Biggest Idiots In War

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 612

  • @Simplehistory
    @Simplehistory  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +49

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  • @kevindavidson8802
    @kevindavidson8802 วันที่ผ่านมา +142

    This reminds me of the old joke, During WWII my grandpa downed 10 German fighters, worst mechanic they ever had.

    • @xvoidfight1889
      @xvoidfight1889 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I don't get it

    • @brunozeigerts6379
      @brunozeigerts6379 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      @@xvoidfight1889 He was a German mechanic.

    • @nyxspiritsong5557
      @nyxspiritsong5557 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      That's hilarious! Love it!

    • @kevindavidson8802
      @kevindavidson8802 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@xvoidfight1889 I live in the US, most people assume when they talk about their grandpas in the war they were on the allied side, so when they say My grandpa downed 10 German fighters they think the persons grandpa as an allied fighter pilot. The joke ends up being one of those unexpected twist endings.

    • @xvoidfight1889
      @xvoidfight1889 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @kevindavidson8802 Oh, now it sense 🤣

  • @aleksandarvil5718
    @aleksandarvil5718 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +587

    *_"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."_*
    - Napoleon Bonaparte

    • @linuxsuperuser
      @linuxsuperuser 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

      i feel like he learned that from experience.

    • @PaintingWithLindy
      @PaintingWithLindy 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

      @@linuxsuperuser Most likely from Russia 🇷🇺

    • @kingofohio5689
      @kingofohio5689 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      Goes still Hard 🔥🔥🔥

    • @julianmhall
      @julianmhall วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@PaintingWithLindy Unlikely as Napoleon allegedly said it or something very similar in 1805 at Austerlitz.

    • @fatdaddyeddiejr
      @fatdaddyeddiejr วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I think Sun Tzu said that.
      And Napoleon you want to talk about mistakes? Let's have a war with Russia. How did that turn out?

  • @MTTT1234
    @MTTT1234 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +434

    Not really an idiot, but more of an arogant fool, was Augustus Adolphus of Sweden, who was killed because he refused to wear glasses. During a battle he lost sight of his own troops and rode on his horse towards what he assumed were friendly soldiers. They were not.

    • @Scavneger776
      @Scavneger776 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +52

      100% he was a very good leader that just made a fatal mistake that cost of him his life and more.

    • @simpro1756
      @simpro1756 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

      To be fair, glasses with corrective lenses were just appearing at the time meaning he probably wouldn't have access to them and glasses before that were just not worth the risk of loosing your eyes if they broke during battle.

    • @Divano-qw2sb
      @Divano-qw2sb วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      He also did not wear his armor during that battle.

    • @jimqatnt
      @jimqatnt 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      I was taught that it was because of a thick fog that rolled in that made him get lost and accidentally ride into enemy lines.

    • @zero1zerolast393
      @zero1zerolast393 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Guy sounds near sighted

  • @wilhelmvillagracia9670
    @wilhelmvillagracia9670 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +415

    Luigi Cardona was the best Austro-Hungarian general ever.

    • @TC1YT
      @TC1YT 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +34

      Best joke by far 😂 he helped Austria Hungary way more than his country italy

    • @lantruongtuan582
      @lantruongtuan582 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

      They should made him a national hero lol.

    • @javierandreszunigagarcia8791
      @javierandreszunigagarcia8791 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      CadoRna, not CaRdona...

    • @RaltBoi
      @RaltBoi วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Mama mia

    • @aliakber775
      @aliakber775 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      We must thank cadorna on failing 12 times on a insignificant river😊😊

  • @ExtantPerson
    @ExtantPerson 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +235

    Luigi Cadorna would be an excellent lesson for aspiring officers so that they can learn everything NOT to do.

    • @markstyles1246
      @markstyles1246 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      If you can't be a good example, try to be AN example?

    • @thingamabob3902
      @thingamabob3902 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      in the same way as aspiring tank designers are shown the british Valiant tank ( in Bovington museum ?) to try and find all of the many flaws.

    • @DonPatrono
      @DonPatrono 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      He is in fact studied in Italian military academies with a big red lettering of "Do NOT do this, it is dumb, and if you do it you are even dumber"

  • @Sandman10032
    @Sandman10032 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +781

    Okay but imagine going down in history as the man who saved the president who ended WW2, by shooting a moving torpedo with a pistol

    • @liamhashmi7750
      @liamhashmi7750 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      wait what??

    • @cartoonraccoon2078
      @cartoonraccoon2078 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +92

      @@liamhashmi7750 Didn't watch the video and went straight to the comments, huh?

    • @cartraz1839
      @cartraz1839 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +52

      Some guy tracked the torpedo with his pistol but didn't shoot

    • @liamhashmi7750
      @liamhashmi7750 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      @@cartoonraccoon2078 yea pretty much lol

    • @pfiction2453
      @pfiction2453 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      He saved Rosevelt, who won WWII, is what he meant to say.

  • @robertdacquisto6871
    @robertdacquisto6871 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +102

    “Wheel him to the deck for a better view”, man they don’t make em like FDR anymore.

    • @dunbar9finger
      @dunbar9finger 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Well if the threat to your life is that a torpedo might be hitting the ship you are on, up on deck is probably safer than inside. Going overboard and treading water until rescued is probably a better strategy for him than being stuck inside a room he can't get out of. He did a lot of swimming after his legs stopped working as a means of getting at least some type of exercise in.

  • @nizaralsaidi4279
    @nizaralsaidi4279 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +314

    Letting soldiers take their families with them on a large-scale suicide mission is just peak idiocracy.

    • @fiyahquacker2835
      @fiyahquacker2835 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

      1863 Civil War watchouts in a nutshell.

    • @Sorcerers_Apprentice
      @Sorcerers_Apprentice 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +30

      Camp followers were common practice in pre-industrial wars. They took care of logistics - foraging/preparing food, repairing clothes/weapons/shoes, medical care, etc.
      The Romans also had relatively good relations with the Germanic tribes in the area at the time, they thought they were still in friendly territory.

    • @standardgigachad3297
      @standardgigachad3297 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Idiocy***

    • @critter30002001
      @critter30002001 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      All major nations did that back then.
      Look up the Briton’s revolt. They did the same thing when facing the Romans.
      Modern logistics did not exist back then. So having servants and families along allowed for maintenance and support for the Soldiers.

    • @collaborisgaming2190
      @collaborisgaming2190 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Boudica did that and Lost 200,000 to 10,000 Romans trapped in a Ravine, in a Battle that would have made Nero Withdraw from Britannia if she Won.

  • @jokodihaynes419
    @jokodihaynes419 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +183

    "I'm surrounded by idiots"-Scar The Lion King

    • @Scrapyard24c
      @Scrapyard24c 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

      "I've got morons on my team!"
      - Megatron, Transformers Generation 1

    • @TheOneManWhoBeatYou
      @TheOneManWhoBeatYou 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

      "I'm surrounded by assholes!"
      -Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

    • @NicoBabyman1
      @NicoBabyman1 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@TheOneManWhoBeatYou
      “Keep firing, Assholes!”

    • @ShadowMark3_
      @ShadowMark3_ วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!

    • @brunozeigerts6379
      @brunozeigerts6379 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@Scrapyard24c Actually, I thought that was Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

  • @noHarmony1
    @noHarmony1 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

    I kinda expected Konrad von Hötzendorf to be on this list, but when I saw Cadorna being there I remembered "Oh yeah, there was that one guy that made him look almost competent" XD

  • @indianajones4321
    @indianajones4321 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +188

    For the military: Luigi Cadorna and Conrad Von Hötzendorf
    In general: The Politicians

    • @aleksandarvil5718
      @aleksandarvil5718 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      Muhammad II of Kwarazm AND Francisco Solano Lopez are in
      BOTH categories!!!

    • @GageEsterly-us7xm
      @GageEsterly-us7xm 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Hotzendorf is largely to blame for WW1

  • @TheEmolano
    @TheEmolano 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +35

    Fun fact: Brazil and Argentina went to war multiple times over Uruguay before Paraguay decided to piss both of them. After that both countries never fought angain. Solano should at least have waited until the next war before atacking one of the larger countries.

  • @Ccdddttt
    @Ccdddttt 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +132

    90% is crazy but at least he died in battle and not hiding inside a bunker.

    • @fiyahquacker2835
      @fiyahquacker2835 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      That kinda feels like put how good he is from 1 to 1.01

    • @tylerredforge5563
      @tylerredforge5563 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@fiyahquacker2835 truuuu lulllll

    • @PohEnYuDariusBsss
      @PohEnYuDariusBsss 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Then again bunkers didn't really exist at the time

    • @SymphonyZach
      @SymphonyZach วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@PohEnYuDariusBssstrue but caves did and fortresses kinda do the same idea

    • @PohEnYuDariusBsss
      @PohEnYuDariusBsss วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@SymphonyZach fair point

  • @knightingale9833
    @knightingale9833 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +58

    Who was more stupid though, Cadorna or the people who took two whole years to relieve him 🤔

    • @skyripper2837
      @skyripper2837 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Tbf 2 years is a reasonable amount of time to judge someone's ruling. Considering, you probably wouldn't want to deal with putting down rebellions in a middle of war.

    • @dallasjonpaulgrove547
      @dallasjonpaulgrove547 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Cadorna was a General made by political friends in Rome, so he was first and foremost a Roman politician.
      A lot of people wanted him to stay in command just a bit longer in the hopes to prove that they were not incompetent for putting him in the position, much less about proving Cadorna's competency.
      The series of Isonzo was THE prime example of what not to do as a commander, he kept pressing his men into the same area that was getting increasingly difficult to push due to the ever-strengthening defenses.
      Also because Cadorna believed Trench warfare was cowardice he very rarely ever allowed the construction or entrenchments of proper defenses.
      It wasn't until Diaz came into command that the Italian front was finally stabilized and the Italians actually managed to preform so much more efficiently being able to use elastic defensive tactics and proper fortifications. Diaz basically put the life of an Italian soldier to hold more worth than Cadorna ever could.

    • @petergray2712
      @petergray2712 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      The Italian political class was clueless about war. The general they sent to conquer Abyssinia in 1896, Oreste Baratieri, did a good job wearing down the numerically superior Abyssinian forces through a Fabian strategy, but the politicans demanded he fight and win a glorious victory so they would look good to the voters. Instead, he waged the most disastrous battle ever for a European army in Africa, the Battle of Adwa, losing 11,000 out of 17,000 men. Abyssinia would remain free from European colonialism until 1936 as a result.
      And if you think a Fascist would do better than these inept democrats, let's talk about Mussolini's shitshow during WW2.

  • @sankyu3950
    @sankyu3950 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +154

    Atleast they didnt comitted martial law at 3am

    • @cowboys25489
      @cowboys25489 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      Oh give it time the day is still young

    • @gabrielc7861
      @gabrielc7861 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      South korea moment

    • @corporatejones9126
      @corporatejones9126 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I agreed!

    • @brandonhorwath6351
      @brandonhorwath6351 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      At least they knew how to use language properly...

  • @c.w.johnsonjr6374
    @c.w.johnsonjr6374 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    Stalin firing all his best generals right before Hitler invaded Russia deserves a mention.

    • @wildbill6976
      @wildbill6976 5 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      "firing"... that's one way to put it...
      he had 90% of his military leadership killed...

  • @cutlassken6194
    @cutlassken6194 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +76

    Varus! Oh Quinctilius Varus! Give me back my legions!

    • @drankjehierdrankjedaar3822
      @drankjehierdrankjedaar3822 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      Damn varus

    • @lantruongtuan582
      @lantruongtuan582 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      "Armenius? A traitor? I think not"

    • @darth_yoda
      @darth_yoda 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      What they kinda forget to include is the reason WHY Varus trusted Armenius he might have grown up as a hostage but he had through LONG serviced shown him self as a loyal soldier of Rome through many campaigns so when warned by a stranger whom would you trust? The man whom have fought at your side for years and even saved your life a number of times. OR the stranger whom come in and tell you that he is a traitor?

  • @corymorimacori1059
    @corymorimacori1059 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +115

    Theodore Roosevelt: You should be ashamed of your military honor!

    • @VivaLaEdits
      @VivaLaEdits 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      👏

    • @cowboys25489
      @cowboys25489 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      I won't find a better comment today this is it for sure....has never rolling ima go back and rewatch it

    • @wnc1129
      @wnc1129 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      "Everyone know you were back home saying Thank God for Pearl Hahbar!"

    • @ExtantPerson
      @ExtantPerson 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      You comment this on every video, and on this one it fits perfectly. I admire the perseverance.

    • @aaronfield7899
      @aaronfield7899 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Did he really say that?

  • @flamethefirefox9006
    @flamethefirefox9006 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +119

    I'm surprised you didn't include U.S. General George A. Custer, considering the fact that he was a glory seeking egotist.

    • @commonsenseking6386
      @commonsenseking6386 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      Yeah, or Santa Ana. Even Crassus, who just defeated Spartacus but met his end with the Parthian Empire. He was a very wealthy man it is like the owners of Tesla, Facebook, and Microsoft were given an army to do due battle.

    • @AutismTakesOn
      @AutismTakesOn 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      Well, at least Custer was never president and did some good work in the American Civil War before.... That

    • @thomassabino13
      @thomassabino13 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      Yeah you're clearly no history major lol pipe down

    • @IsaiahRichards692
      @IsaiahRichards692 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Francisco Solano Lopez doesn’t belong on this list! He had a smaller, more elite force than Argentina and Brazil and his plan, on paper, was sound. Also, he suffered regular casualties for the time period but is seen as a butcher because Paraguay already had a small population!

    • @flamethefirefox9006
      @flamethefirefox9006 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@thomassabino13 ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

  • @goldosprey
    @goldosprey 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    11:13 I love the fact that even when the Mongols were bloodthirty, they weren't shy to use a pen. Which makes the dumbass emperor killing their messenger even dumber

    • @CM26617
      @CM26617 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Well, if there ever was a real-life case for 'Never kill the messenger' ...

    • @Taistelukalkkuna
      @Taistelukalkkuna วันที่ผ่านมา

      They needed to have excuse to invade. Shah provided it.

  • @knightingale9833
    @knightingale9833 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    13:10 low end estimate indeed, I’ve heard the population of modern day Iran is still lower than it was before Ghengis Khan invaded

    • @Horologist-zu5vq
      @Horologist-zu5vq วันที่ผ่านมา

      Good.

    • @micg7282
      @micg7282 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      It is I think. Not to mention that all the advances in science, medicine and philosophy was lost. They put them back in the Stone Age. And the Middle East never really recovered.

  • @alexyswarjovaara3993
    @alexyswarjovaara3993 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +27

    0:30 ”peabrained prat” 😂

    • @darenmarrison9088
      @darenmarrison9088 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      That tickled me to 😂😂😂😂

  • @Gideon0215
    @Gideon0215 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    Honorable mention-Sir William Elphinstone

  • @BensonCaisip
    @BensonCaisip 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

    To this day, Varus still hasn't given back his 3 Legions.

  • @SwattyBoiPlays
    @SwattyBoiPlays 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    3:41 bro stood up for the torpedo man dawson

    • @blackfox7448
      @blackfox7448 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I mean to be fair, he did order to make the simulation that eventually lead to the accidental firing of a live torpedo so i guess he felt somewhat responsible xD

  • @cloud2389
    @cloud2389 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +36

    “Don’t shoot we’re republicans!”
    Other ships in the Pacific fleet to the “Willie D”

  • @seanmueller7125
    @seanmueller7125 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +27

    Ngl, surprised Custer didn't make it on this list for his idiocy at Little Big Horn 😅

    • @inisipisTV
      @inisipisTV 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      In truth Custer was one the Union army most skilled commanders winning lots of battles. In the war against the Indians, Custer pushed for diplomacy and integration than outright hostility, but was overruled by the War office. In Little Big Horn, Col. Custer was leading the initial patrol group when he got surrounded by Sitting Bulls forces. He was expecting the main US Union forces down the hill to come and releave his trapped forces, as was planned, but the commanding General opt to stay put and sent a smaller group to try to rescue Custer, obviously it failed. Custer then ordered his remaining troops to try to break through from the encirclment and reach the main Army group. Only one survived.

  • @SirAsdf
    @SirAsdf 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    From what I remember from the Sam O'Nella video about the USS Porter, the entire ship's crew was utterly incompetent.

    • @GuyIncognito-111
      @GuyIncognito-111 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      That whole ship was a comedy of errors

  • @time_warriors
    @time_warriors 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    The way history and animation are combined is brilliant, and the storytelling keeps you hooked until the very end. Thank you for making history this exciting! 🏛🔥good job man

  • @lauratomaszewski7942
    @lauratomaszewski7942 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    The thumbnail is truly amazing

  • @Goc4ever
    @Goc4ever 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    I agree Simple History, in war there are heroes and fools and these guys fit the the latter category.

  • @Tripact_of_fire
    @Tripact_of_fire 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

    Immediately when i saw the name of Varus i said oh no. "Quinctilius Varus give me back my legions"

    • @kirgan1000
      @kirgan1000 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      It was a crunching defeat, but if you was in Varus situation, why wouldn't you trust a senior Roman-Germanic auxiliary pathfinder/scout leader, and his men, that served Rome faithful during 15 years time, with a excellent track record.
      Shall you carry out a campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?

    • @Tripact_of_fire
      @Tripact_of_fire 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @kirgan1000 one word "Germanic"

    • @kirgan1000
      @kirgan1000 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@Tripact_of_fire Rome have loots of auxiliary Cohorts, even the Emperor have a Germanic bodyguard.
      So your plane is to carry out the campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?

    • @Tripact_of_fire
      @Tripact_of_fire 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@kirgan1000 i know but i think it was a mistake to do so

  • @lygames_1027
    @lygames_1027 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Uruguay was having a civil war, brazil intervened after rumours of brazillians being targeted by one of the sides, they didnt invade uruguay
    Then Solano invaded brazil and tried to send his troops to uruguay via argentina to help his allied side of the uruguayan civil war

  • @jacobzehner2004
    @jacobzehner2004 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    3:46
    A man unimaginative martinet who was ruthless with his troops and dismissive of his country's political authorities.

  • @rpower1401
    @rpower1401 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    How did a guy who just missed the arming device on one of three torpedoes (and maybe a few other things) end up on a list with these far greater disaster makers? I'm not sure which side is to be insulted by the combination, but somebody is being snubbed!

  • @nematolvajkergetok5104
    @nematolvajkergetok5104 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    18:30 The battle of Caporetto was so terrible that even today, "una Caporetto" is used as an idiom for an unmitigated, terrible disaster in Italian language. Interestingly, Hungarians also have a similar, yet less common idiom, "a Doberdo" to a terrible mess or chaos, referring to another WW1 battle with Italy.

  • @HammerJammer81
    @HammerJammer81 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    LMAO .. The animation for the first "Idiot" ... hahahaha

  • @peterwhite6415
    @peterwhite6415 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +41

    The Dawnson I think can be excused due to it being an acident and atempting to fix his mistake, but hes still an idiot.
    Everyone else on this list? Absolutly pathetic and infuriating, to the point they activly dont seem to think on the posisble consequences.

    • @Scrapyard24c
      @Scrapyard24c วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Well, the William D. Porter is often referred to as one of the most incompetent ships in US Navy history for a reason as the torpedo incident wasn't the only one the crew was responsible for.
      When the Porter first left port to join in the Iowa's escort, the crew failed to raise anchor properly and ended up causing severe damage to the ship next to them.
      Later on, an unsecured depthcharge rolled off the deck and exploded, scaring the other three ships into taking evasive action before the Porter broke radio silence (this was before the torpedo) in order to tell the rest of the fleet what happened.
      The William D. Porter would eventually be partially responsible for its own demise.
      During the Battle of Okinawa, the Porter shot down a Japanese Kamikaze plane and ended up sailing right over the wreck, which then exploded.
      The damage would cause the Porter to sink around 3 hours later.

    • @bkjeong4302
      @bkjeong4302 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@Scrapyard24c Actually, only the torpedo incident and her sinking actually happened; the rest are 1990s fabrications.

  • @isauldron4337
    @isauldron4337 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Genghis khan when his trade offerers get massacred:
    Come on let's try again
    King: kills the diplomat
    Genshin khan: so you have chosen death

  • @junedhussain6252
    @junedhussain6252 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you Simple History for all your hard work. This is one of my favourite videos. As always wars can bring the stupidity out of people even Today. Keep up the good work Simple History.

  • @jokodihaynes419
    @jokodihaynes419 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

    "Fool of a took"-Gadalf the white

    • @TrevDri
      @TrevDri 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thought he was grey at that point.

    • @littleblackcat2273
      @littleblackcat2273 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@TrevDri ... well, everyone's hair changes as they get older.

    • @DOOM_Dwarf
      @DOOM_Dwarf วันที่ผ่านมา

      Guys give Gadalfs hair a break.

    • @TrevDri
      @TrevDri วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@littleblackcat2273 yea but your name usually doesn't thats pretty unique.

  • @JaxPomni-14
    @JaxPomni-14 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    0:26 HIS JAWLINE

  • @PohEnYuDariusBsss
    @PohEnYuDariusBsss 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Many brain cells died in the line of duty while making this video

  • @Cheeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    @Cheeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    The ONE thing I will say about Lopez is that at least he fought to the end and died with his men.

  • @ben9724
    @ben9724 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Should do a video about the most intelligent soldiers. I pretty sure that Canadian soldier Arthur Currie would be there since he studied the battlefields to limit the losses

  • @jagmarc
    @jagmarc 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Paraguay had lost 90% male population. Maybe Hxmas 2023 should be a mention, though the good news is the population of Gaza had actually INCREASED by 2% since 10-7 !

  • @BaxterAndLunala
    @BaxterAndLunala 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    6:07: Is it any wonder why anyone would quote Vaas? He's one of the most iconic video game villains ever, up there with the likes of Senator Armstrong and Handsome Jack.

    • @skrahnha
      @skrahnha 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Bro, the quote is way older than that game. It was even (most likely falsely) attributed to Einstein.

  • @rafaellorentz6592
    @rafaellorentz6592 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Even if some people say the estimate of Paraguayan loss is too much to believe,the minimum estimates of population lost ( in general, not only male) was around 30% , with most of it being male. To put into perspective, is a percentage bigger than the population loss of Germany and the Soviet Union combined in the Second World War. And remember, it was a xix century war. No machine guns, no air strikes. Just muskets, cannons and good old cholera and malaria casualties.

  • @Hathur
    @Hathur 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Correction: Longbows did NOT exist during the Roman Empire. It was a Medieval era invention (about 1,200 years after Publius was even born). The best bow during the Roman Empire was the composite bow... considerably shorter range than the medieval longbow. In fact, Roman Legions rarely used bows at all and Publius would not have had many at all in his ranks, if any. The pilum and javelin were the preferred ranged weapon of Roman Legions in his time.

    • @jffry890
      @jffry890 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Slings outranged bows anyways.

    • @lawrenceofarabia9219
      @lawrenceofarabia9219 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      The Romans had auxiliaries (non-citizen soldiers) who served as archers.

    • @Taistelukalkkuna
      @Taistelukalkkuna วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      If you are talking about Welsh Longbow, maybe yes. But bows have existed thousands of years. See Holmegaard Bow for example. You are correct that bow was not standard weapon in legions, yet.

    • @Hathur
      @Hathur วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@Taistelukalkkuna I referred specifically to the "Longbow". Historically they don't exist until around 633AD (Welsh) and not become more wide spread across some parts of Europe until 1,200 AD. Bows prior to that were short bows, composite bows, self bows, etc - all of which were substantially shorter in range than the earliest Welsh longbow and had drastically less armor penetration due to draw strength.
      Rome had NO longbows as this video stated. They had composite bows at best and archers comprised less than 5% of a typical Legion (Rome was still mostly using Pilums and Javelins for ranged combat as it was built into their tactics and formations. Archers were usually not legion soldiers themselves but mercenaries / peasants etc and were exceedingly uncommon at this point in history for Rome. It would be another 110 years before Rome began utilizing bowmen as a larger part of their army than they do here).
      It's important to differentiate because the Longbow is closer in time to history to Muskets (separated by only 500 to 600 years) vs 2,000+ years for Rome's composite, recurve and self bows at this time in history. The longbow to a Roman would've been almost as far fetched as the musket would've been, considering even their "artillery" mangonels would've struggled to match the range of a longbow.

    • @kenneth9874
      @kenneth9874 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Composite bows outrange longbows

  • @KyleShiflet13666
    @KyleShiflet13666 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    You need to do a solo episode on "The Willie D"

    • @michaelaustin334
      @michaelaustin334 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Cracked already did it. Not a video hillarious.

    • @TheyCallMeDio
      @TheyCallMeDio วันที่ผ่านมา

      Sam O'Nella did a video about it

  • @AirJoe
    @AirJoe 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    7:09 I'd like to imagine he actually ran away like that 😂

  • @Battleship009
    @Battleship009 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    You have the Iowa in her 1980's configuration, not her 1940's configuration.

    • @ModernNCRph
      @ModernNCRph 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      They tried their best to visualize the ship. Fucking ingrate🤓

  • @llucas.M.O
    @llucas.M.O วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Just for the Record. The lance that hurted "El supremo" was The lance of a brazilian soldier called "Chico Diabo" (Chico the Devil).

  • @arthurcardozo5369
    @arthurcardozo5369 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Brazil did not exactly invade Uruguay, Emperor Pedro II supported the Colorados in the civil war and Solano Lopez supported the Blancos. The Colorados won and joined the Triple Alliance due to a debt with Brazil.

  • @iamcondescending
    @iamcondescending 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    4:02 *COUGH* Trudeau *COUGH*

    • @scubasteve3032
      @scubasteve3032 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      And almost all of the top generals in the pentagon.

    • @casualobserver5183
      @casualobserver5183 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@scubasteve3032well they aren’t Nepo babies they are just incompetent bureaucrats

  • @sabiant.lawson2909
    @sabiant.lawson2909 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    6:08 Far Cry 3! Let's go!

  • @Harikejn
    @Harikejn 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Here are some couple of fun facts.
    Firstly, I'll say about Mongols two things. In Europe, Mongol Empire reached the Southern - East Europe, almost to the Danube (taking the Pannonian Plain in Balkan peninsula).
    Second thing is that Mongol Empire have defeated the Ottoman Empire in 15th century.
    Secondly, I'll say about French Empire (about the Napoleon here two things). First thing is, when he was invading Europe, he took the Dalmatia (also in Balkan peninsula).
    Second thing is that when the Napoleon tried to invade Russia, he firstly helped Turks with weapons, so the Turks could start to recapture territories from Serbs in 1813.
    Well also during the WWII when Germany was preparing to invade Yugoslavia in 1941, the Yugoslavian fighter planes and bombers had white cross with red an blue insignia. When the planes were moving Germans thought that those are their planes, no matter how does this color scheme of Yugoslavian planes was different.
    18:07 Nicola Tesla (awesome).
    Next time in Simple History print, put also following people. Those are: Michelle Pupin, Michelle Petrović, and Milutin Milanković.

    • @mingfanzhang4600
      @mingfanzhang4600 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      😊

    • @mattislindehag3065
      @mattislindehag3065 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      In world war one the British stoped using the union jack as the marking on their planes because it looked to similar to the german black and white iron cross. These symbols look nothing alike if you get even a halfway decent look at them... but on a moving aircraft you frequently don't. All you have time to recognize is a vague cross shape then your brain fills in the details.

    • @selimcardak7799
      @selimcardak7799 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Mongol empire had already collapsed by 15th century, no way they can defeat the ottomans
      It’s the timurids who are a Turkic empire who defeated the ottomans

    • @Harikejn
      @Harikejn วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@mattislindehag3065 Here is one fun fact also. Believe it or not, ever reported shooting down of an airplane from ground to air, occurred in Serbia during the WWI. Radoje Raka Ljutovac was the first soldier who shot down the enemy plane.
      It all occurred on 30th of September 1915, when Austria-Hungary empire sent 3 planes to bomb Kragujevac. Army used pistols, machine guns, and rifles to shoot down airplane. Then Radoje Raka Ljutovac decided to use the old Turkish cannon that was in storage, since it was there. He aimed a cannon towards the plane, an fired at it. Then the cannonball or shell hit the plane, and the plane crashed. After that Radoje Raka Ljutovac went to the crash site, and he saw 3 dead pilots there. When he saw them, he saluted to them. After that people were gathering to see what's going on. Then Serbian army told the citizens these things: Noting to see; Show's over; Go back to your daily life activities.
      Also Serbian air force did also bombed the Austria-Hungary in 1915, so they can stop their advance.

    • @lesamar8611
      @lesamar8611 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@selimcardak7799 The Mongols did defeat the Turks on Angora in year 1402. You can see the details about that on internet.

  • @seanlander9321
    @seanlander9321 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    General Dentz, he surrendered Paris to the Germans in 1940, then he surrendered Syria and Lebanon to the Australians in 1941. He was a buffoon.

  • @KingOfStopMotion
    @KingOfStopMotion วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Respect to Segesties for trying to warn the Romans. A lot of Romans could've been saved and 3 Legions could've survived if not for Varros.

  • @Activated_Complex
    @Activated_Complex 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    In this video, we'll be talking about egomaniacal dictators and generals who destroyed entire generations or entire countries. Now let's start things off with Feeble-Minded Seaman Schmuckatelli, who made a mistake that could've killed somebody, but didn't, but could've, but didn't. Yup, definitely belongs on the list.

  • @kellychuang8373
    @kellychuang8373 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Really good video and also parts that are hard to even imagine let alone having to be under the command of these people or having ancestors or relatives who were in these incidents.

  • @shashwatsreenivasan4505
    @shashwatsreenivasan4505 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Oh man sam o nella doing the fdr torpedo one was also funny

  • @Shaosprojects
    @Shaosprojects 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I saw the title of this this video and I immediately thought of Luigi Cadorna
    I wasn’t surprised to see him in this list 😅

  • @Lobos222
    @Lobos222 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Many farts were spent to make this video.

  • @ericlathan6178
    @ericlathan6178 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I really hate that “definition” of insanity, is that what you do when you practice something??

    • @kenneth9874
      @kenneth9874 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Yes, but you don't expect different results.....

  • @ianblake815
    @ianblake815 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Also shout out to L. Ron Hubbard 😆

  • @ll_Chaos_ll
    @ll_Chaos_ll 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I'm not sure if anyone tells you this but man your thumbnails are getting better and better, Makes me laugh everytime a new vid comes out.

  • @HRHooChicken
    @HRHooChicken 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    What about Winston Churchill? His list of blunders is impressive

  • @bogdanilic7346
    @bogdanilic7346 10 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    12:38 What's the source on the population of Nishapoor? 1.2 - 5 million seems way off scale for a medieval city, even the low estimate.

  • @JoseHernandez-Mendez
    @JoseHernandez-Mendez 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    9:45 I'm Glenn Quagmire

  • @Snarlacc
    @Snarlacc 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Always surprised how accurately you portray weapons and armour of the time. Could be just generic, but they are alway modeled after reality. Plus always informative. Superbly done!

  • @dallinn9164
    @dallinn9164 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    "There's a torpedo coming!"
    FDR: "My time has come."

  • @emmaccode
    @emmaccode 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    I am thankful for you, SimpleHistory. Never would've learned that first one if you hadn't told me.

  • @mattiafrancesco
    @mattiafrancesco 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    It’s interesting that in Italy, many squares and streets are still named after Luigi Cadorna. Historians have mixed opinions on his contributions during the war.

    • @Tahitilover1899
      @Tahitilover1899 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Italians are terrible at war so it makes sense they still honor a idiot

  • @rbrice4128
    @rbrice4128 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I love this! Thank You!

  • @yallprettysus
    @yallprettysus 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I always joked on these guys, but I understand now the urge to comment first😂 you just dont have any material to base a joke on but want to seize the opportunity.

  • @a.m.7165
    @a.m.7165 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Pointing your pistol at a torpedo seems desperate but it's better than doing nothing. There is a microscopic chance you might achieve something.

  • @Panzersoldaten
    @Panzersoldaten 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    3:48 yes Cadorna was a huge Baffoon. He literally tried to attack Austria in the worst places. Now if he attacked Tyrol that does bring up harder challenges due to the very poor terrain but Italy was not prepared to attack such a position on the isonzo. Cadorna could’ve possibly just waited for proper siege artillery then do anything but a frontal assault. One of his generals Armando Diaz and his army was the only one to make progress in the isonzo river battles but Diaz was able to bring victory

    • @mirceazaharia2094
      @mirceazaharia2094 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I'm pretty sure I played a similar battle in Battlefield 1. It was a tough fight... Damn you, Cadorna!

    • @GPDermawan
      @GPDermawan 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      More like Italian idiot general

  • @luisemoralesfalcon4716
    @luisemoralesfalcon4716 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    The guy who enlisted after exiting the bar.

  • @AFatT34
    @AFatT34 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I am having hard time watching this video without CC, I am deaf so I rely on it so I can understand whats going on in this video. Can you please enable or add it?

  • @ReaperTheDragon
    @ReaperTheDragon วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    at 09:26 you can see the face of Quinctilius's horse glitch out/swap model for a split second~

  • @lisalennox7835
    @lisalennox7835 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I watched one about WWll in history class today!

  • @joshcompton1693
    @joshcompton1693 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    11:59 “not unreasonable” Genghis Khan literally sent them a diplomat that said give up your sovereignty you king and he’s supposed to do that. You don’t understand what a king is

    • @Rotionu
      @Rotionu 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Killing an ambassador has always been considered one of the hugest international crimes and an act of war declaration. From Genghis's his point of view they had it coming. After the mob murdered Russian ambassador Griboyedov after attacking Rusiian embassy in Tehran, the Shah sent his grandson to Saint Petersburg to avoid another war with Tsar Nicholas I and gifted to the Tsar the one of his most valuable crown jewels - the Shah Diamond.

  • @wnc1129
    @wnc1129 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    You sure know how to title a video for us to click on

  • @txgunguy2766
    @txgunguy2766 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    There's also Colonel Johann Rahl, commander of the Hessian troops at the Battle of Trenton, NJ, on December 26th, 1776.
    Prior to the battle, a Loyalist sent Rahl a note informing him of Washington's impending attack on the Hessians at Trenton. However, Rahl couldn't read it since it was in english, and Rahl REFUSED TO INTERRUPT HIS CARD GAME to find somebody to read it to him. After Colonel Rahl died from mortal wounds relieved in the battle, the note was found still in his pocket.

  • @movingwater7312
    @movingwater7312 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    i like how the candidates fart as they die. south park style.

  • @johnmcvey4243
    @johnmcvey4243 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Im surprised general santa anna isnt on here.

  • @TridentAminations
    @TridentAminations 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    that luigi general is the perfect example of the sentence “so stupid even your enemy concerns”

  • @Grumpyburger0
    @Grumpyburger0 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Nice 👌 you never disappoint us

  • @geoffreylee5199
    @geoffreylee5199 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    There are idiots in the US armed forces from WWII, who were WestPoint or Annapolis guys, who showed cowardice and never punished because their brothers protected them. In North Africa there where generals who stayed away from battles, on D-Day there where captains who dropped amphibious tanks ten miles from shore instead of inside three miles; being the reason why many sank at Normandy. These guys in this clip were idiots, those others were criminals.

  • @brunozeigerts6379
    @brunozeigerts6379 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I have a book about great military blunders. One of the chapters was 'Unfit to command.' It included MacArthur, General Buller(the idiot in charge of the British army at Spion Kop) and others.

  • @CatotheE
    @CatotheE วันที่ผ่านมา

    7:20 To be fair, the line was stabilized by the Italians before British and French soldiers were moved in to the front.

  • @alanfike
    @alanfike 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    3:46 This is fascinating. So the video game Isonzo basically would require a handicap for the Italians to keep it realistic. Luigi Cadorna was Chief of Staff on the Army, meaning he was head of the damn operation! Also, I notice from his Wikipedia page that he was old as heck at the time. WWI was from 1915-1918. Luigi Cadorna was born in 1850.

  • @afrikasmith1049
    @afrikasmith1049 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The first one is a prime example of why you should always be thorough with IQ tests.

  • @CM26617
    @CM26617 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Gods, can you imagine the waiting room these five would be in?
    TRPMN Dawson: "Well, hey. Look like as though I wasn't the worst after all."
    Varrus: "Er, you DID nearly kill your head of state. An accident, granted, but-"
    Muhammed II: "Pot, kettle. I heard Teutorborg went so badly, Varrus, that no Roman Legion bore the numerals 17, 18 or 19 again!"
    F.S. Lopez: *going on his latest Napoleonic diatribe to the neighbouring Cardona*
    GEN. Cardona: "Oh ..." *draws his sidearm* "SHUT!! UUUUP!!"

  • @jeremypope9534
    @jeremypope9534 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Left out Soviet generals in the early years of WWII.

  • @subtlewhatssubtle
    @subtlewhatssubtle 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    "History may have its fair share of heroes, but it has twice as many fools" feels like a line from Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain. Something witty and cutting and more painfully accurate than we want it to be.

  • @korhol2065
    @korhol2065 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Surprised you never said anything about picket, the guy literally moved his camp from one part of the island he was stationed at to another part which was equally exposed

  • @beatingu8347
    @beatingu8347 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    That guy running while they were shooting at him has my guts aching from laughter 😆