I was diagnosed with ADD in 2009, or now known as ADHD of the inattentive type. I’ve been depressed for years, and I still am, but in the last year I found a group of friends that made me feel loved for the first time in my life. A way my self deprecating brain never believed could be possible. A way my family, nor anyone ever made me feel before. My brain, of course, hyper fixates on them, and everything they’ve done for me. Every single time I text or talk to one of them, I always go down this mental rabbit hole which leads me to believe I made the wrong choice in talking to them, as I annoyed them or they didn’t want to hear anything from me. These imagined scenarios bother me for months, to the point where I started avoiding seeing the people that saved me, out of fear of a scenario that only exists in my head. I wish my brain would just relax, but my constant convoluted thoughts never end.
I was diagnosed at 44 and always told I was a space cadet with a bad temper. Now while the meds make me calmer and seem to make me sleep better than ever I cried when I realized how much of my life had been damaged by ADHD. But I look forward with hope I often wonder where I would be now if I had not destroyed nearly every relationship I have ever been in.
I'm 22, soon to be in my final year of university and i'm only just coming to terms with having ADHD and everything that comes with it. Hopefully, i can get myself on the right medication and speak to the right people before i encounter the same struggles.
I’d rather be alone then try to have any type of relationship. I just can’t handle the rejection or disapproval even though I know I’m lovable and deserve love and can give love. People just can’t stand who I am and how hard I actually try to be like I was socially condition to strive towards
I feel the same. My family and friends just don't get me and its difficult for people to understand me. I've found my love relationships especially challenging.
I have struggled with something similar. Confidence may be the underlying issue. Stand up straight to show you can be combative, do not let other people put you down. The higher you put yourself in a dominance hierarchy the better your emotions will be regulated. That doesn't mean take control of your peers. It means follow your desires with pinpoint accuracy, it means make yourself the best you can be. Then serotonin will increase, your emotions will be better regulated and you can be more confident in speaking with other people, in turn reducing your impulsivity when interacting so you can say what you really mean.
As a grown person with adhd, talking helps a lot just listen to him explain what he feels and he feels at the moment. I know it can get tiring but it helps your control his issues more, if he still has those problems.
I get it. I’ve lived undiagnosed for 40 years loosing jobs, girlfriends wives homes yada yada yada. No I’ve been on meds for 8 years now. But still struggle and piss off my wonderful fiancée and find myself apologizing way to much. No doubt adhd just sucks really bad. I’ve tried so hard my whole life to get ahead but keep failing. I’m really sick of this shit that people call adhd and also there are too many people that believe adhd isn’t real.
I feel you I'm only 23 but I want to save my marriage and I just feel like I'm drowning at this point and it sucks but praying does help me through rough, hopefully it helps you too.
I am extremely analytical and do very poorly with abstract thinking. I am more of a concrete thinker. But what really throws me out in left field is when people lie to me that drives me absolutely insane because I am unable to process that type of thinking. My mind just shuts down its unable to make any sense out of the equation. I lack abstract thinking equation.
Dr Brown has a fine sense of humour when giving examples of what he explains, and it creates a relaxed atmosphere in the audience, I'm sure. If he treats his "patients" in the same manner, I'm sure all goes well.
Dr, you are not only a doctor and a scientist on the topic of ADHD, but you are also a human being with a heart of gold, a person with a brain which is seriously concerned with the welfare of individuals suffering from a particular brain- neurons problem (and their families), an expert who blends his subject knowledge with compassion, love, patience, intricate understanding, etc etc.... Oh... I fall short of vocabulary to appreciate you! This is purely a service unto mankind. When you are talking, it doesn't seem like a person merely trying to sell a book or further his practice using the new social media and stuff. It seems like a very intelligent, kind and a trustworthy elderly uncle, a best friend who has your welfare at heart and... well, trying to help an ADHD ( should I say victim?) 🤔🙏🙏🙏 GOD BLESS YOU!
What a brilliant mind this man is.. Just amazing. I am searching for all his videos. I was never diagnosed with ADHD. It's so amazing listening to his speech, I literally hit every single marker for ADHD and I have been suffering with this for 6 decades. It's quite an epiphany to suddenly find out that this was my problem for all these years.
It feels so comforting to hear someone who has ADHD talking about not just the difficulties and issues we face (due respect to Dr. Barkley, but the man tends to focus very aggressively on these parts of the ADHD experience, and really does not care if anyone in the audience abreacts to the information - not a terrible approach for a researcher but it makes me glad he's not a clinician) but also solutions and potentials for us to bring to our daily life.
I came across this video in a moment of a somewhat panic as I recognized myself becoming trapped within an emotion and hoping for a healthy distraction. Obviously I scored big time due to it's relevance so far. I've never been diagnosed although going back to childhood I can relate to near every associated marker that i've learned of. The abuse, both physical and verbal that i experienced at home because of these traits has had an impact as well regardless of forgiveness and the desire to move on. I'm now 46 and with my kids grown and the ending of a long relationship I am struggling in ways i've not known before.... It's as if the guidelines were removed and i'm no longer reliable, hireable, and sometimes even lovable. With that said, I am thankful that my temper is not explosive, at least toward others, and I am learning to implement boundaries for more well balanced relationships, but when pushed to far I seem to crumble....which again is exactly what has lead me to this moment. So thank you. This upload has benefitted be greatly....except maybe the reference to the idea of hitting kids in the car. Going to check out some more of your insights now. Thanks again C♥︎
God bless you, C! I can relate to a lot that you've written. I'm 72 & in couples counseling with my husband who has Aspergers Syndrome. Wow, life requires a learning posture forever, it seems! May God or your Higher Power guide you!
I have ADHD and being an adrenaline junkie explains a lot. I was a drug mule for 6 yrs, I loved the excitement. now at 70, I have slowed down. no ambition of being a mule again. I do love making the mountain dew. in the past I have been fired several times for telling the boss just what I thought of them.
When I'm going down a hyperfocus rabbit hole, I FEEL the TH-cam meme where the guy yells "I don't know what an HD is but my doctor just called and said I got 80 of 'em!"
This is so true. I've been misdiagnosed over and over and over again because of the misunderstanding of ADHD. They need to fix this. I went through so much horrible stuff because of this and almost died more than once. ADHD is the most misunderstood mental illness today.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 yes... My cousin is schizophrenic and so are a few of my friends. 2 years ago my friend committed suicide because he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I understand it is very misunderstood by the general public, but it is understood well by the medical community. ADHD is horribly misunderstood by everyone including the public and so-called experts in psychology and psychiatry. I'm not trying to lessen the suffering of anyone else by saying this. I've just found it to be true. Sadly schizophrenics have suffered far more due to stereotypes and I am not ever going to deny that.
I have been (mis)diagnosed with almost the whole DSM mood spectrum for 50 years including bipolar disorder. ADHD was only diagnosed a few years ago and medicated but not really discussed. Now it’s recognized in adults and and treated.
I have just found Dr. Brown's work and am listening to Smart, but Stuck on Audible and I so wish I had found it before now. Our son is 18 and it explains so much. I hope that by sharing this in a loving way with our son that he can be able to take more of a role in wanting work with his emotions.
I play solitaire while watching youtube videos and I'm able to hang on to every word. If not it's absolutely torturous. That's unless something really grabs my attention or needs to be viewed in entirety, then I go back and rewatch it completely tuned in.
@@hanskraut2018 it doesn't necessarily have to mean you think a lot when you're saying your brains going a 100mph. Sometimes it genuinely feels like there's a motor in your mind that just running regardless of thoughts in your head
SLOW DOWN Dr. Brown, you’re describing waaaaaaay too much of my emotional life in a 20 minute lecture Kidding of course, please keep up the excellent work you do for folks like me
My mother had ADHD, my two brothers and now my daughter diagnosed. I'd never heard of it but now at 63 having done 1000 jobs a day and achieving little, so depressing, I realise at least I should get a diagnosis for my lack of success.
So true. Im the apathic guy who gives up to easily. I failed my drivers test when I was 18 and thought:" oh well, I guess I'll be walking for the rest of my life" I took it up again when I was 31, but my mother had to push me to get it done.
I have adhd and i too gives up very easily my father pushed me to get the driving license even though i fail several times finally after my license i got a job from airport as a bus driver had an accident on 2nd month on the job,i cried on the way home that day,never went to work there after that,never had a relationship,been my whole life pleasing friends and family and they all use me for their gains. My only dream is to live alone in a remote place where no one lives and worship god and die in peace
This is the same as me. What strategies do you have coz lists don’t work for me i lose my notes and if i find them my writing is so bad sometimes I can’t read what i have written.
I was misdiagnosed as having bipolar personality disorder - my questionaire answers and a short interview were considered a sufficient indication to the psychiatrist and that was the box I fitted into at the time. It wasnt until someone I know suggested I might have adhd that I considered it and researched it. Now at nearly 50 I atlast know thats exactly what I have - the hyperactivity part of it is what threw me from considering this for so long and the fact that it never adversely affected me in childhood. I would say many adults are misdiagnosed or never properly diagnosed at all.
I tell you my family are the ones who bring it out in me and pick at me the most. I relate to everything this guy says! Only diagnosed as an adult recently and now contemplating motherhood amidst the chaos and completely overwhelmed. the meds might seem to help but severely upset my heart rate and breathing long after stopping. I also became severely underweight and have grave worries for the future. I only hope for non pharmeceutical help. Looking back i can see how i was always this way and very nearly have died many times!! Far out.
My kids are grown now. But when they where babies was the most stressful time of my life. I was not diagnosed until I was 40. Now with meds most days a great
A kid. It's actually really good ADHD and children. I'm doing pretty good unmedicated. It took a month or so but now I can eat and sleep.and main thing.. breathe.. my baby is sorting me out actually. The meds and aftermath made everything worse so no thanks. I think it's like autism and there's spectrums and other ways to manage it, utilise it even. Vents. I don't think it's a flaw & have given up ever trying to.fit in long ago. I'm an awesome parent. Sure organisation is the thing but I impress myself how fast I'm learning. The pills and no sleep made me have a seizure when I first got here level 4 lockdown. Terrible aftermath. I'll never take meds 4 being a bit different again. No way. I'd rather live. They ruin your heart too.
@@existamixa good for you..if you can manage it without medication then that"s great , personally I think most meds just cause more problems. If you have somebody close who you trust that can monitor you to some extent and give you honest, nonjudgemental feedback on your progress then that would be really helpful. Best of luck with motherhood, it's not always easy( and I mean for everyone) but you can be a good mother like ayone else.
I'm not diagnosed but I have all the signs and it's just getting worse and worse(because i have more and more stuff to DO/more pressure)My aunt has it tho and My Mom also has all THE signs but doesn't want to get diagnosed
Hi! Before I was diagnosed in my early 50’s,as having ADD/Inattentive type, I recall driving with my two sons, 7 & 9 yrs old, picking on one another, trying to punch, or kick the other, and I would warn them to stop, or else, and they didn’t, so I reached my arm back to try and land a slap to each one on the leg, and trying to watch the road, and they made me angrier by moving their legs out of the way of my hand! I found their ability to avoid getting legs slapped,( I knew if it was me, I would take the opportunity, lol) and so I just started laughing, and they joined in, and it calmed me down, and they became settled down.
Does dbt work? adhd and dyslexic. Feels like I did a quantum leap and am in a different dimension. Nothing is familiar anymore and it's exhausting, depressing and almost futile.
How do you find a therapist/ councilor to help with guidance for adhd. Ive asked my doctor ive searched for it and i can't find any one that doesn't act like i just want drugs or something. I don't want that i already take medicine for it i want someone to help mentally guide me through it and help my kids deal with the understanding of being raised by a single mother with adhd
my son had to be tested when he was 5 by a child counselor that specialized in adhd. then i and his dad had to fill out questioners about our son . then he was watched and asked to complete task and other things by the specialist. then before he was put on meds we had to take an 8 week class on adhd and how it affects children and how to deal with it. it took some time for him to be diagnosed . call a child psychiatrist around you and ask them what to do.
There's not really many specialists for ADHD around. Most doctors are really just there to help manage symptoms with medications. If you want help with functioning you should go see a therapist at a mental health clinic. It might take a while to find the right one but they are there to help dig deep and even allow your family to come if you want.
Taking meds is the most crucial part of treating ADHD. If you want some other ways, try visiting Buddhist temple near you and try learning meditation in a very professional way. Another medical way u can get help from is cognitive therapy. Try finding a specialist who specifies his/her spectrum in cognitive therapy.
Look up ADHD Coaching. These people are specifically trained in everything but medication for living well with ADHD. Some issues after years of misdiagnosis may need a therapist; but many are about how to live better with the limitations of ADHD. Check them out, I'm checking through them myself at the moment.
This was very helpful. I’m definitely a stew on it all day/make a full movie about it in my head person. It drives me nuts, I hate it but don’t know how to make it stop
I wonder if there is any connection (in adults) between some (if not all) ADHD individuals and certain Borderline Personalities. I do see some of these traits (esp. the high drive for emotional intensity and thrill-seeking) in BPD sufferers.
Erna, this is a very important point. Yes, ADHD may be correlated with other, often multiple psychiatric/psychological disorders. This is why talking to a real expert and seeking professional help and treatment can be a life-changer for both ADHD, and the other disorder, in this case BPD.
🤔 🤦🏻♀️Great 🤯, I have many of these things . All with the apathy aspect ….no motivation. 55 YEARS now . ADD with poor memory aspects - Attention Deficit Disorder with the poor memory aspects . PTSD from childhood abuses , depression from childhood Blah Blah Blah. It drives me crazy , not being able to think straight . Some days it’s a brain fog 😶🌫️. Other day’s it’s a continuous jumping from one thing to the next as I pass from one room to the next … Sometimes my body feels like it made from lead - and I’m walking chest deep through water . And I can’t leave the house 🤦🏻♀️🤷🤯 ….it’s soul crushing . I just feel so lost in this world . I don’t like being around people . They talk so much and say so little . Then in the moments I’m grumpy and intolerant , sometimes I can see it happening and I can’t stop it . I don’t have the financial resources to pay for mental health help , To go the once a year psychologist FOR the mandatory ADD MEDICATION review cost $500+ Australian dollars …+ a 100 dollar 6 months script renewal 🤦🏻♀️ WHTF , often …i just can’t get the medication . Then , if I do get it . I’ll forget to take the ADD medication So it lasts longer ….so I forget to get the next script filled ….then the script will lapse. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤯 . On and on it goes . It’s so draining . This stuff is so informative …it’s a shame it’s not mainstream educational knowledge . I find it extremely difficult to do things I enjoy - never mind things that need doing . I would like some answers - some measure of hope that ican be fixed . Just doing this little bit of text has taken me an hour 🤯 .
It's hard to concentrate when someone isnt facing me especially in videos like this it's just hard cause if your not facing my then how am I supposed to concentrate
Can anyone answer that people with adhd feel overly indecisive and too much concerned when it comes to love reletionships too, besides with general symptoms?
Definitely Top down behaviors-obsessively thinking about things that bother me all day, I always say it can reset once i go to sleep, trying to control my anger and impulsivity so such a degree and eventually I blurt things out or react, if something stresses me, I can literally see a horror movie in my imagination.
I'm feel so worst now I get so irritated with my love ones when I feel disrespected, like when I feel like my wife interrupts me when I'm talking i get so pissed and then it turns into a back and forth argument and I blame myself for it because I have adhd and I've always felt like this since I was a child, I wish I could just be normal and not be so confused and misread what people say to me and get offended so easily. I hate it so much I feel like I ruin a lot things because how I am. But watching this helps me understand myself and others like me and also what to watch out for, so hopefully I can prevent it in the future.
What I have noticed as I've gotten older, I'm 29, diagnosed and medicated since age 6 to current date, is that while the medication continues to play a HUGE role in motivation and attention, it's also beginning to feel as though it's feeding the anger and feeding the reaction before the thought. That's just for me, not everyone will say or agree with that.
That might mean you need a new medication..finding the right one for me took awhile but when I finally did I feel overall a lot less reactive and logical
I wonder how much, or how often, an underlying traumatic experience, short - or long-lived, can be a cause of developing ADHD or Asperger. I've had a brother-in-law, who was diagnosed with Asperger, after my sister demanded counseling, when she found out that her husband left her in the cold, emotionally. He was intelligent, and was known by the strict religious congregation as a "man with a gift of the word of God" for he always talked and preached the word of the Bible. He was a karate-teacher with his own sport-school, and his pupils, after the lessons, were sitting on the mats, while he played the guitar, and sang songs with them in praise of God. But.... and here's the key, I think, to his inability to engage on a personal level, leaving God and the Bible out of it. His parents lived in a terrible marriage battleground, while also deeply engaged in Bible study and church services. It's how my sister met her husband. In church. All the children of this couple are disturbed in some way, after growing up in that battle of their parents. I've met the father a few times, during my sister's wedding, and in the years after. This man had a sinister and weird atmosphere about him, very dark. I couldn't feel any sympathy for this man. The influence of the church was so strong, that divorce was unthinkable. What God brought together, had to stay together. That religious faith is one of the most strict, and fanatic beliefs in the Netherlands. There's a part of the Netherlands, where these people live, it's called the Bible-belt. That's where my sister lived with her husband, raising 5 kids. The 90's. The kids had to come in a natural way, the women must obey their husbands when they want sex. When the 5th child was 12 years old, my sister divorced her husband. After counselling, and after her husband was diagnosed with Asperger. He didn't co-operate, turned dishonest, mean, and tried to sabotage all procedures. He took a new wife immediately, and my sister was treated as a foreigner in her own community, even by those who sat in church with her. She was ostracised, while her husband was spoken of as the one who suffered from the treatment of my sister. He felt great about it. Now, is there a connection between this man's upbringing, and his behaviour as a husband, and father? Two of his 5 children are living with difficult issues, and can't seem to get a grip on their life. I wonder if these issues are all connected through 3 generations, and if there's been a member of this family in these 3 generations, who has read this Bible text with that in mind: Deuteronomium 5:9 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me". It seems, that those living on a battlefield, held such anger and hatred, that God had no place in their hearts. Although their mouths could speak Bible words fluently. As a cover-up maybe?
13:58 The speaker, talking about kids misbehaving in the backseat of a car, indicates “who deserve to be backhanded”….say whaaaaat? This guys says something like this every time I watch him in a video.
Self control has a key to this I know I have ADD do not have the hyperactivity disorder but I know you have to keep control a lot of self control it's not easy and I know that it is definitely controllable
Takes away like 70% of your finite discipline. This amount could be used more productively. Also hyperactivity might not be external but internal. I get hyperactive sometimes but mostly it's in my thoughts. They just won't shut up or organise unless I use my finite willpower.
Also you might have ADHD lite. I'm extremely motivated and have enough guts and willpower to share but using it to control myself burned me out before 25. Luckily I stumbled upon his video because I was curious about ADHD and self-diagnosed immediately. Now waiting for meds and their life-changing effects. After multiple talks with psychologists it's like I see for the first time how extensive the damage ADHD has done over the years was. Actually it's part of ADHD to be almost blind to your own shortcomings while people around you notice them for sure.
He’s fantastic, boy he can tell a story. I love his humour even though it’s a serious subject it’s good to be able to laugh at your self, but most times living with ADHD is seriously hard. We need more Dr Browns out there.
This guy who sat down at the table next to mine in a café that I was working from, and then proceeded to start watching a football match from his phone without headphones.
Easily frustrated, hot temper, angry responses to most things, yep. ADHD husband is this way, but doesn't believe he is. Denial. He thinks he has "control" over his emotions, he doesn't. To him, "emotional" means to be crying about something. He doesn't include anger in the "emotion" category. But he won't learn about his condition even though he's on Concerta for it. ADHD denial is real also.
Watch his other video( "ADHD in Teens and Adults 2010" - I think). The anger, frustration and temper may be because 1) the dose is too high for him (if it's happening during the day) or 2) he is "crashing" when the medicine drops off in the afternoon ! there are solutions for both! Good Luck!
@@PearlyTuxedowithLunaSky ???? Medication makes no difference. Either on or off it many people have the same emotional issues. I see that it might make it worse in some cases but this isn't just a medication side effect. To me it sounds like her husband sadly has been conditioned to believe men are not emotional or should not be emotional. And when his wife tells him he is, it probably triggers his rejection dysphoria, making the emotions worse. It's like a cycle that makes itself worse. I hope it gets better :( it's sad that men, and adults in general really, are made to feel like emotions are bad and we shouldn't have them
The right medication can definitely make a difference in emotional regulation. I’ve experienced it personally and in my child. That being said, learning to help yourself regulate with trained assistance is also very helpful. And many men have been conditioned to not even recognize or acknowledge their feelings (but the same can also be true for some women). Life experience can help or exacerbate ADHD symptoms.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 Not everyone cares about perfect grammar. This kind of thing used to drive me nuts too, but people have their own ways and are entitled to them. You even said, 'you kidding me' , hardly proper English. Colloquial language has its place, as long as it's understood. Chill a bit. Judgement never helps anyone. While of course you are entitled to your preferences, judgement will alienate you and others.
I feel my conundrums stem from, despite being told I am quite the "Impressively abstract" thinker, that since I am not the one who generated any of the dots that I connect, that the connections are something like obvious, because if they weren't, I would not have seen them, which has me arriving at something more akin to an imposter syndrome by-product From ADHD? It's like, I am capable of reading between the lines of contexts and stringing them together, like what riddles and metaphors accomplish, except I'm doing it on an industrial scale, but then when I go to discuss this with people, they give me energy like I am brilliant, but I never move forward with my ideas because I doubt their validity, because it feels like I did not earn them, and then I arrive at something like chronic procrastination instead. The thing that is generating the good is also generating the not so good, So I am something like in the middle of an existential cognitive dissonance, which makes sense since I say, I am chronically torn in life between respecting people while also trying not to care what others think. I have been called the Jersey Shore version of Russell Brand / Ben Shapiro because at the rate of which I speak, I use Peach to text software because I get anxiety seeing how slow my fingers type, I read at 750 wpm (with software), I listen to audiobook / podcasts at 3.5x daily while at the gym (depends on the speaker), I am 38 and have not taken medication since I am 10 years old. I am in the throes of stitching together a high concept business proposal for shark tank, which I cannot for the life of me feel is anywhere near what I would consider, "Almost perfect", and I am admittedly overwhelmed by myself at this point, that I am once again subconsciously procrastinating by looking at this video instead of Welding contexts back at the lab :( .........Long story short, I would say my number one feeling of lack has been Friends that can keep up with the mental stamina required to juggle the systems thinking that is my Polymath soul.
I watched an expert on ADD, ADHD it had 7 types of ADD, ADHD each one has to treated with different meds, given a person the common go to meds for ADHD can end very bad for the wrong person could make them suicidal etc... all types of bad outcomes. It takes a good examination to figure what is going on not a rush job .
So this is why I give up on women so easily, once they start playing games (referring to the rat pellet part), also why I overthink things, and some of the ambivalence I have, and the "borderline precognition" level of reflexes.
Not at all easy to do, but meditation before anxiety-producing events (like visiting family) helps with regulation during that event. Haven’t watched the whole video; sorry if this is repeating something already discussed.
@@bryanutility9609 Ha. Bryan, not sure what you mean by “there is something else going on” but lots of people have very - sometimes extremely - difficult families. You are quite lucky - though rather insulated - if you don’t even know anyone for whom that’s the case.
Another example of this headfuk problem . I finally got the script sorted that I should have done bye May 2022 🤯 it’s now march 2023 🤦🏻♀️ I was going to pick it up first thing this morning …. It’s now 3pm in Western Australia ,and I haven’t left the house 🤦🏻♀️ ….I feel like I’m in a constant state of time distortion …. Or alien abduction time loss people talk about . 🤦🏻♀️👁☹️
Funny the cookies were mentioned 😂. I’ve only just realised at 39 I may have this . Diets have been the hardest thing ever to follow: .Theyre hard enough for the non ADD . To us it’s pure torture 😂😂✌️
I think my partner is misdiagnosed with ADHD and as a partner Jesus Christ there are times I feel like I am walking on egg shells in my own home. Anything can set a blow up with him and he can be so hurtful and vile. I try and ignore it and tell myself it’s his ADHD but it is mentally and emotionally draining
This sounds exactly like my situation. I was on the brink of divorce. As a Christian, I can’t walk away but can’t live in such turmoil. I suggest you start searching for videos on how adhd affects marriage. And on strategies spouses can use to help their adhd partner. It has helped me immensely. I also make my husband watch these videos and it helps him understand what I go through.
@@dottjohnson2232 thank you I will do that. Thankfully I am not married but I do have old fashion belief’s you stay and support your partner not just give up and walk away but as I said I somedays I could just kill him. He had a phone call from a nurse and she is going to refer him but the wait is 2-3 years…joke
That could be Auditory Hallucinations. Look for some videos on You Tube then you can explain the symptoms to your doctor. Some videos that could be helpful are Food Allergies, Schizophrenia or Types of seizures.
I fell in love recently with a girl she’s so hot and cold one day she really likes me the next I might not even hear from her. I just came out of 8 years with a covert narcissist I’m damaged inside my whole life view changed severe depression episodes I keep to myself with all that but I have expressed to her how ignored I feel and how hurt she makes me feel and she like changes the Subject. When she’s with me I can tell she likes me her family has said recently I’m all she talks about yet In this brand new love I feel I’ve never experienced someone who can feel that but not want to be constantly talking with or being with the person. After spending 8 years with the devil and nearly losing my life she showed me love is possible and there is someone out there but I wish it was her I just can’t take it anymore and I’ve warned her I am going to snap eventually I wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone els I give her chance after chance I don’t judge her I treat her like a queen I’m trying to push her to go in and get this treated I know deep down it’s a matter of days before I have to completely cut her out of my life and I’m so depressed about it because I love her and care about her so much but I have so much love to give and I need to feel vauled. I’ve ruined 3 potential relationships that started before her I blew them all off for her to just blow me off the next night.
Since ADHD was discovered in the 18th century, the men and boys especially who were diagnosed, were Slave masters' who had hostile and violent behaviors towards slaves and others who were not accepted. Now ADHD and ODD have passed on to their family tree and generations, that topics about has to be clinical for non-accountability.
Hey Tommy, Here is a question. We are told there is an epidemic of ADHD in the USA. William Dodson says 10% of the population have it. Ned Hallowell says 15% have it. In some states it is 20-30% of children diagnosed, most are on stimulant drugs. Yet children in the USA are the fattest and most overweight in the western world. I don't remember seeing many fat kids when I was a kid. Now they were everywhere. So how can there be an obesity epidemic and an hyperactivity epidemic? If there was then these kids would be burning the fat off!!! Maybe we should solve both by sending kids out to play instead of being on social media or computers etc.
Different kids lol. ADHD wasn't a problem until recent times, because we weren't as interconnected and jobs didn't require long term planning. Or serious specialization for that matter. Kids are sedentary, gen X did away with school PE because they hated losing, and foods are highly palatable, calorie dense and thus cause low satiety. Combine these and you get fat kids who die at 40 of heart attack.
Wait a minute, The two kids are in the back seat and fighting with one another. I get that in heavy traffic a parent might become angry, mostly because they are distracted at a time when you need to be focused but the "kids deserve to be backhanded"? What are you saying, backhanding kids is okay? Maybe I misunderstand but it is never appropriate to backhand a kid. Never. I am surprised and disappointed that he would say such a thing and give an impression that he thinks that is okay.
He never said that he backhanded children once he was home. Maybe you missed the point of the video. Maybe you got caught on that one point and didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying. ADD causes you to have immediate reactions/thoughts. It’s an impulse, not necessarily an action. For me, I would have an overly aggressive thought in a high stress situation like that. Unfortunately for someone who already feels a constant underlying stress, adding in heavy traffic and screaming children is a triple whammy and at that point you feel like you will explode. In that situation you just desperately want to remove a stressor. Not that you would ever do that after rethinking the thought. Impulsive thoughts are usually a given with ADD/ADHD.
@@Whatsup-1234 I kind of agree with you Rose about a lot of what you wrote. I don't think I missed the point of the video though. You notice that I say that maybe I misunderstand but I tried to write a comment that would give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed that he was suggesting that a backhand was appropriate.
Okay, somewhere is a grass-cutter thing. That's untakable and i cant conzentrate on this or to better this one comment. And i like the subways cookies too
Drugging children for supposed behavior/focus issues is a Crime Against Humanity. The child has no choice in the matter yet has to suffer the consequences well into adulthood. Most the time the child finds themselves being prescribed additional drugs to combat the side effects of the initial drug & this often times last well into adulthood. Our system introduces children into addiction before they even enter Middle School. How is this not a crime against humanity? - American Intermediary
I was diagnosed with ADD in 2009, or now known as ADHD of the inattentive type. I’ve been depressed for years, and I still am, but in the last year I found a group of friends that made me feel loved for the first time in my life. A way my self deprecating brain never believed could be possible. A way my family, nor anyone ever made me feel before.
My brain, of course, hyper fixates on them, and everything they’ve done for me. Every single time I text or talk to one of them, I always go down this mental rabbit hole which leads me to believe I made the wrong choice in talking to them, as I annoyed them or they didn’t want to hear anything from me. These imagined scenarios bother me for months, to the point where I started avoiding seeing the people that saved me, out of fear of a scenario that only exists in my head. I wish my brain would just relax, but my constant convoluted thoughts never end.
I was diagnosed at 44 and always told I was a space cadet with a bad temper. Now while the meds make me calmer and seem to make me sleep better than ever I cried when I realized how much of my life had been damaged by ADHD. But I look forward with hope I often wonder where I would be now if I had not destroyed nearly every relationship I have ever been in.
I'm 22, soon to be in my final year of university and i'm only just coming to terms with having ADHD and everything that comes with it. Hopefully, i can get myself on the right medication and speak to the right people before i encounter the same struggles.
Space cadet with bad temper is great way to put it. Also i think so fast that i only say half loud.
Mourn as needed. Then live. We all know what you are feeling. It sucks but (when you can) imagine if you were never diagnosed and treated.
You have to see it that way: With ADHD relationships got a inbuild self-destruction mechanism, no matter the hard you try.
@@jcmangan Very true mate very true, but not hopeless.Hard but doable. I like to remind myself how boring it must be to be neurotically.
I’d rather be alone then try to have any type of relationship. I just can’t handle the rejection or disapproval even though I know I’m lovable and deserve love and can give love. People just can’t stand who I am and how hard I actually try to be like I was socially condition to strive towards
Char Lamb exactly
I feel the same. My family and friends just don't get me and its difficult for people to understand me. I've found my love relationships especially challenging.
I definitely agree with you, love my solitude,no one can hurt or play head games with me.
Same for me, after my ADHD diagnosis I realized why I was struggling so much in a relationship. Medication does help for me in social experiences.
I have struggled with something similar. Confidence may be the underlying issue. Stand up straight to show you can be combative, do not let other people put you down. The higher you put yourself in a dominance hierarchy the better your emotions will be regulated. That doesn't mean take control of your peers. It means follow your desires with pinpoint accuracy, it means make yourself the best you can be. Then serotonin will increase, your emotions will be better regulated and you can be more confident in speaking with other people, in turn reducing your impulsivity when interacting so you can say what you really mean.
This is so true , my son has adhd and ive seen this first hand . people think adhd is just behavior problems but its not.
it is not, people think the world is flat too, and natural things must be better than "unnatural" things. Then ignoring the data.
As a grown person with adhd, talking helps a lot just listen to him explain what he feels and he feels at the moment. I know it can get tiring but it helps your control his issues more, if he still has those problems.
I get it. I’ve lived undiagnosed for 40 years loosing jobs, girlfriends wives homes yada yada yada. No I’ve been on meds for 8 years now. But still struggle and piss off my wonderful fiancée and find myself apologizing way to much. No doubt adhd just sucks really bad. I’ve tried so hard my whole life to get ahead but keep failing. I’m really sick of this shit that people call adhd and also there are too many people that believe adhd isn’t real.
Jesus will help you my friend Faith will carry you through everything!
There are many types of ADD , ADHD each one needs different meds go to a different doctor !
I feel you I'm only 23 but I want to save my marriage and I just feel like I'm drowning at this point and it sucks but praying does help me through rough, hopefully it helps you too.
I am extremely analytical and do very poorly with abstract thinking. I am more of a concrete thinker. But what really throws me out in left field is when people lie to me that drives me absolutely insane because I am unable to process that type of thinking. My mind just shuts down its unable to make any sense out of the equation. I lack abstract thinking equation.
You're definitely left brain dominant, i would try to balance my left and right hemisphere.
@@robertanastase558 do you know where I can learn more about this kind of balance or understand more about each side? Thanks!
@@yusafmagsi check out the book The Master and it's Emissary by Dr. Iain McGilchrist. The whole book is about the 2 brain hemispheres.
@@robertanastase558 thank you so much!
@@yusafmagsi You're welcome, also Uberboyo on TH-cam has some great videos about this topic.
Dr Brown has a fine sense of humour when giving examples of what he explains, and it creates a relaxed atmosphere in the audience, I'm sure. If he treats his "patients" in the same manner, I'm sure all goes well.
Dr, you are not only a doctor and a scientist on the topic of ADHD, but you are also a human being with a heart of gold, a person with a brain which is seriously concerned with the welfare of individuals suffering from a particular brain- neurons problem (and their families), an expert who blends his subject knowledge with compassion, love, patience, intricate understanding, etc etc.... Oh... I fall short of vocabulary to appreciate you! This is purely a service unto mankind. When you are talking, it doesn't seem like a person merely trying to sell a book or further his practice using the new social media and stuff. It seems like a very intelligent, kind and a trustworthy elderly uncle, a best friend who has your welfare at heart and... well, trying to help an ADHD ( should I say victim?) 🤔🙏🙏🙏
GOD BLESS YOU!
I think everyone should get a dog. It’s the deepest and best relationship you’ll ever have. Truly unconditional
Yes, dogs are perfect aren't they. ❤
Oh wow. Clearly explained by a compassionate human.
Everyone would benefit from watching this lecture.
What a brilliant mind this man is.. Just amazing. I am searching for all his videos. I was never diagnosed with ADHD. It's so amazing listening to his speech, I literally hit every single marker for ADHD and I have been suffering with this for 6 decades. It's quite an epiphany to suddenly find out that this was my problem for all these years.
I heard that
It feels so comforting to hear someone who has ADHD talking about not just the difficulties and issues we face (due respect to Dr. Barkley, but the man tends to focus very aggressively on these parts of the ADHD experience, and really does not care if anyone in the audience abreacts to the information - not a terrible approach for a researcher but it makes me glad he's not a clinician) but also solutions and potentials for us to bring to our daily life.
I came across this video in a moment of a somewhat panic as I recognized myself becoming trapped within an emotion and hoping for a healthy distraction. Obviously I scored big time due to it's relevance so far. I've never been diagnosed although going back to childhood I can relate to near every associated marker that i've learned of. The abuse, both physical and verbal that i experienced at home because of these traits has had an impact as well regardless of forgiveness and the desire to move on. I'm now 46 and with my kids grown and the ending of a long relationship I am struggling in ways i've not known before.... It's as if the guidelines were removed and i'm no longer reliable, hireable, and sometimes even lovable. With that said, I am thankful that my temper is not explosive, at least toward others, and I am learning to implement boundaries for more well balanced relationships, but when pushed to far I seem to crumble....which again is exactly what has lead me to this moment. So thank you. This upload has benefitted be greatly....except maybe the reference to the idea of hitting kids in the car. Going to check out some more of your insights now. Thanks again C♥︎
God bless you, C! I can relate to a lot that you've written.
I'm 72 & in couples counseling with my husband who has Aspergers Syndrome. Wow, life requires a learning posture forever, it seems! May God or your Higher Power guide you!
Holy crap C - 💔 reading your post is like looking into a mirror 🤯 . Including the abuse + a few other types iv endured . ❤️🩹💕 good luck .
I have ADHD and being an adrenaline junkie explains a lot. I was a drug mule for 6 yrs, I loved the excitement. now at 70, I have slowed down. no ambition of being a mule again. I do love making the mountain dew. in the past I have been fired several times for telling the boss just what I thought of them.
When I'm going down a hyperfocus rabbit hole, I FEEL the TH-cam meme where the guy yells "I don't know what an HD is but my doctor just called and said I got 80 of 'em!"
I can really relate to this. Stuff drives me nuts and I feel like I want to scream and have lost it over dumb things. Noises. Driving.
This is so true. I've been misdiagnosed over and over and over again because of the misunderstanding of ADHD. They need to fix this. I went through so much horrible stuff because of this and almost died more than once. ADHD is the most misunderstood mental illness today.
Most misunderstand illness come on now are you joking. Have you heard of schizophrenia
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 yes... My cousin is schizophrenic and so are a few of my friends. 2 years ago my friend committed suicide because he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I understand it is very misunderstood by the general public, but it is understood well by the medical community. ADHD is horribly misunderstood by everyone including the public and so-called experts in psychology and psychiatry. I'm not trying to lessen the suffering of anyone else by saying this. I've just found it to be true. Sadly schizophrenics have suffered far more due to stereotypes and I am not ever going to deny that.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 ok randy Orton lol
dekko 1312 🎊 I agree 🌿
I have been (mis)diagnosed with almost the whole DSM mood spectrum for 50 years including bipolar disorder. ADHD was only diagnosed a few years ago and medicated but not really discussed. Now it’s recognized in adults and and treated.
I have just found Dr. Brown's work and am listening to Smart, but Stuck on Audible and I so wish I had found it before now. Our son is 18 and it explains so much. I hope that by sharing this in a loving way with our son that he can be able to take more of a role in wanting work with his emotions.
I had to see this video three times to actually pay attention and know what he was talking about....
Maria Ocute I know what you mean. I keep finding these long videos about ADHD. It’s like people don’t even know their audience.
@@virgilscott120 too deep
Maria Ocute best comment of the day award 🥇
I play solitaire while watching youtube videos and I'm able to hang on to every word. If not it's absolutely torturous. That's unless something really grabs my attention or needs to be viewed in entirety, then I go back and rewatch it completely tuned in.
Watch it on a faster speed or do something else while you watch, that’s the only way I can stay engaged
Totally true. Difficulty regulating. My mind goes 100mph+ overboard over certain thoughts and things that trigger me. Exactly as he says.
Speak for yourself. There is no "you think a lot" diagnostic criteria
@@hanskraut2018 it doesn't necessarily have to mean you think a lot when you're saying your brains going a 100mph. Sometimes it genuinely feels like there's a motor in your mind that just running regardless of thoughts in your head
SLOW DOWN Dr. Brown, you’re describing waaaaaaay too much of my emotional life in a 20 minute lecture
Kidding of course, please keep up the excellent work you do for folks like me
My mother had ADHD, my two brothers and now my daughter diagnosed. I'd never heard of it but now at 63 having done 1000 jobs a day and achieving little, so depressing, I realise at least I should get a diagnosis for my lack of success.
I love his soup saver beard. The science is good too
So true. Im the apathic guy who gives up to easily. I failed my drivers test when I was 18 and thought:" oh well, I guess I'll be walking for the rest of my life"
I took it up again when I was 31, but my mother had to push me to get it done.
I have adhd and i too gives up very easily my father pushed me to get the driving license even though i fail several times finally after my license i got a job from airport as a bus driver had an accident on 2nd month on the job,i cried on the way home that day,never went to work there after that,never had a relationship,been my whole life pleasing friends and family and they all use me for their gains.
My only dream is to live alone in a remote place where no one lives and worship god and die in peace
On top of adhd, I have dyslexia. So yeah. I can’t pay attention or friggin read. Well I read very slowly so as to understand more.
I have dyscalculia so yeah people think I'm stupid bit I'm not. All of us can learn though.
This is the same as me. What strategies do you have coz lists don’t work for me i lose my notes and if i find them my writing is so bad sometimes I can’t read what i have written.
I was misdiagnosed as having bipolar personality disorder - my questionaire answers and a short interview were considered a sufficient indication to the psychiatrist and that was the box I fitted into at the time. It wasnt until someone I know suggested I might have adhd that I considered it and researched it. Now at nearly 50 I atlast know thats exactly what I have - the hyperactivity part of it is what threw me from considering this for so long and the fact that it never adversely affected me in childhood. I would say many adults are misdiagnosed or never properly diagnosed at all.
Borderline not bipolar personality, sorry.
@@justinebourke2811 My brother and nephew used to think I had Borderline!
This man speaks true true!
ADHD in women needs to be better understood. It is an emotional self-regulation challenge and difficulty.
I tell you my family are the ones who bring it out in me and pick at me the most. I relate to everything this guy says! Only diagnosed as an adult recently and now contemplating motherhood amidst the chaos and completely overwhelmed. the meds might seem to help but severely upset my heart rate and breathing long after stopping. I also became severely underweight and have grave worries for the future. I only hope for non pharmeceutical help. Looking back i can see how i was always this way and very nearly have died many times!! Far out.
Very simple worry about urself don't make a kid it's just gonna make it worse. Also ur family if they pick on you there a piece of fucking shit
My kids are grown now. But when they where babies was the most stressful time of my life. I was not diagnosed until I was 40. Now with meds most days a great
Too late I accidentally made 1 at 40
A kid. It's actually really good ADHD and children. I'm doing pretty good unmedicated. It took a month or so but now I can eat and sleep.and main thing.. breathe.. my baby is sorting me out actually. The meds and aftermath made everything worse so no thanks. I think it's like autism and there's spectrums and other ways to manage it, utilise it even. Vents. I don't think it's a flaw & have given up ever trying to.fit in long ago. I'm an awesome parent. Sure organisation is the thing but I impress myself how fast I'm learning. The pills and no sleep made me have a seizure when I first got here level 4 lockdown. Terrible aftermath. I'll never take meds 4 being a bit different again. No way. I'd rather live. They ruin your heart too.
@@existamixa good for you..if you can manage it without medication then that"s great , personally I think most meds just cause more problems. If you have somebody close who you trust that can monitor you to some extent and give you honest, nonjudgemental feedback on your progress then that would be really helpful. Best of luck with motherhood, it's not always easy( and I mean for everyone) but you can be a good mother like ayone else.
This sums me up on so many levels. Age 37
Me too. 36 here.
I'm not diagnosed but I have all the signs and it's just getting worse and worse(because i have more and more stuff to DO/more pressure)My aunt has it tho and My Mom also has all THE signs but doesn't want to get diagnosed
It's hidden better in females
Hi! Before I was diagnosed in my early 50’s,as having ADD/Inattentive type, I recall driving with my two sons, 7 & 9 yrs old, picking on one another, trying to punch, or kick the other, and I would warn them to stop, or else, and they didn’t, so I reached my arm back to try and land a slap to each one on the leg, and trying to watch the road, and they made me angrier by moving their legs out of the way of my hand! I found their ability to avoid getting legs slapped,( I knew if it was me, I would take the opportunity, lol) and so I just started laughing, and they joined in, and it calmed me down, and they became settled down.
One of the best Skills Training programs for these issues (emotional dysregulation, distress tolerance, impulsivity, frustration/overwhelm) is DBT.
What is Dbt
교ᅩᅤᄒᄒᄒ dialectical behaviour therapy
@@razorbladerogue thnx
I learned a lot through DBT, but I was lucky enough to an excellent group/moderator to learn with.
Does dbt work? adhd and dyslexic. Feels like I did a quantum leap and am in a different dimension. Nothing is familiar anymore and it's exhausting, depressing and almost futile.
How do you find a therapist/ councilor to help with guidance for adhd. Ive asked my doctor ive searched for it and i can't find any one that doesn't act like i just want drugs or something. I don't want that i already take medicine for it i want someone to help mentally guide me through it and help my kids deal with the understanding of being raised by a single mother with adhd
my son had to be tested when he was 5 by a child counselor that specialized in adhd. then i and his dad had to fill out questioners about our son . then he was watched and asked to complete task and other things by the specialist. then before he was put on meds we had to take an 8 week class on adhd and how it affects children and how to deal with it. it took some time for him to be diagnosed . call a child psychiatrist around you and ask them what to do.
There's not really many specialists for ADHD around. Most doctors are really just there to help manage symptoms with medications. If you want help with functioning you should go see a therapist at a mental health clinic. It might take a while to find the right one but they are there to help dig deep and even allow your family to come if you want.
Taking meds is the most crucial part of treating ADHD. If you want some other ways, try visiting Buddhist temple near you and try learning meditation in a very professional way. Another medical way u can get help from is cognitive therapy. Try finding a specialist who specifies his/her spectrum in cognitive therapy.
Look up ADHD Coaching. These people are specifically trained in everything but medication for living well with ADHD. Some issues after years of misdiagnosis may need a therapist; but many are about how to live better with the limitations of ADHD. Check them out, I'm checking through them myself at the moment.
@@brrr792 Cognitive therapy works on adults only. If someone needs a help for their children, CBT is not a way to go.
This was very helpful. I’m definitely a stew on it all day/make a full movie about it in my head person. It drives me nuts, I hate it but don’t know how to make it stop
I wonder if there is any connection (in adults) between some (if not all) ADHD individuals and certain Borderline Personalities. I do see some of these traits (esp. the high drive for emotional intensity and thrill-seeking) in BPD sufferers.
Erna, this is a very important point.
Yes, ADHD may be correlated with other, often multiple psychiatric/psychological disorders. This is why talking to a real expert and seeking professional help and treatment can be a life-changer for both ADHD, and the other disorder, in this case BPD.
🤔 🤦🏻♀️Great 🤯, I have many of these things . All with the apathy aspect ….no motivation.
55 YEARS now . ADD with poor memory aspects - Attention Deficit Disorder with the poor memory aspects . PTSD from childhood abuses , depression from childhood Blah Blah Blah.
It drives me crazy , not being able to think straight . Some days it’s a brain fog 😶🌫️. Other day’s it’s a continuous jumping from one thing to the next as I pass from one room to the next … Sometimes my body feels like it made from lead - and I’m walking chest deep through water . And I can’t leave the house 🤦🏻♀️🤷🤯 ….it’s soul crushing . I just feel so lost in this world . I don’t like being around people . They talk so much and say so little . Then in the moments I’m grumpy and intolerant , sometimes I can see it happening and I can’t stop it .
I don’t have the financial resources to pay for mental health help , To go the once a year psychologist FOR the mandatory ADD MEDICATION review cost $500+ Australian dollars …+ a 100 dollar 6 months script renewal 🤦🏻♀️ WHTF , often …i just can’t get the medication . Then , if I do get it . I’ll forget to take the ADD medication So it lasts longer ….so I forget to get the next script filled ….then the script will lapse. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤯 .
On and on it goes . It’s so draining .
This stuff is so informative …it’s a shame it’s not mainstream educational knowledge .
I find it extremely difficult to do things I enjoy - never mind things that need doing .
I would like some answers - some measure of hope that ican be fixed .
Just doing this little bit of text has taken me an hour 🤯 .
It's hard to concentrate when someone isnt facing me especially in videos like this it's just hard cause if your not facing my then how am I supposed to concentrate
Do you have the link to the article regarding the history of ADHD by Paul Lender please?
With Add after the 8 minute mark, I can only see his face getting caught by his wife would she have woken up.
Do you have any treatments videos this video helps me understand but not what to do with the information with my dr and my depression also.
Some info repeats in these lectures of different titles!
Can anyone answer that people with adhd feel overly indecisive and too much concerned when it comes to love reletionships too, besides with general symptoms?
You will nearly never catch me saying what *I* want to do. I only ever ask what my partner wants to do. So yes, can confirm
Are those powerpoints behind him anywhere? I want to read what he put on them
If you find the PowerPoint, please let me know
Me too!
If you write directly to him, he may be happy to share them. He's obviously pretty interested in helping us with ADHD.
I’d like too as well
It makes sense ADHD would have problems managing anything not under their control like emotions
Definitely Top down behaviors-obsessively thinking about things that bother me all day, I always say it can reset once i go to sleep, trying to control my anger and impulsivity so such a degree and eventually I blurt things out or react, if something stresses me, I can literally see a horror movie in my imagination.
My mind cannot make a decision until the plate is in front of me, but for everything, every second,
I'm feel so worst now I get so irritated with my love ones when I feel disrespected, like when I feel like my wife interrupts me when I'm talking i get so pissed and then it turns into a back and forth argument and I blame myself for it because I have adhd and I've always felt like this since I was a child, I wish I could just be normal and not be so confused and misread what people say to me and get offended so easily. I hate it so much I feel like I ruin a lot things because how I am. But watching this helps me understand myself and others like me and also what to watch out for, so hopefully I can prevent it in the future.
What I have noticed as I've gotten older, I'm 29, diagnosed and medicated since age 6 to current date, is that while the medication continues to play a HUGE role in motivation and attention, it's also beginning to feel as though it's feeding the anger and feeding the reaction before the thought. That's just for me, not everyone will say or agree with that.
That might mean you need a new medication..finding the right one for me took awhile but when I finally did I feel overall a lot less reactive and logical
Is there another recording of this speech/presentation where you can see his PowerPoint?
Thank you. Thank you so much ,amazingly helpful !
These are great broadcasts. Why are they filmed with him standing in front of the display? Perhaps you cold insert the slides as edits?
Why coud a person feal empty?
Xpert_Destroyer 4 If life is not stimulating and exciting enough.
@@tuomasheikkinen9251 or you are lacking deep down what you value in your physical or emotional world.
I lost a friend today because of many of these reasons/behaviours.
I wonder how much, or how often, an underlying traumatic experience, short - or long-lived, can be a cause of developing ADHD or Asperger. I've had a brother-in-law, who was diagnosed with Asperger, after my sister demanded counseling, when she found out that her husband left her in the cold, emotionally.
He was intelligent, and was known by the strict religious congregation as a "man with a gift of the word of God" for he always talked and preached the word of the Bible. He was a karate-teacher with his own sport-school, and his pupils, after the lessons, were sitting on the mats, while he played the guitar, and sang songs with them in praise of God. But.... and here's the key, I think, to his inability to engage on a personal level, leaving God and the Bible out of it. His parents lived in a terrible marriage battleground, while also deeply engaged in Bible study and church services. It's how my sister met her husband. In church.
All the children of this couple are disturbed in some way, after growing up in that battle of their parents.
I've met the father a few times, during my sister's wedding, and in the years after. This man had a sinister and weird atmosphere about him, very dark. I couldn't feel any sympathy for this man. The influence of the church was so strong, that divorce was unthinkable. What God brought together, had to stay together.
That religious faith is one of the most strict, and fanatic beliefs in the Netherlands. There's a part of the Netherlands, where these people live, it's called the Bible-belt. That's where my sister lived with her husband, raising 5 kids. The 90's. The kids had to come in a natural way, the women must obey their husbands when they want sex.
When the 5th child was 12 years old, my sister divorced her husband. After counselling, and after her husband was diagnosed with Asperger. He didn't co-operate, turned dishonest, mean, and tried to sabotage all procedures. He took a new wife immediately, and my sister was treated as a foreigner in her own community, even by those who sat in church with her. She was ostracised, while her husband was spoken of as the one who suffered from the treatment of my sister. He felt great about it.
Now, is there a connection between this man's upbringing, and his behaviour as a husband, and father?
Two of his 5 children are living with difficult issues, and can't seem to get a grip on their life. I wonder if these issues are all connected through 3 generations, and if there's been a member of this family in these 3 generations, who has read this Bible text with that in mind:
Deuteronomium 5:9 "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me". It seems, that those living on a battlefield, held such anger and hatred, that God had no place in their hearts. Although their mouths could speak Bible words fluently. As a cover-up maybe?
Aren't you born with both ASD and ADHD?
I mean, you don't have to have both or either, but when you do, you're born with then
Nevermind, I'm not gonna discuss Bible. That ain't my thing.
Does anyone know where we can get the slides?
13:58 The speaker, talking about kids misbehaving in the backseat of a car, indicates “who deserve to be backhanded”….say whaaaaat? This guys says something like this every time I watch him in a video.
Self control has a key to this I know I have ADD do not have the hyperactivity disorder but I know you have to keep control a lot of self control it's not easy and I know that it is definitely controllable
Takes away like 70% of your finite discipline. This amount could be used more productively. Also hyperactivity might not be external but internal. I get hyperactive sometimes but mostly it's in my thoughts. They just won't shut up or organise unless I use my finite willpower.
Also you might have ADHD lite. I'm extremely motivated and have enough guts and willpower to share but using it to control myself burned me out before 25. Luckily I stumbled upon his video because I was curious about ADHD and self-diagnosed immediately. Now waiting for meds and their life-changing effects. After multiple talks with psychologists it's like I see for the first time how extensive the damage ADHD has done over the years was. Actually it's part of ADHD to be almost blind to your own shortcomings while people around you notice them for sure.
You are amazing 🥲
Just thank you, thank u thank 🥺
He’s fantastic, boy he can tell a story. I love his humour even though it’s a serious subject it’s good to be able to laugh at your self, but most times living with ADHD is seriously hard. We need more Dr Browns out there.
This is my life story ... it's not fair 😣
It's the hand we were dealt, let's focus on getting over it :)
@@finlay3077
Easier said than done.. Eh 😞
@@finlay3077 it's tough
Pray every morning about it
Easily frustrated is so right
Once I get angry there are no breaks, I try but it’s not responding. Same for sadness and frustration
Thank you very helpful
This guy who sat down at the table next to mine in a café that I was working from, and then proceeded to start watching a football match from his phone without headphones.
Easily frustrated, hot temper, angry responses to most things, yep. ADHD husband is this way, but doesn't believe he is. Denial. He thinks he has "control" over his emotions, he doesn't. To him, "emotional" means to be crying about something. He doesn't include anger in the "emotion" category. But he won't learn about his condition even though he's on Concerta for it. ADHD denial is real also.
Watch his other video( "ADHD in Teens and Adults 2010" - I think). The anger, frustration and temper may be because 1) the dose is too high for him (if it's happening during the day) or 2) he is "crashing" when the medicine drops off in the afternoon ! there are solutions for both! Good Luck!
@@PearlyTuxedowithLunaSky ???? Medication makes no difference. Either on or off it many people have the same emotional issues. I see that it might make it worse in some cases but this isn't just a medication side effect. To me it sounds like her husband sadly has been conditioned to believe men are not emotional or should not be emotional. And when his wife tells him he is, it probably triggers his rejection dysphoria, making the emotions worse. It's like a cycle that makes itself worse. I hope it gets better :( it's sad that men, and adults in general really, are made to feel like emotions are bad and we shouldn't have them
You write a clean article but you say yup you kidding me right how about the word yes much more proper
The right medication can definitely make a difference in emotional regulation. I’ve experienced it personally and in my child.
That being said, learning to help yourself regulate with trained assistance is also very helpful. And many men have been conditioned to not even recognize or acknowledge their feelings (but the same can also be true for some women). Life experience can help or exacerbate ADHD symptoms.
@@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 Not everyone cares about perfect grammar. This kind of thing used to drive me nuts too, but people have their own ways and are entitled to them. You even said, 'you kidding me' , hardly proper English. Colloquial language has its place, as long as it's understood. Chill a bit. Judgement never helps anyone. While of course you are entitled to your preferences, judgement will alienate you and others.
I feel my conundrums stem from, despite being told I am quite the "Impressively abstract" thinker, that since I am not the one who generated any of the dots that I connect, that the connections are something like obvious, because if they weren't, I would not have seen them, which has me arriving at something more akin to an imposter syndrome by-product From ADHD?
It's like, I am capable of reading between the lines of contexts and stringing them together, like what riddles and metaphors accomplish, except I'm doing it on an industrial scale, but then when I go to discuss this with people, they give me energy like I am brilliant, but I never move forward with my ideas because I doubt their validity, because it feels like I did not earn them, and then I arrive at something like chronic procrastination instead.
The thing that is generating the good is also generating the not so good, So I am something like in the middle of an existential cognitive dissonance, which makes sense since I say, I am chronically torn in life between respecting people while also trying not to care what others think.
I have been called the Jersey Shore version of Russell Brand / Ben Shapiro because at the rate of which I speak, I use Peach to text software because I get anxiety seeing how slow my fingers type, I read at 750 wpm (with software), I listen to audiobook / podcasts at 3.5x daily while at the gym (depends on the speaker), I am 38 and have not taken medication since I am 10 years old.
I am in the throes of stitching together a high concept business proposal for shark tank, which I cannot for the life of me feel is anywhere near what I would consider, "Almost perfect", and I am admittedly overwhelmed by myself at this point, that I am once again subconsciously procrastinating by looking at this video instead of Welding contexts back at the lab :(
.........Long story short, I would say my number one feeling of lack has been Friends that can keep up with the mental stamina required to juggle the systems thinking that is my Polymath soul.
I watched an expert on ADD, ADHD it had 7 types of ADD, ADHD each one has to treated with different meds, given a person the common go to meds for ADHD can end very bad for the wrong person could make them suicidal etc... all types of bad outcomes. It takes a good examination to figure what is going on not a rush job .
Can you post the video if it’s TH-cam it will post, if not YT it will auto delete
So this is why I give up on women so easily, once they start playing games (referring to the rat pellet part), also why I overthink things, and some of the ambivalence I have, and the "borderline precognition" level of reflexes.
47 year old woman just diagnosed this month.
Not at all easy to do, but meditation before anxiety-producing events (like visiting family) helps with regulation during that event. Haven’t watched the whole video; sorry if this is repeating something already discussed.
If you’re having anxiety with family there is something else going on. Consider lifting weights 3x/week
@@bryanutility9609 Ha. Bryan, not sure what you mean by “there is something else going on” but lots of people have very - sometimes extremely - difficult families. You are quite lucky - though rather insulated - if you don’t even know anyone for whom that’s the case.
@@calexprenas life is hard, but it’s easier to if you’re physically strong.
Another example of this headfuk problem . I finally got the script sorted that I should have done bye May 2022 🤯 it’s now march 2023 🤦🏻♀️ I was going to pick it up first thing this morning …. It’s now 3pm in Western Australia ,and I haven’t left the house 🤦🏻♀️ ….I feel like I’m in a constant state of time distortion …. Or alien abduction time loss people talk about . 🤦🏻♀️👁☹️
No concern about time
0:21 so real
Again sir, very very true!!
Funny the cookies were mentioned 😂. I’ve only just realised at 39 I may have this . Diets have been the hardest thing ever to follow: .Theyre hard enough for the non ADD . To us it’s pure torture 😂😂✌️
Racing cars and bikes? Oh yeah!! Sneaking that delish treat? Ooh boy!!
from about 16:15 I can relate to the hurt feelings, and the 'what if's' esp (the expressway part)
lol!
We drive on the right side of the road, thats why its called right hand drive! :D
I live in the space of conflicting emotions. That is probably why I am so miserable a lot of the time.
I think my partner is misdiagnosed with ADHD and as a partner Jesus Christ there are times I feel like I am walking on egg shells in my own home. Anything can set a blow up with him and he can be so hurtful and vile. I try and ignore it and tell myself it’s his ADHD but it is mentally and emotionally draining
This sounds exactly like my situation. I was on the brink of divorce. As a Christian, I can’t walk away but can’t live in such turmoil. I suggest you start searching for videos on how adhd affects marriage. And on strategies spouses can use to help their adhd partner. It has helped me immensely. I also make my husband watch these videos and it helps him understand what I go through.
@@dottjohnson2232 thank you I will do that. Thankfully I am not married but I do have old fashion belief’s you stay and support your partner not just give up and walk away but as I said I somedays I could just kill him. He had a phone call from a nurse and she is going to refer him but the wait is 2-3 years…joke
Can someone with ADHD think that he or she hears people talking to them
That could be Auditory Hallucinations.
Look for some videos on You Tube
then you can explain the symptoms
to your doctor.
Some videos that could be helpful
are Food Allergies, Schizophrenia
or Types of seizures.
Why do I feel like I've heard this before
Wait they say we are bi polar
lot of truths here :)
Yup
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I fell in love recently with a girl she’s so hot and cold one day she really likes me the next I might not even hear from her. I just came out of 8 years with a covert narcissist I’m damaged inside my whole life view changed severe depression episodes I keep to myself with all that but I have expressed to her how ignored I feel and how hurt she makes me feel and she like changes the Subject. When she’s with me I can tell she likes me her family has said recently I’m all she talks about yet In this brand new love I feel I’ve never experienced someone who can feel that but not want to be constantly talking with or being with the person. After spending 8 years with the devil and nearly losing my life she showed me love is possible and there is someone out there but I wish it was her I just can’t take it anymore and I’ve warned her I am going to snap eventually I wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone els I give her chance after chance I don’t judge her I treat her like a queen I’m trying to push her to go in and get this treated I know deep down it’s a matter of days before I have to completely cut her out of my life and I’m so depressed about it because I love her and care about her so much but I have so much love to give and I need to feel vauled. I’ve ruined 3 potential relationships that started before her I blew them all off for her to just blow me off the next night.
Omg that co-worker story is sooooo me
I have all of these thingd
Since ADHD was discovered in the 18th century, the men and boys especially who were diagnosed, were Slave masters' who had hostile and violent behaviors towards slaves and others who were not accepted. Now ADHD and ODD have passed on to their family tree and generations, that topics about has to be clinical for non-accountability.
All those ADH are presented in the most tedious boring way with too few visual aids.Why?
I am the last guy riding in the road :-D
I feel seen...
That explains my intensity lol
too late for me. living alone is the only thing for me now.
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Status update?
This man just publicly admitted his wife was chubby lol Indiana Jones level daring
Hey Tommy, Here is a question. We are told there is an epidemic of ADHD in the USA. William Dodson says 10% of the population have it.
Ned Hallowell says 15% have it. In some states it is 20-30% of children diagnosed, most are on stimulant drugs.
Yet children in the USA are the fattest and most overweight in the western world. I don't remember seeing many fat kids when I was a kid. Now they were everywhere.
So how can there be an obesity epidemic and an hyperactivity epidemic? If there was then these kids would be burning the fat off!!!
Maybe we should solve both by sending kids out to play instead of being on social media or computers etc.
Different kids lol. ADHD wasn't a problem until recent times, because we weren't as interconnected and jobs didn't require long term planning. Or serious specialization for that matter.
Kids are sedentary, gen X did away with school PE because they hated losing, and foods are highly palatable, calorie dense and thus cause low satiety. Combine these and you get fat kids who die at 40 of heart attack.
Wait a minute, The two kids are in the back seat and fighting with one another. I get that in heavy traffic a parent might become angry, mostly because they are distracted at a time when you need to be focused but the "kids deserve to be backhanded"? What are you saying, backhanding kids is okay?
Maybe I misunderstand but it is never appropriate to backhand a kid. Never. I am surprised and disappointed that he would say such a thing and give an impression that he thinks that is okay.
I agree. Came looking for this comment because I felt it's an awful thing to say.
He never said that he backhanded children once he was home. Maybe you missed the point of the video. Maybe you got caught on that one point and didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying. ADD causes you to have immediate reactions/thoughts. It’s an impulse, not necessarily an action.
For me, I would have an overly aggressive thought in a high stress situation like that.
Unfortunately for someone who already feels a constant underlying stress, adding in heavy traffic and screaming children is a triple whammy and at that point you feel like you will explode. In that situation you just desperately want to remove a stressor.
Not that you would ever do that after rethinking the thought. Impulsive thoughts are usually a given with ADD/ADHD.
@@Whatsup-1234 I kind of agree with you Rose about a lot of what you wrote. I don't think I missed the point of the video though. You notice that I say that maybe I misunderstand but I tried to write a comment that would give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed that he was suggesting that a backhand was appropriate.
@@Whatsup-1234 To immediately assume she has add or adhd seems rude but understandable
@@zeze3305 did you watch the video? It’s about an adult with adhd/add.
Okay, somewhere is a grass-cutter thing. That's untakable and i cant conzentrate on this or to better this one comment.
And i like the subways cookies too
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I always though Americans drove on the "wrong side" 🙁😁
Haha. The Chaos gods in Warhammer 40k have ADHD.
The harsh sink preauricularly book because cream indisputably injure athwart a discreet millennium. plucky, mean boat
Drugging children for supposed behavior/focus issues is a Crime Against Humanity.
The child has no choice in the matter yet has to suffer the consequences well into adulthood.
Most the time the child finds themselves being prescribed additional drugs to combat the side effects of the initial drug & this often times last well into adulthood.
Our system introduces children into addiction before they even enter Middle School.
How is this not a crime against humanity?
- American Intermediary