Why Don't Guys Ask Me Out? | Christian Dating Advice
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- Hey girls! Have you ever felt like no one is asking you out, or no guys like you? Today James and I have four tips for you, that might make a difference. And we also want to encourage you that if you feel like this, you're not alone, and being single doesn't mean there's something wrong with you! And, as always, share your thoughts in the comments. We love you girls! -Tiffany (& James)
ALSO CHECK OUT THESE VIDEOS!
What I Wish I Knew About Singleness:
• How to Enjoy Being Sin...
To All the Single Girls:
• To the Single Girls | ...
IF YOU WANT TO TALK MORE ABOUT BOYS...
I have a whole book about my journey through relationships, singleness, feeling not-pretty-enough to be loved, and ultimately the incredible place God brought me in our Father-daughter time. This book is written like a novel, but filled with the things I learned along my way. It also has discussion questions and space for journaling. Check it out here: www.tiffanydawn.net/boycrazy
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2️⃣ "Boycrazy: And how I ended up single and (mostly) sane" shares my pre-marriage years. It's written like a novel, but also includes the things I learned about singleness and dating, and includes discussion/reflection questions with some lines for journaling!
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I love that he’s just sitting there eating them drops random truth bombs and goes back to his bowl😂
Victoria Hicks Hicks lol
My last brain cell tbh
So typical of guys😄
Victoria Hicks Hicks 😆😆😆😆😆
😂
1-Be friendly
2-Expand ur horizons
3-meet more people
4-u can ask him out
And ur not alone
@xwinniez we’re equal now remember
Females think they are above asking out any man... unless he's extremely attractive.
@@BillClinton228 As someone who use to be very attractive in high school & college (around 08-2015), I've never been asked out. Know not to have expectations for these sorts of things, and when I was confident I could at least momentarily draw at least some women in (tho now my rationality & passions can be crippling, let alone so many women hate rationality and need to be in control nowadays).. tho there's this myth of "oh wow you are too hot to be single" but as a guy it's never "oh wow girls are cray, yeah you do you" but all "man you need to get your $**t in gear", least the vibes I got. I get what the research says, men who marry live longer yada yada, I despise this world overall, and the heights and energies I must spend/ go to be resilient and just stay afloat in this damn world is too much to stay here forever... But back on topic. I'm sure girls like that exist, tho maybe I intimidated some girls(?).. of course they feel entitled, also that there must be something seriously wrong with guys if they are that hot and single, even if subconsciously. Yet you hold a girls hand anywhere in school or make out, bam A Lot more women like ya. It's a weird subconscious phenomena, and one, especially being hardcore christian at the time, I couldn't just intentionally make girls envious... Not that I wish to go back to grade school days, I know they were overall hell/ juvenile prison. And I especially hated working retail. Still a blessing in disguise some keeper b#tch didn't claim me over the years, seriously a mystery, they had so many chances before I wisened up....
People like these are LUCKY. She is not only disabled (to a certain extent), but she is HAPPILY married and just had her third baby.
Bethany Hamilton th-cam.com/video/l_X_1ZG8rSQ/w-d-xo.html
Meg Johnson th-cam.com/video/7iKS0JtUVFQ/w-d-xo.html
James has such a thoughtful face while he's eating.
LOL he really does!!😂
Are you talking to me or Tiffany?? I'm wearing a dress with a high neckline...
studmalexy dude you’re like really weird and creepy. these girls are obviously not dressing for you to “lust” after them you’re just a pervert.
😂😂😂
Hihi
James has a perfect voice for radio or cartoons 👀
So true!
He sounds like Steve from Blues Clues!
Ft
“Still can’t play guitar.” 😂😂
How about a date? 😊
I needed to hear all of this. I definitely need to work on being more approachable and friendly, I tend to be cold stone faced and quiet until I get used to being around new guys. Thank you so much for this encouragement!!
I have definitely been that way too!!
Same with me! 😊
YOUR GONNA BE SINGLE FOR LIFE LMAOOO
Lol guys feel the same way you know.
Why didn't you want to go out with me? 🤔 I want to approach you but there's a cold face glaring at me. 😞
Love your first tip of being approachable! I think that’s huge, a guy wants to feel like he won’t be shut down if he gets the courage to ask you out :) Your all’s insight is great!
Paul and Morgan so true. Being friendly is helpful
Yuliya Lyube 😊😊
Yuliya Lyube
I feel like when I try to be friendly I come across as desperate?
I never seem to be able to connect because I think I try too hard to be friendly.. and then I end up having a really formal conversation because I'm too forced when trying to socialise.
You probably guessed, I don't have m(any)/men-ny friends. I need help :×
Who would've thought not looking like u had a stick implanted in ur ass would make someone more inclined to approach u
If the girl likes you it shouldnt even be an effort to talk to them
I never could get guys at my church to date me. I was friendly and asked guys out but most Christian guys didn't like me. I was told later it was my very strong personality that Christian guys didn't like. I met the man I am with now and he was saved but not what I had in mind. He started to pursue God more and then we got closer and now we are married.
Jessica Freda can you please share more? Did he even mind your strong personality?
Story of my life. But reading this encourages me.
@cfm1181 nah
You know what the guys who found your personality too strong were just not your type and you probably wouldn't have paired well with them, but that doesn't mean something is wrong with you! God made us as we are and we dont need to apologize for it. Glad you found the right person - Who loves God. which is the most important thing.
Reductio ad Highlander: "There can be only one."
Your strong personality and quirks would never be meant for "quantity" but instead reinforce the opposite: quality. You did exactly what I would expect a good woman to do.
Here, are some tips for women if they want to increase their odds of meeting more guys:
1. Smile at guys. We will assume you have interest or think we have food in between our teeth.
2. Occasionally, eat alone on the patio of a restaurant or cafe or drink your coffee out on the patio near the sidewalk where people walk by. Then, smile and say hello to guys as they come by. Guys are more inclined to approach you if you are by yourself.
3. Go to the park to walk or jog and post up at places where people tend to congregate to stretch, near the parking lot, outside of bathrooms and what not. And strike up conversations. It is hard to meet people while you are jogging but it is much easier to have these conversations in the places where people tend to congregate.
4. When in conversations with guys, show interest by complimenting guys. A lot of guys are shy and might even misread some of your body language as a lack of interest. Make it clear you are interested if you are and don't leave it to oh they should just know. Guys only just know from the experience of asking out a lot of women which shouldn't be the type of guys you are looking for anyway. Instead, help them and make it easy on them.
5. Put your phone away and take out your earbuds. And walk at a more casual pace. In other words, be approachable and provide more opportunities for guys to approach you.
6. Go to a real estate seminar. Lots of guys will be there and ask guys for help. Guys have an ego and will want to show off their knowledge.
7. Don't use online dating apps. They will become a distraction and a crutch and they don't have good payoff. Instead, put yourself in real life situations where you can meet men like meetup groups, language exchanges, co-ed softball or soccer teams. Online dating apps also give women a false sense of worth. I don't really want to get into that here but just point out that a man showing you interest in real life is worth 100 or 1,000 men doing the same on an online app.
8. If you like a guy just go up and ask him a question and keep the conversation going with some followup questions. Sprinkle in the occasional compliment and most guys will understand what is going on. Some guys will still be too shy because they weren't ready for the situation. But you could always just say to them towards the end "so are you going to ask me out or not?" with big smile. By that time in the conversation, it shouldn't be that big of a deal to ask.
This is AMAZING. Thank you.
‘False sense of worth’ not really the right word is it? Women have worth.
False sense of something else maybe but men are constantly making women doubt their worth. Based on their age, looks, personality.
So since you’ve given all these tips, it’s only fair that I give some:
1. Don’t believe that women have a false sense of ‘worth’. They should feel worthy. But they don’t. Because men’s ‘honesty’ is actually just cruelty disguised as honesty. The kind of men who tell women they are depreciating assets.
2. Just because you’ve encountered women who may be overconfident, that does not mean that the majority go in dating sites and have a false sense of ‘worth’.
3. There’s more types of women than the overconfident ones mentioned above and the shy ones who don’t smile. There’s a lot of women with a healthy confidence who know how to smile. More women like this than you think there are.
@@samanthajoy3889 actually they’re all obvious and based on the idea that women don’t *actually* struggle to meet guys. Because if people actually listened to women who say this, they would know that they already TRIED and try these things, and it doesn’t work .
But people, especially women who have it easy, and men, don’t believe this do they give the same advice like the women are too naive to have thought of it already.
But for the very few who haven’t already heard this 20 million times, yeah it would be helpful. But men need to stop assuming it’s so easy for women.
It’s not. There are a lot of horrible men out there. Women do not just want a date, or someone to sleep with. They want a partner. And that is not easier for women, that’s easier for men.
1. Why am i still single?
2. Why doesnt anybody asked me out?
3. Why doesnt anybody liked me?
Oh goodness gracious. Exactly my questions
1) Are you approachable?
2) Do you love yourself?
3) Are you respectable?
Men communicate through respect. If someone's not respectable, they're not going to be approachable or lovable. Ephesians 5:33 gives the direct command for wives to respect their husband. Notice how in the earlier versus he commands men to love their wives.
Men = Respect
Women = Love
God is just taking His time writing me one heck of a love story. 🙌
hahaha typical woman
if he ant you had fun on journey .. it is what it is .. what will be will be beside s helping the odds with knowledge .
All the best
@Robert Jones That's rude. You shouldn't say that to people. Oh but who am I to talk? I'm just a woman.
That's me. Please pray for me. I want to date a godly guy. 😭
Praying won’t do anything, there is no god
I will pray for you, girl. God will place the right one into your life ❤
@@tonijanelle4400 Thank you 💗
@@cosmicrider1751 lol please don't give advice if you are not in her shoes... let her decide who she wants she can definitely find one in that range but you have to step back and go about your merry way if you don't believe in God.
Piss Off you must live a very sad life living without true love. The fact you force your sad Godless religion on her just shows how hypocritical and angry you are.
This is so relevant to me at the moment. I've never had a proper boyfriend, guys just aren't really interested in me and I've never wanted to rush into a relationship or anything. My non christian friends are always saying I need a boyfriend and stuff. Even christian friends always ask about my love life. My family has started now too. I keep getting really stressed and lonely because of it. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
Etakaria I'm in the same situation so you're definitely not alone
Etakaria yeah its tough, i think girls don't know how afraid guys are to approach girls. i was always dead afraid to approach girls, and i felt sad because i really felt attracted to them but i just felt overwhelmed with fear and i know almost all guys feel that way. Most of us guys don't have many female friends (or any at all), so to enter a girl's social circle and life without having common friends to ease the anxiety, is like being a stranger to a village and trying to belong.
i know girls feel that guys aren't interested but that appears that way because guys don't approach girls, because guys are dead afraid.
some guys are less afraid than others, im more afraid than most guys, but i have rarely met a guy that wasn't somewhat afraid.
and i liked what Tiffany said about girls being friendly, that would help me and guys sooo much, whenever i tried talking to girls i could never figure out if they actually liked me or not.
guys are really, really, really bad at noticing things. I have been watching Tiffany's videos for months before i realized she was making videos for girls, when i realized i was watching videos for girls i felt really embarrased, and i only realized it because in a video Tiffany said that these videos were for girls and her women's ministry.
since guys are really bad at noticing things, and finding out if a girl actually likes us, a girl being friendly and upfront would really help a lot.
friendliness helps guys feel like they can belong to the girl's social circle and life, and thats what guys really want. I often read and hear that guys only want dirty things, but thats not true, guys see girls as the gateway to a very different social world, and thats what guys want, to belong to the girl's world, because it intrigues guys on a deep psychological level.
friendliness and helping guys feel accepted is what guys look for.
Rebecca's randomness its really tough, i mentioned to etakaria that its because guys are dead afraid, some less than others, but i rarely meet a guy that isnt afraid to approach girls.
i would feel very bad and guilty meeting so many pretty girls and feel too overwhelmingly afraid to approach them, and i would see the girls feel disappointed that i didn't approach them and i would beat myself up because i felt it was my fault they felt unwanted and undesirable, but in reality i really felt attracted to them, but it was too hard for me to talk to them.
Most guys aren't as afraid as i feel, which is good, most guys will probably approach at least a few girls in their lifetime. Being friendly to guys will help us talk to girls, almost every time i ever did talk to a girl was because they talked to me first, but they only felt comfortable enough to talk to me because they didn't feel attracted me.
Talking to someone you're attracted to is really hard, friendliness would really help a lot.
Thank you. It's reassuring to know girls aren't the only ones who are scared about this sort of thing.
I don't think theres anything wrong with guys watching these videos. Especially when they comment and give their own perspective.
I will definitely be aware of being more friendly around guys in the future.
That does sound really stressful! When people always ask that definitely adds to the sense of stress/loneliness. You are definitely not alone!
I asked a great guy out a couple weeks ago. We went out on a date, and had a great time.
We decided to be friends, but I’m so glad I asked him out. I’d definitely ask a guy out again,
ladies DONT BE AFRAID. Most guys will be genuinely happy to be asked out.
James is right it is hard for guys to ask girls out. And my wife ask me out 25 years ago after meeting at a gas station. All in God's plan
I just turned 30 and am still single and struggling lately. Appreciate your videos, Tiffany! 💗
Hello
Girl same!
eQuariuz I’m not sure what you’re implying, but I’ve been on 2 dates in the last 3 years, have never had a boyfriend, and am saving sex for marriage. I go through phases of loneliness and was struggling at the time I originally commented.
@eQuariuz exactly I was talking to this one girl and her definition of struggling was not having had been on a date or a fling in 3 days🤣🤣... all jokes aside everyone is different and applies discipline differently..but I totally get it most modern women nowadays have been brainwashed by feminism.... it's like the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore .. I know that the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore...
Pickel Sandwich No, they wanted second dates! But the first dates were horrible and they were not quite who they depicted online. 😒
It takes sooooo much courage for a guy to ask a girl out. It does. Because rejection sucks. I cant imagine getting the nerve up to do that. But you know what also sucks? Rejecting. Rejecting someone knowing they decided to be brave, and then having to hurt them. I've had it happen before, and I hated every minute of hurting that guy. I only wish more girls could be nice about it and make it as painless as possible instead of getting enjoyment out of hurting someone or embarrassing them. Spread love, not hate ❤
Pretty much
But why do we have to coddle these men? Ok rejection sucks. I've been rejected many times by men and sometimes in the most nasty ways. If I'm able to let it go and move on, why can't they? It's not like we're asking them to make a life threatening decision, it's just initiating a conversation. Today's men really need to man up, and start acting like men again.
Today's men don't need to do anything for today's women
Grace Guetschow ... well done on recognizing both sides of the coin. The answer to this issue is to get better and sending (for girls) and receiving (for guys) non verbal signals. If girls could send well crafted non verbal signals to a guy that they are open to being approached, the guy will approach. And if the screws up and starts an unwanted approach, cold nonverbal signals can give his the clue he needs to abort the unwanted approach before going too far.
Also, rejection can be super easy, simply "be busy" at the time of the proposed date... and don't offer an alternative. A guy with good social skills will take that hint.
And to the commenter that was so uncaring about guys feelings... the power is a rejection scenario lies with the rejector, and for this reason they should endeavour to a often the blow. Just because guys didn't live up to this standard with you doesn't mean the standard isn't right.
God bless all.
Grace Guetschow thanks for recognizing that. I remember rejections 10+ years ago. One was hilarious i had a friend he was a pick up artist. I don't believe in that, but we approached a group of girls. He tried a line he told me about for a week, ended up having sex with one. The rest left the table because "i wasn't as charismatic as my friend was"
😂😂😂 That first tip was so me when I was younger! I was so cold toward guys...I was just so super shy! I think we have all probably felt like this at some point in our lives! Great tips guys! Loved it!! Also, your hair looks so healthy and bouncy! Loved it! Xxx
Mat & Est - ChristianVloggers that was me too
This was sooo me😂😂 my secret exposed
Mat & Est - ChristianVloggers If I like someone I automatically avoid them
I am 20 and I think I am still cold towards guys realizing that now.
I love that you explain how rough at times it is for an introvert. I'm the same way. I wish the church family would embrace introverts more often. I'm in a place, that seems like you have to be an extrovert to be part of the group. There loss! I love them amyways.
James being there was sooo super helpful... I can finally kind of see the guys perspective now..
P.s you're so cute together 😁
Both of you made good points in this video.
1. Broaden your horizons... Get out to meet other ppl outside of your circle... I personally done this myself and had success
2. You can be attracted to different types of women..personality wise, body type wise, certain features... Be open to date/get to know different types of women.
I'm still single (31 years old) but I like the path I am on regarding my confidence and personal growth.. I am sure marriage is in the future for me
The short of it is that guys just gave up 😂 they don’t care too continue trying anymore.
This is the same for a lot of girls, though.
@@himawarinone3661 And when did girls ever TRY to approach guys? How can you give up on something you never even tried?
1) I’m approachable, I’m often told this by others
2) I have no particular preferences, physical or otherwise, except that I have to be attracted to him and him to me. Personality makes people attractive, tbh, I’ve definitely swiped past people who are conventionally attractive and been attracted to guys who are not what everyone would call ‘hot.’
3) In a pandemic, it’s hard, but I have tried a few socially distanced dates and going on dating apps - no joy.
4) Been there, done that in pre-pandemic times. Went on those dates, nothing doing. I also dislike having to do that, I want a man who’s not afraid to ask for what he wants.
Thank you both, but tbh, I have done all these things and it’s not working :/ I am encouraged by your last point though of making the best of where you’re at, I suppose I will have to continue with that.
ASk hIM OUt?!!!! My heart is beating just thinking about it.
cause you have to pay?lol
LOL, please pin this comment. There's loads of guys in here saying "Girls should ask guys out!"
I can't explain to them all why that simply won't work.
@@xbbt7770 you did know for some guys asking girls simply won't work ether. things get nasty for both parties. it better for right personality type to do the asking. my sister is esfp and she was able to play the game. I am intp and let just say I experience the grip of inferior function and made the girls feel uncomfortable. also make the men feel broken if they are wrong personality type to play the game.
and exactly who some guys feel.
@@spark300c It's not a problem of personality, but confidence. And the way a woman sees it: "If he'd scared of me, a tiny woman, how is he gonna handle the big problems in life?"
I feel ur pain im 38 and never had a gf. Id be happy with just some friends to hang out with but nobody even wants to do that.
Mark r your not missing anything except head games with psychos and getting dumped for another guy. Your better off keeping to yourself, most so called friends only want to use you and take your money anyways.
Bro hit up the gym.
James is just adorable.....very helpful, very sweet
Thank you guys for blessing me with your videos. Y’all are so warm and loving. I’ve been pretty wayward lately, but I’m glad there’s Christian TH-camrs like you who actually inspire people to come close to the faith.
I love the way James reacts every time you talk about things you used to do in the past, he just nods his head as if he's always learning something new!
I'm a home schooled highschooler so its a bit harder to meet people but I still love the advice you too have given in this video especially when its a thought that's almost constantly on girls mind
No way!! I was homeschooled too, and so was James! What a small world! :):):)
We are everywhere, and we often are late bloomers.
wish i was home schooled . i would to control my kids education to life skills and talents . think about future jobs and hobbies ... if you work with horses be around women mostly all the time. i worked on farms so was spending lots times with cows and few guys .. haha. keeps you single tired and injured ..
When I was in middle school and praying for my future husband (asking God to prepare him for our future marriage) I had the same things on my list: tall, musician, etc and God asked me "Is it okay if he's not a musician but involved in music?" And I thought really hard about it... said yes 😄 after I said yes I wondered if He was basically telling me that my future husband won't be exactly those things or if he really did have someone with those qualities 😄 but I thank God anyway that He knows what is best! 😁 I am married and my husband doesnt sing and isnt a musician but when we met I learned he raps 😂
Candace M I've seen some of your comments on Paul and Morgan's channel. You seem so sweet and always have something productive to add. As a single 17 year old girl, I really enjoy reading your insight!
You chose height over musical involvement. Interesting priorities.
Awwww this is so awesome
I wonder what that conversation looked like.
@@Theimmure between who?
I literally googled the title of this video without knowing I'd find this. This was a God thing & I'm so grateful. You've got a new subscriber! It feels so good to be understood & recognized because some nights it's easier but others I wonder if I'm ever going to be loved by the right man, get married, have that happily ever after story. Thanks so much for this video!!! It's much needed & appreciated. This encourages me to be okay right now.
Thank you for this actual Christian dating advice! I feel like a lot of Christian dating advice is just telling girls to wait, which is partially true... but they also need to seem approachable and some of the other stuff you said!
We men have gotten tired if all the demands and expectations of women before a relationship even gets started. Add in the risk that comes with a relationship and it becomes a no brainier.
I just realized what is wrong with me all these times...I am always walking around with a stone cold face and never properly answered any guy whom I am not close to...And my crush is just like the way I am,we are both super introverted,he is a friend of my friends,so that means we kind of belong to the same circle,he has been throwing hints that he likes me too(I don't know if he ever knows I like him) despite his shy,introverted nature,and his inexperiences with women....so I would say I'm pretty sure he likes me...but I realized I am just not approachable,and to be honest again,I find it so so hard to flash a smile even on my friends😂😂😥.......Thank you for this eye opening video .... and you have such a great chemistry,hope you continue to be happily married😊
I love that James is frequently just sitting there chowing down and dropping nuggets of wisdom here and there for the rest of us to nibble on.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm one of those girls you spoke about..word to word. Feels really nice to know I'm not alone. And your tips are simple yet very practical.
Hi Tiffany, I like your tips so much!! You and James speak in such an encouraging way. Thank you for the video!! You are amazing
Hey guys! Randomly found your video in suggested videos and really appreciated this! You weren’t telling me anything new, but it’s really cool to be encouraged in where I’m at. Thankyou!
Jasmine Ruigrok hey how you doing
I love your tips! I’ve definitely been wondering this myself as of late and this video was so helpful and needed. I absolutely agree on different timelines for different people. It’s a bit tough for me since most of my family were settled and married by the time they hit my current age but I keep reminding myself of timelines and God’s plan for me. I definitely need to work on my approachability because I tend to get “tunnel vision” when out in public and zone in on whatever I’m out to do. Lol. I feel like God is really helping me to transform as a person as I’m lately feeling more called to church and I’ve been getting way more involved than I had been previously. Things go the way he plans them and I trust in his will. Thanks again for all of your videos!
Thank you for this video. It's encouraging to hear that there are others who feel and experience this! We can do this sistahs!
Why do I feel like I know you guys? I noticed that I've started to think of you two as my spiritual parents if that makes any sense at all. You guys are so sweet and I can truly feel the passion you have for the Lord and each other. Much love
Awwww!! Much love back to you Rebecca!! :):)
Loved the part of finding your fulfillment in God and not in your spouse. I was so insecure when I met me now husband and yes it is lovely being married but it is not a cure-all! This video was amazing and I loved every point!
Wow! Such a good video. And I love how you said that girls so often limit themselves to one type of guy and forget that theres so much more about a guy than just his looks. What point is there in dating someone and marrying someone who has all the looks on our checklist but a boring personality?
For a single almost 19 year old girl, who has never had a boyfriend, this video was on point! So much truth! Love you guys🥰🙏😚❤
Thank you for these videos Tiffany. Helps me feel more encouraged as a perpetually single person that's been bitter about that for years lol. I go through days of "WHY HAVENT I FOUND ANYONE?!" but then I see random things that make me realize how many people around me that are my friends, or youtubers that I like, who are near to my age who are completely single as well. Like Smosh, everyone on the main cast except for Noah Grossman is single and they're all pushing 30 except for Courtney. (At least, as single as they choose to portray to the public) I also have to remind myself that it's not necessarily a have to find someone young society anymore. So many are getting married in their late 20's or 30's.
I just found your channel & I love you guys!! You have such real honest advice. :)) thank you for shedding some light on issues like this. You guys are the cutest💕
This video is sooo good. Thanks for the tips, specially your last words about trying to fill the void. It is amazing to know God like the only person who can fulfill you. Love you guys!
Gilda Torres It is a good video!
I've heard those advices before, but I love hearing them again!!!
I just found you on TH-cam! You weren’t hidden, but revealed to me at the perfect time😊🎉. Thank you for your videos
You guys are so cute. I like this from a Christian perspective. We need more channels like this
Love your videos , Tiff! You seem like such a kind spirit and I like that you aren't judgmental in your videos❤️
That is so encouraging. Thank you. :)
I can so relate to your first tip and your story/example. I do that all the time and am currently working on that. Thank you for the video! I loved it ❤❤
Wow... I so needed this today!!! Thank you for sharing!! ♥️
Love your videos! James is always an awesome addition in your videos. His two cents are always helpful
Yuliya Lyube hey how are you
Great tips!! Better than I was expecting haha always love your videos :)
Thanks Tiffany! This video was helpful and encouraging. Love you guys! ☺️❤️
LOVE this video! Definitely related to it and needed to hear it!♥️ Thanks for posting!
Thank you for this video! This is something I have struggled with for a while. The first point really applies to me. My friends have told me I walk around with RBF, and so that is for sure something I need to work on.
Hahahaha I have DEFINITELY done that too 😂👌
I’m 20 and feel hopeless but I do want to stop being shy and be more open. Thanks for the tips ❤️
You're 20 not 40. Not even 60. Don't give up.
I just want to thank you guys so much for this!! Very helpful!!
May the Lord bless you both so much!!❤
😭😭I am not alone.. Thank you 😭😭
James is so funny! Loved the tips. Thank you!
Jessica De La Cruz are you Spanish? 😇
Thank you so much for this video. I kind of teared up a bit because I FEEL THIS TOO AND I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SO MUCH LATELY! The guy I like and I have a really sarcastic friendship right now. We are always joking around and poking fun at each other (in a nice way of course). But I’m always worried that since we have pretty different personalities, (I’m more calm, shy and mellow, and he’s loud, the most outgoing person I know, and energetic) that he thinks that I’m being serious and that I don’t care for him. And I never want to give him that idea because I’ve realized, especially lately, that I care for him so much more than I thought I did. I will definitely try to follow your advice and keep an open mind about it all, as well as a hopeful attitude. Just over this past year I’ve been getting to the age where a lot of my peers are dating. A lot of my friends are finding boyfriends and I’ve felt so caught behind and incapable of doing the same. There have been maybe one or two guys that have said that they liked me, but they didn’t know me. It was such a surface level thing. It didn’t feel right talking to them and I felt uncomfortable like I was being objectified or something because they only knew me from the outside. And I didn’t know them. I tried to give them a chance, but it wasn’t right to me. With the guy i like now, it feels more right. I don’t know where God is going to take this or what his plan is, but I feel like God is just calling me to pour into his life right now and be an encouragement. I don’t know if He’ll develop this into a long-lasting relationship or if we’ll stay friends but I know that this guy needs someone to care for him right now. Anyways, this comment got so off track. Thank you for this video though!
It's so true that a deeper much more meaningful attraction comes from getting to know someone, doing life with them. Go on a day trip and see how they respond to you after being together all day.
Most men walk around like we are invisable. Women find this out when they hit the Wall.
Yup and strong young independent women complain about dating down and refuse to date anyone under 6ft.... if that isn't a double standard I don't know what is..
@xwinniez 😂
I just love hearing her speak, she has such a positive energy!
Awwww!!!! Thank you!!
I really needed this video, I am so glad I found this channel!
So true ,nice advices Tiffany &James ! God bless you guys ! :)
When did women ever buy into the myth they are somehow immune from rejection? It's part of life. Ask any guy.
'Still can't play guitar' 😂😂 thank you @paul& Morgan for showing me this video❤️🔥🔥
Joanna Lambright what other instruments do you play?
7:59 THIS IS KEY!!
You must mutually pursue each other. If one is pursuing more than the other, or no pursuit is happening from the other, your relationship is doomed to fail. If you can't talk it out and get on the same page, leave.
I speak from years of experience and heartbreak. You will bless yourself in the end if you don't put up with that nonsense.
This was soooo helpful!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!! God bless you both!!!
I'll tell you why many of us Christian guys are not asking you out.
1. If it is church, we are going to be petrified. Esp if we have been going to that church for a while and call it home. Have known a few guys who have loved the church, asked a woman out, have it not work out, and not return to the church cause of how awkward and the feeling of home being gone. Better safe than sorry.
2. In tandem with #1, we are scared for a number of reasons. Rejection is certainly one as affirmed in Exp #1. But also, if we are going to engage, we are not going to engage for the same reasons the rest of the world does. Not to have fun or go though people (Exp, "Oh, I'll just get another bf/gf"), but to genuinely get to know the person for the possibility of courtship. Means we are not looking for anything shallow. This leads to the possibility of marriage which also leads to the possibility of divorce and guess what is involved in marriage these days? Government. Many men have been pillaged by the system and men know it is against them. Many of us have been educated by our fathers, lack of a father, or other men. We fear the ever living crap out of divorce. Cause it is the ticket to free money (for you) thanks to government intervention, and if you throw a child in the mix, its even worse. Government has created and enabled the culture of single motherhood as a result. Ya, we are more cautious than ever and IF we do ask you out, don't take it lightly.
3. Women these days are more focused on a career and not committed to the motherly duties of the past such as talking care of the house, children, and cooking, etc. (most of you don't even know how to cook) Many of us who had good parents, know. Genuine femininity is rare and there are a lot of fakes in the church.
4. Many of us are saving ourselves for marriage, and we expect the same out of the other, which is beyond freaking rare. Churches are filled with single mothers who are looking for a guy to "settle down with" (hashtag, had a supper crazy party and sex filled youth and now I want you to take care of my problems with your money). Yes we are discriminating and we are using the Word of God to do it.
5. Many other reasons, just look into the recent creation and surge of the mens rights movement.
PS, something that really pisses me off about churches these days is how they are adding more women's groups and retreats and have removed all of the men's groups. -_-
Overall, yes were scared and are unlikely to move, especially if no solid indications are given.
Author- Some random Christian guy you will probably disregard
Wow...
ThatBrowser Sadly I agree with you.
Agreed bro.
youre right
I so needed this video today! Thank you so much!! I struggle a lot with these thoughts and feelings being in my early 20's and never having had a boyfriend. I think it's because I do the opposite of these tips. These have helped me a lot and changed my mindset especially the last one. I tend to believe that the guy has to be the one to ask me out first otherwise it doesn't mean as much. I need to be more open-minded as well because I may be missing out on a great guy because he doesn't look or have a certain quality. So happy to have found your channel ❤
Renee Fries Mexican and Latino men love white women. White women are our queens and we love them like a bee loves honey. Any white women can get any Mexican and Latino men they want. For this reason I encourage our white women to get your Mexican /Latin lover. I also encourage our Mexican / Latin men to get your gorgeous white women together = forever love. ❤
If you haven't had a boyfriend by your 20's, then that's your choice. You've got a couple years left before your options shrink dramatically.
@@nicholasrandall3507 wdym
@@account10558 It means men are attracted to youth and fertility. The highest tier men will commit to only tattooless, debt-free virgins between 18-24.
Most women just choose to sleep around and get into debt for part of their life, and wonder why the men they want won't commit to them.
@@nicholasrandall3507 you sound salty
You two are adorable!! Thanks for the encouragement.
Tiffany you are a breath of fresh air! I love listening to you!
I’m so blessed my current girlfriend who I had been crushing on for a while actually hit me up first we both had been crushing for awhile but she was verryyyyy not approachable as she had just moved and started going to my church I thought she hated me every time I would compliment her or show interest and now we both very happy! Sometimes girls you need to show interest. Just a text maybe or initiate a conversation once or twice. Even if you believe men should be the initiators or the leaders of a relationship (which they usually are) you can take a step and initiate a conversation this shows interest and gives us guys more confidence to take the leap of faith and ask you out!!
"Why don't guys ask me out?" I have a better question: why do girls reject me or flake on me when I DO ask them out?
Thumbs up 1000%
Answer: because at the touch of a button, we have a dozen other men waiting for us. Why would we stick to yo ass if we have better just around the corner? smh
@@klel4334 I'm sorry, are you one of these girls asking "Why don't guys ask me out?"
@KLel you sound like a future single mother with all different baby daddys lmao smh
Lol, hey dummies... "K Lel" is a dude, not a dudette.
Look at his channel, it's all mens shit.
Lesson #1 - Never assume anything about anyone on YouTard without a minimum amount of investigation.
Lesson #2 - If you check out the persons channel, and they have ZERO content that reasonably proves anything about themselves, you can assume whatever you like as they are an anonymous chickenshit coward anyway.
This was a great video, thanks Tiffany!
This is the first video on this topic that I actually agreed with ever!!! Thanks 👍
From the guy's perspective. These are great tips.
Also, these all apply to guys too. It's not like only girls have these issues.
Men look to meet their socio sexual needs when their housing needs are met. Housing needs take a long time to meet in 2018... As a 37 year old virgin, I work all the time, which means the only girls I meet is at work, which means I can get fired for sexual harassment if I ask them out. Which means the last 15-20 years of work on my housing needs would collapse.
Support your brothers, sisters.
Honesty there! It's just not as easy to afford a family, and families can't support their daughters hanging around the house till get get married, so women go off to work too, and we are all searching for financial stability. Unfortunately, as I was discussing with a group of FB friends, financial stability is not always a predictable and stable goal, so that can leave you 40 and childless with your biological clock half pat 11 (women) or under the weight of financial burden with mouths to feed (men). i worked in a school for the last 12 years, definitely not a place to try to date. And that was the end of that...
FourSquareMicroFarm Part of the problem is that the incoming hordes of immigrants do have a lot of families with multiple incomes where everybody worked and this pushes up housing prices to the point that the "first leave the house when then turn 18" model isn't working anymore. The baby boomers let in all these tribalist immigrants and are shocked to find out that there kids want and need a tribe in order to have the things they did.
@@UnityFromDiversity Welcome the foreigner. It's in the Bible.
It depends on how you approach them. Making appropriate small talk won't hurt. Making derogatory comments might get you caught up in sexual harassment. You won't get fired for small talk.
I've been subscribed to your channel for a while but it's only now that I take the time to watch some of your videos and I have to say that I absolutely love your content and how Jesus is shining through both of you! Stay blessed
This video is way to relatable to my life... you hit those tips on. the. HEAD.
I love your comment about finding your worth in God. From my experiences, I believe you are right, women believe they aren't complete, that marriage is when their grown up life actually starts. If you don't find that purpose and fill that void with God from the beginning, then you can set yourself up for stress in marriage. Explore God and the world around you while you are in the season of singleness.
A woman who excludes men based on height is the very definition of SUPERFICIAL.
William Thompson meh. It’s a preference, everyone has one.
Ramsay Family Exactly! I find short guys very attractive, but that doesn't mean that i’d snub a tall guy. It's not really a looks thing for me, it's just that short guys tend to have a lot of confidence, and it takes courage to ask out a girl that's taller than they are. Both of which are attractive qualities in my eyes. I love my short husband! :D
@@ramsayfamily9950 I only go for chicks with big boobs and no brain. Am I superficial or is that a preference?
What about men who exclude women based on height? Lots of guys want to be taller than their girlfriend, so they reject tall girls.
@@sundownsahara Lots of guys PREFER certain heights but they dont exclude other women based on height.
Thank you so much for this video! So inspiring, heart warming and heart soothing in many ways!
Oh yay!! That makes me so happy!
I really love your channel! I look forward to all of your videos and am grateful for you and James's insight! :)
In almost 40 years of being a Christian, not one church Ive attended had single men to date. There were plenty of married people, single women, teenagers, widows, toddlers. The one group missing was single men. None. No one. Zero. And strangely, not one pastor seemed to notice or care.
Same. I'm almost 29 and I see the same problem. Only single men I see in churches or catholic communities are teenagers and in their early 20.
@@annakarina8417 Its of epidemic proportions yet no pastors nor ministries are intentionally reaching men.
31.
Single.
Man.
Christian.
Church goer.
We exist.
Idk where you are, but most Chinese-American churches have the exact opposite problem, at least up until around age 40. From youth group past my young adult fellowship up to the regular adult fellowship there has always been way more single men than women. I remember one of my friends going to 4 different proms when I was in youth group because she was the only girl (compaired to like 5 or 6 guys) that was not a lot younger. In the young families group at my church, there are several single men even though they are fairly good looking, successful in their careers and own homes (which is saying something considering we live in the SF Bay area). There is only one single girl there and I have a feeling that she is either asexual or in the closet. She is beautiful, musically talented and loves anime. Pretty much every guy in my church has asked her out at some point and she has turned them all down.
Man. Where's that church? I'm a single young Christian man, and I'm living in a single-Christian-woman desert.
I feel sorry for guys most days. Women can be SO mean towards guys. I'm a woman myself. Do you know how much courage it takes to approach a decent looking girl? Especially if the guy is kinda shy? Girl, don't be mean! There are nice ways to get the "I'm not intetested" message across. Stay humble, stay sweet and always be respectful. This works well for me! And yes, a girl is allowed to show interest and make a move first. Although I'm an outgoing and approachable person I love chatting up the shy guys. Even short guys. Those are the hidden gems!
What the??! I have had the OPPOSITE experience! I've been abused and insulted and ASSAULTED by a lot of guys! And I'm not even ugly! And no my personality doesn't suck either!
I like what they mentioned about both people pursuing each other. I really have been miserable doing all the chasing.
Love this, love you two 😊. Great advice 🙏
We don’t ask you out because we don’t like getting rejected
Right??
It takes time and dedication to really assess if she's into you. And then you go in to ask her and she's like "nah, we're just friends." Like what the actual f***.
@@SCRaetz that sucks bad...
“Yep. Still can’t play guitar” 😂
Logan Tyndall what's your favourite instrument 😂 aha and how are you
Seen this comment right when he said it 😂
So much love for the both of you. Thank you for this fresh perspective Tiffany
🤗🤗🤗
Hey!! I loved this, you both have such lovely and honest advice. Huge help!! Plus incredibly funny haha. Please make more videos, and God bless your journey together :)
I think my standards are too low, like really low. Due to my intensely horrible self esteem that I’m working through with Christ daily. I’ve been in abusive relationships and had my heartbroken so many times. I’ve put myself out there every time and I know God is here with me and appreciate your wonderful wisdom Tiff thank you!! Xox
There's no such thing called standards it's all about want you want and what you don't want. so don't think that you're lesser than anyone.
I would like to add that no one wants to ask out someone who seems gossipy and judgmental. Most people are going to be nervous doing anything that might be likely to be easily misunderstood, like asking a stranger out for a cup of coffee, getting rejected, and then getting his reputation at church ruined by a vindictive, judgmental, gossipy woman who got upset at him simply because she thought that his approach was “lame” (I.E.: he’s not a pick-up artist, he’s just a normal person, so he is not going to be as smooth as an actor in a romantic comedy, so cut him some slack for being socially awkward.). Besides, why would anyone want to get into a relationship with an overly critical person who trash-talks about her friends behind their back, instead of practicing the mature and biblical conflict resolution approach of actually telling someone to their face, preferably in private, what is upsetting you, and then talking it out as Jesus commanded (Matthew 18:15)? If you are bad with your relationships with your friends, then no one wants to get into a romantic relationship with you, as most men probably assume that if you treat your friends badly, then that’s how you are going to treat him. Your character, and the way that you treat the people around you (including the ugly and “uncool”, unpopular people), is a reflection of who you are, and other people notice.
PS: constantly talking about how “sinful” other people are does not make you seem pure; most people will assume that if you are always belittling other people then you are either: (a) trying to live down a bad reputation; or, (b) you are just an insecure slanderer who claws down people who you are jealous of (instead of trying to improve yourself), and that sooner or later you will be talking down to him like that. No one likes a person with a critical spirit.
PPS: if a guy DOES ask you out, and you are not interested, just give him a polite, “Sorry, but I don’t see you that way. Let’s just be friends”. Don’t try to be subtle or indirect, as a “maybe” is going to be interpreted as him as “you should come back later and try harder”, and giving him false hope and leading him on means that he is going to keep persisting until he frustrates you to the point that you blow up at him and publicly embarrass the both of you (now no one wants to ask you out, as you seem like he mean one). Guys do NOT understand “hints”, so if you don’t like him in that way, be a woman of your word and just calmly let him know that you are not interested. Men prefer directness and honesty over trying to save their feelings (as long as you are not brutally honest - don’t say that you are not interested because he is hideous.).
One other thing that I have noticed is that many girls seem to get nervous around guys, and don’t seem to know what to say (some ever run away when a guy tries to introduce himself!). Obviously if you cannot hold a conversation with someone, then you cannot have a relationship with that person (and silence can be misinterpreted as a lack of interest, or just being rude).
Strongly disagree with the idea that a girl should drop a truth bomb like "I don't see you like that, let's just be friends".... maybe that would be a good option in private, but certainly not in ant social situation.
Some guys can't take Hints.... Some can.
Start with a hint, and escalate the rejection if it doesn't work.
Beat case scenario.., simply "be busy" the night if the proposed date... and don't suggest an alternative date. A guy with any social sense will pick up on your lack of enthusiasm back off.
If that doesn't work, then would be the time to drop the " I'm not attracted to you bomb".
True. Asking someone out who is always judgmental is like asking to be a doormat for her/him.
This was so good! So helpful! Just what I needed to hear! :)
I have seen a lot of Christian videos about dating and this is the best one out there yet! Kudos! 👏🏼
Great advice but I'm 59 & most guys at my age neglect their appearance & claim they're too set in their ways!
I feel often times God forgot me, that I need that God fearing gentleman!
If I'm seeking, surely his seeking me as well??
I’m in the same boat.
Notice how she took ZERO accountability for being single at 59. Girl you missed the boat, are you that clueless? 59 and you act like a child