"Your body is a vessel for your soul. It is not for other people's enjoyment, it is not for other people to approve of, it is not for other people to rate, it is not for other people." - Penny Tovar Love this. 💕
@@cjrodriguez22 I can’t believe you wrote this five years ago. It’s so wonderful and you know what they don’t teach it in school and they don’t teach self-defense to kids in school either.
Jasmine Anthony me too!! I had such negative thoughts about myself and now that I’m in university I feel so liberated and have learned to love myself and not care (or care less) about the things other people think about me
the person behind your class that sits alone at lunch, go talk to them, i swear it will make you feel and be a better person. You don’t need to be there friend but at least let them know theirs someone that thinks about them
I did this for a girl in year 6 because I always felt I 'stole' her best friend from her , she and her best friend were really close until the girl who was the best friend became a part of my friendship group and we pretty much became best friends so I tried including her and looking out for etc whenever I could for about a year until it came to our last day (of primary school) and she told me I was always the nicest person to her when everyone else made her feel invisible and she would genuinely miss me - I didn't think what I was doing did anything at the time but I was so happy to hear that and to this day it's one of the best compliments I've received :) moral of the story: be friendly and make someone feel included , it might help them more than you think :)
How is gamora? But you shouldn’t do that on purpose to be or feel that “better person”. It’s like making points in the computer game so... Just do nice things
Yea especially when i don’t have the body type others girls my age have. I’m teaching myself to love myself tho. Trust me you’ll be much happier being u!
I’m so glad that someone else has actually been through the same thing that I did, and not just saying oH I hAvE nO fRiEnDs to be relatable. I also had no one to sit with or talk to or text at ALL and I used to go home everyday for lunch or go to the library. I felt it when you said it’s so painfully lonley. It really is. I always wanted to hang out with someone but I literally had no one to do so, and it sucks when people assume you have friends like “what do you usually do with your friends?” Or “why don’t you text a friend about it”. That’s how I spent all of grade 8 and my freshman year, I’m going into grade 10 now and I’m hoping it will be different.
I wish I could say I didn’t but I COMPLETELY relate to everything you said.. I didn’t have a single friend, I put my mom and my sister through hell (which they didn’t deserve) to the point where they felt unsafe in their own house.. self harm, being beat up at school constantly, I struggled with gender, aaaand then I dropped out of high school. and because of all the dumb shit I still to this day feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I might have a massive community/crowd around me that appreciate me and look up to me, I have good friends, I have my family, but still I just feel like an outcast, like I don’t belong, If that makes sense. Either way, I’ve come a long way and I’m 1000% happier but the shit did leave a lasting impact and I can’t wait to some day get completely over that. Cos I will Some day, I know I will heh. AnYWAYS I need to shut the fuck up, ILY and I love your t-shirt lol
My mom always said , it's better to have just one friend that will always be honest with you then 20 that will stab your back . And just be yourself 💖 and not everyone has to like you and u don't have to care if they don't .
I’m 17 now in senior year still sitting alone at lunch. I feel like I’ve just gotten numb to being lonely and not having anyone to talk to. I feel like the only thing keeping me sane is going to the gym and working on myself even though I hate everything about me. But what hit me the most in this video is when she talked about wishing to just be like other people being “normal”
That "friends with popular people" thing really resonated with me,, idk why I'm so scared of reaching out to the "popular kids" even when I know that they aren't that different from me...😭
Seriously.. popular kids or whatever are nothing. Theres nothing to be afraid of. Yes some people including me, used to get kinda nervous when we were abt to talk to them but pft its nothing srsly. Hope the best for your new school year💕
Yo, this is freaky. You took me back to a very dark time in my life, incredibly dark, I was straight up evil, and broken. God is so faithful to pull us out of the pit. I'm alive because He is 🙌🏽
Middle and high school were the worst years of my life. This woman speaking facts! Your best years are in college or if you do not go to college, your adult life will be better than in a school setting. I know some people may disagree, but majority of the people in the comments have it rough too like me😪💯
My late middle school years and my early high school years 💀 i was already skipping school sooo much. And because I didn’t go to school I didn’t stay caught up, and because I didn’t stay caught up I didn’t get the best grades, i didn’t have friends, i have social anxiety so I was too scared to talk to anybody about anything. Man, I’ve just started the new school year and I am already done. I try too and my mom doesn’t understand what I’m going through which makes it hard because it’s caused some fights. Sorry… this is like two years later and I am just ranting to you about my own problems 😑
@@ѕкує It’s totally fine, Skye. I talked about my experiences with male friendships recently in a video, so seeing your comment is crazy to me. By the way, the video came out a month ago and I talked about middle school/high school friendships with boys (plus more)😭💯
About a week ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression and lately my life has been horrible my family life is a huge reason for how I am feeling and after I watched this video it made me realize that after I graduate high school I can move on and start over and this really really helped me I’m so proud of you for all that you have overcome I know how it feels and I’m just hoping I can do what you did thank you so much❤️
I have been through it Life does get better Everything in the life happens for a reason and people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime
I can promise right here on this comment section it will get better, this is just a small part of your life it will pass, so concentrate in being the best version of yourself to have a better life, the life you deserve 💕
I completely understand wym. In high school I was an extreme loner. I would always let my anxiety/depressive thoughts hold me back from living my life happily. I did have a small group of friends but even then we seldom spent time outside of school. I utterly felt like I was part of nothing and the only thing I could do was focus on my grades like you said. As for my family, I was also really nasty towards them. I'm glad though that I could heal as well and move on from that point. College is a bit of a different story and I still struggle but I'm staying optimistic :)
@@adeliazulaikhaazmi I got some advice for you: Don’t waste time on social media (that’s literally the root cause that causes all these mental disorders nowadays) Focus on your studies. Focus on yourself Surround yourself with people that like you and care for you the way you are Don’t push out positive people from your life only to just let negative people in Embrace your insecurities and weaknesses. Don’t try to be popular or cool. Be you.
my middle school was horrible. i had suffered through severe social anxiety. i had it since elementary but had friends from kindergarten. in middle school all my friends made new friends. they would say, “you can be friend with both of us!” but no..i couldn’t. it’s easy for, and at the beginning me and my friends talked and agreed “i’m not gonna make friends” and maybe they were joking. but i wasn’t. i had no friends. i hated it. i cried everyday. a good day, was a bad day, just..better.
Advice to freshman: Make as many friends as you can and stick with a positive attitude. It only benefits you later because if you don’t youll have a higher chance of feeling alone and it’s hard to bring grades up once they’re already down. *the key is stay ahead while you can* :)
1GirlOnFire1 well, I was the type of person that rarely fit in. and I'd rather make real friends instead of a lot of fake ones. sorry but this isn't great advice
Madelyne I’m not saying make “fake friends” I’m just saying put yourself out there and go for it. As an introverted person I regret not doing that and I really don’t have any friends because of it. In your freshman year is where everyone begins meeting eachother so it’s important to not become reclusive and expect everyone to try and be your friend when you just sit in the background, that’s all I’m saying :)
high school was TERRIBLE. academically i was doing fine but socially i was extremely depressed and was constantly picked on for the dumbest stuff (my race, my loud af personality). it got to the point where i just stopped talking all together and just kept to myself and my 2 friends (who i wouldn't trade for that huge group of friends you see at lunch). it wasnt until college where i found who i really was and found people who brought the best out of me, who support me, and want nothing but success for me. i can also confirm that *it does get better* ❤️
My experience in high school was hell. completely hell ! The fact that I was in a abusive relationship for all 4 years made me hate myself for who I was I always felt wrong for doing what I did. I felt like I didnt fit in because I was either too quiet, not popular, not smart, or not fun to be around . For the some what of friends I did have I pushed away. I was always bullied by the mean girls because I didnt dress up because I ddint have what they did. Till finally senior year is what topped it for me . I got pregnant senior year by my abusive boyfriend. my mom found out and completely shut me out and told me I wasnt her daughter anymore my real dad wasnt in the picture and my step dad was completely disappointed with me . At the time and became the high school joke . Everyone made fun of me for being that girl who got pregnant in high school for being the dumb one to stay in a abusive relationship. I ran away and never spoke to my family was homeless bouncing from house to house. never went to the doctors to check how my child was doing. I hated everyone and my self let alone bring a child into this ass of a world. I had become so depressed during my pregnancy I tried killing myself 2 times. I hated who I had become what I've done and why I was even alive to see another day if I was such a disappointment. Until I had a eye opening experience. EMT sent me to the hospital after a emergency with self harm. That's where it ended i was done and I heard it . I got to hear my child heart beat and forgot about everything my pain my suffering.. everything was gone . My heart filled with joy and never have I loved myself more then I do now after that freak accident. I told my self Everyone was wrong that I was going to show them they were wrong I took my ass back to high school graduated in 3 weeks of being back got my diploma and walked the stage . I started college at acc in austin and got a great job with a tech company because of my college career path. My child came out healthy and is about to be 1 years old in a couple of days . I ended up fixing my relationship with my step dad and till this day he supports me and my son unconditionally he was there for me in the hospital when no one else was saw me walk the stage and do everything on my own. My mom never came back into my life but I still love her . In the end I turned out to be my best so trust !!! Everything does get better !!!!
Gaby Terrazas that’s amazing that you’ve come this far! I don’t know you but I’m proud and inspired. I wish you the best of luck in life and your relationships!
I’ve always had trouble making friends and talking to people. I’m just the type of person to be really quiet around people I don’t know. In middle school I had a group of friends. I had to go to a different high school then them. But we got into a fight and no one would talk to me. I am a junior now and I’ve been sitting in the bathroom stall during lunch ever since the beginning of freshman year. I have just gotten used to it. I Used to cry a lot and I still do. I’ve just never really gotten over it. I’ve never put in effort to make friends. I’m just too shy and boring. I don’t Know how to start a conversation or keep it going. I’ve just been trying to get through high school. And honestly I don’t want friends. I Realized that through my whole life all they ever do is leave me. At the same time I feel like I ruined my whole life.
It’s not ur fault, you need to know ur worth and not let any one tell u different. Sis I’m in the exact same boat as u n the only thing we can do is pray for each other because it will get better ;)
Wow the part about being shy and boring hits hard because that's what I am and honestly it's tough because i started sophomore year in new school.. no friends.
@@althea9909 same im not in a new school but i don’t have lunch with any of my friends and i’m scared of losing them so i never feel happy in the morning before school
I felt almost exactly like this.but in middle school.i felt soooo alone. I had no one to sit with at lunch no one to partner up with. Heck I would sit in the bathroom at lunch beacuse I did not want to be be seen alone by all the other “cool/popular” kids.i was super insecure about my looks that I would not even look at someone in the eye for more than 5 seconds beacuse I was afraid that they would notice my features. I felt everyday would get worse and I always ask myself what is wrong with me? Why does no one like me? What do I have go through this? Honestly when I would see all of my so called friends hanging out and have fun I would feel so sad and defeated. Almost every night I would go home and cry at night. During school sometimes I would tear up a bit but I would not let it slip.i would always smile when someone would talk to me beacuse I did not want them to now I was sad and think something was up.literaly the smallest things like a friend I have not seen for a while smiled at me would make my day.thank you penny for sharing this. It makes me feel better that other people had gone through the exact same thing as me. Anyway thanks for listening to my ted talk. X
Same i went through this till middle school to the point where my dad would get angry and ask me if I need to see a doctor because i was just sad n gloomy all the time.
I was really lonely in middle school too. I'd sit in class where everyone is talking to everyone else and I'd be quiet at my desk pretending to do work. I'd sit at the lunch table and none of my friends would talk to me. Then I went to a different table of friends. And they didn't talk to me either. It was really hard to not start crying. I spent those 2 years jumping around friend groups trying to find out where I belong. It's my 3rd year in high school now and I've finally found a group of great and dependable friends.
This was me in in year 7 and 8, holy shit. I'm going into year 10 now (summer holidays), and I think I'm getting better. Baby steps guys, take it at a realistic pace, and *try* to stay optimistic.
Kinda late to watch this video, but I just came across it and I literally cried. I am a sophmore in HS, and I am recovering from depression, and have had history of self-harm, anxiety, and severe selfhate. I literally listen to your story, and I think its literally me. I cried so much because I actually have so similar stories. I had an abusive boyfriend, when I was recovering and in treatment for depression, that took me to various suicide attempts. I also come from an incredibly amazing family, I have both of my parents and brother living with me and they are so suportive. I had no friends because I just cut them off, and as ironic as it sounds, my only source of confidence or support was and has been a teacher. I am so inspired by your story and I really felt identified. I love you so much and I really apreciate you sharing. Thank you so much x
Hope you are doing ok but listen. When I get sad or depressed sometimes I just think to myself why would I be sad. There is a whole universe out there with different types of intellectual life and landscapes and Im over here worrying about dumb shit. To tell you the truth we dont matter and nothing matters. We are just a grain of sand in the infinite universe. So there is no reason to be sad. Be happy 😀💪🤗
I'm in a place where i would like my secrets to get out to just something happen in my life. it's a really toxic mindset but I'm not in a good place right now
Lol, told someone my secrets and it’s the worse decision I’ve ever made in my life. Yeah, it’s better to be along than be friends with someone who will backstab you in the end. Sometimes people truly won’t change.
Penny Great video as usual! As a freshman high school was ok, but after that year things were better! Anyone worried about high school, don't stress about it you will be your own worse nightmare. Just enjoy it and learn because before you know it be over. Enjoy those years 🤗 Everyone have a blessed rest of the week 😇
I’m 14 and this is 100% relatable, I have only just started making friends again after about three years and I am beginning to come out of this negative cycle. I also had depression, anxiety and eating disorders. There was nothing I would necessarily recommend, as therapy and anxiety/depression groups never worked for me, however (this is gonna sound so weird) vitamins really helped me to become happier. I take one/two drops of CBD oil in the morning and evening, as well as B-vitamin supplements (in the morning) and L-tryptophan at night. Please try this honestly and remember, you are loved xxxxxx
I can kinda relate to your story. When I was a kid, I always had friends and people to talk to. Freshmen year was okay, because I had my friends. But I started to notice that I didn’t really could relate anymore. And that’s ok because sometimes people grow apart. Sophomore year was terrible. I decided to stay a little away from those “friends” because I felt they didn’t like me anymore. I was too scared to find new ones. I felt I was not good enough and stupid and that nobody wanted to be my friend. That year was pretty lonely. I sometimes sat with one of my old friends during lunch, but it was weird for me. I isolated myself and started hating myself. Now I’m in junior year, and I try to focus on my schoolwork. I still hate myself but I try not to. I sit alone and distract myself by TH-cam, Reddit and reading books. It’s sad that the library isn’t open during the lunch break, because now everyone will see me sitting alone and judging me. I try to say to myself that I don’t need friends and that it’s fun by myself. It works sometimes. Most of the time not. This year I’m trying to stop hating myself, so I can be happy. It isn’t really working yet, but I will get there, I hope. In the meantime I’m not making any friends irl, because I’m afraid of people. I never say anything in school. Okay that was a pretty long story. Loved the video m. Thanks a lot. I cried multiple times. ❤️ have a nice day everybody
Watching this literally made me feel better. Mental health is seriously not taken serious by people until they GO THROUGH IT. I literally went through the exact same thing. Anxiety, Anger, Depression. It was like I was in a hole and dirt was adding into it. I felt like there was no way out of that hole. I literally had no idea how to cope with it. I truly understand you when you said you felt alone even though you weren’t. I was mad at everyone because I felt like they weren’t understanding me but it was that mental block.
I agree honey, I agree so wholeheartedly! High school was a DARK time and now I’m in my 2nd year of community college and I feel so much better. Also, I’ve learned and grown - like you said - “learned better coping mechanisms.” How to deal with anger and those emotions that used to cause me to ruin the relationships with those I loved and cared for the most. If anyone in high school is reading this, know that it is 100% true, IT DOES GET BETTER. I used to wonder if I was going to feel that way forever or be surrounded by ignorant people forever. But believe me, High school will be over sooner than later. It will end eventually, and you’ll be off to the next part of your life. She is right, it does get better. Hang in there you guys and girls
We’re the same person. I didn’t know it was possible for me to relate this much to someone. The self hate, the studying, the depression, the anger, the OCD, all of it. My living situation was a bit complicated (no abuse lol, they’re good people). My coping mechanism was studying, except I burnt out in senior year pretty bad, and ended up getting lower grades than people who did way less than me, the. I hated myself even more which made me burn out even more, and it got worse and worse and my grades plummeted which made the whole cycle of hate for myself even worse. It was a bad time I just graduated highschool and I just hope university will be better. This was the worst time of my life and I didn’t know I’d relate to someone this much.
I am in Highschool right now and all I can say, it’s horrible. It all started with a rumor which wasn’t true at all now everyone in school including the teachers hate me, I try to make friends but instead they just push me down the stairs… I just can’t wait to go to college and make this all stop, recess is the WORST
Because of covid, I wasn’t able to make strong connections with people during zoom classes, therefore none of them were considered friends. I started sophomore year three days ago except I moved schools. Everyone in school already knows each other. I don’t. I felt so bad about myself because no one came up and talked to me. I tried to make small convos with others, but none of them seemed that interested. I cried for 4 hrs in my room after the first day of school. I had to straight up lie and tell my parents that the first day was good :/. So yeah. I really wish I was able to go in person my freshman year. But again, it wasn’t an option. F in chat
I’m a sophomore too and although I go to the same school , I feel like I don’t know them anymore and if I get along with them I’m not a friend that’s priority yk. It’s ok. We are in this together
I feel the exact same way. Well, tmrw is my first day of school (sophomore) I’m going to try to keep an open mind. By the way, if you ever need somebody to talk to I’m here
Wow that's literally me. Online classes all through freshamn year... no friends. Started sophomore year 3 days ago in new school and every new kid that joined already befriended the whole class while I'm here pretending to be busy in my phone and feeling like crap because no one seems to be really interested in talking with me. I don't know what to do because 3 more years of HS and I already feel lonely af
It is so relieving to know someone else went through exactly what I've been through, because everyone else looked like they had their life together and were genuinely enjoying it
thank u!!!!! I really needed this because i just have really crappy friends that i feel obligated to stay with . I feel so terrible and their negativity just eats away at me and it’s making me miserable..i really needed this bc they were ruining my peace of mind and i needed to let this out but thank you for making this!!(it’s been 6 years but still!!!)
I feel you. I’ve been getting left out in one of my classes and it makes me feel like crap ngl. Just remember this is all temporary and you’re going to have better days soon. I believe we’re going to be okay. ❤️🩹
Sometimes depression has no reasoning. We just have to be stronger and let ourselves feel the emotions not try to escape them. I’m glad you’re in a better headspace now and those days are wayyy over. Bigger better things now!!!
Thank you for mentioning the fact that your brain is still developing when you're in your teens. If it helps anyone else to know this, your brain isn't finished cooking until your mid 20s, it's a biological fact. So it's no wonder your brain can make you feel like shit when you're in a high-tension, judge-y environment like high school. I was depressed for about a third of my high school experience and looking back, I wish I had known more about why I felt the way I did. At the time, I couldn't understand that it was a temporary problem. I was lucky because my brain sorted itself out eventually.
Im in 10th grade, ive been doing online school for the past year and a bit and honestly Im struggling, I have no friends atall, I lost all my friends because of lack of communication. Im honestly going through the hardest time and I feel like I have noone to talk to. Every thing has been feeling so much worse lately because my 16th birthday is coming up and I dont want to celebrate it because I have noone to celebrate with and I always looked forward to having a "sweet 16" when i was a little girl so the fact that I can't have one has been weighing down on me ontop of everything else. Ive thrown myself into school work and doing art in my freetime wich helps me cope but whenever I'm not doing that i just feel extremely sad and lonely, I cant help but feel like my teen years are being wasted because im constantly at home. This video made me feel a little better and its comforting to hear someone else talk about being lonely and say that it will get better tho
Same with me here. I'm 8th grade and I'm extremly lonely. The only times I talk with people are the bullies who bully me. I'm facing a lot of problems with my family because of an accident that happened to my 2 year old brother. Now my mother doesn't live with us anymore instead he's living in a very dark and old worn out apartment where my grandfather lived. I can't even talk with my family much. That feels so sad and dark.
I had friends in high school and I still felt like I did not fit in anywhere. College has NOT been any better for me; instead I got depression, anxiety and burnout. I only have 2 years left and I will never return to an academic environment again. I am so much happier working and spending time with those who love me. I don't want to return to see every other College student with their friend group experiencing the best time of their life while I am dying inside. I don't even want that College experience anymore. I just want to work and improve my art. I want to create artistic masterpieces.
Ok I just found you and have watched several of your videos. This one is my favorite so far. I seriously love you and your attitude toward life, you got my subscription!! Also: high school was a vivid Hellscape, lonely af and depressing, thank God it only lasted 4 years otherwise I wouldn't be here.
Crying at the end of watching this is a different kind of pain. I'm 15 and moved to an all-girls school last year. Since then, I've been letting this dark side control me. I have unintentionally told lies that have torn apart frienships, and because of my insane lack of confidence ( I've had this from the start) I can barely sit in a room without feeling nervous. Thoughts such as "Who is looking at me?" "Am I not doing the right thing?" What if people are judging me? This attidude made me concious about the features on my body that I have. Not gonna lie, I was born with a 'perfect hourglass figure'. Not to mention, as soon as I hit puberty my eyes became more beautiful and I started to look attractive and appealing to the eye, playing both face value and bpdy value cards at one time. Some people dreamed to have an appearance like me, and doubted me when I told them that "Trust me, it's not all as good as it seems". Boys staring at me only added to myalready consious mindset. Due to Covid, I would say I lost all the good in. my personality. I went from loving, kind, natrually caring and intelligent to the exact opposite. I was rude to my family members and even made my mother cry infront of me and her telling me to improve my behavior. This one negatvie voice formed in my head, making me loose track of my responsibilities such as studying for an enterance exam to get into a better school. I was often told that I looked confused and lost, which was true. I felt myself growing more intrigued and diving into my thoughts more, unnecessarily overthinking things and because of this, I think I ruined all the chances I had.
I had alot of worst moments in my school life.when I was in 10th class.I used to be silent,simple girl with two ponytails,I only reply when someone talk to me that's it.most of my classmates were my coachingmates as well.Once in my coaching a boy(classmate) accidentally threw a jug of water on me.i don't think it was accidentally (he said cooler se current laga isliye girgaya) one of my friend which was my best friend in past not at that time was laughing at me and saying (you bathed) hahaha.. She said everyone in the school abt this everyone was laughing at me no one was with my side I didn't share this incident with anyone not even my parents Then after that many more incidents happened Like… 3 of my classmates punctured my cycle tyre.there was no cycle mechanic on my way that's why I had to drive with the punctured tyres That's why I started to stay alone in my school and coaching In coaching there was we 9 students only 3 girls (me included) and 6 boys.I used to go on time in coaching always. Once I went early 5 boys were present teacher didn't come yet… I went and sit on sofa(we used to sit there) they started using abusive language (not directly saying to me ) but indirectly they mean that the used b**bs and making fun of mensuration etc and finally teacher came. I got relief then I started to go late on coaching. But sometimes this incident happened with me ( when teacher was late) Once in school one of my friend clean her inked hands with my back. My uniform was spoiled. And It was mid session of school (it was secondary school also my school was ending ) my parents refused me to buy new uniform My parents asked Who Did This.I said My friend my father complained in my school abt that next day.and on that I silently cried in prayer I don't know why.I was hurt. one of my teacher saw me and asked what happened I said nothing… My teacher told this to my father ( when he went to complain)…I was more hurt to know that my father knew I cried… My father asked me why I cried. I lied that I didn't cried my friend was crying teacher thought its me . once again everyone laughed at me bcoz of my uniform And many more incidents happened can't share all. I already wrote too much
Thank you for sharing this. Realize that at least, you are stronger than me by opening up to your experiences and sharing it.. including sharing it to the many others who had similar experiences from just nasty immature people who should one day look back at the things they did and hopefully regret it dearly. But you are not alone.
i really needed this right now, i’m a senior and literally just went through the most horrible situation with the most manipulative boy and i was just watching youtube when this popped up thank you
This video literally made me cry I could completely understand everything you said. Everyone is so judgmental and I find it really hard to make friends and talk to people. On Fridays at lunch I literally sit by myself and I read in the library until lunch is over. I wanna make friends but it's like I'm worried that I'll be judged or something like something is holding me back from what I want to do. And my self esteem and confidence is at the low of lows and I just don't know what to do.
hi, i can relate to this video because i damn hate my highschool life, the endless monotony and lack of freedom eats away at me and i just want to scream at evreyone and evreything involved for not careing but i know even if i would they wouldnt change at all, i dont know if its me who is crying all of the time but highschools have evolved to be this dystopian place where evreyone is mad at eachother and hates and gossips at eachother and i despise it, i never was popular but i simply didnt exist in that place and i keep telling myself i am alone and no one will come and help me so i should help myself and its true but even so its a painfull experience that it never goes away, i feel constantly tierd and there isnt no time nor aprecciation for the things i want to do, i have to constanly fight and struggle mentally to just have time to not be tierd and expand my curiosity in places where its well recieved but i cant shrug off the this feeling of failure and judgement by others, i chose not be concerd with it but still is a thorn in my chest, i want highschool to be over with, i want to say that i havent wasted all of those years of my live in school because its not true but its still a long ass period of time for the student and alsmot their entire life by they i refer to me ersonally, if it will get better i will keep moveing forward and i will not rest until i am done but its nice to vent out these gray feelings from time to time if anyone has read this up to this point, thank you, mabye i wont notice but its a kind gesture, us students shall help eachother and not destroy our collective because thats what they want but i refuse to conform to their retarded and filthy "disciplines" for all i care they can rot in hell and i would sleep like a baby.
I was super lucky, I learned from other people's experiences and my own. I'm lucky enough to have solid people in my life who understand me and love me for who I am. I've always had super bad anxiety so hs was my time to truly be myself and have fun :))
When the deep condition sessions goes deeper than you thought😭❤ you are such a awesome person and right know you are slayin all those people! And self acceptance is a so important❤ and shit happens so yeah that sucks but please dont stop with these sessions cause these are the best!🧡
my unchecked depression that I had throughout middle and hight school unfortunately turned into a psychotic break at the end of the year. I failed some classes , was completely isolated, had no one to talk to and it took me years to recover. It's doable. I'm glad there are people like you sharing their experience, maybe this was the video I needed 10 years ago and it would have avoided a whole other series of mental health issues. I'm grateful I'm a good place now, and I finally have the courage and support most of all to face that traumatic part of my life, and understand what triggered my psychotic break, and the subsequent trauma from that.
My name is Jerry. I am an high school student. Always feeling sad in class for no reason. I can't even talk to friends or express myself in class. And it is having a great deal on me. I always feel insecure and I always have the feeling that people are talking mean thing about me, laughing at me. Thanks for your video. And I will keep trying my best to boost my self confidence.
Would you be willing to talk more about your gender dysmorphia in another video? If you're comfortable with it, it would be really interesting to learn more about your experience. 😊
Yess I'm very interested in this too and considering she's very much a tomboy I think it would be a good video explaining some of that. Especially bc I'm going through that right now and I'm even questioning my gender identity too. I also just want fashion tips tbh
I think she might be mixing up body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria. You cannot have gender dysphoria and be cis, gender dysphoria is what makes a transgender person trans.. I don’t wanna assume what she’s gone through but you cannot alleviate true gender dysphoria and still be in the body you were assigned with at birth
auberginexdreams She probably just doesn’t really relate to the extremes of being a girl and she may feel left out and confused about her gender. You can still have gender dysphoria
Marissaaa that’s not really gender though, more like gender constructs. Insecurities in femininity as a woman and feeling masculine. Yes, there is more to being trans than just wanting male or female parts, but if she didn’t feel not only insecure but the need to trade her biologically female body for a male’s, than that’s probably not gender dysphoria in my opinion. Completely would need confirmation from the person themself, though.
You absolutely can have gender dysporia without being trans. Every trans person begins in a cis body with gender dysphoria, transitioning is a solution to that, but not all do that. That's like saying you can't be depressed until you've attempted suicide. That's silly
I wish I wouldve seen this 3 years ago I’ve been though an abusive relationship too but I believe it happened for a reason it really turned me into a different person and made me grow and learn to love myself and I’m still here standing to help my friends/family and prevent them from being in the same situation I was. If you ever feel the slightest amount that you are in an abusive relationship contact a hotline or reach out to someone who loves you and you can trust! Stay safe lovelies
I'm so grateful I came across this video. I'm currently going through severe bullying and it's affecting my grades. I'm scared because I really want to go to college but I'm having a hard time balancing work and school as well as trying to cope with depression and anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms due to stress and anxiety
YALL I watched the whole thing and I literally ended my friendships this summer because they were toxic and now as a junior in hs I have no friends and I have rlly bad depression I relate to this sm and ily
This made me feel so much better about my experience. I get sad watching movies/shows with high school involved because I always feel like I missed out on it all. I never went and was always angry and sad all the time. I’m so lucky to have made it out of there. Anyone going through this - it’s such a relief once you’re out! I just still feel guilty.
i finally finished highschool. i watched this video a few times to help me and give me motivation. i was going through such a dark time. i felt so lonely. i now graduated and life has already gotten alot better. im hoping university is alot better :) thank you for this video it helped me so much.
That was the sweetest! I am a grown ass woman (mother) and try to explain these same facts to both of my teenage children. High school isn’t where it’s at. That there is so much more to life and keep good people close to your heart because they are HARD to come by. Because of my age (pre internet) I don’t think my generation suffered from the social pressures/obsessions that seem all consuming to this generation. Wishing all the crushed souls having difficulties a thorough healing. It does get better. Life is good. Know that!
this video explains me so much, i was slowly losing hope but you made me feel better. thank you. highschool ends 2 years later, freedom is near i guess :D
how was/is highschool for you? for me, it was very lonely, isolating and horrible.
I'm a freshman...so far so good
I'm in middle school, and it's pretty good but my crush literally sits near or next to me in every class 😑😑😑 *awKwaRD*
I'm in middle school and I'm always alone and I push myself away from others and I do not know why
The best and worst period of my life
My best friend backstabed me and now she acts like a fake friend
*D E E P C O N D I T I O N E R*
*D E E P E R T H O U G H T S*
LMAOOOOOO
*N O I C E*
Ya girl feels just like the past penny, thank you for the video i really needed ti hear that 💙
sofia X cosmo I read this right when she said it lol
Bruh I wish my coping mechanism was studying and getting a 4.0
lmao you can try a hobby! maybe sports, drawing, or music
Bahahaha when the video ends but the counseling continues. Thanks girl :)
Bwahaha right?! Ive been over here drinking and smoking weed like a dumbass
Ikr? I just sit and eat a bunch of food or read or do anything but study goddamn it 😂
CurlyPenny literally me ♥️♥️♥️ 3.7 tho
“I would say HELL YES,Cause it’s a million dollars “
We love a smart d e e p conditioner
😤👏🏽
Isis Rose we love a smart queen
@@PennyTovar LmFAOO
i love how youtube’s algorithm decided to put this video in everyone’s recommended’s right when school is about to start
tyvon360 ikr
Yes
exactly
tyvon360 school already started a month ago for me 💀
Ikr
"Your body is a vessel for your soul. It is not for other people's enjoyment, it is not for other people to approve of, it is not for other people to rate, it is not for other people." - Penny Tovar
Love this. 💕
YES!! I was thinking about writing it it's such a beautiful sentence ❤️
Damn
Beautiful words! 🙏🏻❤️
@@cjrodriguez22 I can’t believe you wrote this five years ago. It’s so wonderful and you know what they don’t teach it in school and they don’t teach self-defense to kids in school either.
I don’t know what was more deep the conditioner or the thoughts...
So this is why I have been having good hair days cuz curly penny liked my comment ❤️
Shock in Spanish
normal youtubers: mukbang
penny: deep conditioner deeper thoughts™
this is why i love u
Lol not everyone does mukbangs
what "normal youtubers" do mukbangs? 💀💀💀
normal youtubers don't do mukbangs
“Your body is a vessel for your soul and not for nobody else to judge “ i love that. That’s quite is going on my wall
Toriyaaah I loved when she said that too
😯♥️👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I was bullied terribly in high school...but in college/ Uni I got my confidence back due to its positive atmosphere!!!
@@ashleyhenriquez8218 I wish u all the best for your future
College sounds like heaven 😭
@@keiishine I wish tremendous success for u in all your future endeavors !!!!
Jasmine Anthony me too!! I had such negative thoughts about myself and now that I’m in university I feel so liberated and have learned to love myself and not care (or care less) about the things other people think about me
Hopefully these next few years become more positive for me
the person behind your class that sits alone at lunch, go talk to them, i swear it will make you feel and be a better person. You don’t need to be there friend but at least let them know theirs someone that thinks about them
I did this for a girl in year 6 because I always felt I 'stole' her best friend from her , she and her best friend were really close until the girl who was the best friend became a part of my friendship group and we pretty much became best friends so I tried including her and looking out for etc whenever I could for about a year until it came to our last day (of primary school) and she told me I was always the nicest person to her when everyone else made her feel invisible and she would genuinely miss me - I didn't think what I was doing did anything at the time but I was so happy to hear that and to this day it's one of the best compliments I've received :)
moral of the story: be friendly and make someone feel included , it might help them more than you think :)
Thank you for this message
thicc mamacita this is a must. wish someone did this to me in middle school
Thank you so much
How is gamora? But you shouldn’t do that on purpose to be or feel that “better person”. It’s like making points in the computer game so...
Just do nice things
You should give a TED talk
sis this WAS a ted talk
@@PennyTovar I think he meant another oone
Traumatized in spanish*
it honestly be like that
FAT mood
SH00K SHISTER *stop running in my lobby*
Hey Mr. Mosely!
*"you only get one body sis - you better start loving it now!!"* _deep_
Yea especially when i don’t have the body type others girls my age have. I’m teaching myself to love myself tho. Trust me you’ll be much happier being u!
@Tommy gibstain
That’s not my problem. I’m skinny and when I eat I don’t gain weight bc I have a fast metabolism...
Yeah I’ll start loving my body once there’s something to be proud of
Yeah. Self harm ruined my body haha
Cuz u make my earfquake same and it’s annoying because everyone calls me anorexic and crap
I’m so glad that someone else has actually been through the same thing that I did, and not just saying oH I hAvE nO fRiEnDs to be relatable. I also had no one to sit with or talk to or text at ALL and I used to go home everyday for lunch or go to the library. I felt it when you said it’s so painfully lonley. It really is. I always wanted to hang out with someone but I literally had no one to do so, and it sucks when people assume you have friends like “what do you usually do with your friends?” Or “why don’t you text a friend about it”. That’s how I spent all of grade 8 and my freshman year, I’m going into grade 10 now and I’m hoping it will be different.
emily I’m happy for you and I hope you feel good 💖.
I hang out with my friends, just sometimes I have a hard time relating to their personalities because I’m introverted and they are all extroverted.
And it hurts when u see ppl with friends😭but really try talking to other people you won’t regret it once u make amazing friends :)
emily grade 8 was so bad i had a few suicide attempts
God I'm going through the exact same thing :( I don't know how to talk to people I'm so insecure
anybody else thinks she looks like alessia cara and sounds like a mixture between cardi/alessia?
Omg yess
I AGREEEE
Girl yesssss
I most definitely can see this.
yess
I wish I could say I didn’t but I COMPLETELY relate to everything you said.. I didn’t have a single friend, I put my mom and my sister through hell (which they didn’t deserve) to the point where they felt unsafe in their own house.. self harm, being beat up at school constantly, I struggled with gender, aaaand then I dropped out of high school. and because of all the dumb shit I still to this day feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I might have a massive community/crowd around me that appreciate me and look up to me, I have good friends, I have my family, but still I just feel like an outcast, like I don’t belong, If that makes sense. Either way, I’ve come a long way and I’m 1000% happier but the shit did leave a lasting impact and I can’t wait to some day get completely over that. Cos I will Some day, I know I will heh. AnYWAYS I need to shut the fuck up, ILY and I love your t-shirt lol
Love you Lithunium! I know it can be hard, but never give up on yourself
and yaasssssss i love loz im playing botw right now it's amazing
Lithunium Snow I completely understand your struggles and I'm really proud of you for getting this far ♡
What?!?! omg two of my faves btw I loved ur recent wig transformation 😤😤
@@JJ-ec9lp ugh same and wHY DO I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE
My mom always said , it's better to have just one friend that will always be honest with you then 20 that will stab your back . And just be yourself 💖 and not everyone has to like you and u don't have to care if they don't .
Dwight K. Shrute yup mom told me that too and its so true like i would rather have one best friend that i can trust
I’m 17 now in senior year still sitting alone at lunch. I feel like I’ve just gotten numb to being lonely and not having anyone to talk to. I feel like the only thing keeping me sane is going to the gym and working on myself even though I hate everything about me. But what hit me the most in this video is when she talked about wishing to just be like other people being “normal”
That "friends with popular people" thing really resonated with me,, idk why I'm so scared of reaching out to the "popular kids" even when I know that they aren't that different from me...😭
Seriously.. popular kids or whatever are nothing. Theres nothing to be afraid of. Yes some people including me, used to get kinda nervous when we were abt to talk to them but pft its nothing srsly. Hope the best for your new school year💕
We love a counsellor galllll
And I'm complaining about to much homework
obviously u don’t have enough. It’s “too” *
Specified • yo same
Mel ! You*
Mel ! Yo leave her/him alone🙄
I sent this to my daughter who is 15. I really loved this video. You are inspiring and you have a great perspective on life.
Yo, this is freaky. You took me back to a very dark time in my life, incredibly dark, I was straight up evil, and broken. God is so faithful to pull us out of the pit. I'm alive because He is 🙌🏽
Amen 🙏🏽
Amen ❤️
I love your profile picture
_that’s right. Amen_
God's dead.
Middle and high school were the worst years of my life. This woman speaking facts! Your best years are in college or if you do not go to college, your adult life will be better than in a school setting. I know some people may disagree, but majority of the people in the comments have it rough too like me😪💯
My late middle school years and my early high school years 💀 i was already skipping school sooo much. And because I didn’t go to school I didn’t stay caught up, and because I didn’t stay caught up I didn’t get the best grades, i didn’t have friends, i have social anxiety so I was too scared to talk to anybody about anything. Man, I’ve just started the new school year and I am already done. I try too and my mom doesn’t understand what I’m going through which makes it hard because it’s caused some fights.
Sorry… this is like two years later and I am just ranting to you about my own problems 😑
@@ѕкує It’s totally fine, Skye. I talked about my experiences with male friendships recently in a video, so seeing your comment is crazy to me. By the way, the video came out a month ago and I talked about middle school/high school friendships with boys (plus more)😭💯
Same ❤
About a week ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression and lately my life has been horrible my family life is a huge reason for how I am feeling and after I watched this video it made me realize that after I graduate high school I can move on and start over and this really really helped me I’m so proud of you for all that you have overcome I know how it feels and I’m just hoping I can do what you did thank you so much❤️
Cierra Roberts get well soon! im so sorry if ur life sucks right now, but you’re right! it will get better! keep going, i believe in you! ❤️
Thank you so much Hanna Saunders
I have been through it
Life does get better
Everything in the life happens for a reason and people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime
I can promise right here on this comment section it will get better, this is just a small part of your life it will pass, so concentrate in being the best version of yourself to have a better life, the life you deserve 💕
High-school makes me feel claustrophobic.
Whizzer Browns Going Down same
Same
Yeah..
Same.
I cant breathe
I completely understand wym. In high school I was an extreme loner. I would always let my anxiety/depressive thoughts hold me back from living my life happily. I did have a small group of friends but even then we seldom spent time outside of school. I utterly felt like I was part of nothing and the only thing I could do was focus on my grades like you said. As for my family, I was also really nasty towards them. I'm glad though that I could heal as well and move on from that point. College is a bit of a different story and I still struggle but I'm staying optimistic :)
Hey Hannah. I have a question for you. Did you grow up with a FATHER? if yes how was it like. Looking forward to your answer.
@@heavensway-ken.1226 I’m sorry this isn’t my question but what does that have to do with this lol
I'm currently in an exact situation that you've described above, any advice?
@@adeliazulaikhaazmi I got some advice for you:
Don’t waste time on social media (that’s literally the root cause that causes all these mental disorders nowadays)
Focus on your studies.
Focus on yourself
Surround yourself with people that like you and care for you the way you are
Don’t push out positive people from your life only to just let negative people in
Embrace your insecurities and weaknesses. Don’t try to be popular or cool. Be you.
@@metalrockstarizer89 What if there aren't any people like me
my middle school was horrible. i had suffered through severe social anxiety. i had it since elementary but had friends from kindergarten. in middle school all my friends made new friends. they would say, “you can be friend with both of us!” but no..i couldn’t. it’s easy for, and at the beginning me and my friends talked and agreed “i’m not gonna make friends” and maybe they were joking. but i wasn’t. i had no friends. i hated it. i cried everyday. a good day, was a bad day, just..better.
This girl is absolutely stunning omfg
AM I LATE OR DID SHE JUST CHANGE HER CHANNEL NAME FROM CURLYPENNY TO PENNY TOVAR?? 💔
we finally learnt penny's last name :0
Omg nooo
I just noticed yesterday!
She’s had a lot going on, probably making some changes for herself
she actually made a community post abt this! she just feels like theres more to her channel than just hair
my senior quote is gonna be "dont treat me like a infant brainless platypus @5:09"
i'm gonna use this next year 🤣😂
Ima use this quote this year since I graduate highschool this year lol
Advice to freshman: Make as many friends as you can and stick with a positive attitude. It only benefits you later because if you don’t youll have a higher chance of feeling alone and it’s hard to bring grades up once they’re already down. *the key is stay ahead while you can* :)
1GirlOnFire1 well, I was the type of person that rarely fit in. and I'd rather make real friends instead of a lot of fake ones. sorry but this isn't great advice
Madelyne I’m not saying make “fake friends” I’m just saying put yourself out there and go for it. As an introverted person I regret not doing that and I really don’t have any friends because of it. In your freshman year is where everyone begins meeting eachother so it’s important to not become reclusive and expect everyone to try and be your friend when you just sit in the background, that’s all I’m saying :)
i had a lot of friends freshman year and lol i don’t have many now , they all moved or we fell out badly.
kinda hard to come out your comfort zone when u have really bad anxiety and get panic attacks quite often
yutasoftbot yeah I know, that’s how I am
When she said “Your body is a vessel for your soul” I felt that 😔
Me too, I almost started crying (I have body dysmorphia and am currently recovering from it)
ɢᴏᴏɢʟᴇ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀ'ꜱ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ good luck sister! Really hope you feel amazing after your journey!!!!
@@teehee5700 Thanks ❤
Gurl. GURL. I’m on the verge of tears .because. YES.
Maryjoe Aguillon same
yep.. junior/senior year got real lonely
high school was TERRIBLE. academically i was doing fine but socially i was extremely depressed and was constantly picked on for the dumbest stuff (my race, my loud af personality). it got to the point where i just stopped talking all together and just kept to myself and my 2 friends (who i wouldn't trade for that huge group of friends you see at lunch). it wasnt until college where i found who i really was and found people who brought the best out of me, who support me, and want nothing but success for me. i can also confirm that *it does get better* ❤️
Penny is so right. College is hella better than high school.
It's cool that she shared her advice. Popularity doesn't mean shit !
My experience in high school was hell. completely hell ! The fact that I was in a abusive relationship for all 4 years made me hate myself for who I was I always felt wrong for doing what I did. I felt like I didnt fit in because I was either too quiet, not popular, not smart, or not fun to be around . For the some what of friends I did have I pushed away. I was always bullied by the mean girls because I didnt dress up because I ddint have what they did. Till finally senior year is what topped it for me . I got pregnant senior year by my abusive boyfriend. my mom found out and completely shut me out and told me I wasnt her daughter anymore my real dad wasnt in the picture and my step dad was completely disappointed with me . At the time and became the high school joke . Everyone made fun of me for being that girl who got pregnant in high school for being the dumb one to stay in a abusive relationship. I ran away and never spoke to my family was homeless bouncing from house to house. never went to the doctors to check how my child was doing. I hated everyone and my self let alone bring a child into this ass of a world. I had become so depressed during my pregnancy I tried killing myself 2 times. I hated who I had become what I've done and why I was even alive to see another day if I was such a disappointment. Until I had a eye opening experience.
EMT sent me to the hospital after a emergency with self harm.
That's where it ended i was done and I heard it . I got to hear my child heart beat and forgot about everything my pain my suffering.. everything was gone .
My heart filled with joy and never have I loved myself more then I do now after that freak accident. I told my self Everyone was wrong that I was going to show them they were wrong I took my ass back to high school graduated in 3 weeks of being back got my diploma and walked the stage . I started college at acc in austin and got a great job with a tech company because of my college career path. My child came out healthy and is about to be 1 years old in a couple of days . I ended up fixing my relationship with my step dad and till this day he supports me and my son unconditionally he was there for me in the hospital when no one else was saw me walk the stage and do everything on my own. My mom never came back into my life but I still love her . In the end I turned out to be my best so trust !!! Everything does get better !!!!
Gaby Terrazas that’s amazing that you’ve come this far! I don’t know you but I’m proud and inspired. I wish you the best of luck in life and your relationships!
Omg I just literally cried while reading this. I wish you and your child the best
im so proud of you!!
Yessss girl im so proud!!!!!💖💖 keep it up your doing great love💙
Thank you all of you!
other people: i have no friends **cries non-existent tears**
me: *spots them laughing with friends*
penny: *explaining*
me: **actually crying**
Bro everyone hates me in school
@daughter of God that's the reason I avoid eating lunch in school and then devour the whole fridge after I get home.
@@MiChiSe 😭😭😭 No me. Everyone hates me even the air
I’ve always had trouble making friends and talking to people. I’m just the type of person to be really quiet around people I don’t know. In middle school I had a group of friends. I had to go to a different high school then them. But we got into a fight and no one would talk to me. I am a junior now and I’ve been sitting in the bathroom stall during lunch ever since the beginning of freshman year. I have just gotten used to it. I Used to cry a lot and I still do. I’ve just never really gotten over it. I’ve never put in effort to make friends. I’m just too shy and boring. I don’t Know how to start a conversation or keep it going. I’ve just been trying to get through high school. And honestly I don’t want friends. I Realized that through my whole life all they ever do is leave me. At the same time I feel like I ruined my whole life.
It’s not ur fault, you need to know ur worth and not let any one tell u different. Sis I’m in the exact same boat as u n the only thing we can do is pray for each other because it will get better ;)
i really hope you are doing better and i relate to you SO MUCH that you have no idea. because i feel the exact same :(
I feel lyou’re pain I’m going through the same thing
Wow the part about being shy and boring hits hard because that's what I am and honestly it's tough because i started sophomore year in new school.. no friends.
@@althea9909 same im not in a new school but i don’t have lunch with any of my friends and i’m scared of losing them so i never feel happy in the morning before school
I felt almost exactly like this.but in middle school.i felt soooo alone. I had no one to sit with at lunch no one to partner up with. Heck I would sit in the bathroom at lunch beacuse I did not want to be be seen alone by all the other “cool/popular” kids.i was super insecure about my looks that I would not even look at someone in the eye for more than 5 seconds beacuse I was afraid that they would notice my features. I felt everyday would get worse and I always ask myself what is wrong with me? Why does no one like me? What do I have go through this? Honestly when I would see all of my so called friends hanging out and have fun I would feel so sad and defeated. Almost every night I would go home and cry at night. During school sometimes I would tear up a bit but I would not let it slip.i would always smile when someone would talk to me beacuse I did not want them to now I was sad and think something was up.literaly the smallest things like a friend I have not seen for a while smiled at me would make my day.thank you penny for sharing this. It makes me feel better that other people had gone through the exact same thing as me. Anyway thanks for listening to my ted talk. X
Same i went through this till middle school to the point where my dad would get angry and ask me if I need to see a doctor because i was just sad n gloomy all the time.
How old are you now and did it ever get better cause I’m having the same experience just I’m in my 2nd year of high school
I was really lonely in middle school too. I'd sit in class where everyone is talking to everyone else and I'd be quiet at my desk pretending to do work. I'd sit at the lunch table and none of my friends would talk to me. Then I went to a different table of friends. And they didn't talk to me either. It was really hard to not start crying. I spent those 2 years jumping around friend groups trying to find out where I belong. It's my 3rd year in high school now and I've finally found a group of great and dependable friends.
I would be friends with all of you guys 😭
This was me in in year 7 and 8, holy shit. I'm going into year 10 now (summer holidays), and I think I'm getting better.
Baby steps guys, take it at a realistic pace, and *try* to stay optimistic.
I'm so happy that you still have the Zelda shirt ♥️
Love the shirt too lol.
this was actually really inspiring. to be honest I'm just waiting for high school to end and I'm REALLY hopeful for college, like actually praying
sameee gl!
Same
i still have three years left :(
Kinda late to watch this video, but I just came across it and I literally cried. I am a sophmore in HS, and I am recovering from depression, and have had history of self-harm, anxiety, and severe selfhate. I literally listen to your story, and I think its literally me. I cried so much because I actually have so similar stories. I had an abusive boyfriend, when I was recovering and in treatment for depression, that took me to various suicide attempts. I also come from an incredibly amazing family, I have both of my parents and brother living with me and they are so suportive. I had no friends because I just cut them off, and as ironic as it sounds, my only source of confidence or support was and has been a teacher. I am so inspired by your story and I really felt identified. I love you so much and I really apreciate you sharing. Thank you so much x
Hope you are doing ok but listen. When I get sad or depressed sometimes I just think to myself why would I be sad. There is a whole universe out there with different types of intellectual life and landscapes and Im over here worrying about dumb shit. To tell you the truth we dont matter and nothing matters. We are just a grain of sand in the infinite universe. So there is no reason to be sad. Be happy 😀💪🤗
Best advice : don’t let anybody take advantage of you and walk all over you , and DONT I repeat DONT TELL ANYBODY YOUR SECRETS
I'm in a place where i would like my secrets to get out to just something happen in my life. it's a really toxic mindset but I'm not in a good place right now
Thank you so much
Lol, told someone my secrets and it’s the worse decision I’ve ever made in my life. Yeah, it’s better to be along than be friends with someone who will backstab you in the end. Sometimes people truly won’t change.
Yeah too late I told my friends my darkest secrets and turns out they suck so
@@gravesilk322 it’s okay , learn to take the lesson and move on ❤️
Penny
Great video as usual! As a freshman high school was ok, but after that year things were better! Anyone worried about high school, don't stress about it you will be your own worse nightmare. Just enjoy it and learn because before you know it be over. Enjoy those years 🤗 Everyone have a blessed rest of the week 😇
Boi I’ve never clicked so fast.
Same
😤🙏🏽
Praying 4 your cousin RIP angel 💜
Girl you are so real...
I literally relate to sitting alone in the library and dedicating your life to studying is literally me at the moment
And now ?
Tell us about your job as a nurse
I’m 14 and this is 100% relatable, I have only just started making friends again after about three years and I am beginning to come out of this negative cycle. I also had depression, anxiety and eating disorders. There was nothing I would necessarily recommend, as therapy and anxiety/depression groups never worked for me, however (this is gonna sound so weird) vitamins really helped me to become happier. I take one/two drops of CBD oil in the morning and evening, as well as B-vitamin supplements (in the morning) and L-tryptophan at night. Please try this honestly and remember, you are loved xxxxxx
I hope ur doing good! Its been 3 years lol
Hey how are you doing now? Everything alright
lmao this persson is 2 years older than me if they were 14 3 years ago
I can kinda relate to your story. When I was a kid, I always had friends and people to talk to. Freshmen year was okay, because I had my friends. But I started to notice that I didn’t really could relate anymore. And that’s ok because sometimes people grow apart.
Sophomore year was terrible. I decided to stay a little away from those “friends” because I felt they didn’t like me anymore. I was too scared to find new ones. I felt I was not good enough and stupid and that nobody wanted to be my friend. That year was pretty lonely. I sometimes sat with one of my old friends during lunch, but it was weird for me. I isolated myself and started hating myself.
Now I’m in junior year, and I try to focus on my schoolwork. I still hate myself but I try not to. I sit alone and distract myself by TH-cam, Reddit and reading books. It’s sad that the library isn’t open during the lunch break, because now everyone will see me sitting alone and judging me. I try to say to myself that I don’t need friends and that it’s fun by myself. It works sometimes. Most of the time not. This year I’m trying to stop hating myself, so I can be happy. It isn’t really working yet, but I will get there, I hope. In the meantime I’m not making any friends irl, because I’m afraid of people. I never say anything in school.
Okay that was a pretty long story. Loved the video m. Thanks a lot. I cried multiple times. ❤️ have a nice day everybody
Omg girl be out there make new friends atleast try. Like she said find you peps you’ll find someone!
Hey you wanna be internet buddies?
Nina Stojanovic yeah sure
Nina Stojanovic I wanna be friendssss
Nina Stojanovic add me on snap : Stevie.hubbard
Watching this literally made me feel better. Mental health is seriously not taken serious by people until they GO THROUGH IT. I literally went through the exact same thing. Anxiety, Anger, Depression. It was like I was in a hole and dirt was adding into it. I felt like there was no way out of that hole. I literally had no idea how to cope with it. I truly understand you when you said you felt alone even though you weren’t. I was mad at everyone because I felt like they weren’t understanding me but it was that mental block.
I agree honey, I agree so wholeheartedly! High school was a DARK time and now I’m in my 2nd year of community college and I feel so much better. Also, I’ve learned and grown - like you said - “learned better coping mechanisms.” How to deal with anger and those emotions that used to cause me to ruin the relationships with those I loved and cared for the most. If anyone in high school is reading this, know that it is 100% true, IT DOES GET BETTER. I used to wonder if I was going to feel that way forever or be surrounded by ignorant people forever. But believe me, High school will be over sooner than later. It will end eventually, and you’ll be off to the next part of your life. She is right, it does get better. Hang in there you guys and girls
I watch this every time I’m struggling because it truly speaks to me on a true true level...❤️💖
We’re the same person. I didn’t know it was possible for me to relate this much to someone. The self hate, the studying, the depression, the anger, the OCD, all of it. My living situation was a bit complicated (no abuse lol, they’re good people). My coping mechanism was studying, except I burnt out in senior year pretty bad, and ended up getting lower grades than people who did way less than me, the. I hated myself even more which made me burn out even more, and it got worse and worse and my grades plummeted which made the whole cycle of hate for myself even worse. It was a bad time
I just graduated highschool and I just hope university will be better. This was the worst time of my life and I didn’t know I’d relate to someone this much.
I am in Highschool right now and all I can say, it’s horrible. It all started with a rumor which wasn’t true at all now everyone in school including the teachers hate me, I try to make friends but instead they just push me down the stairs… I just can’t wait to go to college and make this all stop, recess is the WORST
Forget about them past is past focus more on studies you can do it
Bestie it's the same for me too
@@Maddie-je8ji i hope you okay
I've been down that road with lying rumors when I was in high school smh.
Because of covid, I wasn’t able to make strong connections with people during zoom classes, therefore none of them were considered friends. I started sophomore year three days ago except I moved schools. Everyone in school already knows each other. I don’t. I felt so bad about myself because no one came up and talked to me. I tried to make small convos with others, but none of them seemed that interested. I cried for 4 hrs in my room after the first day of school. I had to straight up lie and tell my parents that the first day was good :/. So yeah. I really wish I was able to go in person my freshman year. But again, it wasn’t an option. F in chat
Im crying right now for the same reasons lol
I’m a sophomore too and although I go to the same school , I feel like I don’t know them anymore and if I get along with them I’m not a friend that’s priority yk. It’s ok. We are in this together
I feel the exact same way. Well, tmrw is my first day of school (sophomore) I’m going to try to keep an open mind. By the way, if you ever need somebody to talk to I’m here
I’m a junior and this happened to me today :/ and I’m at a new school yoo
Wow that's literally me. Online classes all through freshamn year... no friends. Started sophomore year 3 days ago in new school and every new kid that joined already befriended the whole class while I'm here pretending to be busy in my phone and feeling like crap because no one seems to be really interested in talking with me. I don't know what to do because 3 more years of HS and I already feel lonely af
It is so relieving to know someone else went through exactly what I've been through, because everyone else looked like they had their life together and were genuinely enjoying it
*“Like in high school they treat you like a infant brainless platypus” yes that will be senior quote.*
Holding back tears when you talk about your depression and how it changed you. Such a crazy battle. Díos te bendiga💞💞
SIS this is me, I'd literally save homework for lunch so I could have something to do in the library
thank u!!!!! I really needed this because i just have really crappy friends that i feel obligated to stay with . I feel so terrible and their negativity just eats away at me and it’s making me miserable..i really needed this bc they were ruining my peace of mind and i needed to let this out but thank you for making this!!(it’s been 6 years but still!!!)
I feel you. I’ve been getting left out in one of my classes and it makes me feel like crap ngl. Just remember this is all temporary and you’re going to have better days soon. I believe we’re going to be okay. ❤️🩹
Sometimes depression has no reasoning. We just have to be stronger and let ourselves feel the emotions not try to escape them. I’m glad you’re in a better headspace now and those days are wayyy over. Bigger better things now!!!
I’m still in high school. And so far it is horrible :( and notifications squad ❤️
you got this
it's a step everyone goes through, you'll be ok 😉
hey are u done with your highschool sis?
@@bilov7991 Hey, yes I’ve made it out :)
(can’t believe I posted that comment so long ago and someone recently responded to it lol)
Thank you for mentioning the fact that your brain is still developing when you're in your teens. If it helps anyone else to know this, your brain isn't finished cooking until your mid 20s, it's a biological fact. So it's no wonder your brain can make you feel like shit when you're in a high-tension, judge-y environment like high school. I was depressed for about a third of my high school experience and looking back, I wish I had known more about why I felt the way I did. At the time, I couldn't understand that it was a temporary problem. I was lucky because my brain sorted itself out eventually.
Søs Frandsen don’t forget about the hormones. Live and learn . Young and dumb , older and wiser .
Im in 10th grade, ive been doing online school for the past year and a bit and honestly Im struggling, I have no friends atall, I lost all my friends because of lack of communication. Im honestly going through the hardest time and I feel like I have noone to talk to. Every thing has been feeling so much worse lately because my 16th birthday is coming up and I dont want to celebrate it because I have noone to celebrate with and I always looked forward to having a "sweet 16" when i was a little girl so the fact that I can't have one has been weighing down on me ontop of everything else. Ive thrown myself into school work and doing art in my freetime wich helps me cope but whenever I'm not doing that i just feel extremely sad and lonely, I cant help but feel like my teen years are being wasted because im constantly at home. This video made me feel a little better and its comforting to hear someone else talk about being lonely and say that it will get better tho
I also lost my friends, and i always have nothing to do on lunch/break and it drains me
Same with me here. I'm 8th grade and I'm extremly lonely. The only times I talk with people are the bullies who bully me. I'm facing a lot of problems with my family because of an accident that happened to my 2 year old brother. Now my mother doesn't live with us anymore instead he's living in a very dark and old worn out apartment where my grandfather lived. I can't even talk with my family much. That feels so sad and dark.
...How's it going now?
I had friends in high school and I still felt like I did not fit in anywhere. College has NOT been any better for me; instead I got depression, anxiety and burnout.
I only have 2 years left and I will never return to an academic environment again. I am so much happier working and spending time with those who love me. I don't want to return to see every other College student with their friend group experiencing the best time of their life while I am dying inside.
I don't even want that College experience anymore. I just want to work and improve my art. I want to create artistic masterpieces.
0:32...U SPEAK THE TRUTH I LIKE THAT...THANK U FOR BEING RELATABLE
Ok I just found you and have watched several of your videos. This one is my favorite so far. I seriously love you and your attitude toward life, you got my subscription!!
Also: high school was a vivid Hellscape, lonely af and depressing, thank God it only lasted 4 years otherwise I wouldn't be here.
You’re a great human being. The way you’re using this platform is admirable! You’re also super funny without trying ☺️.
Crying at the end of watching this is a different kind of pain. I'm 15 and moved to an all-girls school last year. Since then, I've been letting this dark side control me. I have unintentionally told lies that have torn apart frienships, and because of my insane lack of confidence ( I've had this from the start) I can barely sit in a room without feeling nervous. Thoughts such as "Who is looking at me?" "Am I not doing the right thing?" What if people are judging me? This attidude made me concious about the features on my body that I have. Not gonna lie, I was born with a 'perfect hourglass figure'. Not to mention, as soon as I hit puberty my eyes became more beautiful and I started to look attractive and appealing to the eye, playing both face value and bpdy value cards at one time. Some people dreamed to have an appearance like me, and doubted me when I told them that "Trust me, it's not all as good as it seems". Boys staring at me only added to myalready consious mindset. Due to Covid, I would say I lost all the good in. my personality. I went from loving, kind, natrually caring and intelligent to the exact opposite. I was rude to my family members and even made my mother cry infront of me and her telling me to improve my behavior. This one negatvie voice formed in my head, making me loose track of my responsibilities such as studying for an enterance exam to get into a better school. I was often told that I looked confused and lost, which was true. I felt myself growing more intrigued and diving into my thoughts more, unnecessarily overthinking things and because of this, I think I ruined all the chances I had.
I had alot of worst moments in my school life.when I was in 10th class.I used to be silent,simple girl with two ponytails,I only reply when someone talk to me that's it.most of my classmates were my coachingmates as well.Once in my coaching a boy(classmate) accidentally threw a jug of water on me.i don't think it was accidentally (he said cooler se current laga isliye girgaya) one of my friend which was my best friend in past not at that time was laughing at me and saying (you bathed) hahaha..
She said everyone in the school abt this everyone was laughing at me no one was with my side
I didn't share this incident with anyone not even my parents
Then after that many more incidents happened
Like… 3 of my classmates punctured my cycle tyre.there was no cycle mechanic on my way that's why I had to drive with the punctured tyres
That's why I started to stay alone in my school and coaching
In coaching there was we 9 students only 3 girls (me included) and 6 boys.I used to go on time in coaching always. Once I went early 5 boys were present teacher didn't come yet… I went and sit on sofa(we used to sit there) they started using abusive language (not directly saying to me ) but indirectly they mean that the used b**bs and making fun of mensuration etc and finally teacher came. I got relief
then I started to go late on coaching. But sometimes this incident happened with me ( when teacher was late)
Once in school one of my friend clean her inked hands with my back. My uniform was spoiled. And It was mid session of school (it was secondary school also my school was ending ) my parents refused me to buy new uniform
My parents asked Who Did This.I said My friend my father complained in my school abt that next day.and on that I silently cried in prayer I don't know why.I was hurt. one of my teacher saw me and asked what happened I said nothing… My teacher told this to my father ( when he went to complain)…I was more hurt to know that my father knew I cried… My father asked me why I cried. I lied that I didn't cried my friend was crying teacher thought its me . once again everyone laughed at me bcoz of my uniform
And many more incidents happened can't share all. I already wrote too much
Thank you for sharing this. Realize that at least, you are stronger than me by opening up to your experiences and sharing it.. including sharing it to the many others who had similar experiences from just nasty immature people who should one day look back at the things they did and hopefully regret it dearly. But you are not alone.
Hi you must have graduated from school now right? Are u in college now? The others treated me differently too..but I went to a girls only school
i really needed this right now, i’m a senior and literally just went through the most horrible situation with the most manipulative boy and i was just watching youtube when this popped up thank you
I feel alone right now as my sophomore year. Glad to know you’ve gotten better. Gives me hopes. Love you and your hair penny ❤️
This video literally made me cry I could completely understand everything you said. Everyone is so judgmental and I find it really hard to make friends and talk to people. On Fridays at lunch I literally sit by myself and I read in the library until lunch is over. I wanna make friends but it's like I'm worried that I'll be judged or something like something is holding me back from what I want to do. And my self esteem and confidence is at the low of lows and I just don't know what to do.
“I would say hell...yes because it’s a million dollars” ohh how I love you 😂❤️
hi, i can relate to this video because i damn hate my highschool life, the endless monotony and lack of freedom eats away at me and i just want to scream at evreyone and evreything involved for not careing but i know even if i would they wouldnt change at all, i dont know if its me who is crying all of the time but highschools have evolved to be this dystopian place where evreyone is mad at eachother and hates and gossips at eachother and i despise it, i never was popular but i simply didnt exist in that place and i keep telling myself i am alone and no one will come and help me so i should help myself and its true but even so its a painfull experience that it never goes away, i feel constantly tierd and there isnt no time nor aprecciation for the things i want to do, i have to constanly fight and struggle mentally to just have time to not be tierd and expand my curiosity in places where its well recieved but i cant shrug off the this feeling of failure and judgement by others, i chose not be concerd with it but still is a thorn in my chest, i want highschool to be over with, i want to say that i havent wasted all of those years of my live in school because its not true but its still a long ass period of time for the student and alsmot their entire life by they i refer to me ersonally, if it will get better i will keep moveing forward and i will not rest until i am done but its nice to vent out these gray feelings from time to time if anyone has read this up to this point, thank you, mabye i wont notice but its a kind gesture, us students shall help eachother and not destroy our collective because thats what they want but i refuse to conform to their retarded and filthy "disciplines" for all i care they can rot in hell and i would sleep like a baby.
I'll just say thank you so much! this is giving me hope... just 2 more years then I'll pass out from high school
I was super lucky, I learned from other people's experiences and my own. I'm lucky enough to have solid people in my life who understand me and love me for who I am. I've always had super bad anxiety so hs was my time to truly be myself and have fun :))
When the deep condition sessions goes deeper than you thought😭❤ you are such a awesome person and right know you are slayin all those people! And self acceptance is a so important❤ and shit happens so yeah that sucks but please dont stop with these sessions cause these are the best!🧡
my unchecked depression that I had throughout middle and hight school unfortunately turned into a psychotic break at the end of the year. I failed some classes , was completely isolated, had no one to talk to and it took me years to recover. It's doable. I'm glad there are people like you sharing their experience, maybe this was the video I needed 10 years ago and it would have avoided a whole other series of mental health issues. I'm grateful I'm a good place now, and I finally have the courage and support most of all to face that traumatic part of my life, and understand what triggered my psychotic break, and the subsequent trauma from that.
My name is Jerry. I am an high school student. Always feeling sad in class for no reason. I can't even talk to friends or express myself in class. And it is having a great deal on me. I always feel insecure and I always have the feeling that people are talking mean thing about me, laughing at me. Thanks for your video. And I will keep trying my best to boost my self confidence.
I been binge watching her videos for a couple of days now and I love how raw she is
Please make more deep videos I love them your are the most sincere and honest person I've met! I enjoy hearing you talk so much.
Would you be willing to talk more about your gender dysmorphia in another video? If you're comfortable with it, it would be really interesting to learn more about your experience. 😊
Yess I'm very interested in this too and considering she's very much a tomboy I think it would be a good video explaining some of that. Especially bc I'm going through that right now and I'm even questioning my gender identity too. I also just want fashion tips tbh
I think she might be mixing up body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria. You cannot have gender dysphoria and be cis, gender dysphoria is what makes a transgender person trans.. I don’t wanna assume what she’s gone through but you cannot alleviate true gender dysphoria and still be in the body you were assigned with at birth
auberginexdreams She probably just doesn’t really relate to the extremes of being a girl and she may feel left out and confused about her gender. You can still have gender dysphoria
Marissaaa that’s not really gender though, more like gender constructs. Insecurities in femininity as a woman and feeling masculine. Yes, there is more to being trans than just wanting male or female parts, but if she didn’t feel not only insecure but the need to trade her biologically female body for a male’s, than that’s probably not gender dysphoria in my opinion. Completely would need confirmation from the person themself, though.
You absolutely can have gender dysporia without being trans. Every trans person begins in a cis body with gender dysphoria, transitioning is a solution to that, but not all do that. That's like saying you can't be depressed until you've attempted suicide. That's silly
I wish I wouldve seen this 3 years ago I’ve been though an abusive relationship too but I believe it happened for a reason it really turned me into a different person and made me grow and learn to love myself and I’m still here standing to help my friends/family and prevent them from being in the same situation I was. If you ever feel the slightest amount that you are in an abusive relationship contact a hotline or reach out to someone who loves you and you can trust! Stay safe lovelies
"It gets better" those are the words I need to hear
I'm so grateful I came across this video. I'm currently going through severe bullying and it's affecting my grades. I'm scared because I really want to go to college but I'm having a hard time balancing work and school as well as trying to cope with depression and anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms due to stress and anxiety
YALL I watched the whole thing and I literally ended my friendships this summer because they were toxic and now as a junior in hs I have no friends and I have rlly bad depression I relate to this sm and ily
how are you doing now?
1:02 I BE SEEIN THAT ˢˡᶦᵖ
Someone needs to collab with penny and make a deep conditioner called deep thoughts
i watch this video every couple months. im in my last year and im struggling sm but this video always gives me hope. thank you
This made me feel so much better about my experience. I get sad watching movies/shows with high school involved because I always feel like I missed out on it all. I never went and was always angry and sad all the time. I’m so lucky to have made it out of there. Anyone going through this - it’s such a relief once you’re out! I just still feel guilty.
How would ppl not be friends with u. You have a great personality
who needs friends honestly. before i make friends i wanna have self confidence and love myself first
@@vxnessa3866 pff lol
i finally finished highschool. i watched this video a few times to help me and give me motivation. i was going through such a dark time. i felt so lonely. i now graduated and life has already gotten alot better. im hoping university is alot better :) thank you for this video it helped me so much.
you sound exactly like cardi b!! you're gorgeous btw
Facts
OMG YESSSSS EVEN THE ACCENT
I was waiting for this comment
That was the sweetest! I am a grown ass woman (mother) and try to explain these same facts to both of my teenage children. High school isn’t where it’s at. That there is so much more to life and keep good people close to your heart because they are HARD to come by. Because of my age (pre internet) I don’t think my generation suffered from the social pressures/obsessions that seem all consuming to this generation. Wishing all the crushed souls having difficulties a thorough healing. It does get better. Life is good. Know that!
this video explains me so much, i was slowly losing hope but you made me feel better. thank you. highschool ends 2 years later, freedom is near i guess :D