So You Want To Be WOLVERINE
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มี.ค. 2017
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Step One: get metal grafted to your entire skeletal system.
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Wolverine wouldn't know completely about his bone claws, since he lost his memory, from before he undertook the Weapon X project.
Not just lost, but had it actively tampered with. He couldn't trust anything he "knew" for a while there.
Sure, but that's like forgetting you have an arm on the left side. If you can move the muscle, your body already knows about it. Take me for example, I can not only wiggle my ears, but I can move each one independently, I didn't need someone to teach me or remind me I could do it, it's just something I've always been able to do.
@@darminatin you haven't lost your memory but still remembered that you can do that.
@@darminatin but he doesn’t forget how to use them. He forgets why he has them in the first place, when he’s living in a world with suspiciously unclawed people.
Wolverine should know he had bone claws? It's not like amnesia is his only character trait besides aggression.
THANK YOU
Not unless he forgot he has amnesia! A trait which people with amnesia should have because amnesia makes you forget things.
Weapon X wiped his memories, for a LOONG time he had no memory of events prior to being "rescued" by the Hudsons.
He got better?
I was thinking the exact same thing; recurring bouts of amnesia are a critical part of Wolverine's story arc. The poor guy can't even remember his own name half the time, so forgetting that he was born with claws isn't unreasonable. It probably also helps with (though not entirely prevent) item #4: PTSD.
On a more humorous note, his amnesia would probably be another incentive to continually earn new college degrees (as mentioned in item #5) since he'll probably forget what he learned in obtaining his degrees (or even forget that he has them at all) every few decades. :-P
Metal skeletons aren't impossible. I already have a metal skeleton. So do you. Calcium is a metal.
Porter Flynn cute!
Porter Flynn NNNEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!
Porter Flynn technically human skeletons are made of calcium hydroxyapatite, an organic compound.
@@________dQw4w9WgXcQ Uuuuuummmmm Steven Fry went over this "calcium as a salt and/or/vs metal" thing on "QI", but I just can't grasp anything past Chem 234, I guess. (I know it's likely primary school stuff, mate. My brain just won't retain it, like Leonard from "Memento" with every John G.)
No, I don't want to be Wolverine. Logan has one of the roughest lives I've seen for a character. Yes, healing factor is cool as fuck, but he FEELS everything.
I don't need to feel a nuke, my limbs being chopped off, etc,. I also don't want to outlive everyone I know and love. It's a depressing life.
But you'd rather be the Joker?
Bernard Gilbert the joker is a genius
I'm not really sure that's as bad as it sounds. Possibly in the process of these happening for the first time, but still. Think of it this way, have you ever given a baby solid food for the first time? Everything to a baby is translated as pain, so when getting solid food, they cry as it works its way through their system... it's something they haven't felt before, so they can only express it as though it hurts. Now look at you, (Or anyone, rather) you're doing it every day and not even blinking.
Or guys that get tattoos... sure the first one... or ten hours under a needle hurt like hell, but by the time you're at hour 100+, it's business as usual. I would think that at some point, living as long as he has and being in as many conflicts, getting shot probably doesn't feel any worse than a papercut... maybe a mosquito bite, who knows.
Alex Love don't be a wimp
but just think, time will never forget you, and you will immortalize the memory of your family.
It'd be impossible to coat your skeleton with molten metal. Even with a healing factor, it'd cut off your circulation & kill you.
BUT, theoretically with nanotechnology you could reinforce your skeleton at a molecular level.
With something like titanium which the body has a better chance of accepting.
NERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just trolling. I'm a nerd slash geek myself. I've made this exact argument myself multiple times.
That said I often like to tell my fellow nerds to calm down on occasion. We talk or argue passionately about fictional and or hypothetical topics and situations.
Also if you say my nerd comment in the voice of Homer Simpson it's much funnier.
jason newstead well in the comics they had the excuse that adamantium us such a special weird metal that it reacted with Wolverines healing factor in a way that it allowed his bones to continue to produce blood through them, but that anyone without a healing factor would have died from no new blood being created. In other words plot device.
It was also stated the adamantium in his body was slowly poisoning him and this is the cause of his frequent (in battle) berserker rages.
(I read that in one of the titles he was in. So many writers over so many years, Logan history gets awfully convoluted.)
Bernard Gilbert truth. Like many long running comic characters. The longer they've been around the more writers and ect get to add to or take away from origin stories or power sets and ect.
all awesome points except the last two.
he deals with PTSD by not remembering most of it.
and college degrees are apparently easy enough to forge since one hears about it happening fairly frequently. plus, his boss can cover that up for him the first time a parent comes in to complain. "Oh, you found out our teachers aren't qualified? BAM! No you didn't. Mind wipe." Plus, they draw their student base from almost everywhere except Westchester County, judging by the movies. And the books. And the cartoons.
To be fair I don't think Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters bothers with the parental approval of its students. At all.
Depends on how the parents feel about their child being a mutant. Recall the heart wrenching scene in _X2_ between Bobby and his family ("You're a mutant, what will the neighbors think"). They may be glad to ship their problem child off to Xavier's.
Yeah, but if they're happy to ship their mutie offspring off somewhere just to avoid neighbourly gossip, they're not likely to be all that concerned about the academic credentials of "that teacher with the point hair" - "who, dear? The blue one?" - "no, the one with bad attitude who chainsmokes cigars. It's important that his BA in Middle English poetry is real."
If I could only +1,000,000 that comment.
Michael Winkler Nobody forges diplomas. Nobody checks to see if you have a degree.
*"MA', THIS MAN SAID I SHOULD INJECT MYSELF WITH SALAMANDER GENES"*
I thought this was going to be about the workout regimen that Jackman did.
mcv86 lol me too m8
bodybuilding.com did a video on that on their channel
mcv86 lmao
"Enough memes" might be my favorite way to end any detailed comic discussion ever.
so you want to be Buffy, please.
That's a good one!
Oh yes!
Thanks!
Nicholas Pace yes....all the yes
Nicholas Pace I read how to be a butterfly
I'd like to see "So you want to become The Punisher".
I am a working actor living in New York, and that ending was brilliant.
I love that the gecko they used as an example is one of the few that don’t regrow their tails
5:57 That was the compilation of the wolverines time line I needed
"Specifically:
All of the time, in all of the military".
Sometimes, blatant butchering of the English language and grammar makes for tremendously hilarious punchlines.
"more powerful than any legal department." I lol'd
So you want to be Samus Aran
bump
Yes yes FUCK YES!
Beretta249 be a girl
Black Panther would be a good one. Or let's go villain with Dr. Octopus or Kilgrave from the Jessica Jones series
Michael Bullard I don't think Kilgrave's powers are worth being that screwed up in the head, or worth it at all if you like to use sarcasm on occasion.
Michael Bullard If you're Kilgrave nobody can love you since you control everyone around you. That's a guaranteed way to make you a depressed Sociopath.
Michael Bullard hi
I love the irony of Alex talking about an immortal character when he himself died so mant times
Wolverine also amassed an insane amount of languages, being several hundred years old. Like, beyond Indiana Jones levels
Cracked has been killing it lately.
Do Hulk next.
Oh and when Wolverine got his head removed from his body and was still talking, that was in the ultimate universe. So it wasn't cannon. Plus most of what happens requires a little more suspension of disbelief.
This was hilarious, like the idea of it becoming a series
Speaking of series(..es?) more Helmet History please!!
You're correct that the doctors at the weapon X program should have x-rayed Wolverine and seen he had bone claws in his arms (maybe they didn't?), which was the reason they had to use extra/more adamantium than they thought to cover his skeleton. When they "shaped" them, it was to get the barbs off so they could be retracted more easily.
And they also messed with his memories... made him remember things that weren't real to motivate him more, or erase memories that would make him hesitate or refuse a mission.
This guy's delivery is dry, rational, and under spokenly hilarious. Love the sense of humor!
Please bring these back. I really enjoyed them!
"Came unstuck in time" - Vonneguys Reference! Stop combining my favorite things Alex! (Please don't stop, it's wonderful)
He didn't go through all those wars alone. Most of them were with his brother, whom he was close to then. He had a closer connection than any combat team could ever have and that likely took them both through all those wars.
He wasn't alone until quite late in the game.
Also he doesn't remember most of it now.
also PM me on how to get claws and metal skeleton, I will NOT sue you, promise
Actually having knives in my hands would be sweet, no more running out of clean dishes!
finally something not cringy or over inspired, thank you mr Alex
I want to be roy mustang!!! lol, please
The whole "PTSD-Proof Brain" concept falls apart when taking into consideration that his incredible aggression and rage is driven by the pain of his experiences.
In the "Weapon X" series the doctors are shocked to find his body absorbing more adamantium than expected, Logans ' hands start to itch while in the process tank, then "snikt" his claws slide out and all shits hit the fan.
Great video, I really liked the edit where you questioned Wolverine's claws
All of this can be explained by the healing factor. It's in the official Xmen Encyclopedia that mental trauma that Wolverine endures is "Healed" by his healing factor, essentially making him forget the horrific events. This explains why he doesn't remember he has bone claws. The claws first manifested during a heated moment and he killed a man with them, at 10 years old, his brain healed over the trauma of ending a life and thus he had amnesia. Any PTSD he experiences is taken care of by the healing factor. Additionally, he's able to survive with metal on his bones because of this same healing factor, it's why there aren't a ton of people with adamantium skeletons, it's only possible with his specific mutation.
Alex, you are probably one of my favorite Cracked presenters. Awesome ending to this video.
p.s. Do Hawkeye please, thanks.
i like how he went on a Broadway rant at the end lol
This guy said "Octopuses," and I just learned something. Thought it was Octopi, lol.
Octopi is not a word. Cacti is. "Cacti" is multiple form of "cactus". Octopus is singular, that's why the word exists... A quick search on the internet after he said "octopuses" was all it took.
The ending "-i" is the Latin way to pluralise (eg. "alumni" is a group of more than one "alumnus") but Octopus is not a Latin root so it uses the English (-s) ending for pluralisation. If you wanted to be super respectful of its Greek etmology "octopodes" is also correct but archaic in use.
Both "Octopi" and "Octopuses" are acceptable plural forms according to Merriam-Webster.
Merriam-Webster is incorrect. It's an American publication that were US separatists and responsible for the normalisation of many incorrectly-spelled words that are now considered acceptable in the US (and only the US). I suggest you get an Oxford dictionary.
Burning Typhoon I learned that like just a few weeks ago
That one comic where his healing factor is pushed to the limit because they infect him with everything
I read the title like how Mike Goldberg would say "so you wanna be an ultimate fighter"
DUDE THEY’RE DIFFERENT UNIVERSES AND RETCONS!!!!
My favorite ending of a cracked video ever
I don't really
Kyle Serle YES YOU DO!!!!!
Yes you do.
Kyle Serle Neither do I😂
Cracked You should know by now that reading comments is dangerous for your mind.
Ooh ooh! Next you should explain to us why we can't really run through tunnels painted on the cliff side by Wyle E. Coyote. Or how about how much jail time we'd do if we strapped grandma to the top of our station wagon on a family trip? Fuck, man...
This reminds me of so many lunch table debates from the early 90s....
FINALLY, "So you wanna be" is back!!!!!
:)
so you want to be spider Man, I think we've all wanted to be spider Man and it would be funny for you to riff on the impossibility of a radioactive spider giving super powers.
When planaria came up, I briefly hoped you'd go on a Swamp Thing tangent, because yes, I absolutely wanna be Swamp Thing.
that would be great if they put that in one of the movies like logan is on shore leave with one of the guys in his platoon and just gets completely hammered and tells the guy he served with his great great great great grandfather and the guy refuses to believe him but logan's completely telling the truth it would've been great
5:13 "Everything-ier" lol
You people do know his healing factor effects his memories right?
Hey you could do a even more hilarious "So you want to be" and "Spiderman"
Actually, Marvel does know and has said where his claws come from.
1) He's a mutant, so that's that.
2) They also said Logan and Sabertooth are not exactly human, but rathar Lupines.
Wolverine has one of the toughest lives in all of comics. Who'd actually want to be him
wolverine's memory got wiped after he got adamantium
"Enough memes" -- A talking Clam, 2017.
Odd as it seems/seemed, the Weapon X team didn't thoroughly check him out before the adamantium injection. They were surprised (dialogue) by the extra metal needed and by the claws. Also, in addition to any trauma-induced memory loss, a significant part of that program involved screwing with subject memories. One of the agents in the program was codenamed Vole, a telepath. Wolverine's surprise over having bone claws becomes plausible when you realize he probably rediscovered them at the same time everyone else did.
Youre right.
Musicals are a work of art.
In one comic wolverine regrew himself from a single drop of blood
Why have I never seen this video before. It was awesome and hilarious
Way too late for this kind of nitpick but when he says "Geckos regenerate lost tails" the gecko he shows on the screen appears to be a crested gecko. Cresties drop their tails, but they do not regenerate them. Once they're gone they're gone forever.
The comics know exactly how wolverine got his claws it's a mutation like every other xman he forgets he has bone claws because his healing factor locks away parts of his past as a way to heal from psychological trama it's like you guys didn't read the comics at all
He's also a master of military tactics and unarmed combat
Y'all need to make more of these
I wanna be Colossus. Do a video on Colossus...and don't forget the bullet proof eyes lol
I guess Alex learned something from Wolverine. He didn't die at the end lol
All I got from that clip at the end is that Hugh Jackman is in _really_ good shape. :o
If Logan has such a super healing factor, wouldn't it be impossible or nearly impossible for him to get drunk?
Do 'So you want to be Hitman agent 47'
Bevy or John Connor from Terminator, or a Bond villain
Of course Wolverine is surprised that he has bone claws HE’S AN AMNESIAC
I've heard a lot of people saying they wish they were Scorpion or Sub-zero in Mortal Kombat
Says geckos regenerate lost tails and then shows a picture of a crested gecko which doesn't do that.
the gecko you showed is actually a crested gecko and they cannot grow back their tails
A commonly unknown Wolverine power in the comics is that he can willingly suppress any memories he possesses that he doesn't want to remember
i dont think the argument is that one wants to be wolverine, but that they wish they had wolverine's powers
1) logan has memory loss, forgot his true origins
2) the adamantium is COVERING his bones not replacing them you can see this in the wolverine when that japanese guy drills into his bone claws after cutting half of his metal claws
And remember, adamantium slowly kills him via poisoning. Only his healing factor keeps him alive for as long as he does.
Could we get a so you want to be a Vampire Slayer. (Buffy or Faith is preferable)
So when he gets cut in half does he just heal from the head down? instead of turning into multiple people
A healing factor
How did I miss Hugh Jackman doing the Bobby Van thing from that movie where he basically hops around for like five minutes without a break? Damn...
How about Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat?
I need a nice sciency explanation as to how someone is capable of drawing out all heat from the environment or object and then dealing with that excess energy.
Also, Ice Powers are.... Awesome.
Bet you thought I was going to say "cool."
wolverine got his memory wiped
Wolverine once revived from a single drop of blood
You, my good sir, have grown on me. Good!
The only problem with this is two of the movies you mentioned were either resets of the timeline or form a totally different timeline so none of it is connected.
Aren't you forgetting something? 6. A motorcycle. Don't have to purchase it, you could steal it, but you need a motorcycle.
I think in one issue Wolverine regenerates from a single drop of blood 😂
3:57 That species of gecko on the picture doesn't have the ability to regenerate it's tail.
Jack Leo thank you I was going to say the same thing! That’s a crested gecko. They don’t have the ability to do so. I used to breed them. Amazing creatures nonetheless.
Y'all should do Motoko Kusanagi. Between the manga, movie series, TV series, and Arise, you've got plenty of material to work with, I'd think.
Oh, also, it's topical. So, there's that.
Geckos regrow their tails
Proceeds to show one of the few geckos that doesn't 😑
I think a retractable claw gauntlet would be the best
What would it be like to have the same skills and equipment as Jim Raynor from Starcraft. He is a like Wolverine except instead of having mutations he is a commander fighting against 2 alien races.
Incredible, incredible series!
He was born with his claws
They should have made more of these
1:35 yes but in X-Men Origins Wolverine he got shot with an adamantium bullet and has weird memory lapses, him not knowing his origins is like a major thing in the movies I'm not sure about the comic though..
Lmao and then you show a picture of one of the only gecko types, an eyelash gecko, that does NOT grow its tail back if it's removed! Lol
To add to the PTSD factor: You are constantly suffering horrific injuries and bouncing right back. Be as powerful as you want, seeing your arm blown off or your flesh torn apart will still mess you up.
for 3b, you could eat those 3000 calorie-a-piece bars that come in the survival packs