I sometimes just give up browsing and rewatch stuff ive seen before that I know matches with the values I want to see in a movie 😂 thats when i dont want to deal with the disappointment of starting a new movie/series that leaves a sour taste
I'm starting to realize that the issue is often that we don't use our intuition when making decisions. There is a great societal pressure to be able to explain your decisions logically, so we are conditioned to perform mental gymnastics in our head to find explanations to our intuitions to the point that we question the original idea. We create this internal drama between feelings and logic, but a possible resolution might be to listen to our intuition and get our emotional highs from the consequences of those decisions.
It’s 2021 and I have no idea how I got here. Your videos are warm, welcoming and informative. You are presenting information, some that’s not easy to hear, in an accessible manner. Thank you for being your kick ass self and sharing the gift of lifting up others. I recently learned my type and I found it to be a source of shame, disappointment, sadness and the hopelessness of the character descriptions “put me” in a downward spiral. It’s hard to hear some of this when you’ve tried to hide it from others and maybe yourself for the duration of your life. Through sharing experiential advice and new perspectives you’ve allowed me to learn more about what’s inside of me and how to address the parts I desperately want to. I have some confidence building in me that I’m not defined by words and that the ability to move in a positive direction is there if I can find it. That’s the real thank you. High five to you, new friend. Cheers, -SM
Also add that others all too frequently expect you to make decisions really quickly. That again causes a lot of pressure, and instead of being able to properly read the situation (Ne subdominant), that forces us to go by what we already know, which may not accurately fit the situation at hand. To make things worse, then we even get blamed for making suboptimal decisions.
Do any other infp's struggle with commitment? As in I dont ever want to agree to something, especially if I'm put on the spot. What if I think about it later and decide it's not a good Idea? I need time to think about most things and I often will not give answers until I absolutely have to... example if my friend or coworkers ask me to go to the movies I'll ask what time what movie, and if it's a 6pm showing and they ask me at noon, my answer will almost always be "let me think about it." And most of the time I dont get back with them until it's time to get in the car and go.... and also I hate being asked questions, or when my thought process is interrupted... anyone else??
Committing, as an introvert and as a judger (introverted feeling), is a hard thing. Whatever you decide on feels like a solid conclusion about your identity.
If its important or requires committing to a new idea then it needs to be filtered thru my moral and logical framework. When it feels truly authentic to me then I'll commit. (Or make adjustments to suit me and THEN commit) If its not overly important (or I'm not overly interested)... I'm really good at procrastinating and getting lost in new ideas or projects. I think its the process of constantly defining and re defining self and any absolute commitments feel too restrictive. Also.... ADHD....
i relate completely, and weirdly I've become less and less capable of committing to things as I've got older. It's clear to me now that I don't like committing to things in case I don't feel like doing whatever it is when the time comes. When I was younger I found myself bring corralled into things, so now I just say no first, and go back if i decide to reconsider.
Just try your self every single they what you really want to do, talk to your self and challange your self for it. Although is for a small decision you have to try for make it by yourself. Not from others people. Of course, you could being decisive person if you try it so much. Good luck. From entj 👩💻
My boyfriend and I used to struggle with this for the first couple of years into our relationship and it horrified me to realize he took it as not caring when I meant it as I care about you so much that I’d rather you pick because I want you to be happy. 😬 We get eachother a lot better now fortunately. He’s an ENTJ so he processes things so differently than me but I think we level eachother out great.
INFP's are the masters of perspective, but we are inept when it comes to executing things. In order to see the whole picture, what was taken away from us was the ability to either 1. decide or 2. follow through with things. Also it's kind of funny to watch an INFP try to hammer a nail into a wall.
This is generally how the thought pattern goes when I'm asked superficial questions like "do you want to go to restaurant X"... I go into this deep thought trying to feel out how my last experience was. I might think to myself. Was it crowded ? Was the server nice ? Was the food good? but before I can decide on how I actually felt about the last visit, I'm thinking about the group of people who were singing happy birthday, and how I had never had deep fried pickles up until then, and trying to remember how they taste or if I liked them, and the kid who kept throwing his straw and keep on going,........and usually end up saying something like "if you want to, I'm good with that."
Sometimes I 'create' an extraverted voice in my head to force myself to make decisions, especially for small things. I need that voice to assure me that 'it's just juice, if I don't like the flavour I can always get the other flavour next time.' But with bigger life decisions it is tough, especially since I always consider how my actions will affect those close to me not just myself... the desire to make the right/perfect decision is a lot of pressure; making a choice becomes a real mental battle even when using my best logic & value- standard.
Finally I understood why it’s so difficult for me to make decisions from simple ones such as where to eat to whether I should leave a relationship. I feels like I have to be authentic to myself and values for each decision and it is really so pressuring that I rather not decide on anything and let others decide or let things slide. Which is not good.
I'm an INFP and I always know what I want... I am also spontaneous. I decide whatever I want at the moment and let future Gisella worry about the consecuences. Usually there are none.
Good to know. I always fear the consequences and it stops me from following spontaneity/joy/impulse/heart/instinct. And use my head to generate logical answers (whilst trying to see into crystal ball). I wait til everyone had bought into my decision, which is really stressful. .. Only then can I be relieved..... Often i feel short changed cos I compromised everyone else's happiness and factored mine out of the equation..!!! Xxx
@@CoralBalmoral I think I am actually an ENTP... I do worry about consequences, but I don't fear them. I get an idea, think of the worst that could happen if I do it, and if I believe I could manage I just go for it. I do nothing if I am not 100% prepared to fail. I usually am.
@@gisebasso good for you! I feel very uncomfortable about failing; and it wouldn't occur to me to think what would be the worst thing that could happen, even though it's sensible and I should try. I think as a feelie, that's quite a thinky way to consider it... Thinking of failing feels excruciating but, maybe I need to practice that approach. Xx
Authenticity, forgiveness, kindness (love and intuitive connection), creativity (spontaneity, silliness, innovation) growth (deep communication) and harmony! I love it when someone (who deeply cares about me, or I’m convinced loves me even if I lost an eye) gives me a critique of myself, even if its harsh it impacts me for life
Wow. That was so weird. I'm also an INFP and my immediate thoughts on my values as I was watching this were authenticity, kindness and creativity. You can imagine my surprise when I heard your list. Also, growth makes an excellent fourth :) I'm really enjoying your videos btw, keep up the good work.
When you said values, the first on my list has always been authenticity and when I figured yours was too...I was happy to know that maybe it's an INFP thing!
great advice mate. Made me reflect on my own decision making processes. As an INFP i find it hard to make decision that will impact other peoples emotion. Some resonating words, thanks man.
Yea very helpful. I just lost 2000 dollars because of my indecisiveness. But I feel better that this related to my personality. I am going to work at it
I have this good feeling while watching your videos about INFP. It’s like I am watching that explains who I am. And what I should do. It feels great. I don’t know why. It’s like the video is saying it is fine to be me because I am just me. It is not wrong to be me. Now I have answers on some questions in my mind and why I was thinking the way I am thinking especially when deciding anything or knowing someone.
Commitment is hard for us unless we have extreme passion, then it is the easiest thing in the world. But how often do you have that much passion? I met my husband in middle age, and I never had to decide that I wanted to marry him. It was so clear to me that I wanted to share my life with him. But before I met him, I struggled many times with commitment in relationships and just could not do it. I thought something was wrong with me. What was wrong was that I hadn't met the right man, but I assumed it had to be me, so I stayed in relationships that were not right for me. I have learned now that if I don't feel passionate about the outcome of the decision, then it is not the right decision. It just is how I am wired.. PS: stay away from thinkers for life partners. If you are an INFP, you need a feeler or you will spend your entire life thinking there is something wrong with yourself.
Thank you so much for this video. I really get all messed up when making some important decisions, even when I have to decide whether to hang out or not with somebody.
Thanks, I love the practical approach of your video think it can really help me getting better at this as an INFP, 😂💪🏼In fact, I just realised this morning I let someone else decide something for me because I was kind of still clueless and not in the mood and now Im more thinking about the Impact for her. Think its important to reflect truely and keep groing and your video helps mirroring that in a clear way. Hope this makes sense (English isnt my first language) Have a good day!
great way to explain things..! me as an infp , hates being scolded, preach or when ppl misunderstand me these three things affecting my own value and ego
Thank you for making this. Pressure from outside (society) on the incorrectness of introverted feeling makes these concepts harder to see. You describe them in a way that I can easily look at situations in my life and see why I did or didn't act in alignment with who I am.
I think I am experiencing some cognitive dissonance when it comes to my own values. I seem to behave as though comfort and security are my main values as I have been taught that way by my parents and mentors and to be honest feel safe in my life but honestly even though my life is safe and predictable and comfortable, I am in a workplace and relationship that do not value individuality and creativity and I find that I am kind of outside myself as my life passes me by. I have finally came to the conclusion that escaping would be worth the moderate struggle that might come with it. I still haven't gotten my foot out the door (as I had only discovered it recently..)
Yeah. I think it was similar for me in the sense that I was living a comfortable life, but being content wasn’t going to bring me the joy and success I wanted. Pushing myself to leave that content feeling was really an important step for me.
I always love watching this video since I have a history of taking too much time making decisions. I remember I was dating someone once and they got upset because I took forever looking at the menu. Tip for other INFPs who have dealt with this... please stand to the side so other people can order first. Remember, try to focus on their needs. They went to a "fast" food restaurant so it's fast and it is rude to just stand there wondering if you should get a cheeseburger or a big salad... if a big salad... oh, the various types and dressings... noooo. Yes, last part a joke.
I have watched so many of your videos in the last few days! They are so helpful!! It’s so encouraging to listen to another infp explain in their own words what our personality is all about. Hearing all of your own personal experiences is helpful too. Believe it or not, I am an infp who struggles with reading (bummer). I love to research and learn new things. Listening to someone speak is so much easier for me. Thank you!
I was given a 15 dollar voucher for uber eats and spent almost 2 hours deciding what I wanted 🤔. Its hard to take charge and be confident in your decision, even if its small. I got an eggplant dish that didn't mention in the description they put a whole corriander plant on there dishes.. But you learn from mistakes 😅
making desicions is hard everything must feel right and we see possibilities as well. Now when it comes to chores like shopping values don't come in but in general I just do what feels right. My values are Christian based so my music must have lyrics that reflect that.
The decisions that appeal to my values are the easy ones for me (INFP) to make. They just seem obvious. It's the choices that don't have an apparent moral impact that I find more difficult to make. In this case, I try to (quickly) weight pros and cons for myself and others.
I am INFP and also Libra. I can't help myself but keep thinking about all the consequences of my decision. I tend to think from every side of the story. It's impossible to be fair every time 😅
So true. This is totally me, INFP. Nice to know INFP is just like a program. I’ve had to learn how to make decisions even when I’d rather not. Great video.
i've been into mbti for about half a year now and i'm still lost. different tests give me different results, but it's almost always bouncing between infj and infp. i can't quite say which one resonates more but this video was really relatable, even your hand movements haha :D the biggest reason i really relate to infj though is that i think that i have quite strong Fe, always considering others' reactions to my decisions and how they might feel if i do something. but then again i've wondered if that has to do with low self confidence in general, which is a problem regardless of type... i don't know. but decision making is certainly one area i need practice in. thanks for the video, it was really thought provoking. edit: another source of confusion is that those tests that measure cognitive functions always say Ni is my strongest function... i don't even fully understand Ni haha
ParusCaeruleus _ I was first typed INFJ but now I know that I am INFP. There is a pretty simple rule: do you know how you feel and think a lot about it? -> If yes, you are likely an INFP
Peter Vanille Peter Vanille hmm interesting! i do think about how i feel a lot but half the time i don’t _know_ how i feel if that makes sense. although i think that could stem from some non-personality related problems i have. gotta continue growing and maybe one day things settle
I've read that you're a 9 type in Enneagram as well, aren't you? It makes me really happy to get the experience from an INFP 9, as I notice you've probably reaching your healthiest levels on the integration process - not an easy thing to do. I'm a 9w8 INFP and I have to confess I've struggled way a lot in harmonising with my surroundings, not that I'm starting getting better at it lol but I've noticed I might like to start asserting myself more and kicking off that decisiviness. I appreciate a lot not getting in conflict with anyone, though that 8 wing bad assertively applied does not help me that much. Funny thing is that being an INFP doesn't guarantee you know yourself til the point you have figured out what your values are, we feel them but quite not know them... All my life considering myself introspective somehow is kinda a joke to me now. Now that I get that technique to make an assesment, I should tell myself that is not gonna being as easy as it happens to me that i'm indecisive even to pick up which adjective or value describes me best lol I also feel the same about not wanting to be a bitter angry person and not being too comfortable as regards what I interpret as push oneself out of comfort zone, but to be honest the latter i don't do that often. By the way, what's your experience with you enneagram's wings, I would love to hear you talking about that in another video. Thanks for the content, very insightful as commonly :)
INFP 9w1 :D I've still got a long way to go, but thank you! "Funny thing is that being an INFP doesn't guarantee you know yourself" YES! It really is funny how we can make decisions based on what "feels right" even when we don't actually develop the deep understanding of it. I haven't explored wings too much tbh. I love Enneagram, but I keep going back to the cognitive functions. I'll think about it and see if any analogies pop up.
@@GeekPsychology Can you link me to a good free site where i can carry out this Ennegram test? I see it a lot but dont know what it is. I found a few links but they I have to pay or insert my damned email address and I dont like doing it.
I think that it also has to do with all the things you have to deside the actually doesn't matter to you. If it doesn't light that spark that feeling l have nothing to go with. It doesn't matter to me.
Yay, love, authenticity, freedom, harmony, integrity, levelling up, creativity, exploring! ❤️🏆👍 all these " ". Eliciting values then using them for decision making. It's slow because it builds in our values and also requires others' buy-in for harmony. Which takes time to get from enough people.
Ausome freaking vid. I learned so much and was able to quickly see how this technique of writing a list of values is so similar to how in Branding, (I’m a graphic designer) I would encourage a client to come up with a mission statement, something to filter all of a company’s public facing decisions through, and be a quick reference for employees and affiliates to quickly evaluate professional choices. Somehow I wasn’t seeing the value in crafting my own mission statement. Not that I’m not always evolving but so is any good brand.
Practical advice :) Thank you. On top of categorizing the priority list, I also think that we (infps) have to take time everyday refining the list and consolidating each item on the list, from reasons and motivations behind each core value to definitions (e.g. "Authenticity" from Existentialism) and pros (benefits) and cons (sacrifices) for each core value we want to hold, in order to make more confident decisions when we're applying the list. And btw, do you have any recommendations of reading materials regarding gamification? I'm currently reading Actionable Gamification from Yu Kai Chou which I find applicable, but would love to gather sources from you :D Thank you for the video.
Great ideas. I really like the goal of listing pros and cons to each. It could help you tweak things to give more towards or away motivation when your willpower alone isn't cutting it. I don't, sorry. The only book I've read on it is Actionable Gamification :P
Its really weird becouse I have Fi Ne Ni Ti. (No Si and Te) I dont have any problems with making decisions. Im dominant and independent. But its really hard to Me to put thoughts and ideas into reality and stay in touch with others, becouse Im so invidualistic, idealistic and private . Even so I am very expressive and I have strong personal values. Its great to see people with strong sense of identity!! LOVE YOU ALL MY INFPS.. ;>
Are you actually an INFJ Enneagram 4 and are mixing Fe and Fi? Just a thought :P Gotta have some Sensing and some externally derived method of making decisions.
You know, I am sure that I dont have Fe and Im not INFJ, but I am 4 on Enneagram. :) MBTI are so label and dont fit sometimes. It is like: if have Fi, that person also must have Te. It actually dont look like that. There are many people who are mix of some types or dont fit anywhere. Maybe I developed 2 last functions that are usually not for INFP? So rebellious! :x It is much more deeper, like all psychology. Good luck to solve these mysteries! Also thanks for answer. :)
Yes! Thank you. I wanted to include ISFPs, but it would've messed up the video descriptions and some other minute details. I actually edited out some of that explanation and felt bad for it. :(
im an infp and i have anxiety, its kinda like seeing all the possibilities, but only expanding on the worst ones, then getting more anxious about if the person will literally hate me if i make the wrong decision or if they had some underlying meaning in asking the question, to test me and see which answer i would pick and then make fun of me or tell everyone if i picked an answer that isnt the most acceptable answer in the group of people im sorrounded by... typing it out actually sounds insane and im working on getting help currently lol
Sooooo.... this is why I hate multiple choice tests lol Honestly sometimes I'm good at decisions and absolutely realize that I need to assert myself, but sometimes it's so hard to just choose ONE path. I want to explore, find myself in everything and make everyone happy along the way. Lmao mistakes are the best way to learn, it's so true for us though. I think of life as The Witcher after you said XP haha such a good example of sometimes choosing the wrong thing. And sometimes you save the day.
It's easy for daily life decision making, bcs I don't like to waste time. But it's hard for life decision-making, like marriage and other life impact decisions and I just want the other person decide for me, it's easier, I'll accept just like that or with some suggestions. Thanks for explaining, really really helpful :)
The opposite type of INFP would be the ESTJ, who seems to be very good (quick ) when it comes to making decisions. Using that idea, I think it might be logical that the INFP might struggle with it more? Looking at the letters too, the i is kinda slow (but deep), the N is very big picture thinking (but slower), the feeling function is more complicated than the thinking one, and the perceptive function is not that decisive either as the judging one is.
You use Ne and Si to make decisions INFPs. Your auxiliary function is Ne and your tertiary function is Si. Introverted feeling is your dominant function just like it is fot ISFPs. You mentioned in a video pertaining to ENFPs and ESFPs that they make their decisions based on their auxiliary and tertiary function so that would mean INFPs and all other types make their decisions based on their second and third cognitive functions.
Not quite The perceiving functions (intuition and sensing) feed information to the judging functions (thinking and feeling). The judging functions are the “rational” functions that make the decisions. For an INFP, the dominant function is a judging function. For an ENFP the auxiliary and tertiary are judging functions.
Can I ask a question? How an INFP decide things when they are under pressure or when they are depressed. And how long they will recover from their depression?
Sounds like 2 different issues: being under pressure and being depressed :o How long does it take to learn to change your state: 5 minutes. How long does it take before actually implementing it regularly: ??? It took me many years. Does not have to though. I'll see if I can formulate some thoughts on it and make a video.
If you are faced with a decision that has n equally viable options, a good way to avoid postponing is tossing dice in your head. Whatever the result, stick with it.
I am not sure how to ask but why do infp seem to be noncommittal? Like could be foot in and foot out of door? I've known a few that will back up and Is it testing or they just can't think on making decisions and sticking with Do you know?
I'm the worst at deciding about anything... I especially truggle in realitionships.. I hurt so many people by trying to make the best decision with best outcome for all.. untill I was too tired of it and decided on the spot.. and now I'm regretting everytjing and hate myself. As much as I love some people I'm starting to close to myself so I won't hurt anyone. Should probably see therapist not writing it here huh.. noone will read this... whatever.
Browsing netflix is a INFP nightmare
Modestas Salvis RIGHT!?!?
I sometimes just give up browsing and rewatch stuff ive seen before that I know matches with the values I want to see in a movie 😂 thats when i dont want to deal with the disappointment of starting a new movie/series that leaves a sour taste
I never actually watch anything I just add things to my list.
Good to know I’m not the only one 😱😁
@@loisrabies8713 YESSSS😂😂
All the INFP's I know can't make decisions and talk wildly with their hands.
OMG that's so me
HAH yes we do 😂😂
Amber McQuiston well, now I KNOW I’m infp... was still trying to figure it out but this sentence really brings it home! 😱🤣
To a T - Your friendly INFP
HAHAHA Haven't thought about that before but its virtually impossible to talk without my hands!!!
I'm starting to realize that the issue is often that we don't use our intuition when making decisions. There is a great societal pressure to be able to explain your decisions logically, so we are conditioned to perform mental gymnastics in our head to find explanations to our intuitions to the point that we question the original idea.
We create this internal drama between feelings and logic, but a possible resolution might be to listen to our intuition and get our emotional highs from the consequences of those decisions.
It’s 2021 and I have no idea how I got here.
Your videos are warm, welcoming and informative. You are presenting information, some that’s not easy to hear, in an accessible manner.
Thank you for being your kick ass self and sharing the gift of lifting up others.
I recently learned my type and I found it to be a source of shame, disappointment, sadness and the hopelessness of the character descriptions “put me” in a downward spiral. It’s hard to hear some of this when you’ve tried to hide it from others and maybe yourself for the duration of your life.
Through sharing experiential advice and new perspectives you’ve allowed me to learn more about what’s inside of me and how to address the parts I desperately want to. I have some confidence building in me that I’m not defined by words and that the ability to move in a positive direction is there if I can find it.
That’s the real thank you.
High five to you, new friend.
Cheers,
-SM
So soo true
Also add that others all too frequently expect you to make decisions really quickly. That again causes a lot of pressure, and instead of being able to properly read the situation (Ne subdominant), that forces us to go by what we already know, which may not accurately fit the situation at hand.
To make things worse, then we even get blamed for making suboptimal decisions.
Don't ever articulate my whole existence like that!
Aswear. It's so annoying😂😂
Do any other infp's struggle with commitment? As in I dont ever want to agree to something, especially if I'm put on the spot. What if I think about it later and decide it's not a good Idea? I need time to think about most things and I often will not give answers until I absolutely have to... example if my friend or coworkers ask me to go to the movies I'll ask what time what movie, and if it's a 6pm showing and they ask me at noon, my answer will almost always be "let me think about it." And most of the time I dont get back with them until it's time to get in the car and go.... and also I hate being asked questions, or when my thought process is interrupted... anyone else??
Committing, as an introvert and as a judger (introverted feeling), is a hard thing. Whatever you decide on feels like a solid conclusion about your identity.
If its important or requires committing to a new idea then it needs to be filtered thru my moral and logical framework. When it feels truly authentic to me then I'll commit. (Or make adjustments to suit me and THEN commit)
If its not overly important (or I'm not overly interested)... I'm really good at procrastinating and getting lost in new ideas or projects.
I think its the process of constantly defining and re defining self and any absolute commitments feel too restrictive.
Also.... ADHD....
i relate completely, and weirdly I've become less and less capable of committing to things as I've got older. It's clear to me now that I don't like committing to things in case I don't feel like doing whatever it is when the time comes. When I was younger I found myself bring corralled into things, so now I just say no first, and go back if i decide to reconsider.
Yes, very much!
That’s because of perceiving, we like to keep our options open
So as an infp I basically have to resist every impulse that comes natural to me in order to be sane and happy? Torture
You see the contradiction there, right?
I have always thought that my undecidedness came from my mom's not ever letting me make decisions when I was a kid.
Just try your self every single they what you really want to do, talk to your self and challange your self for it. Although is for a small decision you have to try for make it by yourself. Not from others people.
Of course, you could being decisive person if you try it so much. Good luck. From entj 👩💻
Me tooooo! 😖
Sameee me toooo
Shahrazad Saied me too! I see a trend emerging haha
Me too. It was real. Still feels real.
How to Make Decisions as an INFP? We don't, we just wait until someone has to decide instead of us and then regret it ;)
yeah. and it back fires
One thing that may be helpful is realizing that some people may see my indecisiveness as not caring about them or the issue.
Truth! Especially people wanting to see that outer expression or validation.
My boyfriend and I used to struggle with this for the first couple of years into our relationship and it horrified me to realize he took it as not caring when I meant it as I care about you so much that I’d rather you pick because I want you to be happy. 😬 We get eachother a lot better now fortunately. He’s an ENTJ so he processes things so differently than me but I think we level eachother out great.
Then I feel guilty.
The struggle is real.. not making a decision is also a decision that usually means staying in the same spot weither your happy with that spot or not.
I like staying in the same spot.
When you start thinking about decisions you have to make and totally miss the advice on how to make them.
INFP's are the masters of perspective, but we are inept when it comes to executing things. In order to see the whole picture, what was taken away from us was the ability to either 1. decide or 2. follow through with things. Also it's kind of funny to watch an INFP try to hammer a nail into a wall.
This is generally how the thought pattern goes when I'm asked superficial questions like "do you want to go to restaurant X"... I go into this deep thought trying to feel out how my last experience was. I might think to myself. Was it crowded ? Was the server nice ? Was the food good? but before I can decide on how I actually felt about the last visit, I'm thinking about the group of people who were singing happy birthday, and how I had never had deep fried pickles up until then, and trying to remember how they taste or if I liked them, and the kid who kept throwing his straw and keep on going,........and usually end up saying something like "if you want to, I'm good with that."
Sometimes I 'create' an extraverted voice in my head to force myself to make decisions, especially for small things. I need that voice to assure me that 'it's just juice, if I don't like the flavour I can always get the other flavour next time.'
But with bigger life decisions it is tough, especially since I always consider how my actions will affect those close to me not just myself... the desire to make the right/perfect decision is a lot of pressure; making a choice becomes a real mental battle even when using my best logic & value- standard.
Can I just say I have a bit of a crush on you... You're just very good looking!
This comment. Hahaha Yes, you can have a crush on him. He's already married I guess so it's ok. Hahaha
kbg12ila me too. Just so cute!! And I am a guy..
I join the club lol
I have the biggest crush too!
😆👌😆yeah. He is truely handsome but married😆😆😅😆😂
ME TOOOOOO
Finally I understood why it’s so difficult for me to make decisions from simple ones such as where to eat to whether I should leave a relationship. I feels like I have to be authentic to myself and values for each decision and it is really so pressuring that I rather not decide on anything and let others decide or let things slide. Which is not good.
I'm an INFP and I always know what I want... I am also spontaneous. I decide whatever I want at the moment and let future Gisella worry about the consecuences. Usually there are none.
Good to know. I always fear the consequences and it stops me from following spontaneity/joy/impulse/heart/instinct. And use my head to generate logical answers (whilst trying to see into crystal ball). I wait til everyone had bought into my decision, which is really stressful. .. Only then can I be relieved.....
Often i feel short changed cos I compromised everyone else's happiness and factored mine out of the equation..!!! Xxx
@@CoralBalmoral I think I am actually an ENTP... I do worry about consequences, but I don't fear them. I get an idea, think of the worst that could happen if I do it, and if I believe I could manage I just go for it. I do nothing if I am not 100% prepared to fail. I usually am.
@@gisebasso good for you! I feel very uncomfortable about failing; and it wouldn't occur to me to think what would be the worst thing that could happen, even though it's sensible and I should try. I think as a feelie, that's quite a thinky way to consider it... Thinking of failing feels excruciating but, maybe I need to practice that approach. Xx
@@CoralBalmoral Wow that must be very hard. Sounds like a lot of preassure.
Same I’ve tried saying yes to things and it is usually OK
The weird thing is when I have to set up something
I never seen someone comment about that aspect of infp before, i'm glad you explained it cause is definitely one of my biggest struggles
Authenticity, forgiveness, kindness (love and intuitive connection), creativity (spontaneity, silliness, innovation) growth (deep communication) and harmony!
I love it when someone (who deeply cares about me, or I’m convinced loves me even if I lost an eye) gives me a critique of myself, even if its harsh it impacts me for life
Beautiful, I love that too. Thank you
Wow. That was so weird. I'm also an INFP and my immediate thoughts on my values as I was watching this were authenticity, kindness and creativity. You can imagine my surprise when I heard your list. Also, growth makes an excellent fourth :)
I'm really enjoying your videos btw, keep up the good work.
When you said values, the first on my list has always been authenticity and when I figured yours was too...I was happy to know that maybe it's an INFP thing!
great advice mate. Made me reflect on my own decision making processes. As an INFP i find it hard to make decision that will impact other peoples emotion. Some resonating words, thanks man.
How about sticking to a decision and not constantly flailing? Always feel like I make bad choices
This is really the infp manual for life.. I don’t know how to life and these types of videos are extremely extremely helpful!
Yea very helpful. I just lost 2000 dollars because of my indecisiveness. But I feel better that this related to my personality. I am going to work at it
I have this good feeling while watching your videos about INFP. It’s like I am watching that explains who I am. And what I should do. It feels great. I don’t know why. It’s like the video is saying it is fine to be me because I am just me. It is not wrong to be me.
Now I have answers on some questions in my mind and why I was thinking the way I am thinking especially when deciding anything or knowing someone.
Commitment is hard for us unless we have extreme passion, then it is the easiest thing in the world. But how often do you have that much passion? I met my husband in middle age, and I never had to decide that I wanted to marry him. It was so clear to me that I wanted to share my life with him. But before I met him, I struggled many times with commitment in relationships and just could not do it. I thought something was wrong with me. What was wrong was that I hadn't met the right man, but I assumed it had to be me, so I stayed in relationships that were not right for me. I have learned now that if I don't feel passionate about the outcome of the decision, then it is not the right decision. It just is how I am wired.. PS: stay away from thinkers for life partners. If you are an INFP, you need a feeler or you will spend your entire life thinking there is something wrong with yourself.
Thank you so much for this video. I really get all messed up when making some important decisions, even when I have to decide whether to hang out or not with somebody.
Thanks, I love the practical approach of your video think it can really help me getting better at this as an INFP, 😂💪🏼In fact, I just realised this morning I let someone else decide something for me because I was kind of still clueless and not in the mood and now Im more thinking about the Impact for her. Think its important to reflect truely and keep groing and your video helps mirroring that in a clear way. Hope this makes sense (English isnt my first language) Have a good day!
great way to explain things..!
me as an infp , hates being scolded, preach or when ppl misunderstand me
these three things affecting my own value and ego
Thank you for making this. Pressure from outside (society) on the incorrectness of introverted feeling makes these concepts harder to see. You describe them in a way that I can easily look at situations in my life and see why I did or didn't act in alignment with who I am.
I think I am experiencing some cognitive dissonance when it comes to my own values. I seem to behave as though comfort and security are my main values as I have been taught that way by my parents and mentors and to be honest feel safe in my life but honestly even though my life is safe and predictable and comfortable, I am in a workplace and relationship that do not value individuality and creativity and I find that I am kind of outside myself as my life passes me by. I have finally came to the conclusion that escaping would be worth the moderate struggle that might come with it. I still haven't gotten my foot out the door (as I had only discovered it recently..)
Yeah. I think it was similar for me in the sense that I was living a comfortable life, but being content wasn’t going to bring me the joy and success I wanted. Pushing myself to leave that content feeling was really an important step for me.
@@GeekPsychology
Mirror, is that you?!
This was excellent. Thank you! I'm an INFP needing to make some big decisions.
I always love watching this video since I have a history of taking too much time making decisions. I remember I was dating someone once and they got upset because I took forever looking at the menu. Tip for other INFPs who have dealt with this... please stand to the side so other people can order first. Remember, try to focus on their needs. They went to a "fast" food restaurant so it's fast and it is rude to just stand there wondering if you should get a cheeseburger or a big salad... if a big salad... oh, the various types and dressings... noooo. Yes, last part a joke.
I have watched so many of your videos in the last few days! They are so helpful!! It’s so encouraging to listen to another infp explain in their own words what our personality is all about. Hearing all of your own personal experiences is helpful too. Believe it or not, I am an infp who struggles with reading (bummer). I love to research and learn new things. Listening to someone speak is so much easier for me. Thank you!
I was given a 15 dollar voucher for uber eats and spent almost 2 hours deciding what I wanted 🤔. Its hard to take charge and be confident in your decision, even if its small. I got an eggplant dish that didn't mention in the description they put a whole corriander plant on there dishes.. But you learn from mistakes 😅
making desicions is hard everything must feel right and we see possibilities as well.
Now when it comes to chores like shopping values don't come in but in general I just do what feels right. My values are Christian based so my music must have lyrics that reflect that.
Hello there, I see you in ever INFP video! ^ ^
サイレント we INFP’s like to watch INFP videos. Right??😀
@@ReeThealien sameeeee
Charles Benson sometimes what makes sense, and what feels right are in conflict, this is when choosing gets tough
Great video bro.. Proud of being a INFP now. U r an inspiration to me.
Yeah, I'm in the middle of moving houses and have to choose how I want to decorate it. It takes weeks now hahaha :) Whoops!
thank you. I think not only INFPs but all people need this type clarifying talks from time to time. I appreciate your work. greetings from Siberia ;)
Thank you!
The decisions that appeal to my values are the easy ones for me (INFP) to make. They just seem obvious. It's the choices that don't have an apparent moral impact that I find more difficult to make. In this case, I try to (quickly) weight pros and cons for myself and others.
I am INFP and also Libra. I can't help myself but keep thinking about all the consequences of my decision. I tend to think from every side of the story. It's impossible to be fair every time 😅
you are right on. I always have trouble making decisions... 0_0
It's hard, right? Especially the dreaded "What do you want to eat tonight?" lol
Great presentation on learning to make decisions more effectively from experiencing life more and clarifying personal values. Excellent!
So true. This is totally me, INFP. Nice to know INFP is just like a program. I’ve had to learn how to make decisions even when I’d rather not.
Great video.
It can be hard.
I definitely think like you and the video was helpful basically just do it make mistakes and learn and you will get better.Awesome!
So true. So hard to see the long-term gain of the short-term pains :s
I definitely relate to this!! Thank you for articulating this!
this has been a struggle for as long as I can remember and i now finally have an explanation 😔 thank you so much
i've been into mbti for about half a year now and i'm still lost. different tests give me different results, but it's almost always bouncing between infj and infp. i can't quite say which one resonates more but this video was really relatable, even your hand movements haha :D the biggest reason i really relate to infj though is that i think that i have quite strong Fe, always considering others' reactions to my decisions and how they might feel if i do something. but then again i've wondered if that has to do with low self confidence in general, which is a problem regardless of type... i don't know. but decision making is certainly one area i need practice in. thanks for the video, it was really thought provoking.
edit: another source of confusion is that those tests that measure cognitive functions always say Ni is my strongest function... i don't even fully understand Ni haha
ParusCaeruleus _ I was first typed INFJ but now I know that I am INFP. There is a pretty simple rule: do you know how you feel and think a lot about it? -> If yes, you are likely an INFP
Peter Vanille Peter Vanille hmm interesting! i do think about how i feel a lot but half the time i don’t _know_ how i feel if that makes sense. although i think that could stem from some non-personality related problems i have. gotta continue growing and maybe one day things settle
Thank you for this video man! I feel like Ive been thinking about lot of these things for a while now, and you just summed it all up so cleanly.
I've read that you're a 9 type in Enneagram as well, aren't you? It makes me really happy to get the experience from an INFP 9, as I notice you've probably reaching your healthiest levels on the integration process - not an easy thing to do. I'm a 9w8 INFP and I have to confess I've struggled way a lot in harmonising with my surroundings, not that I'm starting getting better at it lol but I've noticed I might like to start asserting myself more and kicking off that decisiviness. I appreciate a lot not getting in conflict with anyone, though that 8 wing bad assertively applied does not help me that much. Funny thing is that being an INFP doesn't guarantee you know yourself til the point you have figured out what your values are, we feel them but quite not know them... All my life considering myself introspective somehow is kinda a joke to me now. Now that I get that technique to make an assesment, I should tell myself that is not gonna being as easy as it happens to me that i'm indecisive even to pick up which adjective or value describes me best lol
I also feel the same about not wanting to be a bitter angry person and not being too comfortable as regards what I interpret as push oneself out of comfort zone, but to be honest the latter i don't do that often.
By the way, what's your experience with you enneagram's wings, I would love to hear you talking about that in another video. Thanks for the content, very insightful as commonly :)
INFP 9w1 :D I've still got a long way to go, but thank you!
"Funny thing is that being an INFP doesn't guarantee you know yourself" YES! It really is funny how we can make decisions based on what "feels right" even when we don't actually develop the deep understanding of it.
I haven't explored wings too much tbh. I love Enneagram, but I keep going back to the cognitive functions. I'll think about it and see if any analogies pop up.
@@GeekPsychology Can you link me to a good free site where i can carry out this Ennegram test? I see it a lot but dont know what it is. I found a few links but they I have to pay or insert my damned email address and I dont like doing it.
INFP 9w1 here!! ✌🏼👋🏼
I think that it also has to do with all the things you have to deside the actually doesn't matter to you. If it doesn't light that spark that feeling l have nothing to go with. It doesn't matter to me.
True true.
Yay, love, authenticity, freedom, harmony, integrity, levelling up, creativity, exploring! ❤️🏆👍 all these " ".
Eliciting values then using them for decision making.
It's slow because it builds in our values and also requires others' buy-in for harmony. Which takes time to get from enough people.
Ausome freaking vid.
I learned so much and was able to quickly see how this technique of writing a list of values is so similar to how in Branding, (I’m a graphic designer) I would encourage a client to come up with a mission statement, something to filter all of a company’s public facing decisions through, and be a quick reference for employees and affiliates to quickly evaluate professional choices.
Somehow I wasn’t seeing the value in crafting my own mission statement.
Not that I’m not always evolving but so is any good brand.
Practical advice :) Thank you. On top of categorizing the priority list, I also think that we (infps) have to take time everyday refining the list and consolidating each item on the list, from reasons and motivations behind each core value to definitions (e.g. "Authenticity" from Existentialism) and pros (benefits) and cons (sacrifices) for each core value we want to hold, in order to make more confident decisions when we're applying the list.
And btw, do you have any recommendations of reading materials regarding gamification? I'm currently reading Actionable Gamification from Yu Kai Chou which I find applicable, but would love to gather sources from you :D
Thank you for the video.
Great ideas. I really like the goal of listing pros and cons to each. It could help you tweak things to give more towards or away motivation when your willpower alone isn't cutting it.
I don't, sorry. The only book I've read on it is Actionable Gamification :P
Do you use it habitica? I find it useful when I remember to decide to use it :p
Your videos are like the mirror of healthy, authentic me (in male version!) in my best, relaxed days..
Love you, my friend!! Great work!!
Its really weird becouse I have Fi Ne Ni Ti. (No Si and Te) I dont have any problems with making decisions. Im dominant and independent. But its really hard to Me to put thoughts and ideas into reality and stay in touch with others, becouse Im so invidualistic, idealistic and private . Even so I am very expressive and I have strong personal values. Its great to see people with strong sense of identity!! LOVE YOU ALL MY INFPS.. ;>
Are you actually an INFJ Enneagram 4 and are mixing Fe and Fi? Just a thought :P Gotta have some Sensing and some externally derived method of making decisions.
You know, I am sure that I dont have Fe and Im not INFJ, but I am 4 on Enneagram. :) MBTI are so label and dont fit sometimes. It is like: if have Fi, that person also must have Te. It actually dont look like that. There are many people who are mix of some types or dont fit anywhere. Maybe I developed 2 last functions that are usually not for INFP? So rebellious! :x It is much more deeper, like all psychology. Good luck to solve these mysteries!
Also thanks for answer. :)
Thank you for this video it helps a lot - I am ISFP
Yes! Thank you. I wanted to include ISFPs, but it would've messed up the video descriptions and some other minute details. I actually edited out some of that explanation and felt bad for it. :(
Watching this vid while procrastinating making many decisions - Your friendly INFP
I've enumerated it way before, yet ur suggestion is real help for prioritizing decisions. Thank u
You are so adorable... >,< Thanks for the advice, too!
I’m impulsive and it’s led me to a lot of bad decisions, especially financially. I need to be more decisive.
Thanks for the video! Will try to do what you suggested. Been having problems with decision making for all my life. It's hard to be an infp😁
Omg this is hitting home like crazy.
I hate decisions and I just took my personality test today so this really is deep i like it
Great video! Very helpful :)
Thank you :D
I really enjoy your voice and how you express yourself
Thanks for clarifying some of this. Good insight here.
Oh my gosh I didn’t realize the depth and length of my decision making. I’ve gotten faster at it but it’s so true that I just giggled. Dang
You do an excellent job of clearly explaining everything. So much so, that I found myself wondering, is there any other way to be, than INFP? :) :)
There are many other ways, but I wouldn't choose any of them ;)
im an infp and i have anxiety, its kinda like seeing all the possibilities, but only expanding on the worst ones, then getting more anxious about if the person will literally hate me if i make the wrong decision or if they had some underlying meaning in asking the question, to test me and see which answer i would pick and then make fun of me or tell everyone if i picked an answer that isnt the most acceptable answer in the group of people im sorrounded by... typing it out actually sounds insane and im working on getting help currently lol
I'm so grateful for this info :)
Sooooo.... this is why I hate multiple choice tests lol
Honestly sometimes I'm good at decisions and absolutely realize that I need to assert myself, but sometimes it's so hard to just choose ONE path. I want to explore, find myself in everything and make everyone happy along the way.
Lmao mistakes are the best way to learn, it's so true for us though. I think of life as The Witcher after you said XP haha such a good example of sometimes choosing the wrong thing. And sometimes you save the day.
Wow 🤩. What a great and informative video !!!!
It's easy for daily life decision making, bcs I don't like to waste time. But it's hard for life decision-making, like marriage and other life impact decisions and I just want the other person decide for me, it's easier, I'll accept just like that or with some suggestions. Thanks for explaining, really really helpful :)
Chedi from Good Place was crazy indecisive. One of his goals was to understand that his indecisiveness, however logical, would hurt people around him.
😂 thats it! Im about to get up off this super comfy chair and live, Right Now!
Weeeeeee. Keep us updated!
just a super short 🙄 23 hours later and i am actually in the vehicle and about to back out of the driveway.
Great! I hope wherever you’re going is full of adventure and feedback (good or bad, it’s all learning)!
Damn this is sooooo true
Thank you so much, this really helped! Cheers Lea
This was so helpful!
Me: *regrets not doing an assignment*
Also me:*still doesn’t turn in late assignment*
Don't think just do it
The opposite type of INFP would be the ESTJ, who seems to be very good (quick ) when it comes to making decisions. Using that idea, I think it might be logical that the INFP might struggle with it more? Looking at the letters too, the i is kinda slow (but deep), the N is very big picture thinking (but slower), the feeling function is more complicated than the thinking one, and the perceptive function is not that decisive either as the judging one is.
We're pretty much doomed to be indecisive :p
Only about things that we haven’t decided matter yet :P
@@GeekPsychology get out of my head!!!!! Jk...
In a sense, making use of your extroverted intuition with your introverted feeling? 🤔
That’s a good list
You use Ne and Si to make decisions INFPs. Your auxiliary function is Ne and your tertiary function is Si. Introverted feeling is your dominant function just like it is fot ISFPs. You mentioned in a video pertaining to ENFPs and ESFPs that they make their decisions based on their auxiliary and tertiary function so that would mean INFPs and all other types make their decisions based on their second and third cognitive functions.
Not quite
The perceiving functions (intuition and sensing) feed information to the judging functions (thinking and feeling). The judging functions are the “rational” functions that make the decisions.
For an INFP, the dominant function is a judging function. For an ENFP the auxiliary and tertiary are judging functions.
This is Probably why it takes me soooo long to do shopping
I'm in love with this guy....
Me 😂
@@meredithellen620 Do you know the name of the guy?.....I am also an INFP...
Ik this guy is a hunk😍😍
Can I ask a question? How an INFP decide things when they are under pressure or when they are depressed. And how long they will recover from their depression?
Sounds like 2 different issues: being under pressure and being depressed :o
How long does it take to learn to change your state: 5 minutes.
How long does it take before actually implementing it regularly: ???
It took me many years. Does not have to though.
I'll see if I can formulate some thoughts on it and make a video.
@@GeekPsychology appreciate your reply...if you could formulated into video I will be so delighted. ☺️
I flip coins if I can't decide something off the menu....
One INFP couldn't handle this advice 😁
Do INTPs have a difficult time taking decisions? I'm INTP and it's so hard for me to take decisions most of the time.
If you are faced with a decision that has n equally viable options, a good way to avoid postponing is tossing dice in your head. Whatever the result, stick with it.
Where have you been all this time man?
how does an infp decide which tool to choose to create a TH-cam channel like yours? there are too many ways and with limited finances
I made that one with TubeBuddy but I use Canva now. The free account is plenty.
I am not sure how to ask but why do infp seem to be noncommittal? Like could be foot in and foot out of door? I've known a few that will back up and
Is it testing or they just can't think on making decisions and sticking with
Do you know?
very good :)
+Ick3 p Thanks!
I'm the worst at deciding about anything... I especially truggle in realitionships.. I hurt so many people by trying to make the best decision with best outcome for all.. untill I was too tired of it and decided on the spot.. and now I'm regretting everytjing and hate myself. As much as I love some people I'm starting to close to myself so I won't hurt anyone.
Should probably see therapist not writing it here huh.. noone will read this... whatever.
I licke the drawing
lol thanks
Gosh, what "value" has to do with a decision which menu to take in a restaurant???
Value as in how much I value (like) it. On a very hard-to-understand scale… that’s also attached to my identity.
It’s rough!
Since I'm INFP/INTP I can't even decide which decision making process has a prefference xd