What is AEDP? | Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy - Part 1 of 3
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มิ.ย. 2024
- Let's talk about AEDP.
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In this first video in my Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) series, I summarize the core elements on AEDP, a form of therapy developed by Diana Fosha, while attempting to bringing to life what is beautiful and compelling about this emotion-focused way of working. I discuss why emotions are important to our wellbeing, and why learning to express one's self emotionally with another person can be so transformative. AEDP works to transform our unconscious schemas that tell us we are fundamentally alone, while restoring our faith in our own value and the value of our authentic feelings. In this way, AEDP is about reclaiming our true self and thereby gaining fuller access to our truth and vitality.
00:00 The Fear of Self (Or Emotions)
01:49 An Introduction to AEDP
04:03 The Importance of Tracking Our Emotions
07:13 Tracking Our Emotions Can Be Scary
09:40 How AEDP Helps With the Link Between Emotions and Shame
11:41 Secondary Emotions vs Core Affect
16:34 Undoing Aloneness
21:04 Join Us on Patreon
Thanks for the warm reception, guys!! It's good to be back! ;) I'll be posting every Tuesday at 11am CST (check for livestream 15 minutes ahead). There will be 3 videos in this AEDP series, then a 5-part Coherence Therapy series, and then a few on self-compassion and Deliberate Practice (which is just a therapy training tool), and then a 8-part series pulling it all together by way of exploring the history and science and technique that makes experiential work unique. Thanks for being here everyone!! ;)
Thank you! I can't wait for those on self-compassion. Just recently found out that I have never had a concept on this and therefore am extremely und unnecessarily hard on myself.
Amazing
I just did a little jump for joy sitting at my desk when your video came up! I've watched them all and find your thinking and presentation to be so clear-headed and clear-hearted (which I'm including because it autocorrected to this originally and thought it was perfect!). Thank you for all the effort that you put into these. This is one therapist who really appreciates your work.
Yay, welcome back Dr Olds.
This sounds profound and powerful, especially delivered with such deep serenitty. Really love it.
I am curious, as we take an organic, human expression of connection and validation, and kind of recreate it in a therapeutic "laboratory", how does one offset the power/vulnerability imbalance? Even if I had a platonic friend who was a good soul and altruistic, and was generously available with emotional maturity to spare, at a point I would feel distant because of that -- again -- one-sided nature of the relationship. Unfortunately, in a capitalist society, commodifying that and paying for it actually feels a little bit natural and corrective but the responsible therapist who maintains appropriate boundaries still deals with the threat of an even greater sense of alienation of "almost known" -- right up until the point that the clock says time is up. This is worst-case so I apologize for bringing negativity to light but it makes me feel safe I guess cuz I believe there's an answer. Or I hope so
As everyone said already: great work!
The thumbs up isn’t enough for videos this good
AEDP saved my life, but the hardest part about it for me is that those closest to me have no desire to have this profound life changing experience. It very much reminds me of the allegory of the cave.
'What we are undoing is our aloneness.' Yes. This is at the core of the way I understand the difference between what you call primary and secondary emotions. The secondary emotions - shame, anxiety, self-punishment - are by definition hermetic and self involved precisely because they are born of a perceived need not to engage others. The primary emotions are all about engagement with others or with a reality beyond ourselves over which we may have little or no control. e.g. if I walk down the street crying, it might not lead to direct engagement with another, but it will be an honest admission of how I feel to others, and that something outside me has hurt or saddened me, and that openness to engagement is the foundation for it.
Your gift to synthesize and explain complex theory and therapeutic practice to make it understandable and usable is a true gift to humanity! Thank you!!
"No one even noticed that I was upset" - that hurt...
Great video as always 👌🏻
Thanks for putting the time and effort in making them!
she's back!! 🎉
I missed you! I am SO excited you are back. I would love for you to do a series on Somatic Experiencing in the future 🙌🏻 Your series on IFS was extraordinary.
Yes! I'd also love to learn about some somatic practices ❤
I get so much from your talks. You have no idea how much they matter.
I have waited like crazy for your new video. So grateful for you to be here.
Yeah!! Hooray for your return! Your trainings are so clear, comprehensive and clever. So happy to learn more from you!
Thank you so much for this Tori and all of your videos!! I came upon AEDP a number of years ago. I think it's fabulous. And IFS and Somatic Experiencing are my 2 other favorite modalities. Unfortunately as someone on Medicaid I could not find an AEDP therapist who takes Medicaid insurance in NY. And the same is true for IFS. It's so sad that these wonderful forms of therapy are not easily accessed by those who have financial need. And this is also a sorely neglected topic. People for whom trauma and other emotional difficulties affect their ability to get along well in the world financially. Thank you again for the fantastic work you are doing here!!!!
The thing is that they are not subsidised because they work, and this takes money away from the pharmaceutical companies who profit off your trauma. As does the government. So they want you poor! Unhappy and controllable. Pharmaceutical companies fund the universities so the training that Drs get is in what drug to prescribe. That’s why the highest cause of death in America is from iatrogenesis- caused by the medical profession.
You can check out Ally therapy. They accept Medicaid and some of their therapists are AEDP/IFS/EFT trained.
Thank you for this explanation. I really feel like it is what we do in IFS, when we are into our self (as a therapist).
3:47 True that !! I feel a connection to my therapist that I have never felt before. Never.
So excited to see Dr. Olds is back! ❤
SE is incredibly similar!!! This explanation sums up a lot of the components of SE.
This is so great! I'm planning on entering AEDP immersion later this year and have been reading every book and piece of research on it. I am continually blown away but the breadth and depth of AEDP from a technical standpoint, while also having a simplicity of how it plays out in the room. I believe AEDP will be at the heilm of the "fourth wave" modality paradigm shift in clinical psychology and psychotherapy.
Thank you, Dr. Olds.
Your content has helped me so much, and I really appreciate the calm and caring way you present this valuable information.
The part where you talked about being shamed for expressing emotions really hit home for me. I wrote an essay about this very subject which I'd like to share, but I will paste it in a separate post below, as it might be triggering for some.
*Do not click on the post below if you are sensitive to child neglect/abuse*
*Growing up, essential resources were tightly guarded and doled out sparingly. But there was yet another commodity that was guarded even more greedily than food or heat, despite the fact that it costs nothing*
“Just look at Sandra; crying to get attention… I don't know what it is, but I just can’t bring myself to feel sorry for her,” said my mother to Sharon.
I don’t remember what I was upset about, but whatever it was, my mother and sister were not willing to grant me any sympathy.
“When I see other people cry, I might feel bad for them, but when she does it, I feel nothing at all,” mom continued.
My mother and sister talked to each other like I wasn’t even there. It was as if they were discussing a defective lamp, rather than a crying child.
“That’s because Sandra doesn’t cry WITH us, she cries AT us,” Sharon said.
While my sister was first to use these particular words, this term soon became a go-to phrase which the whole family utilized to invalidate any injustice I became upset about:
“Oh look; Sandra’s crying at us again. Does she actually expect us to feel bad for her?”
Or:
“Go cry at somebody else Sandra; it’s not going to work on us.”
Sometimes, my brothers would further mock me by rubbing their fists in their eyes and making whining noises.
Accusing me of ‘crying at them’ was a way for my family to shift the guilt and blame for my abuse, back onto me. According to them, the cruelty I was enduring was not the problem; my failure to cry the 'right' way about it was.
Whenever my family mocked me for ‘crying at them’ they stressed the word ‘at’.
So, if crying AT them was wrong, was I supposed to cry WITH them instead?
But how was I to accomplish this, when crying WITH them would require reciprocity FROM them?
Looking at it this way, Sharon’s assessment was spot on; I really was crying ‘at’ my family rather than WITH them:
If you picture someone crying at the door, they are being denied entry; how could this person cry WITH the occupants if they won't open the door?
And that is exactly how it felt; as though I were crying at a locked door.
The door was theirs, yet the shame was mine.
When my family used this phrase to mock me, the shame it induced was so unbearable that I would immediately go hide.
It was as if my family had dug me a ‘shame-hole’ and this is where I was sent to cry.
Once I realized that seeking compassion and being met with rejection is even more soul-crushing than simply suffering alone, my family’s rebuff was no longer necessary; if I needed to cry, I sent MYSELF to the shame-hole.
I was already suicidal, but this went even deeper than that; my humiliation was so great, I didn’t simply want to die; I wanted to disappear altogether.
I think my family wanted me to disappear too; as this would allow them to escape the guilt of knowing that the most vulnerable among them was enduring mental, physical and sexual abuse from the most powerful among them, while they stood by in relative safety. Recognizing the brutality of my existence also meant acknowledging that they themselves were complicit in it.
Unfortunately, I didn’t disappear; the only way for my family to exonerate themselves was to paint me as a whiney attention-whore who didn't deserve their compassion or protection.
But what hurt the most was that Sharon not only participated in shaming me, she was the ringleader. Growing up, my sister was the closest thing I had to an ally; her rejection felt like a betrayal.
It hurts a bit less to believe that my sister was simply doing what she had to do to survive; the fact that Sharon was treated so well (this is a relative term) in our family while I was treated so badly must have caused her tremendous guilt. Viewing me as an attention-seeker instead of a traumatized child was a way for my sister to reconcile this disparity.
Even though my sister didn’t choose the dynamics of our dysfunctional family, she still had to protect the system at all costs; lest the golden child find herself crying at the door instead of me.
Sharon was the most reliable caregiver I had, yet I was unable to come to her for comfort of any kind; it was as if she had built a wall around herself. Not only was I forbidden to physically touch my sister, I couldn't even cry in her presence.
Like my sister’s physical boundaries, I believe Sharon needed to set these ‘emotional boundaries’ to keep me from smothering her; I was a lonely, frightened child facing unimaginable abuse, with no one to look to for comfort or compassion. I think Sharon knew if she ‘opened the door’ when I cried, the pain and guilt would have been too much; I would have overwhelmed her.
Yet again, it was the neighborhood dogs who saved me.
Not only were the dogs my only safe source of physical affection, I only felt safe to cry in their presence as well.
Unlike my human family, my beloved canine family never denied me compassion, or ridiculed me for crying the wrong way.
“Come out the door, it’s like you’ve gone away”
-Frozen, ‘Do You Wanna Build a Snowman’
th-cam.com/video/TeQ_TTyLGMs/w-d-xo.html
*****
For the next 40+ years, I continued to send myself to the shame-hole to cry.
But after my brother’s suicide, I began seeing a therapist and started to open up about my painful past.
I was so afraid to read my essays to my husband; I braced myself for the rejection, blame and ridicule I had been conditioned to expect; dozens of inner voices were already berating me.
After sharing a particularly intense essay, I got choked up; but instead of sending me to the shame-hole, Pew offered me a hug.
To say the floodgates opened would be an understatement.
Fifty years of pain came rushing out in a giant, sobbing mess.
And once I started, I could not stop.
I cried for a long time, and this process went through many stages. Some parts resembled an exorcism; and this is not far from the truth, seeing how the demons of my past did not leave willingly; I cried so hard that I convulsed and flopped around like a fish.
I wasn't crying at Pew; I was crying with him. He held me tight, stroked my hair, and told me I was going to be ok.
After the exorcism, I still couldn’t stop crying; I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude. When cried at the door, Pew was brave enough to open it. I wasn’t shamed, blamed or rejected.
But all the while, the inner voices were SCREAMING at me to get back inside my shame-hole where I belong; the voices told me I don’t deserve things like love or compassion.
They told me I don’t deserve my Pew.
My family of origin has already deprived me of a happy childhood, but I am an adult now; my abusers are no longer a threat and I am safe and loved.
But despite achieving this, I am not free. The voices of my abusers and their enablers live on in my head, where they continue to torment and shame me.
These echoes of the past are like a barrier preventing me from fully embracing the love that now surrounds me.
I love my Pew so much; I want to heal, so I can feel like I deserve him.
But more importantly, I want to heal so I can become the whole, stable, and healthy partner that he deserves.
"Love is all around you; love is knocking outside your door"
-Tesla, 'Love Song'
If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
@@quarteracreadventures855 You have such insight into your experiences as a child and send compassion for all of those painful experiences. If everyone had such deep insight, healing may be a quicker process. I am so happy for you that you have been able to let that child feel her emotions and cry in a safe and loving place
@@quarteracreadventures855 this was so beautiful and touching to read. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words
Love seeing more quality content on AEDP!
Excellent! Thank you so much.
Amazing video! I love how you explain this!
Thank you so much.
Thank you for the thoughtful profiles on different types of therapy!
I kind of love that I can track the chronology of her videos based on her hair length. Thank you for that!😅
I absolutely love your stuff. SO articulate. I wish I could speak so eloquently. It would be awesome if you did a training that provides ceu and certification. With AEDP. IFS, Sensorimotor psychotherapy, EFT/TFT/Energy pysch.🎉🙏❗️❗️🤙
Oh man .. finally tackling this. Thank you. 4 years in recovery. 3rd serious suds treatment center luckily had great lcsw that told me I needed this modality. She was right on. I am grateful for this info. Thank you.
Great she pointed you in a helpful direction!! Good to hear :)
Wonderfully Presented! You are great!
Yay!!! Love your videos!!!
Amazing video. Thank you
Good to see you, thank you!!
Welcome back!
Your are a magical gift for me. thank you from all my heart..
Your mom sounds like a wonderful human and therapist. Any chance of getting her to illustrate what she does?
Te amo!!!
Flawless.
ThAnks, what about ifs? Is AEDP better?
Thank you Dr. Tori, what would say would be the difference between IFS and AEDP?
Yay!
“Living life a few hundreds of milliseconds at a time.”
I have really benefited from your videos-thank you so much. However, I find it difficult to follow the order in which the videos are sorted, especially when watching on a TV screen. I suggest making the sorting clearer. Thank you again for the great content!
can you make a video series on somatic experiencing and memory reconsolidation
How to find an AEDP therapist?
Is it just me or this sounds like the kind of therapy that would be ideal for Cluster B disorders, especially BPD?
Please please please can you either have a drink or get a microphone that doesn’t pick up the mouth noises. It is sooooooo distracting and I have to say annoying. When I was little mealtimes were fraught with trauma, my mother would scream at my father for making noises while eating. So I know this is mine and and I need to work through it, but honestly it’s like listening to fingernails down a board and I don’t hear the content.
Maybe CC will help you. Reading the script? It does help me.