I started constant therapy after years and I feel very fragile and I find myself crying and feeling the return of a lot of my childhood anxieties and fears, but that is working through trauma, it beings up the past so you can work through it. It's hard and painful but its nessicary.
Something happened in my current relationship that reminded me of an emotionally abusive relationship, it caused me to go into a PTSD rage (screaming and yelling, crying and running around the streets). My partner is amazing and I feel like such a monster for having that reaction.
im still having nightmares of the online relationship ive had with my ex and i dream of various things, me chasing them etc even tho i have my bf right now and i would like to slap that ex for what he did. so i totally understand you, hope you get through it soon. :( my partner is also veryyy lovely. I have never seen my ex and i think the curiosity also triggers into thinking about them ane the nightmarws of the never ending chase. The only thing that id like to do kind of if i saw them would be to ask, why? And to slap them so hard.
I am so sorry you had to go through something like that.. but I am glad you have an understanding partner. You are not a monster, just trying to deal with experiencing something so terrifying, and not knowing how. Therapy can really help, as well as trying to figure out some of your triggers so you can avoid them until you have other ways to cope :) xoxo
This happened to me on the phone with my dad almost a year ago, I completely lost it like I never had before, I was so glad no one was around to see but I was yelling loud enough that if the neighbors were outside they definitely heard me! I told my husband later about how I was so glad he wasn’t around to witness it but he told me it was ok to feel that way considering who it was that triggered me 😂 needless to say I was sick to my stomach for about 2 weeks didn’t eat for almost 1 of those it was weird I had never experienced that before and I never want to again so I avoid that man with certain topics as often as I can. Be kind to yourself we are doing the work 💜
instead of "am I overreacting" I ask myself if this is an appropriate amount of anxiety for this? is this anger the right size for this issue? is this fear coming from something else?
Trauma is so complicated. Some things that seemed like they would have been my nightmare traumas never bothered me but other small t's added up to some nasty big T's.
I have social trauma, and it's really hard. I have trauma from being bullied and socially excluded/isolated in my youth, so I crave community, but being around people and in community can be very difficult because it has been triggering this trauma a lot. I don't know what to do about it.
3:18 was something I needed to hear. I had no idea that a trauma trigger could be feeling safe... I ran from a situation where I was around people who genuinely loved and cared for me and was working on getting the help I desperately needed to move on with my PTSD back in the beginning of 2020, but I just ran from it altogether. Looking back on those moments, I had no idea why I did what I did, it just didn't make any sense to me until I heard those words. Thank you for this video.
And now thanks to your comment I'm realizing that one of my trauma triggers might be feeling safe. I'm basically running away from people who treat me nice and I've been feeling like absolute shit for the last 2 days thinking to myself "Why am I avoiding these nice people?". I'm literally about to lose it but now that things make a little bit more sense, I'll be better. Thank you a lot for your comment!! 💫💜🙂
@@Bprimemod Happy that my own realization could cause a chain reaction. Cheers to us realizing what causes these odd habits, and hopefully we can find ways to work around it in the future. Good luck to you (: I wish for only good things for you !
@@RNCHFND it is eye moment,Desensitisation and Reprocessing. I would go on BACP ( British association counselling practice) website and look at the info on there🙂
@@lauragadille3384 it’s really hard and you need to practice self soothing techniques regularly as when your in the sessions and ur accessing memories relating to the trauma it can bring up unpleasant feelings, which can bring on distress. I have been sent 40 sheets of distress tolerance info sheets. I am having to go back to when I was 8 onwards (experiences I had).
I'm in my 60s now and I've experienced extreme trauma since I was born, including sexual abuse by quite a few men AND women when I was a child! I still tend to get triggered regularly and the ONLY thing that seems to help me feel better is reliving the experiences, which is very difficult, or crying a lot, yet I'm not able to do that all the time, such as when I'm out. I do go to public bathrooms when I'm not able to control it though. Unfortunately, I still get criticised and judged by many people, including family members, even the ones who've experienced trauma themselves. I don't have time to write anymore now and couldn't hear the video, due to being in a noisy place, so I'll listen to it another time. ❤
I never realized that my trauma effected me as an adult until I started making a conscious effort to pay attention to how I react in situations that are actually or just perceived stress. I am in grad school working on my MSW. Just started this summer. I’m in my last summer class and there’s 60 of us in the class, about half on zoom and half in person. The classroom starts to get rowdy when we get breaks between. It’s a 3 hour class 3 nights a week from 6:00-9:30pm and usually lasts about that long. Clinical assessment class learning about the DSM-5 and diagnosing. My professor will raise her voice loudly and very aggressively to get our attention and then smiles and laughs when it gets silent and says she was trying to get the class to pay attention and nobody listened. I am pretty quiet and pay attention to her so I do hear her try to calmly get the rest of the classes attention and they do ignore her the first or second time. BUT…. When she yells, I instantly feel my body tense up, throat tighten, heart start racing, and I want to cry. I feel like I’m in trouble and she’s mad at me even though I wasn’t even the one talking. I have to actively tell myself that she’s not mad at me and I’m not bad. I have to remind myself I am safe and try not to be angry with her the first 10-15 minutes she starts teaching again… I want to tell her it instills a trauma response in me every single class when she does it, but I feel like I need to learn WHY I’m responding to that and get to the root of the problem and process through that. Not depend on my professor to change how she runs her class because of my trauma but she’s also “trauma informed” so I feel indifferent about what to do 🥺🙃
I am so sorry sweet heart. I can tell that this stirs up so much pain in you. You sound very intelligent btw and I get the feeling you are a kind and considerate person. I hate seeing people like that in pain or thinking they are bad.. It is hard to say what you should or shouldnt do.. but you could think about this... What if you simply just told her pretty much exactly what you wrote in this comment?? I do not know your teachers demeanor do that could turn out really good or really bad, but like I said you seem very intelligent so I think you will have a better idea.
I have combat-related PTSD. The VA sent me to a 3-month long inpatient treatment for Cognitive Processing Therapy. That was so invaluable to helping me with managing my triggers.
I've recently started Somatic Experiencing therapy after being diagnosed with C-PTSD, and was amazed at how much better I felt after even one session. So helpful to hear you mention SE, Kati. Thank you!
This couldn't have come at a better time! I'm usually pretty aware when I have an emotional trauma trigger, but this inspired me to be more observant of when it happens unconsciously. Thanks for all you do Kati :)
That’s right on time, I am having to deal with a trauma trigger right now (being treated like a child) and I’m just trying to figure it out and let it go out of my system so I can continue on with my day Thanks!
Hey, that is my trigger too! I get really defensive and have this intense saving face reaction. Sometimes after things calm down and I can go back and look at the situation more clearly, I notice that it is my misinterpretation of what was said that triggered me. It was some subtle change in their tone of voice or a harmless suggestion that I subconsciously related to an emotionally abusive care taker. There are times when it was totally the other individuals behavior causing the trigger, but they are the exception not the rule.. Soo... what happens to you when you feel like you are being belittled like a child? And I am sorry. I know how painful and small it can make you feel.
@@aaronmann9442 Wow, your description is on point! I usually get defensive, refuse whatever is being said to me although later I can revisit what was being said isolate my feelings and take the advice, but I don’t enjoy it whatsoever Feels like a constant battle with myself Ego comes in the way a lot too, making sure no one belittles me anymore
I am constantly going through trauma from a past abusive relationship. Sometimes I find myself over sharing with others around me (co-workers, friends, family) about these events and in hindsight I always wish I would’ve kept it to myself. This video helped me better identify when I am leaking my own personal info, so thank you.
The timing for this was great. I dissociate often but sometimes there isn't an obvious trigger that I can recall. I black out and feel like I'm not myself anymore. Thank you for giving the list of triggers it is very helpful.
Man I needed to see this video . I’ve been a firefighter for 21 years and it’s getting tougher and tougher to process the bad calls I respond to. Hopefully this book will give me some more clarity.
Thank you for serving your community. My father has lost quite a few firefighting employees to su!ide over the years and it's heartbreaking. It's such a selfless career choice and I'm sure everyone is thankful
@@maddiek3352 Thank you for your kind words. I love my career and would not change a thing. I try to mentor the new hire men and women to not to “suck it up and deal with it.” And to see a therapist. Currently we are losing more firefighters to suicide then fires nation wide. Police suicides are even worse. Especially in the last 3 years.
Something needs to be done to help firefighters and cops from suicide being the option to choose. I pray for you and all your co-workers. Thank you for your service.
Thank you. Your videos have helped me understand so much. I have NEVER had my diagnosis explained. I have not had much luck with most Therapists I have gone to. I never could explain things I go through because of DID. So much missing info. Your videos have helped me get a good footing on things I go through. Enough to do some real work. Thanks.
7:30 - I have only recently realized, though watching many videos like this, that my mother-in-law has been stuck in a 'freeze state' since her first husband tried to strangle her. She is literally frozen and has done hardly anything since then. The worst part? It was sometime around 1963-64, so she has been like this for nearly 60 years.
It's ironic that one of my triggers is the music from the nutcracker. Not sure why but everytime I hear it I get this shock running up my spine and I get put on edge.
2:38 Katie mentions things like "what song was playing"... as I'm actively trying to filter out the background music playing in this video that happens to be a triggering tune for me. Sigh... I hate how trauma triggers can be such benign everyday things.😕
ya it was EXTREMELY hard for me to focus on her words with that. i was afraid there'd be like explosions or fireworks or something around the corner. that song seems to trigger me
I never made the link between being safe/vulnerable and trauma. Things are really good with my therapist, yet i struggle a lot with her even if i know I'm safe and there's no judgement. Thank you Kati. Have a nice week! :)
This video actually helped me recognize some triggers and answer why I overreacted in some situations. I thought about breaking up with my boyfriend many times before of these overreactions. Thank you very much for this video
First of all, Congrats to everyone on here who keeps working on themselves every single day, even on those days we want to give up & disengage It is important to celebrate ourselves for the smallest of steps. Trauma is difficult & extremely painful.
I left a toxic controlling relationship in January that lasted a for years and I felt triggered by my sister doing similar things to me that my ex was doing so I was having flashbacks big time. Even though I'm in counseling, these videos are helpful.
This happened to me last week for some odd reason, I was getting trauma from stuff that happened in 2008, and even more recently in 2019. It was odd, but a few days ago I was having wild thoughts, and getting enraged, having ptsd from it. Happy Monday Kate, Have a great rest of your week my friend.
I have complex PTSD, I’m on the autism spectrum, and I have a physical disability that I don’t dare share publicly. I do get triggered a lot. But I feel like it’s a weakness for me to have emotions or feelings about those triggers. So I try my hardest to bottle them up and suppress them and not talk about them. I don’t exactly hate myself anymore like I used to. But I’m still very hard on myself for having flashbacks, or feelings or emotions. If I feel like someone is being mean to me when they might not really are being a bully, I tend to get defensive. I tend to be extremely harsh when I’m triggered. But the after effects are hard. Because after I’ve had an outburst, I look like myself like, why did I do that? I acted like a complete idiot. What the heck is my problem? Why the heck am I so darn mad?
Great video, thank you! So, instead of acting on impulse, the key for change is to make a coscious choice. Easier said than done, for sure, but it's a good and clear goal to aim to.
Kati, Thank you for making this video. I appreciate the types of questions you posed. Being one that prefers to get to the "root"... finding truth from all angles is key. Thanks for the insight💝
It's very interesting, particularly when you explain the reactions fight fly freeze in front of a danger, and the trauma happens when we freeze. Because that 's my response to triggers, and to traumas when fight or fly clearly didn' t work. I have CPTSD, very little traumas again and again in different ways and places (being autistic didn't help) , so triggers are everywhere.
Thank you so much! Your video makes so much sense! Now I understand why I was behaving and reacting the way I did the other day. My responses were confusing and over the top,
Whenever I see my mom interact with my sister's kids it sends me off the deep end. The way she melts down, huffs and puffs, yells, breathes heavily and just look like a nuclear power plant explosion in the making etc makes me sooo mad but also I HAVE to leave and avoid it. Can't deal with it, It does something to me that I cant put my finger on it. Next thing I'm stuck in mental limbo dissociated from the present and procrastinate from doing what I need to do.
Thank you for this video really needed.Just had a couple of things that did get to me. I’m getting a new therapist, because my old one is going to a different clinic. Moving and building a new home all the joys built into that. Staying at my parents while the house is being built, because our old home was sold really quick. Like what you said about your patient with making a scheduled routines, I’m trying to reform my own to get some sanity back and keep from the darker thoughts. If anyone got this far I wish you the best in your life, and if it is a rough day I than wish you the energy to make it through it.
Thanks from the UK Kati, I have pre-ordered your book. I am starting therapy soon, I really need it. Recognising triggers has been so hard and still presents a real challenge, I need to learn how to cope with them and the reactions they cause.
This came at a great time since this morning I have to go to the hospital where my husband passed away for tests. I have so much anxiety about going there but my daughter is going with me which will help a lot.
Love your channel. After many years of therapy and working to improve my self-awareness I now know I have many triggers (and why) and what they are. Such important information for me - amongst other things it's helped me know I'm okay and that it's perfectly normal to have triggers 🥰 Wanted to preorder your book but it's not available til mid-December in Australia. Will order then xx
13 a few years ago my 10th birthday me mum and others were going up the road to feed my grandpa but he died and the trauma trigger was looking out my rooms window in the same way( direction at the footpath) I see my aunt uncle and mum walk there crying while then I get confused and see my other uncle who was in my room keeping me company. Thank goodness my uncle kept me company the whole night after his death was revealed he read me a whole book etc thanks “Herby” for being there for me and thank you for making this video kati
Hi Katie, thank you so much for giving a better perspective on trauma triggers. I was just thinking about this over the weekend since I was in a situation and I felt like I was overreacting. That's always your videos have been a tremendous help for me in my mental health recovery and you always have such a good way of explaining things!! Xoxo I will definitely be sharing this with my clients as I work in the mental health field and have my own TH-cam channel as well!
This is a really helpful video for gaining some perspective. Your example of being triggered by being belittled is spot on for me. I get super defensive and lash out at the person followed by becoming overly apologetic. Then when I am alone I ruminate and self depreciate. To cope sometimes I notice that I verbalise this harsh inner critic to others and I am trying to.explore that in more depth. Part of me thinks it is an extream measure to take in order to have my exeriences validated and understood since I am accustomed to the opposite. It is very destructive to say the least. Does anyone have suggestions for a book on this topic? Ideally one providing healthy coping mechanisms and tools?
I had trauma triggers a few years ago from an advert on TV where people were hit across the head to show abuse. I wrote to the charity who the advert was made for and they told me to get therapy, which wasn't helpful at all. Luckily there were so many complaints that the advert was taken off TV so I didn't have to suffer through them on a daily basis, but it did make me think about how many people suffered the same trauma as I did growing up. When I finally did get some therapy, we didn't touch on the trauma I suffered growing up because I had to be coached to be able to talk through the abuse that I suffered as a child.
I like the advice to try to channel energy outward! In the past I avoided boxing (seemed too aggressive) and yoga (seemed too contemplative) but a mix of both has been helpful lately. The one advice I have for others trying this is to try to take it easy and listen to your body when you can. I find that I can be more injury prone because I tend to feel a bit more disconnected from my body and tend to suppress feelings of pain. I’ve limited my self to going to classes two times a week and find that works for me. If I want to move on other days, I’ll go for a walk.
Could you talk about trauma triggers with bpd? My Fiancée has bpd and many trauma triggers which will make her dissociate or completely avoid anything that has to do with that trigger
@@annieg1812 thank you so much! And I appreciate your support. Luckily I am very patient but my Fiancée is in a very toxic environment that doesn’t believe in mental health. But we’re getting married next year so I know it will be much easier on her.
I asked my parents for therapy separately, they both listened then never brought it up again. I think I may have Dysthymia, I'm a teenager but I relate to lots of the adult symptoms. We have Mass Health and I don't know if our insurance will cover it or where to go from here.
Had a trauma trigger today and I have a hard time snapping out of that flight or fight response. My stomach is in knots. Really looking forward to my therapy session this week. Was really having a good day and saw someone who triggers me and she made a comment an ambiguous comment about my outfit. I was blindsided reliving unpleasant interactions I had with this person, and now thinking about it some childhood trauma about relentless bullying.
Losing one's sense of self is only good when it's done to the max. People report life-changing spiritual experiences where they felt there was no meaningful difference between them and the rest of the universe, and that's about the most you can lose track of your self. But half-assing it can be disconcerting or scary.
Every time I talk to a new person, I feel trauma response and it makes me unwilling to meet new people. It seems that I won’t ever be with anyone in my life, everything hurts
Same. One track mind is another sign of an HSP. It must have been added after. As an HSP, Kati wouldn't have been able to think with music in the BG perhaps?
Instead of over reacting i pull back.. and most times shut down...it use to be anger and sometimes rage..i was triggered today.. i processed it and questioned was what i was feeling valid feelings..
I’m traumatized from losing so so many people and things in life. I’ve lost a lot of cousins, and family, but recently it’s been my pets. I’ve lost about 4 dogs in a year, they were either old or accidents. I feel like my heart is empty and every inch of my body is broken. I feel like I have nothing to lose. I don’t have any of my best friends by me anymore and I don’t want to accept they are gone. I miss them so much. Nobody understands. I was with my puppy Harley through my parents divorce, losing my other dogs, my mom getting into drugs. Etc. and now my poor baby is gone. I’m so broken. Every day and every morning is just me crying and scared to lose the people in my life. I can’t move on. It’s crippling.
This has been my experience at work lately, my manager said something to me with a certain tone of voice, a certain kind of way, a way that I felt shamed and almost scapegoated, it caused me to want to lash out, it definitely caused me to shut down. Yeah it felt like I was being talked down to. And now that you mention it part of it was that I felt too safe, too vulnerable, and I got talked down to for it. Now it's causing me to want to shut down and put my armor up.
I appreciate your info, as usual Kati. However, I was hoping for in-the-moment advice on being triggered as well. Also, I found the music distracting, overstimulating, and annoying because I had to put a lot of effort into focusing on what you're saying.
Hi Kati, could you do a video on the importance of finding the right therapist and approach to therapy combination if you haven’t already? My last therapist would just tell me to talk and not discuss my problems and wouldn’t give me any direction
how do I know if I should stop seeing my therapist? everyone who knows him really rates him and he’s helped me to find the root of a lot of my trauma but I feel like he’s not actually helping me to cure that trauma, he just says that’s something I need to do on my own (?) any advice?
He is right. A therapist can offer you some insightful perspectives into your issues and problematic behavior. They can help identify specific traumatic events or show you several smaller much more frequent ones that have become the foundation for problematic defenses arose from... but how could he cure your trauma?? You would need a time machine to travel back in time and alter history to do that. Even with a time machine haha you would still have it. I mean think about it. The very act of being born into this life is utterly traumatizing. I do not mean to say this cynically, but life itself could be seen as a series of traumas. What you refer to curing is how you have become accustomed to responding to trauma. Only you have the ability to recondition your response. The fact that you say everyone hates him and he had done a good job identifying your trauma is what makes me think he is a gifted shrink hahaha. Im not even going to tell you if u should keep seeing him. We both know how silly that is
Trauma is very tough. So I wish everyone with trauma good luck with recovery.
Everyone has it. Not one person living doesn’t have trauma. Just something to keep in mind
❤ thank you, you too
My brother tjinks i have it but sytoms hwving trqmua things happen peole cause damage inside outside
Recovery...it's been 30 years n I'm still not there yet...aint life grand.
But yeah I hope we all recover.
Thank you, you to god bless you❤
Just dealing with trauma, is a trauma for me in itself, trying to watch this video gave me a huge burst of anxiety
Especially since the main advice was talk to your therapist 🙄
I started constant therapy after years and I feel very fragile and I find myself crying and feeling the return of a lot of my childhood anxieties and fears, but that is working through trauma, it beings up the past so you can work through it. It's hard and painful but its nessicary.
Something happened in my current relationship that reminded me of an emotionally abusive relationship, it caused me to go into a PTSD rage (screaming and yelling, crying and running around the streets). My partner is amazing and I feel like such a monster for having that reaction.
im still having nightmares of the online relationship ive had with my ex and i dream of various things, me chasing them etc even tho i have my bf right now and i would like to slap that ex for what he did. so i totally understand you, hope you get through it soon. :( my partner is also veryyy lovely. I have never seen my ex and i think the curiosity also triggers into thinking about them ane the nightmarws of the never ending chase. The only thing that id like to do kind of if i saw them would be to ask, why? And to slap them so hard.
I am so sorry you had to go through something like that.. but I am glad you have an understanding partner. You are not a monster, just trying to deal with experiencing something so terrifying, and not knowing how. Therapy can really help, as well as trying to figure out some of your triggers so you can avoid them until you have other ways to cope :) xoxo
This happened to me on the phone with my dad almost a year ago, I completely lost it like I never had before, I was so glad no one was around to see but I was yelling loud enough that if the neighbors were outside they definitely heard me! I told my husband later about how I was so glad he wasn’t around to witness it but he told me it was ok to feel that way considering who it was that triggered me 😂 needless to say I was sick to my stomach for about 2 weeks didn’t eat for almost 1 of those it was weird I had never experienced that before and I never want to again so I avoid that man with certain topics as often as I can. Be kind to yourself we are doing the work 💜
Needed this right now! Thank you for this video 🥰
Hugs. I understand.
instead of "am I overreacting" I ask myself if this is an appropriate amount of anxiety for this? is this anger the right size for this issue? is this fear coming from something else?
I love this
Imma writing this in my journal. Thanks! 😌
Good one, we need to work on our fight and flight as well and try to combat it when we feel it coming on.
Trauma is so complicated. Some things that seemed like they would have been my nightmare traumas never bothered me but other small t's added up to some nasty big T's.
Haha big Ts. I like that
For anyone who is curious, the music is Waltz of the Flowers from The Nutcracker by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
I have social trauma, and it's really hard. I have trauma from being bullied and socially excluded/isolated in my youth, so I crave community, but being around people and in community can be very difficult because it has been triggering this trauma a lot. I don't know what to do about it.
we re the same, bullying in junior and high school really affects me in certain way.....
3:18 was something I needed to hear. I had no idea that a trauma trigger could be feeling safe... I ran from a situation where I was around people who genuinely loved and cared for me and was working on getting the help I desperately needed to move on with my PTSD back in the beginning of 2020, but I just ran from it altogether. Looking back on those moments, I had no idea why I did what I did, it just didn't make any sense to me until I heard those words.
Thank you for this video.
And now thanks to your comment I'm realizing that one of my trauma triggers might be feeling safe. I'm basically running away from people who treat me nice and I've been feeling like absolute shit for the last 2 days thinking to myself "Why am I avoiding these nice people?". I'm literally about to lose it but now that things make a little bit more sense, I'll be better. Thank you a lot for your comment!! 💫💜🙂
@@Bprimemod Happy that my own realization could cause a chain reaction. Cheers to us realizing what causes these odd habits, and hopefully we can find ways to work around it in the future. Good luck to you (: I wish for only good things for you !
This couldn’t come at a better time. I have had childhood traumas (junior school) and currently going through EMDR therapy. Thanx Kate x 🤗
Of course!! I hope the information is helpful :) xoxo
What is EMDR therapy?
Does that work?
@@RNCHFND it is eye moment,Desensitisation and Reprocessing. I would go on BACP ( British association counselling practice) website and look at the info on there🙂
@@lauragadille3384 it’s really hard and you need to practice self soothing techniques regularly as when your in the sessions and ur accessing memories relating to the trauma it can bring up unpleasant feelings, which can bring on distress. I have been sent 40 sheets of distress tolerance info sheets. I am having to go back to when I was 8 onwards (experiences I had).
I'm in my 60s now and I've experienced extreme trauma since I was born, including sexual abuse by quite a few men AND women when I was a child!
I still tend to get triggered regularly and the ONLY thing that seems to help me feel better is reliving the experiences, which is very difficult, or crying a lot, yet I'm not able to do that all the time, such as when I'm out. I do go to public bathrooms when I'm not able to control it though.
Unfortunately, I still get criticised and judged by many people, including family members, even the ones who've experienced trauma themselves.
I don't have time to write anymore now and couldn't hear the video, due to being in a noisy place, so I'll listen to it another time. ❤
Take care please! Thanks for sharing
I never realized that my trauma effected me as an adult until I started making a conscious effort to pay attention to how I react in situations that are actually or just perceived stress.
I am in grad school working on my MSW. Just started this summer. I’m in my last summer class and there’s 60 of us in the class, about half on zoom and half in person. The classroom starts to get rowdy when we get breaks between. It’s a 3 hour class 3 nights a week from 6:00-9:30pm and usually lasts about that long. Clinical assessment class learning about the DSM-5 and diagnosing.
My professor will raise her voice loudly and very aggressively to get our attention and then smiles and laughs when it gets silent and says she was trying to get the class to pay attention and nobody listened. I am pretty quiet and pay attention to her so I do hear her try to calmly get the rest of the classes attention and they do ignore her the first or second time. BUT….
When she yells, I instantly feel my body tense up, throat tighten, heart start racing, and I want to cry. I feel like I’m in trouble and she’s mad at me even though I wasn’t even the one talking. I have to actively tell myself that she’s not mad at me and I’m not bad. I have to remind myself I am safe and try not to be angry with her the first 10-15 minutes she starts teaching again…
I want to tell her it instills a trauma response in me every single class when she does it, but I feel like I need to learn WHY I’m responding to that and get to the root of the problem and process through that. Not depend on my professor to change how she runs her class because of my trauma but she’s also “trauma informed” so I feel indifferent about what to do 🥺🙃
I am so sorry sweet heart. I can tell that this stirs up so much pain in you. You sound very intelligent btw and I get the feeling you are a kind and considerate person. I hate seeing people like that in pain or thinking they are bad..
It is hard to say what you should or shouldnt do.. but you could think about this... What if you simply just told her pretty much exactly what you wrote in this comment?? I do not know your teachers demeanor do that could turn out really good or really bad, but like I said you seem very intelligent so I think you will have a better idea.
I have combat-related PTSD. The VA sent me to a 3-month long inpatient treatment for Cognitive Processing Therapy. That was so invaluable to helping me with managing my triggers.
I've recently started Somatic Experiencing therapy after being diagnosed with C-PTSD, and was amazed at how much better I felt after even one session. So helpful to hear you mention SE, Kati. Thank you!
This couldn't have come at a better time! I'm usually pretty aware when I have an emotional trauma trigger, but this inspired me to be more observant of when it happens unconsciously. Thanks for all you do Kati :)
That’s right on time, I am having to deal with a trauma trigger right now (being treated like a child) and I’m just trying to figure it out and let it go out of my system so I can continue on with my day
Thanks!
Hey, that is my trigger too! I get really defensive and have this intense saving face reaction. Sometimes after things calm down and I can go back and look at the situation more clearly, I notice that it is my misinterpretation of what was said that triggered me. It was some subtle change in their tone of voice or a harmless suggestion that I subconsciously related to an emotionally abusive care taker. There are times when it was totally the other individuals behavior causing the trigger, but they are the exception not the rule..
Soo... what happens to you when you feel like you are being belittled like a child? And I am sorry. I know how painful and small it can make you feel.
@@aaronmann9442 Wow, your description is on point!
I usually get defensive, refuse whatever is being said to me although later I can revisit what was being said isolate my feelings and take the advice, but I don’t enjoy it whatsoever
Feels like a constant battle with myself
Ego comes in the way a lot too, making sure no one belittles me anymore
@@alaamakeup could you imagine if we got married. Yikes haha
Cool vid. Experienced a flashback in front of my therapist today. She was nice 😊
I am so sorry you had one, but so glad your therapist was kind :) xoxo
@@Katimorton she is a good one. One I have been on a journey with her 🙂
I am constantly going through trauma from a past abusive relationship. Sometimes I find myself over sharing with others around me (co-workers, friends, family) about these events and in hindsight I always wish I would’ve kept it to myself. This video helped me better identify when I am leaking my own personal info, so thank you.
The timing for this was great. I dissociate often but sometimes there isn't an obvious trigger that I can recall. I black out and feel like I'm not myself anymore. Thank you for giving the list of triggers it is very helpful.
I dissociate too now everyday
Man I needed to see this video . I’ve been a firefighter for 21 years and it’s getting tougher and tougher to process the bad calls I respond to. Hopefully this book will give me some more clarity.
Thank you for serving your community. My father has lost quite a few firefighting employees to su!ide over the years and it's heartbreaking. It's such a selfless career choice and I'm sure everyone is thankful
@@maddiek3352 Thank you for your kind words. I love my career and would not change a thing. I try to mentor the new hire men and women to not to “suck it up and deal with it.” And to see a therapist. Currently we are losing more firefighters to suicide then fires nation wide. Police suicides are even worse. Especially in the last 3 years.
Something needs to be done to help firefighters and cops from suicide being the option to choose. I pray for you and all your co-workers. Thank you for your service.
Thank you. Your videos have helped me understand so much. I have NEVER had my diagnosis explained. I have not had much luck with most Therapists I have gone to. I never could explain things I go through because of DID. So much missing info. Your videos have helped me get a good footing on things I go through. Enough to do some real work. Thanks.
Does the book talk about CPTSD too?
i believe she said she wrote about CPTSD as well in the book!
I dont get why CPTSD is not in the DSM V
7:30 - I have only recently realized, though watching many videos like this, that my mother-in-law has been stuck in a 'freeze state' since her first husband tried to strangle her. She is literally frozen and has done hardly anything since then. The worst part? It was sometime around 1963-64, so she has been like this for nearly 60 years.
I was diagnosed with Ptsd this year and can’t get trauma therapy because i’m still in the middle of the trauma. So i will definitely get your book.
Im confused?
It's ironic that one of my triggers is the music from the nutcracker.
Not sure why but everytime I hear it I get this shock running up my spine and I get put on edge.
same. i'm nervous that there will be fireworks going off in a minute or so or something. it was so hard for me to pay attention to her words
I have been dealing with trauma and my therapist has helped me out so much. So much work has been done.
2:38 Katie mentions things like "what song was playing"... as I'm actively trying to filter out the background music playing in this video that happens to be a triggering tune for me. Sigh... I hate how trauma triggers can be such benign everyday things.😕
That song is meme'd too much in movies for comedic effect. Maybe that's the point though? Kind of genius on Katie's part if that's true.
ya it was EXTREMELY hard for me to focus on her words with that. i was afraid there'd be like explosions or fireworks or something around the corner. that song seems to trigger me
I never made the link between being safe/vulnerable and trauma. Things are really good with my therapist, yet i struggle a lot with her even if i know I'm safe and there's no judgement. Thank you Kati.
Have a nice week! :)
Kati, I hope you know how amazing you are! Thank you for everything you do
This is really good. I’ve been recently started to pay attention to my triggers, every detail is important
This video actually helped me recognize some triggers and answer why I overreacted in some situations. I thought about breaking up with my boyfriend many times before of these overreactions. Thank you very much for this video
This came at the right time
Thank you so much 🥰🥰
Another great video! Trauma can be the smallest thing. It's good to figure out the small triggers or the ones we don't even think about.
First of all, Congrats to everyone on here who keeps working on themselves every single day, even on those days we want to give up & disengage It is important to celebrate ourselves for the smallest of steps. Trauma is difficult & extremely painful.
Trauma is challenging - thank you for breaking down this topic with tangible action steps. Congratulations on your new book too!
really appreciate your videos Lady Morton, understanding alone can be healing by itself (at least to me)
sometimes just getting on with life, getting out of bed, to work, to read and exercise is good,,,,,don't over think it
Thank you, Kati!!!! Great message, and I look forward to your new book 📖 Congratulations :)
Thank you so much Claudia :) Have a good week!!!!
Omg you made a whole book on things I’ve wanted to learn so much about specifically THANK YOUUUU as soon as I get paid I’m pre ordering it I luv you 💕
I left a toxic controlling relationship in January that lasted a for years and I felt triggered by my sister doing similar things to me that my ex was doing so I was having flashbacks big time. Even though I'm in counseling, these videos are helpful.
this video was perfect timing for me. dealing with these trauma triggers tonight and am trying to not let my mind go wild. Thanks for this
This happened to me last week for some odd reason, I was getting trauma from stuff that happened in 2008, and even more recently in 2019. It was odd, but a few days ago I was having wild thoughts, and getting enraged, having ptsd from it. Happy Monday Kate, Have a great rest of your week my friend.
I am going to look for that book❤
I have complex PTSD, I’m on the autism spectrum, and I have a physical disability that I don’t dare share publicly. I do get triggered a lot. But I feel like it’s a weakness for me to have emotions or feelings about those triggers. So I try my hardest to bottle them up and suppress them and not talk about them. I don’t exactly hate myself anymore like I used to. But I’m still very hard on myself for having flashbacks, or feelings or emotions. If I feel like someone is being mean to me when they might not really are being a bully, I tend to get defensive. I tend to be extremely harsh when I’m triggered. But the after effects are hard. Because after I’ve had an outburst, I look like myself like, why did I do that? I acted like a complete idiot. What the heck is my problem? Why the heck am I so darn mad?
Perfect timing, thank you!
Great video. Just what I needed. Thanks, Katie. Appreciate your videos.
Great video, thank you! So, instead of acting on impulse, the key for change is to make a coscious choice. Easier said than done, for sure, but it's a good and clear goal to aim to.
I’m so happy I discover you again. Have a great day Kati
Name it to tame it. Feel it to heal it.
I like that. Its true
My biggest trigger is the different seasons and how the sun shines in its lighting . Its pretty hard around this time of year. Its also hard to avoid
Great topic .... Im dealing with it. Mental health is really complex
Kati, Thank you for making this video.
I appreciate the types of questions you posed.
Being one that prefers to get to the "root"... finding truth from all angles is key.
Thanks for the insight💝
It's very interesting, particularly when you explain the reactions fight fly freeze in front of a danger, and the trauma happens when we freeze. Because that 's my response to triggers, and to traumas when fight or fly clearly didn' t work. I have CPTSD, very little traumas again and again in different ways and places (being autistic didn't help) , so triggers are everywhere.
Thank you so much Kati. Book looks wonderful.
Thank you so much! Your video makes so much sense! Now I understand why I was behaving and reacting the way I did the other day. My responses were confusing and over the top,
Whenever I see my mom interact with my sister's kids it sends me off the deep end. The way she melts down, huffs and puffs, yells, breathes heavily and just look like a nuclear power plant explosion in the making etc makes me sooo mad but also I HAVE to leave and avoid it. Can't deal with it, It does something to me that I cant put my finger on it. Next thing I'm stuck in mental limbo dissociated from the present and procrastinate from doing what I need to do.
Thank you for this video really needed.Just had a couple of things that did get to me. I’m getting a new therapist, because my old one is going to a different clinic. Moving and building a new home all the joys built into that. Staying at my parents while the house is being built, because our old home was sold really quick. Like what you said about your patient with making a scheduled routines, I’m trying to reform my own to get some sanity back and keep from the darker thoughts. If anyone got this far I wish you the best in your life, and if it is a rough day I than wish you the energy to make it through it.
this was good and i am really glad you talked about this, i have gone through trama too. thanks kati love you
Thanks Kati, but I found the backing music very distracting on this video.
I just ordered your book! Hopefully it'll provide a fresh window on dealing with trauma.
I hope you find it insightful and helps you on your path. Thank you for ordering, Harper. I appreciate it 🙌🙌
Thanks from the UK Kati, I have pre-ordered your book. I am starting therapy soon, I really need it. Recognising triggers has been so hard and still presents a real challenge, I need to learn how to cope with them and the reactions they cause.
When you're very interested by the topic but the music used in the video is part of your triggers 😅
Thanks for all your videos, it helps a lot !
This came at a great time since this morning I have to go to the hospital where my husband passed away for tests. I have so much anxiety about going there but my daughter is going with me which will help a lot.
Love your channel. After many years of therapy and working to improve my self-awareness I now know I have many triggers (and why) and what they are. Such important information for me - amongst other things it's helped me know I'm okay and that it's perfectly normal to have triggers 🥰 Wanted to preorder your book but it's not available til mid-December in Australia. Will order then xx
Thanks Kati. I appreciate your helpful knowledge.
Your the best doing this while on your vacation hope you have a great vacation and anniversary
13 a few years ago my 10th birthday me mum and others were going up the road to feed my grandpa but he died and the trauma trigger was looking out my rooms window in the same way( direction at the footpath) I see my aunt uncle and mum walk there crying while then I get confused and see my other uncle who was in my room keeping me company. Thank goodness my uncle kept me company the whole night after his death was revealed he read me a whole book etc thanks “Herby” for being there for me and thank you for making this video kati
Hi Katie, thank you so much for giving a better perspective on trauma triggers. I was just thinking about this over the weekend since I was in a situation and I felt like I was overreacting. That's always your videos have been a tremendous help for me in my mental health recovery and you always have such a good way of explaining things!! Xoxo
I will definitely be sharing this with my clients as I work in the mental health field and have my own TH-cam channel as well!
Thank you Kati, I definitely have unconscious trauma triggers.
Thank you, Kati as always love what you do.
Waltz of the flowers. Nice calming piece to balance the topic lol
This is a really helpful video for gaining some perspective. Your example of being triggered by being belittled is spot on for me. I get super defensive and lash out at the person followed by becoming overly apologetic. Then when I am alone I ruminate and self depreciate. To cope sometimes I notice that I verbalise this harsh inner critic to others and I am trying to.explore that in more depth. Part of me thinks it is an extream measure to take in order to have my exeriences validated and understood since I am accustomed to the opposite. It is very destructive to say the least. Does anyone have suggestions for a book on this topic? Ideally one providing healthy coping mechanisms and tools?
I hate dreaming about my trauma . It’s been years and I still dream about it. Last week I woke up crying. Man …it’s like I’m fighting demons .
Thank-you so much for this video❤
I had trauma triggers a few years ago from an advert on TV where people were hit across the head to show abuse. I wrote to the charity who the advert was made for and they told me to get therapy, which wasn't helpful at all. Luckily there were so many complaints that the advert was taken off TV so I didn't have to suffer through them on a daily basis, but it did make me think about how many people suffered the same trauma as I did growing up. When I finally did get some therapy, we didn't touch on the trauma I suffered growing up because I had to be coached to be able to talk through the abuse that I suffered as a child.
Yess I've been waiting for this video :) ❤️
I hope it's helpful!! xoxo
As always, thanks Katie
Thank you 🙏 you channel is so informative and life changing❤️ keep it up Kati
I ordered your book ,can't wait to read it
OMG i was just looking into this!!! the way you made and uploaded this video at the same time!!! 💗
I like the advice to try to channel energy outward! In the past I avoided boxing (seemed too aggressive) and yoga (seemed too contemplative) but a mix of both has been helpful lately. The one advice I have for others trying this is to try to take it easy and listen to your body when you can. I find that I can be more injury prone because I tend to feel a bit more disconnected from my body and tend to suppress feelings of pain. I’ve limited my self to going to classes two times a week and find that works for me. If I want to move on other days, I’ll go for a walk.
You mention fight, flight, and freeze. I’m wondering if you have seen fawn included and if that has a similar effect as being stuck in freeze does?
Oh wow. Good and accurate observation.
Could you talk about trauma triggers with bpd? My Fiancée has bpd and many trauma triggers which will make her dissociate or completely avoid anything that has to do with that trigger
@@annieg1812 thank you so much! And I appreciate your support. Luckily I am very patient but my Fiancée is in a very toxic environment that doesn’t believe in mental health. But we’re getting married next year so I know it will be much easier on her.
I asked my parents for therapy separately, they both listened then never brought it up again. I think I may have Dysthymia, I'm a teenager but I relate to lots of the adult symptoms. We have Mass Health and I don't know if our insurance will cover it or where to go from here.
Had a trauma trigger today and I have a hard time snapping out of that flight or fight response. My stomach is in knots. Really looking forward to my therapy session this week. Was really having a good day and saw someone who triggers me and she made a comment an ambiguous comment about my outfit. I was blindsided reliving unpleasant interactions I had with this person, and now thinking about it some childhood trauma about relentless bullying.
Losing one's sense of self is only good when it's done to the max. People report life-changing spiritual experiences where they felt there was no meaningful difference between them and the rest of the universe, and that's about the most you can lose track of your self. But half-assing it can be disconcerting or scary.
such a perfect video with immense quality Kati! I hope I see your book soon in stores in Pakistan lol
Omg im so so pleased I just found your channel and uts perfect timing too which is weird x but thank you so much for your great amazing channel x
Thank you Ma'am.
Congratulations to you. Im so happy about your new book 💖💖💖💖💖
Every time I talk to a new person, I feel trauma response and it makes me unwilling to meet new people. It seems that I won’t ever be with anyone in my life, everything hurts
And this video won't have helped much
The background music is hugely distractive. I can't focus on your words because of it
Same. One track mind is another sign of an HSP. It must have been added after. As an HSP, Kati wouldn't have been able to think with music in the BG perhaps?
Yes it is very distracting and hard to focus.
😂😂😂
Instead of over reacting i pull back.. and most times shut down...it use to be anger and sometimes rage..i was triggered today.. i processed it and questioned was what i was feeling valid feelings..
I’m traumatized from losing so so many people and things in life. I’ve lost a lot of cousins, and family, but recently it’s been my pets. I’ve lost about 4 dogs in a year, they were either old or accidents. I feel like my heart is empty and every inch of my body is broken. I feel like I have nothing to lose. I don’t have any of my best friends by me anymore and I don’t want to accept they are gone. I miss them so much. Nobody understands. I was with my puppy Harley through my parents divorce, losing my other dogs, my mom getting into drugs. Etc. and now my poor baby is gone. I’m so broken. Every day and every morning is just me crying and scared to lose the people in my life. I can’t move on. It’s crippling.
This has been my experience at work lately, my manager said something to me with a certain tone of voice, a certain kind of way, a way that I felt shamed and almost scapegoated, it caused me to want to lash out, it definitely caused me to shut down.
Yeah it felt like I was being talked down to. And now that you mention it part of it was that I felt too safe, too vulnerable, and I got talked down to for it. Now it's causing me to want to shut down and put my armor up.
I appreciate your info, as usual Kati. However, I was hoping for in-the-moment advice on being triggered as well. Also, I found the music distracting, overstimulating, and annoying because I had to put a lot of effort into focusing on what you're saying.
Im sure you could pay for a therapist to get in the moment advice with-out the very subtle and calming music in the background.
I also have a very difficult time focusing on the words when there is music in the background.
Congrats on your new book 👏
Congrats on your new book! I will be ordering! Is there a version to listen?
Hi Kati, could you do a video on the importance of finding the right therapist and approach to therapy combination if you haven’t already? My last therapist would just tell me to talk and not discuss my problems and wouldn’t give me any direction
That intro featuring the flower waltz instantly lightened my mood 😅
But it also kept distracting me throughout the video 😬
how do I know if I should stop seeing my therapist? everyone who knows him really rates him and he’s helped me to find the root of a lot of my trauma but I feel like he’s not actually helping me to cure that trauma, he just says that’s something I need to do on my own (?) any advice?
He is right. A therapist can offer you some insightful perspectives into your issues and problematic behavior. They can help identify specific traumatic events or show you several smaller much more frequent ones that have become the foundation for problematic defenses arose from... but how could he cure your trauma?? You would need a time machine to travel back in time and alter history to do that. Even with a time machine haha you would still have it. I mean think about it. The very act of being born into this life is utterly traumatizing. I do not mean to say this cynically, but life itself could be seen as a series of traumas. What you refer to curing is how you have become accustomed to responding to trauma. Only you have the ability to recondition your response. The fact that you say everyone hates him and he had done a good job identifying your trauma is what makes me think he is a gifted shrink hahaha. Im not even going to tell you if u should keep seeing him. We both know how silly that is
Great content bless you 🌹