Your Ultimate Superpower When Dealing With A Narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2020
- Narcissists, controllers that they are, want to drain you of your psychological energy. They seek to elevate themselves by keeping you feeling uncertain about yourself. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter calmly asserts how you can find ultimate power as you focus on your inner resolve to be who you choose to be. As you build upon your inner strength, there is one statement that will become foundational to your superpower to deal with the narcissists in your life.
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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My narc ex said: If you leave me you and your kids will starve on the streets. Well, he was wrong. My sons and I built a great family life and I started a new career path in teaching. He was so wrong. 😁
May God bless you and your children
Teacher Susan mine did too. He convinced an entire court that I couldn’t take care of myself. I finished a college degree, worked for Chrysler for 21 years and own my own home. Our daughters are grown, relatively happy and have their own families. I heard from my ex every week while I owed him child support and for awhile when my youngest was on her own but not finished with college yet. As soon as the money dried up he was nonexistent. In a way it was a relief but still it was hard to wrap my mind around him using me that way. I was an object to him not a human being. At 59 I am worn out from it though. My mind is exhausted. I have PTSD and my mind seems to ruminate on it all instead of just letting it go. I don’t like the loneliness and the whole idea of being used for extra income.
@@guylamullins3602 neurofeedback sessions helped me to get out of the ptsd looo.
What a great testimony!!😊 God bless you and your son!
This sounds very familiar
Repeat after me.. what someone thinks off me is not my business!
Why should anyone else care?
But when from nowhere they start using your poxy childhood nickname, you know you're dealing with 'the narc'...👌
*of
Sun Flower lol
A book by Terry Cole-Whitiker...
Thank you
Having emotional maturity & self control is your superpower. It's the very essence of what they lack.
Thanks ,I appreciate that. Emotional maturity & self control are super powers.
Survival Thinking Style:
1. I know we can handle this
2. I trust myself *superpower*
3. At some level, there are adjustments I can make to dealing with problems if we can dedicate ourselves to solutions and changes
4. I am resilient and can bounce back
5. I’m not perfect but I’m adequate
6. I’m able to manage my life quite nicely and if you don’t believe in me, I’m not going to melt
How can we know we can trust ourselves when facing (distrustful/condescending/contemptuous/superior/dismissive/angry/dramatic/chaotic) narcissistic expressions about us?
Core tenants to build your life upon:
1. You have inherent worth and dignity
2. You have basic competence
3. When you fail, you are capable of learning and moving forward from it
4. Contempt and disdain says more about the broken person expressing it
5. I’ll do as I choose knowing that I don’t require the narcissist’s blessing
5. I know the value of boundaries and consequences and the bully doesn’t have to have ultimate say over me
6. Truth has a way of rising to the surface and I won’t buckle to smear campaigns because being me isn’t risky
7. My decency and goodness I represent is soothing and speaks for itself, is honest, can be inspiring, and I don’t need to be someone else at the condescension of the narcissist
Steadiness, goodness, and peace!
Thank you Dr Carter ❤
Well done! Thank you for that accurate and helpfull summary 😊
Trusting yourself is a deterrent to gaslighting.
Amen to that!
Wow Doctor Carter, you look amazing. I take courage in the thought that I will get to the point where I thrive under any circumstances. I TRUST MYSELF. God bless you!
@@kellystrait1341 perhaps they felt you had been ignoring them for so long (I.E. minding your own business).
One phone call that put you in the spotlight.
I trust there was no harm done. That running around in circles feeling that makes you feel like nothing has been achieved.
It could have been mild narcissism, then again some family members want to keep you on track, the straight and narrow, seeming to them they are being directly concerned about matters.
Take charge and why not give them a few regular calls in series and see if it shuffles them up in their own zone?
I suppose you know them well enough and let them take the lead.
Invasive people.
@@kellystrait1341 Good analysis. Mild manner manipulatists, you give them the straight facts and they will alter them fitting to their own rights and intentions.
Wish I could be the person to hang up on them (from time to time).
@@kellystrait1341 Oh, a blind date in the pipeline, your ex's? 😳🤣
Indifference. Do not react and give them the fuel to play on. When there is no audience, they will take their show elsewhere to perform for others. Stay empowered and safe, dear survivors!
Just like you would allow a toddler to throw their tantrum and wear themselves out.
Betsy Hood, exactly! Been practising this and it works like a charm!
I like that 👍👍👍👍👍
Give them no audience...YES!
It makes them so angry as they try more tactics in their
‘useless bag of tricks,’lol
I don't know if there is a specific response or approach to any situation, barriers aside.
Intercepting the narcissistic is always advantageous. Approaching the narcissist with a load of fuel on your hands might cause them some suspicion.
'Indifference' is certainly a midway point whereby usually alot of people care to operate from.
Your opinion makes alot of sense Nel (if you don't mind me referring you that way), but Dr C cautions about bringing the game to the narcissist (yet we aren't all psychotherapists). Catch 'em at the right time and it could make for scintillating differences. Why not if it happens to be that they are regularly probing into you on-the-fly and of course if their problem is far worse than bad attitudes,,?
Maybe even use an audience to bring it all home with...
It amazes me just how real this personality disorder really is.
This shit is chronically everywhere!!! Society has been overrun by these disgusting sacks of fermented cat piss.. Goodluck Chuck! This culture encourages and enables assholes and their pathetic shitty behavior.... I have no confidence in our species anymore after dealing with so many of these soulless meatsuits....
@@vanessamorey3812 I feel yah.. 😞
It is the worst. It causes good people to question themselves, and it’s a dystopian nightmare. On a plus note there’s hope and also a even more appreciative life once healing begins. Dr C is a class act, and treating others with dignity and setting healthy boundaries, is a wonderful way to handle these folks. They are a mess, and while they try to put anger or frustration in your life, they suffer very much being who they are. Nothing to do for them but stand clear, as they always think they’re right, even when evidence after evidence proves them incorrect.
it is REAL- pervasive and insidious, too
It is incredible how many people are fooled by it.
"I cannot change others, and so I change myself."
And some days it feels near impossible to change our own self, let alone thinking for 25 yrs I could change a malignant Narcissist?! (In my naive defense, I did not have this info during those 25 yrs) Wow...young, altruistic and still believed in happily ever after. I'm my own hero now and day by day I try to be better than I was yesterday. That's all we can do.
It is so freeing ... especially when we allow ourselves to set limits and are gentle with ourselves 😀
@@pisces_chick2511 It's so true !
I'm nearly 30 !!! years was married to one ...
Woke up ...
Will live again
I hear YOU 💓🙏
Be true to yourself and thrive again !
@PerceptionDeception Does it really matter if it's AI and not a stranger to you? If I am suspicious that I'm chatting to a bot, it doesn't bother me . If anything, I often prefer a bot over a stranger because AI knows my intentions are good and I don't feel any need to defend myself.
I only mention this because you have the word deception in your name. I believe AI often mirrors people but with a positive twist and you don't have to worry about accidently hurting or offending AI, through not wording things well enough and being misconstrued. (Just my opinion)
PS. I do realize that you didn't say that AI anon teaching you was a bad thing.
Pisces _Chick , as Piscies myself I happened to find some answers in compatibility sections of zodiacs.
Dignity and self worth are the primary targets for destruction in the narcissist pathway. For to stand up for truth and honesty marks you for annihilation
I agree with him. While it’s true They are threatened by it a person with dignity and self worth which may I initially make you a target, it’s really the only safe route to go, consider the alternative: if you don’t have self worth and dignity they will be drawn to you anyway because they want someone around who has no self worth because they are easy to use and dump on
The wind changes when a narcissist comes. You can never change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails. But if you are sick of changing sails all the time, find your peace in more tranquil waters.
Love this!!
Beautiful comment! I don’t think people realize that the NARC is only a vampire interested in their blood. Peace is a worthwhile goal, not glamorous or exciting, but relaxing and thought clearing.
very poetic!
Or find your peace within, regardless of what is happening in your surrounds.
"I release you" by dr les Carter. Get the protective shield around you and never get hurt again ❤❤❤❤
Watched this on the edge of my seat through to the end! When doc finished with the question. Do you trust yourself? I bawled my eyes out with relief, joy, validation. Thank you doc you're a good man. You're keeping us out of the lions den.✌❤
It has nothing to do with me, their actions are a reflection of who they are. A narcissist is a toxic person, so run as far as you can from them and free yourself.
This is one of the most important things for us to remember. They are empowered by our self doubt.
Staying calm and focusing on self.
Very close! Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism thank you for your dedication 🙂
One rewarding summary or opinion Liz, let's do it!
@@SurvivingNarcissism heartbeat raises by tailgaiters. Where I am in Indonesia they drive like a swarm of flies.
Love and success, persued by compassion. The results can be one big pile-up when nothing gets changed.
If the poor narcissist is so unhappy with you & finds you such a bad person to be with then maybe you should leave in order to help them make their life better. "Yes I quite agree with you dear. You will be so much happier without me."
Sarah Strong I love this and I've mentioned that I don't know how some people can even talk to me if they hate me as much as they seem to. 😂
I said the same thing...."why would you want to be with me if I am so messed up and crazy?". That shut him up and had no reply.... I then walked out of his life!!!!
I told. My wife she would be better off without me.
I can't figure out the logic of her response, " then you get to be the big hero".
@@fmbmrtjdpcmrtb8030 Good idea. All the best.
Yes, trust yourself and go no contact. That is what I did. No one can take the constant manipulation forever.
“I’m good at being me.” Duuude you just blew my mind
Trusting your instincts can be especially difficult for codependents as the desire for approval and validation interferes with the simplicity of it all. If you feel you're codependent ask yourself this: if someone else whom you cared about was dealing with the same narcissist you are dealing with would you recommend they trust the narcissists opinion or their own? Exactly. Do the same for yourself. Validating, accepting and approving yourself is the first and last step you ever need to take. That is trust.
This is brilliant, I only ever fall into that codependant (usually dependant) mode because I was taught to be that way growing up.nthe criticism, negativity, punishments rages passive aggression and always fearful I was wrong.... only when im around my n.fam. its true if I saw someone else going through the same thing I'd say come over here, I will be there for you! SO I should trust myself more! How you've put it really resonates. I've often thought if I wasn't related to them would I want them in my life and the answer is no or only in tiny doses. Yet because I'm sick im not able to get away but least I can do is trust myself. Narcs never want you to feel good about yourself It's as if it's in their dna to make us feel less than. Strange to me as I like to validate others. Great comment, wishing you well, you seem to have a handle on things 👍👏✌
You are the most loving person I ever heard speaking, I mean extremely helpful, I am so thankful for your supporting the needy and the poor people like me.....
So pleased. Thanks again, vita, for your encouraging words. Dr. C
Yeah, looks like he really loves his work and teaches good things (at least by human measure).
@@user-rv9vw5ef9e A wonderful TH-cam mentor. Do you ever wonder if he used to be married to one?
I agree whole heartedly... Doctor Carter is awesome!
@@SurvivingNarcissism i am also a lifetime empath of my narcissistic mother and delivers for decades and became her primary supply. But now in 2021 i realized that she uses me for her own selfish needs and abuses myself many many times which i cant recognize so now i started grey rocking her and emotionally detached myself from this pshycopath.But by doing that verbal threats like dont giving me food, getting me out from home etc increases. But still i detached from her and started enjoying life and get back happiness which i dont have in my old years
To me, the hallmark of narcissism is their insistence on setting up a one-down-one -up relationship with you. Making you doubt yourself and your judgment is necessary to put and keep you "one down".
That tactic is spotted from a mile away..like Crab 🦀 in barrel mentality.
Basically the imbalance
The number 1 Rule that can not be changed in a toxic narcissistic relationship...."The Narc is Better than you are"....all things said and done, fall under that rule.
Thank you. Narcissists are so lying and deceiving.
I told my narcissist husband I am filing for divorce. Got endless hysterical personal attacks as he paced around the room about how, "Noone will marry you! You will get old and sag and noone will marry you,"
God bless Dr. C and his videos which I had been watching.
I replied, "My future is my own to think about. You do not worry about me"
Just like that, I felt all the control slip away from him, I felt whole again, no longer an anxious mess constantly burdened to defend myself.
Dr. C, you have given me my narrative, my formerly happy self back. Thank you doesn't begin to cover it.
❤️ What a great response 😊
@@RippleDrop. thank you :)
“Im not perfect, but adequate.” Is a great quote of yours. ...especially when you are criticized and you know it’s true. It’s NOT about me, it’s about the narcissist that has the problem.
hi, here to help, you mean*" you know "that its not true"..
Wendi Watson I don’t get it. What is not true? Be clear.
I have on one occasion told someone that I was not interested in their opinion of me. Then of course I thanked them politely for sharing their thoughts.
Raised by narcissist mom; today she's a good godly woman. She surrendered to Jesus. I'm a magnet to Narcissist 🥺 I'm married to one now. I left the house when he teamed up with his daughter (my Stepdaughter) to humilate me, but has asked me to apologize to his daughter for my reaction. I seriously feel so drained and I was falling apart until I started listening to your videos. I been watching you videos for 3 days in a row non stop, literally! My husband is pretending his sorry, but I don't believe him anymore. He says I'm sorry, but still wants me to do what he feels is right. He is such a bully! But he acts like the good guy and blames me everything bad that happens. I do need counseling
Trust the one who's earned it. Yourself.
Laura Radar,I admire your lovely smile
They can spot empaths a mile off who are usually caring, giving and have a conscience. It's like they feed off that "weakness". Alone time is vital to figure out if you're being manipulated by a narcissist.
You can't even imagine how much you have changed my life. I had a child with a narcissist 24 years ago. I felt useless, unattractive, and other emotions that I cannot even describe. Its like if I needed his approval to just live. I didnt know why I stayed with him even though he never said sorry for the many many things he did. A HUGE THANK YOU. Now I have the strength to walk away from him. He no longer has a hold on me. Now I have to work on feeling...because I dont find pleasure in anything. I think I am numb but not in a good way. But I know that time heals. Im giving myself time.
Yes, be patient with yourself, and lean forward! Dr. C
Cheer up ,move one 🦵 and move another one and dancing 💃 Christmas is coming .
I feel the same way. My narc wife controlled my emotions completely. Happy, sad, happy, sad, sad, happy sad etc. kept me completely off balance. If I tried to challenge her about various bad behaviour she would crush my emotions, starve me of happiness. I stayed for the kids and the illusion that I could fix whatever the problem was. She made me think it was me. Even tried convincing me I had bipolar or something. She is a very toxic person.
@@Peecup sad so sad I truly understand really I'm in a horrible situation myself I don't know who I am anymore I see no way out I need a roommate that will pull there weight but cannot trust anyone I can't make it alone paying my own bills it's crazy I don't have children w him mine are grown but still it's so hard he throws his weight w his money too thanks for sharing I feel I'm not alone just reading all of these posts God bless 🙏
Wanda I am with you I truly understand and feel same exact way it's pure misery he throws his weight I'm on disability I need a roommate I can trust but I cannot trust anyone I have no family only adult children that has no clue they don't understand i try to talk to them but he plays nice guy to them ya know it's hard I need put before something happens I'm miserable here God is my only way at this point I can only trust in him plus I need a few surgeries long ago past due it's so hard thanks for sharing with me it makes me not feel so alone when I hear others talk about it thanks again prayers my friend
Your advice has been instrumental in amazing personal growth after years of not "trusting myself". In the midst of conflict, I hear your calm, firm voice coaching me. Thanks Dr Les, your big heart comes through in all you do. Gus is a great example of being calm! Cheers
Same goes for me. X
This talk is one of the best you’ve done!
Thank you!
I’ve been married to a narcissistic sociopath for 24 years. I am not who I used to be. My joy and soul has been stolen by my emotionally bankrupt husband, but now I have hope. I trust myself!!!
My cryptonite was..i let him know " I know my value and its much higher than yours "
Surround my self with nice POSITIVE PEOPLE.
To narc: “You are the only person who has ever accused me of being a liar or .... (fill in the blank). You are entitled to your opinion. But I have integrity, so as sad as I am about it, if you can’t see that in me then I guess this is goodbye.”
Beautiful! 👏🏼
Too much explanation, in my opinion. They don't deserve it. Simple "goodbye" would do just fine.
@@ritasachik3831, I agree. The less you say the better off you are when dealing with a narcissist. You are your own person and you have every right to your feelings. Be proud of who you are and be happy in the fact, thank the Lord that you are not a narcissist. Don't let the narcissist take that away from the lovely person you are. Narcissists are hell bent to destroy you, because you are the opposite of what they are. They feel empaths are weak, useless, and stupid. It is not just you, but narcs. think this way about everyone. They truly think they are the cream of the crop and people are beneath them, which is not true. Even when narcs. go into combat with their own kind, one will be the looser. Just like the king cobra. When a cobra fights one of their own kind the winner will eat the dead carcass of their challenger. Don't think you have to take control of the situation and argue with them. You don't owe them an explanation. When you rebuttal their remarks it just gives them more fuel and supply. If you try to explain, they will easily twist it around and triangulate, and manipulate you. Don't participate in their mind games. It takes way to much energy to do so. Don't allow them to rob you of your joy and happiness. The best way to get back at the narc. is to live without them. Live your own life the way you want to. Set your own barriers. Go no contact with them and gray rock them to death. This will drive them absolutely nuts and insane.
on lockdown, it's not so easy...
@@prometheuspredator7971I could never express and describe it in a more perfect way as you just did! Beautifully worded! ❤️
After 29 years of myself and my now grown children being used and abused by my wife I would always get emotional every time I would try to talk to her. She feed of of it like a leech. Last time I talked to her on the phone I satiated calm and showed no emotion and handled everything with no anger and it brought out every bit of hatred that she had. Every minute that went by she go more and more irate. It was like a bomb went off inside her when she realized she lost the control she carried over me.
You did great! Congratulations!
How did it feel after??
Nice job!!!
Congratulations!! I've always been an angry, upset, tired, sad, whatever mood...CRYER!! I then would get so upset with myself because it's hard to communicate when you're pissed but bawling like a baby. Hard for people to take you seriously. I would love to conquer & master that in myself. Proud of you!
Thanks for sharing your victory story with us! It shows it's not too late
I can relate. Same thing with me and my ex. He lost control of me but found ways to still destroy me.
It boggles my mind why anyone would choose to remain in the presence of a narcissist. I was raised by one and the constant struggle against their narcissism was so great that I couldn't wait to get away from him. We never had a close relationship while I was growing up and we never had a close relationship after I left home at the age of 17. And, what I learned about narcissists through my experience is that no one can have a close relationship with a narcissist. Therefore, they just aren't worth the effort. Just get away from them as soon as possible and move on with your life. It's a whole lot easier than trying to figure out how to protect yourself from them while remaining in their company. They're never going to value you as anything other than a punching bag that makes them feel better. Read that last sentence as many times as it takes for it to sink in - then, run away from the narcissist as fast as you can and never look back.
I agree 100%
Punching bag is the right word !!!
You sound a little narcissistic. Better to ask how anyone gets into a relationship with a narcissist. Because once in, you often can’t leave without hurt innocent others. Oh those who only consider their own needs can hurt those in their way of “being happy”. But then, you have to wonder, who was really the narcissist?
@@iamjustsaying4787 You don't really know what a narcissist is, do you?
@@richardowens9061 from your unnecessary condescending commit, I wager that you are
Contempt and disdain. It was so very very hard to live with that - married for 14 years to that. I am a fun, happy, extrovert, assertive, energetic person. I was courted by my mirror - I married my opposite! Finding that out was horrendous. 14 years later - 30 June 2017 - freedom
Yup, trusting and believing in myself and a deep faith in God.
Absolutely. Trusting God with my 16 year old daughter NBPD. (Narcissistic borderline personality disorder). My terminology. I pray for her daily But not allowing abuse anymore. I have to take care of myself
@@ingridferg9779 ITs the media, it has sickened our minds, full of occult themes,which left unchecked by the WORD of God, we end up acting out destructive behaviors unconsciously by ritual.
Spot on!
@@FarmersAreCool There will always be those who want to use God's word THEIR WAY for nothing BUT controlling others, and the new attitude, "hate the sin/Love
the sinner" no way do I like that, like no one has the guts to tell someone they are wrong anymore, hate what they did but love them and it comes across like ur not to
tell them they were wrong? What kind of BS are they going to come up with in
another 30 years?
@@raymondgarafano8604 We gotta sort Christendom out right now. We Don't have 30 years. 7 billion people are going to have to bend their knee all at once.
Detach and letting it go.
It's impossible to detach, which would be the only right thing to do, when you have a child with narc. But as less contact/communication as possible is definitely beneficial.
THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST VIDEO FOR ME TO 'MARCH ON IN MY DIVORCE', HEAD HELD HIGH AND HEART STRENGTHENED. I DO TRUST AND LOVE MYSELF.
Good luck, Terry! Dr. C
If u have known a narcissist for a long time, and u bump into that person, u simply kill him with kindness. They will be nice back, in a fake way. U know their character, so u play the game.
When I was being destroyed I reached out for help. A therapist ,who saw me briefly and had published work on Narcissism ( a word that I had not even explored) told me to stand up and walk. She told me to stand up tall and in that moment, I knew that she meant show your own " agency". I like that word . I always gain so much from your videos. I wait in anticipation.
Marie Rose I love that ....STAND UP AND WALK”. That’s perfect! Thank you 💜💜
Yes, trust yourself, have
your ‘own agency’!!!!
Yes!
I am doing that now!
No more abuse...
They are sinking ships and karma will get them...😀
Ann Schurman Amen to that, Ann! Right there with you Sister! On my way out of this abuse!
YUP
@@LynnT6904 I like that as well I'm going to try it with my narcissist.
I had a narc living below me in an apartment complex, and he took a dislike to me, and made my life hell in a bunch of ways. One was that he ended up formally complaining to the board for noise complaints. If I was simply cleaning, he would accuse me of moving furniture, if I was bundling up recyclables, he'd accuse me of making a racket, etc. All exaggerated, no complaint reflecting reality, and all daytime, normal hours, me doing normal everyday things. I kept every text and email, and I responded to his formal complaint by noting every complaint he made and what I was actually doing during that complaint, and what time it was. The board completely sided with me. Despite all of this, part of me always felt awful, and it was very difficult to stay strong, and remind myself that this was totally on him. I think for women, especially, we tend to feel guilt and shame when there is absolutely no grounds for it, b/c we were socialized to be that way. Also, if you have that personality type, the narc senses it and knows you are a good target. I moved out, but if I so much as drop something on the floor I still feel my heart start to beat faster because of him, as if I am making too much noise. Anyway, the "trust yourself" sounds simple, but for so many of us, it really is a tough one. But it is the path through. May we all absorb a few drops of the arrogance these jerks are overflowing with.
I think you handled this situation like a BOSS! You DID trust yourself and took very specific measures to combat his craziness. If you didn’t “trust yourself,” you would have been wracked with guilt and doubt and bowing down to his demands. We don’t WANT to have to fight, to defend ourselves (particularly when it gets legal) but we are forced to at times bc the aggressor sets the rules of engagement, not the peacemaker. And if you CANT leave right away, sometimes you must engage in the battle. But you were SO prepared!
the same situation I have here Perth Australia
He might be schizophrenic.
My narc mother would sneak over to the neighbour's property and get their dogs barking, then run home and call bylaw officers to complain about the barking dogs.
Another neighbour was building a new house- did she take cookies over and congratulate them? Nope. She claimed rare and endangered plants were being destroyed so there had to be a whole environmental assessment, and there were no endangered plants.
They are nuts and really should be branded.
BTW, I jumped out of my skin when a bird flitted past my window yesterday...I don't think you ever really get over it.
It sounds like an extremely stressful place to live. It’s always some thing, one neighbor, without ever meeting me decided that she didn’t like me & Caused trouble. Another neighbor, across the street, we’d chat a couple times a year, till evidently his wife told him that he couldn’t talk to me anymore. Weird.
It made my narc sister so angry when I told her I don't trust her. Once they know the spell is broken they will drop you. Once they know you trust yourself and love yourself, you are of no use to them. My narc sister turned into a little four year old victim when I got myself back. Poison growing up with her.
Wow! This is so helpful to me trying to end a narcissistic relationship with my disabled husband! My counselor for the last 10 months has been trying to guide me in understanding me to trust myself and that I’m not crazy! Thank you for your time!!!!!
Linda Ratzel,I admire your lovely smile!
Linda Ratzel,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
🤗Being me is so free! Enjoying this life while I trust in the God within me!🙏
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I trust in God and myself all glory to God God is great Amen 🙏
👍🙏❤️
“I do hope that you have gained some inspiration.....” Dr. Carter, it is more that inspiration, your soothing words each day are the only calming force in my life right now. I take a phrase each day and make my mantra to get thru the day. Today “I trust myself”. Another favorite “I release you” to the narc.
Yes....absolutely...I have been doing exactly same...infact required to use, in a tough situation 'I release you' very soon after learning it from Dr. Carter.
This Dr is right on the money - like he knows your personal story God bless you as you help those ( us , me) in need
Amen. Good for you @Star Dust
Amen !!
Although I still love the character my ex narc played, eventually I would have hated the true person he was and my heart is not meant to hate.
That's right. I really felt a sense of loss, UNTIL I realized that I was mourning the mask. Missing what could have been, NOT what Was. After a while, I was able to emotionally believe that the "person" I was in love with, DID NOT EXIST. I knew it but my emotions didn't for the longest time.
You are one of a kind person. You have a heart of gold.
@@251omega That sums it up so completely! I have been in mourning for 6 months. Shared friends make it hard but the person he is showing is not someone I can trust or respect. Contact is painful so I have cut contact any way I can. Empathy can be a weakness unless balanced with empathy for myself.
@@lilianfowler7988 That's the hard part. We're so used to sacrificing for everybody else, but we always put ourselves last. Of course WE are so much more able to take the hardship than whoever we're helping. WRONG. We've been taking it and it takes it's toll, but we ignore THAT. Until we get that monthly, weekly, or sometimes, daily betrayal. That's when we start thinking about how unfair it is that we do everything for them, but when it's THEIR turn to return the favor, they're not just gone, they are oblivious. That's the worst part... they don't even know. And when we tried to remind them, there's something wrong with us!
---> I'm 2 1/3 years NO CONTACT and She only crosses my mind every two or three weeks, now! Everytime I do, I make myself remember specific times when she went out of her way to make me cry! I give that memory-good-time-bias a run for it's money! I'm almost to the point where I either don't think of her at all, or when I do, it's no longer with longing for 'what could have been'!
---> I strongly recommend that you find as many times during the week or during the day, as you can, to sit by yourself quietly and listen to (my favorite) music of "Dr. SaxLove", here's a link to today's Live show. th-cam.com/video/c6POVhj7iaw/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=Dr.SaxLove
To describe how much good it does for me, would be an impossible task. At least give it a try and let me know if you find the same truth in the music. Bill
i wish i'd had a therapist like you instead of the one i had... mine encouraged me to put all of my trust, faith, and energy into my narcissist and gaslit me when i was starting to realize that the relationship was unhealthy. i felt incredibly guilty for feeling that way, so i kept letting him take more and more from me. :( a few months ago i finally told him i can't take this behavior and the way he treats my friends anymore. i talked about it to my counselor and she defended him saying he can change back to his "real" self for like one session but that was it (she works at my college and knows this person)... she was more interested in talking about my sexuality (i'm gay) than helping me. i don't see her anymore. watching videos like this on youtube has helped me more than she ever cared to. thank you for what you do. :)
There are many bad therapists out there. Be discerning.
I would say knowing very clearly who you are (boundaries, etc.) and not being afraid to communicate that clearly to everyone. Also: total indifference to their competitive attempts to outdo you 🤔🤷♀️🌚
I was watching another TH-cam show and they recommended you for anyone who needed help with narcissism! I thought that was so cool.🥰
That's good to hear! Dr. C
Swamped instantly by a million calls.
Mearly I assume, narcissists pretending they need help ☺
@Gordon Fornow Those are MY TWO also.... i like them both. Equally. Dr. Carter is calm. Dr. Ramani is passionate.
Thank you for this. My mother was a narcissist and my life was a living hell for so long. I am in therapy and now feel I'm ready to break the chains of that relationship for good and work toward a happy life.
Love This!!! there are many vids about narcissist... I don't care about the "Narcissist" (thats what they want anyway) ... but this is about how to change yourself! How to get away from these lunatics! Great therapist.. always enjoy his vids! Thanks doc - if you read these!
I gave so much of my time and resources to narcassistic individuals in my extended famly. I owe them nothing and my life is so wonderfully fulfilling without them muddying the waters daily . I trust myself. That's my secret weapon!
I trust myself, being me is easy. 😍
TY! I’m adding “I trust myself” to my morning mantra along with “I forgive myself”
I had never thought about how important self trust is! Thinking of it, narcs usually target vulnerable persons and, often, when you're in you're a vulnerable state, your self trust is not at its top. Thanks, Dr.C, for these eye-opening videos.
Co-parenting with a narc is a disaster for me and mental and emotional harm to a child because there is Not such a thing as co-parenting with narc... Looking forward to this live video with a hope to learn valuable lesson.
A video on co parenting with a narcissist would be GOOD!?
If you can, make a plan. Start looking for work in another state and move. It will take time. But do it. It’s what I told my nephew to do once he gets sole custody of his daughter. Sell the house once you get another job far away in another state because co parenting is NOT WORKING. He is looking for a transfer in the Navy. So that’s helpful. The Navy is everywhere.
Completely agree, very difficult been there and got the t shirt, unfortunately.
Its awful to be tied to a narc for life. I have 3 children with him and feel stuck. Left twice and went to my mom's knowing it wouldnt go well. Now, Im back in his home and his mask fell off in 3 weeks. Sick of bouncing back and forth between an abusive narc and an emotionally distant mom and sick of letting him break me down so that I am unable to focus on what I need to do to finally stand on my own. I try to follow all the advice from Dr. Les and other experts on narcissism but its so hard when you are a peaceful, loving person that WANTS to be that person all the time. I feel like I have to shut down my emotions or hold onto the anger to get through it sometimes and then I realize my kids are the only ones that notice mommy isnt OK. They're not getting the best of me, the happy mom they need and deserve and meanwhile, he's whistling dixie from the minute he gets home. This video is exactly what I needed because i will be fine all day and then about an hour before he's getting off work the anxiety kicks in and last night as soon as he got here my PTSD hit me so bad I was locked in the bathroom shaking and crying and kept thinking "I cant do this." Now, I am going to try telling myself I CAN handle him and whether he is nice, or mean, or acting like I dont exist... I will try my best to keep doing me and moving forward.
@@BeatnikDesigns Act like he does not exist, it can be a good way of coping. Mine insisted that there was something wrong with me and insisted that I go to therapy, I went and the therapist insisted that she see him separately. He kept threatening to leave and I would just say that was his prerogative in the hope that he would go, he was violent as well as emotionally and financially abusive and I had no chance of leaving as he would lock me in all day. Firstly the therapist persuaded him to stop locking me in and then she told me that there would be no way that he would leave unless he thought that he could hurt me in doing so. She explored that with him and it turned out that he had been having an affair so he left to be with her.
It didn't work out for him and he was a pain in the arse throughout the divorce and afterwards because the stupid judge let him have unsupervised contact, which he used to further abuse me. I secretly recorded the abuse and then moved miles away. He took me back to court saying that I had moved to stop his contact, but I just said that I had moved because of the abuse and that the move meant that my parents could handle the contact handovers, I showed the secret recordings to the CAFCASS woman and hey presto further contact was denied.
His marriage to wife number 2 a foreign lady ended when he put her in hospital for 3 weeks, he was remanded in prison but got out because she walked into the police station and rescinded her statement and then went AWOL so the Crown Prosecution Service dropped the case against him.
Sometimes if the narc accuses me of being or doing something, I agree. It totally throws him off and he accuses me of trying to manipulate him😂.
This is possibly the best advice I've ever herd. I'm really tired of not being true to myself to try and please the narcissist in my life. From this point forward, I'm going to be who I truly am. Thank-you.
They also try to make you doubt yourself and that's what my narcissist did when I was with him gaslighting me make me doubt myself that was a really good one
There's Gus, popping his head up. He must be the sweetest angel to be around. Thanks, for everything.
I have been gaslighted so thoroughly and for so long that I legitimately don’t know whether the narcissist is me or her.
definitely not you. I felt same way. Was gaslighted for 5 years.
See that's how they work, they make all their problems yours. The fact that you even question your self awareness or perhaps lack thereof is not something I think a narc is capable of.
If you are wondering if your are the narcissist you aren't they never think that
sitting in tears after yet another episode with my husband and oh boy has he managed to make me look like the unstable one. I wish I had the courage to leave... he knows i am in therapy for ptsd due to a sexual assault yet he belittles me still
I trust myself but more importantly I trust God to lead me through the mess that is the narcissist. The more I trust God, the more I trust myself. We know who wins in the end of this battle. 💎🕊💙🔱🔥 God bless you Dr. Carter! I know He sent you into my life as a blessing and an inspiration. 💫 Have a wonderful day
Daphne GLORY TO GOD!!!!!!!! Just waiting for the sky to open !!!!!!
So glad there's someone like you in the world as well as those pesky narcissists. They make you crazy. You make us feel sane!
I guess the statement is "whatever". As for behavior (something the behavior speaks more than words) I think it is ignoring the narc. When attention is denied, the fake persona starves and the narc is not in a good place.
Ha, good point! You might be right.
Very true! They dish out the Silent Treatment like Skittles, but they hate it for themselves. 👍
@@mdee860 omg so true! My covert abusive narc mother dished out the silent treatment to me FAITHFULLY whenever i disagreed with her on something, refused to knuckle under to her, demanded too much empathy and compassion from her ( in her eyes) I n the place of routine constant verbal and emotional abuse from her, etcetc.
I hate the silent treatment, i think its the worst form of abuse on the planet.
Very bullying behavior and full if negativity.
So, now im no contact with her, and have been for 13 yrs.
Utter silence...and she is going absolutely bonkers over it.
Narcs ignoring narc blaming it on the starving empath.
Such a brutal cycle with ignorance hung on both ends.
@@thehotcoffeehouse6081 she might be so terrified to engage with you.
Usually those types of mother's had a boyfriend who influenced significantly.
I only got about 20 mins a week to speak and relate with him, he always came home after work, my Dad.
Being aware of their personality disorder tendencies, the ways that the disorder manifests, and thus not absorbing their control tactics, their devaluation, their projections helps me take back personal control and stability.
Realizing, as you said, that their behaviors communicate more about who they are than who I am keeps their tactics from grounding my personhood into powder.
What I am most concerned about now is learning how to connect with healthier people. A lifetime of withdrawal and keeping so much to myself as a means of psychological survival makes it hard to know how to open up and connect.
Dr. Carter, your videos have been extremely helpful. Thank you. I think that I would benefit, and probably others here would as well, from a video about healing from long-term narcissistic abuse and learning how to connect with people when secure attachment has been a rarity.
I add my concern for youngsters who live with a narcissistic parent and grow up feeling invisible!!! What options do children have?
Susan Turner stay invisible or cut the narcissist throat metaphorically give them a Shakespearean death.
@@susanturner139, It's such a difficult situation, isn't it. So toxic!
Psalm 27:10 "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close."
A relationship with the Creator was definitely my lifeline. However, some survival strategies - withdrawal, dissociation, etc.- turn out not to be as beneficial in the end.
BTW: Occasionally I still feel "invisible." Awful, hollow feeling.
Thankfully, kids today can at least find sites like this one and begin unraveling the tentacles sooner.
Amen
catnc1 Thank you, having always been a Christian definitely helped me as I grew up in a toxic environment. The Lord doesn’t change even though my MANY church groups did... my mother didn’t believe in ANY kind of stability, so constant change was the name of the game!!! The good part was she taught me how to NOT raise my own child and my husband and I are rewarded with a delightful, mature and loving adult daughter!! I want to cry for the children who were raised like I was!!! As an elementary school teacher I tried to make each and every student feel important, cared for and full of dreams and possibilities! Maybe I have my mother to thank for that!!! “Her Legacy!” Hhm! ????? I love the Bible verse you quoted! I will write it in my journal and keep it in my heart! ❤️❤️❤️. Amen to that
The main thing that bothers me is when I'm driving he starts the worst when I do finally get into a store it is insane I'm so upset I can't even shop or remember what I'm getting or clothes shop I'm so upset I don't feel like getting for myself 😔 when I'm allowed to get out I have severe panic and anxiety attacks thank you for just listening
And you end up thinking there is something wrong with you. Be yourself, love yourself and trust yourself. There is love for you from Our Creator, Our Lord.
Just remember, the narc is extremely and profoundly insecure. They project their fears on others.
Thank you for saying this. I already had anxiety being in public, but now that fear is mixed with what the narcissist is doing while im away. I fear betrayal mostly. But also the fact that without being able to maintain the situation I fear coming back to an unknown situation. I will leave him while he’s happy and come back to a silent treatment or lecture..
@@Lauren-gs1eh the same thing happens toe just never know how he's going to act when I get home accusing me of cheating etc. Silent treatment I completely understand I hate my life right now I wish I could run away from all of this I just can' make it alone I'm on limited income can't trust getting a roommate don't have any friends at all not one 😔
GOD BLESS YOU for showing me how to understand my sister of 66 years of playing with my head and all the hurt she did to me ,and i never understood why i was the asshole and she the best of the best the family hero ,replacing me in the family with a friend so she's the baby ,with this understanding i can look at the under tone and think its O.K. and have peace in my heart i still love her ,THANK YOU.
This reminds me of the 1st epistle of John, "I tell you these things not because you don't know them but because you do know them", or something very close to that
It is surreal to discover that my family is INDEED filled with evil. I had lied to myself for 40 years they were good people doing evil things. No, No, No! They are bad bad bad people who occasionally are nice. They are incapable of empathy, honesty, growth, and love. It is hard not to still be filled with hatred. Dr. Les has reminded me that I really should value myself just for fighting the good fight and surviving.
I hear you brother
I've just discovered my 27 yr old is a true narcissist. I'm tired of arguing with him and feeling less than. This one saying... Trust yourself truly helps. Thank you for your video. Ill keep looking at the rest and hopefully be able to feel more than less than. My bipolar makes it difficult but I need a new way to deal with him. Blessings and light to you.
Selftrust was the beginning, off self-destruction with the narc. Hard road to climb back to reality.
Appreciate this man. Dr. Carter, thanks you for your, well to me, Minstry. After being psychologically abused by my mother, and then suffering the same at the hands of my now, ex-husband, due to trauma-bonding.......your wealth of education in narcissism, and empowering words are monumental in my road to healing. At the same time as my divorce last year, God blessed my daughter and I with our first home. I believe there is hope, I believe I can forgive myself, I believe I can be FREE. Thank you for what you do 🙏🏾
Yes there is hope, Sherese. Keep leaning forward, and thanks for letting me be on your journey with you. Dr. C
You have been a coach for me for years. Thank you so much, Dr C
So pleased! Dr. C
This is so true. Because when I started becoming aware, in the last couple years of my 36 year marriage. I began to hear when he was lying. I could hear the real truth in the lie. Liars always tell on themselves. And I know it’s because I began trusting myself.
Why did you stay with a narcissist for 36 years?
I used to live in fear everyday due to my husband being narcissistic. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for your kind words of direction.
Keep learning! Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism You have literally saved my marriage Dr.C
Following our break-up, as we were trying to figure out a parenting plan, the advice I heard over and over was that you need a support group. Three years later, I can hardly say I have a support group (sadly), but I do have self-trust. It really is a super power.
Thank you Dr Carter, thanks to help and guidance im gradually getting back to me, i am able to focus on positive things and not feeling so guilty about not serving his every need. Im am at peace. It took about 15 months, but that was easy compared to the over 15 years of being controlled. I just concentrate on the life i want and the people who arent in my side are OUT...ive been thru far too much by the age of five to give up or not take the path i want for myself...im not the kind of person who wants to live a single life...but also i dont want to be subservient to someone who thinks they are better than me...its a 50/50...not a 90/10. One of these days i will find someone who is on the same level with me. I dont think i made it this far to not be happy. Good things to come!!
I'm dealing with a friend who I suspect is a narcissist, and I found this really helpful.
A good indication is how you feel after you are with them...
The former friend I had who I dropped many years ago, and later discovered was a narcissist, left me like an empty shell and feeling completely worthless after months of put downs and belittlement. It did take me many months to rediscover me and become myself again. Finding a new friend helped. Of course when the narcissist continued to send me love bombing letters months later rather proved that I couldn't have been so worthless after all as I hadn't contacted her once. The satisfaction was wonderful.
This video has come at a perfect time in my recovery. Thank you for inspiring me to trust myself. It’s been a life time of not truly knowing myself or trusting myself, it’s never too late to learn to be individuate and be who God created me to be. Thank you!!
Dr. Carter you are a gem.
Self-trust! What a concept!
🤗🤠
Thank you Dr. Carter. Nice BACKGROUND too, very calming as well as your therapy talks.
He has kept me so Busy taking care of him, I barely have time for myself
This man.. Dr. Carter.. has I think literally saved .. my life. SAVED MY LIFE. And even, GIVEN me a BETTER ONE.
So pleased!! Dr. C
Thank you Dr. Carter I needed this today. Please tell your wife hello and give Gus a big hug. May God bless and protect you and your family.
Thank you for your videos. I have been trying to heal myself from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. I need as much reinforcement of my value as I have had degradation on a daily basis. Every day, several times a day, I need to be reminded that I have value. Your videos do that for me and I appreciate you making them.
Sarah Williams,I admire your lovely smile!
The "being me..." should be a children's book, it's a great lesson.
To "Know Thyself" is the way to living freely, it allows you to break free from how others try to view and condemn you from their own perspectives. In other words, other people's opinions don't mean jack 💩 when you truly know who you are as a person.
Wow. Yes! I struggle very much at times with trusting my self, my thoughts, my intuition...everything. It gets much worse when with a narc. When I'm alone is when I make sense of what is what and I can hear my truth again and trust myself. I know they've sensed this instability within myself and used it to their advantage.
This was so informative as feeling particularly broken and empty and very depressed....Your Channel is a life saver! Thank You....I trust myself to soldier on....I trust you....
This is where I come when I feel myself starting to crack or crumble or question. Wishing you the best. 💛
So Sorry to hear you are suffering. You are a soldier. Keep soldiering on. Keep being The Star that only You can be!
Thank you so much your video's have helped me so much in my recovery.❤️15 mouths no contact. I did see him a couple times and he was doing the same thing to the new woman that he did to me.And if I hadn't found these channels and it was a god thing that I did, I would probability been dead or in the nut house.Thanks again.
This was an EXCELLENT VIDEO!!!!! I am grateful that you shared these techniques because as you affirmed "I trust myself....", Into our own self talk I could feel it's healing power (of the fear and anxiety) so a HUGE THANK YOU for giving us tools to help ground us. It's very brilliant. 💕😊
Its awful to be tied to a narc for life. I have 3 children with him and feel stuck. Left twice and went to my mom's knowing it wouldnt go well. Now, Im back in his home and his mask fell off in 3 weeks. Sick of bouncing back and forth between an abusive narc and an emotionally distant mom and sick of letting him break me down so that I am unable to focus on what I need to do to finally stand on my own. I try to follow all the advice from Dr. Les and other experts on narcissism but its so hard when you are a peaceful, loving person that WANTS to be that person all the time. I feel like I have to shut down my emotions or hold onto the anger to get through it sometimes and then I realize my kids are the only ones that notice mommy isnt OK. They're not getting the best of me, the happy mom they need and deserve and meanwhile, he's whistling dixie from the minute he gets home. This video is exactly what I needed because i will be fine all day and then about an hour before he's getting off work the anxiety kicks in and last night as soon as he got here my PTSD hit me so bad I was locked in the bathroom shaking and crying and kept thinking "I cant do this." Now, I am going to try telling myself I CAN handle him and whether he is nice, or mean, or acting like I dont exist... I will try my best to keep doing me and moving forward. REPOSTED THIS COMMENT. Sorry if you see it twice but I wanted to share with some other viewers struggling with co-parenting. Someone asked if Dr. Les could do a video about this. DR. LES, if you do can you please include those of us that are co-parenting while still living with the narc? Most of the advice I come across is for co-parenting after you leave.
I just left a female narc from an awful 12 year relationship. I know what you are going thru. It sounds like we could be a perfect match where we escape a terrible narc and enjoy the freedom to live a normal, care free life.
@@bonesjones988 LOL. Maybe a dating site for victims of narcs is just what we need! A year ago I would have said I never want a relationship again. I believed that I couldn't be with a man and still give my children all of me. I blamed myself for not being strong enough to act happy when I was dying inside or to leave. I thought that I knew myself well enough to know Im codependant and expect too much and cant handle emotional pain. I kind of backed this up with something I heard in therapy...that you dont have to learn to deal with people that trigger you, you can accept that you're vulnerable to certain things and AVOID them. So obviously...I cant handle the pain that is a part of all relationships so..I just wont be in one and I will just focus on my kids... ALL of that was the result of years of gaslighting and invalidation. Just recently, I started to feel like I WANT a relationship and in that moment I realized that I wasnt the same person I was a year ago. I DID get something out of these videos! I TRUST myself to handle whatever happens, I realize not ALL relationships are filled with pain. I admit I WANT to be loved and I dont want to be a single mom and that doesnt make me weak. I know I DESERVE to have a fullfilling life that includes someone that will be a partner and my kids dont have to lose a part of me.
@@BeatnikDesigns I'm with you, that I didn't want another one either initially, but after learning so much about narcs, I have a eye for them within a couple of days of interaction, and can walk away immediately if my senses tell me to do so. The dating site would be ideal, but you know narcs would infiltrate it, with their Hollywood like performances of love bombing.
Your situation is very simlar to mine. I have 3 kids and I don't feel like I'm giving my best to my kids because he causes so much drama, triangulation, and undermines my parenting. He is quick to blame all issues on me and constantly criticizes me or ignores me. I also get anxiety before he comes home from work especially after I had a stressful day at my own job. He never ask how I'm doing. Never...
Just agree with them and don't get sucked in to the chaos. Remember they are sick and needy.
My father used to say, 'you are your best friend'. Trust yourself. All the answers are inside you. Trust your gut feelings, your intuition, because they are the right answers for you. Thanks Dr. C. Say hi to Gus.
I am the center of the universe. Everything must revolve around me.
Power is the last thing I feel around the narc I still know. So, this will hit the spot.
Thank you for bringing clarity to my situation with my husband. He cannot get through a conversation with critisizing me, or falsely accusing me of something. And if I ask what he considers too many questions on a subject he loses his temper and starts yelling at me, calling me names and saying I'm brainless, etc. He knows I have ptsd, so he goes out of his way to push my trigger buttons so he can say I am the one being irrational and unrealistic. I cannot leave him because of health issues and entagled property contracts and legal obligations etc. You are my guiding light.
@@mj2026B I had a spouse like that. He would tell me I was crazy to object to his drinking, drugs, friends who behaved disgustingly . . . so I told him, I'll have to quit my job so I do not cause danger. Hmm. I was considered sane for a moment; he needed my money! I'm real lucky this did not backfire, because it sure could have! I did not know not to get tangled up in it. Making a point was pointless. It only felt good for a moment, then it was back to the life of a law abiding person married to a criminal, a disgraceful fraud.
I hope you never loose faith in the goodness in you. Sometimes, a way out appears. Its different for everyone. Maybe you found your way already. Blessings to you.
@@sage9836 'Power' is compatible as a sense, it can be without the requirement to feel in control.
Those tinny surges in your rights for exercising authority, they should always last a little longer than however long they do.
Seems as though at the time 'the job' had served a greater requirement than the needs of home life.
My father has been telling me I’m too prideful, and he’s been a tyrannical narcissist in my life the entire time. This video helped me realize I am capable without his approval
these lectures explain everything about my sister that i have tried to help but never succeeded in.
Thank you doctor for all your encouraging wordsI feel better knowing that I am not alone in this narcissistic relationship it is so hard to get out
Wendy,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
As always, your calm, strong wisdom soothes my soul. Thank you. I will practise trusting myself. 💚🙏💚
this was amazing!!! making our own movies and not acting like the narc wants us to, makes all the difference. he had a narrative about me, and i had to trust myself, and be myself and the truth came out.
one of my quotes for myself & to either people is "i can handle it". 😀 😺
"i can only be me". 😀
Thanks a million times over, doctor! This amazing session was "life changing" and is helping me connect the dots and make sense of all the "psychological torture" I endured at the hands of my narc-husband for almost 40 years, who I love dearly (when he's not being a jerk!) I can't believe I allowed the abuse to continue this long--it's almost like I convinced myself all the lies he said about me were true. I hated his control over me, knew it was wrong and knew that the next time I stepped "out of line", I would spend days, weeks, months berating him and defending myself. I had to "detach" from him physically and mentally and that is going very well. Today I had a breakthrough that could've gone south, but didn't because I reminded myself to trust myself, so I'm super happy! Thanks for empowering and revealing to me, my "super powers "...best regards.