JORDAN PETERSON ~ RESENTMENT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มี.ค. 2020
- JORDAN PETERSON ~ RESENTMENT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
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2015 Personality Lecture 04: Heroic & Shamanic Initiations II: Mircea Eliade
• 2015 Personality Lectu...
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Great video. I will share and watch again.
Of coarse, there are limits. I know people who can't have any friends or family because they give the impression they are always on the virge, and go on the war path. And they have frequent enough episodes, that no one will be close to them.
Although, this is not good to binge, it is better to spread out so you can think about what he said, what it means for you and how you can use it
Thank you ☺️
The inside that we should have learned about in school. Thanks for all his help
"It's better for people to respect you, than to like you." - Mom's best advice. Whenever I followed it, I saved myself a lot of grief.
It is better to be feared than to be loved, if you cannot be both. - Niccolo Machiavelli
Both good quotes
At 23, I realized this. 🙏🏼 unstoppable now.
It's better to be feared than loved: Machiavelli
If you let people take advantage of you, no one likes you or respects you.
I hope Dr. Peterson is doing well.
I know right. Can't wait to hear him speak when he gets better.
He's not. He's going through the first few months of benzo withdrawal. He may not be in immmediate danger of dying anymore, but you can be quite certain he is suffering quite a bit, unfortunately.
Me too, he has helped me to change my life for better and I believe, there are still many other important things he can shine the light on.
@@BlurredNotions Ah damn. I hope he pulls through.
Wait what happened?
Been a people pleaser my whole life and boy has EVERYONE taken advantage. I grew tired with this crappy treatment and have cleaned house. It was not painless but lord do I have PEACE in my life!!
Amen brother!
a couple of months ago my company kicked me off of a program. They said I was negative pessimistic and close minded. I actually helped invent the system at my old company 8yrs ago and now it’s funded at hundreds of millions of dollars. When I interviewed at my new company, they didn’t even know what it was, until it received all this money. Anyway. I’m too depressed to function much less fight back. I’d go to another company but it’s a niche field. I think they’ve pushed me out of my career. My two friends on the planet are sick of talking about it. The girl I like stopped seeing me.
How did you overcome your challenges?
@@stevebean1234 That is terrible, friend. I really hope things get better and that you are able to find Peace in your life, you have the strength to do it.
Clean the house😂. Is this a joke
He is giving us what our fathers should have taught us. Thanks Dr. Peterson!
He speaks for Odin - the All Father recalled from Ragnorokr (the Twilight of the idols)- and for Dionyssus - who descended into Hades in search of an older storyteller - and for Pinocchio - who retrieved his father from the deep.
Too right, it took me cognitive behaviour therapy to learn what my parents didn't or knocked out of me. Most arseholes smell low self esteem or weakness a mile away its called bullying a tool practised n most work places. Except here you're hamstrung if not you're a trouble maker.
@RAINE J You need to read more.
Ya but who listens to their dad
@@shittyfattits807 You don't know that. He may read a lot for all you know. It's just that he chooses not to read that crap. I don't and I am well read including the classics like all of Sherlock Holmes, The Count of Monte Cristo, Crime and Punishment, Mobie Dick etc...... But mostly history, war history, politics, UFO's (because it's fun and fascinating and I can't figure out if it's fiction or non fiction). I have read hundreds of books. Just not the ones you think I should know. Sorry, Geoffery Chancer and his Canterbury Tales in old English isn't on my shelf. I have Shakespeare, but it bores me to death. Don't say he needs to read more. That is just another way of saying, "Your stupid". And that's exactly what you meant. I know it's social media. But must everyone be treated with disrespect? I realize that he wasn't the best at it either. WTF?? isn't exactly polite either. But he was saying that he didn't understand his post. He didn't criticize or belittle him for it. Big difference. People want to know and be around those they can respect first, then if they like them. If you show disrespect for another, someone who may have wanted to speak with you will now move on. They are put off by the immature behavior. As they should be. And you will NEVER know they walked away. That could have been the fantastic dream job we all look for. But you were immature and disrespected another and that person decided that she cannot have someone like that on her staff. Then you go back to folding towels at Bed, Bath and Beyond for $8.50/hour.
I wish I had heard this 10 years ago. Speaking as an agreeable person that learned the hard way. Resentment is only your friend if you understand why you feel it, but it is not a good thing if it is your constant companion.
Just make sure you don't channel your resentment on the wrong targets.
Peterson is teaching a class to his students about harnessing negative personality traits for the purpose of usefully integrating them for productive personal power.
A continuous psychotic break of resentment is another topic of discussion.
Everyone has felt some resentment and or anger. Peterson's comments are relatable and constructive to his students.
A greater fear being not to be.
That is the question. Better to feel anger and or resentment than nothing at all.
Anger/resentment feelings reveal everything, including not giving in to enslavement.
Harnessing anger and or resentment, ( purposefully understanding it ) ,
when you are young, naturally inexperienced , a U student, engages a brilliant human capacity to the forefront of self that is generally thought as negative.
There is extreme since uncontrolled aggression can put a person in jail.
Being harmless without some personal control toward constructive purpose is not a good option for personal success.
Don't let resentment consume ,
combine anger energy toward a positive constructive end with all human ability.
With this being a short excerpt, I'm sure he expands further in the full lecture on how exactly to use "resentment" to one's advantage. Much like fear, it shows up to tell you something, usually that change is needed. Just don't let it hang around for very long.
I wish i heard this 20 years ago, but then again, without the pain that comes from not being ''smart'' enough , we would not learn . Pain is the real teacher .
Correct. If you hold resentments, and do nothing about it, the person or thing you resent will likely know nothing about it. Resentment will eat away at you like poison.
I would like this to be told to me 15 years ago
It's awesome to have learned this now
Every time I listen and watch Dr. Jordan my level of gratitude goes skyrocket! ;-) Love
@@michelinegauthier8394 it's true alchemy! Re energising yourself with what I for sure and I think many of us where hiding ourselves from. The new perspective Jordan shared made some dark memories into fuel/gold towards my future of awesome
brb, building time machine
Still, we always have time to do it ! Now .
Jordan Peterson is a blessing to humanity.
Cristian Villavicencio ...lol. That’s deep.🤔
His vision is augemented.
If you've truly earned that profile pic you'll get that reference. ;)
@@chelonianegghead274 You've got 10 seconds to beat it before I add you to the list of NSF casualties.
Do you have a single fact to back that up?
He is.
1:18. 'Harmless?.. You might as well not even be, if that's your goal'.
Damn. But damn right.
Anyone playing the harmless game is really just trying to find power in you having mercy on then. It’s much more effective to gain real power
@@steveflow1332 but surely every individual is more suited to different routes to power. Sure most people will be better off taking affirmative action against resentments, but what if your personality type does not allow you to do that?
@@steveflow1332 Yeah, that sort of behaviour is too indirect, and reminds me of passive-aggressiveness -- It's but a mask of kindness to cover up an ulterior motive, which ironically is the very opposite of true kindness.
Granted, I acknowledge that not everyone "playing harmless" is consciously aware of what they're doing, nor do they necessarily have ill will or malicious intent.
TL;DR -- Better to seek strength directly, instead of asking others to cater towards your weaknesses. Real kindness requires strength in character.
@@johnkad1128 Your question has me partly at odds with Peterson -- He emphasizes a bit too much on the genetic aspect of personality, though for today's societal trends, I understand why he does so. Regardless, a significant contribution of your personality comes from learnt experience.
So you might have to pit yourself against challenging jobs and difficult people throughout life to counter your original, baseline personality. And with time (and literally dozens, 100s of massive failures), you'll begin to learn how and when to be kind, and how and when to take an assertive stand for yourself -- What we call "character development" in fiction, is analogous to practice and experience in reality.
Admittedly, yes, it can be extremely challenging to stand up for yourself if it's not your natural-borne personality. But one thing's for sure: It's going to be even harder for you to change yourself if this static mindset of having a permanent personality has already been hammered into your daily thoughts and habits.
Karma always comes back around. Jordan has recently learned about this in his most recent suffering. The universe balances itself, to try to tip the scales in your favour will always come back and bite you. Natural law. Acting in peace and unconditional love is the only way. And the people who believe that continue to get slaughtered and starved out by the haters. Don’t be a hater. Even if it means death or “being nothing at all”. Love is the only true power, no matter how much the slave race of humanity wants to denie it. “Tyranny , Slavery, or Negotiation, that’s what you’ve got”... walking away and taking back your power or Become a martyr is better. The words Jordan used here are no good. Tyranny is bad, slavery is bad, and negotiating (compromising) with either is... bad. The only other option is, retract your consent and walk away. The universe will balance the rest.
5:54 "You're smart, you're healthy, you're good looking.. except for that weird thing you have around your head"
what a legend
When I was younger I was subcontractor. I worked for several contractor but one of them was a real ass. Gave me no respect and always talked down to everyone and made you beg for your pay. I resented that man so bad that I set out to never have to deal with him again. I focused on getting my shit together. After years of effort I was successful and didn't need to bid his work anymore. Finally every time he ask me for a bid I told him I was too busy. He called me one day and ask why I wouldn't give him a bid on his projects. I told him the exact truth, he had been demeaning and slow to pay and I didn't need to deal with an ass like that. The resentment I had for this man made me take action to improve my life to the point that I didn't need to deal with people him. Like Jordan says , resentment can be a good motivating thing.
well done you.what was his reaction out of interest ? 'fessed to any of it? doubt it !
I never once worked at a job where there wasn’t a bully or someone trying to control that wasn’t the boss and all the crew went along with the dominant person . I found the solution , I have worked for myself since 1996 and don’t have to put up with that junk any longer .
I can’t wait to get that bad ass position of being my own boss!!!☺️☺️☺️☺️
I'm not an extravert, but I've used my skill of staying calm while developing the courage to push back when the bully comes knocking. Now they treat me with respect while the others remain are miserable. It's scary at first, but I hated myself every evening I let the bully take advantage of me. Now, I love myself for standing up!
@@jeepgurl1379 Good for you ! I have to admit that I was intimidated by the bully , because I wasn’t raised to stand up for myself from my parents . So getting out was my only solution I thought at the time .I hope your courage will inspire others to stand up for themselves the way you did , especially for the people that can’t get out of horrible job situations . Bravo !!
I cant wait for his return to public life. Praying for his health and peace. The man is a treasure.
What exactly happened to him? I heard it was something psychological, but I wasn't sure on the details.
@@bigpete7865 He was on rehab because of drug issues, amphetamins and anxiolytics if I remember correctly, but that was a few months ago already I'm curious about the latest news about him.
Tbh too much wisdom to count already added to public domain so people don't need more from him as much as they need to act on what they already got from him.
He's back... Guess who's back JP's back go tell a friend, guess who's back guess who's back guess who's back dahnanana neh neh neh
New book coming soon :)
"If something makes you resentful, don't do it", wow
Advice everyone tells my grandfather, but he refuses to listen to. He's always gotta be the blue-collar hero that gets taken advantage of by "lesser men". All those years of hard work and nothing to show for it but a cloud of regret and resentment.
Can you imagine having Jordan Peterson as your teacher, how badass would that be
If Jordan Peterson were my professor, I'd be early to every class so I could sit in the front row!
It would be this many badass: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
@@ppcgnamda 😎👍🏻
If you are listening to him and taking his advice, is he not your teacher?
President Peterson ?
Don't mean to be overly gender sensitive, but I love the female presence in the comment section. JP is just a voice of reason. He is not against women, neither is he pro men, he only stands for the truth like anyone else has a right to do so.
I am female and I absolutely adore Jordan Peterson! I do not know why any reasonable female would not appreciate his wisdom. He is brilliant!
I am female and wished I’d have found him way earlier. He is absolutely passionate and driven to get what he knows or wants to say out there. I’m grateful! It’s helped me through some tough times. I am enjoying his book as well, 12 Rules of Life.
Yea but haters try to manipulate his words and make videos or news to gain views!
What a great observation. And then to have the forethought to post it. I had noticed a large amount of females in the comments too. But I didn't connect with how significant it actually was. You would make a good detective.
It's funny, people say Jordan only speaks to men, but I see more women in the comments than I see on most other TH-cam videos
I changed my phone number that I’ve had for 10 years. Very liberating.
How so?
.... That's a good idea
Naw u gotta be strong enough to not even answer I just blocked my mom, nice lady, but she refuse to see anyone’s perspective and gets irate
Indi Genius
Bucko if you blocked her it also means that you're not _strong enough to not even answer_ because you're just avoiding.
That statement is not well thought through.
I wanna point out your (perhaps unintended) hypocrisy here.
Ignoring and confronting are literally opposite.
Did you know that if you have a phone number it actually belongs to you. Legally. Not the phone company. I have switched numbers a couple times and refused to turn in an old number. They don't like it, but they can't do anything about it. But I realize your old number was nothing but trouble, I get it.
I love Jordan's lecture style and am sad that he has recently experienced a great physical challenge involving his complex brain. His intelligence remains. I hope he will regain health and be able to continue to give us these great considerations. My psychology degree is 30 years old now and a surprise setback caused me to drop out of grad school, so these mini lectures are so very satisfying.
@Assy McGee do you feel better with this negative sarcastic comment?
@@ConradProteus his name is Assy McGee so I'm gonna say yes
"Recently experienced a great physical challenge involving his complex brain"? Is that the long form of "he's a junkie"?
Tessangela Beck waiwaiwait... something happened to him?
you just wanted to shoehorn in the degree there didnt you
_"Nothing on Earth consumes a man more quickly than a passion of resentment."_
*-Friedrich "MC Zarathustra" Nietzsche*
re sent anger
"What the hell do you know"
jordan to a 19 year old
Most 19 year olds need to hear this more often these days
@@robmausser except if they mention the words of jordan peterson
😂😂😂😂😂
And? What the hell, exactly, does a 19 year old know vs. a 20, 21, 22, 30, 40, 50, 60, 90- year old?
@@jamespfitz The thing is though, how much you know isn't just defined by your age. Yes, age is a significant factor, but it isn't the only factor. How you use our life experiences and the experiences you throw yourself into will also affect how much you know.
During a negotiation, when you are accurate and in the right , you have got to be willing to look the person across the table and stare into the soul
is this breaking bad dinner table gif reference
You have to apply the resentment appropriately. If your boss upsets you at work and you can't stand up for yourself and address the problem directly do not go home and take it out on your wife instead. Jordan has done a great service offering his wisdom online for everyone to benefit from but some just hear what they want that suits their narrative.
i know right my dad used to that a lot. He would be mad in the dinner table for something that we didn't do. What do you think is the right aproach
This I think is one of his best.
I totally agree to agree with ya :P
Yes. So glade you wrote that!
I just took a note.
Had a problem with female tyrant the other day. She flailed like a hydra ( many problems) because I made a simply a request, BUT, I sorta worked out the request on the spot so the request was convoluted.
She attacked on so many fronts it was astounding. She was yelling and going full blown drama mode while claiming I was horrible and the only person she yells out which is pure gas lighting.
Go for it people. Don’t become a slave. Now I’m not in rebellen persay but resisting becoming subjugated. In a since some rebellen, however I babe gave her my authority nor my consent to anything demeaning.
If you following at this point let it be a learning for the curious and or right people. I’m talking about my insanely abusive mother and I am 45 year old man however she behaves like a mean woman to a questionable man because of her mental health problems which are many and which also are physically murderous (she’s tried to off 3 family members minimally) and mentally devastating. Needless to say I’ve had a lot to repair and come to grips with.
I don’t yell. I don’t manipulate. I typically don’t see her for safety reasons ect.
My request as we are in contact is simple: I don’t want to hear about the family I have been separated from due to her propaganda and their rote participation within.
Step by step I was held as the scapegoat and am simply the youngest by 7 years in my family with 2 sisters and brother, all 1/2’s.
She went ballistic. I did not say she was the cause of it all directly, but I alluded to that because thing have consequences.
If you alienate people/ family members for you momentary winning and attention... it’s strains everyone and sometimes those people just want to be in her good graces and affections.
I resist that cycle. I don’t shit on my family members... that breaks the cycle. She can’t enjoy herself with me shitting on someone she has a temporary resentment with... I don’t join in. In essence she can’t do her out of control gossip drug with me.
So I was attempting to negotiate with her because it’s hurtful to hear how “amazing everybody is” when she has so well poisoned the well.
Essentially no one in the family communicates but her with all... over all.
The family orbits 2 wealthy members essentially and they can do no wrong, ever... and all their good deeds highlighted while others good deeds strongly, even passionately ignored.
In essence one cannot build around her. She thwarts power development in others if that power again is building and two small enough for her to ignore and or dismantle... then she’ll sing the praises of one of these two other members over all.
To have a hang around / authentic relationship with that is not practical by any means.
Even the fact that she yells is proof of how bad the person she yells at is. She is unquestionably unfailing at all generally speaking.
This behavior was gone, but it suddenly reappeared. I got a health problem. It’s being handle and receding so I am doing well.
However, that lack of self power and need for compassion was a trigger for her true tyrant nature.
She just morphed in presence of my weakness. And , I grew up weak... we all do essentially. We’re human beings... we don’t run after 2 hours of being born...
So for those that may have other relationships where things are strange and not fair along with no value in this “unfairness” take hold of yourselves and feel okay about being alone or without that connection as you want it to be.
My mother will not change anything to accommodate me. The near mention of it is for her to feel victimized and then attack without restraint. Even listening to me triggers her to “need to defend” her self, or to feel resentful that she isn’t speaking. She not a listener nor values it but prescribes it to others like a salve that heals all things.
She will teach others to be her slave if they let them and she does it automatically... and hers a big truth... if you do that and she feels 100% comfortable with you... she will then attack as she works her selves into a rage by herself during her monologue.
All things she does she blames others for, but if your powerful... she will be a little lamb defiantly jumping at most... with soft fur and cute looks and facial expressions.
And yes it is the same person. Shoooocking. She’s now 77 and has no change only less active over all. Still potent as always. The family is jaded and basically lost / separated due to her behaviors and their compliance’s.
The 3 members she has tried to kill, me, one of my sisters, my father... do not engage with her except me.
I have come to terms with it even thought the final mark was a few days ago.
These people blame you for their behavior with preeminence and having grown up like this it takes a few days to work out I did nothing wrong from a civil male and healthy perspective of wanting to be connected yet mature.
In her book I needed beating and would not take the lesson of her profound greatness... how she would make a truly evil queen and torcher people if she so could to make them suffer as she so saw fit and then bequeathed from her presence.. hearing the flailing lives moan out as her heals clicked through the halls ever fainter into the distance of cold castle 🏰 cobblestones...
If you think I’m kidding you have never met a woman who emotionally struts her abusive victories as if she’s the biggest dick in town.
The ego on that woman is a monster. Had she been the same and yet young right now she would #metoo countless men as hunting sport and income generation.
She’s sued so many stores for “falling down”. Not paid workers in her home for “reasons”... had people beat (via vile lies m) for not flirting with her but flirting with other women making her feel outcast... I’ve been made to be a false witness 1X and attempted false witness several times which I refused under duress and abuses.
Jordan B Peterson’s video here helps allot. It’s like a non stop propaganda campaign I’ve had to work myself out of...
Becoming okay with being lonely is the master medicine making all other things do able.
Also becoming okay with success building and enjoying is another step I am working on.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Hypnosis is making this very okay / permissible now. And yes, after years of therapy and teachers ect I am self applying / auto didactically.
Here’s my advice if you are hear reading and would like a tool that is very empowering:
To say I am okay. It is okay. This is permissible. I am safe.
When to use the tool. During times of stress and ptsd / abreactions to normal stimuli.
Aka you made a huge sale? Got a hot date? Feel great taking a calm walk? Enjoy being waited on like you special somewhere? Are giving love and affections..?
As you start to freak out... just say “this is okay, I am okay, this is permissible”...
By doing it at the moment of triggering you heal instantaneously some level of better plus you get to have that moment which Is essential to building the rest of your life.
You cannot reject amazing moments and then expect your life to work.
You must apply the tool that everything’s OK and that this moment is OK and you are allowed this successor victory your happiness or love you must say I am OK it is OK when the PTSD or triggering occurs.
All your other self help is valuable and useful but success can elude most without in the spot love leveraging off those who were beat down for showing potential early on... this applies to you ❤️🇺🇸. Freedom & Success. Very fast.
Thanks for reading. I feel better now:-) I hope it helps what I wrote as that was my co-intention. To share myself but also to be a help to those that are starving or hungry for it...
@Hana Ayo Alemayehu I suppose you have a better solution with today's societal problems? If so I'd like to hear it.
Wanderers Refuge there’s always the ones who just see problems in everything, they are so draining.
@@Beatrizvillacorta I agree, and so are people that only look away.
I think this speaks well to the importance of "tending to one's own garden".
Got rolled over at work tonite, and boy am I resentful - and this pops into my inbox.
Charlie Mike what are you gonna do to change that mate? :)
@@alexandrerebmann203 get a new job 😂
Step 1: Notice resentment.
Step 2: Analyze. Where's the true problem, with you or them?
Step 3: Act. Accept reasonable responsibility, and resist tyranny.
Just had a work incident a few days ago worthy of resentment. Same boat here
Toughen up and stand up fir yourself , have dialogue let him know your not having what ever hes serving .
I've never been harmless. Sick of people trying to convince me it's a good thing. Fun to hear this.
It's about being honorable, not being weak; i.e. physically incapable of causing harm. I never liked that idea, either.
@Green House It's the don't be so aggressive crap I hear from the women in my life.
@Green House Don't need your advice on the matter. I don't listen to any of it from any woman. You sound just like them. Blah blah blah. I'm just sick of hearing it. I don't change my actions based on what they say nor based on what you say.
Thing I'm sick of is this feminist BS that has infiltrated the society at every level. People thinking you need their opinions and running their mouths. It's a big nag convention.
When a man decides on what is right and is going to take action nothing will stop him. He will be seen as an asshole and it's still worth it.
@Green House Will do random sock account.
@@IrelandVonVicious Ikr, my past female friend complained about me being aggressive .She left and frankly I'm glad.I get to be myself and do what I know is right and not listen to that kinda shit.
"Fix the things in your realm of power, and what will happen is that your realm of power will grow"
Wow... reminds me of what Jesus said in the Parable of the Talents:
"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' "
Matthew 25:21
I moved from NY to Florida 2 months ago.... still trying to sell my house. My cousin's husband texts me 2 weeks ago...."what are you going to do with that piano?" ...Not....hey..hows Florida? ..how you doing down there? How's it going? ... nope..the piano. He plays guitar...NOT piano. Kind of hints...he'll gladly take it. He used to be a piano mover when he was 22...now he's 62. Sooo.. I used to bench 300 lbs..cant do it NOW. It's a 45 yr old Yamaha baby grand..good condition. I paid $9k for it used. He Said..most new owners of houses get rid of the piano....yeah...junky pianos.usually..not a nice one. I texted him...it will help me to sell house to a music lover...to a stranger I'd charge $5k...but to him $3k. Which is Very fair. Never got a text response or spoke since 2 weeks ago. He expected just to go over the house and pick it up for nothing! I spent $9,000 on It!! I don't owe him ANYTHING! Man..i really RESENT his bullshit! What..give it to him for nothing.... so he can sell it and make money? I'm Not an idiot! Ridiculous! I would never think I'm entitled to grab somebody's piano for nothing. Am I Right guys?
Yes you are right. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. That man had a cheek expecting you to just give him your piano for nothing. You did absolutely the right thing.
100% right you are! Don’t feel bad about it. You did the right thing.
That sounds like my mother and my middle-aged younger sister who have always been are the most selfish, narcissistic, sociopaths on the planet.
You're polite for giving explanations, if he didn't get the hint with the first one, i would have said: The answer is NO. And hung up.
You should have it appraised at its current value, which may be more than $9,000.because of inflation. It may be worth $12,000. or more. If you don't owe your cousin's husband anything, you should have told him to pay the full price. The relatives whom you give discounts should only be very young people or very impoverished people or people whom you owe, and even then you need to consider your own financial situation. The fact that he doesn't even play piano and is too old to use it for a career as a piano teacher or concert pianist if he did play because he's retirement age shows that it wouldn't even be a way to help a family member become self-sufficient as it would for a young piano player. You are right to be disgusted with that self-centered guy!!!
"Start local, fix things in the realm of your power."
I love that 🖤 once you gain control of yourself only then can you begin to control what's around you.
Damn, I wish I could run into this man when I was in college.
what a society we have when the mere gesture of being pleasant and agreeable is stepped on by most people - so everyone is out for theyselves
"If that's all you see, than you're blinded, and it'll warp you."
- wow, that really struck me
Man he just totally ripped that dude's argument apart in the end lol.
Not to mention whatever he was wearing on his head 😂
Callum Roberts it was a turban
ColdPizza doesn’t he always? Lol
Example in practice, yeah.
i couldn't hear that students question. can you paraphrase it please?
I experienced resentment, and I can assure you, this goes straight to the point. Put it into practice, It will lead you to a better life. It's scary, but trust me, it's worth the pain.
Do u have any advice for me then? My husband thinks he is so “good” because he is that harmless, agreeable, taken advantage of guy.
I have so many resentments against him over 21 years for not “stepping up to the plate” as many therapists have told him to do. He won’t watch these videos!!! Too busy watching Ancient Aliens... I’m 57 and he’s 50... I don’t wanna break up my family (kids 15 & 18) but he doesn’t get it!!!! I am so beyond frustrated!!
Thank you!!
@@MissYvonneX I'm an unwise 20 year old kid. My advise would probably not be something very valuable. The best thing I can do is tell you my experience. My older brother is a very charismatic and smart man. He is the most disagreeable person I have ever met. He kept taking advantage of me constantly and made it seem like it was just a tiny thing. I'm hate confrontation, so I kept all that frustration to myself. That turned into resentment. The last year I decided that I was gonna start making something about it. I tried distancing myself, ignoring him and being very unsympathetic towards him. But that didn't work. I needed a definitive talk, but my anxiety grew so much that it scared me to talk about all of this with him. There was one week where I went to preach as missionary to a far away town. There I had a chance to meditate, pray , talk and connect with myself. That week I decided I had to change all of this or else I would loose at life, I had to fight the dragon. We had a family meeting after I came back home and there I revealed my feelings, and chaos slowly unleashed. After a very akward 7 minutes of screaming my brother understood that I would murder him if things didn't change. I ran away to the streets and just kept running for a few minutes. After I stopped I hugged the first dude I saw and cried my eyes out, but after all of that I was at peace. The resentment was gone. Our relationship is now a decent thing. Everything began to change because we both knew that we had to do something about it, because I spoke the truth.
I don't know nearly enough about your situation, about your feelings, about what kind of person your husband really is, so it's also hard to give any good advice. Maybe you will feel identified with my story, if so just know that speaking the truth with the person I hated worked wonders for me.
Sorry for my bad english and for not answering sooner, I discovered your response by pure luck.
Take care.
I love that Jordan Peterson exists, I'm irritated it took me so long to discover him, I'm saddened that he was going through such enormous anguish that he turned to drugs for help, but I'm hoping that he pulls through and can continue sharing his insights with the world. We lost Hitch far too soon. I would hate to lose JP too soon as well.
If only our vehement desire could make a wish come true! What a world we would live in.
I remember the first day I actually said NO to someone. I was walked on for years, I was afraid, but finally I no longer wanted to be taken for granted. Once I got my voice it was like freedom and I no longer carried it in my heart. Thank you Jordan.
How are you doing with boundaries now?
“Fix the things that are within your realm of power.” The world and social media especially would be a much better place with this advice.
I was scared of the idea of making enemies, so I used to be very agreeable. Though, now that im becoming a young adult, hearing this has reinforced my will to speak out and not care if my actions result in a dialogue
I'm 30 and I'm pretty harmless. And its about time change becausr I'm sick of narcissists taking advantagr of my empathic nature
I consider this one of the most important talks for college age folks!
This man is heaven-sent 🥰
That’s so true. I had to leave my job because I was getting forced to do things that were not night. Being treated like a slave wasn’t working for me I had to stand up and say no.
Me too, GOOD FOR YOU! Takes real strength to do it in my opinion.
Takes courage to push back, get you in a lot of trouble sometimes. But it DOES pay off in the long run.
Every day he makes me learn a little thing new...
I’ve reached a point where there’s really no way of doing anything properly anymore. I’m extremely avoidant of conflict in any way, (physical) pain is one of my biggest fears all the time. I usually try to keep everyone who is in a dominating or superior position to me calm and often apologize in advance for probably screwing things up, just so I can tell myself that at least no one has a reason to be mad at me. I used to think that I’m actually doing the right thing, but it has gotten to a point where I’m pretty sick of myself because I have no character or backbone at all. I try to genuinely care about people, but often it feels like I’m just “nice” in order to make anger towards me seem uncalled for. I even dropped out of getting my drivers license because I couldn’t handle being on the road, in a situation where everyone is always on edge or annoyed or in a hurry. Being harmless doesn’t make you a good person, it makes you useless and pathetic. But at some point there’s no turning back.
No man... Nothing is permanent (exceptions). You can turn back because the brain is malleable.
You avoid conflict like hell and fear physical pain. The next step is to go towards conflict and tolerance of pain. Try each day to have more backbone. Set boundaries for yourself. Forget yourself, your ego, identity and "needs". Do what you must do, not what you want. Become a genuinely nice person, a genuinely good person. Work on your persona. Work on your shadow. You can absolutely do it, because many people have and are as much if not in a worse position than you.
This may sound like silly advice, but search out and find a Reputable Brazilian Jiujitsu school near you. It will change your life. Allowing you to expose yourself to “violence” in a controlled and safe manner. Start slowly. Explain to your coaches your situation and work your way into hard rolling. Eventually the controlled chaos will become the norm for you. That will carry over to your day to day life. Big problems will become small problems. You will realize how much more control you have over things. Not saying it is the end all be all solution but i truly believe it will help. If you have any questions feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll help in any way I can.
It is never too late...try being assertive in tiny ways...you will like it...cuz you will feel you are finally standing up...but it is small things so you start small and work from there!! Keep trying...keep your head up homie!!💪👊✌
I think you can still develop the skill of putting up for yourself. I won't repeat what others have said here, so, why not try videogames? Like, competitive play. It might sound silly, but when I was younger I played only coop and couldn't handle player vs player matches hahahaha. So get online, play some Fortnite or League of Legends, learn to deal with people in a relatively fun environment and then take a next step into the real world
I hear ya man. I am reminded of one of my favorite, yet simple lines from a hip hop song. " Change..... Change is the only thing that stays the same. " No matter how deep down a hole you've dug yourself, you can always climb out. Hell I'm a bit there now myself. Consider though not looking straight up out of the hole, at the seemingly insurmountable climb, but like we would drive up a mountain, with a circular road spirialing upwards. This way the grade is never too much at once, yet you can get to the top this way. This metaphor can relate to many things, like how Jordan Peterson talks about, start by cleaning your room. Or heck the rabbit and tortoise childhood story. You don't have to quit your job and change all your friends in one fell swoop, and anyways if you don't address the internal, you will be bound to repeat, wether at a different job, or city, or country. This life is a long journey, sometimes it really sucks, and sometimes its really great. But play the long game, it's not just today. I heard a story about a woman who decided to go back to school and get her nursing degree to help people....... She was 93 years old..... so ya, its never too late. This is all coming from a procrastinator myself ;) Peace in, it can get better. oh and the universe has a funny way of proving us right, so please just consider change being possible. Cheers !
Great advice as ever from JP. Getting the balance right is hard. you can become a slave by trying not to be a tyrant and you can become a tyrant trying not to be a slave.
I love that saying. Thank you
True! I've been on both sides of the spectrum way too often, can never seem to find a balance.
Balance is the essence of wisdom.
Words of wisdom.
I envy those few troubled souls, that once had the incredible privilege to sit with this man, and have the gift of 50 minutes of his undivided attention, once a week. I pray for him every single day.
One of the things I’m grateful for today and in general is the access to Dr. Peterson’s lectures. Let’s pause for a sec and appreciate how lucky we are to have it.
God speed his recovery:)
Avoid 95% of people if you can afford to and you'll be fine ! Talking from experience.
Make it 99.9% imho
This is sounds sad. I think your view is spoiled by negative experiences
@@teunlll hes right, most people are dense, plenty of highly educated, narcissistic fools out there also.
But what if you cant , working with a lot of arseholes who are miserable coz of were there at in a job you have to go too , you need to stand up for yourself if someone attempts to have a go for some reason , remember the only people who like you are the people in your house once you leave nobody thinks your cute or funny or smart and even some of the people in your house is still on the fence , so make an effort and dont take shit !!
Man Manman can confirm
"You can't complain to society as à whole." This is one way of saying that nothing exists _in general_ . And it's true. We don't encounter persons in general, we encounter them in particular. Ever hear anyone say 'I love humanity, it's people I can't stand'?
Although I never heard anyone say 'I love humanity, it's people I can't stand', I do think that there are good reasons to believe that. Humanity as a whole achieved a lot of great things, even if it is because of the efforts of particular people. Past humanity is the sole reason why I am able to live the way I do. Meanwhile, I do know that there are very hateful people that could possibly state that they generally don't stand people. Combining the two would allow for the statement to be sayed in a serious manner.
This reminds me of the quote that says the more I love mankind the more I can't stand the individual.
@@triffnix "Humanity as a whole" is purely a mental construct. It doesn't exist as something other than that.That's a clue as to why JBP told the guy at 4:15 that his level of analysis is wrong. He didn't explain what a proper level of analysis is, but instead exhorts his students to engage particular individuals as a means to combat resentment.
If you look to current humanity, with its complex layers of technological accoutrements with gratitude as the ground of your existance then good for you; not a bad attitude to have except you have no particular one to thank. Like JBP, I believe it's better to engage a particular existing _one_ than a mental concept. Ultimately, the ground of all existence is the the existing one: אהיה אשר אהיה
@@apyruite8493 yes, it is purely a mental construct, but a really practical one. I agree that it's better to thank singular existing beings, but I just think it's impractical to find out about every thinker, inventor and so on that was relevant for making my current life the way it is and be thankful to each of these individuals. Instead, I prefer being thankful for a mental construct that encompasses all of them.
I disagree that there is an existing one being the ground of all existence. Reason: if the ground of all existence itself is something that exists, it either can't be the ground of *all* existence or it can't exist. I prefer the second option.
@@triffnix Then to _be thankful_ reduces thankfulness to a contingent temporary psychological or emotional state, no? The same could then be said for being resentful, depressed etc. I think there's a problem with this 'level of analysis' as Peterson might say. We can be thankful for food, clothing, shelter, or even our existence, but who are we thankful to?
JBP's friend Jonathan Pageau explores this perennial question in his podcasts. This clip includes gratitude and JBP in the context of the existing one who transcends existence as we typically understand existence. th-cam.com/video/x1OrutCMtkM/w-d-xo.html
1:46 that was the most satisfying sip that I've ever watched in my entire life
This is like a talk from your dad that never happened but you definitely need
Truth
no no no no i dont believe i was ever firmly told that by signifcnat others but getting resentful if you dont is a steep price to pay for not nipping it in the bud - good old human relations nice but is it worth it - next time i get the oh please and would you do the same for me ha ha ha ha
4:43 - "Fix the things that are within your realm of power".
In other words - Tidy your room!
He's been consistent for years - I love JBP.
An organized room is an easy prey, though.
Thank you Jordan Peterson, I feel gratitude to have you as a father figure
😂
He’s mine too and I’m a 38 year old mom.
‘Every virtue has its’ vice.’
if it didn't ,it would be vice versa.
I love and miss this man! Praying for good health
Could listen to this guy forever
"If that's all you see, you're blinded...it'll warp you"
never heard of this guy but he is B R I L L I A N T! so thrilled to discover this.
There's tons on TH-cam of Dr. Peterson's. His output is truly incredible. Hours and hours of brilliance for free! Have fun! 🙂
Better late than never.👍👍
you are in for a helluva treat!
Young people out there. Listen to this man please.
God Bless this beautiful human.
“Every virtue has its vice.” Example, I’m super agreeable (so-called virtue) and I’m super angry (vice). Losing my temper feels like the ultimate indulgence. I spent my whole life trying to be nice. 40 years later, and I hate pretty much everything.
Someone asks something of me - if it's simple and I'm glad to help, fine. If my immediate reaction is "I don't really want to do that", I always say, "Let me think about it". Give yourself some time and then it becomes a conscious decision if you decide to say "Yes", and you will never have to feel resentful.
This, truly is what I needed to hear. What I’ve been through, and what I work on, plus, how others reach reach out to me, as if I have a magical wound!! It’s pretty interesting how we struggle through our own issues, yet still reach out to others. We will always have a breaking pint, why?? It’s our brains, hearts and the courage to move on, especially when many that teach out to others have had traumatic ordeals in our own personal lives.
Beautiful how he explains it!
Happy that i directly had this in puberty plus the same to other people who get treated unfairly.
He's such an amazing person :')
Jordan Peterson is a great man, a mentor I would never had!
I needed this. I've spent my whole life as Mr. Nice Guy.
PRAYING for you Dr. Peterson💝 With LOVE
The title is open to misinterpretation, I think.
And when he says it in the vid I think he qualifies it somewhat.
To put it more succinctly he should say, the prospect of resentment should be a red flag
I’ve heard it said that harbouring resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die
I don’t think the great man would disagree with that.
Agreed and that's where his point to act upon it is the deeper part of the analogy, because the resentment by itself is poison but if you can actually augment it to yourself in a number of ways means that you can develop a stronger form of immunity to it or it can be an addition to your arsenal that's an incredibly powerful tool, but only as the jumping off point not the underlying basis of the actions you take.
Thank you for this comment. Yes, JP has pointed out before that resentment and bitterness will, in essence, ultimately drive a person into the ground and kill them.
" the prospect of resentment should be a red flag "
Well put !
I have applied this same insight to understanding 21st C. Feminism.
The angry feminist is actually revealing resentment at being dependent on men.
Dependent on men to invent and build virtually everything.
The current phase of the technological revolution is the so called ' digital revolution '.
I recently asked a friend to name a single female Digital Revolutionary.
After a long pause - she attacked me and my family. Go figure!
She carries a super computer in the palm of her hand, routinely flies from city to city and owns a private car. She values these technologies just as her mother did, but unlike her mother resents the men who provide all of it.
I carried around resentment for my "best friend" for 5 years before cutting him out for good. I knew when he became unbearable for me, but I stuck around. Big mistake!
Yes me too , kept thing “ that’s just how she is “. But that was the point she Chose to be that way , I ended it dead , still missed her friendship sometimes , but the pressure was off
Oh man, I did this for nearly a decade. I had a sudden realization when I was younger, but doubted myself way too much to do anything. Luckily, it's all better now.
Please be well Dr. Peterson.
This piece of information alone is just gold. Thank you Dr Peterson!
this is heavy, solid gold. several life changing lessons in six minutes. stand up for yourself and negotiate firmly to escape an oppressive life, check your resentment, focus on things you can control, and practice gratitude.
*_Jordan "You might as well not even be" Peterson_*
This man, he words a lot of things I have to say so nicely.
Thanks for posting we are thinking about Jordon hope the road of recovery is quick amen.
He's right, I don't want to be here when I'm thirty.
Wow, that was direct to the shell! Thanks again for your great teaching and deep advice..... :)
LOVE YOUR LESSONS, COME BACK. STAY SAFE.!
Dr Peterson is bang on here. I was having trouble with HR at work after returning from ill mental health, was objective and listened to the opinions of those around me, and stood up to their bullshit. Now I'm leaving for a better job and couldn't be happier. So glad that I didn't let them push me out the door or subdue me. Stand up for yourself, you are worth it!
I feel so much gratitude that I could hear this video.
God Bless Dr. Peterson
This is the most profound lecture! I will listen to do daily until I can do it effortlessly. Thank you.
The title is misleading. Jordan says in the context of this post resentment is a problem.
Marriet Visser Yeah that confusing title got me to click too... so
Twice have I heard people say to me that agreeableness is not a virtue. And it's like *finally, some support.* Man, it's so important to have such mentors like Jordan Peterson who vocalize what you have been feeling for whole of your life.
Such a great man ... the world desperately needs more like him
The kinds of videos I like before even watching.
Hi
theballistiks Hi there!
Made my day! Thank you for uploading this video.
Please never stop uploading these, they are saving my life emotionally.
Emotions aren't always bad. It's what makes us human.
"Use" those emotions "properly". That's what he's saying.
"Use" those resentment to make things better.
Don't just let your emotions and hate get the better and take over you.
Control those emotions and use them to your benefit.
Tyranny
Slavery
Negotiation
“That’s what you’ve got”
God bless you Dr. Peterson.
“Fix the things that are within your realm of power.”
I think "harmless" agreeable people are just better at controlling their inner demon, Instead of letting it loose. I've been harmless my whole life but now things changed, once I sense resentment or "being the butt of the joke of people that I've been helpful to, many many times" I tend to "RELEASE THE KAREN" inside of me, and BOY I enjoy it.
The amount of roast you'll do is amazing, plus you gain respect.
I did this, and boy people respect you
💚
[Notes]
Resentment is your friend because it works like a termometer, it indicates something has to change. Either:
- Your attitude towards reasonable demands
Or
- Your attitude towards unreasonable demands
In the first case, you should develop a greater sense of responsibility (are you just whining, dwelling in self-pity, etc?) And then understand that resentment itself is in this case unreasonable.
In the second case, you should learn to say no and develop a greater sense of comfort with being more disagreeable than you usually are. If people are demanding things that make you feel resentful and those things are unreasonable, resentment is telling you to improve your boundaries. Don't be afraid to have some people dislike you if it means your own peace of mind and self-respect.
What if you feel resentful about society? Then it means your concern is at a level where you have no power. So you should focus on what you *can* do, on what you have power over and make that change. Doing this your power increases.
Praying for him.
It's horrifying and amazing to see your whole life being summarised by an old man, wise old man
Dammit, if you think HE'S old, what would you make of me! So nice to be young and see things from the other end of the lens... I hope you have a long, fulfilled life, my friend.
It's good to be nice but always take care of yourself first because everyone else is thinking of themselves. If you're expecting a lot from people that is what will make you resentful in the end because you will be very disappointed and left in a bad position. This is what none of your friends are saying: It's everyone for themselves.
Do friends even exist? I used to want new friends so bad but I'm seeing that the only person who is loyal to me is my bf.
Every man for himself......This is why America is turning into the world's richest shithole
@@bxvdc yes friends do exist. Maybe you're just the unlucky ones
One of his best lectures ever- plan to watch again and share with others- the way Jordan explained to the student the importance of starting with positive changes on yourself first was priceless-
A WALKING ENCYCLOPAEDIA...DR JP IS PURE GENIUS
I've been feeling quite resentful lately, *quick TH-cam search*,
Jordan Peterson : Resentment is your best friend.
Well okay!