✂️👋🏽 HOW TO CUT TIES, LET GO AND MOVE ON FROM A RELATIONSHIP, FAMILY MEMBER, FRIEND OR CO-WORKER!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
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#relationshipadvice #relationshipcoach #relationshipgoals #relationshipguru
TOOMEY & KOKO
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Aunty Funmi I love your rrr accent! Thank you for this beautiful advice. I needed this. Much love and God bless ❤🇨🇲💎😗. I love the jacket😍😍😍
What was that video insert of that interview with that man discussing standards? I would love to watch it. Can you let us know where to find it?
The jacket is too beautiful 🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@Tah96522 So would I.PLZ, aunty Fumi would you mind giving us the reference of the inserted podcast on standards?
@@Tah96522 Redefined Tv
My parents are toxic narcissists . I stopped all communication with them 8 years ago. I can't say i am thrilled not to have parents, but i have way more peace now. They will never change. It's time that we as a society normalize getting away from abusive relationships even if the perpetrators are the same people that we are supposed to find shelter with. Not all parents love unconditionally, not all parents love period. Abuse comes in many forms. You don't need to be killed or sexually violated to be abused. Ignorant people only accept the very worst form of abuse as abuse, but in reality many of us were abused in much higher numbers and more silently and under the radar. The worst part of family estrangement is societal ignorance and stigma of it and not the estrangement itself.
💯
Peace to you my sister
God will provide and blessings abundantly to you 💕💕
I did the same Sil Via. I cut all communication with my parents and I'm in a better place now
You’re speaking facts and I can relate.
Wow that is powerful 👏🏾👏🏾
As Fumi said in another video that helped me tremendously: Don’t delay your destiny, darling.
🙏🏿she needs this on a shirt ❤ you are so right.
As a husband thank you…My wife has been trying so hard to explain to me what you are describing…now I understand that she was not the problem,because she has done everything. She is like you, she is so calm,peaceful don’t raise her voice…I realize I am the lucky one…Thank you fo opening my eyes
This almost makes me want to cry because I hope that my husband can understand my decisions on this as well.
Hope you still doing well in your marriage.
Blessings
Once I stopped being a people-pleaser and learned to let some people go, or love them from a distance, my life has taken a turn for the better. You are so right Fumi. Let go and live.
😮,..............................how n🎉🎉🎉
This is exactly what I did with my children's father. 10 years and 2 daughters later, no confrontation, no emotion, just silently cut him out if my life without any reasons or asking him why he did the things he did. Of course he's still in my life because of our kids but no matter how much he tries to get back with me, that wall was being built all those years back while he was acting a fool and now it's impenetrable 🙌 I'm still still single, happily living my life and raising my girls and above everything, I have PEACE.
People are in your life for a reason and a season. Learn the lesson that they were sent to teach you and let them go.
Amazing truth. For a reason and a season ! Thank you!
It is very difficult to come to the realization of a toxic situation and leave it behind. It is even more difficult to stay and endure narcissistic abuse. It will kill your spirit, your soul and take a toll on your health. The choice is a no brainer. Fumi, thanks for being such a ray of light and wisdom to us!
Absolutely you know your in a toxic relationship a narcissistic relationship but somehow you are moulded to stay you are groomed by them even though you earn your own money are strong outside to other ppl yet not in the relationship you end up being a pleaser because you just can’t see your life without them. It’s been 4 long hard months after 32 yrs of abuse and mental torture no scars no wounds but on the inside I hope I can be strong enough to stay away because I need to heal
As an Abuse survivor, I approve this message ☺️
@@noorunzaman4586 you deserve another 32 years of bliss. What do you think? I think you do.❤️
@@noorunzaman4586 you are strong. One day at the time. It will be harder, you will even doubt yourself and your decision, but believe me, you did the right thing. Make sure you remind yourself that everyday! Love you
@@Rebecca57097ssss That's funny, you approve the message 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your words had me thinking ... have I ever been in a "toxic" relationship? I don't think so. Whenever I have been snubbed, spoken about badly (gossip does come back to you), I instantly distance myself, with no qualms. In one instance, my "abuser" still wanted to be my friend. I never blasted her, but held her at arm's length, distanced myself instead. In my "old age" (67), I cannot handle confrontation, and I stay far from negative people. Yes, "Never Apologise!"
On another note ... as I have told you before ...wearing NAVY BLUE makes one LOOK expensive. I find it a very classy, chic and ALWAYS trendy colour. One can certainly RULE THE WORLD wearing Navy Blue!!
I totally agree. I find that to be true with all deep tone colors but I’m very bias to blue coz it’s my favorite color.
I am a 80 year old African American woman living in California and I love your advice you give yo women in many areas especially in regard to relationships and having respect for yourself
Fumi, You spoke words of wisdom!!! "You don't have to confront anybody to cut ties with them" Part of my decluttering process included decluttering people, relatives and frienemies out of my life. It is very freeing. I am at piece. 💗❤💗
She make a very good point people will ruffle your feathers and try you like there's no tomorrow but the moment you do it to them it's a problem people are very double standard nowadays sometimes it's best just to be alone or have a small circle of people that you interact with 🤷🏾♂️
I have learn to mirror the way they act.
Then disappear. Few have try to return because they want something.I always say no,or I am busy with a project. working on loving me first,having a Peace of mind because I feel like i was riding a🎢 rollercoaster. I notice I was trying too hard to keep the peace. I was so tried of playing their silly games & mirror them.boy oh boy doesn't it feel so good to realize.I have so much peace. Because I disappear from them.🤗and have meet a older woman who been a target who like to be nice then stop
Being around some evil people.
I told her you are going to go crazy because
They know how to win you back with giftor being nice for a second,then poor gasoline on you St you on fire 🔥 rinse you off and repeat. she learning 🧑🦱.how ever I have graduated and passed the class finally yay
Lateness. Cannot stand it. Will not tolerate it. I gave up a very dear friendship because she was always late. 1.30 - 2 hours late. Honestly, who does that?! The soft life. No fight. No tantrum. Just a side slide and moving on.
Side slide 😆 😆 🤣 love it!
Awesome episode. This was a confirmation. I met someone a sometime back and from the onset I laid down my standards for I knew my value as a LADY. He at first accepted the standards. But he was bin dangerous that after a some months he started acting up. I reminded my rules. He insisted let’s get married and deal with what comes up. I thought he must be out of his mind. But when he realized I wasn’t going to lower the standards he started some subtle disrespect. I LOVE ME!! Ohh my goodness he didn’t know what hit him. I was gone. On the anniversary of the day we met he calls and start asking what are the plans. Plans for what I asked? I reminded him who I was and will be and shall be. I am the daughter of the Most High. God indeed protected me from heartache and lifelong misery.
Just leaving a very toxic relationship. It hurts me deep down, but this video was timely. Thanks for being here as a big aunty, Fumi❤
A few years ago I was dating a narcissistic manipulator who only brought pain and misery to my life. My finances declined right along with my health being as though I gained 100 lbs of stress weight in that toxic relationship. Now, it’s been 4 years, 150 lbs (lost) later and I’m living my best life 😌 I not only found the strength to leave, but I made it so that he could never come back😤 Fumi is so right about having standards. If I can do it, so can you💕
Proud of you 👍
Good for you 💕💕💕all the blessings your way
Sis, this is me as well. My hurt came from not letting my tongue lose. But I did distance myself from them. Family members included. I was the verbal punching bag as a child. I put my foot down once I became a mother. I do not need those people around me. Then I became the devil and crazy. However, I can sleep at night and those people do not determine my future. I let them feel my absence.
Crazy how they will resent you from not putting up with the abuse, wright?
Go girl! I was also the verbal punching bag but not anymore 💪
Same with my childhood. I cut my entire family off when I became mum.17 year's later my mother contacted me and the following family get together proved I did right. Sadly, I've had to cut off my adult children, after a decade of trying and getting nowhere . This also means I don't get to see my weaponised grandchildren. As sad as I am, I feel so much better mentally. It's kinda embarrassing and humiliating, what does it say about me!
I can totally relate. Sending positive vibes ur way.
I love it when Fumi laughs. It gives me life 🌻❤
Setting Healthy boundaries are extremely important to your life, purpose on earth and the people you’re meant to be connected to. Never be sorry nor compromise on your quality standards that’s the code to your core value 😊
Thank you Fumi ❤
Exactly
I wish I could like this video more than once. Recovering people please here. Realizing that you can't be liked by everyone no matter what you do and how much you spend to show that you care. It hurts at first, then it's so liberating! 💗💗💗💗💗
Thank you! I’ve only recently cut ties with those who don’t serve me. I’m working on being less dramatic about it. Once I can do this without having to declare it, then I’ll be at the next level.
Aunty Fumi, that jacket is FAAAAABULOUS! Wish you'd style in your IG/TH-cam stories. Just so we can see the entire look, but you look gorgeous.
And it's true, people who don't respect you, begin to take notice when you no longer take notice.
I agree with you a lot on the lateness.
Fumi you hit the nail on the head. A lot of the times it is family members who cause the most pain. We must love them from a distance. It hurts so bad and that’s the reason it’s hard to let go.
Fumski I love your face, your eyes, nose, teeth, smile, and your complexion but most of all I love you, your personality, your wisdom and knowledge, your charisma and classy nature. I just love everything about you.
Fumi, I live the soft life too. Don’t tolerate people being late. That’s disrespectful! Period. I am no longer people pleasing and I fn love it! I no longer confront about what they did….but that silence is golden! Tfs!
I can't get over the blazer😭😭😭😭
Agree with Sis Fumi.no explanations needed because they bring you back down . I simply don't engage and taper off. The elevation after doing this is magical
When you realize how it, it effects you! That hit home! I am so grateful to have found this channel! No longer walking on eggshells! ❤
"What you tolerate, you indirectly encourage."
This hit home for me, very loud and clear. Thank you, big sister, Fumi.
Wow that last clip of that girl holding onto that car was wild
FUMI IS BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT 💛
I am going through this now with family and friends. It has been very challenging to detach myself from what has been familiar. However, I know that eliminating toxic relationships from my life will bring out the best in me. Thank you Fumi. ❤️💯
Set boundaries. Protect your peace and energy! Very important.
What you tolerate is what you encourage👏
In that dark make up..u look like a black Barbie doll❤️...your teeth looks like pearls and ur eyes are bright and beautiful❤️ or wait may be I am obsessed with too deep dark people😂😂😂😂if YES THEN M NOT ALONE HENCE U R HAVING NEARLY HALF A MILLION ❤️FOLLOWERS
I experienced that with a family member, and when i decided enough was enough i was free. I felt in peace with myself and now ita really a limited relationship. I never felt that good
“do not apologize for having standards”….✅
Every 17th of April, I remind myself I matter and remind myself of my standards and ,yes I hate people who are late,avoid confrontation when I can give.Lovely video.
Thank you so much for this message auntie 😘
This year I was robbed of my piece by a coworker. I had to sit and reflect for many months. Today I can say I have moved past it! And, this will never happen again. I now know what it feels like to let negative people rob you of your peace, peace of mind and sense of self (temporarily).
You are teaching me so many lessons, FUMI.
I don't have the energy anymore for rage. I don't care about ignorance and gossip and backstabbing...
Silence is my friend.
I am losing Pandemic weight and feeling lighter and freer.
This is the NEW ME!
GOD IS MY FRIEND TOO!
Love these talks!! We get such a variety on this channel: fashion, beauty and life lessons
The worse toxic relationships I find is at work. When a supervisor/manager is the toxic one. You feel so stuck. You have to deal with that energy daily.
I am currently in a situation and I am job hunting.
These days however, jobs are hard to come by in my country.
Contemplating quitting but I can't. Mortgage and other responsibilities. I don't even want to go to work in the morning.
If you lost them but found you! Glory!
All I have to say about this video is THANK YOU . Quite relieving
I am really learning to love some people from afar…definitely have to let go of whatever doesn’t serve me
Yep absolutely
Fumi, you hit the hammer on the nail today. I did exactly that last year. Kept forgiving this girlfriend until I had surrender to the the Holy Spirit and release it.
Wow this resonated so much with me and inspired me to hold my head up. Looking gorgeous.
Aunty Fumi!!! You've blessed us with another video and we're here for it. Love your advice and thank you for this message. I'm so glad that a generation of women are growing up with guidance on how to grow into themselves and honour their own voices.
It was amazing to meet you at AFWL and having you wear one of my pieces is a major highlight!!
You showed up in my feed and this is the video I chose to watch. You're amazing, beautiful and a beautiful voice too! Right on with the standards!! Boundaries are so important and I've just learned that recently (just turned 50).
I want to like this video a million and one times because you are talking to me……oh dear! This story about finding a new job is my story right now. Thank you so much FDV. You are exceptional!!!!! I believe I’m going places. Now I have better STANDARDS
Me too. Thanks Fumi for the confirmation
I first tried to explain myself, later I discovered my former friend shared with her other friends what I expressed. Next I slowly drifted away from the negative energy. Two years later ff called, I love you, I miss you let’s meet… I was fasting. I listened to the signs and moved on! Best Life!
i've been contemplating cutting a family member off completely and this video popped up at just the right time. thank you auntie fumi 💜✨
Thank you so much, Fumi! I have been dealing with this over the last year. I am of an age where I just can’t let people stay in my life who only hurt & take.
Great topic Fumi, am just like you, I love my peace and quiet. I Love my life, I always distant myself from bullshit and let people go cos stress and negativity from other people can or will kill you. Stay blessed
"What you tolerate you indirect encourage!" by Fumi Desalu-Vold
You look stunning in blue Fumi - gorgeous. Thank you again for such an important video: had I known this during my early life things would have turned out differently. Bless you, lovely lady. x
Mrs. Fumi always gives good words of wisdom. I. Know from experience how difficult it can be to move on letting go. Thank you.
Hello Fumi...
I am watching every single video. But this video is changing me. You are being God's voice to my ears. Your words are everything I've been needing to hear. My heart was broken into a thousand pieces 4 months ago. I've decided to start with a 6 month detox from him to heal and find myself. It had been very hard. Some days I honestly don't know if I can make it. But Fumi...God has sent you to me. Thank you for your words and you grand personality.
You are a pure soul. Pure not perfect. Only God is perfect. I'm 57 yrs. Wish we could talk.
You saved me today Fumi. You saved my sanity. You let me know everything I'm doing to heal is correct.
God bless you and your family. Your hubby is awesome.
Thank you!
Carmen
God's blessings to you and your family.
Sometimes it feels so difficult n impossible to let go of someone you've been with for a long time and you get scared if you'll will be okay after you leave...I keep delaying n delaying to end it because I'm scared but I know at the back of my mind this is not where I'm supposed to be... it's not easy but I've thought n thought I don't care what happens I have to leave
Yep, totally understand where you're coming from, because I feel the same.
Mrs. Fumi,
As usual you hit the nail on the head. We teach people how to treat us and when we realize the detriment we have created it is so difficult to let that toxic relationship go. I have been so guilty of that behavior. I learned to let go.
I loved this video such a topic! What you tolerate you indirectly encourage and enable wow. Until you said I didn’t even realise this was linked to people pleasing and validation it clicked when you said it. Thank you once again Fumi 💕
Fumi, love this talk. Thank you. Words of wisdom.
You truly are empowering women with your wisdom Fumi, thank you. Another life changing episode ❤️❤️❤️
Excellent advice and words to live by. This one was timely!!! Divine timing indeed. May you stay blessed and fabulous always.
Ps. My girls and I watch ugly Betty and count the number of times you appear in the background. It’s so 😅😅😅😅😅😅.
Stunning jacket. You look beautiful in that colour. X
I’m waiting for my peace
My family members stole money blessings and happiness from me
it’s so hard ….
I have to start over and it’s very very slow but I’m believing in The Lord
And with myself
Having spa 🧖♀️ time
Workouts 🏋🏾♀️
Trails🍃🍁🌸
Time with my friends 💕
My path is definitely murky but I’m trusting in God ✨
I wish you the best and most fabulous life sister!
@@pretaporterp thank you my dear blessings to you 💕💕
I love you Fumi🥰 keep doing what you do. God bless you and your family.
Fumi…this was a sermon 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
It took me a year and a half to realize that this person didn’t respect me. When I brought it to them, they were indifferent about my feelings. That was the final straw for me. I didn’t blow up. I didn’t send a long text message cursing him out. Didn’t call mad. I blocked him. On everything. Deleted the pictures. Deleted the text thread. And while it’s been hard, I realized that there was no care there… I’m better off alone. I’ll be 35 next year and I think it’s time I start loving myself and not trying to please everyone
Good morning and blessings to you Fumi. I know this video is a year old.. however I needed to hear every word. Thank you for always touching the soul of your subscribers.
Yayyy! new material for my Fumi marathon ❤🎉. You’re gorgeous!
Perfect timing Mamie Fumi , I have cried while watching this video it's like you have seen my heavy heart, my step mother is exactly the person your talking about in this video I feel so powerless am in pain she makes me feel worthless stupid and dealing with her every single day it's exhausting don't even know what to do 😭
@@galejordan4570I'm late, but this comment is great!
Aunt Femi, as usual, I love you so much. THANK YOU FOR THIS.
Thank you Fumi…more sound advice and a helpful reminder not to compromise our standards ☺️
❤❤❤❤idk how I got on your page but I’m glad about it sis!
I so needed to hear this.. Whew😥😥😥
I love Fumi she is truthful, funny and inspirational.😅
Yes sis it's very difficult when u Goin though this with a family member after other members of the family did wrong to me I thought she understood I was truly wrong .
I agree mama Fumi.❤
Fumi you hit this right on the nail…Well done ✅
Thank you Fumi. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I watched this video twice and it honestly is what I needed to hear. Sometimes the most painful decision you have to make is the best decision you could ever make for yourself. God bless you.
Ps: How can I not subscribe to your channel! Xoxo
Dear Fumi,
Thank you so much for this video. I am going through this at the moment with my family, they have taken advantage of my kindness and generosity. I am finding it very hard to cut ties with my siblings but I have to do it as it’s affecting my mental health.
Cut them off a DO NOT LOOK BACK!!
Hi Fumi. I LOVE LOVE the encouraging words you gave the Fumi nation ❤️ ♥️. The words that you are saying are so powerful and realistic. I realize the older I got start evaluating who I am has a person to have a balanced relationship with life. It's very hard to do. In time when you have you will do something about it. Listen to the signs!!!💥
Wow ... the first cut is the deepest. 💜💙 Thank you so much ..
Fumi you are such a darling big sis.You are talking to me right now ,im going through such.Thank you for allowing God to use you to bring hope to people like me❤❤❤
Fumi thank you thank you, I use to feel the same way until I turn 50yrs old. That Blue Jacket is gorgeous on you that color brings your skin out.
That young lady holding on at the end!😂😂😂😂
Fumi The universe semt you into my life. I can genuinely say you have changed my life. I have been thinking of quitting my job for weeks and I have decided to do it. Thank you
We love, you are looking beautiful ❤
Sister Fumi, thank you so much for this… I’m in tears.
You’re right; God has a bigger, better plan for me.
Omg 😮that young lady holding on to the truck with her child Jesus well said fumi
Whew! This word came right on time! Thank you so much! I finally get it! God is good!
That was a word! I needed that today. Thank you Fumi! So glad I found your channel. I refer you to my fifty-plus tribe and my daughters for advice! Continued success and blessings!
Fumi thank you so much for this video. I am going to make sure that my daughters see this. I too am a people pleaser and I always want people to like me. I am now 56 years old and I have to learn that as I’m trying to please others I am making myself sick. This cannot continue and because of you my outlook and process of thinking will change moving forward. Thank you so much for the lesson, much love and many blessings.❤
Okay so it's really a SUNDAY MORNING SERVICE HERE!! Amen! Amen! Amen!
Loved the clip you incorporated into your video.
Thank you Fumi🙂 I sooo needed to hear this for myself. This is an area I have been challenged with for some time and I now feel a release 😭
You look stunning my dear 💕
This is right on time.I just had to make hard choice of permanently cutting of a man I love dearly.He recently walked back into my life after a year of being apart. The old hurt came back when his inconsistancy resumed all over again. It's hard, but it had to be done.
Such a wonderful message.
Hi Fumi, I love,love, love you. I know this is off subject but I was wondering if you could do a video of the ins and outs and the art of false eyelashes. I see so many women that just way over do them. For an example wearing lashes meant for The Met Gala to the beach. Your lashes always compliment you, your outfit and what you’ll be doing. I also need help, from start to finish, on applying them. What kind do you recommend for a first time applier? I bought some magnetic ones but I couldn’t get them on right.
It’s been 4 years since my husband passed and I’m ready to get back out there. I’m trying to do a home makeover on myself because of finances. I sure could use your help. I can’t begin to tell you how much your videos have meant to me. They have helped me gain the confidence,that I need, to go back out into the world and, hopefully, find someone to love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the top of Mt. Everest!
Fumi you are a blessing in my life. Thank you may GOD continue using you to be a blessing to others 🙏🙏❤️❤️