You (and this beautiful film) describe the tension between monogamy and polygamy very well. After 20 years of 'faux' monogmany (both sides cheating), my partner and I developed a framework that protected the valuable relationship between us but allowed us to explore sex with other men, sometimes jointly. It seemed to build trust, intimacy and honesty. I only wish that we had been emotionally secure and mature enough to find this place earlier in our 35 partnership. He died 8 years ago but what we built has given me good foundations for going forward into the world with confidence and joy.
Yes, the vexing issue of monogamy-polygamy, of exclusiveness-openness. Amongst more open, coupled friends I have observed a kind of dance, like a celestial love-comet, where there is always the freedom of homeward incoming and its sustenance and then the departure to explore new lands. This looks more like a form of unconditional love. Some of us find true, deep love where 2 is enough and some of us never will. I am of the latter variety, seeking security and acceptance in love but knowing the drive to experience the totality of other men and life. I do not think there is a universal script. It all depends on one's self and one's partner's temperament. In this film there seems to be a power play where it pains the "totally happy to be" monogamous party. This can lead to an intolerably, brittle relationship where neither gets what they both need though some can thrive on this destructive negativity. If they are to stay happily and freely together I would suggest a rope with lots of slack... a rope of connection but not tied tight. I believe whether monogamous or poly-amorously, there is the possibility to find total romantic fulfillment, with respect, patience and honesty. Our historically monogamous society, however, makes this difficult.
Thank you for your very thoughtful and eloquent exploration of this "vexing issue". I belong in your camp but recognise it's not for everyone. Society's norms can hinder us from being courageous and honest in finding what's right for ourselves and those we love.❤
You (and this beautiful film) describe the tension between monogamy and polygamy very well. After 20 years of 'faux' monogmany (both sides cheating), my partner and I developed a framework that protected the valuable relationship between us but allowed us to explore sex with other men, sometimes jointly. It seemed to build trust, intimacy and honesty. I only wish that we had been emotionally secure and mature enough to find this place earlier in our 35 partnership. He died 8 years ago but what we built has given me good foundations for going forward into the world with confidence and joy.
Wonderful you found adventure and joy, founded in a secure love. You lucky man.
I prefer a committed and respectful monogamist relationship over that of an ongoing hookup between 3+ persons.
Yes, the vexing issue of monogamy-polygamy, of exclusiveness-openness. Amongst more open, coupled friends I have observed a kind of dance, like a celestial love-comet, where there is always the freedom of homeward incoming and its sustenance and then the departure to explore new lands. This looks more like a form of unconditional love.
Some of us find true, deep love where 2 is enough and some of us never will. I am of the latter variety, seeking security and acceptance in love but knowing the drive to experience the totality of other men and life. I do not think there is a universal script. It all depends on one's self and one's partner's temperament.
In this film there seems to be a power play where it pains the "totally happy to be" monogamous party. This can lead to an intolerably, brittle relationship where neither gets what they both need though some can thrive on this destructive negativity.
If they are to stay happily and freely together I would suggest a rope with lots of slack... a rope of connection but not tied tight.
I believe whether monogamous or poly-amorously, there is the possibility to find total romantic fulfillment, with respect, patience and honesty. Our historically monogamous society, however, makes this difficult.
Thank you for your very thoughtful and eloquent exploration of this "vexing issue". I belong in your camp but recognise it's not for everyone. Society's norms can hinder us from being courageous and honest in finding what's right for ourselves and those we love.❤
Grant?!
❤❤😊😊