1. Have something better to do. Put your phone away and go do something else. 2. Scale up. Think about what you want from life. 3. Face your fears. Self soothe. Use the “What does that mean?” Think through your underlying fears.
You literally saved me from getting too needy with the people around me. Only to realized that my attachment style is activated cause of the death of my father which I haven't come to term with.
Thank you for creating this. Honestly I was doing consistently SO WELL until I started speaking to this dude that rejected me 6 years ago. He’s only now interested. I can’t stop checking my phone bc he takes literally 3-8 hours to respond. I’m now hyper aware of how quick I am to drop myself and focus on someone who may or may not want me. I’m trying my best to not reply for hours too. Dating games suck!
Hi my love thank you for your comment, all we can do at this stage is learn to self regulate any anxiety that comes up and look at why. It could be worth doing a little research into attachment styles and why we have certain patterns when it comes to this too xx
ugh this is so hard. As soon as i feel like a guy just treats me nicely or i feel safe with them, even after 2 times of hanging out, I want to latch onto them so bad. I’ve gotten to the point of not showing it to them outwardly (texting them multiple times, calling, questioning if they like me directly) but I internalize it. I’m just thinking in my head, oh god i said something wrong. What did i do? Did i weird them out? After this will I be alone? Will I lose this joy?
Honestly If you're involved with "dating, talking, engage with" anyone who makes you feel anxious about basic communication. Delete the person. People who are meant to be in your life are most likely to be reassuring. Anxiety is you feeling unsafe. Being with such person will always fail long-term, you're likely to end up insecure. And they most likely want you to be. Anxiety = Threatening. Trust your gut.
BAD ADVICE: We have to learn to overcome our anxiety - Our anxiety is feeding our EGO and at some point everyone needs to learn the lesson of NOT NEEDING EXTERNAL VALIDATION as we age or learning to self sooth our insecurities. The answer is not "only" to go around deleting people. Sure, some bad folks deserve to be deleted but the majority of folks we can't just delete like family, friends, coworkers, etc. People are mean to be in your life shouldn't "need" to feel responsible to reassure the anxious person. Someone who isn't anxious won't automatically know or think its their "duty" to make an anxious person feel better. It's the Anxious person that needs to make themselves FEEL BETTER. Therefore if the other party is still anxious against everyone living their own life and not being cruel towards anyone, then the anxious person needs to learn to find other stuff to do, walk away, learn to get outside their shell and make new friends, read a book, learn a skill, or stay busy. Also, learn that a lack of the person giving a discussion or reassurance IS your answer about how that person sees you in return. Then Anxious person makes note and property adjustments to move on or move that person down on the totem pole of priority. Normal people should NOT become anxious with "normal communication" - everyone has a job, we all communication normally with everyone and we should. Last, some people live in a level of anxiety where they "think" everyone or everything is a threat and that is BAD. AGain, all comes back to the Anxious person to get the help they need to self sooth and change, not just go around deleting everyone in their life that triggers THEM.
Find something to do, reconnect with yourself, listen to some music or what you enjoy to do. I have heard this so many, many times, and I am aware that you should distance from your phone and your thoughts about the reply. However, the problem is with controlling your emotions, and the ways or tools you can use to fix it. The question is not what to do but how to do it.
I’m so grateful I came across this video. 100% is me and this is so practical! It was nice to reflect on a few things I’ve been doing well, but also things I can apply to my life that’ll help me. Thank you!
1. Have something better to do. Put your phone away and go do something else.
2. Scale up. Think about what you want from life.
3. Face your fears. Self soothe. Use the “What does that mean?” Think through your underlying fears.
Thank you my love x
You literally saved me from getting too needy with the people around me.
Only to realized that my attachment style is activated cause of the death of my father which I haven't come to term with.
Thanks an incredible realisation for you my love, well done... xxx
Because of this video you have given me the strength and realization that I needed to find the strength to move on.
Thank you for creating this. Honestly I was doing consistently SO WELL until I started speaking to this dude that rejected me 6 years ago. He’s only now interested. I can’t stop checking my phone bc he takes literally 3-8 hours to respond. I’m now hyper aware of how quick I am to drop myself and focus on someone who may or may not want me. I’m trying my best to not reply for hours too. Dating games suck!
Hi my love thank you for your comment, all we can do at this stage is learn to self regulate any anxiety that comes up and look at why. It could be worth doing a little research into attachment styles and why we have certain patterns when it comes to this too xx
Actions vs words. Follow their actions.
ugh this is so hard. As soon as i feel like a guy just treats me nicely or i feel safe with them, even after 2 times of hanging out, I want to latch onto them so bad. I’ve gotten to the point of not showing it to them outwardly (texting them multiple times, calling, questioning if they like me directly) but I internalize it. I’m just thinking in my head, oh god i said something wrong. What did i do? Did i weird them out? After this will I be alone? Will I lose this joy?
It sounds like you subconsciously don’t feel worthy of being loved and feel like it’s too good to be true when you experience it
Honestly If you're involved with "dating, talking, engage with" anyone who makes you feel anxious about basic communication. Delete the person.
People who are meant to be in your life are most likely to be reassuring. Anxiety is you feeling unsafe. Being with such person will always fail long-term, you're likely to end up insecure. And they most likely want you to be. Anxiety = Threatening. Trust your gut.
That’s not always true especially for those of us that suffer from anxiety
BAD ADVICE: We have to learn to overcome our anxiety - Our anxiety is feeding our EGO and at some point everyone needs to learn the lesson of NOT NEEDING EXTERNAL VALIDATION as we age or learning to self sooth our insecurities.
The answer is not "only" to go around deleting people. Sure, some bad folks deserve to be deleted but the majority of folks we can't just delete like family, friends, coworkers, etc.
People are mean to be in your life shouldn't "need" to feel responsible to reassure the anxious person.
Someone who isn't anxious won't automatically know or think its their "duty" to make an anxious person feel better.
It's the Anxious person that needs to make themselves FEEL BETTER.
Therefore if the other party is still anxious against everyone living their own life and not being cruel towards anyone, then the anxious person needs to learn to find other stuff to do, walk away, learn to get outside their shell and make new friends, read a book, learn a skill, or stay busy.
Also, learn that a lack of the person giving a discussion or reassurance IS your answer about how that person sees you in return. Then Anxious person makes note and property adjustments to move on or move that person down on the totem pole of priority.
Normal people should NOT become anxious with "normal communication" - everyone has a job, we all communication normally with everyone and we should.
Last, some people live in a level of anxiety where they "think" everyone or everything is a threat and that is BAD.
AGain, all comes back to the Anxious person to get the help they need to self sooth and change, not just go around deleting everyone in their life that triggers THEM.
Find something to do, reconnect with yourself, listen to some music or what you enjoy to do. I have heard this so many, many times, and I am aware that you should distance from your phone and your thoughts about the reply. However, the problem is with controlling your emotions, and the ways or tools you can use to fix it. The question is not what to do but how to do it.
Gave up on that months months agooooooo
I’m so grateful I came across this video. 100% is me and this is so practical! It was nice to reflect on a few things I’ve been doing well, but also things I can apply to my life that’ll help me. Thank you!
You're so welcome!
Wow you’re so well spoken and everything you’re saying is making so much sense in my head. I appreciate hearing these words so much!! Thank you ❤️
thank you my love, that's so kind to say!
God bless you girl
Wow you give nice explanation beautiful ❤️🤗, thanks for saving me, you got a subscriber 🥰 and love your blondy hair 🥰
love this working tip. Very useful 🙂
Thank you my lovely
Thank you, it helped me so much.
my pleasure Jane!
Great advice...and I love your hair!
thank you my love that's very kind!
Your hair is soooo pretty 😍
thank you my love that's very kind!
Amazing advice
Thank you
what if he is with me in a 1.5 year old relationship and you check your phone because he priorities family too much over you?
You are gorgeous
What a lovely comment thank you so much!