I *am* a [ Healthy Person] I do those activities that a heathy person does. Healthy People go to the gym. Healthy People don't smoke. Healthy People brush their teeth. I am a Healthy Person. I do those things.
I have deep respect for BF Skinner, his ideas allowed me to isolate specific undesirable behaviors in other people marked as "bullying", and for me to learn not to reinforce those behaviors that occasionally pop up in others. BF Skinner is great for studying and analyzing behavior. ...But, and this is a huge but. BF Skinner's ideas have limitations, even with the fact that I highly recommend his work - and a proper class in behavior modification. His work as you said, focuses extra heavy on observable behavior, and focus very little on internal states. ...But what you stated reminded me of one of my favorite self improvement gurus, Christian D Larson. He heavily emphasizes mindset in his books, only he does not call it mindset directly. Concentration and Thinking for Results are two of my favorites from him. I'll take a direct quote from the book Concentration by Christian Larson. ..."The purpose must be to live beneath the surface; to make the great within our chief realm of life and concern. We may act upon and with the external aspects of life; but we must make the deeper fields of thought our real place of business. For surely, if we would master the deeper forces of life, we must live and think where those forces arise and develop. This therefore, is a matter of imperative importance." - Christian D. Larson. ...That quote gives me chills, implying the existence of a subtle but immense power that is available to all who wish to put in the work necessary to possess it. The entire book is filled with a certain logic and wisdom to it. But that passage really stuck with me.
Two things. Out of personal experience, whenever I do not want to do something I know I should be doing, closing my eyes and asking myself: "Why do I not want to do it?" and "What is the reason I am doing this activity?" usually helps. As soon as I am at the step of consciously thinking about why and why not I usually already made the decision to do it. The second. Instead of forcing myself to just go to sports every day without any kind of personal reward attached to it, I started counting the days I consecutively stuck with that plan. Thus I break my own highscore every day and it really feels good. Currently 40. Just some ideas that may help or not. Have a nice day.
"He who has a why can bear any how" - Nietszche To add onto Andrew's thoughts with experiences from my own journey: 1. Rooting out negative self talk/toxic beliefs: i worked with a meditation coach and we did deep work and rooted out beliefs that seemed innocuous to me at the time were actually quite self limiting and self tyrannical. They had roots in my childhood, reinforced by well meaning parents and maybe not so well meaning society but were ultimately harmful 2. Have a vision/ideal: I take this one from Jordan Peterson. But I was literally able to drop previously addictive behaviors I couldn't drop before (such as smoking weed and drinking excessively) because I had unknowingly created a vision in my mind of who I wanted to be and smoking and drinking just didn't have a place in that vision. Once this became more apparent to me, I've begun thinking more about and Journaling about the vision of my ideal life. 3. Changing mindset through the spoken word: I've always spoken to myself as a way to unpack and process my thoughts but I never realized my spoken word had power. With my meditation coach's suggestions, I crafted a morning routine of positive self affirmations that I would speak out loud during my morning showers (attaching a new habit to an old one), and I would speak out loud (I think speaking them out loud and hearing them is key) and anchor these affirmations by always ending with the same three phrases. I believe this is so important because you need to change he conversation you have with yourself in your head otherwise you're going to be trying to improve but always subconsciously sabotaging yourself. Hope this long rant helped somebody!
People don't realize the potential they have if they are disciplined. You can accomplish in 1 year what it would take someone else 5 years to do. Stay disciplined 👊
We are taught the responsibility is stressful teach yourself responsibility is joyful. Don't think that if i do this i will be happy.likewise if am discipline i will be joyful not true, being think like being discipline is joyful and happy .
@@kishorsivesh3242 Indeed habits are so powerfull for a procastinator like me. When I get in a habit I can do something I could never done before, but if I stop once or twice the procastination starts to kick in again. So the only way I can get something done or get better at something is to never stop.
This kind of thing, in my opinion, is like revving the engine really hard with the handbrake still engaged. I think, at least in my case, it would be synonymous with lying to myself. It makes me feel inadequate when people trot out the line "You can accomplish in 1yr what it would take someone else 5yrs to do". I think perhaps I put myself into the 'someone else' category.
Funny how we focus so strongly on changing circumstances in an external world where we have little power and ignore the high-leverage changes we could address in the internal world where we are so much more powerful. Why is that? Some see internal change as criticism of who they are. This is deeply challenging. To grow past this we have to admit to deep imperfection and learn to embrace it, we are all a work in progress. Its part of what makes life exciting.
This is exactly how I overcome the craving for any processed food/sweet/junk etc - no matter how much of it is in my environment in the home (there's a lot from others) I can effortlessly resist any temptation or desire because of my core values and the importance of healthy eating. I struggled with willpower for so long - I could last months then I would cave in and binge. Same for brushing my teeth - I have no dental health care and no need for it because I brush and floss twice a day no matter the time or how I feel because I know the importance of it. Once it's there you no longer have to spend time deliberating or using will power, you make the decision through your subconscious at that point. I call it - Autonomous Ultra Instinct.
Why do I always feel that by watching his videos makes me go round n round. I always find myself where I have started. Everytime I watched his video, I analyse it and try to follow it. But I result in loop.
His introduction about taking care of his teeth resonates so much with me, his mom words also mirrors what my mother told me years ago. When I was a kid my Mom will practically brush my teeth even when I'm already half asleep then the time comes where I should be accountable enough for taking care of myself .... in which I failed miserably. By this age my first molar got extracted due to severe cavity and now my teeth are already misaligned and produced a wrong bite. My teeth doesn't feel the same after the extraction honestly. I was also diagnosed with mild scoliosis due to my bad posture growing up. I get to realize how many bad habits that I have that piles up into big consequences. I'm 21 years old who lacks routine and suffer so much from anxiety. Everything is getting worse knowing that I brought my problems to myself.
You did so much better than me with the teeth brushing... When nobody reminded me anymore to do it, I just stopped brushing them for years as teenager. Until I screwed them up. Now I'm brushing them for many years, but it's too late. And I don't have money for now to repair them... That's one of my biggest regrets in life. That's a great video!
8:30 Habits are related to our beliefs than to the action. Another Key Point Instead of forcing yourself to do that thing, it is better to want to do that thing. Now that is the truth.
Step 1. Actually decide if you want the benefit of doing the habit badly enough, if it's worth putting in the effort Step 2. Design your environment to make it as easy as possible to do the habit long term (or design your environment to make it as hard as possible to do a negative habit you want to stop doing) Step 3. You now know that you actually want the benefits bad enough to do the habit, you designed your environment to help you as much as possible, so from there just use your discipline to stick through the rough patches 1. Actually want it 2. Design your environment 3. Use your discipline from there
This is true for me because I can motivate myself to exercise because I want to be healthy in my old age and not end up in the nursing home. My mindset motivates me more than any reward or punishment. Great video.
Damn, bro. This specific video gave me the goosebumps. I’m a 26 years old brazilian guy and when I was 21 I started a lobby and crisis manegement company. We went very well, the name of it was “Action” and we made it big last year, huge office, many employees and a lot of money coming in. But i was miserabile, had to put a lot of effort for making things happen, because my mind and my behavior were totally disconected. Early in this year I quited the office and started a start up accelerator, focused on world changing businesses. We named ir Cór (core) in order to remember us to always have our “Actions” aligned to our cores, wich is the feeling we have when we are being true to ourselves, so hard nowadays. Im working 12 h a day now with a big simile and way heathier. Thanks for synthesing it so well and please dont stop this great work!
I have got IMMENSE value from your videos, but this one takes it to the next level. This is the one that helped me deconstruct my own roadblocks. But it's kind of scary, because sometimes that deconstruction results in you realize the thing you're "meant" to do doing isn't what you were meant to be doing at all.
I work at an American Fortune 500 company. Your insight has helped motivate me in my professional and personal life. Not all your viewers are young or at entry level in their careers. With that, consider opening a Patreon or other way people can support your efforts beyond not skipping adds or signing up for personal lessons.
He’s right. I relate to this video very personally. Having the motivation to complete the things I want to do has always stood in my way. I used to hear everyone say “just force yourself to do it” and things like that. But I would always think to myself “wouldn’t it be much better if I really wanted to do these things?”. Now, my mental state has heavily improved and I found a little bit of meaning and purpose in my life. It’s easy to do the small things now because I can see a bigger picture. Thanks for the video Andrew!
Applied behavior analysis (ABA) is a field that might interest you, as well as a book called ‘Behavioral Karma.’ Humans are more complex, but we too operate under the same behavioral principles as other animals do. “To want to do something” is called an establishing operation in ABA, and it is something that comes before the process of “cue -> behavior -> reward.” Great video!
Sometimes the truth sucks, but knowing the truth is better than not knowing the truth, because knowing the truth allows you to act accordingly (whether that means in the way of continuing your habit or creating a new one).
It comes down to an identity shift. Agreed. But sometimes external factors make it really difficult to stand by your identity. Sometimes things just happen and you can get real anxious or depressed, and you just think to yourself “to heck with an improvement mindset”. Like it’s an internal battle where you know “obstacles are good and build character and xyz” but you’re in such a pit all the negative emotions suppress and outweigh the beneficial ones. How does one deal with that?
Awesome script! I'm really impressed how you incorporated repetition without it being annoying. Also a video that is worth writing along with to catch the meaning of the video. Keep them coming, I am learning!
Yeah, I have that kind of behavior which when I'm in the process already, I'm thinking that my reality or actuality is still different from what I've planned to do that loose myself momentarily in the momentum I have created. And realizing that maybe I'm just carried away to something that came up in my mind, positive or negative that made me an idea to do something. And that leads me to just live in my head, optimizing my unbalance condition that became my personality as a person. No certain output, just in my head. Seemingly silent person in the outside. And don't really sure to have an effortlessly sure decisions to make when in a normal condition. It's all just an illusion, deluding myself!
Changing the Core Believes like our motivation for fear of realization (I don't want to end up with rotten teeth) will not always render long-term term effect. Fear, even constructive fear: one that gets us away from bad habits is still aversise in that it hendicaps our creative mind (problem solving mind) in response to challange (creation of good habits) and renders one in capitulation out of exhaustion of possible failure. Effortless habits, especially the good habits are those that have not been subjected to scrutiny of unrealistic expectations from others (especially in our early development). In order to create good habits one should re-create the pleasure or excitement behind driven action by eliminating any false believes of our incapacity or inability to succeed.
Another way of saying it, we need to discover the value of the output of what we're doing. Doing something has a cost. And when we know the value will offset the cost, then we're more motivated to act on it.
I think this is one of your best videos Andrew, I agree that at the end of the day, if you don't want to do something, no matter how much you force yourself to, you won't stick to it.
Video summarised identity = behaviour = results you incur... so focus on identity shifting rather than behaviour change to allow long term behaviours to stick ... Example of how to do this, affirmation. Matt is a high achiever with endless energy!
I've watched every video of yours and i do work for some hours or a day and this too will help me , but I encountered that the main problem is that one day I'll wake up and forget all the things you said and boom i am in the cycle again ,this time it's like a thousandth time I am feeling motivated.
Your approach is so so brilliant!! You don't just state something, like "oh you should do this", you explain everything logically. Like, "dude here's the logic, use your braincells, you'll know this is what you should do" and that's just extremely helpful because then it's not just abstract self help tips from a TH-camr, its sound advice that forces you to question yourself and take action and make a change (if one is willing to use their braincells ofc lol). Thanks for the videos. Really, really appreciate them 🙏
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your channel! You had me at "Intentionalism". Now I'm binge-watching your earlier content. Just what I needed at the right time. Thanks, Andrew!
Andrew, I do love your content - you make me think. May I also interject here though that mental conditions such as ADHD or OCD, etc. also might play a role in our inability to form certain habits. Learning to navigate with mental disabilities - whether mild or severe - is another aspect you might want to include in your presentations.
Core beliefs are key. What you put into your brain (inputs) influences your core beliefs. I really needed this video to remind me and get back on track.
This makes complete sense. Growing up, I was always trying to overcome poor habits, but repeatedly failed. I know part of it came down to having a mother that I could not trust, and who gaslit me into next week. She would occasionally tell me to perform a standard positive habit (wake up ealier before school), but then she would always sleep in and, as dumb as it sounds, I did not realize the importance of giving oneself time to get ready for the day. Instead, every time I woke up, I would scramble about here and there, cortisol running through my veins, looking like a train wreck. I only became aware of the truth when I read that pretty much anyone who is successful has routines prior to starting their working day.
I connected this to something and realized a truth. This was taught to us at a class in org dev. That for changes to happen in an organization, you need to align the culture to your goal. I understand a part of it but when I watched your video that made me totally understand it. The core beliefs is the culture and the habits is the steps to our goal. Thank you!!
Spot on Andrew Kirby! Great channel. What you say about behaviour versus core belief is exactly how I used hypnosis lp\mindset since young to FINALLY get myself to stick to new habits and tasks, despite having ADHD. This is true for everyone but especially important for those with ADHD to realise, as it will be even more difficult to master without truth, as you say.
My favorite part of your videos is how you marry science with intutive emotional truths. Adopting a worldview where the two forces are in harmony with each other is true wisdom.
Nailed it. Again. The first part was a bit confusing as you explain the Pain/pleasure process, the carrot and the stick for finally saying it was useless.
Yes True, The Knowledge makes a person strong believer. But for children I think the principal of Reward and Punishment works Which in turn becomes habit for them from childhood.
Really, really good! Thank you! I consider myself rather good at searching for my inner truth, so this is an enormous help. Especially since my willpower runs "backwards" 😒 (when I decide to do something I usually do the opposite)
Hey Andrew I wanted to ask you for help, do you have any advice to give me on how to focus on studies while there is a lot going on and a lot of noise around you? Because of the quarantine, I have been stuck at home for more than 3 months, I will have an important entrance exam at the end of the year, but I simply cannot study at home even in my room, people talking or even a little noise already make me lose focus Im worried and i really don't know what to do. I am already grateful because you helped me when it came to procrastination so I decided to ask for help ✊🏻
My parents were telling me to brush my teeth and if not they were beating me. Until the habit was installed in me by the time I became really aware that it is actually good for me to brush them. The man in the 1957 was fundamentally right. My mother is smoking about 40 cigarettes every single day since at least 35 years and has never been sick of anything relating to the lungs.
I want you to talk more about emotional understanding. You already talked about how negative emotions about a task lead to procrastination, and how controlling emotions will help you get where you want to be. Ritual is one of the ways to achieve emotional understanding, one simple example is cheering to self. I have to follow my diet, I understand that for me not following the diet means I lose many decades of life. But I still were not able to maintain diet. Emotionally my brain did not understand. This relates to dopamine management, the question is - how our brain knows when to reward an activity? Its through emotions. So for example to make myself do the budget count I imagine that this activity will result in me buying a fancy car, right after im done. This produces enough of emotion to get the "ok, do it". Can you share more tricks or rituals for how to produce such emotions?
@@AndrewKirbys No need to change "subscribe brutton", it's clear enough. ;-) BTW: I like your approach of habit formation as a motivation thing. Consistent with BJFogg's triangle Motivation, Ability, Trigger - can't recommend his work on habit formation enough. As a little addition to your stance: there are two sets of motivational beliefs to be investigated: (1) beliefs that motivate the old behavior; (2) beliefs that motivate the new behavior (or habit). They are quite different, and while (2) need to be developed (like you did with toothbrushing), (1) need to be "dismantled" where possible. I speak from personal experience, study and working as a life coach.
Great vid 1 small bit of criticism. You put the best bit of advice at the end at least in my opinion. It was impossible for me to truly change anything until I became aware and honest with myself like you said. Would really love to see a whole video on those subjects. Super powerful stuff my man keep it up.
Thank you so so much for this video. I've been struggling with doing some online learning (it's not even for a grade, just for professional development)----putting it off, finding excuses not to engage with the assignments, etc. Your video came at exactly the right moment (actually, I wish it had come out about 2 weeks ago!). It's given me the push to figure out why, WHY I don't want to engage with the online course, what am I telling myself? I'm actually looking forward to figuring this out because it affects other areas of my life. Thanks again and I look forward to more of your videos. (BTW, how did you become a TH-camr?)
Yeah, I think that's true in some extent... I really have done something I thought was really hard for me, but then I read a book. It opened my mind. Then I did it. Almost effortlessly. Because my mind and my emotion said yes.
i totally lost my belief in school system... which resulted in less interest in studies now i am procrastinating .. yes its true.. core beliefs define how we shape our habits. and i don't think i would be the same person again
Wow. The great thing about this video is that it shows you another(new for some) method that could be utilized toward you accomplishing great things. For some, the environment may be enough, for some the reward and punishment method may be effective but attaching your emotions to a potential habit based off of something that really resonates with your core beliefs and who you are. You could start great habits and break bad ones at the drop of a dime. Another great video. Thanks!
So, The main thing is Core belief. Example :- If you wanna study but constantly procrastinating, Then the core belief should be like this - " Study is very important &If you wanna achieve your dreams (Study related) Then you should start study now.. Or you end up being nothing in life and regret later.In short, You will be unhappy with your life. This is my example.. I think I could make better example... But this is also Good.. ☺❤
finding purpose in something leads to wanting to do certain thing. find reasons why you want to study and focus on how much fun it can be once you get good or better at it... like doing something you are good at is usually kind of fun....and making it a habit
I use the saying “your brain is not your friend” which is a saying Cus D’amato used to train Mike Tyson and it means your mind will tell you any excuse to get you out of doing painful things that make you great, so you have to go with your higher self. It’s a weird saying but it works for me
3:16 rewards don't have to be positive in order to increase behavior because in psychology positive in the context of rewards does not refer to "good" -- it means that you're adding something. So a positive reward could be giving a treat, while a negative reward could be taking away something unpleasant such as letting a dog out of its cage. The same applies to punishment in terms of positive vs. negative
Truth with out Love is useless. The most successful people do what they love. Have a goal and a vision and fall in love with that vision. You need to LOVE THE VISION without this you will fail. You want to become an artist now imagine you are a successful artist and what that looks and feels like. Your new home will have a room dedicated for art, imagine your art work in portraits in your home, imagine your calendar full of contracted jobs, imagine being proud of your artwork and clients calling you up all the time. You're making good money, you're doing what you love, this is your new life. Now surround your environment as much as you can with your vision. Have books about learning to draw, have a collection of art work that you want to simulate on your walls, have your drawing station, attend art classes if you can, watch videos about full time artists and take notes, day dream about becoming a professional artist, and most importantly draw, draw and draw and take pride in your work and pat yourself on the back. Fall in love with your vision and now make your goals. Each goal should be small so you can accomplish them relatively quickly and get that dopamine reward to propel you and make momentum. Once you have fallen in love with your vision, doing it will become pleasurable and rewarding, no more willpower needed. A mother gladly takes care of her baby and she spends no willpower doing it. If you ask her isn't hard work? She says yes but it's so worth it, she doesn't mind it. Even in those difficult moments like waking up at 3am to her crying baby she needs no will power, her love is her power.
Hello Andrew and thank you for another incredible video. A lot of respect for you. Could you consider making a video on how to quit sugar-chocolate addiction, on cravings and repeated trial and error?
Thank you for inspiring complete strangers like myself! That officially makes you a role model. Now if you don't mind, I have some self-reflection to do.
Sometimes focusing on behaviour change, willpower or environment isn't the best way.
What to do then? Hhh
Andrew, you're godsent.
@@HuluEditing Nah, he sent himself :)
I *am* a [ Healthy Person] I do those activities that a heathy person does. Healthy People go to the gym. Healthy People don't smoke. Healthy People brush their teeth. I am a Healthy Person. I do those things.
I have deep respect for BF Skinner, his ideas allowed me to isolate specific undesirable behaviors in other people marked as "bullying", and for me to learn not to reinforce those behaviors that occasionally pop up in others. BF Skinner is great for studying and analyzing behavior.
...But, and this is a huge but. BF Skinner's ideas have limitations, even with the fact that I highly recommend his work - and a proper class in behavior modification. His work as you said, focuses extra heavy on observable behavior, and focus very little on internal states.
...But what you stated reminded me of one of my favorite self improvement gurus, Christian D Larson. He heavily emphasizes mindset in his books, only he does not call it mindset directly. Concentration and Thinking for Results are two of my favorites from him. I'll take a direct quote from the book Concentration by Christian Larson.
..."The purpose must be to live beneath the surface; to make the great within our chief realm of life and concern. We may act upon and with the external aspects of life; but we must make the deeper fields of thought our real place of business. For surely, if we would master the deeper forces of life, we must live and think where those forces arise and develop. This therefore, is a matter of imperative importance." - Christian D. Larson.
...That quote gives me chills, implying the existence of a subtle but immense power that is available to all who wish to put in the work necessary to possess it. The entire book is filled with a certain logic and wisdom to it. But that passage really stuck with me.
We’re going to see this guy on a Ted Talk one day and I can’t wait
Hey bro, you don't have to wait
th-cam.com/video/pUD1lcgIwew/w-d-xo.html
Yes!
every one of his vids is like a ted talk
Theres so many of those its not a big difference anymore
@@electrolyteblend If you're gonna prank someone like that, the least you can do is use this video:
th-cam.com/video/GHMjD0Lp5DY/w-d-xo.html
"Habits are far more related to our core beliefs than to the action itself." Damn.
That one also struck you hard as me
🧘♂️
"Core beliefs" doesn’t answer the logical problematic behind behavioral mechanics. It means nothing.
Obviously though. That's why it's hard to change.
@@severusfloki5778 mechanics?
Two things.
Out of personal experience, whenever I do not want to do something I know I should be doing, closing my eyes and asking myself:
"Why do I not want to do it?" and
"What is the reason I am doing this activity?" usually helps. As soon as I am at the step of consciously thinking about why and why not I usually already made the decision to do it.
The second.
Instead of forcing myself to just go to sports every day without any kind of personal reward attached to it, I started counting the days I consecutively stuck with that plan. Thus I break my own highscore every day and it really feels good. Currently 40.
Just some ideas that may help or not. Have a nice day.
Now this should work.
"He who has a why can bear any how" - Nietszche
To add onto Andrew's thoughts with experiences from my own journey:
1. Rooting out negative self talk/toxic beliefs: i worked with a meditation coach and we did deep work and rooted out beliefs that seemed innocuous to me at the time were actually quite self limiting and self tyrannical. They had roots in my childhood, reinforced by well meaning parents and maybe not so well meaning society but were ultimately harmful
2. Have a vision/ideal: I take this one from Jordan Peterson. But I was literally able to drop previously addictive behaviors I couldn't drop before (such as smoking weed and drinking excessively) because I had unknowingly created a vision in my mind of who I wanted to be and smoking and drinking just didn't have a place in that vision. Once this became more apparent to me, I've begun thinking more about and Journaling about the vision of my ideal life.
3. Changing mindset through the spoken word: I've always spoken to myself as a way to unpack and process my thoughts but I never realized my spoken word had power. With my meditation coach's suggestions, I crafted a morning routine of positive self affirmations that I would speak out loud during my morning showers (attaching a new habit to an old one), and I would speak out loud (I think speaking them out loud and hearing them is key) and anchor these affirmations by always ending with the same three phrases. I believe this is so important because you need to change he conversation you have with yourself in your head otherwise you're going to be trying to improve but always subconsciously sabotaging yourself.
Hope this long rant helped somebody!
do you have an email. i want to talk to you because i have the negative habits that i can't get rid of
Thanks for sharing these learnings ! :)
@@syafiqrazmi6115 just ask here man
It helps a lot, thank you for sharing.
Or... to summarize.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Probably sounded better in german innit.
Rogerio single sentence but extremely tough to apply
I don't have the why :(
You have to have a chaos in yourself to give birth to a dancing star.
The same dude said this. I read it in an MV lol.
Aneesh Basrur What’s MV
People don't realize the potential they have if they are disciplined. You can accomplish in 1 year what it would take someone else 5 years to do. Stay disciplined 👊
So TRUE! We all stay disciplined!
Same thing goes for what you can do in 1 year you can do in 3 months.
We are taught the responsibility is stressful teach yourself responsibility is joyful. Don't think that if i do this i will be happy.likewise if am discipline i will be joyful not true, being think like being discipline is joyful and happy .
@@kishorsivesh3242 Indeed habits are so powerfull for a procastinator like me. When I get in a habit I can do something I could never done before, but if I stop once or twice the procastination starts to kick in again. So the only way I can get something done or get better at something is to never stop.
This kind of thing, in my opinion, is like revving the engine really hard with the handbrake still engaged. I think, at least in my case, it would be synonymous with lying to myself.
It makes me feel inadequate when people trot out the line "You can accomplish in 1yr what it would take someone else 5yrs to do". I think perhaps I put myself into the 'someone else' category.
Funny how we focus so strongly on changing circumstances in an external world where we have little power and ignore the high-leverage changes we could address in the internal world where we are so much more powerful. Why is that? Some see internal change as criticism of who they are. This is deeply challenging. To grow past this we have to admit to deep imperfection and learn to embrace it, we are all a work in progress. Its part of what makes life exciting.
This is exactly how I overcome the craving for any processed food/sweet/junk etc - no matter how much of it is in my environment in the home (there's a lot from others) I can effortlessly resist any temptation or desire because of my core values and the importance of healthy eating. I struggled with willpower for so long - I could last months then I would cave in and binge.
Same for brushing my teeth - I have no dental health care and no need for it because I brush and floss twice a day no matter the time or how I feel because I know the importance of it.
Once it's there you no longer have to spend time deliberating or using will power, you make the decision through your subconscious at that point.
I call it - Autonomous Ultra Instinct.
Why do I always feel that by watching his videos makes me go round n round. I always find myself where I have started. Everytime I watched his video, I analyse it and try to follow it. But I result in loop.
Asking the questions " Like why I am not where I want to be" its just powerful, thumbs up to this video and keep going !!
His introduction about taking care of his teeth resonates so much with me, his mom words also mirrors what my mother told me years ago. When I was a kid my Mom will practically brush my teeth even when I'm already half asleep then the time comes where I should be accountable enough for taking care of myself .... in which I failed miserably. By this age my first molar got extracted due to severe cavity and now my teeth are already misaligned and produced a wrong bite. My teeth doesn't feel the same after the extraction honestly. I was also diagnosed with mild scoliosis due to my bad posture growing up.
I get to realize how many bad habits that I have that piles up into big consequences. I'm 21 years old who lacks routine and suffer so much from anxiety. Everything is getting worse knowing that I brought my problems to myself.
Dude this notification really got me
Same
We're a gang now :)
Andrew is good at getting one's attention.
I'm learning the art as well with my channel ♥️
You did so much better than me with the teeth brushing... When nobody reminded me anymore to do it, I just stopped brushing them for years as teenager. Until I screwed them up. Now I'm brushing them for many years, but it's too late. And I don't have money for now to repair them... That's one of my biggest regrets in life. That's a great video!
8:30 Habits are related to our beliefs than to the action.
Another Key Point
Instead of forcing yourself to do that thing, it is better to want to do that thing.
Now that is the truth.
Step 1. Actually decide if you want the benefit of doing the habit badly enough, if it's worth putting in the effort
Step 2. Design your environment to make it as easy as possible to do the habit long term (or design your environment to make it as hard as possible to do a negative habit you want to stop doing)
Step 3. You now know that you actually want the benefits bad enough to do the habit, you designed your environment to help you as much as possible, so from there just use your discipline to stick through the rough patches
1. Actually want it
2. Design your environment
3. Use your discipline from there
This is true for me because I can motivate myself to exercise because I want to be healthy in my old age and not end up in the nursing home. My mindset motivates me more than any reward or punishment. Great video.
True.. this works for me too...ur reason behind starting a new habit shud be genuine and u shud be honest about it to urself
Damn, bro. This specific video gave me the goosebumps. I’m a 26 years old brazilian guy and when I was 21 I started a lobby and crisis manegement company. We went very well, the name of it was “Action” and we made it big last year, huge office, many employees and a lot of money coming in. But i was miserabile, had to put a lot of effort for making things happen, because my mind and my behavior were totally disconected. Early in this year I quited the office and started a start up accelerator, focused on world changing businesses. We named ir Cór (core) in order to remember us to always have our “Actions” aligned to our cores, wich is the feeling we have when we are being true to ourselves, so hard nowadays. Im working 12 h a day now with a big simile and way heathier. Thanks for synthesing it so well and please dont stop this great work!
Cool story bro
Mark my words this guy is going to be HUGE soon.1M subs in next 6 months. Such talent!!
I have got IMMENSE value from your videos, but this one takes it to the next level. This is the one that helped me deconstruct my own roadblocks. But it's kind of scary, because sometimes that deconstruction results in you realize the thing you're "meant" to do doing isn't what you were meant to be doing at all.
I work at an American Fortune 500 company. Your insight has helped motivate me in my professional and personal life. Not all your viewers are young or at entry level in their careers. With that, consider opening a Patreon or other way people can support your efforts beyond not skipping adds or signing up for personal lessons.
He’s right. I relate to this video very personally. Having the motivation to complete the things I want to do has always stood in my way. I used to hear everyone say “just force yourself to do it” and things like that. But I would always think to myself “wouldn’t it be much better if I really wanted to do these things?”. Now, my mental state has heavily improved and I found a little bit of meaning and purpose in my life. It’s easy to do the small things now because I can see a bigger picture. Thanks for the video Andrew!
Applied behavior analysis (ABA) is a field that might interest you, as well as a book called ‘Behavioral Karma.’ Humans are more complex, but we too operate under the same behavioral principles as other animals do. “To want to do something” is called an establishing operation in ABA, and it is something that comes before the process of “cue -> behavior -> reward.” Great video!
Sometimes the truth sucks, but knowing the truth is better than not knowing the truth, because knowing the truth allows you to act accordingly (whether that means in the way of continuing your habit or creating a new one).
It comes down to an identity shift. Agreed. But sometimes external factors make it really difficult to stand by your identity. Sometimes things just happen and you can get real anxious or depressed, and you just think to yourself “to heck with an improvement mindset”. Like it’s an internal battle where you know “obstacles are good and build character and xyz” but you’re in such a pit all the negative emotions suppress and outweigh the beneficial ones. How does one deal with that?
Awesome script! I'm really impressed how you incorporated repetition without it being annoying. Also a video that is worth writing along with to catch the meaning of the video. Keep them coming, I am learning!
"when i was a teenager" I thought u still were, cheers from brazil
he could be like 20
He gives solutions to the society's problems and not for his own job money mindset. I appreciate his commitment and responsibility
Yeah, I have that kind of behavior which when I'm in the process already, I'm thinking that my reality or actuality is still different from what I've planned to do that loose myself momentarily in the momentum I have created. And realizing that maybe I'm just carried away to something that came up in my mind, positive or negative that made me an idea to do something.
And that leads me to just live in my head, optimizing my unbalance condition that became my personality as a person. No certain output, just in my head. Seemingly silent person in the outside. And don't really sure to have an effortlessly sure decisions to make when in a normal condition.
It's all just an illusion, deluding myself!
Changing the Core Believes like our motivation for fear of realization (I don't want to end up with rotten teeth) will not always render long-term term effect. Fear, even constructive fear: one that gets us away from bad habits is still aversise in that it hendicaps our creative mind (problem solving mind) in response to challange (creation of good habits) and renders one in capitulation out of exhaustion of possible failure. Effortless habits, especially the good habits are those that have not been subjected to scrutiny of unrealistic expectations from others (especially in our early development). In order to create good habits one should re-create the pleasure or excitement behind driven action by eliminating any false believes of our incapacity or inability to succeed.
Another way of saying it, we need to discover the value of the output of what we're doing. Doing something has a cost. And when we know the value will offset the cost, then we're more motivated to act on it.
I think this is one of your best videos Andrew, I agree that at the end of the day, if you don't want to do something, no matter how much you force yourself to, you won't stick to it.
He is only one person I have seen who gives practical examples that works thanks bro
Man, being following for a while now, your content only gets better thanks
Video summarised
identity = behaviour = results you incur... so focus on identity shifting rather than behaviour change to allow long term behaviours to stick ...
Example of how to do this, affirmation.
Matt is a high achiever with endless energy!
Andrew keeps improving!
So nice to see this channel growing, keep it up mann
Thanks brudda
@@AndrewKirbys i thought u called him buddha . Nvr mind
@@vanillacherub6847 , 😂😂😂👍
@@AndrewKirbys I didn't know you was Jamaican, mon. I guess you learn e'ery day. Lol!
I've watched every video of yours and i do work for some hours or a day and this too will help me , but I encountered that the main problem is that one day I'll wake up and forget all the things you said and boom i am in the cycle again ,this time it's like a thousandth time I am feeling motivated.
Your approach is so so brilliant!! You don't just state something, like "oh you should do this", you explain everything logically. Like, "dude here's the logic, use your braincells, you'll know this is what you should do" and that's just extremely helpful because then it's not just abstract self help tips from a TH-camr, its sound advice that forces you to question yourself and take action and make a change (if one is willing to use their braincells ofc lol). Thanks for the videos. Really, really appreciate them 🙏
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your channel! You had me at "Intentionalism". Now I'm binge-watching your earlier content. Just what I needed at the right time. Thanks, Andrew!
Andrew, I do love your content - you make me think. May I also interject here though that mental conditions such as ADHD or OCD, etc. also might play a role in our inability to form certain habits. Learning to navigate with mental disabilities - whether mild or severe - is another aspect you might want to include in your presentations.
Core beliefs are key. What you put into your brain (inputs) influences your core beliefs. I really needed this video to remind me and get back on track.
It's amazing to see how much your confidence and editing skills increased in just the last year, Andrew! Keep it up!
This. This right here. This is what I've been searching for all this time. Thank you.
This makes complete sense. Growing up, I was always trying to overcome poor habits, but repeatedly failed. I know part of it came down to having a mother that I could not trust, and who gaslit me into next week.
She would occasionally tell me to perform a standard positive habit (wake up ealier before school), but then she would always sleep in and, as dumb as it sounds, I did not realize the importance of giving oneself time to get ready for the day. Instead, every time I woke up, I would scramble about here and there, cortisol running through my veins, looking like a train wreck.
I only became aware of the truth when I read that pretty much anyone who is successful has routines prior to starting their working day.
I connected this to something and realized a truth. This was taught to us at a class in org dev. That for changes to happen in an organization, you need to align the culture to your goal.
I understand a part of it but when I watched your video that made me totally understand it.
The core beliefs is the culture and the habits is the steps to our goal. Thank you!!
Spot on Andrew Kirby! Great channel. What you say about behaviour versus core belief is exactly how I used hypnosis
lp\mindset since young to FINALLY get myself to stick to new habits and tasks, despite having ADHD. This is true for everyone but especially important for those with ADHD to realise, as it will be even more difficult to master without truth, as you say.
Hope to see him in a TED talk one day. This video was the best advice I've ever seen.
My favorite part of your videos is how you marry science with intutive emotional truths. Adopting a worldview where the two forces are in harmony with each other is true wisdom.
Nailed it. Again. The first part was a bit confusing as you explain the Pain/pleasure process, the carrot and the stick for finally saying it was useless.
Is it just me or are his video's production quality getting better and better?
How is he doing this the man is gifted
isn't that obvious
Yes True, The Knowledge makes a person strong believer.
But for children I think the principal of Reward and Punishment works
Which in turn becomes habit for them from childhood.
Super, Andrew. Very useful. Useful to lay out the simple steps to take to make a shift in mindset. Thank you!
Yes! About time someone stated this. Subconscious belief implementation first to form habits that lead to your desired reality.
Really, really good! Thank you!
I consider myself rather good at searching for my inner truth, so this is an enormous help. Especially since my willpower runs "backwards" 😒 (when I decide to do something I usually do the opposite)
Self-awareness is the key 🔑 Great video brother.
This has been my favourite channel lately.
This needs more attention.
❣️ From India. 🙃
(tl:dr) greatest achievement in this video: being able to brush teeth regularly without struggle
kidding aside, great advise as usual! thank you.
Hey Andrew I wanted to ask you for help, do you have any advice to give me on how to focus on studies while there is a lot going on and a lot of noise around you?
Because of the quarantine, I have been stuck at home for more than 3 months, I will have an important entrance exam at the end of the year, but I simply cannot study at home even in my room, people talking or even a little noise already make me lose focus
Im worried and i really don't know what to do. I am already grateful because you helped me when it came to procrastination so I decided to ask for help ✊🏻
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi.
Love the increase in quality over these last few videos!!
Thank you Andrew for the video. Thanks for uploading videos to keep motivating us
DUDE the perspective change I just got🤯 thanks man
Thank you so much for your time and help 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
My parents were telling me to brush my teeth and if not they were beating me. Until the habit was installed in me by the time I became really aware that it is actually good for me to brush them.
The man in the 1957 was fundamentally right.
My mother is smoking about 40 cigarettes every single day since at least 35 years and has never been sick of anything relating to the lungs.
Life is about daring to explore new ways of being proud of yourself.
I want you to talk more about emotional understanding. You already talked about how negative emotions about a task lead to procrastination, and how controlling emotions will help you get where you want to be.
Ritual is one of the ways to achieve emotional understanding, one simple example is cheering to self.
I have to follow my diet, I understand that for me not following the diet means I lose many decades of life. But I still were not able to maintain diet. Emotionally my brain did not understand.
This relates to dopamine management, the question is - how our brain knows when to reward an activity? Its through emotions.
So for example to make myself do the budget count I imagine that this activity will result in me buying a fancy car, right after im done. This produces enough of emotion to get the "ok, do it".
Can you share more tricks or rituals for how to produce such emotions?
What you say is very true! Core beliefs really do depend on how seriously we take our responsibilities. Bravo!! Great video!
It all comes to being & doing the things like the person you want to be.
Here before he changes the title
You made it :)
@@AndrewKirbys No need to change "subscribe brutton", it's clear enough. ;-)
BTW: I like your approach of habit formation as a motivation thing. Consistent with BJFogg's triangle Motivation, Ability, Trigger - can't recommend his work on habit formation enough.
As a little addition to your stance: there are two sets of motivational beliefs to be investigated:
(1) beliefs that motivate the old behavior;
(2) beliefs that motivate the new behavior (or habit).
They are quite different, and while (2) need to be developed (like you did with toothbrushing), (1) need to be "dismantled" where possible. I speak from personal experience, study and working as a life coach.
gang gang
It's OK to change titles. I can relate with that
Ton Bil ...thnks
Great vid 1 small bit of criticism. You put the best bit of advice at the end at least in my opinion. It was impossible for me to truly change anything until I became aware and honest with myself like you said. Would really love to see a whole video on those subjects. Super powerful stuff my man keep it up.
How he says processes... my oh my!!!🔥
Thank you so so much for this video. I've been struggling with doing some online learning (it's not even for a grade, just for professional development)----putting it off, finding excuses not to engage with the assignments, etc. Your video came at exactly the right moment (actually, I wish it had come out about 2 weeks ago!). It's given me the push to figure out why, WHY I don't want to engage with the online course, what am I telling myself? I'm actually looking forward to figuring this out because it affects other areas of my life. Thanks again and I look forward to more of your videos. (BTW, how did you become a TH-camr?)
Yeah, I think that's true in some extent... I really have done something I thought was really hard for me, but then I read a book. It opened my mind. Then I did it. Almost effortlessly. Because my mind and my emotion said yes.
Really appreciate all the effort you put in your videos. 💯
i totally lost my belief in school system... which resulted in less interest in studies
now i am procrastinating ..
yes its true.. core beliefs define how we shape our habits. and i don't think i would be the same person again
The best presentation of REBT
Love it. This came out at a great time for me, thanks Kirby
Wow. The great thing about this video is that it shows you another(new for some) method that could be utilized toward you accomplishing great things. For some, the environment may be enough, for some the reward and punishment method may be effective but attaching your emotions to a potential habit based off of something that really resonates with your core beliefs and who you are. You could start great habits and break bad ones at the drop of a dime. Another great video. Thanks!
So, The main thing is Core belief.
Example :- If you wanna study but constantly procrastinating, Then the core belief should be like this - " Study is very important &If you wanna achieve your dreams (Study related) Then you should start study now.. Or you end up being nothing in life and regret later.In short, You will be unhappy with your life.
This is my example.. I think I could make better example... But this is also Good.. ☺❤
Wow who new I already implemented this because I always seek truth, but still thank you for the video.
You’ve kept the habit of dishing out great videos. It’s nice to see that you’ve kept that habit for so long
You're doing great great job man.
God bless you.
Wow... I needed to see this, thank God for putting it here
finding purpose in something leads to wanting to do certain thing. find reasons why you want to study and focus on how much fun it can be once you get good or better at it...
like doing something you are good at is usually kind of fun....and making it a habit
For thoughts like “Im tired” or “I dont have the energy”
How does one get thenselves into a different mindset?
Try saying, "My body is telling me to recharge." It's more positive and doesn't deny your experience of reality.
@@wittymystic7361 nice 👍
I said nobody gives a f**k if I'm tired, I must put in the work.
I use the saying “your brain is not your friend” which is a saying Cus D’amato used to train Mike Tyson and it means your mind will tell you any excuse to get you out of doing painful things that make you great, so you have to go with your higher self. It’s a weird saying but it works for me
Self-hypnosis.
You are awesome...gonna watch it rn asap for sure...thanks a lot man!!
Thank you for this video. Much respect
Yes man... thanks a lot, this is what I needed today... your informations are just pure gold... thanks for your effort and passion to do this...
You are one very, very, very, very smart young man. I’m hooked on your knowledge and wisdom.
SUPER HELPFUL
my difficult is to believe I'm capable of doing something nice
Keep going with these videos Andrew! You touched my mind in so many ways you, thank you!
3:16 rewards don't have to be positive in order to increase behavior because in psychology positive in the context of rewards does not refer to "good" -- it means that you're adding something. So a positive reward could be giving a treat, while a negative reward could be taking away something unpleasant such as letting a dog out of its cage. The same applies to punishment in terms of positive vs. negative
not super relevant to the big idea of the video but I just wanted to clarify
Hi Andrew, I'm not an expert on vlogging but you should zoom out a little so we can see your hand gestures. Great content btw!
Great video! Really liked this different approach to habits
Truth with out Love is useless. The most successful people do what they love.
Have a goal and a vision and fall in love with that vision. You need to LOVE THE VISION without this you will fail. You want to become an artist now imagine you are a successful artist and what that looks and feels like. Your new home will have a room dedicated for art, imagine your art work in portraits in your home, imagine your calendar full of contracted jobs, imagine being proud of your artwork and clients calling you up all the time. You're making good money, you're doing what you love, this is your new life. Now surround your environment as much as you can with your vision. Have books about learning to draw, have a collection of art work that you want to simulate on your walls, have your drawing station, attend art classes if you can, watch videos about full time artists and take notes, day dream about becoming a professional artist, and most importantly draw, draw and draw and take pride in your work and pat yourself on the back. Fall in love with your vision and now make your goals. Each goal should be small so you can accomplish them relatively quickly and get that dopamine reward to propel you and make momentum. Once you have fallen in love with your vision, doing it will become pleasurable and rewarding, no more willpower needed.
A mother gladly takes care of her baby and she spends no willpower doing it. If you ask her isn't hard work? She says yes but it's so worth it, she doesn't mind it. Even in those difficult moments like waking up at 3am to her crying baby she needs no will power, her love is her power.
Tremendous, highly indispensable video. Thank you, Andrew.
I really needed this, thank you 🙏🏻
Love you Mr. Kirby. Thank you for helping me to keep going 😊
Hello Andrew and thank you for another incredible video. A lot of respect for you. Could you consider making a video on how to quit sugar-chocolate addiction, on cravings and repeated trial and error?
Thank you for inspiring complete strangers like myself! That officially makes you a role model. Now if you don't mind, I have some self-reflection to do.