exceptionally good presentation . Thank you so much for your knowledge and generosity 🙏
Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging comment!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I think you’re a life saver. Thank you.
I am 53 and giving up on dating is the kindest thing I've done for myself in 30 years. I enjoy this equilibrium I have now. I concentrate on my relationship with my children 19 and 16. I did just go for an interview for the grade above and for the first time I really really prepared properly. I have failed to go up a grade a few times now and I still don't think I got it this time. It is occasions like this where I'm ''tested'' by the real world that I still feel different from other people. Literally every other person I started work with as a clerical officer has progressed through the regulated standard testing to go up the grade above, but every time I fall down at interview. It did upset me and de-rail me before. Would it be ''avoidant'' to give up trying or would it be more kindness to my self?
~Going to doctors isnt necessarily that great for one's health these days~Eating right, and taking care of yourself naturally, or maybe treating things with natural remedies is likely a better path than pharma pills, etc., which often dont heal, but just cover up symptoms~
Kudos for making up the term "covert avoident". It caught my attension right away, and gave me a lot to think about. ❤️
I like that term as well :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
haha as a non native speaker of English, it didn't even occur to me that it's a made-up word! Just like the term crapfitting, it' s self-explanatory and apt. I wouldn't be surprised to see these expressions enter official vocabulary.
@@Monik_A_nna yeah, it'a good term, I heard her say she made it up, otherwise I would have believed it was already made🌞Same with crapfitting. Brilliant 👌🙌
@@Monik_A_nna They should!!!
Triggers are a tough journey to step away from.
Hypervidulant nerves spark the brain automatically in stressful situations.
Reflex action
Fight or flight
This is spot on for me. Thank you ❤
So what is a proper behavior? I was literally brought up in what seems now like a purely traumatic childhood 😄
Huge insight here, I appreciate the clear presentation and practical applications, thanks.
I've listened to 4 or five of your brilliant explanations. After 3 or 4 minutes, every time I start talking out loud and not hearing you. I then snap back and listen again. This sometimes happens 2 or even 3 times.
I couldn't not have trauma, I think the fight where I stabbed my male parent( I don't use the d word or f word for him) at 14 when he was drunk and violent was a clincher. You're a ripper hun. X
Thank you for this so valuable knowledge
I’m in the midst of a shit storm of ALL 3 of these right now. It’s so bad that I can’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I know how painful that can be. If you're interested, I really encourage you to check out Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice', it's a great place to start working through these behaviors. Here is the link: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
I know I have CPTSD because of your videos and my life journey. But every time you talk I hear ding Ding DING..that's me...
Not I'd course all traits..but the ones which align with my CPTSD
I'm so glad you found the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I used to make fun of the concept of 'being triggered' until I realized I myself was full of these trauma responses. Admittedly sometimes they take a comical turn as mental illness can be funny at times when it turns into a Seinfeld-esque rant about all the things that are pissing you off at once. Today's thing that really grinds my gears? Automated hotel kiosks.
Dear Beloved Sister. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. God bless you for raising awareness. Muslim sister. 🙏💜
" you must have the capacity to receive or even Omnipotence cant give. "
C.S. Lewis
Trigger - wine and emotional suppression. That's what I'm doing.
What if you just let yourself down? I told myself I wouldn't let this financial salesman get all my info but i,gave it to him. What the h -- is happening? I can't trust myself!!
So then I start overeating.. fear?
Thank youuuuuuu... I felt so heard and understood.💗🙏🏻
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Frida@TeamFairy
Listening to this video left me surprised, as almost every single point applies to my ex who I've thought is actually a covert narcissist. What would be the difference between the two, and the difference with someone with only C-PTSD and someone with C-PTSD and narcissistic personality disorder? Thank you for such educative and helpful content, my mental state is also truly benefitting from the daily practice!
Amazing video! Why didn’t I watch this as soon as I saw it pop up on TH-cam yesterday? I saved it to watch later. I was triggered over the weekend and tried to control the situation by writing a letter. This did not go well and my attorney removed himself from my case:/ Now I’m stressed trying to find new representation.
Hi Anna, just checking to see if this reply is really from you. Please let me know. Thanks!
Thank you fairy!! You are So Helpful to me!!! 🌈❤
I'm so glad! Thank you for your kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy
1:51, agreed
Feeling overwhelmed is a little confused for me. The word that actually mean the same emotion in my language is different from English. It's the phrase " Feel too much to handle"
The language barrier make it a lot harder for a Thai like me to understand, especially something abstract.
That's the same thing, you get it :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy 🙏 Thanks you
thank you! What a wise perceptive video!
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
Great content ! Can we have this content in blog format ?
While I haven't been posting blogs since I've been working on the book, there are something like 130 blog posts over on my website. Info is timeless. Take a look!
Thought of the day. There's two types of people in the world, those that search for reasons to validate/accept others and those that search for reasons to invalidate/reject others. I think the latter won in me as I always am looking for reasons to reject myself. I'm struck daily as you seem to be one of the former. This presents a problem to me as I think I came to bitterly believe only the latter exists. Reality seems to be showing me I harbor a lot of faulty beliefs. And overwhelm is my reaction as I don't think I have ever modified a faulty belief before.
What an extraordinary comment! Thank you for sharing your thought process with all of us. I don't know if you use the Daily Practice techniques that I'm always talking about, but what you describe -- that's what they do for me.
The reality is that those two types of people are actually the same group of people. The difference is perspective, growth, and time.
Oh goodness.. thank you..
Well said
Me too needed this today. Thank you!
Between gut feelings I can not trust, things I should not under react to and now reactions that trigger self defeating behaviour, ngl I'm lost. I don't know how to be normal.
7:0 escape : overwhelmed
How do I deal with it then? I keep overeating and it’s so frustrating
Same!!! 40lbs up in one year. I've never gained this much weight so quickly
Start with a daily re-regulation strategy, it's one thing at a time :) bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you. I really needed to hear this today. My reactions make a bit more sense to me now.
I feel really cold when unsafe. Is that common?
I get shivers when I’m having an anxiety attack.
I'm not aware of specific trauma, but my startle response is very strong. I scream and have even sworn at whomever (unintentionally) scared me. It happens at lightening speed. How is it possible to control that when it's faster than conscious thought?
I really need to know the answer to this too… however, when you can’t escape or walk away and someone is attacking you out of their own conscious or unconscious woundings isn’t it sometimes justified to have such responses. I was regulated for many years and in fairness it led to many breakdowns and there’s only so much one person can take. Walking away may seem “moral” (if you can) but at other times you need to protect yourself and stepping down, imho, can make you a lot weaker
Narcs play the copycat game. They are masters at getting to know you and copycatting you. You actually are falling in love w yourself. You're pretty darn amazing I might added.
Then they stop copycatting you which is aka the discard. And "you" gets taken away from you or at least it feels that way and that's some painful shhh... and that's why you're so sad bc you love yourself and you miss you.
The Good news, actually Great news, is that once this clicks with you, you realize you always have you and no one can take that awesome soul out of you. Much love and light to ya wll❤
PS. Don’t start copycatting the narcs, they hope you do but stay true to you instead.
Ana, thank you so much for your videos. I watched all of them. Very helpful
One question though. I am paralyzed and cannot physically do your daily technique. Although I think it is great. I tried Recording but it is not the same. Any advice?
Sure -- can you tell me about the nature of the limitation? I can suggest a way to work with it.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you so much for answering. I'm paralyzed, cannot use my extremities. I cannot write or type. I have multiple sclerosis.
I Believe one can always grow. I learned a lot about myself after watching your videos. My c PTSD, limerence all my life, I also discovered not always psychologist is a good idea, I was working with one for 10 years. I discovered more, much more after watching your videos
Oh dear, M.S. is a lot to have on your plate. I like your can-do spirit! For writing fears and resentments, you can dictate by voice, while (if you're able) creating friction on your fingertips or another part of your body that you are able to move. For example, if you could gently drag fingers across a surface (the bed cover, your sternum, a pad of paper, for example), you would be giving voice dictation of the fears, while creating a friction sensation comparable to writing (dragging a pen/pencil across paper. The friction/movement is a cue to to your brain that reinforces the idea that you are naming and releasing the fearful and resentful thoughts. Perhaps moving your cheek a little, lightly, across a pillow or surface near your face. The goal is not to be in a lot of effort, so if it feels complicated, dictation is enough. I'm interested to hear how you adapt the technique.
🤗🌻💚
Thanks, as always 💜
You are so welcome! -Calista@TeamFairy
Not what i expected....i thiught shame would be one
What about insecure?
But to know all that dont help me to feel good or better.
Brain focus on that negativ behaviour and increase it.
I want just to be free from inner chaos.
You're right, action steps are needed. Try this free course bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Trauma/ PTSD here. What, in your opinion do you recommend when one is triggered and anger & rage occurs? I find it’s so complex.
I'm loving the Daily Practice but have such a hard time sitting quietly for the 20 minutes after. I can make it through about 10, but I'm so uncomfortable I get all twitchy like I do around people. Does this part eventually get easier?
If 10 minutes is what you can comfortably handle, then do 10 minutes. It's not about adhering to specific metrics of time, it's about doing what works for you and helps you process your difficult emotions and move on with your day. Maybe you only need 10 minutes to do that, and that's totally fine! And maybe over time, as you give yourself space to do things your own way, you'll find your ability to handle 10 minutes extends to 15, 20, or even beyond.