ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2024
- Have you thought that you were feeling behind in your 20s in comparison to others? Or just life in general? In this video, I address the feelings associated with feeling like you're behind in life and somehow have to get back on track. I recently felt this way, which is why I wanted to share my thought process on how I handle them.
The first thing I remind myself is that happiness is a choice. More specifically, it's an active decision that I make whether I feel like it or not. I always thought success (which led to happiness) came in the form of spending time at the beach with a pretty girl while owning a large house and having no cares or problems in the world. "Once I have these things, I'll be happy." In reality, this fantasy could maybe exist for a couple hours, but otherwise it fades quickly. Problems will always come sooner or later. We predict how we will feel when certain events occur through affective forecasting, but we tend to be inaccurate when we make these predictions. With a house comes maintenance. With all that time in the sun comes sunburn. No matter what, problems will always come around.
That is why we cannot wait for happiness to come to us IF or WHEN something happens. Because once we attain said thing, the high quickly fades and we continue to search for the next thing. Stop looking for that next thing and simply be happy now. However, if you are unhappy where you are in life, how will you get from point A to point B?
To achieve any goal or outcome, one must create a process or system that they can stand by. This process must not only transfer a person from one state to another, it also must be a process that one will enjoy partaking in, otherwise a person will quit or revert to old habits. It is the reason why fad diets do not work: they aren't sustainable long term.
The next thing I do is delete social media (or stay off of it.) Social media creates a distorted reality where you only see milestones and achievements of others, all within the swipe of a thumb. It's easy to think people have done all these amazing things or somehow created overnight success when you read all of their posts in one sitting. Comparison is the thief of joy, and we must not compare our step 1 to another person's step 20. Stay in your lane and just focus to be better than you were yesterday.
Hope this was helpful! Take care, guys.
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:30 The thing about happiness
5:17 Focus on your process
6:12 Stay off social media
7:37 Final thoughts
Disclaimer:
All ideas here are for entertainment purposes only.
I've found that appreciating the things I have and living life day-by-day has been a big help. I'm turning 24 in a little over a month, don't have a job, a partner, or a degree, and have been essentially living as a NEET since Covid started. Sure, I'm pretty behind in terms of the standards society has set for me, but I have family and friends that care about me, and who I care about, hobbies both creative and physical that I enjoy, a house over my head in a safe neighborhood, and I eat three meals a day. I am incredibly fortunate to have these things, I know that I don't suffer from the same issues people less fortunate than myself do, and I understand that I eventually have to strike out on my own, but constantly worrying about the future has a paralyzing effect on me, rather than a motivating one. Focusing on what's currently in front of me rather than trying to guess what I'll be doing in ten years, slowly building up consistency and conscientiousness through a routine I enjoy, doing what I can to help those around me, and letting them do the same for me, and not beating myself up over my failures will get me to where I need to be eventually.
Amazing perspective!
I can totally relate to this to each and every line you mentioned. Same here with me and I have no idea what I'd be doing in future.
I completely relate to this...me too..turning 24 in few days..kind of live in a situation exactly like you....and pretty much feel exactly as you have put forth...
Great insight, hope people can transform their gratitude towards a first world lifestyle into motivation to give back to the society that gave them that quality of life
needed to hear this tbh
"you can't compare your step 1 to someone's step 100" - yeah, this is killing me right now
But I have to compare my 100000th step with someone's 1st step, and feel nothing but envy.
But the regret that I didn’t start step 1 earlier kills me
@@gliderman9302 The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
and each person has his own starting point
according to root of philosophy, we don't regret. so stop pretending
I really needed this. I’m 23, graduated college, un able to get a job with my degree. Never been in a relationship and still living with my parents… it’s debilitating
I feel you :( literally me rn
are you me?¿?
I'm 23 with no degree, no gf, never worked a day of my life, no drivers license. It's depressing. I hope things get better for you.
I am in the same boat. I try to have a positive mindset and do my bit. If I get stressed, I tell myself that how the world is right now, there are tonnes of opportunities both online and offline. The world is so resourceful for anyone to not get depressed. Because every problem that you've ever had already has a solution out in the world. It'll all work out. Not today it's okay, not tomorrow it's okay, but one day.
I feel like 23 is the hardest year for most people. I am 23 years old, too and it really feels like a low point. I am stuck in a job I hate, I am broke, depressed and the girl of my dreams turned me down and started dating someone else. It's tough but we will make it. It's only going up from here
I felt for a long time in my 20s-30s that I was lagging behind my friends. Years later, I finally figured out the problem was that I was traveling in a different direction than my friends, so I was never going to "catch-up."
I had a convo with one of my good friends about this. I’ve been feeling behind for a while now. I’m 29 and I haven’t had a lot of experience in the world due to low funds, the pandemic shutting down everything, and recently discovering I’ve had generalized anxiety and depression. I’m going to grad school and doing pretty well, but I’m not making enough money to move out of my parents’ place let alone travel to places I want to go. I even got a love confession from a guy and we started going out but I’m so nervous about messing up that I choke and I can’t tell what my true feelings about him are (I like him but I’m still unsure about the level - this is how I discovered my anxiety.) On top of that, it’s my first time going out with anybody. Ever. My friends have had more experience in that front than I have and it’s frustrating because I’m older but I put it off because I have school and nobody expressed any interest in me as a possible girlfriend until now. I should be enjoying this especially how he’s been so kind to me for the last 2 years, but I’m associating dating with fear instead of fun even though I haven’t had a single bad experience and he’s been really good to me.
I ended up telling all this with a friend and it turns out she’s envies my situation because I have the support of my family, I’m back in school with a clear trajectory, I’m having experiences in life and love in a later age instead of what she had in her teens and 20s, and I’m even going for a unique career path. Meanwhile I envied her independence, her confidence, and being able to have an apartment and a car to move around in. It opened up my eyes that we are in different paths and where I am right now is actually not terrible. I still feel the pressure of turning 30 but now I see the final year of my 20s as more of starting to build a foundation of the person I want to be.
TL;DR comparison really is the thief of joy. It’s never too late to discover things, make strides in your life, and develop as a person. Your life can begin at anytime. Whoever says that you have to figure it all out in your 20s and 30s (or fill in the blank of whatever arbitrary milestone) is a liar.
Is commiting suicide worth it
@@Anika9691 nope it's not..... ur body is fighting so hard for you to survive each day. Please give life a chance. Lots of ❤.
A good quote is “don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides” for all you know they’re feeling the same way
That creeping feeling is the worst, it eats you alive. It makes the thought of death so comforting.
exactly..the story of my life
The thought of death is never comforting to me tbh lol.. Not even when I'm depressed.
you're right. It's worst than depression.. sometime...
😭🖐
And it was frustrating thinking that you can't achieve it because you know your family loves you
I deleted most of my social media. That helped prevent me from thinking about what other people have done in their life and comparing my life with others. Everyone is on their own journey.
Laura not everybody has to be there show you a mirror you have done nothing wrong I do the same just chill relax and laughter does not cost anything 🙃
I have also done same thing, stopped using FB since 2015. Now I am going to Die on any day.
@@RinkBox idk you can have a heart attack or severe aggression delete social media still you can talk to people on less popular versions of social media like reddit discord or telegram
Sis I've been comparing myself to everyone way before I even knew what social media was
I'm 22 with social anxiety.
I've lost connection with friends and relatives.
I have no job or partner.
These reasons have led me to delete my social media and withdraw from social gatherings.
All I need right now is to hear that I'm not alone.
You' re not alone friend. There are people all over the world who are going trough simular stuff as you are
Yup, I drag myself to work every day and I every day I'm gaining more weight because Im to lazy and tired to be cooking good food for my 30min lunch. At the end of the day, I always feel like I have done nothing....it's 4 in the morning and I'm already thinking what to do to stop feeling like that.. we all have our "demons"
You are most definitely NOT alone. 🙏🏻 I understand where you’re coming from soooo hardcore. I’ve done very similar things in my own life for the EXACT same reasons. And I am here to validate you 100% for the way you’re feeling! It sucks so very much and makes it extremely hard to not want to withdraw. 💔
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! And c'mon mate cheer up.. U don't lots of social media that saps away your time. spend more time to know yourself...
You are not alone. I struggle with the same thing. We can work at it to improve our lives! And friends and family often want to hear from you. Losing touch doesn’t have to be permanent.
I feel like "being single" shouldnt mean that your life isn't good. Theres still a ton of things you can do even without a partner.
True but some people feels the need of having a life long partner to be there as a pillar to support him/her to get through the struggle. Could be a double edged sword if the partner end up hurting you instead of "helping" you.
People need to learn how to be alone. I've been in long-term relationships in the past but it's been a while and I've just been focusing on myself. I legit have zero friends, no one ever texts me and I literally have no reason for having a phone except for texting family members, watching youtube vids and being on twitter. It's truly sad that people nowadays rely so much on another person to bring them happiness, motivation, or whatever else. LEARN TO BE ALONE FOLKS! It's not as bad as it seems! I'm alone, but not lonely.
I think it's more of a societal standard from back then. If you didn't have a partner by 25 then you're doing something wrong
Exactly, that's the thing I've learnt from random things like Mr. Bean. You realistically don't need anything to be happy, just enjoy your own company to make your own fun.
Trust me I know alot of married people with kids who are JEALOUS of me and my abilities to do anything when i wanted to
Basically my mind:
At Job : I DESERVE A BREAK
At Break : NOO I AM PROCASTINATING
Repeat
stop wasting your free time in breaks then
well i feel like i have to comment something though, people need breaks, actual breaks, not those "efficient breaks" that capitalist companies tend to give out for their employees, like Amazon has those "Employee-Designed Health and Safety Program",.. Just the fast pace of life in cities makes people feel like they haven't been productive enough, haven't make enough money and therefore life has been stressful more and more, which makes happiness and satisfaction is so rare. I wouldn't tell someone waste their freetime in breaks, but rather tell them to enjoy their breaks (depends on what makes them happy and gives them energy - so personal choices). What im trying to tell is you can do whatever you want, as long as it's healthy for your long-term mental and physical, those breaks are your source of energy for you to deal with daily society problems, and ye i think mediation would be helpful.
Haha, so true lol.
I’m 21, dropping out of University and still living with my parents. Going to a job interview in a couple hours time. Thank you so much for sharing your own personal experience and insights
Whatever happens, remember you are awesome!
Did you get it? Still gonna wish you goodluck!!
@@radicala246 I did! Thank you so much :)
@@BecTarot that’s great! i hope i could find a job too with my age (20). i’m starting college soon and i hope i could find a part time job, not because i have to, but because i want to so that i would stop depending on my parents. i can ask money from them but it’s a shame that i still depend on them financially. however in the country where i live, it is hard to find a part time job if you are a student, because most employers find applicants who are degree holders, even though in a basic job like being a waitress or cashier in a fast food chain. ☹️
how the job went
the feeling never ends fellas
Here's confirmation that even useless people can get a checkmark on these platforms.
@@shineayandrews1869 i just watched one of his videos and i agree now
Does if you blow your brains out lmao
.....
That's because your emotionally not intelligent. Happiness is just a mental state and how you learn to deal with your problems. Learn to live and you'll be fine.
To people who say "money doesnt bring happiness" is say " thats right, money brings freedom not happiness". Everybody has to decide for themselfs if freedom contributes to their happiness
*Eren Jaeger wants to know your location*
I'm 26 and I just given up on husband, having family(my mother is so toxic my whole life), I didnt finish my degree so now I just want to have money and do job I love or create company so I can have my freedom. I feel like money is only thing I need in my life right now 😔😔
@@viennala2528 If you have lots of money and no time to be free, money turns meaningless
Poor people who win the lottery are not free because they are undisciplined as fuck, and therefore not free in the slightest.
You are right that money gives you some level of freedom, but then I think we could have a long conversation about freedom, which I am not very good at because I still have things to learn about freedom and being free.
If that doesn't probe something for you, then I don't know what to say.
and money is my happiness
26, never had a boyfriend, nobody who'd love me, im all alone.. im also getting extremely depressed each day more and more, and life is becoming to be like some universal joke i just don't get... im not expecting anything from life anymore, it's just walking to work, back to my empty apartment, sleep and repete. What a life. I failed at absolutely every aspect of it.
I'm just tired of being alone.
I hope you're doing better now :)
What you described above also describes my life right now. I'm a 21yo man which doesn't have almost any real life friends anymore since all relationships went cold for a reason or another. Currently I expect having same schedule everyday
I hope you feel better too:( don 't give up
You have your own apartment and job, if a boyfriend is what you want, (obviously I don't know what you look like) maybe work on yourself. Getting a guys attention isn't that hard, if you're shy just make glances at him, if you're overweight sign up at a gym and learn about proper nutrition, trust me when I say you have it easy as a girl, trying to date as a man these days is almost impossible.
I'm a 26 year old man who still hasn't moved out my parent's house because of college loans, and then medical bills. I have also never been in a real relationship, and never had sex cause I'm short and that's ugly apparently. However I have done so much since becoming an adult to improve myself, and experience things in life. My happiness won't start because I have everything everyone else I meet has. You're video helped me to remember that. Thank you.
hey dude, don't beat yourself up. I have a lot of family members above their 30s that still live with their parents and one of them has 3 kids. Also, I don't mean to sound like a cocky asshole but I'm a short dude (most likely shorter than you and I think I'm average looking) and I've had sex with different girls (many times). There is hope for everyone! I also see people make fun of short guys, especially on social media, and it gets to me sometimes but I brush it off my shoulders because I know that there is someone for everyone and I've been in plenty relationships. I also deleted all social media (except twitter lol). Seriously dude, don't let any of that bother you. What I like to think is that being short weeds out the girls with ugly personalities. Relationships purely based on physical attraction never last anyway. There is someone out there for all of us, whether its in your city, state, country, or on the other side of the world! Don't lose hope and keep your head up, fellow short-king! 👑
@@westernpigeon thanks bro,this helps me helps a lot
hey dude, being short isnt ugly! lots of girls (if thats what youre into) like short guys. You'll find them in time, don't worry.
@@amanda1271 I hate when people tag being short to wanting to impress girls I’m 5’7 and I could care less about girls at the moment I’m more focused on the Olympics. I’ve been training but I’ve come to the realization that I’m short and I most likely won’t ever win a medal in the sport I’ve been practicing almost my whole life like I’ve been training my whole life just for something out of my control to be the limiting factor Its made me HATE my mom she’s 4’11 I hate her whole existence like short women never think about having short or below average kids they’re just happy they got a guy above 6ft like my mom she just says “deal with it” “i could care less” it honestly makes me wanna kill my self it’s either gonna be that or I cut her out of my life completely maybe when I get enough money. And I kinda despise my dad who’s 6’2 like why are you even with a woman 5’5 and under? And if I live long enough to have kids my mom won’t meet them and they’re mother isn’t gonna be under 5’5.
Short women are the worst they fuck screw guys who could’ve been tall out of a happy life.
@@antoniopowell3732 "why are you even with a woman 5’5 and under?" Wow. You sound like a very sad guy when you speak so badly about your mother just because of her height and her choice to have a child. How shallow of you. I would think that you would have some compassion towards other short people, especially your mom, but no, you chose to be bitter. And 5'7 isn't even that short, more like average height. Happiness definitely doesn't revolve around height and you probably should come to that realization someday, it would help you not being so hateful. It is what it is, we all have been given different cards to deal with in life, some of us are short, others are tall, ugly, beautiful, stupid, intelligent, healthy or ill. But we should all try to be happy with what we have.
After watching this and reading all the comments, I just realized how many people feel this way. Our culture is made to compare ourselves with others all the time, and that's why we feel miserable.
Right? Like every problem he listed is at least in some way a by product of godless materialism. Looking at money like a goal to attain is basically pointless since
a) it most times will lower in value
and
b) the highest salary jobs will most times be the white collar ones, where you either are allowed to do nothing or pretend to contribute something to the world by moving around papers. Also sitting in one spot for 4 hours at a time is inhumane. It was during the school years, so it will definitely be so later in life.
Always compare yourself to who you were yesterday,not somebody else.We do not have the same starting conditions,they vary from person to person,thats why its wrong to compare yourself to someone else.
^^
Someone's been watching Jordan Peterson, respect.
I don't think this advices works for me because I think I am getting worse with time, so comparing to past me makes me fell like an even bigger loser.
Joven Vincent Bravo with this mindset, probably brood and get worse
Damn my yesterday self was better
I'm 27, studied abroad until Masters, all on scholarship, came back home to live with parents, about to go abroad for my PhD studies again soon. In some aspects, I am doing better than a lot of my peers, but what you've just said is absolutely right--comparing myself with my peers has lowered my self-esteem so much that I have forgotten what I have achieved. Everyday, I see my friends posting how much they have achieved, how they have gotten rich with their multiple incomes on social media, and I compared myself with them, wondering what I am doing with my life when I'm this age but I still don't have a proper job. This video came just in time. Thank you
Yeahh I’m 27 lived overseas since 23 and not even an associates degree 🤷🏽♀️ but hey I now have the financial means to go to get degrees up to a degree and have a housing allowance anywhere I want in the world with adequate planning. I felt so unintelligent & worthless for years next to my colleagues and some friends that have gone on to get their doctorates. Hell, even my younger sister Graduated University before me and my cousin is about to graduate with her JD and people ask me all the time what did I major in and once I say, I dropped out;everyone is baffled. But yeah just like you said “what am I doing in life” I felt that, and you are doing great because no one can take those skills and knowledge away from you. If you don’t mind me asking would you recommend studying abroad? If so, what University you went to & program ?
I’m in my early 30s, I felt the same way 10 years ago with my life. I was never really good at school and I pretty much wasted most of my 20s and ended up dropping out of college. It was a pretty big fall at the time and I ended up working in a minimum wage work. I was very deflated, I didn’t have anything and lived with my parents. In my late 20s I decided to go back to school because I really wanted to turn my life around. The subject I took in the continue education was IT related and it very challenging and sometimes I felt like quitting. In the end, it took about 4 years and I succeeded. I agree with the video if you want to make changes with your life, make changes in small steps. I am definitely happier than I was 10 years ago, but I wouldn’t say I am a happy person, there are a lot of stress at work. In the end of the day everybody got their own set of problems even for the ultra rich. I think the key to be happy is to work hard and look at your own fruit that you have harvested and not comparing with others.
I think this is part of life, every age has its challenges, for young people is finding love and be successful. When you are old, you just want to be healthy and hope that you don’t get any serious illnesses. Be happy of what you have right now.
So are you doing IT work now? I'm 25 and IT is the only thing I wanna but I need this math course which is basic high school and I have failed twice. Granted I haven't try, I just have had a hard time studying. In fact I cant do anything, I cant bring myself to wake up early or do anything really. I just feel so pathetic and weak.
@@Drake00000010 the only tip thats gonna help you is you have to do it,fuck excuses.
I'm almost 24 and about to start college once again
I wish you the best
Good luck guys, I'm on a similar path
29 here! Every day seems like a countdown to the thirties and the feeling that i haven't accomplished anything big follows me everyday. Makes me feel that I shouldn´t dream big and be more satisfied with what I can get because I´m not that "young" anymore although I feel like I am. (and hey, pandemic stole me 2 years)
Videos like this reminds me that in the end, everyone has their own pace (but most of the time we forget about it)
Thanks for that :) And boy, quitting social media feels amazing.
even 30 is still a baby in life
Not to be dismissive of your comment but the 'pandemic' isn't the true villain which took the last two years, it's the evil hidden hand that is trying to take away every freedom we used to enjoy--they are who we need to unite to defeat.
"Every day seems like a countdown to the thirties" I felt that
@@FerventReminder and by "evil hidden hand" what do you exactly mean?
come get with a young jiggy man like me and drink the fountain of youth
I'm not even in my 20s, but I think that I needed to hear this. This advice could help me where I am at right now, and for my future self as well. Good video!
Im happy you got something out of this!
you are an angel of pure joy! You'll do well I know it.
same here i'm 18 definitely in that in between phase of life
"Don't compare your step one to someones step one-hundred"
No one has ever put it like this, and it makes so much sense. I didn't think i would get emotional today. Shit got me about to cry.
when most people say "I bought a house", it actually means they signed a 30 year contract to be slaves for the banks that actually own those houses.
Gotta rent or buy, that’s life but if you buy at least you’re building equity.
@@Miguel-ju3sf true
It’s either that or live with mom and dad
What you own ends up owning you
@@ArtofWEZ you can sell it
Anyone else feel behind in life? What do y'all do?
I'm pretty convinced that being lost is all part of the journey. As hard as it can feel sometimes, I try to enjoy the confusion and just see how things go. Social media is the absolute worst when you feel lost cuz it looks like everyone else has it figured out-- and they definitely don't lol. I believe in u!
Yep. Feeling behind right now - Unemployed with 3 degrees, project management certificate, job experience, no girlfriend, emotional issues for a relationship, still dependent financially on my parents, slightly depressed and anxious, seeing my younger cousins get jobs before me, seeing my friends and cousins get engaged and married. I am battling with my faith but I try and maintain good friends, remind myself that things aren't as bad as it seems, focus on my hobbies, trying to search for jobs, trying to get a consulting profile up for myself and hoping for the best...
@@robingeorge7151 Sounds like you’ve been really going through the past few years but you’re determined to make it through! This may not mean much but I hope you get to where you want to be! Sending you all the good vibes I got.
I felt behind in my 20s, soon I will feel behind in my 40s.
@@coffeeperson1461 just take it one day at a time :)
I'm in last place on the loser boat aswell, 21, no college, drivers license & hs diploma. I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I'm not lazy. I've just got undiagnosed issues like anxiety & what not that really hold me back. My dad died when I was 4 and my mom didn't really help me learn anything.. we just kind of, co-existed at home and never went out. Now I'm living with my grandpa and help him out physically when needed. Pretty much everything I know is from youtube & google searches. Every time I've made money through youtube, or doing odd jobs and was able to buy myself something or pay for someone else's food instead of being co-dependent all the time was such a nice, joyous, and free feeling. I really hope I can get myself on track soon so I can continue to feel that way.
edit: 7 months later doing tons better, forgot I even made this comment. hope all of you guys stumbling across this can find some relief & happiness soon, it's very stressful. I've been off social media since I was in my teens and I think it's the only way I have stayed sane and generally happy. Anytime I take a peek I usually regret it because I begin to compare. You will do worlds better without.
you can do it bro just keep your head up
Just keep on pushing and everything will hopefully turn out for the best. If you wanna chat or anything all ya got to so is ask (over discord)
It's good that you understand your context. It is a big amazing world. You are just discovering it. You are rich in time. Protect your health. HS diploma is no big deal.. if you can read and write, you can get one.
@@brandondang5765 Sorry for late reply but could I also join your discord server?
Thank you for sharing your story, man. It’s comforting. Also really glad that things have gotten brighter for you! 🙏🏻💯
I am physically fit, eat a healthy diet and possibly the best version of myself right now. But, I still feel behind like all my friends have jobs and have gfs and I have none of that, thankfully this video has given me a new perspective on life and I'm trying to get a job that I love and finally get my shit together and be happy with myself.
good luck bro
I'm glad im not the only one
Don't worry, now a days having a girlfriend doesn't mean your ahead, more likely that you've signed up to have your progress reset in a few years time. Fitness, friends and happy in your work is the main things, particularly for a guy, if you're good on those 3 things, you'll probably be happy.
If i could sort all these "wins", 1# healthy, 2# job, 3#love partner. You on the right track bro, being fit, eating good food and sleeping enough shoule be everyones top prioritiesc
Honestly I think you're ahead of your friends. Focusing on your own thing and not comparing yourself to them is so much better and healthier for YOU.
i think the reason why its hard to stop comparing is because when youre younger there were a lot less opportunities and a much more linear path. therefore you can compare yourself much easier ,ex comparing grades or comparing who learned to read faster. but then when you get older there are so many different paths to take and more freedom to go about life in your own way, so comparison is a lot harder to accurately do but we dont realize that because weve been doing it so linear all our lives
Amazing video. I’m 20, living at my parents, no partner and my life is messy hoping that I can be happy after trying many many effort. My goal is to get a job of my domain but I still can’t reach it even after years and with a degree. I still lack a lot of experience and I live my days repeating the same process, stressing over and over again. I try to improve myself but there is almost no outcome to that. It’s a very good point to care about myself only and not on the others. Thank you very much for giving me hope to perseverate.
You just earned a subscriber. As a 19 year old that's currently on the grind for success, I can't wait to see how you grow as a person. Most TH-camrs I've watched make it seem like they've already attained happiness and are just merely giving tips about what worked for them. It's refreshing to see a TH-camr like you who's in the middle of achieving that happiness, I will take notes as you keep us updated about your life. We got this!
I definitely don’t have it figured out! We’re on this journey together
... ...
I am 17 and I really wanna see him grow too!!
Another thing is that people for the most part tend to post their highlights, achievements, and other "good" things that happened in their life and leave out all the bad so when you look at what people have done through something like social media, you are comparing all their "good" to your whole life which is both bad and good. Everyone has problems and just because people aren't posting them on things like social media, doesn't mean that they don't exist. So with what being said, comparing yourself to what others have achieved on things like social media doesn't seem like a fair comparison at all.
I started "falling behind" after I failed a bunch of classes in college (1st year, 2nd semester) when COVID hit and we all went to online classes.
A couple of my friends and high school acquaintances have moved on to university (college and university are separate where I'm from) and it's been difficult to accept that relative to me, they aren't being set back, etc. Also, pretty much all my friends have jobs and are earning money and saving up for goals one way or the other, while I've been rotting in my room for the past 3 years without the desire or interest in getting a job, despite wanting to also save up and execute my own goals.
And yeah, I'm not doing anything about it either. Just mindlessly scrolling through TH-cam trying to pass my time, and stumbled on this video.
I'm already 28 and been having this "comparison trap" going on for as long as I can remember. It maybe different for others but what I did was use that comparison into pushing myself to be better -- not to my successful friends level but to a success/level that I want drive into. It was difficult, I felt bitter but the desire of my soul to be better was greater. Now, I believe I'm at a better standing in my workplace and I am more confident. It really is a combination of a lot of things like the tips on this video and I hope everyone wont give up. Cheers Sam and everyone!
i just hit 30, have a decent job, cant find a house cuz the city is fckin expensive plus my parents still live in the city so i just pinch in the bills and stay with them. No car but got a bike. Only got diploma and i flunked my degree so i stopped studying. Not really interested in relationship but really in need of one just to make my mum happy. My life story at the moment.
Good.
You're a great person keep it up
I too live with my parents. And it is completely fine. Goal is to survive and be together. Common things between you and me is: no car but bike, living with parents, in my 30s, single, decent job.
@@dancingdev1088 Your parents get old
@@SeudXe no shit? he can help take of em :)
Love the vulnerability in opening up about this in a public setting. One Mcconaghey quote I love is "one man's appetite is another man's indigestion". We tend to project our insecurities onto the strengths we see in others around us while in turn devaluing the strengths we have that people would in turn project their insecurities onto. Keep plugging away, Sam, you're on a good path and I see your wisdom shown in this video as a sign you're in the right direction.
Appreciate the kind words, Tristan! I hope this is the 'right' path haha
This video and the comments made me feel and think that I am not the only one feeling this uncertainty on my life, it's actually a relief and a motivation at the same time
Here is the thing guys…
There’s nothing wrong about living with your parents.
If you want the girl you need to talk to her even if you feel like you can’t do it, just try.
Do what makes you happy, not what makes you the most money (unless what makes you happy is the money part).
Just try (you’ll never truly live until you put yourself out there and try).
You’re not the only one, many people around the world feel the same.
Be patient, the journey is the most important part, not the outcome.
For those of you watching this video, I believe in you. I believe that you'll find your way around things. Even when everything seems to be falling apart, don't let go of your hope, because at the end of the day, that's the one thing that can keep us going. And, if you feel unloved or inadequate, even thought I don't know any of you personally, I'm here to say that I love each and every one of you. :) (unless you're just an asshole by nature lol)
The weird disconnect that I've been experiencing is that, although I feel generally behind in life at 21 due to circumstances both in and out of my control, I don't know where to begin making steps toward my goals because I don't have any goals. At least, I don't have any goals further out than a couple days at a time, and that is what terrifies me.
Hey! Sometimes we’re just in that phase of life where we’re taking days a day at a time. There’s no actually “right” way to live life. The goals will come as long as you can keep an open mind :) hope this helped!
having goals that stretch and the steps to take them are all up to you. it is legit about moving in your own time and in your own way. we all feel in a rush or maybe like we’re running out of time but the longer we think we’re wasting time, we’re wasting time then. those goals that start day by day could lead to anything. maybe that long term goal : )
Its okay, I didn't find out my long term goals until I was 23 and I was wandering around aimlessly and wasting my time endlessly. Just experiment with your life. You're still young and have time to find what you want to do. But when you do find what you want. Don't let it go and be persistent. Find a reason to push on to the very end. A whole year pursuing a singular goal is a lot more time than you think. And if you're motivated enough and unrelenting you'll be surprised at what you can achieve. Never give up.
@@lash4954 That was well said
Just start small somewhere, anywhere. And start by asking yourself, what do I want. It doesn't need to be major. Again, start small. Baby steps. Slow and steady. Do you want to be better hydrated? Drink a little bit more water. Get better sleep? Create a healthy bedtime routine. Fuel your body with more nutrients, swap out some foods you think you don't need with ones you think you need. Don't want to be on social media too much or watch too much t.v, decrease the time spent on those things and dedicate them to doing things you love. Don't know what you love, try anything and everything, within reason and budget of courses. Get a library card, take walks, go for hikes or runs, do body weight exercises at home or at the gym if that's something you want to do. Draw, color, paint, sing, even if you suck at it. Find joy in daily life and slowly but surely you'll start to find out what you want, what you don't want, what works for you, what doesn't work for you, and just like that, you'll be on a path to figuring out how to get more of what you want and what makes you happy. Start small and try things.
Thanks man, I needed to hear this. I'm 23 and I've actually done a lot in life so far, like I've graduated from a good college, I had a dream career for a while, and am now getting my Masters, but I still feel so unhappy and behind. I think it's because none of my friendships have lasted (I don't live in one place for long) and I've never dated anyone. When I see people getting married and hanging out with friends on social media, it makes me feel so incredibly lonely. But what you say is true, I shouldn't compare myself to others, especially since I'm taking a different route, one that has so far been career and school focused. It's also helpful to be reminded that nobody has it all, particularly at this stage in life. Yes, someone may be getting married, but perhaps they are not doing what they want career wise, or maybe someone has their dream job, but hasn't met the right person to share their life with. Good things happen, but not all at once.
wanna b friends?
why you wanna get married at 23?hell no
Just do what makes you happy
Yosh. I'm 28 and feeling so reliable. True, we can't just compare to other (even though it's challenging and depressing), but I got to try my best and not let the negativity gets in the way of my passion for drawing and working on an art career.
@@Lee-Hayoung hey, i'm the same way. do you have an instagram or something to share your art? would love to see yours, and if you want to be friend too..
Worry when you are 40 and still feeling behind, having with that one XD
I...I never expected to see you in a YT comment on a vid that I got randomly recommended. This was a surprise lmao
Oof
I am 40
or 54
Hitting 30 no more job, never had a romatical relationship. I feel so depressed
Once I've accepted I'm a loser and that it's okay to be a loser as it's not entirely in your own control, I've found a lot of peace in my mind.
the good thing thinking as a loser, winning has so much value!
I like what Mark Manson said about happiness, that actively pursuing it is actually acknowledging that you're not happy. Without bad there's no good, find your struggle.
There is an understated pressure in your 20s to 'get things done', and it is just ridiculous. Take life at your own pace. I'm 24, and I'm going back to University next year to start a new career. Think about it this way, we still need to work until we're about 65 anyway. No rush at all.
Hey guys, I’m with you! I spent 2,5 years from my 18s and graduating a school on begging my ex bf to go with me to Poland and study together at uni. This year I more or less got myself together and applied to my dream uni dream city but my ex returned and before moving to my dream city I sabotaged myself again, I came to the city and I was all alone chaotically trying to fix everything in one second but I couldn’t handle it mentally and I returned home. I’m on my 3rd gap year , I have a diagnosed bipolar disorder, I’m stuck in a town I hate but I’m still hopeful. This is my reality and if I failed it I can fix that
Hope you guys here will get over these hard states too and remain hopeful and optimistic because man we are on a floating rock nothing in this life is so serious and worthy to worry about
I'm 28, no drivers license. First generation of my Mom and Dad. Graduated college in the performing arts with a hefty amount of debt (~$60,000) and I live with regret because of it, or so I'd like to think. My profession happens be Dance; I can teach and perform improvisation within various forms of dance, everything ranging from contemporary Ballet to African dance. While it all sounds interesting, I walked away from it a few years back. Didn't feel like I belonged in the community, as its a reoccurring motif that I'm some anomaly in the mixture of personalities. Dance doesn't make enough money, so that's also part of why I haven't been doing it. I'd like to think I'm intelligent in some ways, but not enough as I'd like to be.. at the very least, emotionally.
The effort I'm making to catch up with everything that is performance has been music. Alongside dance, making music was another passion that I didn't have the environment for growing up, however through my life and meeting a few good people, I'm doing my first set literally tomorrow (or erm.. today 8/1/21) with some original music for a House music/dance summit. Again, while this all sounds nice, I still feel VERY behind in my life. Perhaps its that I equate things to money, like the debt being the very reason I feel behind. No relationships because of no time or money. Got laid off in 2020 in March, so its been awhile since I've been social. Its very heavy on me. .. yeah.. watching this video made me feel a little better.
Man, reading your story actually makes me think you're more accomplished than me and I'm a year older than you. Though I really should stop comparing myself to people... ... I too have debt from uni and have been single all my life (though the latter is the least of my concerns at the moment). I graduated with an Arts degree and a Diploma in Languages all of which took me 5 1/2 years to complete (yes, I'm a slow learner). I didn't start working a "proper" job with regular hours until I finished my degree (I was 25). And after my contract with that job ended, I was jobless for about a year and a half.
Right now, I'm doing something that's completely unrelated to my degree(I work in a supermarket). Even though I think that there's nothing wrong with my current job, sometimes I feel embarrassed when someone I know asks me what I've been up to lately or when people (i.e. coworkers and customers) ask me about my age. I look at my younger coworkers who have become supervisors and think they're well ahead of me. Not that I'm jealous or envious of them - if anything I'm happy they're able to get to that stage at such a young age (~19-21 years old) but sometimes it does make me question myself where I went or what I did wrong to make me this behind in life.
On the other hand, I try to remind myself from time to time to be grateful for what I have and that life is not a race. Everyone moves at their own pace. Like so what if I'm working as a cashier chick at 29 years old? So what if I'm back to living with parents just so I could save money and pay off my uni debt? Of course, I don't want to be stuck working at this job for very long but at the moment, I don't have very many practical options. If I could go back in time and start all over, I would probably do things differently. But obviously that's not an option. The only way is to acknowledge and learn from my mistakes and move forward.
Anyway, I'm definitely with you on this "feeling behind in life". But I'm sure things will eventually pan out for both of us. I wish you all the best with everything, man. (I on the other hand am still figuring out what I really want to do next, haha.)
...
Bruh I'm turning 30 this coming November 20 and I haven't got any work experience. I wasted years of my life after I graduated college at the age of 22 and couldn't pursue a job because my father would always get sick and I'm always the one to take care of him, I hated my father for taking his health for granted and causing the family suffering we didn't deserve. I wanted to get a job when I was 28 and then the whole world stopped because of the pandemic, to make things worst my father got covid and barely survived. We're still at the hospital right now beacause it's taking so long for my old man to recover. Everyday I wake up feeling angry because of the situation were in right now, then there's the feeling of sadness and regret. Every day I feel like shit and it doesn't go away. Now my confidence is really low and I always have doubts, what if I wouldn't be able to get a job because I got no job experience and I'm about to be 30. Man I wish I could still pull this off and turn my life around for the better🙏 Thank you guys for sharing your life experiences, God bless and good luck. I wish you all the best🙏
@@roiroi2923 Don't worry i know the feeling.
I'm also 28 and also graduated in performing arts with 2 degrees. I walked away from my career at 25 after coming home from international engagements feeling completely defeated and burnt out, I was sick of being constantly on audition circuits. I also felt like an outcast in the community because of my personality. I'm fortunate to have met my current partner who's helped me immensely. And now I'm trying to get back on track after 2 years of hiatus. Performing arts is also pretty physical. We are essentially athletes. So I'm hoping to give it a last shot while my body can still handle the repetitive stress.
Apart from the great and meaningful content, I really can't stop thinking about why this guy looks so cute.
Its the broad neck but baby face. Appearance of youth but strength of a man
yieee
It's cuz hes part of the Big Backs and Wide Lats Community.
OMG you and me both
I feel extremely behind on life compared to a lot of others I know in my age group (recently turned 29, single, no kids, no real career yet), and I tend to dwell on it excessively. But, I agree that staying away from social media definitely helps. Another thing that helps - I also try to remind myself that my path in life is in and of itself very different from many other people’s paths, which is why I should try to compare myself to others less often (my ultimate goal to become a doctor. Pure insanity, many, many long years). Another thing that helps too, practicing gratitude. Even though I feel that there are a lot of people out there who have life easier and more fair than I do, I also know there are a LOT of people that have life waaaay worse. It sounds corny, but it’s absolutely true - things could always be worse.
I'm glad I became a minimalist.
I can't feel behind if I have enough.
Because enough is as good as a feast
yeah true nobody is left behind if we don't have fancy things which add mo value to life
@@fatawkwardchungus8949 Right. I'm not against having enough money in the back (for when you actually need it), but earning lots of money for consum - or even worse, just to have more and more money - is just unnecessary
In my early to mid 20's I had a great job doing what I loved, an amazing girlfriend, lots of savings and video/music equipment
I'm now laying here at 28 and it's all gone, all of it. I lost my job, had to sell my equipment, my savings are gone, and my girlfriend of 8 years recently split up with me too. I'm now back in the exact same place as to when I was 20 haha
Edit: This story is deeper, and I want to make a video on it one day
You have experience tho...... Use it and start applying/rebuilding your life again. You are not in the same place you were at 20.
:(
No worries brother work hard
It sad, I'm assuming you lost your job due to covid? Many people are in similar situations. Unfortunately, the lockdown has done more harm then good. Killed many jobs and livihoods in the process. Divorce rates probably sky rocketed during these times too.
Easy come easy go bro lol
I don't know. I rather be like a millionaire like Kim and have a problem of losing 30k earrings than being broke and worrying about putting food on table and not getting evicted every week.
Haha fair enough!
There will always be a better situation one can be in. Once you obtain something, the thought of having it may not be what you had wanted, it doesn't bring you the joy you thought it does. Rather, be at peace with what you have, because if you are at peace at your lowest, imagine how it will feel being at your highest.
@@ed8961 I still think there's a difference between basic survival to live another day and being wealthy and having issues. The latter has an enormous safety net and sense of security that no matter what happens at least you can get food and have a roof over your head. The former not so. When you're rich you have the privilege to suffer at your heart's content. When you're poor there is no time and you literally have to bust your ass while going through all the pain, trauma, and life issues. When you're poor if you let your emotions get to you and you lose your job, you may end up homeless or worse, dead. This is what keeps majority of the population running on the wheel. It's fear. Imagine how different the world would be if we operated from a sense of love and abundance. No one would be able to exploit and control humanity.
@@xFlared No, I totally agree with you, it may be easier being rich with issues than being poor with issues. Not trying to deny there is an issue, but try to be at peace with whatever issues it is you may have. If being unhappy and worrying and despair will rectify the issue, then by all means. If it doesn't, it will only compound the problems you have. Being at peace doesn't require you to be happy, just acceptance. For if you are not at peace, regardless if you are rich or live in poverty, I feel that there will always be an never ending pursuit of something to fill in the emptiness. Not saying it's easy, but I feel like it will give us strength to move on each day to live life to it's fullest in the present moment, and also allows us to strive to achieve and improve ourselves as a byproduct and not a goal.
"Money aint everything not having it is" - Kanye
Man I am only 20 turning 21 and honestly as of late I cannot help but feel this way like I am left behind or that my life is going nowhere. But I am sure glad that I came across this video today because I really needed this video in my life. and whoever reads this, and comes across this video, a) I hope you have a nice day and that you get the things that are meant for you when you get them and b) I hope you benefit greatly from the advice given in this video
I know what I want to do and I know I can do it, but alot has kept me back. Even now I'm literally waiting for something important that I need to do coming up so I can end this slow crawl of a start. I'm grateful for the basics and I'm choosing to be happy or atleast neutral instead of being severely depressed like I was during HS.
Bro I suggest you to invest in a microphone and/or do voiceovers. Great content which gets overshadowed by the low audio quality.
Appreciate the feedback bro. You can be completely honest here, but how much does my audio make it harder for you to keep watching my video?
@@SamLui For longer videos it kinda does. I think especially in Videos with lots of talking audio quality is equally important for the experience. Also it would give you a more professional vibe and credibility
Gotcha. Thanks for the tip! I’m going to start looking into mics 👍🏼
@@SamLui Yes, please! ❤
Hey Sam Lui, how u doing?
TH-cam just recommended me your video.
For me Your audio quality wasn’t that bad though :)))
Great message! Chilling music in background!
I just loved it. Keep doing man! 🔥✌️💪
Thank you for this. It made me tear up because i have feeling quite low. It made me feel so understood. Thank you from the bottom of my heart :)
Thank you for the kind words 😊
I'm 22 going on 23 and I feel this. I'm about to graduate with a degree and I have a decent job lined up, but I feel like I've already wasted my youth away. Basically have spent nearly a decade spending 90% of my time indoors and not living life like I should have. Meanwhile my peers are already married, traveling, etc. It sucks.
21 and this is a sign. No job currently, feel like I'm just waiting for the next day to come everyday, no income, living in a housing program....yeah...
In my early 20s I was a NEET for 5 years, severely depressed and given up on life. One day I decided to find an entry-level, labor-intensive job as an AV technician. I was partnered with a strong-willed senior co-worker who was in his 40s. I enjoyed my job but I was struggling to fit in the company. I quit after 3 months but continued freelancing in the industry.
Fast forward a couple years. Now I'm 30 and thanks to COVID I'm back to being a NEET. I'm burning through my hard-earned savings, but I'm happy and content with life. I hear my ex-partner passed on from heart issues. It hits me hard - I stop trying to think and worry about things, and just enjoy the present more. If you're constantly worrying or feeling bad about your situation, you're not living life.
My friend said to me that Happiness is a choice. Never have i ever given that phrase a thought unless I watched this video. Thanks Sam!!
Wise friend you got there ;)
I felt like this many times in my 20's. But now that I'm a few short years away from being 40 and even worse off in every way..."feeling it" is a significant understatement.
Also, that $75k a year study is not only outdated but contains many flaws. I had a very brief period of success in my life where things were actually going well and I can promise you, money, success, having nice things, ABSOLUTELY makes you happy.
I have a house, i have a wife, i'm gonna be a dad, i have a fine job with a good pay and i still feel like this. It just won't go, the best is to learn to live with this feeling and just take care about what's important to you.
For me it's thinking about my incoming baby. Just thinking about it makes me happy. It gives me a goal.
"Don't let your happiness be conditional." What a powerful phrase! Thanks man!
I needed this rn really badly after getting cheated on and in my 20s with no job or direction, damn but i still have so much around me. Family, friends, house, love, and life
Sending you all the good vibes
Thank you so much for making this video, I was feeling down today and this makes me feel less alone! Being in your 20s and having friends in different states of life is very hard because you keep comparing yourself to them
In my life i learned two lessons that brought me happiness:
1. Don't worry about the results, care about the process. No matter how healthy will you live, you will die eventually and the only thing that matters is how did you live. ... In other words, don't expect that if you do everything right, it will end well. Sometimes things don't work out but you can find comfort in knowing that you did the right thing.
2. I never fix on the idea of what i want, i live day by day and just avoid what I don't want. It's like driving in reverse. I am never sure if I'm somewhere, where I want to be, but I am sure I'm never where I don't want to be.
Maybe it will help someone too.
I'm almost 21 and the beginning of the year I finally did something with myself and got a part time job, still can't drive and don't even know what it would be like to live on my own so yeah I feel left behind.
You got this, bro. An adventure starts with a beginning, and clearly, you've already started. Now you're on the long run; there'll be ups and downs, but at the end of it all, you'll know that you've accomplished something 👍👍
everyone needs to start somewhere atleast your trying congrats even the richest people started with jobs keep pushing the sky is the limit
You're not missing out on much if you try living out on your own with little funds. I would make the most of living at home and only move out when you can move into a place that you really like and have decent funds and income. This is what I wish I did, hope it helps. I did learn a lot of lessons though, living in 5 different share houses in 3 years. But now I am back at home at 23, almost 24. Driving doesn't matter, it can be a waste of time, public transport is better - you can be more productive, don't have to constantly think about the road/worry and you can be around people (unless dealing with COVID in the community, then driving would be better). Wish I was back at your age! Would not have moved into crap housing or drove so much.
Living on your own is not that big of a deal tbh. This is just how the west is setting as an unnecessary standard towards us young people.
Some of the comments already mentioned this but I want to also chime in. Living on your own is super overrated. Living with your parents/guardians is always going to be a more affordable and easier solution than living alone. Sure, you can get independence away from your family for the first time, but with how the world is atm and how much crazy bs is happening, it solidifies how important it is to stay close to family.
This is a great message. I've always told myself I want to be happy NOW and not just 30 years down the road! Still, sometimes the inadequacy creeps up. Thanks for the reminder! Keep making great content
It’s important to strike a balance so you don’t feel that you’re depriving yourself 🙂 thanks for watching!
Could not agree more! I find that keeping a journal also helps. At the end of every day, I write down all the things I'm proud of doing that day. Even if it's just waking up and eating three meals. Nobody becomes successful/athletic/socially adept instantaneously. It takes work and habit formation. And habits can take multiple first attempts and/or may be slow to start. If you always just aim to have a good day, then you'll find yourself over time enjoying a good life.
since I was a kid I never care about what others doing, I just enjoy drawing whatever I want and never ask others' opinions too. But when I start to go to college and have social media, I'm starting to care and curious about these friends because they gain more attention, praise about what they made in college.,so that's when I start to get stress, anxiety, and too much fear to draw. now, after graduate, I just wanna keep my distance from others and hope I can back to the previous playful & happy feel
Omg your story sounds like my story 🤝
Great video! I've realized that social media is just so unhealthy for me. I rarely use it now and I feel so much better.
Social media can be a double edged sword for me. But im glad u feel better without it!
Underrated video, with great advice.
Thank you for showing me your point of view on happiness and life, I have realised that the reason that I stopped working out and self improving was because I compared myself to others all the time, it made me lose motivation and eventualy give up.
Hope more people hear your advise ❤️
Comparing yourself to others can be hard on the self esteem. We just gotta focus on our own lane and go from there! Thanks for watching!
Never joined social media only TH-cam I’m 20
This is such an underrated comment, it's so true! Comparing myself to others reduces my motivation as well. I'm working on just comparing to my past self to see real progress, and started documenting things a few years ago to keep track of this.
Life is not a competition. Everyone has their own path and noone knows what the future holds. I hope you'll find more meaning in the little things you do in your daily life and realise how much you've grown and achieved so far 🌼 love the video!
The Thumbnail is really me. Hits really like a knock out punch to me. I have no job and no love-life for now as a 26 year old guy.
28 years old.
Had a decent paying job after quitting my other one. So I had two jobs overall (first one started a year after graduating high school), but then COVID hit and forced me to quit my second job. Been out of the workforce since May 2020 and had no relationship since ending a toxic one back in 2012.
This video hits me deep.
Thank you Sam, you can be so proud of how far you've accomplished!! Also a great quote I love: "You're only competition is the person that you were yesterday."
I'm 40, and I have always felt behind since my early 20s. it never ends.
You scared me even more , thanks
Wise words, I totally agree on deleting social media!! I made the choice a month ago and now I feel free from all the comparisons that were holding me down. Life starts when you start being grateful about what you have and when you live everyday as it comes, when you open your eyes to appreciate the small moments of joy and remember them when you are down. Also, understanding that we are all in the same boat and that we should be dedicating our lives to making other people's lives better!! I hope that you may achieve all that you believe in and be touched by the wonderful process that life is. And next time someone says "what are you doing with your life?" you can say "I'm just living it!".
I'm 23 fresh graduate and i dunno what to do with my life. I feel like i'l left behind.
You’re not alone! We’re all gonna figure this out together.
Hey! That's totally normal as a new graduate, you'll start to find things for yourself. Putting yourself out there and trying lots of things will start to help you find your place faster!
You should note, there are many more 23yr old non graduates than there are graduates. You're much further ahead than you realize.
@@dacentafielda12 this is exactly what i was going to comment. So many of us didn't even have a chance to accomplish that.
i'am 25 and i feel i have spent so much time wasting my life being lost and using all the energy i have left to survive ! i want to believe that things will get better but im already past the stage where i see no hope in that anymore :(
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 2 months ago about self development. Now I have 189 subs and almost 82 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
I’m in my mid 20’s here. Attending university and working a part time job. I deleted all of my social media years ago and I don’t regret it. I’m single and don’t even care in the slightest to get a girlfriend, but I do want a nice car, a house, and a good paying job where I can be happy.
Didn't know I needed to watch this video, I'm slowly recovering from my inner demons making choices that are better for myself and not other people. Even my family. I don't feel behind, I feel lost to be honest. But thank you for this advice Sam!
This is what I needed right now, and I didn’t even know it! COVID makes it feel like no progress is being made.. thank you!
Thank you for watching!!
Wow. I really needed to hear this. I've been feeling this lately, BIG time. I'm 25 still living at home with my parents. I've dealt with autism and ADHD since I was kid. Was medicated with guanficine throughout my school years and it looked like I had a promising future when I was in my senior year. I got off the meds before I graduated. When I graduated, I didn't have any plans for the future, no dreams. So, I just got a job in retail and just entered a repetitive cycle of going to work and home for over 7 years. I have a driver's license, but don't drive because I can't afford a car and have SEVERE anxiety behind the wheel. So, my mom drives me around. Slowly became more dependent on my parents.
It wasn't until late last year did I realize that I wasn't progressing in my life. I was just repeating the cycle over and over again expecting my life to magically change. Going to work to a job that I hate with a burning passion, coming home to a somewhat controlling mother and an alcoholic father, going to bed just to repeat it all again the next day. It wasn't benefiting me in any way. I was depressed, anxious, and severely unhappy with myself to the point where I've had severe suicidal thoughts and horrific emotional breakdowns. I decided right then and there that I would take the necessary steps to move forward with my life and achieve my OWN brand of happiness.
So, I've applied for college with hopes of getting accepted soon and start attending in January. I plan to major in either chemistry or biology with hopes of working in a lab. I recently got a prescription for Adderall to help with my ADHD, results are promising so far. I've recently embraced simple living and realized that I don't need some big house, lots of money, or fancy cars to be happy. And I've recently admitted to myself and came out that I am trans. Granted, I do have to remain in the closet since I'm living at home and I don't think my mom will take the news well, but I plan to start my transition in college and will start living as my true self. It's gonna be a long road to get where I want to be, but the only way to get there is to keep going forward. I will my own life according my own standards and will not let social media or other people dictate how I should achieve happiness in my life.
Thank you for this video, Sam. Really means a lot.
Loved every single sentence of your comment! In your journey, always know that this random stranger on the internet is rooting for you! And that stranger is me! Keep progressing forward!
@@kimpossible4587 Thank you so much. It's nice to know that my words struck a chord with someone. Warms my heart.
I don't know what your struggles are, but just know that I extend the same courtesy. I'll be rooting for you as well.
I hope everything goes so well for you that u never get any suicidal thoughts... instead u Fall in love with ur life ...my prayers are there for you
Doing the thing you wanted to do and failing is better than regret.
Wisdom.
Thank you for the reminder that I should only compare myself against myself and not to anyone else. Seeing others follow the default pattern in life (relationship, house, kids etc.) makes me feel like I'm behind, but in reality being single means I'm free to do whatever, I have steady income and I'm almost done finishing a second degree. Again, many thanks for the reminder. Hidden gems like this video on youtube is literally free therapy. keep up the good work :D
Single is underrated!
Sam, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Fortunately you showed up in the best moment ever. Thank you so much.
To all: wherever you are in this world, you are not alone. Hang in there guys ✌️☮️
Yosh. I'm 28 and feeling so reliable. True, we can't just compare to other (even though it's challenging and depressing), but I got to try my best and not let the negativity gets in the way of my passion for drawing and working on an art career.
Snapchat, twitter and instagram gone from my phone just by waching this video.
I will now try and start to read books, wish me good luck man!
Love from sweden
Im 27 years old, and i just only starting my journey to achieve my goals in life, because for the last few years ive been depressed, and i figured out why, because of my past habit in life, im addicted to game, i always used game in a form of escapsm, now that i quit, i realize how much time a wasted, but no regret, past experiences taught me so much and make me who i am today, i choose to be happy and take action to achieve my goal, ✌️😊🤗
sorry for my english not my first languange
Im glad i watched your video/channel.
@@box3642 I played a lot of games specially strategic games, just like Dota2, Warcraft csgo, mlbb.
English is very good 💪🏽
You can still game as a hobby just learn self control. Same for alcohol its not bad you just need to control yourself.
@@SeudXe Dont tell him to control an addiction he should quit it all for good.
@@viennala2528 Dont worry i've already been through in that process, just like phantom said, and its only work for a weeks, months, after that you will realized again how much time games consume you. if you can earn by playing vgames that good, if your a teen play less, if your an adult its a diffirent, maybe my time playing vgames passes by.
✌️😊😂
This video just helped me realize that, I may not have that husband, or that well paying job, or those 3 cars. But I have done a lot of emotional maturing.. I don't have the physical things those old high school class mates have. But I have self improved my mental state, my social abilities and my insecurities a lot.
I also have gained the bestest friend I could ever hope for, which was something I never had before.
Wow this really helped me see things in a different perspective. I am 21, and currently I have worked since I was 18, started going to college since I was 19 studying computer science, and have a girlfriend. I never thought I'd have any of these things, even after everything I've been through. Everyone has their process and their struggles, eventually you'll find a purpose.
I feel like this. Seeing my former classmates becoming models, going overseas and having good jobs. It's hard but I know I am not on the same road as them. I have my own goals and dreams.
This video popped up in my feed the other day and I've been thinking. I feel so behind in life. I'm 21 and never had a job or done anything great that I could add on my resume and I was never in a relationship and never got my first kiss. Currently I'm studying physics at university and I hate it. The only reason I don't quit right now is because I only need to pass 2 exams to get my degree even though I failed those two one time already. Since I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to do anything with physics after I graduate I went down a downward spiral where I got lost in my old habits of procrastination, playing hours of video games and such things. I don't strive to get a good mark on an exam anymore. I don't take a job because I'm worried that if I get one I won't be able to pass my last two exams. At the same time I only shut myself into my room and only go out if necessary. Some of my friends say they envy that I stuck it out so long with my studies and that I am one of the few who's really almost at the end from all those who started out during the same time as me. That helped a little but to be honest I still kinda feel behind. Covid didn't help, but it opened my eyes in some way. It made me realize that the way of a scientist is just not my way. I hope this pandemic is a wake up call for my future self to never cease opportunities that I've never ceased before like just saying yes to that party or yes to that convention I wanted to go to. It's hard for me to get into my good habits again due to all the resistance on the way. But I hope everyone who also struggles with that, that you stick it out. I believe you'll be rewarded if you stick it out just a little longer. Thanks for reading
There are soooo many jobs that don’t care what your major was! I hope you can finish :)
I am 22 and I have recently graduated and I feel the same right now, I just realised that I don't like my major I'm so worried and anxious 😔
Dude I switched from physics to biology and loved biology but now I can’t find jobs 😭
I used to live in a wealthy area but moved to a small town 3 hrs away. Everyone in the city was rude, impatient and stuck up. The houses kept getting bigger and everyone drove expensive luxury cars. I am so much happier in a small laid back town where we are not chasing material possessions. The city was just too busy and everyone was just rushing everywhere
dropped outta college... life dont end here!....
SUCCESS COME FROM PERSEVERANCE AND DAILY SMALL TASK TOWARDS YOUR GOAL!.
The guilt was eating at me the most. And ugh, that explains it! I am able to feed my body, sleep under a roof with running water and unlimited wifi, BUT I have been struggling desperately to find that psychological safety in many aspects of my life. Safety has been the hardest need to fulfill for me. Thank you for the clarification!
I feel super behind in life. I really enjoy being a content creator and its something that no one else is doing in my family. Everyone is either in college pursuing a degree, or has a job and is making money. What they're doing is great and all, but I have no interest in doing what they're doing. I want to be on youtube and make this my career. It's just that I have no one to turn to for help or for some advice because I'm alone in this and no one else understand my situation. The fear of not be able to make it as a content creator and the pressure of having to meet my families expectations are weighing down on me. I don't really have a way to deal with how I feel and I'm pretty stressed from it all. This video is honestly really good and I'm glad I clicked on it. I rarely share personal things especially online and I think this video is great for anyone feeling the same way that I do. Thanks Sam.
This actually really helped me... I've been in a funk for the last 2 years. Thank you for reminding me happiness is a state of mind & to accept myself the way I am.
For the ones falling behind i am 28 about to be 29 in january. I have had pretty bad luck with my previous jobs and love life. I am single now and i am about to restart my life. I am back to college to study a new career (because here in my country is free) and i know this is my passion and makes me happy to think about it everyday, i also workout and have met new friends and not planning to look back. Find your purpose, follow your passion, don't think about being single and the right one will appear eventually.
Finally, a youtube recommendation gives me hope instead of start overthinking in my life.