After the defeat of the usurper, Sir Charles of the Last Slam returns to be being a Player of fortune. Thinking the court is safe for now, he leaves to set his aim on the Dunk Order 13, but this was a folly. Leaving the Original King for the bench, Sir Charles never realize the true danger. On the bed Donkey Kong laid, battling his mortality-- and coming to terms with the Darkness that has buried him due to the workings of Dunk Order 13. On the bench of death, Donkey Kong sees what he has forgotten-- the power of the Nintendo [his birthright as a Kong-- his Destiny]. With the renewed Power of the Licenses , Donkey recovers what was lost by the crossover. Just months after Sir Charles leaves the court, he is called back by the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach's worst fear has come alive-- Donkey Kong has returned to his original ways [thinking the crossover would slowly drain his power and render him dorsal-- it nearly worked if it wasn't for Doom-Kong stopping the Meme' union [the only true way to erase the Kong identity]), and the Tropical Politics has frozen to harsh cold logic. Donkey rises his people to independents with congas of Freedom. Sir Charles mission is to stop the Donkey Kong-- the first and true member of the DK Crew, upon his shoulders are the dreams of a nation; the hopes of a people. No Longer will they oppressed by the Banana Birds; no longer will they be kept in captivity-- excluded from 3rd party deals. HE IS DONKEY KONG-- THE NAME OF HOUSES, THE BARREL OF RICHES; HE MADE THE INDUSTRY. All that is Game, all that is SLAM has taken from Kong Country and now it is time to take it back. It is time to MAKE KONG COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN!. Sir Charles stands there and realize "is his lighting spin tech and tempest drives to the hoop enough to stop the forgotten power of The Star Jam?" No man knows whether Kong is right or wrong, but we all know that there is no middle; no compromise. It has to Jam this way.
KONGSTRONG!!!! I used to think my dong was a tool for slamming. Not used for style. Not used for grace. But now, now I'm not so sure. And besides... This isn't *MY* dong.
Mixing two songs together and making it sound good is no small feat. But to mix _three_ songs together, using one as the battlefield for the other two...that's a whole other level of art right there.
Armsdong: Well if it isn't saucy Shaq? Just a little too late, as usual. Shaqden: Armsdong? Impressive little ball you've got there. But your game plan ends here. Armsdong: (laughs) Idiot. You're not ending our dong, you're expanding it. Checked the score lately? Jorden: Pfft. Kranky (via codec): Jorden! Air Force One is turning back to the States! Jorden: What? How'd they know?! Kranky (via codec): Someone posted photos of what's happening on the base. The whole world is up in arms! Jorden: Show me! Jorden: How did they...? The story leaked early...? Then King K. Rool's game plan is ruined. Kranky (via codec): The hell it is! Look what they're saying! The story just went live and already they are calling for expulsion! Jorden: But the league president was saved…? Armsdong: And yet Kong blood was spilled. Jorden: By Kongs! Besides, a few dozen players is tragic, but nothing to start a major game over. Armsdong: That's just the spark, son. The excuse we've been waiting for. Donkey Kong Kountry's wanted this game for years. The NBA -- they knew pickup games were good for the economy. Four years later their legacy lingers on... Shaqden: The memes... Armsdong: They left us their great raps! Space jam! Soulja boy! The DK rap! Welcome songs for those with no dongs -- without creativity of their own. Give yourself up to the meme. No need to better yourself -- you're a Kong! You're number one! Then the only value left is banana value -- the economy. So we'll do whatever it takes to keep it drumming along. Even pickup games. Especially pickup games. Jorden: Bullshit. Armsdong: The NBA planted the seed -- we don't need them around to filter and foster their memes any longer. We're spreading them just fine ourselves. Every Kong man, woman and child... We're all major league players now! We just need something to jump start the economy out of this funk. This recession it's been stuck in since the fall of NBA. Jorden: And the marketing costs? Wasting billions is going to help the league? Armsdong: Free agents, merchandise manufacturers... Job creators, Shaq! All those workers spending bananas, buying merch... Trust me, a little pickup game can work wonders. Jorden: So grease the gears with some innocent gatorade, is that it? Armsdong: Relax, Shaq. It's a "war on imposters." We're not out to foul basketball players. Soccer players. TH-cam commenters. People badgering for songs to be slammed. [Jorden’s astonished a little.] Armsdong: Of course that would have to include you. Wouldn't want any courtside reports complicating the message. [He throws a cigar away and climbs into the metal kong cabin. Jorden prepares for a game.] [Jorden chops off Metal Kong's legs, grabs a multi-ton monster by the knife and throws it over his head. Then he rips off one of the knives and cuts off the Metal Gear with it.] Armsdong: About time we ended this... and you're going out with a bang! [Armsdong comes out of a smoke-covered cabin.] Armsdong: Slippery little bastard. I don't have time for this. [He lines up at the free-throw line and starts screaming intensely.] Jorden: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! [Wires burst out of Metal Kong Dongcelsus' legs, charging Armsdong with gatorade. He finishes with a final yell, a shockwave erupting while Dongcelsus crashes downwards. Jorden stumbles for a moment, and once the dust settles, Armsdong is shown with bulging musculature under his jersey not visible previously.] Armsdong: (adjusting his tie) Let's go! Jorden: The hell are you thinking? [Armsdong sprints out and checks Jorden, then grabs his head and starts squeezing.] Armsdong: Played college ball, ya know. Jorden: At some cushy Ivy League school! [Armsdong headbutts him, rips off Jorden's jersey and punches him in the face. Jorden gets back up, narrowly avoiding a punch from Armsdong. Jorden attempts to check him, but he blocks the moves with his forearms. Armsdong grabs Shaqden, who dodges his strikes for a moment before being grabbed by the neck.] Armsdong: Try University of Kong. Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the DK Navy. I'm not one of those beltway creampies. I could break King K. Rool in two… with my bare hands! [He throws Jorden straight up in the air, who screams before being caught and free-thrown into the side of Dongcelsus' cabin.] Armsdong: Don't HUH with this point guard! Jorden: What the hell are you...? Armsdong: Why don't you stick around and find out? [The first round begins with the strongest b-baller in the world.] [fight continues for a short time.] [Armsdong catches Shaqden's ball with his bare hand.] Jorden: What? Armsdong: Nice ball… [He pops it and goes for a punch to the jaw, which Jorden evades. The cyborg laughs in amusement at how he finally managed to avoid a hit to his chin without it causing enough friction to heat it up, before being promptly punched by Armsdong and sliding to the other side of Dongcelsus' platform on his chin. Jorden stands up, his metal jaw burning red-hot from the friction. After spending a few seconds recovering, he rushes towards Armsdong, throwing his popped ball at him. The Balllorado player easily deflects it to the side, throwing a few missed strikes, before Jorden catches one punch before it could hit him.] Jorden: Typical ape... big dong, but no balls. Armsdong: What? Jorden: “Jump-start the economy"? What a load of bullshit! All you care about is lining your own pockets. That, and your team ranking. You've got no principles, just like all the rest. If Donkey Kong Kountry's gone to shit, you're just another maggot crawling in the pile. Armsdong: All right, the truth then. You're right about one thing... I do need capital. And merch. Wanna know why?.. I have a dream. Jorden: What...? Armsdong: That one day every kong in this country will control their OWN destiny! A country of the truly free, slammit! [Armsdong resumes fighting Shaqden.] A country of slamma, not banana, ruled by guns, not coconuts! [Armsdong grapples Jorden, rendering the cyborg mostly helpless.] Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where coconuts and creampies are back where they belong: in the hands of the kongs! [Armsdong and Jorden headbutt each other, but neither is harmed.] Where every ape is free to slam - to jam - for himself! [Armsdong beats Jorden to punctuate every statement.] Fuck all these limp-dick redditors and chicken-shit discord users. Fuck this 24/7 Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit. Fuck "DK pride." Fuck the media! Fuck all of it! Donkey Kong Kountry is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it -- we need to pull it off the vine. Wipe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes a new Donkey Kong Kountry will be born. Returned, but not tropically frozen! The minor leagues will be purged and the dongest will jam -- free to play ball as they see fit, they'll make Donkey Kong Kountry great again! Jorden: What the hell are you talking about…? Armsdong: You still don't get it. I'm using basketball as a business to get elected... so I can end basketball as a business! In my new Donkey Kong Kountry, people will slam and jam all for what they BELIEVE! Not for contracts. Not for bananas! Not for what they're told is right. Every ape will be free to play on his own team! [Armsdong repeatedly stomps Jorden, pausing his barrage to light a cigar.] Armsdong: So... what do you think? Jorden: How the hell did you get first-draft pick... Armsdong: Well, I don't write my own game-plans. [Armsdong removes his foot from Shaqden's chest, looking out to the desert.] You should try playing for what you believe in sometime, Shaq. Not for a company, or a team, or for anyone else.
Jorden: Maybe I was wrong about you... Armsdong: (happily surprised) Am I finally getting through? [He lifts Jorden off the floor and dusts him off.] Armsdong: I'll rid this Kountry of pointless games, Shaq. Jorden: I was wrong. You're not cheating -- [He shakes Armsdong's hand, and eventually hugs him.] Jorden: ...you're bat-shit insane! [Armsdong is surprised once again. Jorden throws him on the floor. He gets up shortly after, angrily punching the platform.] Armsdong: Making the mother of all coconut cream pies here, Jordan. Can't fret over every coconut shell. Jorden: Not when you’re “purging the minor leagues," right? What do you know about “the minor leagues”? You weren't drafted onto a poor team. You've never lost a game. You don't know what it's like to slam and jam and foul just to survive... Armsdong: But you did survive! Through hard work, not talent, following your own set of rules! With your own two hands you took back your court! Jorden: And now I'll take yours. [Second game with the senator begins.] [Shaqden has 0.1% health left. He charges his fist with hard work that beats talent when talent failed to work hard, and hits Armsdong in the stomach. The senator doesn't even move. Jorden pummels the senator at extremely high speed, but Armsdong barely reacts, merely grinning the whole time.] Jorden: (enraged) Why won’t you die?! [Armsdong laughs and tears off his jersey. The camera focuses to his upper chest, where tendril-like scars spread out from above his heart to his entire body. The skin from his chest to his right arm turns brown, like coconut shells.] Armsdong: Bananomachines, son. They expand in response to dong trauma. [He punches Dongcelsus' platform, cracking part of it.] You can't hurt me, Shaq. [Jorden hits the senator in the jaw, and his skin turns brown at the impact site. Armsdong laughs.] Armsdong: What did I just say? [Armsdong punches Jorden into the air, and he falls flat. The senator walks over to Shaqden, adjusting his tie.] Armsdong: Time to end this. [Armsdong sits on Jorden, pinning him down. Diddy's sword lying next to Rambi the Rhino beeps and the LED on his logo turns green. Armsdong's increasingly fast slams can be heard in the distance.] Armsdong: (while pummeling Jorden extremely quickly) Die! Die! [Armsdong draws his fist back.] Die, you place of shit! [He strikes it with such force that the Metal Kong they were standing on explodes, massive pieces of rubble flying in the air and eventually crashing into the court. An area with relatively little rubble but blasted and cracked rocks is formed as a makeshift court. As Jorden lies on the ground, Armsdong walks towards him, cracking his knuckles.] Armsdong: All right. I think we’re about done here. Rambi the Rhino: Jorden. Jorden: Rambi... Rambi the Rhino: Begin playback: Diddy’s voice: “Two years I've been working towards this, and on the last day baldie has me doubting the whole thing. We'll leave it up to fate then, shall we Rambi? A one-on-one, may the best man win.” Jorden: Diddy?! Diddy’s voice: “I beat him, and that's that. Back to our regularly scheduled international incident. But if he beats me... if I lose here... The lock on my ball will disable after a couple hours… What happens after that... is up to you, Rambi.” Armsdong: (scoff) Even dead, that guy is a pain in my ass. (speaking to Rambi the Rhino) So… you think that little ball can save your teammate? Well, go ahead, then. But make no mistake, Fido. When I'm finished with him, you're next. Rambi the Rhino: I was not designed to fear termination. However, directive zero one is to ensure all data acquired is preserved and passed along. To expire here would violate that directive. Armsdong: That's a good boy. Rambi the Rhino: However, Jorden came to my aid... I have learned from him. When Diddy Kong fell, post-game analysis was inconclusive... but that has changed. I have established new rules, now. Created my own directives. Armsdong: You little fuck! [Wolf throws the Banana Slamma to Jorden as Armsdong jumps towards him, He almost catches it, but reacts too slowly. The cyborg b-baller catches the blade.] Armsdong: Damn mutt! [Armsdong kicks Rambi the Rhino into the rubble] Jorden: Armsdong! I said my b-ball was a tool of justice... Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now... now I'm not so sure. And besides... This isn't my ball. Armsdong: (discarding his tie) Come on! Jorden: OK. Let's ball. [The final game with the senator begins!] [Armsdong roars in fury, and bolts towards Shaqden, chokeslamming him. Jorden gets out of his grasp.] Armsdong: I'll blow you away! [Jorden injures Armsdong's arms as the senator tries to attack him. Armsdong runs at Jorden, but is impaled through the abdomen. Armsdong is staggered for a few seconds before shouting again, attempting to force Jorden downwards. Jorden headbutts the weakened senator, and slashes apart the skin over his heart before jamming his hand into Armsdong's chest.] Jorden: We’re done here. Armsdong: (coughing up blood) Well done, Shaq... Jorden: Your dream dies with you. [Jorden moves to rip his heart out, but Armsdong grabs him by the shoulder.] Armsdong: Maybe not... You've guaranteed the status quo will go on, for a while longer at least… Basketball… will continue as an institution. As an industry. Men will play for reasons they don't understand, teams they don't believe in… [He spits blood, groaning in pain.] Armsdong: But at least I'll leave a worthy successor... You, Shaq. You carve your own path, use whatever methods you see fit... You don't let legal bullshit get in the way. And if it costs a few points? So be it... [Jorden rips out Armsdong's still-beating banana heart, potassium arteries attached. He crushes it in his hand.] Armsdong: Deep inside we're... playing for the same team... you... and I…
@@SaintDicc If you can believe it, I've got the entire script transcribed and edited for the other characters, in the event that you decide to finish the series. Probably failed two of my finals because I spent the time I should've spent studying on editting the script for this.
I absolutely love how it's mostly sped up space jam vs slow/normal paced DK rap, representing Raiden's light-speed punches vs Armstrong's "immovable object" nanomachine-powered body. Never thought i'd actually see any form of imagery in a meme mashup, but here we are, what a banger
I've heard a lot of Dk rap mix's, and honestly I think this one's the best by far. The way it mixes together with space jam AND It has to be this way is way too good.
"Who's to judge, the DONKEY KONG, when he FIRES IN SPURTS, I think we'll both agree" This is high level art and I will spend the rest of my life slowly understanding the true meaning of these lyrics.
Lyrics: So he's finally here... (finally here...) Performing for you! (performing for you) If you know the words (know the words) You can join in too! Welcome to the Space Jam (Space Jam) Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam Alright (x4) Ok! DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK HUH DONKEY KONG DONKEY KONG DONKEY KONG DONKEY KONG Everybody get up it's time to slam now We got a real jam goin' down Welcome to the Space Jam (Space Jam) Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam Alright (x4) DONKEY KONG Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine We're gonna take it into overtime Welcome to the Space Jam Here's your chance, do your dance At the Space Jam Alright! Slamming here, I realize DK HAS NO GRACE, HE HAS A FUNNY FACE (Alright!) For who's to judge the DONKEY KONG When HE FIRES IN SPURTS I think we'll both agree That WALNUTS breeds PEANUTS But in the end it has to Jam this way DONKEY KONG IS HERE COME ON CRANKY, TAKE IT TO THE Jam! Come on and slam And welcome to the Jam Come on and slam If you wanna Jam HE'S BIGGER, FASTER, AND STRONGER TOO HE'S THE FIRST MEMBER OF THE DK CREW C'mon it's time to get hyped say "Hoop there it is" C'mon all the fellas say "Hoop there it is" (Can barely understand the next part but this is my best guess) HE'LL MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN HE PLAYS HIS TUNE BUT KREMLINGS BEWARE 'Cause it's time to Slam Jam CAN PICK UP A BOULDER WITH RELATIVE EASE MAKES CRUSHING YOU A BREEZE SO LISTEN UP DUDE THI-THIS KONG IN THE MOOD AND THIS TIME HE'S AFTER YOU (yeh) Yet slamming across this wasted land I feel new Jam will be born beneath the blood-stained Slam (x16) DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK Beneath the blood-stained Slam (x16) (DK Continues in the background) W-W-W-WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH (Hey you, watcha gonna do in the background) WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH W-W-W-WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH Slam Jam (x2) HUH DK DK also rip the heart I had before I finished editing
For the part you were unsure about, I believe it's "HE MAKES YOU SMILE WHEN HE BLAZES THROUGH (technically he says 'PLAYS HIS TUNE' but I feel yours is thematically better) BUT KREMLINGS BEWARE 'Cause it's time to Slam Jam!"
Honestly, this genuinely restores some of my faith for the future of humanity. It's just dumb and wacky but it's genuinely so beautiful that it almost brings me to tears. The fact that people can be this talented is just great and the fact that things like this exist is honestly one of the few reasons that existence as a whole has a purpose. It's just- I can't even describe it. It's beautfiul.
So it wasn't just me that got a bit of happy almost-tears over this! Honestly, every now and then when watching videos like these I get a feeling that's hard to describe, of "humanity went from subsistence farming to this - that's so awesome". Want to make music/videos/essays/stories/games/etc? You can make them for the cost of free (if you have a computer - it's like an artistic multitool). More if you don't feel like piracy. We live in the time with the most... agency, I'd say. People can make things with this "all in one" device. Want to distribute it? Put it online. Don't need a publisher, a cassette/CD/VHS writer, or anything. And we can find out nearly anything using the Internet. Want to see the images we have of other planets? Read about how a rocket works? See a tree of life based off of the DNA of organisms? Have fun! Don't even have to go to a library anymore. We live in an imperfect world, I'd never deny that, but looking for the good is really useful. Stuff like this really underscores to me how much power people have now. It seems stupid, but it makes me so happy.
I was not in a good head space when I wrote this comment. I don't know what force(s) hrought this video to me in my time of need but it is one of my most cherished memories.
2:21 The absolute PEAK of all rap, no other rap will ever compare. I was not ready for the complete actual masterpiece I was about to experience when I clicked on this.
"Well if it isn't Saucy Jordan. Just a little too late, the game's nearly over. As usual..." "Kongstrong?! Impressive little dong you've got there. But your game ends here." *laughs* "Idiot. You're not ending this game, you're extending it. Checked the score lately?" Candy: "Raidunk! Come in! Michael Jordan's plane is turning around!" "What? How'd they know?" Candy: "Someone posted photos of the court, they forgot to take a picture of the giant Kremling robot though. The whole league is up in arms!" "Show me!' *checks TH-cam* "How did they...? The bracket leaked early...? Then Funky's plan is ruined." Candy: "The HUH it is! Look what they're saying! The story just went live and already they're calling for a rematch!" "But... Jordan still won." "And yet Kong ankles were still broken." "By Kongs! Besides, a few dozen players is tragic, but nothing to start a major rivalry over!" "That's just the spark, son. The excuse we've been waiting for. The Isle's wanted this rivalry for years. The Kremlings -- they knew rivals were good for the players. Four years later their legacy lingers on..." "The memes..." "They left us their great "K"s! Kalm! Kool! Kollected! Welcome maxims for these with no faith -- without guiding principles of their own. Give yourself up to the team. No need to better yourself -- you're a Kong! You're number one! Then the only value left is ball value -- the score. So we'll do whatever it takes to keep it humming along. Even rivals. Especially rivals. The Kremlings planted the seed -- we don't need them around to filter and foster their memes any longer. We're spreading them just fine ourselves. Every Kong man, woman and child... We're all sons of the Ballers now! We just need something to jump start the team out of this funk. This recession it's been stuck in since the fall King K Rool." "And the other team? Giving them motivation will better your chances?" "Sponsors, commercial deals, money makers Jackboard! Trust me, a little rivalry can work wonders." "So grease the gear with some Secret Stuff huh?" "Relax, Jackboard. It's a "friendly rivalry." We're not out to beat casual players. Graduates. Pro teams. Professionals. Of course that would have to include you. Wouldn't want any eyewitness reports complicating the message." *Kongstrong enters the Mobile Gear Fortress* "Fear the wrath of DK Isle!" That took a while, might have been too much work for a one time thing. Unless it isn't, I'd be more than happy to see Red Sun or Collective Consciousness slammed, but I know it's never a guarantee. Walk your own path, slam your own jams.
"But slamming across this barren wasted land I feel new jam will be born beneath the blood stained slam" Somebody call RichaadEB and Tre Watson, we need a cover of this
I watched this expecting your run of the mill crappy shitpost, but... damn. This has no right being this good, but it is, and I'm absolutely here for it.
holy shit I expected this to be good but I never expected it to be this good excellent work this is going right on top of my playlist even above the Kong revolving
Coming back to this monstrosity after equipping myself with some actual knowledge of MGSRR has made the lore and experience so much better. 10/10, would fire in spurts again.
I had no idea this existed. I'm so happy I'm alive to witness this. A LOT of terrible shit has happened, but creations like this still make me feel like this is the best timeline. Thank you Based God!
After the defeat of the usurper, Sir Charles of the Last Slam returns to be being a Player of fortune. Thinking the court is safe for now, he leaves to set his aim on the Dunk Order 13, but this was a folly. Leaving the Original King for the bench, Sir Charles never realize the true danger. On the bed Donkey Kong laid, battling his mortality-- and coming to terms with the Darkness that has buried him due to the workings of Dunk Order 13. On the bench of death, Donkey Kong sees what he has forgotten-- the power of the Nintendo [his birthright as a Kong-- his Destiny]. With the renewed Power of the Licenses , Donkey recovers what was lost by the crossover.
Just months after Sir Charles leaves the court, he is called back by the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach's worst fear has come alive-- Donkey Kong has returned to his original ways [thinking the crossover would slowly drain his power and render him dorsal-- it nearly worked if it wasn't for Doom-Kong stopping the Meme' union [the only true way to erase the Kong identity]), and the Tropical Politics has frozen to harsh cold logic. Donkey rises his people to independents with congas of Freedom.
Sir Charles mission is to stop the Donkey Kong-- the first and true member of the DK Crew, upon his shoulders are the dreams of a nation; the hopes of a people. No Longer will they oppressed by the Banana Birds; no longer will they be kept in captivity-- excluded from 3rd party deals. HE IS DONKEY KONG-- THE NAME OF HOUSES, THE BARREL OF RICHES; HE MADE THE INDUSTRY. All that is Game, all that is SLAM has taken from Kong Country and now it is time to take it back. It is time to MAKE KONG COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN!.
Sir Charles stands there and realize "is his lighting spin tech and tempest drives to the hoop enough to stop the forgotten power of The Star Jam?"
No man knows whether Kong is right or wrong, but we all know that there is no middle; no compromise.
It has to Jam this way.
This...
this is freakin' amazing.
This is a fucking master piece 10/10 must read
Incomprehensible, thank you
@@kwalityhunter Sir Charles: I Was Wrong... You're Not Greedy. You're Not The Kong I'm Know.....
YOU'RE BATSHIT INSANE!!!!!!!😠
@@kwalityhunter Mario & Luigi. Pauline. Raiden. Smash & Pokémon Characters: YOU'RE BATSHIT INSANE!!!!!
We’re making the mother of all Coconut Guns here, Diddy! Can’t fret over every Walnut!
He gets it. Get this man a job.
On my team
Not when you're the leader of the bunch, right?
@@kitsinthewebs222
you've never been poor. Had to slam and jam every day to survive!
@@redbasher636 BUT YOU DID SLAM!! By following your own set of coconuts! You took back your slam!
@@blaze4698 And now I'm gonna SLAM Yours.
I love how audibly you can hear Space Jam and the DK Rap fighting for the spotlight. It just adds to the effect of the original song
paralleling Chuck's on-screen struggle vs DK, truly poetic
Lol good analysis
E
@@tripplordofinconvenience9953 literally 1982
@@uncroppedsoop actually 1981
"How the hell did you become a meme?"
"Well, I don't write my own raps."
Yes!
You should try rapping for what you believe in Barkley
Also, potassium machines son!
“Potassium, Son. The Dong hardens in response to slamming trauma!”
-Senator Armsdong
Armdong?
Expand will happen. Survival depends on what side you're on, son.
Armsdong slamms his penith in the car door, confirmed.
No wait, he is right
"You cant hurt me, Shaq!"
That "SO HE'S FINALLY HERE" is the most powerful song opening I think I've ever heard.
PREFORMING FOR YOU
@@Fail-harold IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS
@@redbasher636 YOU CAN JOIN IN TOO
PUT YA HANDS TOGETHA
@@Choom-li Welcome to the Space Jam! (Space Jam!)
WALNUTS BREED PEANUTS
This forbidden knowledge I shall spread, like JAM on toast.
I love that metaphor and shall try to use it more in the future.
But in the end it has to be this way
''I will never eat PEANUTS again''
-Bladewolf
Remember, it is when *he fires in spurts* that *walnuts* breeds *peanuts* . Spread the Jam in Spurts.
*in raiden voice* What?
KONGSTRONG!!!!
I used to think my dong was a tool for slamming.
Not used for style. Not used for grace. But now, now I'm not so sure. And besides...
This isn't *MY* dong.
The question trickles down to
Wether or not you have a funny face.
Give yourself a long hard look and answer that.
@VampyricScythe is it any good?
I can only wonder... whose dong IS it?
Pardon??
Who’s dong is it then?
"Why won't you die!?"
"Bananas, son. Potassium helps your body in various ways."
And it hardens your defence system in response to consumption
Bananomachines, Son
Didn’t know this was also an educational video lol
That "DK! DK! DK! DK!" is the hypest shit ever.
No sht Sherlock
You're so fing right
And that's when I 3 stock my friend
I think this gives One-winged Space Kong a run for its money.
NO MORE PEOPLE BETTER LIKE THIS COMMENT! It's the funni number, it's perfect, it's perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
@@tacocats2244 rip
@@tacocats2244 nuuuuu :(
@@someoneusedtobeknown2645 I am
@@takinames disappointed
“Violence breeds violence” describes the plot of “Donkey Kong” and “Donkey Kong Jr.”, oddly enough.
Hmmm...
New life will be born on these blood-stained platforms.
@@crazyrabbits Barrels breed barrels....
@@angrygarbanzo5436 - Checked Kremkroc Industries lately?
_Breads?_
Mixing two songs together and making it sound good is no small feat. But to mix _three_ songs together, using one as the battlefield for the other two...that's a whole other level of art right there.
Armsdong: Well if it isn't saucy Shaq? Just a little too late, as usual.
Shaqden: Armsdong? Impressive little ball you've got there. But your game plan ends here.
Armsdong: (laughs) Idiot. You're not ending our dong, you're expanding it. Checked the score lately?
Jorden: Pfft.
Kranky (via codec): Jorden! Air Force One is turning back to the States!
Jorden: What? How'd they know?!
Kranky (via codec): Someone posted photos of what's happening on the base. The whole world is up in arms!
Jorden: Show me!
Jorden: How did they...? The story leaked early...? Then King K. Rool's game plan is ruined.
Kranky (via codec): The hell it is! Look what they're saying! The story just went live and already they are calling for expulsion!
Jorden: But the league president was saved…?
Armsdong: And yet Kong blood was spilled.
Jorden: By Kongs! Besides, a few dozen players is tragic, but nothing to start a major game over.
Armsdong: That's just the spark, son. The excuse we've been waiting for. Donkey Kong Kountry's wanted this game for years. The NBA -- they knew pickup games were good for the economy. Four years later their legacy lingers on...
Shaqden: The memes...
Armsdong: They left us their great raps! Space jam! Soulja boy! The DK rap! Welcome songs for those with no dongs -- without creativity of their own. Give yourself up to the meme. No need to better yourself -- you're a Kong! You're number one! Then the only value left is banana value -- the economy. So we'll do whatever it takes to keep it drumming along. Even pickup games. Especially pickup games.
Jorden: Bullshit.
Armsdong: The NBA planted the seed -- we don't need them around to filter and foster their memes any longer. We're spreading them just fine ourselves. Every Kong man, woman and child... We're all major league players now! We just need something to jump start the economy out of this funk. This recession it's been stuck in since the fall of NBA.
Jorden: And the marketing costs? Wasting billions is going to help the league?
Armsdong: Free agents, merchandise manufacturers... Job creators, Shaq! All those workers spending bananas, buying merch... Trust me, a little pickup game can work wonders.
Jorden: So grease the gears with some innocent gatorade, is that it?
Armsdong: Relax, Shaq. It's a "war on imposters." We're not out to foul basketball players. Soccer players. TH-cam commenters. People badgering for songs to be slammed.
[Jorden’s astonished a little.]
Armsdong: Of course that would have to include you. Wouldn't want any courtside reports complicating the message.
[He throws a cigar away and climbs into the metal kong cabin. Jorden prepares for a game.]
[Jorden chops off Metal Kong's legs, grabs a multi-ton monster by the knife and throws it over his head. Then he rips off one of the knives and cuts off the Metal Gear with it.]
Armsdong: About time we ended this... and you're going out with a bang!
[Armsdong comes out of a smoke-covered cabin.]
Armsdong: Slippery little bastard. I don't have time for this.
[He lines up at the free-throw line and starts screaming intensely.]
Jorden: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
[Wires burst out of Metal Kong Dongcelsus' legs, charging Armsdong with gatorade. He finishes with a final yell, a shockwave erupting while Dongcelsus crashes downwards. Jorden stumbles for a moment, and once the dust settles, Armsdong is shown with bulging musculature under his jersey not visible previously.]
Armsdong: (adjusting his tie) Let's go!
Jorden: The hell are you thinking?
[Armsdong sprints out and checks Jorden, then grabs his head and starts squeezing.]
Armsdong: Played college ball, ya know.
Jorden: At some cushy Ivy League school!
[Armsdong headbutts him, rips off Jorden's jersey and punches him in the face. Jorden gets back up, narrowly avoiding a punch from Armsdong. Jorden attempts to check him, but he blocks the moves with his forearms. Armsdong grabs Shaqden, who dodges his strikes for a moment before being grabbed by the neck.]
Armsdong: Try University of Kong. Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the DK Navy. I'm not one of those beltway creampies. I could break King K. Rool in two… with my bare hands!
[He throws Jorden straight up in the air, who screams before being caught and free-thrown into the side of Dongcelsus' cabin.]
Armsdong: Don't HUH with this point guard!
Jorden: What the hell are you...?
Armsdong: Why don't you stick around and find out?
[The first round begins with the strongest b-baller in the world.]
[fight continues for a short time.]
[Armsdong catches Shaqden's ball with his bare hand.]
Jorden: What?
Armsdong: Nice ball…
[He pops it and goes for a punch to the jaw, which Jorden evades. The cyborg laughs in amusement at how he finally managed to avoid a hit to his chin without it causing enough friction to heat it up, before being promptly punched by Armsdong and sliding to the other side of Dongcelsus' platform on his chin. Jorden stands up, his metal jaw burning red-hot from the friction. After spending a few seconds recovering, he rushes towards Armsdong, throwing his popped ball at him. The Balllorado player easily deflects it to the side, throwing a few missed strikes, before Jorden catches one punch before it could hit him.]
Jorden: Typical ape... big dong, but no balls.
Armsdong: What?
Jorden: “Jump-start the economy"? What a load of bullshit! All you care about is lining your own pockets. That, and your team ranking. You've got no principles, just like all the rest. If Donkey Kong Kountry's gone to shit, you're just another maggot crawling in the pile.
Armsdong: All right, the truth then. You're right about one thing... I do need capital. And merch. Wanna know why?.. I have a dream.
Jorden: What...?
Armsdong: That one day every kong in this country will control their OWN destiny! A country of the truly free, slammit! [Armsdong resumes fighting Shaqden.] A country of slamma, not banana, ruled by guns, not coconuts! [Armsdong grapples Jorden, rendering the cyborg mostly helpless.] Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where coconuts and creampies are back where they belong: in the hands of the kongs! [Armsdong and Jorden headbutt each other, but neither is harmed.] Where every ape is free to slam - to jam - for himself! [Armsdong beats Jorden to punctuate every statement.] Fuck all these limp-dick redditors and chicken-shit discord users. Fuck this 24/7 Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit. Fuck "DK pride." Fuck the media! Fuck all of it! Donkey Kong Kountry is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it -- we need to pull it off the vine. Wipe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes a new Donkey Kong Kountry will be born. Returned, but not tropically frozen! The minor leagues will be purged and the dongest will jam -- free to play ball as they see fit, they'll make Donkey Kong Kountry great again!
Jorden: What the hell are you talking about…?
Armsdong: You still don't get it. I'm using basketball as a business to get elected... so I can end basketball as a business! In my new Donkey Kong Kountry, people will slam and jam all for what they BELIEVE! Not for contracts. Not for bananas! Not for what they're told is right. Every ape will be free to play on his own team!
[Armsdong repeatedly stomps Jorden, pausing his barrage to light a cigar.]
Armsdong: So... what do you think?
Jorden: How the hell did you get first-draft pick...
Armsdong: Well, I don't write my own game-plans. [Armsdong removes his foot from Shaqden's chest, looking out to the desert.] You should try playing for what you believe in sometime, Shaq. Not for a company, or a team, or for anyone else.
Jorden: Maybe I was wrong about you...
Armsdong: (happily surprised) Am I finally getting through?
[He lifts Jorden off the floor and dusts him off.]
Armsdong: I'll rid this Kountry of pointless games, Shaq.
Jorden: I was wrong. You're not cheating --
[He shakes Armsdong's hand, and eventually hugs him.]
Jorden: ...you're bat-shit insane!
[Armsdong is surprised once again. Jorden throws him on the floor. He gets up shortly after, angrily punching the platform.]
Armsdong: Making the mother of all coconut cream pies here, Jordan. Can't fret over every coconut shell.
Jorden: Not when you’re “purging the minor leagues," right? What do you know about “the minor leagues”? You weren't drafted onto a poor team. You've never lost a game. You don't know what it's like to slam and jam and foul just to survive...
Armsdong: But you did survive! Through hard work, not talent, following your own set of rules! With your own two hands you took back your court!
Jorden: And now I'll take yours.
[Second game with the senator begins.]
[Shaqden has 0.1% health left. He charges his fist with hard work that beats talent when talent failed to work hard, and hits Armsdong in the stomach. The senator doesn't even move. Jorden pummels the senator at extremely high speed, but Armsdong barely reacts, merely grinning the whole time.]
Jorden: (enraged) Why won’t you die?!
[Armsdong laughs and tears off his jersey. The camera focuses to his upper chest, where tendril-like scars spread out from above his heart to his entire body. The skin from his chest to his right arm turns brown, like coconut shells.]
Armsdong: Bananomachines, son. They expand in response to dong trauma. [He punches Dongcelsus' platform, cracking part of it.] You can't hurt me, Shaq.
[Jorden hits the senator in the jaw, and his skin turns brown at the impact site. Armsdong laughs.]
Armsdong: What did I just say?
[Armsdong punches Jorden into the air, and he falls flat. The senator walks over to Shaqden, adjusting his tie.]
Armsdong: Time to end this.
[Armsdong sits on Jorden, pinning him down. Diddy's sword lying next to Rambi the Rhino beeps and the LED on his logo turns green. Armsdong's increasingly fast slams can be heard in the distance.]
Armsdong: (while pummeling Jorden extremely quickly) Die! Die! [Armsdong draws his fist back.] Die, you place of shit!
[He strikes it with such force that the Metal Kong they were standing on explodes, massive pieces of rubble flying in the air and eventually crashing into the court. An area with relatively little rubble but blasted and cracked rocks is formed as a makeshift court. As Jorden lies on the ground, Armsdong walks towards him, cracking his knuckles.]
Armsdong: All right. I think we’re about done here.
Rambi the Rhino: Jorden.
Jorden: Rambi...
Rambi the Rhino: Begin playback:
Diddy’s voice: “Two years I've been working towards this, and on the last day baldie has me doubting the whole thing. We'll leave it up to fate then, shall we Rambi? A one-on-one, may the best man win.”
Jorden: Diddy?!
Diddy’s voice: “I beat him, and that's that. Back to our regularly scheduled international incident. But if he beats me... if I lose here... The lock on my ball will disable after a couple hours… What happens after that... is up to you, Rambi.”
Armsdong: (scoff) Even dead, that guy is a pain in my ass. (speaking to Rambi the Rhino) So… you think that little ball can save your teammate? Well, go ahead, then. But make no mistake, Fido. When I'm finished with him, you're next.
Rambi the Rhino: I was not designed to fear termination. However, directive zero one is to ensure all data acquired is preserved and passed along. To expire here would violate that directive.
Armsdong: That's a good boy.
Rambi the Rhino: However, Jorden came to my aid... I have learned from him. When Diddy Kong fell, post-game analysis was inconclusive... but that has changed. I have established new rules, now. Created my own directives.
Armsdong: You little fuck!
[Wolf throws the Banana Slamma to Jorden as Armsdong jumps towards him, He almost catches it, but reacts too slowly. The cyborg b-baller catches the blade.]
Armsdong: Damn mutt!
[Armsdong kicks Rambi the Rhino into the rubble]
Jorden: Armsdong! I said my b-ball was a tool of justice... Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now... now I'm not so sure. And besides... This isn't my ball.
Armsdong: (discarding his tie) Come on!
Jorden: OK. Let's ball.
[The final game with the senator begins!]
[Armsdong roars in fury, and bolts towards Shaqden, chokeslamming him. Jorden gets out of his grasp.]
Armsdong: I'll blow you away!
[Jorden injures Armsdong's arms as the senator tries to attack him. Armsdong runs at Jorden, but is impaled through the abdomen. Armsdong is staggered for a few seconds before shouting again, attempting to force Jorden downwards. Jorden headbutts the weakened senator, and slashes apart the skin over his heart before jamming his hand into Armsdong's chest.]
Jorden: We’re done here.
Armsdong: (coughing up blood) Well done, Shaq...
Jorden: Your dream dies with you.
[Jorden moves to rip his heart out, but Armsdong grabs him by the shoulder.]
Armsdong: Maybe not... You've guaranteed the status quo will go on, for a while longer at least… Basketball… will continue as an institution. As an industry. Men will play for reasons they don't understand, teams they don't believe in…
[He spits blood, groaning in pain.]
Armsdong: But at least I'll leave a worthy successor... You, Shaq. You carve your own path, use whatever methods you see fit... You don't let legal bullshit get in the way. And if it costs a few points? So be it...
[Jorden rips out Armsdong's still-beating banana heart, potassium arteries attached. He crushes it in his hand.]
Armsdong: Deep inside we're... playing for the same team... you... and I…
Outstanding
@@SaintDicc If you can believe it, I've got the entire script transcribed and edited for the other characters, in the event that you decide to finish the series. Probably failed two of my finals because I spent the time I should've spent studying on editting the script for this.
@Senator Armstrong He prayed to the Lord and Savior... Jesus Kong
@Senator Armstrong over the course of the week, when i probably should have been studying for finals honestly. What can I say, I love mgr:r a LOT.
I’ll MAKE DONKEY KONG COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN! - Senator Dongstrong
Never thought a human mind could concoct such an immaculate melting pot of sounds…
Agreed. This is a blursed masterpiece
Slamden: Why won't you JAM?
Dongstrong: Coconut Guns, son. They harden in response of physical slams!
I absolutely love how it's mostly sped up space jam vs slow/normal paced DK rap, representing Raiden's light-speed punches vs Armstrong's "immovable object" nanomachine-powered body.
Never thought i'd actually see any form of imagery in a meme mashup, but here we are, what a banger
Just realized while listening to this how terrifying the DK Rap's description of DK would be as a boss description. Also that DK chanting is SO HYPE
I am shedding tears, this was absolutely beautiful.
"What kind of music do you like to listen to?"
Me:
I've heard a lot of Dk rap mix's, and honestly I think this one's the best by far.
The way it mixes together with space jam AND It has to be this way is way too good.
"I played college Dong you know! Coulda gone pro!"
Sm strikers tho
At some cushy Gameboy school
"Who's to judge, the DONKEY KONG, when he FIRES IN SPURTS, I think we'll both agree"
This is high level art and I will spend the rest of my life slowly understanding the true meaning of these lyrics.
Lyrics:
So he's finally here... (finally here...)
Performing for you! (performing for you)
If you know the words (know the words)
You can join in too!
Welcome to the Space Jam (Space Jam)
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam
Alright (x4)
Ok!
DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK HUH
DONKEY KONG
DONKEY KONG
DONKEY KONG
DONKEY KONG
Everybody get up it's time to slam now
We got a real jam goin' down
Welcome to the Space Jam (Space Jam)
Here's your chance, do your dance
at the Space Jam
Alright (x4)
DONKEY KONG
Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine
We're gonna take it into overtime
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance
At the Space Jam
Alright!
Slamming here, I realize
DK HAS NO GRACE, HE HAS A FUNNY FACE (Alright!)
For who's to judge
the DONKEY KONG
When HE FIRES IN SPURTS I think we'll both agree
That WALNUTS breeds PEANUTS
But in the end it has to Jam this way
DONKEY KONG IS HERE
COME ON CRANKY, TAKE IT TO THE Jam!
Come on and slam
And welcome to the Jam
Come on and slam
If you wanna Jam
HE'S BIGGER, FASTER, AND STRONGER TOO
HE'S THE FIRST MEMBER OF THE DK CREW
C'mon it's time to get hyped say "Hoop there it is"
C'mon all the fellas say "Hoop there it is"
(Can barely understand the next part but this is my best guess)
HE'LL MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN HE PLAYS HIS TUNE
BUT KREMLINGS BEWARE
'Cause it's time to Slam Jam
CAN PICK UP A BOULDER
WITH RELATIVE EASE
MAKES CRUSHING YOU A BREEZE
SO LISTEN UP DUDE
THI-THIS KONG IN THE MOOD
AND THIS TIME HE'S AFTER YOU
(yeh)
Yet slamming across this wasted land
I feel new Jam will be born beneath the blood-stained
Slam (x16)
DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK DK
Beneath the blood-stained
Slam (x16) (DK Continues in the background)
W-W-W-WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS
GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH
(Hey you, watcha gonna do in the background)
WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS
GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH
W-W-W-WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS
GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH
WALNUTS, PEANUTS, PINEAPPLE SMELLS
GRAPES, MELONS, ORANGES AND COCONUT SHELLS AWW YEAH
Slam Jam (x2)
HUH
DK DK
also rip the heart I had before I finished editing
For the part you were unsure about, I believe it's
"HE MAKES YOU SMILE WHEN HE BLAZES THROUGH (technically he says 'PLAYS HIS TUNE' but I feel yours is thematically better)
BUT KREMLINGS BEWARE
'Cause it's time to Slam Jam!"
This amount of effort definitely deserves a pin or at least a heart
@@D-Up242 ty
you have done a great service to the internet
Here king you dropped this 👑
Finally... a being capable of rivaling the One Winged Kong
with the power of the space jam theme song, I think this might be the endboss
Have you heard of the One Winged Space Kong?
"That's a nice argument, Kong, why don't you back it up with a source?"
"My source is that I made it the dong up."
This feels like the melting pot of meme culture and I am here for it.
This song is so powerful it got recommended to me TWICE
Thrice
about 6 times
My page is full of nothing but this song les goooo 🤠
@@themarioking7127 what can we say
It goes hard as the banana slamma
This came out of nowhere and has no right to be as good as it is.
Making the mother of all cream pies, Shaq! Can't fret over every coconut!
This video isn't even out and it's already my favorite TH-cam video to exist
Was not expecting to see Kong with glasses today but here I am
This slaps harder than my lifelong depression
Potassium, Son!
My crush: what music are you into?
Me:
Bananas son… they harden up in response to trauma. you can’t hurt me diddy!
Little bastard thinks he has a speed advantage.
Bananomachines
@@zackozga2411 LMAO, That's so fucking good!
Honestly, this genuinely restores some of my faith for the future of humanity. It's just dumb and wacky but it's genuinely so beautiful that it almost brings me to tears. The fact that people can be this talented is just great and the fact that things like this exist is honestly one of the few reasons that existence as a whole has a purpose. It's just- I can't even describe it. It's beautfiul.
So it wasn't just me that got a bit of happy almost-tears over this!
Honestly, every now and then when watching videos like these I get a feeling that's hard to describe, of "humanity went from subsistence farming to this - that's so awesome".
Want to make music/videos/essays/stories/games/etc? You can make them for the cost of free (if you have a computer - it's like an artistic multitool). More if you don't feel like piracy.
We live in the time with the most... agency, I'd say. People can make things with this "all in one" device. Want to distribute it? Put it online. Don't need a publisher, a cassette/CD/VHS writer, or anything.
And we can find out nearly anything using the Internet. Want to see the images we have of other planets? Read about how a rocket works? See a tree of life based off of the DNA of organisms? Have fun! Don't even have to go to a library anymore.
We live in an imperfect world, I'd never deny that, but looking for the good is really useful. Stuff like this really underscores to me how much power people have now. It seems stupid, but it makes me so happy.
I was not in a good head space when I wrote this comment. I don't know what force(s) hrought this video to me in my time of need but it is one of my most cherished memories.
The only thing I can think of now is Kollective Kongsciousness
Bananomachines, Son.
3:38 Ok that caught me way off guard. Perfect.
2:21 The absolute PEAK of all rap, no other rap will ever compare. I was not ready for the complete actual masterpiece I was about to experience when I clicked on this.
as an MGS fan, I am either going to hate this, or love it
After premier: I love it
Well? Which is it?
It was great
Eating chicken nuggets while listening to this premiere at 7:08AM certainly makes you question your life.
God damn it, the premier hasn't even started and these comments are incredible
Shows you the class of people that listen to these songs
The way it chants 'DK, DK, DK, DK' at the start is legit badass.
This has no right to sound as amazing as it does.
"making the mother of all coconut pies here, michael cant fret over every nut"
top ten most epic anime battles
*”DON’T FUNK WITH THIS KONG!!!”*
-Senator Kongstrong
I don't really have any words for this because its to dam good to be explained
"Why won't you die?!"
"Coconut cream pies, little buddy. They harden as a response to physical trauma. You can't kill me, Diddy."
"Why am I not able to get the ball?!"
"Nanodribbles, son."
Charles the Ripper: Nice meme, why don't you back it up with a jam?
Armkong: With relative ease
"how are you still ballin'?!"
"Bananomachines son"
-WHY YOU DON'T JAM!
-EXPADINGMACHINES SON!
"Well if it isn't Saucy Jordan. Just a little too late, the game's nearly over. As usual..."
"Kongstrong?! Impressive little dong you've got there. But your game ends here."
*laughs* "Idiot. You're not ending this game, you're extending it. Checked the score lately?"
Candy: "Raidunk! Come in! Michael Jordan's plane is turning around!"
"What? How'd they know?"
Candy: "Someone posted photos of the court, they forgot to take a picture of the giant Kremling robot though. The whole league is up in arms!"
"Show me!' *checks TH-cam* "How did they...? The bracket leaked early...? Then Funky's plan is ruined."
Candy: "The HUH it is! Look what they're saying! The story just went live and already they're calling for a rematch!"
"But... Jordan still won."
"And yet Kong ankles were still broken."
"By Kongs! Besides, a few dozen players is tragic, but nothing to start a major rivalry over!"
"That's just the spark, son. The excuse we've been waiting for. The Isle's wanted this rivalry for years. The Kremlings -- they knew rivals were good for the players. Four years later their legacy lingers on..."
"The memes..."
"They left us their great "K"s! Kalm! Kool! Kollected! Welcome maxims for these with no faith -- without guiding principles of their own. Give yourself up to the team. No need to better yourself -- you're a Kong! You're number one! Then the only value left is ball value -- the score. So we'll do whatever it takes to keep it humming along. Even rivals. Especially rivals. The Kremlings planted the seed -- we don't need them around to filter and foster their memes any longer. We're spreading them just fine ourselves. Every Kong man, woman and child... We're all sons of the Ballers now! We just need something to jump start the team out of this funk. This recession it's been stuck in since the fall King K Rool."
"And the other team? Giving them motivation will better your chances?"
"Sponsors, commercial deals, money makers Jackboard! Trust me, a little rivalry can work wonders."
"So grease the gear with some Secret Stuff huh?"
"Relax, Jackboard. It's a "friendly rivalry." We're not out to beat casual players. Graduates. Pro teams. Professionals. Of course that would have to include you. Wouldn't want any eyewitness reports complicating the message."
*Kongstrong enters the Mobile Gear Fortress*
"Fear the wrath of DK Isle!"
That took a while, might have been too much work for a one time thing. Unless it isn't, I'd be more than happy to see Red Sun or Collective Consciousness slammed, but I know it's never a guarantee. Walk your own path, slam your own jams.
Nanonanas, son!
This concept alone makes me really curious as to how well stains of time would work with space jam
12 seconds in and I'm struggling to not laugh with my parents in the room, dear god I'm not ready for this.
"But slamming across this barren wasted land I feel new jam will be born beneath the blood stained slam"
Somebody call RichaadEB and Tre Watson, we need a cover of this
K Rool: Why won't you die?!
DK: Super Armor, Son.
Im sick from food poisoning rn. This song really did make it just a bit better. Dk THE OG.
"Walnuts breed peanuts."
Nice argument, dong. mind backing it up with a source?"
"My source is that I made it the fuck up."
*This, is the Ultimate Fusion!*
I know this is done mostly for comedy, but this is unironically good!
This video and all these comments are the reasons why I love this game and love this game getting a Renaissance now years later
"But who can judge the Donkey Kong" is a banger line
“Okay” - Senator Donkstrong
We're all Kongs of the Patriots now!
I'm making mother of all Jams here Charles. Can't fret over every Slam
"How are you still standing?!"
"Nanobananas, son! They harden in response to memetic trauma!"
*Bananomachines
I watched this expecting your run of the mill crappy shitpost, but... damn.
This has no right being this good, but it is, and I'm absolutely here for it.
This is beautiful, Ive looked at it for 5 hours now
This perfectly represents what it feels like to fight a Donkey Kong in super smash bros ultimate with super armour, down to the song and video
walnuts breeds peanuts
These memes fused into an unstoppable god.
holy shit I expected this to be good but I never expected it to be this good
excellent work this is going right on top of my playlist even above the Kong revolving
“You make your own music? That’s so cool! What genre?”
“Uhh, it’s complicated…”
waited all week pissed that i’d have to wait for friday. now i’m happy to end my week on this
What a perfectly seasoned and cooked meme. Automatic sub.
It’s really funny how I just downloaded this game yesterday because it was one sale. Immaculate timing.
"We're making the mother of all splits here, Jack! Can't fret over every banana..."
This is the kind of thing I would expect to have millions of views, but unfortunately it's not gaining that much traction.
Depends on your perspective. It rocketed up to 200k which is way above what I normally get round these parts
@@SaintDicc 551K in a couple months. If it was doing better than most videos, it's certainly in the top 10 now.
Kong looks like he's running late to his job at Black Mesa.
I am genuinely frightened by how well this was made. Good stuff.
Agreed
WHY IS THIS SO GOOD
Masterpiece
Thank you, John Xina
I have two heart rates. One is my pulse and the other is how often St. Diccholas hearts my comments.
We found it: the Final Boss of the Internet
This is like an entire subgenre on TH-cam.
Super old subgenre too, slams have been going since day 1
"Relax shaqden, it's a war on Kremlings. We're not out to kill slam jammers"
Took me long find this masterpiece!
Coming back to this monstrosity after equipping myself with some actual knowledge of MGSRR has made the lore and experience so much better.
10/10, would fire in spurts again.
A good song is pleasing to the ears. A masterpiece tells a story
I had no idea this existed. I'm so happy I'm alive to witness this. A LOT of terrible shit has happened, but creations like this still make me feel like this is the best timeline. Thank you Based God!
This is the peak of music crossovers.
This is what the sailors of old heard when the sirens sang
I hate how well this works, and now I have a new favorite crossover track
A weapon to surpass One-Winged Space Kong...
"Bananomachines, son."
-Senator Donkstrong