reminds me of the time that this girl, her name was Angelina, she sat alone all the time, kept her head down all the time, and just didn't say anything to anyone. she is a beautiful girl too, and has a wonderful personality. me being me, i have social anxiety, but you'd never know that because i'm always stepping outside of my comfort zone. i went up to her one day and started talking to her, and it made her so happy. i talked and walked with her to classes every day, and would always find something to talk to her about. other students would look at me like im crazy but i dont understand why, she's human just like the rest of us. her mom worked at the school too, and one day her mother walked up to me and said, "thank you for talking to her. you truly don't know how much it means to me and her. she got so happy, she came home telling me about you." and that warmed my soul. doing kind things like that just makes me feel extremely satisfied and fulfilled. it makes my day knowing i made someone else’s day a bit better.
I totally get you like my friends went to a different college (I'm British so equivalent is grade 12 I think) and I have no friends, and I've never had to make any since I was like 2 so now I've been learning how to socialise all over again and it makes you an independent person being lonely but it's so tough feeling like you have to work out what it is about you that means you don't make friends but maybe it's that thought itself which makes it difficult. Theres nothing actually wrong with you. honestly I'm so thankful to know im not the only one bc it can feel like that when all you can see for miles is friendship groups, it's almost like someone's put a highlighter on everyone who's chatting and laughing - but yeh I definetly found alot of refuge in books
Sending you big hugs.. I wish everyone in this comment section could just casually meet up.. instead of being alone in our little corner of the 🌎, GOD BLESS YOU 🙏💕
Nothing. It's always a group for you I can confidently say most of the other groups you're seeing are going to collapse like a house of cards soon. I had a group since 2018 and 3/8th of us don't talk no more. Remember it's not the group you need but that 1, 2 or 3 real ones you need. You'll get there
do you mean you're surrounded by people who are your friends but they exclude you? Or do you mean when you're surrounded by people and they're not your friends and also exclude you? Yes if number 2 😊
im a freshman, i talk to alot of people bc i like to make friends and its comforting yk. but i still eat lunch alone everyday, i almost never have people texting me or reaching out (with the acception of 1 or 2 ppl). it just hurts so much because i feel theres something wrong with me, when i know theres not. everytime i think i find my people, i end up sabotaging those relationships leaving me alone again. which i know sounds ridiculous to complain about when i know its my fault, but its also a trauma response to stuff that ive experienced in my childhood and in previous years in middle school and stuff. ive been struggling with generalized anxiety disorder for my whole life and severe depression for almost 4 years now and i cant put into words the amount of pain i feel every second of everyday. school is the most social part of my life, when i come home, im alone for 3-4 more hours and then my mom gets home. me and my mom are kinda close but she overwhelms me so much. i spend my days alone. i dont have pets or siblings. its just me for like 15 hours of the day. idrk what else to put in here, but it sucks really.
Tell me about it, I'm also a freshmen, I have no friends and have been bullied since elementry, of course it's not everyone that bullies me but it kinda feels like it, and even with people who are nice and good people I'm just nervous to talk to them.
Everytime we're doing a group or partner project in class, I'm always the last person to be chosen. I feel like crying everytime this happens because I just feel like everyone doesn't like me. I don't get what the hell is wrong with me.
I’m sorry you feel that everyone doesn’t like you this is not true, there is nothing wrong with you and I hope that you are feeling and doing better. ❤
I really hate it when people make it seem like making a new friend is easy and say “just walk to them” or “you’re too paranoid.” It’s even harder for me personally because my brother is very sociable and extroverted but when they look at me it feels shameful like they can’t phantom that I’m related to someone so different. It feels sort pressuring because I feel like I not living up to their expectations.
For me class 11th last year was the most exhausting lonely sad year for me i was so alone that i was sick sitting in class hearing people laugh and tell silly jokes i was so sad because i didnt have anyone to tell silly jokes and laugh i skipped most the classes that year because i was just sad sitting there I missed out on so many opportunities to makes friends with because i was scared i would be judged Either way this year for class 12th i decided to change no not my personality but i decided to become more active and you can say it did work well ofc i still have issues dealing with a larger group but im better than before i have friends and i have people i can laugh and tell silly jokes to
@@nogfrog so what i did was that I was more open like participating in small things making my self known a bit tried to find people with in the same Wave length as me Although I didn't stick myself into places I thought I wouldn't belong to Start genuinely random convos with ppl (That's how I met one of my sweetest friend she thought i was weird for asking what color she thought maths was lolol) But in the end I think everything depends on the environment
But tbh I myself is unable to take my own advice My school life is over lol now im in college and I moved places..countries to be exact and help I'm miserable than i ever was even yesterday I was thinking and crying about how much i miss my friends lol
@@clixhebut how the hell do you do that when everybody has their own group and you don’t want to interfere 😭😭😭 one day I say with this kid at lunch I kind of knew, then his whole group came and I felt completely left out and I vowed to never to that again. I want to meet knew people and I’m trying but it’s so hard for me
This is sooo!!! For the last two (in my senior year now) years of school, I've had no body, and it's so isolating. I'm starting to talk to more people now, but nothing will take away the feeling of watching everyone else experience high school while you've been left behind.
i havent had friends since middle school. im so socially awkward that even when i put myself out there i always just get made fun of or laughed at because i dont know how to talk. im such a fucking loser 😭
duude i haven't had a single friend since 7th grade no joke we're in the same boat 😭. i was physically isolated from people for a major portion of my childhood and that continued throughout 8th grade to my last year of highschool. i never even bothered to talk to people online out of fear during that time. i'm a senior with a low shot at entering college/more schooling so i'm completely cooked now LOL
@@solarenity no judgement here at all, i actually didn't end up attending a whole like 3 total years of school due to factors like neglect, financial problems, environmental circumstances, etc. definitely can relate to having rough teenage years, i hope things go smoothly for you and i'm sorry to hear about the influence depression had on your academics. it's no easy task balancing the two so don't put yourself down for it, checked out your channel and i think it's cool you do music and have a creative outlet!
@@StaySolidYoungin it's fr hard out here for us 😭 making friends as an adult is even harder too and everyone in senior year already has their own friend groups 🙁🙏
i just graduated highschool and had spent my entire highschool experience alone and lonely, i had friends for the first two years bc i had lived in that town since 6th grade. but when i moved junior year and then again in senior year, i completely just had no friends. you described that experience so greatly. im a freshmen in college now and still feel that loneliness
im in a similar situation, I switched schools after 9th grade due to falling out with my friend group (who I'd been with since 5th grade), bullying, and other trauma that I associated with that school. since transferring (to a tiny school, mind you. ~50 students in last years graduating class) and now being in my junior year, I have nobody I could call my friend. there was one girl who befriended me in my sophomore year, and she had given me her number. I text people, like, a lot, over the littlest things, and I feel that she found it annoying because she would reply hours later, and eventually stopped replying entirely. when my junior year started, she barely even acknowledged me. and now, I have absolutely nobody my age I can talk to outside of school. I feel like a background character with no personality, most people don't even know who I am, even though I make an effort to socialize.
i had no idea it was like this for so many☹️i had no friends all thru middle school, and i was told things would be better, people would be better in high school….
I told myself in 8th grade that Freshman year would be my fresh start but little did I know that I would have no friends, have social anxiety, and basically build up a reputation that I’m a quiet loner who never talks. I went through my first year of high school with no friends and now I have the worse social anxiety ever. Even though there’s 3 more years, I can’t really see a future where I’d make a friend when pretty much everyone in my grade has seen that I’m secluded and quiet. Update: sophomore year now and nothing has changed. There’s still plenty of months yet but I don’t really see any progress happening. It is what it is i guess.
I can relate to your story so much I told myself that 9th grade was gonna be a fresh start for me I was going to a new high school I was gonna make a lot of new friends and join clubs but instead I didn’t the opposite of all of that and now I’m wishing I could go to a different school because my plans at that school didn’t work out
Oh my god I relate to this so much. I’m going to the 11th grade and still haven’t made any friends since I started HS. I told myself in 8th grade that I was gonna be a totally different person when I start HS but instead my social anxiety got worse each year since it started with this year being the worst. I honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself if I don’t make friends next year. Like I genuinely feel like 11th grade will be my last “attempt” to make a friend because once I get to 12th grade, that’s it.
Honestly bro, if u can't find friends in ur class, just go to another class to find ppl that r more comfortable for you (speaking from experience here). There are a lot more ppl in school than just the guys in your class. You can either go to your cafeteria, meet some ppl, and start making friends from there. Or if you have like a school trip later, PLEASE TRY UR BEST TO MAKE FRIENDS THERE. Since u prob won't have to be with ur classmates all the time, you can try to find ppl outside of ur class there. Cuz that's how i got my friends in 11th grade, and i am very glad that i met them because i prob would off myself or not go to school anymore if it weren't for them. So yeah, that's my advice. And oh, don't even think about waiting 12th grade, cuz if u think u can still try finding friends in 12 grade while being shy. Just give up. It's basically impossible cuz you will be focused mostly on trying to get into the university u want to go to.
@Nonxistent_J YESSS UR RIGHT. 11th grade is very much ur last chance on making a good circle of friends. Try everything you can to get them, even if you fail trying, ik fate will come when you will finally get the group of friends u needed.
I mean it depends right for say if you are quite shy and introverted as my self it’s hard to socialise with people and at times you don’t look very approachable so that adds to it
im so glad i stumbled upon this video. its sort of oddly comforting that other people my age are experiencing this too. since freshman year, ive noticed that high school friendships have never worked for me. and since the beginning of 11th grade (my current grade) and some of 10th, ive also been eating lunch alone too. the stares and whispers are so unsettling and just increases my anxiety. rn ive kind of isolated myself from school and socializing entirely bc my closest friends started showing less interest in me/the friendship. (note: isolating is the worst form of coping!) anyways, enough of me rambling. you summed it up perfectly. therapists, parents, etc. do not understand how difficult it is to make friends ESPECIALLY at this age. (most) people our age all so reckless, toxic and rude and its so hard to find genuine, understanding people. and after what youve said i lowkey might start reading/watching perks of being a wallflower and bones and all 🙈
I feel like in this century as well as western culture has gotten more and more individualistic, the world isn't built to maintain friendships anymore, its not like we grow up in a small community were we get to really know these people who all have different ways of thinking and traits, now we get to pick and choose - and people are attracted to the bigger personalities which can be superficial sometimes 😅 it makes it hard to be a person who likes meaningful friendships
I also read the perks of being a wall flower freshman year after watching the movie in 7th, and coming back to it, to read or watch always gives me a sense of hope. I’m a sophomore and have never felt more alone specially in school. I wake up crying I’m so anxious to go. But knowing other people have been there and are there, is really helping.
Same I’m also a sophomore and I’m so alone in school and it sucks because I feel high school should be the best years but it just sucks I have a few friends but ppl don’t really text me or reach out I had friends freshman yr but they left me out and then eventually got rid of me
I'm a junior in college and the beginning of high school was really difficult for me bc I had a major falling out with my friends during the last couple months of middle school. High school is rough because it feels like you're constantly in competition to not be perceived as "weird" or "lonely". I remember feeling bad a lot of the time because I spent a lot of lunches by myself. I did eventually find a good group of friends, although it didn't really happen until my sophomore year. We're still friends now in college! I want to say to any current high schooler struggling it is definitely rough feeling like you're being judged all the time, and that's something that you'll hopefully experience WAY less after you graduate. At least in my experience, adults really don't care that much about things that seemed super important in high school like how many friends you have, what clothes you wear, etc. The older you get the more you let go of what others think as you become more confident in yourself. I'll take a small group of really good friends over a large group of sorta friends any day. My biggest advice for highschoolers is to stop trying to please people who might be negatively judging you. As stereotypical as it sounds, if you live as your authentic self eventually the right people will find you. Loneliness is hard, but things will get better!!
advice from a junior: most friend groups will always fail. I've been there in 6th grade but all you gotta do is really find that one person you vibe with and that outweighs any 7 person group chat. Dont change up who you are to impress others. And don't fall into the trap of substrances and if you find that group don't ever abandon them
i've been struggling since becoming a freshman and this video is really meaningful. it's good to know that i'm not the only one who has no friends and gets freaked out at lunch every day. it's especially good to know that it can pass. i keep failing to involve myself in conversation and i'm terrified that i will never have a place in anyone else's life. i have issues with executive dysfunction, so trying to balance a social life on top of the already too stressful routines that everyone else seems to come across naturally requires a lot more energy than i have. i kept having panic attacks at the beginning of school but now i've just been dissociating. anywho. good video :D
i think for me i really struggle finding people with the same interests as me. idk for me i personally love drawing ocs and underrated videogames, but like half the people i meet prefer talking about school drama. its really hard
it’s so weird because it really feels sometimes like ur the only one going through this pain of loneliness. it’s both comforting and sad knowing I’m not the only one going through this rn. ty for this video
I have friends, but I autistic and struggle forming close connections to people outside of school. You are absolutely right, even though I’m spending hours with people every day at school. It feels like I’m closed off at some points. Every time there’s a group project, I can feel anxiety rising up in my chest because in most classes I don’t really have anyone who would willingly choose me on their own. Within minutes, I’m sitting by myself in a classroom full of vibrant people and their friends. Didn’t get my notes or something and I’m scared to ask. I’m generally friendly and caring to towards people and if people need anything, I’ll generally either offer it to them or give it to them, but I’m afraid to ask for the same favor myself. I will talk to random people on the street and on the Internet and perform in front of crowds with thousands of people, but as soon as it comes to expressing my needs I go from a confident, tall black “woman”(I’m 17 so I wouldn’t consider myself an adult) to a timid little girl. It’s like I have selective social anxiety. I remember sweating and shaking and having my heart beat out of my chest just because I was trying to invite someone to a Christian youth group while I can talk about literally anything else with people in person.
My school is pretty small, and I'm the only one in my grade who doesn't have any friends. I'm moving to a bigger school next year, but I feel like I've wasted so many of my teenage years already. It's supposed to be the time when you go out to malls and restaurants with somebody other than your mum, when you spend hours at night texting your bff, when you find someone you can share your inner hopes and fears with...I feel like a failure, a loser, a repulsive aberration. I just can't talk to people (irl), I can't think of anything to say and even if I could, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, without sounding like an idiot.
the "going to restaurants and malls with somebody other than your mom" is relatable asf. Whenever I wanna go somewhere its always my mom that has to take me and be with me there, and it feels so embarassing being this teenage girl who only ever goes with her mom and has no friends to go with her like a normal person... I feel like Im a little child and so because of all this I prefer staying at home. Like I _can_ walk alone to places but Im scared I might be seen as off/weird and it might be dangerous... I wanna take evening strolls around the neighborhood with someone I can chat with but I cant have that... ughhh
As a introvert and also someone who isn’t quite confident in there looks high school can really be-little you especially not having a lot of friends it’s hard to include your self in partner work or conversations knowing everyone has there own friendship groups already
kie, you hit the point exactly, like I'm a freshman and I try to talk to people but I usually get shot down or ignored because I don't rlly know what to say. Even if you try, there's no guarantee you'll be meaningful to someone. Its sad but true. I have a gf, but we never see each other and we don't text that often and when we do, I always start it. I always feel very jealous whenever I see her laughing with her other friends or some of my friends, it makes me feel betrayed and worthless but I shouldn't feel that way. Your advice is good :) I wish you luckkk~
My heart aches for so many of you here! I remember the feeling. 🥺 I was chronically alone in both HS and even college. I made friends here and there, but it was hard to really find my tribe. Now I'm 30. Time flies. To those that are lonely and afraid. It's ok. Looking back at my youth, I spent way too much time caring about what others wanted and expected of me. I let fear, especially the fear of rejection control my life. I was so quick to abandon myself, my needs, and silence my own voice to "be liked" by people that were completely indifferent to my presence. Ouch. Pour into yourself. Discover you. Make mistakes, embarrass yourself, be awkward, achieve things, fail at more, LIVE. As you get older you will find your way and find peace, and even find solace in your solitude. You will find people who truly value and respect you and won't toss you aside for not being perfect. True genuine friends that feel as close as family. Hugs! ❤
Im 19 amd i dont have any friends :( i really want some, when i see other friends on youtube or irl, i feel sad and jealous cuz i wish i had it... also, im abused psychologically and emotionally for 3 years and it is still gping on now.. im wasting my youth 😢
I'm a freshman but I've been homeschooled for all of my life, I don't know what to do or where to go but hearing your perspective was really neat :) I think it kinda opened my eyes a little and I appreciate it, I really want to meet other people because I've been isolated for pretty much all my life. it's really cool to hear the perspective of someone who's a little older and has had similar experiences. thank you for sharing
For some reason I can just not talk at school. Like, I can talk at home and I’m still awkward but whenever I’m at school and I go every day without saying a word. And when people talk to me I make it awkward because I’m not used to having to talk at school. It used to be even worse but I try to actually say words now. I don’t know why I’m like this? This is why I haven’t had friends for many years. I can’t start talking now because I’ve already been not talking for a very long time and it would be weird if I did. I don’t know lol
I had no friends from middle school through college. It is tough, but it ensures there are no distractions from your education and by being suspicious of peoples motives will protect you from being used.
@@gamegamer9523 Its work, but with practice and knowledge about the topic being discussed it is easier. I forced myself to management and yes there are moments when things are harder, I am not saying things will be easy.
I had to restart my social life in high school because the few friends I made in middle school all went somewhere else and stopped keeping in touch. I had people to have small chat with but nobody to actually sit and hang out with outside of school. I managed to finally form a small group with a couple guys in 10th grade until the pandemic hit and for the most part we still texted, but once 12th grade arrived I had a horrible falling out with my close online friend which sunk me into a bad depression and made them not want to hang around me. I managed to befriend a guy in my pe class until he asked me out and I rejected, which made him angry, made me even more uncomfortable, and I was back to being alone. One guy from my previous trio sided with him, and the other stopped talking to people too after some drama from another friend group occurred that I didn’t know about until a girl told me during grad rehearsals. My mom was the only one who encouraged me to be social but she passed away 2 months after. Now I’m in my third(?) year of college, only one guy tried to talk to me so far but AGAIN it was because he just wanted to date me despite me barely knowing him and hasn’t talked to me since. I’m back to being alone and I get so jealous seeing friend groups, irl or online just being so close and doing activities together. I guess I’m just gonna live as a socially anxious hermit forever lol
literally i have never felt so seen before this video. in terms of being alone, i mean, but honestly i haven't related to much other things like i did with this. i also love the perks of being a wallflower liikeee bruuuuh it had the hugest choke hold over me a few months ago and i would say i was 'literally him'. at times being lonely is nice, but most of the time i just feel so isolated and like im missing out on everything while other people my age are doing everything im not and really living. and sometimes i feel like i make people uncomfortable because im so quiet and dont know how to start conversations and im just in my head like 'oh my gosh i hope he or she doesnt think im weird because i dont speak😭😭'. but yeah this was like a perfect explanation of what im going through and i understand conpletelyyy, and ps you mentioned so many movies or books i LOVE like bones and all, pobawf, and the virgin suicides. so so real
Bruh Im crying bcs i search this up and miss my past its like the loneliness epidemic but its just the reality i didn't do highschool 😔 cs what if i could have met my ideal friends or some amazing person.. i feel like im old and like i miss physical touch even tho im not like tht to feel like someone cares yk i feel sad for myself lol I have one friend but its like they need me just for advice or idk when they feel alone they avoidant like me..bcs ive been alone too much. And it sucks as you get older kinda.. Im on the episode i always were like this alone introverted ,chameleon personality i don't show much interest in people..book reading I had one bestie she broke me I think i need Jesus idk
Real I searched it up as well trying to get out of being lonely but it’s hard book reading occupying as many hobbies because I can’t talk to ppl fr just got kicked out of a gc because I was 2 quiet idk what’s wrong w me but it’s sucks
@faiyaz9768 might sound corny ,Just ground yourself feel it..cry and journal about it or talk to a higher power.. sometimes I don't want to go to jobs bcs I feel disconnected to everyone bunch of mid 40 and 50 elders some people dont respect you bcs it's work the real world isn't school... I am 21 and I freak out....but you know what being alone is self discovery and sometimes you are going to feel lonely and that's okay too let go of attachments, false expectations Don't force anything but I would say find at least one person to talk too or re connect with an old good friend and if it doesn't work you're going to be just fine and focus on ur studies like seriously. Ahhg I'm like deep in thoughts You got this keep going. You are love ❤️ and I care otherwise I wouldn't gaf & you are enough .
I just turned 15 and have no real friends. Just started my freshman year and the loneliness is starting to hit me real hard. When I was in middle school, I had buddies but now realize that it was just that. School buddies. No friend group. No outlet. No nothing. I play on sports teams and have had buddies again but am now realizing its not friendship. Popularity does not mean friendship. I have never been awkward and would go far enough to call myself an extrovert at times. But now I realize all this time I have just been a loser. If anyone out there is in the same boat as me don't hesitate to message me
Mannn what I’ve realized(and I hope this is able to help others too) is that even if you are sociable and open and extroverted, sometimes that’s not the answer. Like I’m sick of people saying “all you have to do is be more social and do this blah blah and you WILL make friends” and yes, that might be the case for some sure. But if ur anything like me, and you have put yourself out there and took risks and you think of yourself as a pretty decent person and you’re still trying to figure out why you have no friends…well I feel like the hard truth that people don’t say is that I feel like what it really comes down to is you choosing to be ur true authentic self. I realized a long time ago that most people are really fake ESPECIALLY in high school. Even down to the friendship dynamics it’s FAKE. It’s exhausting to deal with that or try to pretend because sometimes that’s just not who you are. And I will say that there are people in there who will like you just as you are but in your case they might be more few and far between. But that’s okay. Keep being yourself because that will attract what you want. high school is like the hunger games lol. people will do anything to survive. It’s so much easier making friends outside of it I promise you. Ps: I also want you to know that joining clubs that interest you could potentially get you closer to making friends too(: It’s worth a shot and if it doesn’t that’s fine too just remember to stay true to yourself because no friends are better than fake ones.
You hit the point exactly, like I'm a freshman and I try to talk to people but I usually get shot down or ignored because I don't rlly know what to say. Even if you try, there's no guarantee you'll be meaningful to someone. Its sad but true. I have a gf, but we never see each other and we don't text that often and when we do, I always start it. I always feel very jealous whenever I see her laughing with her other friends or some of my friends, it makes me feel betrayed and worthless but I shouldn't feel that way. Your advice is good :) I wish you luck
U seem like the type of person that I would definitely vibe with though:(. Sadly i can't find anyone out of the 60+ students that i take classes with that are like want to talk or message me after school or stuff like that. I find it so funny that sometime you find posts on social media where people tell their story on their experience of having no friends and i find them to be the most lovely and funny person i have ever met?? like how could u not have any friends:((?? How could I ever meet someone like you?
This is quite relatable, I feel like the part of me that knew how to bond with people kinda just died sometime between 8th grade and freshman year. In grade school I always had a group of friends that I could come back to but now it seems all I can do is small talk with people and I just don't know how to take my conversations further to the point of making a friend. Last year I bonded with someone over a game we both play but that friendship kinda just died out after a while because I was so bad at keeping the conversations going and we eventually just lost interest and forgot about each other. Now I've started sophomore year and it feels the exact same, I can do lots of small talk but I don't know how to take it any further than that. I feel invisible at school too, it's like most people don't even notice or consider me because I'm so quiet and I suck at socializing. In other words I'm the one kid who never gets a partner/group for a project until the teacher assigns me to one
Me too cause I started my freshman year last month and it’s like there’s no one who I see that could be my friend or that I really mess with fr, so that has just made it hard for me to focus on school when I just feel so lonely there.
@@gamegamer9523I would do that but the school I went to for my freshman year even tho it was a huge school had no clubs that related to my interest (comics and anime) and the school I’m going to now is very small and has clubs at all
That’s how I was. I had 2 friends by the end of secondary school. We would sit in art during lunch & break.. I don’t speak to anyone from school anymore & now I have no friends my age. I wish I could have been friends with more people but my year of classmates was a nightmare.
help because i have old friends but once the pandemic hit; we all stopped hanging out with each other. once i went back to school (inperson) last year, i TRIED talking to my old friends and rekindling a relationship but they all made excuses as to why we couldn’t hang out. come to find out that they were sitting in a little corner with their new friends. this whole situation kind of traumatized me due to my lack of social awareness + me being socially inept. it makes me so nervous just interacting with people because idk if they even really vibe with me or if they just hate me. not to mention my longing for a boyfriend; it’s so hard being a teenager nowadays. i’ve missed out on so much and it just breaks my heart tbh. (sorry for the rant)
i just started 9th grade like a month ago, and i have one friend from middle school with me but we don’t have any classes together. we eat lunch together but she doesn’t rlly talk to me, shes usually just on tiktok 😭 i havent made any friends yet and i legit feel like a ghost. seeing everyone else with their friend groups n stuff and your almost always alone sucks. i cant socialize either 😔 i have anxiety and dont understand social cues, so nothing rlly makes sense. all my friends from middle school (except for the one girl i mentioned earlier) are going to different high schools and it feels like we’re drifting away. idk man i just want friends 🧍
I'm homeschooled but always wanted to transfer because especially living in the country i feel to isolated, but at the same time im scared i'd just feel more lonely.
i’m a sophomore. i had friends, and one of them was my best friend since sixth grade. we were lucky because we had homeroom, lunch period, math tutoring, and spanish together. unfortunately, one of my friends was really self-absorbed and this became more apparent as time went on. she always made our conversations about her problems and interests. it got to the point where i felt that one of my parents could die or go missing and i would get the news in front of her and she would still make it about her. so at one point i got fed up. i told her i was tired of only hearing about her problems and she basically forced herself between me and my best friend, only to make everything about herself. it was incredibly freeing in the moment. my best friend chose her for some reason, and we moved on. now i have no friends. i sit at lunch all alone. i mostly just read like you did. for the first few days, it was freeing. now it’s just repetitive. my problem is that adults make it sound so easy. “go up and talk to someone!” what if you embarrass yourself? what if there are no one with your interests? your bit about the perks of being a wallflower resonated with me, because there’s a book just like that for me. the goldfinch by donna tartt. my favorite book and i will never shut up about it. the main character theo starts out the book by losing his mom, and when he returns to school, he meets up with his “friend,” tom. tom makes a tasteless joke about them getting in trouble that has connotations to theo’s mom’s death and ignores him. he doesn’t even acknowledge the elephant in the room. theo is rightfully enraged and cuts tom off. this part of the book really stuck out to me because it accurately displays that our “friends” might be people who we can tolerate and who can tolerate us. they might secretly have major problems and push us past our breaking point until we can’t continue the act anymore.
You are a very smart girl and even after what you’ve been through you’re still optimistic. Be proud that you’re using your time productively rather than turning to abusive substances. I promise your habits will pay off extremely well in the future.
I was really shy and quiet I was so scared to talk to people so I just kept to myself most of the time and because of that, everyone thought I was emo. So with that reputation it was really hard to make friends. It’s so awful
for me personally i knew exactly what i was getting into and this is what i expected, i also had no friends in middle school, im not necessary sad but yeah pretty lonely i literally watch people with their friends and listen to them talk to each other sometimes
I started self improvement in middle school for this exact reason. I figure it’s better to work on my social skills while I still can and have an air of security around me.
i feel so seen. like everything that you said is so true and what i’m currently experiencing. my anxiety gets so bad i can’t relax and it’ll last for hours. i get horrified at the thought of being in a class without people i know and it scares me so much. i hope that things get better since school has just started. 😭
I feel for this one lonely junior guy (I’m a sophomore) and talking to him in our 6th period makes me feel better knowing he isn’t alone for the entire day. He says 6th is his fav too, and we’re going on a walk tmmrw. He’s actually super chatty and nice! his problem with making friends stems from his quiet nature, speaking Spanish mainly (knows some English cuz that’s how we connected also English is the main language where I live), and just moving here from last yr from living in a whole other country. I feel he should put himself more because he’s a gem! Like I update him on my life regularly, we talk in paragraphs, and he genuinely is caring!
As a person who recently graduated and is now in college. My only regret was not getting to know more people. I wish I became friends with more people. I tried to be more open, but relationships and friendships are so superficial in todays world.
real i'm in my senior years and i still have no school friends 😭 low key feels like maybe there's something wrong with me but at the same time i guess i don't mind that much? i feel like it doesn't bother me as much because it doesn't necessarily mean things will always be that way
omg and the thing is people see you alone all the time and they just kinda assume that you want to be alone its even worse when you never know what to say when people actually do talk to you and its so awkward and you get this feeling like they'll never talk to you again because they think thats what you want but noo im just awkward )):
Your so real for this you described hs so perfectly I started going to a new school this year and it sucks I miss my friends 😭 I hope it gets better since I’m barely a freshman
I think that the worst part, for me, is that if you tried to get close to some people and the still ignore you, you start to doubt yourself. Like thinking that there is something wrong with being you and that just makes you feel even more lonely. Its like a spiral
Omg girl I'm in 11th grade rn, and whenever I don't have a friend in a class it is the most loneliest experience even though I know a lot of people and have been there for a few years. I appreciate you for coming out and telling us your experience with this. ☺️❤️ Especially because people are all around you enjoying themselves, but it's so hard to join them without feeling judged.
It's good to make friend in secondary/high school as you can develop social skills that way, but something I would say is that after high school, whether you go to university/college or start working, unless you decide to maintain regular contact with your high school friends, you will likely become very distanced from them over time, as you move onto other stages of life and other people (I know this from personal experience). Focus on school, but talk to people, and don't beat yourself up over anything. I hope you have a lovely day, and I wish you much success in whatever you decide to do!
We were a group of 7 but all of a sudden a new girl joined and made everyone hate me because i had “talked behind their back” .Now every time i have to talk in class or do anything they are laughing and giggling and I feel alone. Luckily I do have friends but one of them lives in another country (I moved) and I only see my other 2 friends in the breaks because they are in another class. I have to wait 2 more years to finish high school 🥲 Wish me luck
with all those students in the classroom i have no friends its also sad to watch..other all spreading smiles while you just sit there and do nothing..try to take a nap and spend the whole 8 hours i just can't anymore i wanna go in homeschooling but sadly in my freaking country school is more important than you and you can't take online classes
Humans have evolved loneliness, because in hunter gatherer societies, you couldn't survive very well without a community. It's measured that people have an average of about 2-4 main / most important friends, also due to statistics, there are some people that are part of several friend groups so they people end up with more friends closer. Reading is very much helpful to the brain, and just a fun thing to do. The internet automatically reduces your attention span because there are too many things you can access easily. Also seeing lots of opinions, but you only see their opinion on one thing, not knowing what you have in common, your brain doesn't relate to them, and divides opinion.
Senior right now-I have no close friends. I have no friend group. In freshman year,I left a troublesome friend group and have been solo ever since. Whenever i got down in sophomore and junior year,I always told myself things would get better during senior year. They just HAD to-that’s when all the big stuff happens. But here I am still with no friends. I missed my last homecoming,and will probably miss my grad bash and Prom too because it’s embarrassing to go alone. I’d rather have no memory then a bad one. I already tried going to events alone and I struggle t have a good time solo. I feel so terrible I’m missing on the « teenage dream » experience. I really want fond memories to look back on in highschool. Sometimes I cry,sometimes I can appreciate the trouble that having no social life gets me out of. Most times it’s hard. I want more to my life then my studies
interesting prospective, i've been surrounded by people while high school experience. ups and downs with a shit ton of people but i've always had someone there.
right now i'm in 3rd year in technical school, 2 more left to finish. going into first year i had some close friends from middle school, but as time went on we stopped talking. in my first year i made some friends and even became a part of a group that consisted of 4 people + me. our connection was literally based on being lgbtq etc etc, not a good thing to base friendships on. in my second year i became more miserable with them [note: before technical school i was a normal girl, my ex friends from middle school manipulated me into thinking that i was not attracted to anyone and thinking that i have no gender. so i was pretty miserable even before them.] hating myself and neglecting my family, my needs and my duties. on the summer break before third year i isolated myself a bit more from them and began spending more time with my family, notably with my cousins. we went on holidays together and my cousin even began taking me to martial art classes which i go to till today:) one day i wanted to talk with one person [i sat with him at a school desk all 2nd year] from my friend group about that my views have changed and are mostly opposing to what their whole group believes in. to my suprise he also agreed with me, but well, to this day he hangs out with them. and comes the start of third year - i notice he starts to distance himself from me, so i begin to slowly shift away from them as a whole. today i find myself in a somewhat comfortable position for me - 1. thanks to my cousin, i have found my closest family in the people who i train martial arts with, 2. i am in a better place mentally compared to my recent years when i hang out with these groups of friends, 3. i have taken better care of myself although all of this happened, i still hold respect for these people because at the end of the day, they are still human beings inside. i'm quite content with how things have played out, but having no one to talk to on the corridors in school or between lessons is really tiring mentally, especially since i sit alone. but well, a kindest thing a person can do for themselves is to let people go when they want to go:) i do miss some moments of our friendship, but not the feelings that accompany these memories. i really doubt that someone will read all of this, but to anyone who does - even if things are not looking good, have hope, appreciate every moment, before they turn into memories. ranting on a random youtube comment section at 9 pm combined with tomorrow having a math exam is really something i wouldn't have thought of
I feel like one of the biggest reasons why I struggle with putting myself out there to this day (I'm a senior) is because I was constantly warned about how people could twist my words and put words into my mouth so I have hard time talking to people and just being genuine and being myself. Obviously, I don't go out of my way to say rude or obnoxious things, but some people could be unhinged and make it seem like you're the bad guy. And then everything just blows up in your face, and you don't know what to do or how to fix it. And to make matters worse, if you don't have like a BEST friend, you don't have anyone to back you up when there is drama. I haven't gotten into any drama but I was constantly warned about it and that caused me to close myself off and over analyze people. And on top of that, some people can be just so judgmental which makes you feel like you need to tone down your personality and put on this fake persona. And you either end up creating a completely false identity or you become the "quiet kid." And every time you stand up for a presentation or the teacher calls your name, that one kid is gonna be like, "Omg, who's blank?" "I didn't know they were in this class." And honestly, what are you even gaining from that? You're not gonna know everyone in your class if you don't branch out and don't look around. So, keep that comment to yourself. So, honestly, just go out there and be yourself. Stop overthinking, it's really not that deep. Don't be rude or obnoxious, and be your genuine self. Uplift others and yourself and soon people will gravitate towards you. High school is only 4 years and it goes by fast even if it doesn't like it sometimes. And always remember, someone out there in your school is just as lonely as you are if not more. Go approach the people siting alone, don't be afraid to take up space.
I actually have no one to talk to like in 8th grade I had good friends that I liked and we were all very close but after 8th grade ended it was only the Freind who I liked the most and I was the closest with who even talks to me anymore since i went to a different school than then. In my freshman year last year I got really fat over the summer which I was overweight before but not big big but last year in 9th grade idk why but I just couldn’t bring myself to talking to anyone like I would think about being Freinds with people but I just couldn’t think of doing it because I don’t want to embarrass myself and end up looking weird and I also thought that since I was fat that nobody would want to talk to me after that I talked to nobody other than my teachers for the entire year at all and now I’m in a different school for sophomore grade year but it’s the same and I just think nobody would wanna talk to a socially awkward fat guy sometimes i have thoughts abt committing especially with how bad my freshman year is but my mom is already struggling and I could never think to put that much on her shoulders just because I got fed up I don’t even know what to do I just hate my life man
All my friends were class of 23, im class of 24 been eating lunch alone all year and yk a couple people you know here and there but mostly lonely asf. Going from being on wrestling and football team and having friends, to completely lonely my senior year really gave me a new perspective
I forgot what having friends is like. It’s been years. As someone who also doesn’t have friends, it’s a nightmare to be surrounded but people you don’t know much about or feel comfortable with. I’m hoping for my life to get better soon so I can be alone
im in ninth grade and im in a progressive diverse k-12 school that is super into inclusion and i almost never had any friends. in lower school i. would play tetherball alone,the covid hit and i got depression, didnt do any schoolwork, in 7th grade i had distant lunch friends for a year and a half, with depression in 7th grade and crying everyday during lunch instead of eating, then the friends left me in the dark, now im in ninth grade, in the fall i tried to eat with the sweat girls, in nov i started doing hw during lunch, in jan i started eating lunch in the side stairwell alone watching movies on my computer. i started fall behind on hw, in march i got my phone taken away permanently, but i still watch movies on my computer. late April i relapsed into cutting. being alone is harder than it looks, and no i cant just ‘join clubs’. 🙄 my sister has always had friends so i know the difference
Sending you big hugs.. I wish everyone in this comment section could just casually meet up.. instead of being alone in our little corner of the 🌎, GOD BLESS YOU 🙏💕
I moved to a new school and I have confidence, don't put my head down, and I just choose to be more quiet bc I tend to be reserved and not have much to say anyways at least around all the people there.
for me i moved to a new sch in another city in this school year,it's been over 3 months but i dont have a comfort fri ,just know ppl as classmates and i'm always eating lunch or going to toilet alone .No one is calling me out or willing me to their fri .AND they think i'm always alone cuz i like being alone like sitting with no one and just reading books, drawing or something else.I'M just a side charater..
ever since starting middle school, ive had no friends and high social anxiety. i would talk to people in my classes but i would never develop real friendships. i would literally talk to myself during lunch because of being so alone and having no one to talk to. people would begin make fun of me for talking to myself making more closed off from making friends and talking to people entirely. i’m now a freshman and have zero friends and absolutely no one to talk to. being alone sucks so much.
I was this popular kid who lnows everyone n shit but when i got to hs, i got into a fight w my friend group cuz they were being asses n i dont want them to be toxic w me n after that everything went down hill.... Im still popular w the seniors n juniors n other classes (im from sl n ur supposed to stick to the class from 1st year till 11th ) im stuck w my class all day everyday n i only see my fruends whenn theyre off duty (senior prefects) so i was alone mostly n i read books when everyone always talking n when my senior friends pass by i fake listen to my old friends so i dont seem like a loser n all
Hey I’m going through the same situation not even going to lie, I wanted to say that your personality literally dragged me into your video like your vibe is magnetic I’m sure you’ll make a shit ton of friends. Bro when I heard you say you were in Chicago I was like no way 🤨 I’m from Chicago too currently struggling to find some friends 😔
I just finished reading perks of being a wallflower as a 10th grader and oh my god, Charlie is so me too. Like I’ve never ever related to anything more in my life and I’m very happy to see it mentioned here
im a freshman in highschool, and im in a friend group(normally 10-12 people, but it varies bc my friends have other friends who are also my friends that appear from time to time, more specifically during lunch all 20+ of us sit together), but i generally struggle to make “best” friends because im shy, (with the exception of my freshman year, where i currently have an english class with two new girls that i saw during orientation and thought were cool, and uhm, now i have two new friends!) but i dont normally talk with people one on one unless im completely comfortable around them, (like this super cool queer boy whos new to my highschool (im gay too) that talks to me a lot during lunch, and we make eye contact across the room and snicker during our choir that we have together and so on.), but i do have other friends, i just wish i was close enough to someone to be able to call them my best friend… and it makes me slightly heartbroken to see all my friends so close to each other, but ive come to accept the fact that i may never have a best friend, but i believe that the 3+ people ive been “best” friends with since elementary are good enough, plus all the other people i call my friends (too much to count :’) ) despite the fact that i only have one or two classes with 2/3 of them. looking at all these peoples stories makes me realize im much more fortunate, and i wish other schools has the same system as mine, as ive known these people for so long, ive stuck with them mostly since kindergarten, and even 6th grade. i wish all those without besties, or even friends good luck, in this scary sort of social world.
I actually like being by myself I used to always have a friend group in high school (I’m a junior) and literally the best thing I’ve done is just being by myself because everyone is so fake nowadays like every friend group secretly hates each other and it’s like why would anyone wanna put themselves in those situations you know I just haven’t been able to talk to anyone now because for what just to get talked bad about I’ve just learned at the end of the day you got yourself
this reminds me of a girl in my class in middle school that always just reads on lunch time and I’ve never even seen her talk to anyone ever, me and my friends tried to befriend her but she had no interest at all.
I've been at the same school (my school is a middle and high school) since 8th grade, i'm in 11th now and still no friends. It's gotten so bad i've been sitting in the bathroom during lunch to avoid being seen sitting alone. I only have two close friends and they both live in a different state. I'm literally so lonely it's actually insane. I don't even want a big group of friends just one person is enough. The amount of times i've had to do group projects and partner work alone because other people refuse to work with me or the things i've missed out on because i'm too scared to get involved just makes me feel worse. I don't know what i'm doing wrong and at this point i'm starting to accept the fact i'm not gonna make friends and i'm probably gonna be alone in college as well.
Living the lonely life rn I tried making friends my freshmen year but honestly now I just can’t be asked making the effort. Probably gonna have a grand total of 1 or 2 friends by the time I graduate 💀
praying for you heres a psalm that got me through alot Psalm 23
1The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,[a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. i struggle with making friends sometimes too but whenever im sad and stuff im reminded that God is my friend and hes always there for me when i have no one to talk too i still have God and even when i do. please lean on him and pray . much love reply if you need anything.
its hard, and some people say how its so easy to create connections. I dont know, its just difficult knowing that most people really just stick to what they already have. (sticking to their own groups) No doubt, i try talking. But so far i havent made any connections but just mere acquaintances. Sometimes i cant help but get jealous over people who can make connections so quickly, i dont know how they do it. I went from being friends with the whole class in elementary to being an lonely sophomore. Its sad, and i wish being lonely wasnt an problem for me. Everyone deserves an friend, everyone deserves someone. For all of my lonely people, i hope you all find someone. Someone perfect for you, connections that can really stick to you for an lifetime.
I was in high school 10 years ago and was alone the whole time. That was horrible. When I try to remember any memories from that time, I usually can't remember any.
reminds me of the time that this girl, her name was Angelina, she sat alone all the time, kept her head down all the time, and just didn't say anything to anyone. she is a beautiful girl too, and has a wonderful personality. me being me, i have social anxiety, but you'd never know that because i'm always stepping outside of my comfort zone. i went up to her one day and started talking to her, and it made her so happy. i talked and walked with her to classes every day, and would always find something to talk to her about. other students would look at me like im crazy but i dont understand why, she's human just like the rest of us. her mom worked at the school too, and one day her mother walked up to me and said, "thank you for talking to her. you truly don't know how much it means to me and her. she got so happy, she came home telling me about you." and that warmed my soul. doing kind things like that just makes me feel extremely satisfied and fulfilled. it makes my day knowing i made someone else’s day a bit better.
lol my name is Angelina too! But obv i am not that girl- Since I sit with ONE of my friends(only one of my friends have the same lunch as me)
you're such a kind soul 🫂
@@Stareyiii Thats my name too!
i wish someone like you went to my school! it's so cliquey here, i hate it
@@_iamlilla cliquey is definitely the right word for my class 😭
i literally have no one and have pretty much always been alone and i dont get what i am doing wrong
I totally get you like my friends went to a different college (I'm British so equivalent is grade 12 I think) and I have no friends, and I've never had to make any since I was like 2 so now I've been learning how to socialise all over again and it makes you an independent person being lonely but it's so tough feeling like you have to work out what it is about you that means you don't make friends but maybe it's that thought itself which makes it difficult. Theres nothing actually wrong with you. honestly I'm so thankful to know im not the only one bc it can feel like that when all you can see for miles is friendship groups, it's almost like someone's put a highlighter on everyone who's chatting and laughing - but yeh I definetly found alot of refuge in books
just cried to my mom for hours on end about this exact same thing
@@pleureralafete i relate, hope you find some friends soon
Sending you big hugs.. I wish everyone in this comment section could just casually meet up.. instead of being alone in our little corner of the 🌎, GOD BLESS YOU 🙏💕
Nothing. It's always a group for you I can confidently say most of the other groups you're seeing are going to collapse like a house of cards soon. I had a group since 2018 and 3/8th of us don't talk no more. Remember it's not the group you need but that 1, 2 or 3 real ones you need. You'll get there
Being alone surrounded by people feels leagues worse than just being alone by yourself
Right!!! That’s precisely it!!
Exactly
For me, it's being in a different school for your final year of high school.
proud selfish
do you mean you're surrounded by people who are your friends but they exclude you? Or do you mean when you're surrounded by people and they're not your friends and also exclude you? Yes if number 2 😊
im a freshman, i talk to alot of people bc i like to make friends and its comforting yk. but i still eat lunch alone everyday, i almost never have people texting me or reaching out (with the acception of 1 or 2 ppl). it just hurts so much because i feel theres something wrong with me, when i know theres not. everytime i think i find my people, i end up sabotaging those relationships leaving me alone again. which i know sounds ridiculous to complain about when i know its my fault, but its also a trauma response to stuff that ive experienced in my childhood and in previous years in middle school and stuff. ive been struggling with generalized anxiety disorder for my whole life and severe depression for almost 4 years now and i cant put into words the amount of pain i feel every second of everyday. school is the most social part of my life, when i come home, im alone for 3-4 more hours and then my mom gets home. me and my mom are kinda close but she overwhelms me so much. i spend my days alone. i dont have pets or siblings. its just me for like 15 hours of the day. idrk what else to put in here, but it sucks really.
YOU AND ME ARE THE SAME EXCEPT IM A JUNIOR…i have no siblings either
You’ll be ok just keep going bro
@@THAYOUNGDON thanks bookie
i felt that lately yet still i have a few good friends yet i just not had them that close to me but yeah i get that.
Tell me about it, I'm also a freshmen, I have no friends and have been bullied since elementry, of course it's not everyone that bullies me but it kinda feels like it, and even with people who are nice and good people I'm just nervous to talk to them.
As an introvert, making friends is the hardest fr.. not like I’m really shy but I’m just anxious of how awkward it’ll be: just not confident like that
honestly the only people i can befriend are extroverts because they start the conversations 😭
Fr, and finding a friend that is a introvert AS an introvert is so rare ong.. but ig its cuz their usually hidden, hopefully we both find someone tho
Oh my god same. I always step outside my comfort zone but then I regret cause it’s so awkward I hate it 😫
Especially BFFs. Brothers-from-another-mother.
Basically someone who is you can call family. Someone who will do for you what you would do for them.
it pains me as much as i try so hard to make and find friends i can't, i even stepped out of my comfort zone and talked to them first, it really sucks
same..
SAME 😭
@@Birbbb its gotten a bit better, I made some friends in my classes, and one even really matches me! u rlly have to just put urself out there❤
@@webzq cool
@@webzq i have.. people just dont like me LMFAO
Everytime we're doing a group or partner project in class, I'm always the last person to be chosen. I feel like crying everytime this happens because I just feel like everyone doesn't like me. I don't get what the hell is wrong with me.
I’m sorry you feel that everyone doesn’t like you this is not true, there is nothing wrong with you and I hope that you are feeling and doing better. ❤
Same....
or in pe
I really hate it when people make it seem like making a new friend is easy and say “just walk to them” or “you’re too paranoid.” It’s even harder for me personally because my brother is very sociable and extroverted but when they look at me it feels shameful like they can’t phantom that I’m related to someone so different. It feels sort pressuring because I feel like I not living up to their expectations.
exactlyyyy, plus im not conveniently attractive or charismatic; this often makes me look weird or seem like i’m ‘trying too hard’ and i hate that.
@@chipotlesnumber1stanwhenever I try starting a conversation, it just ends up getting really awkward and stuff.. it just makes me feel worse 😭
For me class 11th last year was the most exhausting lonely sad year for me i was so alone that i was sick sitting in class hearing people laugh and tell silly jokes i was so sad because i didnt have anyone to tell silly jokes and laugh i skipped most the classes that year because i was just sad sitting there
I missed out on so many opportunities to makes friends with because i was scared i would be judged
Either way this year for class 12th i decided to change no not my personality but i decided to become more active and you can say it did work well ofc i still have issues dealing with a larger group but im better than before i have friends and i have people i can laugh and tell silly jokes to
hey can you tell me what you did specifically? im also a senior but im stuck sitting alone most of the time :(( pls help me out!!
@@nogfrog so what i did was that I was more open like participating in small things making my self known a bit tried to find people with in the same Wave length as me
Although I didn't stick myself into places I thought I wouldn't belong to
Start genuinely random convos with ppl
(That's how I met one of my sweetest friend she thought i was weird for asking what color she thought maths was lolol)
But in the end I think everything depends on the environment
But tbh I myself is unable to take my own advice
My school life is over lol now im in college and I moved places..countries to be exact and help I'm miserable than i ever was even yesterday I was thinking and crying about how much i miss my friends lol
@@clixhebut how the hell do you do that when everybody has their own group and you don’t want to interfere 😭😭😭 one day I say with this kid at lunch I kind of knew, then his whole group came and I felt completely left out and I vowed to never to that again. I want to meet knew people and I’m trying but it’s so hard for me
This is sooo!!! For the last two (in my senior year now) years of school, I've had no body, and it's so isolating. I'm starting to talk to more people now, but nothing will take away the feeling of watching everyone else experience high school while you've been left behind.
you’re so realll for this (love ur pfp btw)
@@kietalksalot ty!!! I'll probably read the perks of being a wallflower because of this...!
too real
Going through that now i just resent them so much
@@Hirtly resent is so real, I've literally become such a jealous person 😭
i havent had friends since middle school. im so socially awkward that even when i put myself out there i always just get made fun of or laughed at because i dont know how to talk. im such a fucking loser 😭
duude i haven't had a single friend since 7th grade no joke we're in the same boat 😭. i was physically isolated from people for a major portion of my childhood and that continued throughout 8th grade to my last year of highschool. i never even bothered to talk to people online out of fear during that time. i'm a senior with a low shot at entering college/more schooling so i'm completely cooked now LOL
@@chrisbaple same here man, i even ended ip getting held back a year due to depression. my teenage years are awful
@@solarenity no judgement here at all, i actually didn't end up attending a whole like 3 total years of school due to factors like neglect, financial problems, environmental circumstances, etc. definitely can relate to having rough teenage years, i hope things go smoothly for you and i'm sorry to hear about the influence depression had on your academics. it's no easy task balancing the two so don't put yourself down for it, checked out your channel and i think it's cool you do music and have a creative outlet!
I relate with both of y'all, been dealing with this since 6th grade up until my senior year which I am actually now 😭
@@StaySolidYoungin it's fr hard out here for us 😭 making friends as an adult is even harder too and everyone in senior year already has their own friend groups 🙁🙏
i just graduated highschool and had spent my entire highschool experience alone and lonely, i had friends for the first two years bc i had lived in that town since 6th grade. but when i moved junior year and then again in senior year, i completely just had no friends. you described that experience so greatly. im a freshmen in college now and still feel that loneliness
im in a similar situation, I switched schools after 9th grade due to falling out with my friend group (who I'd been with since 5th grade), bullying, and other trauma that I associated with that school. since transferring (to a tiny school, mind you. ~50 students in last years graduating class) and now being in my junior year, I have nobody I could call my friend. there was one girl who befriended me in my sophomore year, and she had given me her number. I text people, like, a lot, over the littlest things, and I feel that she found it annoying because she would reply hours later, and eventually stopped replying entirely. when my junior year started, she barely even acknowledged me. and now, I have absolutely nobody my age I can talk to outside of school. I feel like a background character with no personality, most people don't even know who I am, even though I make an effort to socialize.
@@wowiezzowiebowieget to a boxing it will solve all ur problems
I'm seeing more and more girls talking about this problem. It's really horrible ☹️
i had no idea it was like this for so many☹️i had no friends all thru middle school, and i was told things would be better, people would be better in high school….
I told myself in 8th grade that Freshman year would be my fresh start but little did I know that I would have no friends, have social anxiety, and basically build up a reputation that I’m a quiet loner who never talks. I went through my first year of high school with no friends and now I have the worse social anxiety ever. Even though there’s 3 more years, I can’t really see a future where I’d make a friend when pretty much everyone in my grade has seen that I’m secluded and quiet.
Update: sophomore year now and nothing has changed. There’s still plenty of months yet but I don’t really see any progress happening. It is what it is i guess.
I can relate to your story so much I told myself that 9th grade was gonna be a fresh start for me I was going to a new high school I was gonna make a lot of new friends and join clubs but instead I didn’t the opposite of all of that and now I’m wishing I could go to a different school because my plans at that school didn’t work out
Oh my god I relate to this so much. I’m going to the 11th grade and still haven’t made any friends since I started HS. I told myself in 8th grade that I was gonna be a totally different person when I start HS but instead my social anxiety got worse each year since it started with this year being the worst. I honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself if I don’t make friends next year. Like I genuinely feel like 11th grade will be my last “attempt” to make a friend because once I get to 12th grade, that’s it.
Honestly bro, if u can't find friends in ur class, just go to another class to find ppl that r more comfortable for you (speaking from experience here). There are a lot more ppl in school than just the guys in your class. You can either go to your cafeteria, meet some ppl, and start making friends from there. Or if you have like a school trip later, PLEASE TRY UR BEST TO MAKE FRIENDS THERE. Since u prob won't have to be with ur classmates all the time, you can try to find ppl outside of ur class there. Cuz that's how i got my friends in 11th grade, and i am very glad that i met them because i prob would off myself or not go to school anymore if it weren't for them.
So yeah, that's my advice. And oh, don't even think about waiting 12th grade, cuz if u think u can still try finding friends in 12 grade while being shy. Just give up. It's basically impossible cuz you will be focused mostly on trying to get into the university u want to go to.
@Nonxistent_J YESSS UR RIGHT. 11th grade is very much ur last chance on making a good circle of friends. Try everything you can to get them, even if you fail trying, ik fate will come when you will finally get the group of friends u needed.
@@THATGUYJXSH join clubs it makes everything easiers
Every year my social anxiety gets worse. In fact, I probably only say 15-30 words a school day.
I say 0 words a day, 7 if im feeling confident
3rd week of school I e probably only said about 20 words to actual classmates so far
Y’all trippin
same..and i am lonely as hell
same
I mean it depends right for say if you are quite shy and introverted as my self it’s hard to socialise with people and at times you don’t look very approachable so that adds to it
True
im so glad i stumbled upon this video. its sort of oddly comforting that other people my age are experiencing this too. since freshman year, ive noticed that high school friendships have never worked for me. and since the beginning of 11th grade (my current grade) and some of 10th, ive also been eating lunch alone too. the stares and whispers are so unsettling and just increases my anxiety.
rn ive kind of isolated myself from school and socializing entirely bc my closest friends started showing less interest in me/the friendship. (note: isolating is the worst form of coping!)
anyways, enough of me rambling. you summed it up perfectly. therapists, parents, etc. do not understand how difficult it is to make friends ESPECIALLY at this age. (most) people our age all so reckless, toxic and rude and its so hard to find genuine, understanding people.
and after what youve said i lowkey might start reading/watching perks of being a wallflower and bones and all 🙈
I feel like in this century as well as western culture has gotten more and more individualistic, the world isn't built to maintain friendships anymore, its not like we grow up in a small community were we get to really know these people who all have different ways of thinking and traits, now we get to pick and choose - and people are attracted to the bigger personalities which can be superficial sometimes 😅 it makes it hard to be a person who likes meaningful friendships
I also read the perks of being a wall flower freshman year after watching the movie in 7th, and coming back to it, to read or watch always gives me a sense of hope. I’m a sophomore and have never felt more alone specially in school. I wake up crying I’m so anxious to go. But knowing other people have been there and are there, is really helping.
Same I’m also a sophomore and I’m so alone in school and it sucks because I feel high school should be the best years but it just sucks I have a few friends but ppl don’t really text me or reach out I had friends freshman yr but they left me out and then eventually got rid of me
I'm a junior in college and the beginning of high school was really difficult for me bc I had a major falling out with my friends during the last couple months of middle school. High school is rough because it feels like you're constantly in competition to not be perceived as "weird" or "lonely". I remember feeling bad a lot of the time because I spent a lot of lunches by myself. I did eventually find a good group of friends, although it didn't really happen until my sophomore year. We're still friends now in college!
I want to say to any current high schooler struggling it is definitely rough feeling like you're being judged all the time, and that's something that you'll hopefully experience WAY less after you graduate. At least in my experience, adults really don't care that much about things that seemed super important in high school like how many friends you have, what clothes you wear, etc. The older you get the more you let go of what others think as you become more confident in yourself. I'll take a small group of really good friends over a large group of sorta friends any day. My biggest advice for highschoolers is to stop trying to please people who might be negatively judging you. As stereotypical as it sounds, if you live as your authentic self eventually the right people will find you. Loneliness is hard, but things will get better!!
advice from a junior: most friend groups will always fail. I've been there in 6th grade but all you gotta do is really find that one person you vibe with and that outweighs any 7 person group chat. Dont change up who you are to impress others. And don't fall into the trap of substrances and if you find that group don't ever abandon them
i've been struggling since becoming a freshman and this video is really meaningful. it's good to know that i'm not the only one who has no friends and gets freaked out at lunch every day. it's especially good to know that it can pass. i keep failing to involve myself in conversation and i'm terrified that i will never have a place in anyone else's life. i have issues with executive dysfunction, so trying to balance a social life on top of the already too stressful routines that everyone else seems to come across naturally requires a lot more energy than i have. i kept having panic attacks at the beginning of school but now i've just been dissociating. anywho. good video :D
i think for me i really struggle finding people with the same interests as me. idk for me i personally love drawing ocs and underrated videogames, but like half the people i meet prefer talking about school drama. its really hard
YESSS!! Exactly why I love the book is bc the format it’s written in. He is me, I am him, we are wallflowers :)
it’s so weird because it really feels sometimes like ur the only one going through this pain of loneliness. it’s both comforting and sad knowing I’m not the only one going through this rn. ty for this video
I have friends, but I autistic and struggle forming close connections to people outside of school. You are absolutely right, even though I’m spending hours with people every day at school. It feels like I’m closed off at some points. Every time there’s a group project, I can feel anxiety rising up in my chest because in most classes I don’t really have anyone who would willingly choose me on their own. Within minutes, I’m sitting by myself in a classroom full of vibrant people and their friends. Didn’t get my notes or something and I’m scared to ask. I’m generally friendly and caring to towards people and if people need anything, I’ll generally either offer it to them or give it to them, but I’m afraid to ask for the same favor myself. I will talk to random people on the street and on the Internet and perform in front of crowds with thousands of people, but as soon as it comes to expressing my needs I go from a confident, tall black “woman”(I’m 17 so I wouldn’t consider myself an adult) to a timid little girl. It’s like I have selective social anxiety. I remember sweating and shaking and having my heart beat out of my chest just because I was trying to invite someone to a Christian youth group while I can talk about literally anything else with people in person.
My school is pretty small, and I'm the only one in my grade who doesn't have any friends. I'm moving to a bigger school next year, but I feel like I've wasted so many of my teenage years already. It's supposed to be the time when you go out to malls and restaurants with somebody other than your mum, when you spend hours at night texting your bff, when you find someone you can share your inner hopes and fears with...I feel like a failure, a loser, a repulsive aberration. I just can't talk to people (irl), I can't think of anything to say and even if I could, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, without sounding like an idiot.
the "going to restaurants and malls with somebody other than your mom" is relatable asf. Whenever I wanna go somewhere its always my mom that has to take me and be with me there, and it feels so embarassing being this teenage girl who only ever goes with her mom and has no friends to go with her like a normal person... I feel like Im a little child and so because of all this I prefer staying at home. Like I _can_ walk alone to places but Im scared I might be seen as off/weird and it might be dangerous... I wanna take evening strolls around the neighborhood with someone I can chat with but I cant have that... ughhh
As a introvert and also someone who isn’t quite confident in there looks high school can really be-little you especially not having a lot of friends it’s hard to include your self in partner work or conversations knowing everyone has there own friendship groups already
kie, you hit the point exactly, like I'm a freshman and I try to talk to people but I usually get shot down or ignored because I don't rlly know what to say. Even if you try, there's no guarantee you'll be meaningful to someone. Its sad but true. I have a gf, but we never see each other and we don't text that often and when we do, I always start it. I always feel very jealous whenever I see her laughing with her other friends or some of my friends, it makes me feel betrayed and worthless but I shouldn't feel that way. Your advice is good :) I wish you luckkk~
It’s simple as this, if you go into high school with no friend group, you are doomed until you graduate. That’s what happened to me
Nah, i have been given many opportunities that i didnt make good on at the time.
My heart aches for so many of you here! I remember the feeling. 🥺
I was chronically alone in both HS and even college. I made friends here and there, but it was hard to really find my tribe. Now I'm 30. Time flies. To those that are lonely and afraid. It's ok. Looking back at my youth, I spent way too much time caring about what others wanted and expected of me. I let fear, especially the fear of rejection control my life. I was so quick to abandon myself, my needs, and silence my own voice to "be liked" by people that were completely indifferent to my presence. Ouch. Pour into yourself. Discover you. Make mistakes, embarrass yourself, be awkward, achieve things, fail at more, LIVE. As you get older you will find your way and find peace, and even find solace in your solitude. You will find people who truly value and respect you and won't toss you aside for not being perfect. True genuine friends that feel as close as family. Hugs! ❤
Im 19 amd i dont have any friends :( i really want some, when i see other friends on youtube or irl, i feel sad and jealous cuz i wish i had it... also, im abused psychologically and emotionally for 3 years and it is still gping on now.. im wasting my youth 😢
@@buttercup86900Do you wanna be friends? I feel lonely too a lot sometimes
@@LondonGal-ob6jg sure!
@@buttercup86900do you have an app to talk on TH-cam keeps deleting my comments 💀
@LondonGal-ob6jg yes I have roblox Instagram and discord!
I'm a freshman but I've been homeschooled for all of my life, I don't know what to do or where to go but hearing your perspective was really neat :) I think it kinda opened my eyes a little and I appreciate it, I really want to meet other people because I've been isolated for pretty much all my life. it's really cool to hear the perspective of someone who's a little older and has had similar experiences. thank you for sharing
POV you’ve been lonely ur whole life 😭
ouch 😭
This was a super interesting and articulate vid I’m actually really surprised!! Surprised this hasn’t gone viral
For some reason I can just not talk at school. Like, I can talk at home and I’m still awkward but whenever I’m at school and I go every day without saying a word. And when people talk to me I make it awkward because I’m not used to having to talk at school. It used to be even worse but I try to actually say words now. I don’t know why I’m like this? This is why I haven’t had friends for many years. I can’t start talking now because I’ve already been not talking for a very long time and it would be weird if I did. I don’t know lol
Exactly! I’m literally the same way
It’s refreshing to hear about an experience that’s so scarily similar to mines. Love this and love ya too sis
Rather be lonely than hanging out with people who mistreated you
I had no friends from middle school through college. It is tough, but it ensures there are no distractions from your education and by being suspicious of peoples motives will protect you from being used.
Are you confident with talking to people?
@@gamegamer9523 Its work, but with practice and knowledge about the topic being discussed it is easier. I forced myself to management and yes there are moments when things are harder, I am not saying things will be easy.
@@OldVet67u r right, But it hurts.
I had to restart my social life in high school because the few friends I made in middle school all went somewhere else and stopped keeping in touch. I had people to have small chat with but nobody to actually sit and hang out with outside of school. I managed to finally form a small group with a couple guys in 10th grade until the pandemic hit and for the most part we still texted, but once 12th grade arrived I had a horrible falling out with my close online friend which sunk me into a bad depression and made them not want to hang around me. I managed to befriend a guy in my pe class until he asked me out and I rejected, which made him angry, made me even more uncomfortable, and I was back to being alone. One guy from my previous trio sided with him, and the other stopped talking to people too after some drama from another friend group occurred that I didn’t know about until a girl told me during grad rehearsals. My mom was the only one who encouraged me to be social but she passed away 2 months after. Now I’m in my third(?) year of college, only one guy tried to talk to me so far but AGAIN it was because he just wanted to date me despite me barely knowing him and hasn’t talked to me since. I’m back to being alone and I get so jealous seeing friend groups, irl or online just being so close and doing activities together. I guess I’m just gonna live as a socially anxious hermit forever lol
literally i have never felt so seen before this video. in terms of being alone, i mean, but honestly i haven't related to much other things like i did with this. i also love the perks of being a wallflower liikeee bruuuuh it had the hugest choke hold over me a few months ago and i would say i was 'literally him'. at times being lonely is nice, but most of the time i just feel so isolated and like im missing out on everything while other people my age are doing everything im not and really living. and sometimes i feel like i make people uncomfortable because im so quiet and dont know how to start conversations and im just in my head like 'oh my gosh i hope he or she doesnt think im weird because i dont speak😭😭'. but yeah this was like a perfect explanation of what im going through and i understand conpletelyyy, and ps you mentioned so many movies or books i LOVE like bones and all, pobawf, and the virgin suicides. so so real
Bruh Im crying bcs i search this up and miss my past its like the loneliness epidemic but its just the reality i didn't do highschool 😔 cs what if i could have met my ideal friends or some amazing person.. i feel like im old and like i miss physical touch even tho im not like tht to feel like someone cares yk i feel sad for myself lol
I have one friend but its like they need me just for advice or idk when they feel alone they avoidant like me..bcs ive been alone too much.
And it sucks as you get older kinda..
Im on the episode i always were like this alone introverted ,chameleon personality i don't show much interest in people..book reading
I had one bestie she broke me
I think i need Jesus idk
Real I searched it up as well trying to get out of being lonely but it’s hard book reading occupying as many hobbies because I can’t talk to ppl fr just got kicked out of a gc because I was 2 quiet idk what’s wrong w me but it’s sucks
@faiyaz9768 might sound corny ,Just ground yourself feel it..cry and journal about it or talk to a higher power.. sometimes I don't want to go to jobs bcs I feel disconnected to everyone bunch of mid 40 and 50 elders some people dont respect you bcs it's work the real world isn't school...
I am 21 and I freak out....but you know what being alone is self discovery and sometimes you are going to feel lonely and that's okay too let go of attachments, false expectations
Don't force anything but I would say find at least one person to talk too or re connect with an old good friend and if it doesn't work you're going to be just fine
and focus on ur studies like seriously.
Ahhg I'm like deep in thoughts
You got this keep going. You are love ❤️
and I care otherwise I wouldn't gaf
& you are enough .
Yes you do need jesus seek him amen
@@axmy0613I know how painful that is😭😭
@Frozenfish20.57-s3w not ur pfp being frozen fish lmao 😭
I just turned 15 and have no real friends. Just started my freshman year and the loneliness is starting to hit me real hard. When I was in middle school, I had buddies but now realize that it was just that. School buddies. No friend group. No outlet. No nothing. I play on sports teams and have had buddies again but am now realizing its not friendship. Popularity does not mean friendship. I have never been awkward and would go far enough to call myself an extrovert at times. But now I realize all this time I have just been a loser. If anyone out there is in the same boat as me don't hesitate to message me
Sameeeeeee
I feel this so hard there is no one to talk to after school it’s all just “buddies” who you don’t actually have friendships with
I'm a sophomore right now and the last time I had a friend was December of 8th grade. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has experienced this.
Mannn what I’ve realized(and I hope this is able to help others too) is that even if you are sociable and open and extroverted, sometimes that’s not the answer. Like I’m sick of people saying “all you have to do is be more social and do this blah blah and you WILL make friends” and yes, that might be the case for some sure. But if ur anything like me, and you have put yourself out there and took risks and you think of yourself as a pretty decent person and you’re still trying to figure out why you have no friends…well I feel like the hard truth that people don’t say is that I feel like what it really comes down to is you choosing to be ur true authentic self. I realized a long time ago that most people are really fake ESPECIALLY in high school. Even down to the friendship dynamics it’s FAKE. It’s exhausting to deal with that or try to pretend because sometimes that’s just not who you are. And I will say that there are people in there who will like you just as you are but in your case they might be more few and far between. But that’s okay. Keep being yourself because that will attract what you want.
high school is like the hunger games lol. people will do anything to survive.
It’s so much easier making friends outside of it I promise you.
Ps: I also want you to know that joining clubs that interest you could potentially get you closer to making friends too(:
It’s worth a shot and if it doesn’t that’s fine too just remember to stay true to yourself because no friends are better than fake ones.
You hit the point exactly, like I'm a freshman and I try to talk to people but I usually get shot down or ignored because I don't rlly know what to say. Even if you try, there's no guarantee you'll be meaningful to someone. Its sad but true. I have a gf, but we never see each other and we don't text that often and when we do, I always start it. I always feel very jealous whenever I see her laughing with her other friends or some of my friends, it makes me feel betrayed and worthless but I shouldn't feel that way. Your advice is good :) I wish you luck
U seem like the type of person that I would definitely vibe with though:(. Sadly i can't find anyone out of the 60+ students that i take classes with that are like want to talk or message me after school or stuff like that. I find it so funny that sometime you find posts on social media where people tell their story on their experience of having no friends and i find them to be the most lovely and funny person i have ever met?? like how could u not have any friends:((?? How could I ever meet someone like you?
This is quite relatable, I feel like the part of me that knew how to bond with people kinda just died sometime between 8th grade and freshman year. In grade school I always had a group of friends that I could come back to but now it seems all I can do is small talk with people and I just don't know how to take my conversations further to the point of making a friend. Last year I bonded with someone over a game we both play but that friendship kinda just died out after a while because I was so bad at keeping the conversations going and we eventually just lost interest and forgot about each other. Now I've started sophomore year and it feels the exact same, I can do lots of small talk but I don't know how to take it any further than that.
I feel invisible at school too, it's like most people don't even notice or consider me because I'm so quiet and I suck at socializing. In other words I'm the one kid who never gets a partner/group for a project until the teacher assigns me to one
Me too cause I started my freshman year last month and it’s like there’s no one who I see that could be my friend or that I really mess with fr, so that has just made it hard for me to focus on school when I just feel so lonely there.
I wish I had friends but I’m too shy to talk to anyone
I have been in your situation and my advice is that blame yourself take responsibility and take action.
Put yourself out there.
@Kem1sk start small like going to a club. But not talking to random strangers.
@@gamegamer9523I would do that but the school I went to for my freshman year even tho it was a huge school had no clubs that related to my interest (comics and anime) and the school I’m going to now is very small and has clubs at all
Your fault
That’s how I was. I had 2 friends by the end of secondary school. We would sit in art during lunch & break.. I don’t speak to anyone from school anymore & now I have no friends my age.
I wish I could have been friends with more people but my year of classmates was a nightmare.
It’s horrible in high school,
but it’s incredibly worse home schooled.
highschool was so hard for me i had no friends my life has been so much better af6ter graduation
help because i have old friends but once the pandemic hit; we all stopped hanging out with each other. once i went back to school (inperson) last year, i TRIED talking to my old friends and rekindling a relationship but they all made excuses as to why we couldn’t hang out. come to find out that they were sitting in a little corner with their new friends.
this whole situation kind of traumatized me due to my lack of social awareness + me being socially inept. it makes me so nervous just interacting with people because idk if they even really vibe with me or if they just hate me. not to mention my longing for a boyfriend; it’s so hard being a teenager nowadays. i’ve missed out on so much and it just breaks my heart tbh. (sorry for the rant)
It makes me feel so much better knowing people are in the same situation
i just started 9th grade like a month ago, and i have one friend from middle school with me but we don’t have any classes together. we eat lunch together but she doesn’t rlly talk to me, shes usually just on tiktok 😭
i havent made any friends yet and i legit feel like a ghost. seeing everyone else with their friend groups n stuff and your almost always alone sucks. i cant socialize either 😔 i have anxiety and dont understand social cues, so nothing rlly makes sense. all my friends from middle school (except for the one girl i mentioned earlier) are going to different high schools and it feels like we’re drifting away. idk man i just want friends 🧍
Im in my 12th and final year and I honestly think my social anxiety problems started in grade 9 and its too late to change to be honest.
I'm homeschooled but always wanted to transfer because especially living in the country i feel to isolated, but at the same time im scared i'd just feel more lonely.
I'm also homeschooled and this is so real. It's just me and none else
i’m a sophomore. i had friends, and one of them was my best friend since sixth grade. we were lucky because we had homeroom, lunch period, math tutoring, and spanish together. unfortunately, one of my friends was really self-absorbed and this became more apparent as time went on. she always made our conversations about her problems and interests. it got to the point where i felt that one of my parents could die or go missing and i would get the news in front of her and she would still make it about her. so at one point i got fed up. i told her i was tired of only hearing about her problems and she basically forced herself between me and my best friend, only to make everything about herself. it was incredibly freeing in the moment. my best friend chose her for some reason, and we moved on.
now i have no friends. i sit at lunch all alone. i mostly just read like you did. for the first few days, it was freeing. now it’s just repetitive. my problem is that adults make it sound so easy. “go up and talk to someone!” what if you embarrass yourself? what if there are no one with your interests?
your bit about the perks of being a wallflower resonated with me, because there’s a book just like that for me. the goldfinch by donna tartt. my favorite book and i will never shut up about it. the main character theo starts out the book by losing his mom, and when he returns to school, he meets up with his “friend,” tom. tom makes a tasteless joke about them getting in trouble that has connotations to theo’s mom’s death and ignores him. he doesn’t even acknowledge the elephant in the room. theo is rightfully enraged and cuts tom off. this part of the book really stuck out to me because it accurately displays that our “friends” might be people who we can tolerate and who can tolerate us. they might secretly have major problems and push us past our breaking point until we can’t continue the act anymore.
You are a very smart girl and even after what you’ve been through you’re still optimistic. Be proud that you’re using your time productively rather than turning to abusive substances. I promise your habits will pay off extremely well in the future.
I was really shy and quiet I was so scared to talk to people so I just kept to myself most of the time and because of that, everyone thought I was emo. So with that reputation it was really hard to make friends. It’s so awful
for me personally i knew exactly what i was getting into and this is what i expected, i also had no friends in middle school, im not necessary sad but yeah pretty lonely i literally watch people with their friends and listen to them talk to each other sometimes
I started self improvement in middle school for this exact reason. I figure it’s better to work on my social skills while I still can and have an air of security around me.
i feel so seen. like everything that you said is so true and what i’m currently experiencing. my anxiety gets so bad i can’t relax and it’ll last for hours. i get horrified at the thought of being in a class without people i know and it scares me so much. i hope that things get better since school has just started. 😭
I feel for this one lonely junior guy (I’m a sophomore) and talking to him in our 6th period makes me feel better knowing he isn’t alone for the entire day. He says 6th is his fav too, and we’re going on a walk tmmrw. He’s actually super chatty and nice! his problem with making friends stems from his quiet nature, speaking Spanish mainly (knows some English cuz that’s how we connected also English is the main language where I live), and just moving here from last yr from living in a whole other country. I feel he should put himself more because he’s a gem! Like I update him on my life regularly, we talk in paragraphs, and he genuinely is caring!
As a person who recently graduated and is now in college. My only regret was not getting to know more people. I wish I became friends with more people. I tried to be more open, but relationships and friendships are so superficial in todays world.
real i'm in my senior years and i still have no school friends 😭 low key feels like maybe there's something wrong with me but at the same time i guess i don't mind that much? i feel like it doesn't bother me as much because it doesn't necessarily mean things will always be that way
omg and the thing is people see you alone all the time and they just kinda assume that you want to be alone its even worse when you never know what to say when people actually do talk to you and its so awkward and you get this feeling like they'll never talk to you again because they think thats what you want but noo im just awkward )):
Your so real for this you described hs so perfectly I started going to a new school this year and it sucks I miss my friends 😭 I hope it gets better since I’m barely a freshman
I think that the worst part, for me, is that if you tried to get close to some people and the still ignore you, you start to doubt yourself. Like thinking that there is something wrong with being you and that just makes you feel even more lonely. Its like a spiral
Omg girl I'm in 11th grade rn, and whenever I don't have a friend in a class it is the most loneliest experience even though I know a lot of people and have been there for a few years. I appreciate you for coming out and telling us your experience with this. ☺️❤️ Especially because people are all around you enjoying themselves, but it's so hard to join them without feeling judged.
It's good to make friend in secondary/high school as you can develop social skills that way, but something I would say is that after high school, whether you go to university/college or start working, unless you decide to maintain regular contact with your high school friends, you will likely become very distanced from them over time, as you move onto other stages of life and other people (I know this from personal experience). Focus on school, but talk to people, and don't beat yourself up over anything. I hope you have a lovely day, and I wish you much success in whatever you decide to do!
We were a group of 7 but all of a sudden a new girl joined and made everyone hate me because i had “talked behind their back” .Now every time i have to talk in class or do anything they are laughing and giggling and I feel alone.
Luckily I do have friends but one of them lives in another country (I moved) and I only see my other 2 friends in the breaks because they are in another class.
I have to wait 2 more years to finish high school 🥲
Wish me luck
with all those students in the classroom i have no friends its also sad to watch..other all spreading smiles while you just sit there and do nothing..try to take a nap and spend the whole 8 hours i just can't anymore i wanna go in homeschooling but sadly in my freaking country school is more important than you and you can't take online classes
Same..
Humans have evolved loneliness, because in hunter gatherer societies, you couldn't survive very well without a community. It's measured that people have an average of about 2-4 main / most important friends, also due to statistics, there are some people that are part of several friend groups so they people end up with more friends closer.
Reading is very much helpful to the brain, and just a fun thing to do.
The internet automatically reduces your attention span because there are too many things you can access easily. Also seeing lots of opinions, but you only see their opinion on one thing, not knowing what you have in common, your brain doesn't relate to them, and divides opinion.
Senior right now-I have no close friends. I have no friend group. In freshman year,I left a troublesome friend group and have been solo ever since. Whenever i got down in sophomore and junior year,I always told myself things would get better during senior year. They just HAD to-that’s when all the big stuff happens. But here I am still with no friends. I missed my last homecoming,and will probably miss my grad bash and Prom too because it’s embarrassing to go alone. I’d rather have no memory then a bad one. I already tried going to events alone and I struggle t have a good time solo. I feel so terrible I’m missing on the « teenage dream » experience. I really want fond memories to look back on in highschool. Sometimes I cry,sometimes I can appreciate the trouble that having no social life gets me out of. Most times it’s hard. I want more to my life then my studies
interesting prospective, i've been surrounded by people while high school experience. ups and downs with a shit ton of people but i've always had someone there.
right now i'm in 3rd year in technical school, 2 more left to finish. going into first year i had some close friends from middle school, but as time went on we stopped talking. in my first year i made some friends and even became a part of a group that consisted of 4 people + me. our connection was literally based on being lgbtq etc etc, not a good thing to base friendships on.
in my second year i became more miserable with them [note: before technical school i was a normal girl, my ex friends from middle school manipulated me into thinking that i was not attracted to anyone and thinking that i have no gender. so i was pretty miserable even before them.] hating myself and neglecting my family, my needs and my duties.
on the summer break before third year i isolated myself a bit more from them and began spending more time with my family, notably with my cousins. we went on holidays together and my cousin even began taking me to martial art classes which i go to till today:) one day i wanted to talk with one person [i sat with him at a school desk all 2nd year] from my friend group about that my views have changed and are mostly opposing to what their whole group believes in. to my suprise he also agreed with me, but well, to this day he hangs out with them.
and comes the start of third year - i notice he starts to distance himself from me, so i begin to slowly shift away from them as a whole.
today i find myself in a somewhat comfortable position for me - 1. thanks to my cousin, i have found my closest family in the people who i train martial arts with, 2. i am in a better place mentally compared to my recent years when i hang out with these groups of friends, 3. i have taken better care of myself
although all of this happened, i still hold respect for these people because at the end of the day, they are still human beings inside. i'm quite content with how things have played out, but having no one to talk to on the corridors in school or between lessons is really tiring mentally, especially since i sit alone. but well, a kindest thing a person can do for themselves is to let people go when they want to go:) i do miss some moments of our friendship, but not the feelings that accompany these memories.
i really doubt that someone will read all of this, but to anyone who does - even if things are not looking good, have hope, appreciate every moment, before they turn into memories.
ranting on a random youtube comment section at 9 pm combined with tomorrow having a math exam is really something i wouldn't have thought of
I feel like one of the biggest reasons why I struggle with putting myself out there to this day (I'm a senior) is because I was constantly warned about how people could twist my words and put words into my mouth so I have hard time talking to people and just being genuine and being myself. Obviously, I don't go out of my way to say rude or obnoxious things, but some people could be unhinged and make it seem like you're the bad guy. And then everything just blows up in your face, and you don't know what to do or how to fix it. And to make matters worse, if you don't have like a BEST friend, you don't have anyone to back you up when there is drama. I haven't gotten into any drama but I was constantly warned about it and that caused me to close myself off and over analyze people. And on top of that, some people can be just so judgmental which makes you feel like you need to tone down your personality and put on this fake persona. And you either end up creating a completely false identity or you become the "quiet kid." And every time you stand up for a presentation or the teacher calls your name, that one kid is gonna be like, "Omg, who's blank?" "I didn't know they were in this class." And honestly, what are you even gaining from that? You're not gonna know everyone in your class if you don't branch out and don't look around. So, keep that comment to yourself. So, honestly, just go out there and be yourself. Stop overthinking, it's really not that deep. Don't be rude or obnoxious, and be your genuine self. Uplift others and yourself and soon people will gravitate towards you. High school is only 4 years and it goes by fast even if it doesn't like it sometimes. And always remember, someone out there in your school is just as lonely as you are if not more. Go approach the people siting alone, don't be afraid to take up space.
I actually have no one to talk to like in 8th grade I had good friends that I liked and we were all very close but after 8th grade ended it was only the Freind who I liked the most and I was the closest with who even talks to me anymore since i went to a different school than then.
In my freshman year last year I got really fat over the summer which I was overweight before but not big big but last year in 9th grade idk why but I just couldn’t bring myself to talking to anyone like I would think about being Freinds with people but I just couldn’t think of doing it because I don’t want to embarrass myself and end up looking weird and I also thought that since I was fat that nobody would want to talk to me after that I talked to nobody other than my teachers for the entire year at all and now I’m in a different school for sophomore grade year but it’s the same and I just think nobody would wanna talk to a socially awkward fat guy sometimes i have thoughts abt committing especially with how bad my freshman year is but my mom is already struggling and I could never think to put that much on her shoulders just because I got fed up I don’t even know what to do I just hate my life man
I went through high school and college alone. Now I’m graduated and still alone. I think some people are just destined to be alone…
it also hard having lots of friends cuz rumours get spread abt u and stuff
I’m a freshman and my friend barely talks to me and I feel so lonely😭😭😭😭
All my friends were class of 23, im class of 24 been eating lunch alone all year and yk a couple people you know here and there but mostly lonely asf. Going from being on wrestling and football team and having friends, to completely lonely my senior year really gave me a new perspective
I forgot what having friends is like. It’s been years. As someone who also doesn’t have friends, it’s a nightmare to be surrounded but people you don’t know much about or feel comfortable with. I’m hoping for my life to get better soon so I can be alone
im in ninth grade and im in a progressive diverse k-12 school that is super into inclusion and i almost never had any friends. in lower school i. would play tetherball alone,the covid hit and i got depression, didnt do any schoolwork, in 7th grade i had distant lunch friends for a year and a half, with depression in 7th grade and crying everyday during lunch instead of eating, then the friends left me in the dark, now im in ninth grade, in the fall i tried to eat with the sweat girls, in nov i started doing hw during lunch, in jan i started eating lunch in the side stairwell alone watching movies on my computer. i started fall behind on hw, in march i got my phone taken away permanently, but i still watch movies on my computer. late April i relapsed into cutting. being alone is harder than it looks, and no i cant just ‘join clubs’. 🙄 my sister has always had friends so i know the difference
Sending you big hugs.. I wish everyone in this comment section could just casually meet up.. instead of being alone in our little corner of the 🌎, GOD BLESS YOU 🙏💕
I moved to a new school and I have confidence, don't put my head down, and I just choose to be more quiet bc I tend to be reserved and not have much to say anyways at least around all the people there.
for me i moved to a new sch in another city in this school year,it's been over 3 months but i dont have a comfort fri ,just know ppl as classmates and i'm always eating lunch or going to toilet alone .No one is calling me out or willing me to their fri .AND they think i'm always alone cuz i like being alone like sitting with no one and just reading books, drawing or something else.I'M just a side charater..
ever since starting middle school, ive had no friends and high social anxiety. i would talk to people in my classes but i would never develop real friendships. i would literally talk to myself during lunch because of being so alone and having no one to talk to. people would begin make fun of me for talking to myself making more closed off from making friends and talking to people entirely. i’m now a freshman and have zero friends and absolutely no one to talk to. being alone sucks so much.
You are a great speaker keep making videos likes this!
I don’t have friends in all of my periods. It’s eating my alive so bad that I’m switching online
I was this popular kid who lnows everyone n shit but when i got to hs, i got into a fight w my friend group cuz they were being asses n i dont want them to be toxic w me n after that everything went down hill.... Im still popular w the seniors n juniors n other classes (im from sl n ur supposed to stick to the class from 1st year till 11th ) im stuck w my class all day everyday n i only see my fruends whenn theyre off duty (senior prefects) so i was alone mostly n i read books when everyone always talking n when my senior friends pass by i fake listen to my old friends so i dont seem like a loser n all
“Dosen’t mean others can’t see your worth, dosen’t make you any less valuable. Don’t let narrow-minded people define your worth. ❤”
Hey I’m going through the same situation not even going to lie, I wanted to say that your personality literally dragged me into your video like your vibe is magnetic I’m sure you’ll make a shit ton of friends. Bro when I heard you say you were in Chicago I was like no way 🤨 I’m from Chicago too currently struggling to find some friends 😔
I just finished reading perks of being a wallflower as a 10th grader and oh my god, Charlie is so me too. Like I’ve never ever related to anything more in my life and I’m very happy to see it mentioned here
im a freshman in highschool, and im in a friend group(normally 10-12 people, but it varies bc my friends have other friends who are also my friends that appear from time to time, more specifically during lunch all 20+ of us sit together), but i generally struggle to make “best” friends because im shy, (with the exception of my freshman year, where i currently have an english class with two new girls that i saw during orientation and thought were cool, and uhm, now i have two new friends!) but i dont normally talk with people one on one unless im completely comfortable around them, (like this super cool queer boy whos new to my highschool (im gay too) that talks to me a lot during lunch, and we make eye contact across the room and snicker during our choir that we have together and so on.), but i do have other friends, i just wish i was close enough to someone to be able to call them my best friend… and it makes me slightly heartbroken to see all my friends so close to each other, but ive come to accept the fact that i may never have a best friend, but i believe that the 3+ people ive been “best” friends with since elementary are good enough, plus all the other people i call my friends (too much to count :’) ) despite the fact that i only have one or two classes with 2/3 of them. looking at all these peoples stories makes me realize im much more fortunate, and i wish other schools has the same system as mine, as ive known these people for so long, ive stuck with them mostly since kindergarten, and even 6th grade. i wish all those without besties, or even friends good luck, in this scary sort of social world.
I actually like being by myself I used to always have a friend group in high school (I’m a junior) and literally the best thing I’ve done is just being by myself because everyone is so fake nowadays like every friend group secretly hates each other and it’s like why would anyone wanna put themselves in those situations you know I just haven’t been able to talk to anyone now because for what just to get talked bad about I’ve just learned at the end of the day you got yourself
this reminds me of a girl in my class in middle school that always just reads on lunch time and I’ve never even seen her talk to anyone ever, me and my friends tried to befriend her but she had no interest at all.
I've been at the same school (my school is a middle and high school) since 8th grade, i'm in 11th now and still no friends. It's gotten so bad i've been sitting in the bathroom during lunch to avoid being seen sitting alone. I only have two close friends and they both live in a different state. I'm literally so lonely it's actually insane. I don't even want a big group of friends just one person is enough. The amount of times i've had to do group projects and partner work alone because other people refuse to work with me or the things i've missed out on because i'm too scared to get involved just makes me feel worse. I don't know what i'm doing wrong and at this point i'm starting to accept the fact i'm not gonna make friends and i'm probably gonna be alone in college as well.
Living the lonely life rn
I tried making friends my freshmen year but honestly now I just can’t be asked making the effort. Probably gonna have a grand total of 1 or 2 friends by the time I graduate 💀
praying for you heres a psalm that got me through alot Psalm 23
1The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
i struggle with making friends sometimes too but whenever im sad and stuff im reminded that God is my friend and hes always there for me when i have no one to talk too i still have God and even when i do. please lean on him and pray . much love reply if you need anything.
God bless you! I hope you’re feeling better ❤️❤️
its hard, and some people say how its so easy to create connections. I dont know, its just difficult knowing that most people really just stick to what they already have. (sticking to their own groups) No doubt, i try talking. But so far i havent made any connections but just mere acquaintances. Sometimes i cant help but get jealous over people who can make connections so quickly, i dont know how they do it. I went from being friends with the whole class in elementary to being an lonely sophomore. Its sad, and i wish being lonely wasnt an problem for me. Everyone deserves an friend, everyone deserves someone. For all of my lonely people, i hope you all find someone. Someone perfect for you, connections that can really stick to you for an lifetime.
I was in high school 10 years ago and was alone the whole time. That was horrible. When I try to remember any memories from that time, I usually can't remember any.
Real....