The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TEDxHouston
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2010
- Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions: How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to embrace our imperfections and to recognize that we are enough -- that we are worthy of love, belonging and joy? Brené is the author of I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power (2007) and the forthcoming books, The Gifts of Imperfection (2010) and Wholehearted: Spiritual Adventures in Falling Apart, Growing Up, and Finding Joy ( 2011).
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"You know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you're worthy of Love and Belonging." -Dr Brene Brown
Powerful...❤️👊🏾
Wonderful.
She is so wonderful. This changed my way of thinking. Love her.
👍👍👍👍👍
@@docbeepsjb qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqaa1
Fully embrace vulnerability!
Have the courage to be imperfect!
Do things without guarantees of success.
Feeling worthiness is the key!
Let go of who you think you should be and just be!
You are good enough!
You are worthy of love and belonging!
You are enough!
what risks did you take ? cheat on your husband without getting caught? LOL
As a perfectionist, I need to listen to this every day. There is so much important material in this talk, it is hard to take it all in at one hearing. She only sneaks in the truth, however, that children who grow up to believe they are worthy of love and belonging, are raised by parents who give them that message. The rest of us are severely wounded and need deep and ongoing healing. Practicing gratitude and vulnerability is not so easy for those of us with this wound, but powerful medicine.
Exactly.
So true, thanks for sharing Sharon
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@dreyfalex: Each one of us is unique, though, and that's the point that makes all the difference -- I grew up being raised by parents who loved me, nurtured me, supported me, and gave me the most wonderful life they possibly could (and it was estimable, since my Father was in the U.S. Army and we traveled overseas, and I was exposed to the good, honorable, artful, beautiful, and loving things in life) -- but I still have experienced the woundedness and need for deep and ongoing healing that you describe -- and I’m 75 -- But perhaps it came to me from another lifetime... perhaps I took the pain on to be inspired and moved to seek the experience for myself so I could become aware of and learn how to share the way through it with you and others in like pain… the shame... we never know. The Universe is 'waaay bigger than you -- we -- imagine, and the storylines and possibilities are WAAAAY HUGER than you’ve likely imagined. Watch a bunch of NDE videos on YT, and begin to get the Bigger Picture and see what the real story is -- thru each other unique person’s eyes and experience -- each and every story is different -- unique (look it up!) -- NONE OTHER EXACTLY LIKE IT -- and yet, It Still All Comes Down To LOVE, no matter the road and experiences we've followed to get ourselves there...
I'm here October 10 2022 and I have to say this woman speaks beautifully. Her choice of words and diction is top notch. I'm glad she didn't beat around the bush making pointless quotes and referencing other people or their works, she just hits the nail on the head.
I can listen to her speak for hours, She's very commendable
“Blame: a way to discharge pain and discomfort” it shed lights on why some people in my life were so harsh.
I love how the way she concludes. "That's all I have" captures the essence of the struggle between shame and self acceptance wonderfully.
do the little thing in your life that for poor people that help your feeling make you feel worthty that anti depress or you pray for other with your pure heart that you can
The way she speaks makes you feel like she's having a conversation with you one on one. Very enjoyable.
griffin0886 que momonn
Soul connection.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
and not vulnerable, I'd say.
Lyy
"They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were." Incredible, yet much easier said than done.
The words of this woman has helped me constantly through my three years of depression. I know her words will help me again in the future. Keep this video in your watch later; it will always help.
Roger Kelly kkk
Roger Kelly ln mlo
did u find out you are gay?
Listen to Louise L Hay, she help me a lot in my worst moments, :)
Same! Love her.
I could listen to her talk for hours ! She is such a great speaker.
You should read her book Daring Greatly!!
Having parents who couldn’t show that to themselves meant they raised children who didn’t know how to show it to themselves either, parenting is such a massive contributor to this.
This is so so deep. I can’t believe this was 12 years ago. We could all use this lesson today. Much of our issues is coming from our lack of self of awareness.
WOW! Ironically I used the word Wholeheartedly on a video years ago at my brother's wedding. I had no idea others would make fun of me for using that word. I let that experience affect my self image for years. Thank you for this research story. You created a breakthrough in my life today. I live wholeheartedly and choose to speak authentically and lovingly embrace times when people, even family, make fun of me or don't quite get me! Thank you for giving me back the permission to be me.
Wow! Inspiring words. Always be true to yourself x
It takes courage to live wholeheartedly and to speak your Truth, be your authentic self. I try to be my authentic self, which defies the Asian stereotypes that Society puts on my race, and is not met with acceptance by a lot of White folks. But I've gotta be me, so I forge onwards, and keep breaking those stereotypes!
If you get here, give me a call. Callie, Mandie, Jeannie or Bobbie! 💗💗💗💗
Ohh, jvyoga, it makes me so happy to hear that you finally found relief and expanded awareness for yourself thru Brené's words (me too today)!! And the ironic part is -- see how loving and FAR AHEAD you actually were, instead of the "behind and less-than" as you imagined then... Great congratulations, and wishing you even more happiness to come...
I have the same issues of family not always getting me. I live wholeheartedly as well.
That was nine years ago and it still feels like cutting edge clarity on something that underpins everything we do and are. Brilliant.
Vulnerability for me is laying your heart and your flaws at someone’s feet and hoping to (whatever you believe in) that they don’t stomp all over it... and then being ok within yourself if they do. Being able to love yourself enough to know that that behaviour is fear and pain, not malicious intent. For the most part.
If you're reading this you are loved, you are beautiful, you are strong, and someone out here in this big ole world thinks you are amazing. Thank you for being you!
I wish.
I watched this on netflix last night and i think I'm starting to have my own breakdown. Never realized how my lack of outward vulnerability has completely shaped my life today. I'm definitely one of those that would fall into the category of struggling with connection and acceptance.
Vulnerability is not always good. It can be detrimental with the wrong people. For people who appreciate it and understand how it help the connection, then yes!
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Yes , I’m one of them..
@@suzannahjames5264 B0g98hy9hy9
Keep reading and listening to Brene 😊 she shares about who deserves your vulnerability in ways that encourage you to hold your boundaries and your worth
To be called a story teller is, in fact, a huge compliment.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
It's true, as a college student, i've been vulnerable to my roommates, which changed my life in what i believe of connection. I was drawn so much closer when my roommates and I shared our darkest hurting secrets. From experience, I agree with her message.
I am the person that LOVES ALL my emotions. I wallow AND Celebrate....I like the highs and the lows and I can tell you that MOST people think I'm crazy - when I tell them to 'embrace, the sorrow' and "THAT is LIFE happening in your life"...I think that we do not want to feel and I cannot figure out WHY. Thank you for a little bit of clarity. I give (as a gift) your TED talk to my friends. When they need it.
You're not alone I feel exactly the same way. feel all the things and love all the things. It helps you to have empathy for others as well.
that’s a really brave way to live life, i hope i’ll have that one day for myself as well
12:46 > "I know that vulnerability is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness - but it appears it's also the birthplace of joy of creativity of belonging of love - and I, I think, I have a problem -, and, I just, I need some help, and I said, but here's the thing, no family stuff, no childhood shit, I just - I just need some strategies!"
Brilliant - let me cut and paste that one...
I think Coach Craig Kenneth is the best on TH-cam just thought I'd share.🌞
Listened to 17 minutes of the talk so far, You are absolutely right, WHen I lost my parents, dog, aunt etc and was so over whelmed forever it seemed with grief, I knew the only reason I grieved so profoundly was because I loved so deeply. And even though it was hard, I would never lessen my love to spare my grief. You are the only one I have heard recognizing this .
Brene, I read your books and saw your Netflix special, and just barely coming back to see this original Ted Talk you did. I know you don't read the comments because everyone knows it's a recipe for disaster, but I still have to tell you that you changed my life. Your book Daring Greatly opened the door for me to understand a lot of things about myself, and I will be forever grateful to you for your openness, vulnerability and willingness to be real and raw.
Found this because I'm reading Daring Greatly right now😁
she doesn't read her comments because this is ted talk's channel not hers.
In her Netflix special on Courage, Brene describes reading the comments under the original publication of this video and the damage it did to her because of the terrible things people said about her. Your kind response is a sweet contrast to those venomous replies.
Even if she doesn't. Your comment helped me find the Netflix show.. thank you
Love it ... “ be real be raw”
As a Social Worker, as a mother a partner and a person this hit me to my core!! I have my shield and sword out at all times never wanting others to know I'm vulnerable and how many times have I shouted blame at others. Thank you Brene' today is a new day I see things differently and will begin to move forward with grace, openess and a large HEART
HUMBLE IS THE SAFEST PLACE AND I NEVER STOP LEARNING
Believing I am enough begins with being compassionate with ourselves. That begins with observing instead of judging. We all have within us unconditional love. When we are still we can hear its whispering voice behind our loud ego. Observing the ego quiets it allowing us to feel the love. Love tells me "I am enough!"
The risk involved to be vulnerable. Fearless Love is my life's mantra. To love fearlessly.
I know I have hidden behind my buddhist practices and used them as an armour, a way of NOT connecting, a way of protecting. I know that many of you have done the same.
And BLESS YOU, the individual who risks look of being foolish and risks being wrong, when everyone else has their armour so perfectly oiled and shined. Bless the sangha which embraces and supports their comrades through such a dance.
I can't believe this is from 2010! It is so perfectly true today.
I heard of her only today from another talk. 2010? Its 2019.....her talk will forever remain relevant
This is because this message is as relevant today as it would have been in 1750. This is at our core as a species.
2010 isnt many years ago, really.
Realizing being vulnerable keeps you open and humble. Holding in emotions can cause pinned up anger and cause you to shut down or burst out. Being vulnerable allows one to grow and learn more about themselves and those around them.
This was 2010 and 12 years after I have red and witnessed this message spreading around the world. Stil though, we are the same society. And this still touched me deeply as it would have 12 years ago. Thank you.
As a perfectionist and a person with a big fear of rejection it was a hard pill to swallow. Her words went straight into the bottom of my heart. So so true. Where the trust are there the risk are. We have to be courage in order to fulfill our best with joy and love. Thank you so so much for that precious sharing.
Dr. Brown sharing her own vulnerability is what kept me watching. The authentic teachers are the ones who open up to let others see that they understand because they have been in the same place. That creates connection because of the commonality. She doesn't come across as trying to "fix us", but rather as showing us through her own experiences what really works.
Being vulnerable shows strength and confidence
I absolutely enjoyed this wonderful speaker! Very rare on TedX talks. Wonderful speaker, insightful, provocative thinking. Absolutely great.
The "no family stuff, no childhood sh!t" comment was great. I've said those same exact words before. Great talk. I can't wait to share this with my husband. Thank you.
I've watched this so many times. It doesn't get old. Love this Ted talk.
Here on 01/10/2024 and watching this talk again. It really hit me and my heart and is helping me go through my issues and improving my life.
Amazing that this was in 2010 because it sounds even more timely in 2023.
Love this specially when she talks about children it’s ok to say you are imperfect you are still worthy. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are only hurting yourself
Hello beautiful beautiful Nancy
"Our job is to look and say, you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you're worthy of love and belonging." YES
You can tell this woman is a Sherlock Holmes, noticing every detail! & look at her matching shirt and background with her name! Loved every word Mrs. Brown 🤎
So the ONLY pathway to joy, authenticity, belonging. is embracing vulnerability, not to numb it...
Thank you Brene😍
Hallelujah! Someone speaking profound (yet common) sense, succinctly and with warmth of spirit and generosity. Well done Brene Brown.
Great job! I've got to the same conclusion after healing myself from depression. As you said, when we shut ourselves down refusing to be vulnerable and "seen" by others, we also shut our source of joy at the same time. I think we, as human beings, are obsessed with a sense of perfection which doesn't exist - despite being widely advertised -. We think we can improve Nature by controlling Her but are not humble enough to admit that our Nature is perfect and that the only imperfection is in our failure to understand that what we perceive as chaos or "imperfection" is a mere comparison that our mind makes between what is real and what we ought to be real and acceptable according to cultural or religious standards. I think it's time to change that and we shouldn't just love our children, we should also be completely honest with them because we are all imperfect (from a human point of view) and that's the beauty of existence itself!
Thank you for sharing your understanding 🙂
I love your way of thinking about it!
"let go of who you think you should be and be who you are" thank you!
SIx years of research condensed into 20 insightful minutes of wisdom for the soul. Thank you for sharing.
I was glued to this from start to finish. Love the message, the delivery and the speaker. Start with an attitude of gratitude. Amen to that!
Just revisited this and so appreciate Berne Brown for leveling the playing field for all us humans.
She is a great speaker. I really love her way of speaking. It's very soothing.
one of the best descriptions of human nature ive heard
I was meant to see this today. I am sitting here crying at the recognition of myself in what you've said.
I was told this would change my life and as a person who has suffered massive heartbreak and felt feelings of vulnerability, I would have to say that this has changed my perspective on everything for the better.
Bless you Connor.
Pov: your therapist send you here
Same 😅
No my teacher did
No my teacher did
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I absolutely loved what she had to say. It hits home and puts a lot into perspective. It's a hard reality, and how I am supposed to move forward from here will be difficult. As parents, we cannot be over protective, otherwise our children cannot learn how to deal with negative emotions.
Love, Love, Love You!!!! Thank you so much for the work you do! I pray and hope that your words,wisdom and knowledge will help change the world. It is hard to be vulnerable and exposed, but so important for growth.
I love the idea of courage being telling the story of who I am with my whole heart. Collecting stories from people as research is something those of us in the arts & humanities have long understood as incredibly powerful. I applaud Dr. Brown's research and hope she continues on this path.
WOW! I am truly inspired. I found a post on Facebook shared by a friend and started listening, went to Brene's site, checked for my videos and am truly thankful for her work. Brene has encapsulated why life is most fulfilled when we risk being authentic.
I first saw this ten years ago and not to be dramatic but it absolutely changed me. I’ve never forgotten it and I always send it to my loved ones that need the reminders.
Oh my gosh, I love this. I love her combination of research and stories.
I love you Brene, your work and words speak to my soul. I am working on my courage to be vulnerable after a lifetime of feeling not good enough. thank you for speaking up about this x
This is one of my top 5 favourite talks I go back to again and again
Thank you for your courage to be real and vulnerable and share such amazing truths. If we could all live so courageously.
This a fantastic speech!. I cried a few times!..thank you Brenne
This video has helped to make the conscious decision to be vulnerable about my feelings of shame with my therapist and for that I’m grateful ❤️
I agree and deeply appreciate that 'I am enough' is a huge statement and in fact connects me to the greater natural order of connectedness with all beings. Thank you Brene!
I love her talk. It’s okay to be vulnerable
Forever my favorite Ted Talk. So grateful for coming across this when I did. I can listen to this over & over. ❤
You know Brene I saw magic happen infront of my eyes when I followed you in living with wholeheart.I think not a single day passes without I questioning my worthiness, and after I stumbled upon you it became my textbook for life I cannot imagine living without it(again I might be afraid of being vulnerable without you).
So important and revealing. Thank you Brene Brown for speaking the truth.
it was so great to feel connected to the speaker through her allowing herself to be authentic and vulnerable and sharing her own story, but gifts and talents as a researcher/story teller. that's very simple, but powerful.
Every single piece of this universe is sending me this message: vulnerability is not weakeness. I just need to believe and practice. Thank you, Brené, for sharing a piece of your soul.
this ted talk was a link in my lecture. I bawled my eyes out. It just made so much sense and kind of called me out a few times. You are a great storyteller and I think about this a lot. This gave me a whole new perspective or answer that I've been wondering. Thankyiou
Such inspirational and important work. I have to say that if a person fails Dr Brene Brown's rules for trust (BRAVING), being vulnerable with them may not be safe.
I have probably watched this video close to 50 times. It's so valuable to hear, really hear this message. Of course, my favorite part is the last couple of minutes which gives you the "punch line". I love the positive message of how to accomplish having an effective life. Beautifully said.
02:03 Connection is essential, but shame can unravel it.
04:38 Believing in self-worth leads to love and belonging
07:27 People who live with a deep sense of worthiness have courage, compassion and connection
10:32 Living wholeheartedly means embracing vulnerability
13:11 We numb vulnerability.
15:41 Numbing emotions is harmful
18:15 Teach children they're worthy of love and belonging
So right on Brene. To me the the biggest challenge we have is to learn to love who we are. Big job!! Not easy, however, necessary. I love to listen n learn from your incredible wisdom and willingness to be right in your face honest!! Makes my heart sing. Lov ya for sure n grateful for willingness to let it all hang out!! 😍😘😄😂😂
OH WOW, this woman is amazing, inspiring, and amazingly brave to put her heart out there, I love this talk.
Second time I have listened to this and am crying harder this time for the joy I have in having discovered this wonderful concept.
This presentation was an eye opening piece of just how you can live your life with more spirit, determination and passion.The research into vulnerability has opened a whole new spectrum which could really change your life. Delivered with skill, humor and a genuine voice..This is one of the most illuminating talks I have ever had the pleasure of discovering. Now it's off to buy the books! Thank you for a truly thought provoking presentation!
This talk is essentially about self worth, which from my experience, is mostly an issue in individualistic societies. Brene said that you cannot love others until you love yourself, I believe its the other way round. Only when you love everyone indiscriminately, like your brothers and sisters, as is common in many non western cultures, will you stop discriminating against yourself. If you are harsh on others, you'll be need harsh on yourself. I see everyone as my brothers and sisters and feel need to look out for everyone, friend or stranger, it's the way I've been brought up. When you are kind to everyone, without checking if they really deserve it, then in the same way, given that you are also a person, you should be kind to yourself. This way of thinking comes from a well known saying in the poorer, more communal parts of the middle east "your self has a right upon you".
This is difficult for people who abandon themselves to take care of other people
This could not have come into my life at the most APPROPRIATE and perfect time!!! Thank you thank you ! Literally life altering !!
Came here recommended by my therapist. I'm actually learning a lot from this. Thanks.
You can tell how not vulnerable she was when she mentioned she didn't want to talk about sensitive subjects. She also refers heavily to control which is the opposite of being vulnerable. Therapists are meant to guide you into finding the answers of your life within yourself as oppose to adopting theories of life from someone else. Hence why they ask more questions than answer any with true conviction.
THATS ALL YOU NEEDED! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
My favorite talk ever. I don't rewatch stuff but I rewatch this
90% of TED talks seem to qualify for the word "best." I have to rank this talk as one of the "best of the best." I think almost everyone I know would find Brené Brown's presentation well worth watching. Thanks!
The best advice to Live from!
Thanks to Brené Brown for coming into my life right when I needed her. Twenty-four hours ago I had never heard this name. Then I came across it in three or four completely different situations. I got the message. Thank you.
Hey, how are you now after 10 years of this comment ?
I think this ties in really nicely with Dr. Kristin Neff's talk on self-compassion. There's definitely a correlation between vulnerability and self-compassion!
I love you and your work - it's a rare moment offering great transformation
Thank you for sharing this with us!!! I'll be watching this a few times and sharing this with the world!
That stuff about telling your therapist I don’t wanna talk about family, past tense childhood trauma, looool I’ve gone here for one thing and one thing only STRATEGY. 😂😂😂😂
Yesterday, I had a difficult situation to navigate - oh how different it could have been if I had chosen to be grateful in the moment. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
This is just wonderful! My heart is full and I thank you!
One of my favorite TED talks.
"i am enough" goes back to her point about worthiness. we don't strive for connection if we don't feel worthy of it. once we believe in our own worthiness then we can truly be vulnerable and experience the full richness of life. not everyone has an existential concept of life. sometime they just want to get to the end of the day.
Wonderful speach by Brene Brown. I so needed to hear this. Thank you, thank you for sharing your own vulnerability. As another commenter said, the need to be certain, invulnerable does indeed shape our lives and not in a good way.
Amen Amen Amen! I’ve always said this is why we are here! It’s to connect with each other ! YAY!! Love love love you and your work ! Woop woop!