I procrastinate with everything from work projects, returning phone calls, to getting in the shower. I wait until the absolute last minute until it is “crunch time” and then I get a burst of energy and am finally able to function. I’ve had this issue my entire life and was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but have not had my appointment yet to discuss medication.
This is a must-listen video. I watch every expert lecture/interview I come across on ADHD and this man speaks on some topics that aren't talked about nearly enough.
I’ve been thinking along the same lines. Thomas E Brown is brilliant. I’m very new to learning about ADHD after being diagnosed by a clinical psychiatrist nearly 2 years ago. Only started medication last week, after a long period of denial. I can’t stop watching these videos. I’ve learned a lot.
Yes I agree that in ADHD emotional dysfunction and effects of these are not very considered and understood. My son has emotional dysfunction and this video is eye opening and lots of Aha moments for me. I know now why he is doing what he is doing
My ADHD has remained even into my adulthood. I am 65. I have a tough time daily but I learned all on my own to recognize what happens to me inside and I constantly work to adjust my thoughts and feelings. I have been "melancholy" since boyhood. I saw many Doctors from childhood on and finally a new GP said I have ADHD. He put me on meds which worked well but I had side effects. He told me to start drinking Cola twice a day. I have been on the cola for 5 years and feel great but I still have emotional issues, especially when I get abused. Yes, as a senior citizen, I get abused and bullied by family and even grocery shopping. I have a very high IQ but am socially dumb. I do the best I can and I learned to love me, and respect me. These two factors have changed everything. I love me, I respect me, and I love you too!
I have 3 deadlines in the next 3 days and here I am listening to this very interesting and relatable video on ADHD. It definitely is way more interesting and easier than the work I have to get done. I suspect I might have ADHD because procrastination like this is what I do all the time. Cant get started as much as I wish I did.
A diagnosis is not the end-all be-all. It's helpful for some, but if you know in your heart that ADHD explains your struggles, then that's all that matters. Just my opinion. That being said, a diagnosis does come with options like treatment with medication, possible assistance in school (if you're a student) etc. This video provided a lot of relief for me too. :)
In regard to the ADHD vs depression - I was diagnosed with depression since I was a teen. All the way to adulthood. It wasn't until a psychologist took the time to look outside of the depression to realize, it was actually ADHD causing it. Once I was properly diagnosed, got on medication, my depression was corrected. Emotions play a huge part in ADHD. If I don't have my medication, I know to expect those depression feelings to return. However, now I know what to expect and how to properly handle it. TL;DR - great video. Excellent talk. Well done.
I'm so grateful for this. In my 50s and relatively new to TH-cam. Channels like this and you lovely people in the comments are an enormous help. THANK YOU each and every one of you. 🙏🙂❤️
The thing I struggle with is, so many of these symptoms have been my entire life so they seem normal. Like, inability to sustain interest in things over long term? Yea, thats just life, right? Or is it? Hard time focussing on boring tasks... doesn't everyone? Or do they? I just don't know any other experience but my own, so its impossible for me to really know what "normal" is.
I feel the exact same way. I think I’ve come up with a good idea to fix this if you’d be willing to give it a go just for fun... get one of those ADHD tests and print em out or something or do it however you like but do one for yourself and get two people you know who you think are getting on with life just fine to do the ADHD test as well and see what the results are (Maybe try and hide that it’s an ADHD test? Or don’t it’s up to you). You’ll hopefully see clear evidence of someone who isn’t struggling with a cognitive problem and someone who is. I think you’ve adapted to your problem but only as much as you could because it’s still a problem you regularly notice and you want answers. Go get answers by having a fun test with people to affirm your suspicion of ADHD. Obviously it’s not an official psychiatrist confirmed diagnosis and all that jazz but it might help push you towards acknowledging you need help to make your life easier and to get meds possibly to struggle less and get on par with people who aren’t having this issue. What’s funny is I’d like to try this what I’ve said but I keep putting it off 😂 haha “I’ll do it eventually” 🙄😂
One thing I heard on another video that really resonated with me was that these are things that are common to most people, but with those with ADHD it’s to the point where it interferes with your daily life, goals, etc. Hope this helps some
Don’t worry about what “normal” is. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone but your previous self, and work on your problems- to become an even better future self. Add is a gift and a curse- some weaknesses and many strengths as well.
It's an issue if it interferes with your whole life, starting in childhood. For example did report cards mention that you were disruptive in class. Are you often late to work and in trouble for that or often late to pay bills. Do you always procrastinate everything until the last minute even things you want to do. Did you flunk the classes that didn't interest you but do great in those that did. Do you always need a gps to drive places you go to often because your brain wanders while you drive and you realize you missed your exit. Do you only take jobs that are 2nd or 3rd shift because you're a night owl. If something upsets you, does it ruin your entire day. For "normal" people these things don't run their life, they are just things that happen while they live functionally. For those with adhd it runs your life every day, from childhood through teens and adulthood and changes how they function.
The most scaring thing to me is that I have to explain and prove that I have ADHD to my loved ones. I’m gathering all the info now, I’m reading mr Brown’s book “A new understanding of ADHD” and I‘m reading other authors too, but... I’m so scared that if my research and presentation won’t be clear, illustrative enough, I am to be called hypochondriac. I am to be called “just lazy dreamer” who’s looking for an excuse for her failures. In my country, a psychotherapist who is at least aware of this syndrome, is one in a million! So I’ve lost my hope to get official diagnosis and medication. I just need some love acceptance forgiveness and support from my family Is it too much?
It is too much sadly. Instead our sue the knowledge for yourself and the people you choose to allow in your life going forward. I wasted over 20 years trying to gain acceptance and validation from family and friends to no avail which lead to increased anxiety and depression... anxiety from realizing no one really accepted me as me and depression from the invalidation. Finally I made a choice to separate from those who do not have the desire or ability to know, understand or accept me. It’s a very short list of people, but I feel safe in their midst and loved as I am. So wish I had done that level of acceptance and separation years earlier. Hang in there 🤗
Most people at in denial, do want to believe or just has no idea how to wrap their minds around the fact that our brains are wired differently. We must stay away from labels to. I do have ADHD, however if we make better diet, exercise, sleep, no alcohol, right meds/doctor, prayer life, we Can and will be overcomers by determination and better study habits. Try using headphones to listen to classes, I did helps alot, keeps my mind on class/home work. I hope this helps, I believe in you. We will take back control into our hands, don't give your power away. Don't let them steal your joy either. I have vulnerable/grandiose narcissistic people in my family (bless there hearts) they think they are doctors...lol...you are your better cheerleader. Check out Andrew Huberman podcast for optimizing and changing the brain & habits 🙏🌻🌹♥️🌱✌🥑🥗
I get so stuck on what ifs and keep myself from advancing, it’s more than procrastinating. Motivation, impulsiveness, procrastination, fear of rejection and time management have really hurt me to the point where I’ve lost years of life/progress in paralysis. Doing everything last minute is the only way I know and it really catches up to you. Even with sleep and eating. Even with showing up to work, texting people back, etc. I never knew it was adhd until a quick diagnosis at age 24. Unraveling adhd is traumatic, but I get to choose to cope better or let it keep me in paralysis now. For now, I have put off making the decision.
I used to didn’t believe in it. I started back on medication 2 weeks or three weeks ago. I can’t remember. Life is much easier now. Easier it is but it’s not fixed. My manger has been having my back. She’s super sweet, helpful, with me all the way. I know I can do anything as long as people have the patience. I just told her that I have short term memory loss. I haven’t told her I take meds and have adhd. I don’t wanna be judged. Some people don’t believe in it and don’t know about it. She told me to write everything down and I also think I forgot to clock out yesterday at work. 😒 I’ll have to leave sticky notes or have set alarms or something. My manger is a sweetheart though. I told her she’s so patient with me. It really is annoying having this disorder. I feel like a baby trapped in a kids body. I really do hate having it.
Drive by the emotions, I think that's the main problem, greatest of all! Not sure why it's so little about it while it's a major issue in my opinion. Finally somone got to the point, probably the best material I've seen about Adhd so far. Thank you so much!!
It helps to have anyone In Your life who genuinely understands you and the affects adhd has on you to be around for mental support while keeping you accountable by reminding you casually without being pushy in an encouraging way.
Dr. Brown is wonderful! Wish I had him as my clinician. I learned a lot from this discussion that I hadn't considered as effects of ADHD. As someone who suffers from this and had originally chosen not to take medication, I now realize that the combination of meds and talk therapy are what I need. The name of this book "Smart and Stuck" is exactly where I am in my life right now (age 68). Will check it out. Thanks for the interview and information shared.
I was thinking the same, it would be awesome to have him manage my condition so I looked up Dr. T.E. Brown's website. He does not take insurance, and charges $1500 for initial assessment, and $400/hour after that. Even with a six figure income, this is too much. I have been researching ADHD for a few months since I was diagnosed at 40+; you definitely need both medication and therapy, and it will still be a struggle. I am only getting started figuring it out. If you are in the US, I think all insurance plans would cover therapy as well, but a deductible may apply.
This is amazing Thankyou for all your years of work to be able to understand those of us struggling with adhd. It can become a very cold place when you’re only known as ‘the problem person’ from others... this really helps to hear that there are others out there coming at us from a very diffenrent standpoint. You sir, are appreciated. Thankyou
I am almost 35 and have been trying to work on me and omg I had no idea that so much of my procrastinating is bc of add. Knowing this years ago would have helped me tremendously.
This has shed more light on my life than anything else I’ve ever seen or heard thank you so much. Now I wish u could do a talk on how help certain types of adhd presentations with certain debilitating symptoms. Like chronic lateness, the dread of even getting ready to go somewhere Or how to reverse the affect of time shrinkage.
I 100% agree w this. I’m always caught up in my emotions. It feels like my emotions encompass my entire mind when they hit. I stay stuck in them. And it’s always one emotion at a time. My loved ones often pull me out of it by giving me perspective.
holy moly! I rarely (never?!) felt so understood, both by another person but also of understanding myself. it gives me a sense of relief. like, I am struggling with these things and I feel I can give myself permission to keep on. not worrying about what everyone else thinks about who I am and what I chose to do. for example, not working?! wow, I must be the laziest, dumbest person alive?! I must want to live in poverty?! or, am I trying to find _my_ way, what works for me so that I can be the best version of me and as happy as I can be?! sure, money does help, but I am not there yet. I'm only 44, after all. ;) I've been lost for so many years...
Thank you for this video. I was in tears the whole time listening to it till the end, because of everything that was being said and the exactly the right words was exactly what I have been going through with my whole entire life. I am now looking at life with a little bit more with a smile
I literally got fired because my job description changed and expectations doubled. I made one final push after being placed on a performance plan and I did really well for a couple months before falling back into limbo between low value legacy work and high value high focus innovative work. In a way I'm sad because I enjoyed lots of things about the position and industry but on the other hand I feel free from the golden handcuffs to persue my dreams of financial independence in a more entrepreneurial path.
Good luck to you Brendan! Just remember to get someone to help you with organization tasks. Your creativity and ambition should see you through the rest.
My daughter as a small child used to ask what if on a regular basis. Crazy what if’s for a small child and things that weren’t likely at all to happen.
Medication is like putting glasses on someone who has never been able to see the words on a page, so never learned how to read; they may gain the ability to see, but now they have to learn how to read.
@@Captain_MonsterFart Not all ADHD medication are stimulants; not only that, they have a different effect on the ADHD brain than they do on a neurotypical brain. While they may give a neurotypical person lots of energy, they can help someone with ADHD have more control over their symptoms and focus better.
@Polite Q They are replacing low levels of serotonin and they do not need to have the dose increased for the same effect. Behavior therapy with reminders and environmental changes also help focus to finish tasks and use extra physical energy energy.Phelps the Olympic champion with 22 GOLD OLYMPIC MEDALS has ADHD that helped him become champion!!!
Thank you so much for this post! I've always intellectual-ised conditions and situations, completely forgetting how powerful emotions are. I was diagnosed with ADHD 6 months ago and am still learning about the positives and negatives of it. Now I will be focusing more on emotion control, and may even get motivated enough to put my genius into action. 🙂
I dont have ADHD but have found a lot of the behavior advice works for me and time management. But man, all the ADHD content in TH-cam is waaay too long even for me who doesnt even have ADHD. How would a person who has undiagnosed ADHD even get the idea that he/she might have it and then get help? Other than that, all these lectures done by researchers and doctors are fascinating and very helpful. I’m very thankful that this info is available to the public esp because self-help youtube often regurgitate crappy tips and hacks without evidence. I just wish the content would be more accessible for folks who actually need the info.
I’m not crazy what a relief. Why do other doctors completely miss the emotional part. For me, it’s way worse than just be distracted since it destroyed friendships, family and couples
My biggest hurdle is getting started on anything and everything. I always wait until the very last minute or until it is urgent. I know better, but I cannot break this habit of being a chronic procrastinator. I do this even for things I want to do and things I’m excited or interested in doing, I still can’t get motivated to start until it is urgent.
Oh my gosh!!! This is ME to a T! I can only seem to get things done when it’s very last minute 😩😩😩 LOVE painting and have been getting great feedback and even have a list of paintings people have requested and for some reason I can’t even get started on that because none of them have a deadline! It’s insane! It’s the thing I love doing most but now that people have asked for them I can’t seem to pick up my brushes because it’s an ope. Request. I just keep doing very productive procrastination but not painting. I get sooooo annoyed with myself!
I’m the same, I have many project to do and I can’t get started. I just look at them and think, no not today. Another thing is light, even sun light, I can’t stand bright lights. I wonder if anyone else feels uncomfortable about bright lights. 🤷♀️
For me personally I remember the emotions very well and I know very well what I need to do but I just can’t get that metaphorical gun to my head untilI really really really have to do something and I get scared like you said. I wish I could scare myself sooner. But since I’m not getting punished at the moment and I don’t want to do whatever it is I just don’t do it and I know I should and I know the consequences coming but it’s not right now and I guess I think somehow it will just go away
I have never related more with a comment in my life. Thankyou for sharing, as bad as this sounds Its comforting knowing I'm not the only one that has this mental block. Have you got any strategies to help this?
@@jordanbate6 Give yourself incentives or rewards for completing tasks, and things. Look for anticipation, so let's say you work for an hour, and after that hour, you get to listen to music for 5 minutes, then the anticipation of knowing you'll get to listen to music for 5 minutes will motivate you to work for an hour. Schedule your tasks in chunks. We are not procrastinating, procrastination is just the symptom of our anxiety of having to complete the tasks, so if you give yourself anticipatory rewards, you'll get things done.
this touches on some huge aspects of ADHD. Emotional dysregulation is a huge problem for me. It has impacted my life outcome hugely. I have ADHD and CPTSD.and both conditions together, elevates this problem for me and makes it more challenging to manage/treat.
My god I needed this. I need to understand and I don’t but I’ve been frozen lately and the girl in the intro..... that’s exactly what I do and how I feel and can’t get things done!! It’s been almost a month
Sometimes while being in the underground line I ask myself: what would happen, if this grandma over there would start to pull out a gun and start herassing the guy to her left. Would the big guy behind her intervene? What would happen, if the guy to her left also pulls out a gun?.... And then my mind is spinning the most crazy scenarios while I think in a serious matter about different hypothetical options. Until something else catches my attention, like someone jumping in while doors are closing. Then the next thing starts: what would happen, if his arm got stuck in the closing door and the train starts.... I don't know how many percent of my daytime are related to this kind of thoughts.
Yes! Requesting more info on ADHD. Tips, tricks, helpful info, anything is appreciated so much! Even some redirection as to where to find more info or what not. Thank thank you!
Can you make some practical videos?? We with ADHD often learn or know what the problem is but we want practical options so we can learn and take the things who fit us.
Is there any in depth information for ADD impairment. & FATIGUE, delayed, lazy, TIME Impairment, Planning for TASKS, LACK of Order, poor organizing daily responsibilities. Chronic exhaustion, low energy daily. Low to No energy. Many challenges. Can anyone ENLIGHTEN & INSPIRING INFORMATION???? PLEASE?? MORE INFORMATION???
Thank you for speaking about this topic in such an uplifting way. One of the most regretful aspects of my life, emotional disregulation and my responses. Now, late in life, my diagnosis brings me relief, hope, and tools that are beginning to work. Your examples hit home In so many ways. Again, thank you. 🙏
Thank you for your research and dedication to learning about ADHD. I’m glad I gave the time to listen to your presentation because it made me feel very seen, heard and validated. In my 30’s and went undiagnosed until my 20’s, therapy and medication has helped, but a lot of these complexities were unresolved and really I was unaware of them being significant or part of ADHD. It helps to understand myself better so I can hopefully improve and help others understand also. I will read your book and follow your research in the future. The all consuming emotions are definitely a big factor in my life and I was diagnosed with HSP, which I believe blurs with ADHD and some ASD. Anyways, the “brakes” and “ignition” metaphor really resonated with me as I’ve come to terms with being emotional, but not come to terms with being incapable of executing anything I want to. I hope to find more solutions, but will try the tips you gave as well. I wish more physicians, medical professionals and general public were more educated with ADHD like you are. There’s still so much stigma and misperceptions. I’m grateful to have good providers, but know many don’t and much of those around me don’t understand.
The most scariest thing for me is trying to get my partner to understand my ADHD and look into it to get an insight. She suffers from BPD and currently is just coloring. It's what she typically does from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. I'm honestly not sure if she is interested in knowing about it. We talk about it and I feel it's important for me to see her learn more about it. But I really don't know what to do.
Im in the same position. I try sending articles translated to spanish in regards to things that are very relevant to the problems that we might have or regarding articles for ADHD and Marriage. and even though she is not an expert at that topic it does opened her mind a bit more and understands a bit more what Im struggling with a tiny bit more. So put in the work and get her to notice that there are other couples struggling with the same things.
This comment i love. I experience all discussed emotional issues, however I do also feel like I think on another level to other people. Like a lot to me is common sense. I over think and think in more ways than 1 about a topic, actions, decisions and activities. I pick things up super quick by watching. I see once and I can in my head recall and do. Im not a book worm or study person but very much practical.
Hi as a medical personnel I tell my clients to always checkup on their family. To know if they are okay. But I didn't have enough time for mine and I didn't notice that my child had ADHD. But I am greatful to Dr Iyhere on youtube for providing a lasting treatment for him. I appreciate you sir.
Problems "putting on the brakes" led to "ignition" problem for me. Too many catastrophic results from oversharing, or impulsivity make it more attractive to be inert. . .but that's not good either 😕
Yeah I overshare so often and then disappear from people's lives because of internalized guilt that I have because I've convinced myself that I'm annoying and too much.
Thank you so much for another wonderful lecture. I enjoy very much listening and readung your very professional materials. While listening to the explanation about focusing on one sole negative emotion and forgetting about other conflicting emotions or thoughts, I was wondering whether it might also be an expression of the sympathetic system. e.g., being in a situation interpreted by the person as a threat and as such triggering one of the 3 Fs responses. Thus, the forgetfullness can also be some kind of blackout and not only a working memory problem.
ADHD is a curse, a never ending nightmare... It is a brutal thing to face every day when you watch people surpass you in everything. I really wish I was dead instead of having to live with ADHD.
I was lucky I loved art and all my jobs involved art . Then I came to America and started decorative art in wealth homes . I was busy till in my 50s now 68 I can’t get. Out of bed just started Adderal it got me out of bed .
@@LawNerdAmber if you just started taking it recently, then it is common to experience nausea. I experienced mild nausea for a couple of months, but then it went away. Strattera has been a big help for me.
I was diagnosed of A.D.H.D on time at an early stage of my life, and as a result I was home schooled, I wasn't happy about my condition especially when I see my siblings going to school every morning. As the years went by, I got to know about Dr Iyhere on youtube and I have tried out his sessions and drugs, I started day school last spring and it has been amazing.
Ill say this. There needs to be a discussion to bring society and psychology back together. It sounds like alot of these issues are societal in addition to ADHD stuff.
I’ve been thinking that too. The high demands of work life to afford cost of living really bring out the mental instabilities and/or behavior that go against society’s standards of being constantly productive and balanced.
A lot of this resonates with me. I have Asperger's and I often wonder if I would qualify for a dual diagnosis. I struggle with many of the same executive function deficits, and from what I've read, there can be a lot of overlap between both of these neurodevelopmental conditions.
@@melphillips1608 I think I know what you mean. I'm inclined to think that if I were treated for ADHD, then the overlapping symptoms for both would perhaps see an improvement. However, I would still struggle with sensory overload and social deficits that come with ASD, though I suspect daily life would be a little more manageable.
I have the same problem with noise. Before I got diagnosed with adhd I thought I had misophonia by it self. I also suffer from insomnia and mood swings.
the world has to not be such a hostile dangerous place in order for us to get better, and society has been programmed everyone to be self serving way too much for that to happen anytime soon.
For me, my experience of emotion did not fit this description. After being on meds and looking through decades of memories with a new lens, I started to get what I can only describe as cluster explosions of epiphanies, occurring randomly with massive, nearly overwhelming amounts of information. During one of these, I had the realization that adjacent emotions were flattened or merged into something that was not an emotion that anyone else had. For example, I had a lifelong pattern of sleeping with someone on the first date or trying to make a relationship out of a one-night stand. I could fall for someone really quickly and it always ended badly and was short in duration. I realized that there had been no distinction for me between attraction, infatuation, love, and sex. They were all compressed or flattened into one single emotion containing inseparable aspects of each, which no one else could understand. Unmedicated, if I found the way someone walked to be arousing, made eye contact during a short conversation, slept with, or dated and lived with for a few months, I would describe all with the same intensity of “love.” I was also often told I didn’t have enough empathy. Meds didn’t give me empathy. What was actually happening was that I couldn’t empathize because none of my low resolution, pixelated emotions made any sense when I tried to imagine how other people felt. Obvious primal emotions or unique and un-nuanced ones were the only ones that seemed to work for me to empathize with (Anger, fear, betrayal, etc).
A wise man once tried to make me look at myself but I received it different … when you come to know it’s not ‘I can’t be your Superman’ it’s ‘I’m not your kryptonite’
I’m mostly the got to have/do the thing now one, but experience the other three too, and the general, it’s all encompassing thing. I think the have to do the thing, or interest based emotion has a positive side, at least for me it’s often when I have the motivation to get a lot done, and sometimes even finish creative projects. While maybe it would only be a negative for neurotypical people who’s motivation I assume is more evenly spread (and therefore don’t need it to balance) but for me it’s often so hard to make myself do things that when I get a burst of motivation I want to take it. The problem is of course if you have other less interesting priorities you end up ignoring, or for me I’ll often keep pushing myself to keep doing the thing after the dopamine’s run out and I burn out. So those are things I want to work on managing. But I think unlike the others there are aspects of that interest/passion based emotion that can be utilized in positive ways.
I have been diagnosed when I was 58 years old. Suffering from daily anxiety and a depressive disorder, once diagnosed and on Vyvanse 70mg now, anxiety and depression is under control. It felt great not to resort to hyperfocusing, inattention to details. I have looked into ways to decrease some residual symptoms. I use a Tibetan copper bowl for a minute or 2. It takes away symptoms of hyperfocusing. I've trained myself to use this when I get overwhelmed despite medicine. Short meditations from ucla also help. My question is I am on max dose if Vyvanse 70mg, my job has more hours than what Vyvanse covers . Vyvanse covers, for me at least 8 hours. I wonder if I need a short acting med. To cover days that I work late. Comments?
I intially started with regular dexamphetamine before changing to vyvanse (which has been very beneficial to me) but when presented with the situation you describe I would be able to cover those gaps with the older medication. I understand that this likely doesn't help your situation but there may be potential to have that conversation with your psychiatrist?
Due to the nature of my job I have been unable to try out alot of things, also I tend to be forgetful of things so I went to the hospital and I was asked to conduct some tests. When the doctors told me I had ADHD, and meeting Dr Iyhere after all these so called treatments, my life has been quite difficult.
so I've been working on what i can to understand adhd, im undiagnosed, but i'm sure even this post will yet again show it evident. I've just recently learned of its correlation to executive function, which explains more thatn im comfortable giving up responsibility for falling short on. Come to find out, after a certain mental break, i figured out that there is a me that i have to persuade to want to do what i need to do. i tend to goof to deflecct but its also my best understanding. I have to get all of me on board in order to even consider promising anything. like anything that requires practice, cant do it, i like concepts, if i get it, i dont wana just "practice". Anywho, this talk sounded less absurd once i started reading about freud's id/ego/superego ... i had wtf moment.. thats what i mean. all this time i had thought that i had identified adhd symptoms as that part of me that just doesnt want to do things, i quit scheduling things just because i remember how many times i've woken up that day and "i dont wana" ... a heavy dose of shame accompanies knowing better and still screwing up. I've accepted that i think deep and feel deep, but i can argue my way back into positive light when i take something harshly, i know the other person didnt mean it that way and i dont my meanings are incorrect
there is one more thing that idk if u guys are experiencing but like difficults on talking not small or quick but in generall statment sometimes to me its just hard to build words toghter and another one is about opening like its hard to open up to talk about my issues to someone idont mean i have debression or anxiety but in general its hard to open and talk about these thing i would prefeer to ponder alone and find solussion for it rather than talk to someone about it i really dont get it its just so comblicated
Btw to the ladies question about how clinicians know if it’s a not other emotional disorder or adhd....... I think based on what I know and how I feel and have observed that 80 HD will often present itself as totally engrossed and interested in something or...... Being Bored/ frustrated /impatient and wanting to escape that disinterested response emotion
Oh yeah. ADHD times hormonal cycles can take you down, episode after episode. Everyone gets tired. So you say to yourself, “of course! I don’t blame you in the least! I’ll be over here, just sitting on my hands for the next ten years. Hope you retain a few good memories of our friendship and love.”
Lack of ignition to excellerate movement into the important task at hand. ADD impairment. Working memory weakness. ADD also. We also can not make & Keeping trustworthy FRIENDS to lean on for caregivers assistance to help us WAKE UP, & or make sure we get to an appointment on time. Friends burn out. They want US to act more grown UP, MATURE Behaviors. Interdependent, accountable conduct. So SO imbarrassing to have a NERVOUS ANXIOUS & ADD IMPAIRED medical conditions. We want SOCIAL Community trustworthy FRIENDS, also. Truly. Can someone experienced shine the LIGHT ON US ??? PLEASE??
Thank you for doing this channel. I don’t think that you have ADHD (it doesn’t seem like it)But you seem to really understand it pretty well better than a lot of people who have it. At least you can explain it better. It’s real tough for a lot of people to understand things that they don’t experience. I think I could help you out with some perspective on a few of these issues. For example one thing that I’ve never ever had a problem with is the explosive emotions or getting mad at someone and saying some thing I don’t mean in fact I’m quite good at doing the opposite I think possibly the reason is because I learned that it works and he can’t take back anything that you said just out of being angry and if you look at it like a challenge or a game when you’re in a fight with someone you will always always win if you don’t let your emotions control what you do and say. And if you watch the other personNot controlling themselves and knowing that you’re winning just purely based on that it kind of gets rid of the need to yell and scream. It only takes a couple times I doing this until you realize how well it works and it turns into kind of a fun little twisted game but nonetheless it’s better than exploding and then regretting it or having some consequences or holes in the wall. I feel like I found a secret that no one else knows about when it comes to arguments but it’s really obvious and I told people it’s just for some reason they can’t do it. I guess I don’t understand that just like some people don’t understand things that I have a hard time with but maybe that way of thinking About it could help. Smart but stuck sounds good… I’ve been to therapist in the past and the one most memorable part is when one therapist wants told me That probably the reason why I was so bored in school and get bored so easily is because I’m really really smart and things just come easy and once I learned I get bored .....so I was going around thinking I’m like some kind of genius until I discovered recently that it was not “ Genius“ 😒it was ADHD. After that there was one other memorable part and that was when she told me that she could not help me and it would not be right to continue seeing me because I’m too smart and I already know all the stuff and there’s nothing more she can do basically gave up on me. And she was right to do that because I didn’t know everything she was telling me and it was boring to sit there and listen to her try to figure things out that I couldn’t even figure out and I knew me better than anybody. She also couldn’t make me do these things that I didn’t want to do because she wasn’t there with me when I wasn’t in therapy with her ...there was no gun to my head. I always thought her assignments that were dumb and I already knew that they weren’t going to help because she wasn’t even looking at the right issuesWhich she also agreed on later but it was just a big waste of money and time and then I felt like after that nobody could help me because she wasn’t the first person I went to and I got sick of explaining things from the beginning all over again. It wasn’t till recently till I discovered this on my own on TH-cam that it was ADHD but my mom and brother both got diagnosed with but I never was diagnosed with it they just never thought I had it so I never thought I had it never even considered it I thought it was a problem learning and I have no problem learning I’m a fast learner..... if I want to learn it So anyway I didn’t think I had eggs I guess I didn’t know what it was truly and now that I’m learning more and more it’s good to know that there’s an explanation for why I am the way I am but ....I still am and that sucks Sorry for venting here this got longer than I meant it to be thanks for making this channel though
I am so amazed by what I am hearing. My 17 year old son has ADHD and I can relate to “got to have it now and worrying”. Especially now since he’s trying to join a basketball team in his school but is being denied because he was recently transferred from another school. I am currently looking for a counselor for him because he has lost his motivation for going to school. I live in Michigan do you have any suggestions for a counselor?
Are there other basketball teams he can join besides just the school? Other sports? He’ll feel better being on a team but not if he’s rejected and shunned by school and/or team mates even if he’s very good at it. [this is based on my experience, so keep that with a grain of salt, but being on a team with ppl that are welcoming allows for blossoming of talents that are already existing ].
I wasn't diagnosed until 2013 in my 50's. I'm a joiner. A motivated optimist who's the first person to say Hi my name is... I'm very lucky in that I don't have depression. Yet in a way I've kinda felt as if I was isolated from the rest of my friends and I have many. We've kept in touch. They know they can vent with me and that I'm a vault. I'm a much better person on meds. I have great trouble getting started. I have tasks I've pot off my spouse says he can do it in ten minutes but it would be all wrong. I need to organize things by date and locate other things. Stack things in order he says he'll just throw it all away. I have returns & need things he doesn't understand and yes if I had a gun to my head I could properly get it all done in 20 minutes and we could eat at the table again.. I've had trouble reading all my life. I'm a slow reader. I have to Make myself comprehend it. I invented different ways to add in grade school. I never understood word problems. Especially those where the Traub is leaving at 5pm going 50mph what time will it arrive at a certain place. I never understood the need to know these things. I was and always have been very perceptive. I almost remember every day of my life back to around 5 to 8mo old. I've always had a good sense of who I am in the world able to predict future problems if certain things are not in place or done correctly. I'm not psychic. I don't know what "it" is. It's just that I used to think everyone could predict future problems if people didn't follow thru with someone's health care. Double check to make certain a prescription was correctly filled. In essence never assume someone did their job correctly. I always have tp check things myself I've caught so many medical errors people have made. Is the need to always double check everything an Add thing or is it a behavior that's been taught? My grandparents and parents checked things. Does everyone or am I blowing something out of proportion?
Diagnosed at age 40 was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at a young age, Aspergers at 23. Now the NDIS who were funding my social activities for my health are refusing to fund it and ruined my life
In California I had 3 30mg adderall that worked well. I moved 600 miles away to Nevada and they only prescribe 2 a day. It's not enough. Sometimes I need 60mh to get up. Sometimes i need to extend my day and take one at 5pm or later. I also had XR in California. Is this a state law or has the dea changed the doses? Everyone's body system is different. Medication needs to be designed around a particular individual You can't tell patients 2 a day is all you get. That's it. ???
My wife and daughter left me last year. They couldn't take it anymore. Another ADHD failure. This comes shortly after burning out for the third and final time as a truck driver. I know I have ADHD now.
That is sad to hear. However, having some space and time to just look after you might be a good thing? I have started to think that many /most of the negative traits we tend to view in people as ‘personality’ flaws are most likely the result of a health or neurological condition or the result of complex post traumatic stress disorder from childhood (which are v similar to adhd). We judge our partners, family and workmates and make assumptions like they have moral failings - eg are lazy, uncaring, careless, selfish, grumpy, inconsiderate etc etc - but the reality is often more likely that they are fatigued, feel unwell, are low in dopamine, serotonin, feel depressed, have anxiety, insomnia - etc etc. But when you’re both on the receiving end of these behaviours and are also trying to cope with your own issues, maintaining relationships can be very difficult.
Nobody suspected ADHD in me despite a two month stay in a mental health inpatient unit following the loss of my dad and two poly pharmacy overdoses. A later ADHD diagnosis came from a consultant psychologist particularly attuned to the ADHD in a number of his clients that are are often in trouble with the law. I was hoping the Ritalin would give me a calm brain.
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I wish i could see someone as knowledgeable as this dude.
I procrastinate with everything from work projects, returning phone calls, to getting in the shower. I wait until the absolute last minute until it is “crunch time” and then I get a burst of energy and am finally able to function. I’ve had this issue my entire life and was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but have not had my appointment yet to discuss medication.
hope you're getting it done!! best of luck
This is a must-listen video. I watch every expert lecture/interview I come across on ADHD and this man speaks on some topics that aren't talked about nearly enough.
I’ve been thinking along the same lines. Thomas E Brown is brilliant. I’m very new to learning about ADHD after being diagnosed by a clinical psychiatrist nearly 2 years ago. Only started medication last week, after a long period of denial. I can’t stop watching these videos. I’ve learned a lot.
Thankyou Mitchell and Rob, I always wanted to find this guys name. I saw a diagnosis video of his a year ago. I recognized his voice straight away!
Yes I agree that in ADHD emotional dysfunction and effects of these are not very considered and understood. My son has emotional dysfunction and this video is eye opening and lots of Aha moments for me. I know now why he is doing what he is doing
@@RichRobinson He is brilliant.. and gets at the nooks and crannies
I absolutely agree a billion percent!! Made me cry in frustration and validation throughout the whole thing
“I’m just a person who works better under stress.” That part spoke to me.
My ADHD has remained even into my adulthood. I am 65. I have a tough time daily but I learned all on my own to recognize what happens to me inside and I constantly work to adjust my thoughts and feelings. I have been "melancholy" since boyhood. I saw many Doctors from childhood on and finally a new GP said I have ADHD. He put me on meds which worked well but I had side effects. He told me to start drinking Cola twice a day. I have been on the cola for 5 years and feel great but I still have emotional issues, especially when I get abused. Yes, as a senior citizen, I get abused and bullied by family and even grocery shopping. I have a very high IQ but am socially dumb. I do the best I can and I learned to love me, and respect me. These two factors have changed everything. I love me, I respect me, and I love you too!
You are fantastic! However, being abused is not acceptable at any age! You are still young!! God bless you! 😊🙏🏻
I feel ya! I'm, 69 just learning I have this...oh God,,,bless us all,,
Love you too David. Hang in there!!
can I ask, what was the purpose of the cola?
@@niamhhoran I wonder if it might be the caffeine? I find coffee does help my symptoms a bit but I don't indulge daily.
I have 3 deadlines in the next 3 days and here I am listening to this very interesting and relatable video on ADHD. It definitely is way more interesting and easier than the work I have to get done. I suspect I might have ADHD because procrastination like this is what I do all the time. Cant get started as much as I wish I did.
This video is providing a lot of relief. Albeit undiagnosed
A diagnosis is not the end-all be-all. It's helpful for some, but if you know in your heart that ADHD explains your struggles, then that's all that matters. Just my opinion. That being said, a diagnosis does come with options like treatment with medication, possible assistance in school (if you're a student) etc. This video provided a lot of relief for me too. :)
Kinb
Yes
In regard to the ADHD vs depression - I was diagnosed with depression since I was a teen. All the way to adulthood. It wasn't until a psychologist took the time to look outside of the depression to realize, it was actually ADHD causing it. Once I was properly diagnosed, got on medication, my depression was corrected. Emotions play a huge part in ADHD. If I don't have my medication, I know to expect those depression feelings to return. However, now I know what to expect and how to properly handle it.
TL;DR - great video. Excellent talk. Well done.
Problem for me is the medication effects wear off for me and have side effects.
If you’re open to sharing, what medication are you on?
Can you please share what medication you're on? The main line seems to wear off and that sucks because symptoms return often with some side effect.
I need to find a really good psychologist who can help me like in your case
I am hoping medication will help me with this. happy to hear it works for you!
I'm so grateful for this. In my 50s and relatively new to TH-cam. Channels like this and you lovely people in the comments are an enormous help. THANK YOU each and every one of you. 🙏🙂❤️
This is gold. In my 13 years of diagnose and therapy no one has ever explained this to me. It's rediculous.
Thank God I have found what I have passion for and what I excel at. I have learned to begin school projects way in advance
He knows the real truth about ADHD this is a great talk!
The thing I struggle with is, so many of these symptoms have been my entire life so they seem normal. Like, inability to sustain interest in things over long term? Yea, thats just life, right? Or is it? Hard time focussing on boring tasks... doesn't everyone? Or do they? I just don't know any other experience but my own, so its impossible for me to really know what "normal" is.
I feel the exact same way. I think I’ve come up with a good idea to fix this if you’d be willing to give it a go just for fun... get one of those ADHD tests and print em out or something or do it however you like but do one for yourself and get two people you know who you think are getting on with life just fine to do the ADHD test as well and see what the results are (Maybe try and hide that it’s an ADHD test? Or don’t it’s up to you). You’ll hopefully see clear evidence of someone who isn’t struggling with a cognitive problem and someone who is. I think you’ve adapted to your problem but only as much as you could because it’s still a problem you regularly notice and you want answers. Go get answers by having a fun test with people to affirm your suspicion of ADHD. Obviously it’s not an official psychiatrist confirmed diagnosis and all that jazz but it might help push you towards acknowledging you need help to make your life easier and to get meds possibly to struggle less and get on par with people who aren’t having this issue.
What’s funny is I’d like to try this what I’ve said but I keep putting it off 😂 haha “I’ll do it eventually” 🙄😂
One thing I heard on another video that really resonated with me was that these are things that are common to most people, but with those with ADHD it’s to the point where it interferes with your daily life, goals, etc. Hope this helps some
@Danny Rogers Not necessarily. Some do great on one type and not on another. It really varies by medication and from person to person.
Don’t worry about what “normal” is. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone but your previous self, and work on your problems- to become an even better future self.
Add is a gift and a curse- some weaknesses and many strengths as well.
It's an issue if it interferes with your whole life, starting in childhood. For example did report cards mention that you were disruptive in class. Are you often late to work and in trouble for that or often late to pay bills. Do you always procrastinate everything until the last minute even things you want to do. Did you flunk the classes that didn't interest you but do great in those that did. Do you always need a gps to drive places you go to often because your brain wanders while you drive and you realize you missed your exit. Do you only take jobs that are 2nd or 3rd shift because you're a night owl. If something upsets you, does it ruin your entire day. For "normal" people these things don't run their life, they are just things that happen while they live functionally. For those with adhd it runs your life every day, from childhood through teens and adulthood and changes how they function.
I have listened to this several times and each time I'm just more exasperated by how relatable it is for me and my youngest son.
The most scaring thing to me is that I have to explain and prove that I have ADHD to my loved ones. I’m gathering all the info now, I’m reading mr Brown’s book “A new understanding of ADHD” and I‘m reading other authors too, but... I’m so scared that if my research and presentation won’t be clear, illustrative enough, I am to be called hypochondriac. I am to be called “just lazy dreamer” who’s looking for an excuse for her failures. In my country, a psychotherapist who is at least aware of this syndrome, is one in a million! So I’ve lost my hope to get official diagnosis and medication. I just need some love acceptance forgiveness and support from my family
Is it too much?
It is too much sadly. Instead our sue the knowledge for yourself and the people you choose to allow in your life going forward. I wasted over 20 years trying to gain acceptance and validation from family and friends to no avail which lead to increased anxiety and depression... anxiety from realizing no one really accepted me as me and depression from the invalidation. Finally I made a choice to separate from those who do not have the desire or ability to know, understand or accept me. It’s a very short list of people, but I feel safe in their midst and loved as I am. So wish I had done that level of acceptance and separation years earlier. Hang in there 🤗
This is me as well. I got yelled at so much growing up for being in my "dream world" & losing cell phones one after another.
Most people at in denial, do want to believe or just has no idea how to wrap their minds around the fact that our brains are wired differently. We must stay away from labels to. I do have ADHD, however if we make better diet, exercise, sleep, no alcohol, right meds/doctor, prayer life, we Can and will be overcomers by determination and better study habits. Try using headphones to listen to classes, I did helps alot, keeps my mind on class/home work. I hope this helps, I believe in you. We will take back control into our hands, don't give your power away. Don't let them steal your joy either. I have vulnerable/grandiose narcissistic people in my family (bless there hearts) they think they are doctors...lol...you are your better cheerleader. Check out Andrew Huberman podcast for optimizing and changing the brain & habits 🙏🌻🌹♥️🌱✌🥑🥗
@@SweetiePieTweety wow I can identify with your comment.
To those that mind, don't matter
To those matter, don't mind, be who you are & say what you feel, always be true to yourself no.matter what♥️♥️♥️
The emotional side is oftentimes overlooked. This talk tackles this side of ADHD.
The executive functioning issues and emotional regulation plus RSD are the biggest symptoms of ADHD
I get so stuck on what ifs and keep myself from advancing, it’s more than procrastinating. Motivation, impulsiveness, procrastination, fear of rejection and time management have really hurt me to the point where I’ve lost years of life/progress in paralysis. Doing everything last minute is the only way I know and it really catches up to you. Even with sleep and eating. Even with showing up to work, texting people back, etc. I never knew it was adhd until a quick diagnosis at age 24. Unraveling adhd is traumatic, but I get to choose to cope better or let it keep me in paralysis now. For now, I have put off making the decision.
Just got diagnosed. Spent years getting frustrated at myself and others and didn't know why. Now I know.
I used to didn’t believe in it. I started back on medication 2 weeks or three weeks ago. I can’t remember. Life is much easier now. Easier it is but it’s not fixed. My manger has been having my back. She’s super sweet, helpful, with me all the way. I know I can do anything as long as people have the patience. I just told her that I have short term memory loss. I haven’t told her I take meds and have adhd. I don’t wanna be judged. Some people don’t believe in it and don’t know about it. She told me to write everything down and I also think I forgot to clock out yesterday at work. 😒 I’ll have to leave sticky notes or have set alarms or something. My manger is a sweetheart though. I told her she’s so patient with me. It really is annoying having this disorder. I feel like a baby trapped in a kids body. I really do hate having it.
Thanks for sharing that sticky notes are helpful reminders as would be calendars and smart phone recordings for short memory deficiency
Drive by the emotions, I think that's the main problem, greatest of all! Not sure why it's so little about it while it's a major issue in my opinion. Finally somone got to the point, probably the best material I've seen about Adhd so far. Thank you so much!!
It helps to have anyone In Your life who genuinely understands you and the affects adhd has on you to be around for mental support while keeping you accountable by reminding you casually without being pushy in an encouraging way.
Do tell, who is this incredible being and will you share them???
That’s the dream….
Dr. Brown is wonderful! Wish I had him as my clinician. I learned a lot from this discussion that I hadn't considered as effects of ADHD. As someone who suffers from this and had originally chosen not to take medication, I now realize that the combination of meds and talk therapy are what I need. The name of this book "Smart and Stuck" is exactly where I am in my life right now (age 68). Will check it out. Thanks for the interview and information shared.
I was thinking the same, it would be awesome to have him manage my condition so I looked up Dr. T.E. Brown's website. He does not take insurance, and charges $1500 for initial assessment, and $400/hour after that. Even with a six figure income, this is too much. I have been researching ADHD for a few months since I was diagnosed at 40+; you definitely need both medication and therapy, and it will still be a struggle. I am only getting started figuring it out. If you are in the US, I think all insurance plans would cover therapy as well, but a deductible may apply.
This is amazing Thankyou for all your years of work to be able to understand those of us struggling with adhd. It can become a very cold place when you’re only known as ‘the problem person’ from others... this really helps to hear that there are others out there coming at us from a very diffenrent standpoint. You sir, are appreciated. Thankyou
Just wanna be happy again
I am almost 35 and have been trying to work on me and omg I had no idea that so much of my procrastinating is bc of add. Knowing this years ago would have helped me tremendously.
45😐
This has shed more light on my life than anything else I’ve ever seen or heard thank you so much. Now I wish u could do a talk on how help certain types of adhd presentations with certain debilitating symptoms. Like chronic lateness, the dread of even getting ready to go somewhere Or how to reverse the affect of time shrinkage.
Look up time blindness with adhd.
Great video. Suggestion for those that have a harder time listening consistenly. 1.25x or 1.5x will help.
I 100% agree w this. I’m always caught up in my emotions. It feels like my emotions encompass my entire mind when they hit. I stay stuck in them. And it’s always one emotion at a time. My loved ones often pull me out of it by giving me perspective.
You just described how my days go and then I end the day frustrated. Thanks. It was helpful to see how it happened to someone else.
holy moly! I rarely (never?!) felt so understood, both by another person but also of understanding myself. it gives me a sense of relief. like, I am struggling with these things and I feel I can give myself permission to keep on. not worrying about what everyone else thinks about who I am and what I chose to do. for example, not working?! wow, I must be the laziest, dumbest person alive?! I must want to live in poverty?! or, am I trying to find _my_ way, what works for me so that I can be the best version of me and as happy as I can be?! sure, money does help, but I am not there yet. I'm only 44, after all. ;)
I've been lost for so many years...
Thank you for this video. I was in tears the whole time listening to it till the end, because of everything that was being said and the exactly the right words was exactly what I have been going through with my whole entire life. I am now looking at life with a little bit more with a smile
I literally got fired because my job description changed and expectations doubled. I made one final push after being placed on a performance plan and I did really well for a couple months before falling back into limbo between low value legacy work and high value high focus innovative work. In a way I'm sad because I enjoyed lots of things about the position and industry but on the other hand I feel free from the golden handcuffs to persue my dreams of financial independence in a more entrepreneurial path.
Good luck to you Brendan! Just remember to get someone to help you with organization tasks. Your creativity and ambition should see you through the rest.
Hope things work out.
Every Single word he is saying is me
The struggle I’ve had with ADHD
I’ve hurt a lot of family and friends with my struggles thank you for this 🔐
My daughter as a small child used to ask what if on a regular basis. Crazy what if’s for a small child and things that weren’t likely at all to happen.
Medication is like putting glasses on someone who has never been able to see the words on a page, so never learned how to read; they may gain the ability to see, but now they have to learn how to read.
The stuff they prescribe for this sounds completely horrible to me! Addictive stimulants? How is that a solution?
@@Captain_MonsterFart Not all ADHD medication are stimulants; not only that, they have a different effect on the ADHD brain than they do on a neurotypical brain. While they may give a neurotypical person lots of energy, they can help someone with ADHD have more control over their symptoms and focus better.
@@Captain_MonsterFart here's the cure.get your mum to watch it.th-cam.com/video/jtNkoWzXD14/w-d-xo.html
@@Captain_MonsterFart Either take medicine as prescribed, or end up self medicating with everything else, and ruining your relationships on the way.
@Polite Q They are replacing low levels of serotonin and they do not need to have the dose increased for the same effect.
Behavior therapy with reminders and environmental changes also help focus to finish tasks and use extra physical energy energy.Phelps the Olympic champion with 22 GOLD OLYMPIC MEDALS has ADHD that helped him become champion!!!
Thank you so much for this post! I've always intellectual-ised conditions and situations, completely forgetting how powerful emotions are. I was diagnosed with ADHD 6 months ago and am still learning about the positives and negatives of it. Now I will be focusing more on emotion control, and may even get motivated enough to put my genius into action. 🙂
I dont have ADHD but have found a lot of the behavior advice works for me and time management. But man, all the ADHD content in TH-cam is waaay too long even for me who doesnt even have ADHD. How would a person who has undiagnosed ADHD even get the idea that he/she might have it and then get help?
Other than that, all these lectures done by researchers and doctors are fascinating and very helpful. I’m very thankful that this info is available to the public esp because self-help youtube often regurgitate crappy tips and hacks without evidence. I just wish the content would be more accessible for folks who actually need the info.
I find that I can easily get motivated by others than I am able to see many facets of a situation
I’m not crazy what a relief. Why do other doctors completely miss the emotional part. For me, it’s way worse than just be distracted since it destroyed friendships, family and couples
My biggest hurdle is getting started on anything and everything. I always wait until the very last minute or until it is urgent. I know better, but I cannot break this habit of being a chronic procrastinator. I do this even for things I want to do and things I’m excited or interested in doing, I still can’t get motivated to start until it is urgent.
Oh my gosh!!! This is ME to a T! I can only seem to get things done when it’s very last minute 😩😩😩
LOVE painting and have been getting great feedback and even have a list of paintings people have requested and for some reason I can’t even get started on that because none of them have a deadline! It’s insane! It’s the thing I love doing most but now that people have asked for them I can’t seem to pick up my brushes because it’s an ope. Request. I just keep doing very productive procrastination but not painting. I get sooooo annoyed with myself!
I’m the same, I have many project to do and I can’t get started. I just look at them and think, no not today. Another thing is light, even sun light, I can’t stand bright lights. I wonder if anyone else feels uncomfortable about bright lights. 🤷♀️
For me personally I remember the emotions very well and I know very well what I need to do but I just can’t get that metaphorical gun to my head untilI really really really have to do something and I get scared like you said. I wish I could scare myself sooner. But since I’m not getting punished at the moment and I don’t want to do whatever it is I just don’t do it and I know I should and I know the consequences coming but it’s not right now and I guess I think somehow it will just go away
I have never related more with a comment in my life. Thankyou for sharing, as bad as this sounds Its comforting knowing I'm not the only one that has this mental block. Have you got any strategies to help this?
Well put
My life story. From struggle meeting important deadlines down to not sleeping til I have work in 3 hours.
@@jordanbate6 Give yourself incentives or rewards for completing tasks, and things. Look for anticipation, so let's say you work for an hour, and after that hour, you get to listen to music for 5 minutes, then the anticipation of knowing you'll get to listen to music for 5 minutes will motivate you to work for an hour. Schedule your tasks in chunks. We are not procrastinating, procrastination is just the symptom of our anxiety of having to complete the tasks, so if you give yourself anticipatory rewards, you'll get things done.
this touches on some huge aspects of ADHD. Emotional dysregulation is a huge problem for me. It has impacted my life outcome hugely.
I have ADHD and CPTSD.and both conditions together, elevates this problem for me and makes it more challenging to manage/treat.
Sorry to hear that Kelly, it’s the same for me and it sucks :(
My god I needed this. I need to understand and I don’t but I’ve been frozen lately and the girl in the intro..... that’s exactly what I do and how I feel and can’t get things done!! It’s been almost a month
A great perspective....of seeing how ADHD affects these emotional responses. Thank You!
I have ADHD and the part about imagining the what-if situation while driving was very relatable
Sometimes while being in the underground line I ask myself: what would happen, if this grandma over there would start to pull out a gun and start herassing the guy to her left. Would the big guy behind her intervene? What would happen, if the guy to her left also pulls out a gun?.... And then my mind is spinning the most crazy scenarios while I think in a serious matter about different hypothetical options.
Until something else catches my attention, like someone jumping in while doors are closing.
Then the next thing starts: what would happen, if his arm got stuck in the closing door and the train starts....
I don't know how many percent of my daytime are related to this kind of thoughts.
Thanks for sharing, stay positive everyone, you can do it!
By far this is the most and best well explained video on adhd. Now let’s look for a fix! Thanks for the great study!
This is like he is describing how I feel every day of my life.
This video is so valuable. I wish I could find great Dr's like this for my son
Yes! Requesting more info on ADHD. Tips, tricks, helpful info, anything is appreciated so much! Even some redirection as to where to find more info or what not. Thank thank you!
This was so unbelievably relatable
Can you make some practical videos?? We with ADHD often learn or know what the problem is but we want practical options so we can learn and take the things who fit us.
Around 23:00 he gives some things we can do 😊
I would also add problems with regulating food intake. Fixation on salty things or sour. Eating one type of food for a whole day…etc
“Eating same treat for months & buying small quantity as I would eat completely, hope this helps.
I always thought i had extra ordinary awareness and skills, meaning i had to work harder to ignore extraneous things and excessive distractions
Is there any in depth information for ADD impairment. & FATIGUE, delayed, lazy, TIME Impairment, Planning for TASKS, LACK of Order, poor organizing daily responsibilities. Chronic exhaustion, low energy daily. Low to No energy. Many challenges. Can anyone ENLIGHTEN &
INSPIRING INFORMATION???? PLEASE?? MORE INFORMATION???
The story at 15ish minutes was my entire childhood. I have a lot walls now. I'm trying to work through them now.
Thank you for speaking about this topic in such an uplifting way. One of the most regretful aspects of my life, emotional disregulation and my responses. Now, late in life, my diagnosis brings me relief, hope, and tools that are beginning to work. Your examples hit home In so many ways. Again, thank you. 🙏
Thank you for your research and dedication to learning about ADHD. I’m glad I gave the time to listen to your presentation because it made me feel very seen, heard and validated. In my 30’s and went undiagnosed until my 20’s, therapy and medication has helped, but a lot of these complexities were unresolved and really I was unaware of them being significant or part of ADHD. It helps to understand myself better so I can hopefully improve and help others understand also. I will read your book and follow your research in the future. The all consuming emotions are definitely a big factor in my life and I was diagnosed with HSP, which I believe blurs with ADHD and some ASD. Anyways, the “brakes” and “ignition” metaphor really resonated with me as I’ve come to terms with being emotional, but not come to terms with being incapable of executing anything I want to. I hope to find more solutions, but will try the tips you gave as well. I wish more physicians, medical professionals and general public were more educated with ADHD like you are. There’s still so much stigma and misperceptions. I’m grateful to have good providers, but know many don’t and much of those around me don’t understand.
The most scariest thing for me is trying to get my partner to understand my ADHD and look into it to get an insight. She suffers from BPD and currently is just coloring. It's what she typically does from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. I'm honestly not sure if she is interested in knowing about it. We talk about it and I feel it's important for me to see her learn more about it. But I really don't know what to do.
Im in the same position. I try sending articles translated to spanish in regards to things that are very relevant to the problems that we might have or regarding articles for ADHD and Marriage. and even though she is not an expert at that topic it does opened her mind a bit more and understands a bit more what Im struggling with a tiny bit more. So put in the work and get her to notice that there are other couples struggling with the same things.
I feel broken by shame
I would say a higher IQ person with ADHD can be very tough if not tougher.
This comment i love. I experience all discussed emotional issues, however I do also feel like I think on another level to other people. Like a lot to me is common sense. I over think and think in more ways than 1 about a topic, actions, decisions and activities. I pick things up super quick by watching. I see once and I can in my head recall and do. Im not a book worm or study person but very much practical.
Hi as a medical personnel I tell my clients to always checkup on their family. To know if they are okay. But I didn't have enough time for mine and I didn't notice that my child had ADHD. But I am greatful to Dr Iyhere on youtube for providing a lasting treatment for him. I appreciate you sir.
Problems "putting on the brakes" led to "ignition" problem for me. Too many catastrophic results from oversharing, or impulsivity make it more attractive to be inert. . .but that's not good either 😕
Yeah I overshare so often and then disappear from people's lives because of internalized guilt that I have because I've convinced myself that I'm annoying and too much.
Thank you so much for another wonderful lecture. I enjoy very much listening and readung your very professional materials.
While listening to the explanation about focusing on one sole negative emotion and forgetting about other conflicting emotions or thoughts, I was wondering whether it might also be an expression of the sympathetic system. e.g., being in a situation interpreted by the person as a threat and as such triggering one of the 3 Fs responses. Thus, the forgetfullness can also be some kind of blackout and not only a working memory problem.
Great talk! I'm a big fan of Dr. Brown, listening to him a few months ago actually made me realize I have ADHD.
ADHD is a curse, a never ending nightmare... It is a brutal thing to face every day when you watch people surpass you in everything. I really wish I was dead instead of having to live with ADHD.
i take Strattera it helps so much with the wanna be dead thoughts
@@hollydowns2279 does it make you feel like you're going to throw up for 4 hours after you take it? I want mine to work, but it makes me throw up.
I was lucky I loved art and all my jobs involved art . Then I came to America and started decorative art in wealth homes .
I was busy till in my 50s now 68 I can’t get. Out of bed just started Adderal it got me out of bed .
@@LawNerdAmber if you just started taking it recently, then it is common to experience nausea. I experienced mild nausea for a couple of months, but then it went away. Strattera has been a big help for me.
@@hollydowns2279 cure..give it to your mum..th-cam.com/video/jtNkoWzXD14/w-d-xo.html
I have ADHD and I feel very nice, its a gift, less emotional more logical, more energy also.
Please explain, I feel similarly and want someone who feels the same way to elaborate
Consider yourself lucky.
I was diagnosed of A.D.H.D on time at an early stage of my life, and as a result I was home schooled, I wasn't happy about my condition especially when I see my siblings going to school every morning. As the years went by, I got to know about Dr Iyhere on youtube and I have tried out his sessions and drugs, I started day school last spring and it has been amazing.
Ill say this. There needs to be a discussion to bring society and psychology back together. It sounds like alot of these issues are societal in addition to ADHD stuff.
They are people need to learn to be more tolerant of us
I’ve been thinking that too. The high demands of work life to afford cost of living really bring out the mental instabilities and/or behavior that go against society’s standards of being constantly productive and balanced.
A lot of this resonates with me. I have Asperger's and I often wonder if I would qualify for a dual diagnosis. I struggle with many of the same executive function deficits, and from what I've read, there can be a lot of overlap between both of these neurodevelopmental conditions.
I have both Aspergers and ADHD Inattentive
Definitely get tested I have dual diagnosis
I wonder if you got treated for adhd how much of aspergers would be helped. If you know what I mean.
@@melphillips1608 I think I know what you mean. I'm inclined to think that if I were treated for ADHD, then the overlapping symptoms for both would perhaps see an improvement. However, I would still struggle with sensory overload and social deficits that come with ASD, though I suspect daily life would be a little more manageable.
Very very good. Thank you so much!!!
Thank you Dr. Brown
I have the same problem with noise. Before I got diagnosed with adhd I thought I had misophonia by it self. I also suffer from insomnia and mood swings.
Noise and sleep gets me as well. Also bright lights, I can’t deal with them, I like soft low light.
Thank you for this video! It helps a lot!
I've had it my whole life and it literally hasn't gotten better
the world has to not be such a hostile dangerous place in order for us to get better, and society has been programmed everyone to be self serving way too much for that to happen anytime soon.
For me, my experience of emotion did not fit this description. After being on meds and looking through decades of memories with a new lens, I started to get what I can only describe as cluster explosions of epiphanies, occurring randomly with massive, nearly overwhelming amounts of information. During one of these, I had the realization that adjacent emotions were flattened or merged into something that was not an emotion that anyone else had. For example, I had a lifelong pattern of sleeping with someone on the first date or trying to make a relationship out of a one-night stand. I could fall for someone really quickly and it always ended badly and was short in duration. I realized that there had been no distinction for me between attraction, infatuation, love, and sex. They were all compressed or flattened into one single emotion containing inseparable aspects of each, which no one else could understand. Unmedicated, if I found the way someone walked to be arousing, made eye contact during a short conversation, slept with, or dated and lived with for a few months, I would describe all with the same intensity of “love.”
I was also often told I didn’t have enough empathy. Meds didn’t give me empathy. What was actually happening was that I couldn’t empathize because none of my low resolution, pixelated emotions made any sense when I tried to imagine how other people felt. Obvious primal emotions or unique and un-nuanced ones were the only ones that seemed to work for me to empathize with (Anger, fear, betrayal, etc).
What is love for you now ?
A wise man once tried to make me look at myself but I received it different … when you come to know it’s not ‘I can’t be your Superman’ it’s ‘I’m not your kryptonite’
The biggest thing is ppl judge with out understanding our situation
Task not till u have to do it.Brain IS always WFO
Thank you for sharing this amazing information
I’m mostly the got to have/do the thing now one, but experience the other three too, and the general, it’s all encompassing thing. I think the have to do the thing, or interest based emotion has a positive side, at least for me it’s often when I have the motivation to get a lot done, and sometimes even finish creative projects. While maybe it would only be a negative for neurotypical people who’s motivation I assume is more evenly spread (and therefore don’t need it to balance) but for me it’s often so hard to make myself do things that when I get a burst of motivation I want to take it. The problem is of course if you have other less interesting priorities you end up ignoring, or for me I’ll often keep pushing myself to keep doing the thing after the dopamine’s run out and I burn out. So those are things I want to work on managing. But I think unlike the others there are aspects of that interest/passion based emotion that can be utilized in positive ways.
"It's not like anybody with ADD has all this stuff" LOL you haven't met my wife!
Hi I too have all the above, nice to know we not alone. Its hard for others to understand. Bet she's still an awesome person
I have been diagnosed when I was 58 years old. Suffering from daily anxiety and a depressive disorder, once diagnosed and on Vyvanse 70mg now, anxiety and depression is under control. It felt great not to resort to hyperfocusing, inattention to details. I have looked into ways to decrease some residual symptoms. I use a Tibetan copper bowl for a minute or 2. It takes away symptoms of hyperfocusing. I've trained myself to use this when I get overwhelmed despite medicine. Short meditations from ucla also help. My question is I am on max dose if Vyvanse 70mg, my job has more hours than what Vyvanse covers . Vyvanse covers, for me at least 8 hours. I wonder if I need a short acting med. To cover days that I work late. Comments?
I intially started with regular dexamphetamine before changing to vyvanse (which has been very beneficial to me) but when presented with the situation you describe I would be able to cover those gaps with the older medication. I understand that this likely doesn't help your situation but there may be potential to have that conversation with your psychiatrist?
Due to the nature of my job I have been unable to try out alot of things, also I tend to be forgetful of things so I went to the hospital and I was asked to conduct some tests. When the doctors told me I had ADHD, and meeting Dr Iyhere after all these so called treatments, my life has been quite difficult.
My emotions is 1 of the biggest problems i suffer
so I've been working on what i can to understand adhd, im undiagnosed, but i'm sure even this post will yet again show it evident. I've just recently learned of its correlation to executive function, which explains more thatn im comfortable giving up responsibility for falling short on. Come to find out, after a certain mental break, i figured out that there is a me that i have to persuade to want to do what i need to do. i tend to goof to deflecct but its also my best understanding. I have to get all of me on board in order to even consider promising anything. like anything that requires practice, cant do it, i like concepts, if i get it, i dont wana just "practice". Anywho, this talk sounded less absurd once i started reading about freud's id/ego/superego ... i had wtf moment.. thats what i mean. all this time i had thought that i had identified adhd symptoms as that part of me that just doesnt want to do things, i quit scheduling things just because i remember how many times i've woken up that day and "i dont wana" ... a heavy dose of shame accompanies knowing better and still screwing up. I've accepted that i think deep and feel deep, but i can argue my way back into positive light when i take something harshly, i know the other person didnt mean it that way and i dont my meanings are incorrect
there is one more thing that idk if u guys are experiencing but like difficults on talking not small or quick but in generall statment sometimes to me its just hard to build words toghter and another one is about opening like its hard to open up to talk about my issues to someone idont mean i have debression or anxiety but in general its hard to open and talk about these thing i would prefeer to ponder alone and find solussion for it rather than talk to someone about it i really dont get it its just so comblicated
Give this video to your mum..tell her to watch it 2 times..it's a cure..th-cam.com/video/jtNkoWzXD14/w-d-xo.html
Btw to the ladies question about how clinicians know if it’s a not other emotional disorder or adhd.......
I think based on what I know and how I feel and have observed that 80 HD will often present itself as totally engrossed and interested in something or...... Being Bored/ frustrated /impatient and wanting to escape that disinterested response emotion
Ad80 lol (taking into my phone)
Oh yeah. ADHD times hormonal cycles can take you down, episode after episode. Everyone gets tired. So you say to yourself, “of course! I don’t blame you in the least! I’ll be over here, just sitting on my hands for the next ten years. Hope you retain a few good memories of our friendship and love.”
Lack of ignition to excellerate movement into the important task at hand. ADD impairment. Working memory weakness. ADD also. We also can not make & Keeping trustworthy FRIENDS to lean on for caregivers assistance to help us WAKE UP, & or make sure we get to an appointment on time. Friends burn out. They want US to act more grown UP, MATURE Behaviors. Interdependent, accountable conduct.
So SO imbarrassing to have a NERVOUS ANXIOUS & ADD IMPAIRED medical conditions. We want SOCIAL Community trustworthy FRIENDS, also. Truly. Can someone experienced shine the LIGHT ON US ??? PLEASE??
Thank you for doing this channel. I don’t think that you have ADHD (it doesn’t seem like it)But you seem to really understand it pretty well better than a lot of people who have it. At least you can explain it better. It’s real tough for a lot of people to understand things that they don’t experience. I think I could help you out with some perspective on a few of these issues. For example one thing that I’ve never ever had a problem with is the explosive emotions or getting mad at someone and saying some thing I don’t mean in fact I’m quite good at doing the opposite I think possibly the reason is because I learned that it works and he can’t take back anything that you said just out of being angry and if you look at it like a challenge or a game when you’re in a fight with someone you will always always win if you don’t let your emotions control what you do and say. And if you watch the other personNot controlling themselves and knowing that you’re winning just purely based on that it kind of gets rid of the need to yell and scream. It only takes a couple times I doing this until you realize how well it works and it turns into kind of a fun little twisted game but nonetheless it’s better than exploding and then regretting it or having some consequences or holes in the wall. I feel like I found a secret that no one else knows about when it comes to arguments but it’s really obvious and I told people it’s just for some reason they can’t do it. I guess I don’t understand that just like some people don’t understand things that I have a hard time with but maybe that way of thinking About it could help.
Smart but stuck sounds good… I’ve been to therapist in the past and the one most memorable part is when one therapist wants told me That probably the reason why I was so bored in school and get bored so easily is because I’m really really smart and things just come easy and once I learned I get bored .....so I was going around thinking I’m like some kind of genius until I discovered recently that it was not “ Genius“ 😒it was ADHD.
After that there was one other memorable part and that was when she told me that she could not help me and it would not be right to continue seeing me because I’m too smart and I already know all the stuff and there’s nothing more she can do basically gave up on me. And she was right to do that because I didn’t know everything she was telling me and it was boring to sit there and listen to her try to figure things out that I couldn’t even figure out and I knew me better than anybody. She also couldn’t make me do these things that I didn’t want to do because she wasn’t there with me when I wasn’t in therapy with her ...there was no gun to my head. I always thought her assignments that were dumb and I already knew that they weren’t going to help because she wasn’t even looking at the right issuesWhich she also agreed on later but it was just a big waste of money and time and then I felt like after that nobody could help me because she wasn’t the first person I went to and I got sick of explaining things from the beginning all over again. It wasn’t till recently till I discovered this on my own on TH-cam that it was ADHD but my mom and brother both got diagnosed with but I never was diagnosed with it they just never thought I had it so I never thought I had it never even considered it I thought it was a problem learning and I have no problem learning I’m a fast learner..... if I want to learn it
So anyway I didn’t think I had eggs I guess I didn’t know what it was truly and now that I’m learning more and more it’s good to know that there’s an explanation for why I am the way I am but ....I still am and that sucks
Sorry for venting here this got longer than I meant it to be thanks for making this channel though
I very much appreciate your input as it is so valuable to learn how you are affected by you condition and how you cope with it.
Well, at least you can focus more than 10 minutes to write this comment, but me I can't focus that long.
I am so amazed by what I am hearing. My 17 year old son has ADHD and I can relate to “got to have it now and worrying”. Especially now since he’s trying to join a basketball team in his school but is being denied because he was recently transferred from another school. I am currently looking for a counselor for him because he has lost his motivation for going to school. I live in Michigan do you have any suggestions for a counselor?
Are there other basketball teams he can join besides just the school? Other sports? He’ll feel better being on a team but not if he’s rejected and shunned by school and/or team mates even if he’s very good at it. [this is based on my experience, so keep that with a grain of salt, but being on a team with ppl that are welcoming allows for blossoming of talents that are already existing ].
I wasn't diagnosed until 2013 in my 50's. I'm a joiner. A motivated optimist who's the first person to say Hi my name is... I'm very lucky in that I don't have depression. Yet in a way I've kinda felt as if I was isolated from the rest of my friends and I have many. We've kept in touch. They know they can vent with me and that I'm a vault.
I'm a much better person on meds. I have great trouble getting started. I have tasks I've pot off my spouse says he can do it in ten minutes but it would be all wrong. I need to organize things by date and locate other things. Stack things in order he says he'll just throw it all away. I have returns & need things he doesn't understand and yes if I had a gun to my head I could properly get it all done in 20 minutes and we could eat at the table again..
I've had trouble reading all my life. I'm a slow reader. I have to Make myself comprehend it. I invented different ways to add in grade school. I never understood word problems. Especially those where the Traub is leaving at 5pm going 50mph what time will it arrive at a certain place. I never understood the need to know these things. I was and always have been very perceptive. I almost remember every day of my life back to around 5 to 8mo old. I've always had a good sense of who I am in the world able to predict future problems if certain things are not in place or done correctly. I'm not psychic. I don't know what "it" is. It's just that I used to think everyone could predict future problems if people didn't follow thru with someone's health care. Double check to make certain a prescription was correctly filled. In essence never assume someone did their job correctly. I always have tp check things myself I've caught so many medical errors people have made.
Is the need to always double check everything an Add thing or is it a behavior that's been taught? My grandparents and parents checked things. Does everyone or am I blowing something out of proportion?
It sounds as though you have some OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) tendencies - which is more common in people with ADHD.
Diagnosed at age 40 was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at a young age, Aspergers at 23. Now the NDIS who were funding my social activities for my health are refusing to fund it and ruined my life
I was sooooo excited by a great opportunity that I ghosted it!
Would appreciate some references of ADHD experts in Montreal
In California I had 3 30mg adderall that worked well. I moved 600 miles away to Nevada and they only prescribe 2 a day. It's not enough. Sometimes I need 60mh to get up. Sometimes i need to extend my day and take one at 5pm or later. I also had XR in California.
Is this a state law or has the dea changed the doses?
Everyone's body system is different. Medication needs to be designed around a particular individual
You can't tell patients 2 a day is all you get. That's it. ???
My wife and daughter left me last year. They couldn't take it anymore. Another ADHD failure. This comes shortly after burning out for the third and final time as a truck driver. I know I have ADHD now.
Get a diagnosis and some meds/help, before it's too late. Call on monday.
That is sad to hear. However, having some space and time to just look after you might be a good thing?
I have started to think that many /most of the negative traits we tend to view in people as ‘personality’ flaws are most likely the result of a health or neurological condition or the result of complex post traumatic stress disorder from childhood (which are v similar to adhd). We judge our partners, family and workmates and make assumptions like they have moral failings - eg are lazy, uncaring, careless, selfish, grumpy, inconsiderate etc etc - but the reality is often more likely that they are fatigued, feel unwell, are low in dopamine, serotonin, feel depressed, have anxiety, insomnia - etc etc. But when you’re both on the receiving end of these behaviours and are also trying to cope with your own issues, maintaining relationships can be very difficult.
Emotional dysregulation empath over here
Has there been a study about ADHD in an aging adult and the possible link between ADHD and dementia?
There are studies. There's is no relation in general.
How can I contact you? I'm from Italy. Almost nobody here takes any responsilility to diagnose against dsm5. Specially for children
Nobody suspected ADHD in me despite a two month stay in a mental health inpatient unit following the loss of my dad and two poly pharmacy overdoses.
A later ADHD diagnosis came from a consultant psychologist particularly attuned to the ADHD in a number of his clients that are are often in trouble with the law.
I was hoping the Ritalin would give me a calm brain.
Hi there! I understand completely. I take adderall and now Lexapro. I’m finding the combination to be super helpful.
@@anonplussedhuman5149 I’m on Lexapro for Anxiety have been for 20 years