THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM | Evolution

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2018
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ความคิดเห็น • 10K

  • @damonvasquez8337
    @damonvasquez8337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7748

    I tried to make a human. They just snapped their necks and used them as grappling hooks and evolved from there...

  • @Endilia
    @Endilia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3613

    "Wait I got an idea"
    The last words you want to hear Mark say

    • @Alpha-cr7pu
      @Alpha-cr7pu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Endilia I know, when I heard him say that I was just like “Mark, No, Please, You’re Gonna Kill Us, DON’T DO IT!!!”

    • @nyxblackwood9045
      @nyxblackwood9045 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I saw him say that as I read your comment. XD

    • @DemonBoy-zs5hk
      @DemonBoy-zs5hk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ikr

    • @mothboy68
      @mothboy68 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mark’s equivalent to “Hold my beer”

    • @emperorcat5468
      @emperorcat5468 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ok

  • @piperroe243
    @piperroe243 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3539

    In this episode, Mark forgets that creatures move best when they have *knees*

    • @MintyMan_
      @MintyMan_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +303

      Who needs knees when you have the friends you made along the way?

    • @mitoroskokoros589
      @mitoroskokoros589 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@MintyMan_ Mark's creations

    • @blurry200
      @blurry200 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@mitoroskokoros589 life’s creations

    • @joshuatremper5026
      @joshuatremper5026 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      He's god. So he created us with this game

    • @toastytea6253
      @toastytea6253 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Today on markiplier, we learned that spiders shoot babies from that privates like a shotgun

  • @finnfarrell8069
    @finnfarrell8069 3 ปีที่แล้ว +397

    Ironically he made chica into a massive meaty spring that was perfect for tumbling down the stairs

    • @humanbean4037
      @humanbean4037 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      This made me laugh so hard

  • @dailypositivity6659
    @dailypositivity6659 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5359

    I'd never thought I'd hear a sex lesson of spiders explained so wrong and so vivid

    • @meadowrose2702
      @meadowrose2702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      XD

    • @creamncheese7761
      @creamncheese7761 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      Lol, I love it. It was the best (oddest) sex ed class ive ever had XD

    • @lukeyboy5001
      @lukeyboy5001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      You mean it was right and cool

    • @randomiction5429
      @randomiction5429 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      lil kev You mean his A$$ is correct

    • @31gh7_p4g3s
      @31gh7_p4g3s 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      What?

  • @MT168AFC
    @MT168AFC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4345

    I love how he says "i dont think spiders lay eggs" and then 1 year later... a spider lays eggs in his vr headset before recording fnaf vr

    • @YesItsbee
      @YesItsbee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +446

      God made him learn the hard way

    • @toomanydum4084
      @toomanydum4084 3 ปีที่แล้ว +209

      'scuse me w h a t

    • @Poketdmpro
      @Poketdmpro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      *VR, AR was special delivery

    • @genuineplayer5677
      @genuineplayer5677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      escuse me what the fuck

    • @Wildcat144
      @Wildcat144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Thanks. I hate it.

  • @harleyspeedthrust4013
    @harleyspeedthrust4013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    At 17:00 they're literally learning how to exploit a glitch in the game for their own purposes. That's pretty sick when you think about it, they're escaping the matrix

  • @ardenlyn0817
    @ardenlyn0817 3 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    “It’s Dark Chica.”
    Looks like Dark forgot to feed her again. Gotta set up a feeding schedule, dude!

    • @B0r3Dude
      @B0r3Dude 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      "CHICA MAAAAD"

    • @joshuatremper5026
      @joshuatremper5026 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She stock still

  • @lordfarquuad207
    @lordfarquuad207 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10003

    If Mark was god, we all would be equally blessed and terrified for our lives. *Especially when he says he has an idea.*

    • @mrsmarlowe
      @mrsmarlowe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +298

      oh god
      Oh god
      OH GOD
      *OH GOD*
      *OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH GGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD*
      *mark has a idea*

    • @youdontknowme8129
      @youdontknowme8129 4 ปีที่แล้ว +126

      Soooooo the same as religion now.

    • @animeedits6187
      @animeedits6187 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      HE IS GOD

    • @firebreaker9325
      @firebreaker9325 4 ปีที่แล้ว +109

      @@mrsmarlowe if mark was leader and he said he had an idea: I'm leaving planet earth

    • @noleary9924
      @noleary9924 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      he mde pretty succesfull ´humans´ tho

  • @movedtocupowarriors4205
    @movedtocupowarriors4205 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2039

    "Oh he's doing leg raises-" **Flings out of existence** "Where did you go?"

    • @joogiewatkins1519
      @joogiewatkins1519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I love that part.

    • @unkn0wnf0revah56
      @unkn0wnf0revah56 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      4:30 so i can remember this

    • @MightyMageGames
      @MightyMageGames 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I Read This Exactly As It Happened And Made It Even More Funny.

  • @mackers4897
    @mackers4897 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    4:30 He actually looks like a father just watching his kids with a beer, "Where did you go?" 😆

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was thinking that through the entire video lmfao

    • @hush3956
      @hush3956 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Cigarette mums

  • @FlashDrive356
    @FlashDrive356 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    6:42 that what a good bowl of Mac and cheese sounds like

  • @Playopedia
    @Playopedia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1353

    How my biology teacher tells me how life evolves: **breakdancing seizure dog**

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Where do I find this game?

    • @Playopedia
      @Playopedia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@za0n282 I don't know

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@za0n282 check desc lol

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@za0n282 oh it’s called evolution and is a mobile game but for com0ut4r I wouldn’t know

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mattiescott1615 the video description? I have looked there, and I cant seem to find it.

  • @vel.x9751
    @vel.x9751 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2931

    Darkiplier:Come here girl
    Dark chica: *has glitchy seizure on the ground*

    • @temarinara77
      @temarinara77 5 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Dark’s just watching his dog Spaz out

    • @samwilliams9133
      @samwilliams9133 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Darktail: (silently watching through a window that was for some reason placed near a mirror) =)

    • @dusk912
      @dusk912 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this

    • @anonymooselsb2968
      @anonymooselsb2968 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      666 like oh dear

    • @ScuttleBugReal
      @ScuttleBugReal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      hmmm...
      I have a name for dark chica!
      Glitcha!

  • @diabeetustype6884
    @diabeetustype6884 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    What if you left open a tab with this running for years and then you come back to the tab and find that they have become so efficient at running that they are moving at light-speed

  • @JugularJohn
    @JugularJohn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +321

    Shadow; IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    Kars: NO. IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    ???: amateurs
    Kars and Shadow: WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK?!
    Markiplier: *A M A T U R S*

    • @DR_WALLSTREET
      @DR_WALLSTREET 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      IS THAT A JOJO REFERENCE?

    • @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284
      @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Was that the bite of 87??

    • @DragoMations
      @DragoMations 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      amaturs

    • @nonamegaming5298
      @nonamegaming5298 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      NO WAY!!!!!!!! IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE? JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME! JOSUKE IS SO BADASS! ORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORA MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO OH YOU’RE APPROACHING ME BUT IT WAS ME DIO

    • @JugularJohn
      @JugularJohn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nonamegaming5298 🚪 here’s the door. Now leave

  • @thesun7563
    @thesun7563 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1358

    “This is a FAMILY friendly channel” Goes to talk about sex standing up,

    • @_username
      @_username 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      since when this become a family friendly channel ;D

    • @joogiewatkins1519
      @joogiewatkins1519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @Joshua Pryor And how spider sex "works"

    • @iamerror6546
      @iamerror6546 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      this is how you make a family, okay?

    • @Grandmas567
      @Grandmas567 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      and how the mama and papa spider going at it xD

    • @tweenytwinkies
      @tweenytwinkies 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well thats how you make a family in the first place isnt it? So nothing truly is innocent

  • @lizacooperider9545
    @lizacooperider9545 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1653

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    "Guys it's Cocktober"

    • @SoulSif
      @SoulSif 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      *Yes.*

    • @thedemoninyourcloset.
      @thedemoninyourcloset. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      *Proceeds to give spider sex-ed class*

    • @kiwichan456
      @kiwichan456 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I mean it *IS* right after No Nut November.

    • @teresakelley4057
      @teresakelley4057 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I was the 666th like now it really is cocktober

    • @ahorse7248
      @ahorse7248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@teresakelley4057 well I was the 667th like

  • @favzi36
    @favzi36 3 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    26:10 "Father, I crave cheddar"

  • @Avogadr0
    @Avogadr0 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    The Ultimate Life-from uses all the capabilities of the others. But this needs more power. We need a super Aja.

  • @spencer8204
    @spencer8204 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1266

    I like how he just sits back in his chair all comfy-like, sipping on his drink as he watches his hellish children learn to evolve

    • @myak5754
      @myak5754 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's Mark for ya

  • @tomcosta3849
    @tomcosta3849 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1151

    “Spiders give birth like a shotgun blast into the nearest face.”
    -Mark Fischbach 2018

    • @sunnyglowvt
      @sunnyglowvt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Tom Costa Education from Markiplier is the best.

    • @old_pork
      @old_pork 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I think that's what he meant when he said "Bizarre versions of porn"

    • @xeneth531
      @xeneth531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That’s Mark’s name?

    • @yert5679
      @yert5679 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Aiden D mark edward fischbach

    • @killerkirby366
      @killerkirby366 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Svenger Mc. Spazzy yeah it's a i tire classification of subspecies terhes multiple of them

  • @carterdirksen646
    @carterdirksen646 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    When he was trying to get them to climb I imagined 100’s of dogs just falling down stairs

  • @ariesthapa2932
    @ariesthapa2932 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    4:30
    This sounds like he’s actually in a irl place talking to people

  • @lymphaticjeopardy
    @lymphaticjeopardy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +719

    "I like being stable dad."
    I've never been so disturbed by a seemingly innocuous phrase in my whole life

    • @naride1093
      @naride1093 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      read as Stable Dad at first

  • @sleepy_clover7361
    @sleepy_clover7361 4 ปีที่แล้ว +798

    "I'm pretty sure when a daddy spider- a *d a d d y s p i d e r* -"

    • @Microwave2410
      @Microwave2410 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      F A T H E R A R A C H N I D

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Microwave2410 A N I M A L O F T H E A R A C N I D F A M I L L Y W I T H A F A T H E R L Y R O L E

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Fnafronpa and The tattletail craft daddy long legs is in the huntsman family

    • @zer0rebel4
      @zer0rebel4 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@elanrg and? Cellar spiders are a part of the Arachnida class. Theyre technically not fully spiders, but theyre arachnids

    • @johnrybinski6237
      @johnrybinski6237 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@zer0rebel4 by that logic so are Scorpions

  • @dominicwhite8749
    @dominicwhite8749 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    mark: THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM.
    me: is that a JOJO REFERENCE?!!??!!!?!!!?

  • @kafi9556
    @kafi9556 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Did no one notice at 15:43 that there was a dog that launched itself into the stratosphere as fast as light?

  • @johncarter1739
    @johncarter1739 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1306

    Mark: ...I'm not crazy! Everyone knows this. Everyone knows..."
    *Mean while*
    The spiders: *synchronized seizure*

  • @HexIsme
    @HexIsme 5 ปีที่แล้ว +523

    Mark may not drink alcohol any more but he does a damn good impression of being drunk.

    • @Kixal07
      @Kixal07 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol

    • @D-1337
      @D-1337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      IKR

    • @SlothinAintEasy
      @SlothinAintEasy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Mark's drunk on life.

    • @Vellicya
      @Vellicya 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      the truth makes me cant stop laughing

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh I forgot he can't drink. I legitimately thought he had a beer in his hand the entire time.

  • @ThatOneFry2005
    @ThatOneFry2005 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The fact that Mark made the damn
    *sound effect*
    It was something I didn’t know would exist, and I didn’t need, and had the same horrific effect and experience as Furry Squad

  • @reznorstuckrath4191
    @reznorstuckrath4191 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Mark describing how baby spiders are made is god damn hilarious.

  • @perfectly-finefinerson9437
    @perfectly-finefinerson9437 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1735

    "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform."
    No wonder why Kars eventually stopped thinking.

    • @LeWulfy
      @LeWulfy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      It looks like daddy long legs
      bro

    • @eidolomere
      @eidolomere 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Have you seen my turtle?

    • @kehoff26
      @kehoff26 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I thought Shadow was the Ultimate Lifeform

    • @lickablegrass
      @lickablegrass 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ah yes

    • @perfectly-finefinerson9437
      @perfectly-finefinerson9437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@eidolomere aren't YOU the turtle?

  • @ashthetrash6457
    @ashthetrash6457 5 ปีที่แล้ว +713

    “Chica and her ill-begotten spawn” is probably the best phrase I’ve ever heard

  • @morosexualidiot
    @morosexualidiot ปีที่แล้ว +5

    marks speech on cocktober is the funniest thing ever

  • @austinclark3495
    @austinclark3495 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    27:10 attack on titan theme drowns out all else.

    • @jakioki
      @jakioki 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I searched for this comment

  • @Suophu
    @Suophu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +701

    "It's like just watching your children just flop around in a yard"
    Hang on, I don't think that's how you do it but ok

    • @alyssasalmon4883
      @alyssasalmon4883 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      that's totally what happens, my children love doing it after staring at RGB strobe lights!

    • @okdean7953
      @okdean7953 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      My kid has gills and they do the same

    • @ethanlocke3604
      @ethanlocke3604 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      There’s nothing wrong with a nice yard flopping every now and again

    • @red_pixel_apple58
      @red_pixel_apple58 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I wanna like but I can't, I'm sorry

    • @mdsullivan100
      @mdsullivan100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      seizures are funny unless you have had one Which i have

  • @icemagiciangh3268
    @icemagiciangh3268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +433

    “They’re fcking. Come on guys this is a *family channel.”*
    You um, you sure, Mark?

    • @skyblaze7160
      @skyblaze7160 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Mark: "This is a family channel"
      *Literally a few minutes later*
      Mark: "The daddy spider's penis gets erect-"

    • @galactisgd431
      @galactisgd431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gallifreyan_Hunter: (memes)
      me: C H I N A

    • @deannawheeler2365
      @deannawheeler2365 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      not really, moving away from "family" content.

    • @willowdrakon
      @willowdrakon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Deep space waifu was the most family friendly one so far

    • @guidojacobs2002
      @guidojacobs2002 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      About 69% sure it's family friendly.

  • @pandasplayhouse9143
    @pandasplayhouse9143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    About ten minutes later: *proceeds to explain the birds and the bees but in spider form*

  • @patrickhoffman2806
    @patrickhoffman2806 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Mark: “it’s best to make things as simply as possible”
    Also mark: try’s to create a human

  • @wickermind6668
    @wickermind6668 5 ปีที่แล้ว +668

    what would you do if you were walking in a forest, and a random "A" shaped monster started aggressively break dancing towards you?

    • @bobtheglob4805
      @bobtheglob4805 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Wickermind probs help it or something.

    • @rescuerex7031
      @rescuerex7031 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Probably Run like that A monster

    • @baato870
      @baato870 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Date it

    • @bmann7564
      @bmann7564 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Video footage

    • @erinhastie8548
      @erinhastie8548 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      run

  • @tameronica
    @tameronica 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1763

    “The Ultimate Life form.”
    **Angry Kars noises**

  • @narratorfox6646
    @narratorfox6646 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Chica relationship with mark reminds me of the dog relationship with her dad from Fullmetal Alchemist
    Edit: I am not talking about the real life Chica

    • @rogue6827
      @rogue6827 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      the memories you just brought back are killing me

  • @ManicMama.
    @ManicMama. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ‘It’s like putting your kids outside for a while, watching them flop around until they learn to walk’ yup that’s exactly how i taught my 3 kids to walk lol

  • @michaelhussey717
    @michaelhussey717 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3526

    Small youtubers: "says a single bad word"
    TH-cam: Demonatized and age restricted.
    Markiplier: "talks about sex and penises and vagina's"
    TH-cam: You're all good bro 👍

    • @devinward461
      @devinward461 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

      Who do you think gets yt more ad money

    • @catchamp1880
      @catchamp1880 5 ปีที่แล้ว +279

      PewDiePie: says heck
      *D E M O N I T I Z E D*

    • @jader2357
      @jader2357 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@catchamp1880 exactly.... Jack also seems to have the same luxury as Mark though.....

    • @ironicugandan5826
      @ironicugandan5826 5 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      Actually the game grumps did something interesting. Dan said fuck almost asap on a episode and Arin said "You can't swear in the first 10 seconds of a video! Your gonna get us demonatized" or something to that extent.

    • @alyssa7867
      @alyssa7867 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Mark is being educational.

  • @DavrenHelsmere
    @DavrenHelsmere 4 ปีที่แล้ว +644

    Don't feel the bad for the dog in the climbing part. That's not Chica, that's CH-1C-α, a robot design after her. She doesn't feel pain and is always happy.
    At least, those who she let's live think that.

    • @userofusername4981
      @userofusername4981 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What was that last sentence?

    • @nopebutdope5963
      @nopebutdope5963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      user of username it was a warning ⚠️ DÆRK ÇHÏKÆ ÏŠ ÇØMÏÑG

    • @dominique2911
      @dominique2911 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'm sure she and X Æ A-12 would be good friends if they met

    • @pebbles3609
      @pebbles3609 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@dominique2911 yeah they definitely would

    • @carbon1642
      @carbon1642 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      the typo at the end where you added an apostrophe to "lets" is so bothersome.
      it's those tiny little mistakes that bother me the most.

  • @daniellewilson8527
    @daniellewilson8527 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    25:54 Mark makes MusicMan

  • @christopherplaysviolin3082
    @christopherplaysviolin3082 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The look of pure joy that turned into disgust in the blink of an eye when he noticed what the human like creatures were doing on the floor

  • @ashwar9800
    @ashwar9800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +477

    11:20 I just see a bunch of graceful backflipping cows

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      graceful

    • @Crazy-eu1wm
      @Crazy-eu1wm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yep, it is the most beautiful sight ever.

    • @sodagaming8676
      @sodagaming8676 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I see a bunch of cows having their necks snapped over and over as they are tumbling down

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@sodagaming8676 still graceful :P

    • @lorrainewinsor7980
      @lorrainewinsor7980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well they can jump too

  • @chasenelson9660
    @chasenelson9660 4 ปีที่แล้ว +553

    “This is a Family friendly channel”
    Proceeds to tell how the spider life cycle works

    • @ignacioperalta6784
      @ignacioperalta6784 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      the real one doesnt get any better...

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Fun Fact: spiders feel pain and their skeletons are on the outside of their bodies...

    • @smirkfanta5535
      @smirkfanta5535 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@messyalien5164 yes that's called an exoskeleton

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@smirkfanta5535 yeah, thanks for telling me something that I just explained. They are also vulnerable to predators when they shed there exoskeleton until it hardens
      But thanks for saying that. forgot to say what it was called

    • @galladegamerletsplays
      @galladegamerletsplays 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      very correctly

  • @Hasde_dfs
    @Hasde_dfs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    5:54 the best of the last generation 🤣🤣

  • @martinfilms1641
    @martinfilms1641 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is by far the most explicit Markiplier video I have watched.

  • @katsukibakugan9490
    @katsukibakugan9490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1806

    I tried making a cat.
    I broke the game.
    Cats are apparently perfect lifeforms.

    • @hienduongvan8454
      @hienduongvan8454 5 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      therefore, Kars = cat

    • @Official_NotNeo
      @Official_NotNeo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      You right

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Shaggy is the perfect lifeform to be correct...

    • @Crazy-qi1gw
      @Crazy-qi1gw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@5AMUR-41 You've ruined the joke.

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@Crazy-qi1gw, good

  • @brendan9734
    @brendan9734 5 ปีที่แล้ว +315

    Why does everyone put muscles inside of triangles?
    *TRIANGLES CAN’T BEND*

    • @Jester_Jingles
      @Jester_Jingles 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Brendan rigggggghhhhhtttt

    • @NXE212
      @NXE212 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      then why don't you split the triangle 3 joint into more joint

    • @peakeythebard1454
      @peakeythebard1454 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They can if you try hard enough

    • @Actinide5013
      @Actinide5013 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      and then jojo characters

    • @primate6854
      @primate6854 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      that's where you're wrong kiddo

  • @PHPFlips
    @PHPFlips ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “That’s not walking! That’s flopping on your ass!”
    *Lmfao* 💀

  • @PiydTH
    @PiydTH 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    *Eventually,*
    *Mark Has Stopped Thinking*

  • @braxtonsambrano5241
    @braxtonsambrano5241 4 ปีที่แล้ว +537

    Life form: *is triangle*
    Mark: “this is LIFE!”

    • @Firedragon-li5nb
      @Firedragon-li5nb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      noice = yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

    • @pein4332
      @pein4332 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      _Illuminati confirmed_

    • @dudemp4
      @dudemp4 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ITS AN *A*

  • @magpakilos
    @magpakilos 5 ปีที่แล้ว +777

    Mark: "I have an idea!"
    Me: oh no
    My mom: oh no
    World: oh no

  • @garrysucks4190
    @garrysucks4190 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The true ultimate life form consists of four joints, two bones, and a muscle (the key is to not connect the two bones with one joint).
    Prepare to watch those bizarre creatures fly like no tomorrow.

  • @v3es473
    @v3es473 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's 3 am and I am looking at a grown man laughing at a thing that looks like a bridge with muscles trying to run.

  • @silvertail7131
    @silvertail7131 5 ปีที่แล้ว +435

    AKA the episode where markiplier throws his dog down the stairs a few hundred times till the poor pooch resorts to dark magic

  • @serenitymartel6683
    @serenitymartel6683 5 ปีที่แล้ว +360

    Mark at 5:24 "this is a family friendly channel" Mark at 18:58 explaining how sex works

  • @randomguyontheinternet9107
    @randomguyontheinternet9107 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Wait, I got an idea"
    *final words before disaster*

  • @TheMultiGamerOfficial
    @TheMultiGamerOfficial 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    12:35
    Man, this new zodiac sign is kinda dope.

  • @conjureslade7149
    @conjureslade7149 5 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    When a mommy Dracula and a daddy Dracula love eachother very much, they do the monster mash.

    • @SpaceCadetSec
      @SpaceCadetSec 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      And oh my, it was a very good bash

    • @epsilonthedragon1249
      @epsilonthedragon1249 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It went on in a flash.

    • @coreythepeanut
      @coreythepeanut 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh, It was a mash

    • @Godzilla691138MW3
      @Godzilla691138MW3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      God dammnit...

    • @conjureslade7149
      @conjureslade7149 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      In a year or so, I will start a Twitch channel, with the same name as this profile, streaming games until I have enough money to get a GOP to go air soft bids on youtube.

  • @mattp.2282
    @mattp.2282 5 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    "Bizarre versions of porn"
    I am curious but I kinda don't want to ask

  • @KatieLeDerp
    @KatieLeDerp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just imagine this how he talks to some kids. He just watches kids on a trampoline with a beer in hand. One of the kids shoots into the air and he's just like "WHERE DID YOU GO?!"

  • @TalesofDrCreepYPasta
    @TalesofDrCreepYPasta 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Fun Fact:the reason the creatures walk so weird is that the AI controlling them doesn't know what walking looks like,so it just goes with whatever works.

  • @brookebondrozelle
    @brookebondrozelle 5 ปีที่แล้ว +706

    I wonder how confused Chica was hearing her name so many times

    • @alonsospassion924
      @alonsospassion924 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Brooke Rozelle she’s usually not with him but sometimes lays by him while he plays

    • @brookebondrozelle
      @brookebondrozelle 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Alonso's Passion she’s all knowing

    • @queeniethequeenbee3701
      @queeniethequeenbee3701 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Pretty sure she can hear him, she's a DOG.

    • @heshtov5367
      @heshtov5367 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Well dogs have better hearing than humans

    • @mackapacka2695
      @mackapacka2695 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      mark: chica, what are you doing
      chica: he has gone crazy again

  • @captainonomatopoeia
    @captainonomatopoeia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +298

    Markiplier creates life.
    Life: wHy hAvE yOu FoRsAkEn Me MaStEr

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      *Mark*: *creates life*
      Life: *exists in perpetual agony*
      *Mark*: *drinks Monster*

    • @hamlunchable
      @hamlunchable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Phoebe5448 iM dRiNkInG a MoNsTeR rIgHt NoW

    • @gryphonkingbros847
      @gryphonkingbros847 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Markiplier Makes: Ded peepos

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      WHHHHOOOAAAAA!!! SPOOPY@@hamlunchable

    • @vr0c131
      @vr0c131 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      WhY yOu TaLk LiKe GaMzEe MaKaRa

  • @SpeedyTurtle975
    @SpeedyTurtle975 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Now I'm just imagining zombies looking like this with a Markiplier face causing an apocalypse and repeatedly say Hello Everybody My Name Is Markiplier menacingly

  • @xiao7304
    @xiao7304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dog 1: how do we get down the stairs?
    Dog 2: hmm.....I have an idea 11:12

  • @organmann4821
    @organmann4821 5 ปีที่แล้ว +352

    That. Is *not.* how spiders work.
    Wait no.
    *You are exactly right.*

    • @calyxman
      @calyxman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      *loads SPAS-12*
      *tries to aim at Poison Zombie*
      *_IT'S A FUCKING SPIDER WAIT NO_*
      *baby spiders come out of shotgun and cover the poison zombie*
      nice

    • @cooldude5397
      @cooldude5397 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      motato_potato ART/GAMES I agree

    • @organmann4821
      @organmann4821 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      HOLY CRAP, HOW DID *I* GEY SO MANY LIKES-OFF OF A SPIDER COMMENT NO LESS?!?!
      *i feel blessed*

  • @danmcmaster4561
    @danmcmaster4561 5 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    I could tell from the thumbnail this was going to be either:
    A, The fall and rebirth of Markiplier into an ultra powerful crab god!
    B, a funny let's play
    Or C, A severely stupid game
    Looks like all 3 were right

    • @kevbri11
      @kevbri11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      a game that progressively grows smarter = stupid
      gottem

  • @MisplacedPotassium
    @MisplacedPotassium 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “Baby spiders in your face!”
    *fnaf vr flashbacks*

  • @RealMuromets
    @RealMuromets 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “Forever go away”
    Ad: *sup*

  • @sionijiminian9874
    @sionijiminian9874 5 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    Mark says "this is supposed to be a child friendly stream" he then discloses how he believes spiders mate vividly. What
    wholesome content :)

    • @manbuckett3460
      @manbuckett3460 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Daddy long legs have penises which technically would make them different than other spiders. Which might make them not a spider

    • @brothersandsistersofvalhalla
      @brothersandsistersofvalhalla 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Most female spiders eat the male to reproduce. Eat their entire body.

    • @SurprisinglyDeep
      @SurprisinglyDeep 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Also he discusses how the streamer are "sick f***s" for wanting a hamster to f**k an elephant 😂

    • @Revenent666
      @Revenent666 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's because he's full of shit.

    • @maya.5534
      @maya.5534 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dont forget cocktober

  • @ee3171
    @ee3171 4 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    2018:Mark: I don't think spiders lay eggs.
    2019:Mark:There's a spider laying eggs in my vr headset!!

    • @agonyghoul488
      @agonyghoul488 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I breed spiders I can confirm they lay eggs XD

    • @YarnyKate
      @YarnyKate 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Growth!

    • @veragevann
      @veragevann 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      character development

    • @hrblock11
      @hrblock11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Burn the headset i have arachnophobia

    • @fluttershy1529
      @fluttershy1529 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jerry Cook nu

  • @arjunrao11
    @arjunrao11 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    MARK BECAME KARS FROM BATTLE TENDENCY

  • @Armgoth
    @Armgoth ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Goddam what a nightmare material your description of spider reproduction was.

  • @ashleyjohnson9651
    @ashleyjohnson9651 5 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    You've created the best and most terrifying thing known to man
    a dog with a 12 foot vertical leap

  • @kat-kalamity
    @kat-kalamity 5 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    I can relate to Chica freezing under pressure on a spiritual level.

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I froze once. When a girl was spinning a 1 metre rusty metal pole like a batton and let go. It flew at me like a javelin. Hit me directly on the right eye socket. I could have been half blind if it weren't for the pure luck of the direct hit

    • @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou
      @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same

    • @kat-kalamity
      @kat-kalamity 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@InsomniacStephens141 OH DAMN I'M GLAD U OK HOMIE.
      (Also who the heck just chucks poles at people wtf?)

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kat-kalamity it was an accident at a playgroup when I was much younger, but if you imagine the hollow inside of the pole, it hit me so my eye was within the hollow part. Luckiest I could have been

  • @CloudsGirl7
    @CloudsGirl7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Well, that's not walking, that's flopping on your ass!"
    - Markiplier, and probably also someone being hyper-critical of a baby

  • @unknownunknown6500
    @unknownunknown6500 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was expecting to see a man with arm blades and wings use a life energy

  • @epicgamer-kh7qg
    @epicgamer-kh7qg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    this is an exact recreation of what god did when he was creating us

    • @Bluzigo
      @Bluzigo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

    • @hiddendraco2607
      @hiddendraco2607 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Are you telling me Markiplier is god? If so I'm totally on board

    • @Engieman909
      @Engieman909 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hiddendraco2607 what does that make Bob, Wade, and Shaun?

    • @n-s-a7113
      @n-s-a7113 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Engieman909 arch angles

    • @rubygamer21
      @rubygamer21 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@danghd2 nonono ANGLES not angels

  • @videodays6652
    @videodays6652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    *sees the beginning of the game*
    Me: Oh that’s so cool!
    *sees final form*
    Me: Oh GOD that is horrifying…

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I never thought I would laugh so hard at 50 stick figure dogs falling down an endless flight of stairs set to a jubilant twangy soundtrack.

  • @randomcrackhead8627
    @randomcrackhead8627 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Markiplier: this is a family friendly channel
    Also Mark: *explains how babies are made*

  • @the1sonder884
    @the1sonder884 4 ปีที่แล้ว +414

    Sooo... right when he tells his “children” that he hates them and wants them to forever go away, I got a Johnson & Johnson baby ad.😂

  • @DanielSambar
    @DanielSambar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2768

    What’s this? Markiplier is evolving!
    _Oh wait no, he was just stretching._

  • @antoniomelis6743
    @antoniomelis6743 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Never seen so much dogs jump on their faces to go down some stairs

  • @danielo6219
    @danielo6219 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The Roo is so fun to play around with, it either bounces or it becomes *c a r*

  • @memento_00187
    @memento_00187 5 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    19:04
    That moment when Mark starts talking about mommy and daddy spider and your mom walks in

    • @captainbooboosavage6523
      @captainbooboosavage6523 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yep

    • @stardust7129
      @stardust7129 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      he legit sounds like a child who just figured out how the whole thing works XD

    • @nicholasnutquick5141
      @nicholasnutquick5141 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@stardust7129 fam if you've heard children talking about stuff like that, I feel bad for you

  • @takeitback.rightnow8553
    @takeitback.rightnow8553 3 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    "Im pretty sure spiders give live birth"
    *egg sack intensifies*

  • @thegoblin.youknowtheone.7051
    @thegoblin.youknowtheone.7051 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I kept skipping through the spider sex rant and it just kept going. So many times I thought for sure it’d be done

  • @WolfTamerPlayz
    @WolfTamerPlayz หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I can't be the only one who immediately thought of Shadow the Hedgehog.

  • @Kthulhu832
    @Kthulhu832 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    14:43
    Mark's Creation: Shimmies across ground
    Mark: Intense Joy and laughter

  • @snowydoe7514
    @snowydoe7514 5 ปีที่แล้ว +456

    There should be a version of all marks characters, like darkiplier
    But they’re all versions of chica barking at each other with subtitles

    • @skyew5925
      @skyew5925 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      omfg yes.

    • @borisandbendyplushgamers4762
      @borisandbendyplushgamers4762 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      mark...THIS IS MADDNESS

    • @Darkshade_01
      @Darkshade_01 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Or each ego having their own versions of chica, Tim, Tina and all the little cute characters mark created and or named

    • @techdub8243
      @techdub8243 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      we need that in our life imedietly

    • @TheOneandOnlyKrakurnar
      @TheOneandOnlyKrakurnar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes that would be awesome

  • @constellations8572
    @constellations8572 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    2:10 eugenics 101

  • @queenmartha8124
    @queenmartha8124 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The doggoish creation on the stairs reminds me of that video of the doggo rolling off a snowy mountain