what to do when you don't enjoy being a homemaker
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
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I didn't always enjoy being a homemaker, even though I loved my husband, kids, and our home - that kind of sounds crazy but it's actually really common. Discontentment in the home is weird to talk about because people either don't understand or give unhelpful advice. I have a few tips for overcoming discontentment, some that I used in the past, and some that I still have to use when I'm in a rut, I hope they help!
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This was such an encouragement. I am a stay at home to a 20 month old and likely will be home school Mama eventually. People (even some Christians) are SO judgmental. We sacrifice so I can be home raising our son and taking care of the home and cooking meals. People will ask me “what do you do all day” I work way harder now then when I worked in the corporate world - at least now my work is meaningful ❤️
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Love your video. One thing though from a wife of an hvac guy. Please dont cover your thermostat. It has holes in it to flow the air in there to see what temp it needs to be at. If air flow is restricted, it can make your system work harder thus costing you more money. And if the system works harder, it wears out fast. You could just put a frame around it to make it look like art. But i wouldnt cover it. It was a cute picture though!
Great tip!! Yesterday I was actually looking at my thermostat and was thinking about putting a picture over it. But I'm glad I saw this comment. It makes sense.
I would like to add another tip. I also heard you're not supposed to cover your breaker box in case of an emergency....❤
I hate the lazy and what do you do all day comments… when everyone sure as heck knows how much of a handful taking care of young kids is! Especially if you have more difficult kids…
This was a timely video. I’m 10 years into mother hood and I’ve been feeling dragged by it since we added a 4th. Just can’t seem to find my rhythm. Thanks for the pep talk! PS, I tried to cover my thermostat and my HVAC guy said it’s a no no, it can’t sense the temp.
Well done. Well said. From a mother of young adults. A mother who homeschooled. A mother who was ridiculed at times. Ya’ know, the look.
Keep on keeping on. ❤
Are you able to do a pantry tour or long term storage tour? I love to see how others go about it and make shifts in my own home.
I have a peg rack shelf for each of the children to hand rosaries and display the gifts they get at baptism, first communion, and confirmation
I think the mesh basket with handle is a vintage soap holder. You put a piece of bar soap in it and swish it in water, either for washing dishes or other cleaning. That was before we had soap in a squeeze bottle!😂
Man I never would have even thought of that! 😂
I enjoyed being a childless housewife because I practiced slow living and always finished goals and chores as expected. That is not the norm with children. It's gotten difficult with each baby. I honestly have way more help and time than the the average woman, but I'm so used to taking my time. I feel more rushed nowadays.
What bothers me the most is that the cleaning is continuous because no space is ever tidy for long. Crossing things off my list is different. I feel like I'm never done, or I am done, but it's a repeat in a couple hours or so. It's exhausting.
I also have this issue where kids suck out my energy. I originally thought it was just because I didn't have my own yet, or because I was around a large group of children at once. But it's definitely more permanent than that. I wasn't expecting it. It bothers me because I love my children, but I need multiple daily breaks to catch a mental breath.
I recently dropped to part time work to be with my baby more, and I was questioning all my life choices the first month. Your videos have helped me so much in adjusting to this new rhythm. Thank you!!
I loved being a stay at home mom, my kids are grown now and say they loved having me home for them❤️
Hi, loved the video, thanks for being an good example, as a young girl this was really informative
A home doesn't just happen, it needs to be made. ❤
100% agree with every single tip. Motherhood was very difficult at first but just like any other job, there is a learning curve and it gets easier and you get better :)
This is so timely for me. Three littles and I’m STRUGGLING because I just wasn’t taught how to run a home. My mom always worked full-time so thankfully I did have some chores… but it’s a huge struggle. I have no boundaries, few skills, and I stink at properly disciplining my kids. Every day is a struggle and I hate it most of the time, but I come on here for encouragement and to hopefully learn something 🫶🏻 so thank you. I follow a few other people as well and you all have just taught me so much.
this is exactly how I feel...you are not alone mama
In the same boat over here! Some days are hard with 3 kids 4 and under but we will get there eventually.
Keep pushing on. You don’t have to perfect each of those areas just try each day to be a little better. Pickup a new skill and stick with just that for a few months maybe even longer. Be consistent in your disciple. Dwell on something you do currently love and that may be small and it may change each day. As someone who can relate to struggling with motherhood after 10 years I’m astonished as how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve learned. It’s a worthy pursuit and incredibly rewarding when you don’t give up and keep trying to do it well.
Just work on one skill at a time. Don’t try to be excellent at all 15 skills at once or you will get burnt out. Decide what you can let go of for a bit while you focus on your most important skill. I didn’t know how to run a home well and still don’t clean as much as others do BUT you are lucky to have TH-cam to learn some of those kinds of skills from. Take two weeks and focus on one goal then add another once you’ve mastered that one. You will look back in a year and see all the progress you’ve made. Even if it’s only 4 new skills those new skills will make everyday life better.
I remember my wonderful grandma grinding their coffee in an old coffee grinder! They were good old Swedes!
Can you make a video on running the home economy? Or maybe you already have, I’m relatively new here :) if so, could you guide me to the right video? Thank you! I’m so blessed by your channel as a struggling homemaker ❤ Be blessed in the Lord!
Hi! Maybe the "summa donestica" books by Leila Lawler (Sophia institute press) will be of help to you. I didn't read them - only because they are hard to get in my country and english isn't my first language- but I listened to an interview with Mrs. Lawler on her books and they sound amazing. It is a manual on all practical aspects of "housewifery". lol.
God bless you!
*summa domestica
@@o0OAnnamariaO0o thank you so much! Be blessed!
@@o0OAnnamariaO0oThe Summa Domestica has been such a blessing to me.
I find that channels like yours, Farmhouse on Boone etc and listening to Fr. Ripperger have really inspired me on the type of wife and mother I want and should be! You guys have given me guidance, tips, ideas that I didn’t always have growing up. Just want to say thank you for being here for us new and well seasoned moms who are trying their best!
Bless you! This really helped me, I am a care giver for my husband's father who is 90 and now my husband😢, looks like he might have to have part of one foot amputated, some days I feeloverwhelmed even at 66.
I see you. I have my 82 yr old mother and my 26 yr old son that my house. They're not children but still require the time and all the things! There are many of us in between the generations doing it while still doing the 40 hr work week. Just wanted to say hi❤
#1 you look amazing!
#2 I was raised by 2 working parents, my mom was a teacher ànd my dad was the head ground equipment mechanic for a Houston airport .
#3 My dad had cancer after cancer, eventually he passed from the effects of agents orange in Vietnam and my mom passed from breast cancer.
#4 my grandparents showed and taught me the truth in farm life and what it takes to survive.
#5 thank you for being honest and Christianly on your channel it means the world to me.
just wanted to point out that i would test the coffee grinder for lead! you can get lead test strips. you definitely do not want to contaminate your ground coffee with lead, causes serious health issues. but I really hope it doesn't! :) if it does though, I have a stainless steel Burr grinder from ikea- it was 29.99 and works perfectly. easy to wash, crushes the bean and doesn't grind it so full flavor etc
Gives me perspective on some ways we could improve in our house as well as what I have had to learn the past five years with starting a family. I have four kids 4 and under and I started out having never babysat a kid and never cooked a meal from scratch. The only thing I knew going into my marriage was how to clean and how to work multiple jobs (worked two jobs while in high school). I planned on having a career going (very happy I didn’t go in that direction) and so wasn’t prepared for the duties once we started having kids. All your points here are spot on. I pray for clarity on how to become a better home maker because it is hard these days going in without knowledge on how to do things. Thank you for this video! We need more moms out there like you to mentor us new moms so we aren’t trying to figure these things out in the dark!
Don't you need the thermostat exposed to guage the temperature inside the home? Am i wrong about that?
That’s what I thought too. I’m not sure
I’m a 67 yr old Mum of two, Grandma of four in the U.K.. When I had my first son we decided we could manage on my husband’s salary so that I could be a stay at home mum. I’ve never regretted it, but often, OFTEN, felt inferior to the working mums. Listening to you talk it made me wonder why it’s more acceptable to work for someone else, instead of your own family, if it’s possible to do so? In today’s economic climate I realise that it’s not manageable for many, many, families. I’m grateful that we were able to do so. Absolutely love your channel.
I got that same coffee grinder! Love the cover up on thermostat, Question? Are you painting the blue part of kitchen with the green color, if so be so beautiful!! The the Antiques you pick up great deals, Copper is high around here! Pieces are so beautiful!!
As always. great video and timely. I have a toddler and six month old and we just hit a new octave of busy. I've been eating humble pie lately realizing that I am coming up against my growth edge as a mom. So encouraging to see more experienced moms talking about the learning curve. P.S. Your husband's hat tan line is absolutely epic.
Love what you said about learning the skills - 1 at a time. Its true we as women have not been taught and unfortunately have to learn these ourselves. It would be cool to see a video listing out these homemaking skills, it would help me get motivated. Sending lots of love ❤
I Live thrifting..
I like your shopping for Thrifting because with the purpose
So my mother and my family have always been self-employed so proprietors my mother had a general store back in the early 70s. We had a game room in the 80s. We had a few bars. My mother had three restaurants. My grandmother had a restaurant and we kept on with that self-employment I had a bluebell ice cream shop for 16 years And then things happen. My mother took. I am the only girl so I took care of her for years until she passed away in 2002 then my mother-in-law and my father-in-law lost their house from the hurricane and they both took GALE so I took care of my mother-in-law, a couple years ago and she lost her with my father-in-law. He is living with us and we are empty, but my father-in-law has pretty bad dementia and then my husband was diagnosed with cancer so I’ve always took care of somebody and someone pointed that out to me you have always taken care of other people you need to make sure you take care of yourself And it is so true but it is just overwhelming to have two people under the roof. I have to find those good days so a lot of my vegetables and melons and stuff and potatoes onions garlic everything like that and I’ve gotten real good at it, but I can’t really get out the way I used to, because of my husband with his cancer and my father-in-law with his dementia and my father-in-law has three other sons do it my grown boys have three grown boys and they help me more than anything my middle child my garden for me I had some raised beds built out of some metal sheeting that I had and they were pretty big and bulky for me to move so he moved them and he got this guy to come and clean my backyard and it came out beautiful. I just started learning how to weed eat. My husband doesn’t have to do a lot so I will have to learn how to weed now my kids can do it, but I hate to bother them as much as I do because they have their own families I have grandbabies and you know they have young children And so I kind of put it on myself and my son says I’m too hard on myself. I know it really got me close friends said you’re always taking care of somebody like always kind of but that’s the truth. I mean that’s what you do when you married 40 years and your husband took out you have to take care of him with no regrets with no you know I do have to learn a lot of patience because that’s one thing I’m not blessed with and I pray to God all the time to give me patience, I felt like I’ve had some nervous breakdowns but the Lord for strength and I try to make every day something that I enjoy doing and enjoying, but I actually were blessed so my grandmother died in 1985. She was born in 1900 lot of antiques that I use now I use a lot of the antiques that I have and I use them. I display them, but I use them and people are like you shouldn’t be doing that but I do, what I do I don’t have that many kids. I started having babies when I was 17 and my last child I was 32 like I said they’re all grown. They have families. My three boys now have made me fam and I look forward to Sunday, dinners, and holidays, blessings to your peace of mind, body and soul🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I adore your channel. Wasn't sure if you were aware, but covering your thermostat can keep it from reading the proper temperature. Hope you have a blessed day!
You could take your art piece and take out the inside board, so to use your thermostat you had to flip up the floral print. So fun 🥲🤍
I don’t get how thrifting saves money at all It seems so much more expensive than buying the new item for cheaper at a regular store 🤔 but everything is cute lol
I'd rather submit to my husband who promise before God to love and care for me rather than a boss who doesn't really even know me
Thanx for the tidbits, wow your post baby tummy is amazing feel free to post tips
The gadget you thought was for brewing tea is really for putting soap scraps in then you swish it in your dish pan to wash dishes. I save my scraps of Ivory and Grandma's lye soap for washing dishes.
I forgot to say I really enjoy your channel. Beautiful farm!!
I didn't explain that very well... you swish the basket part with the soap scraps in it in your dish pan just to get enough soap in the water to clean the dishes. Women used it before liquid dish soap in a bottle.
Just a little tip your thermostat will function differently ones its covered because of the sensor. I hat someone say that they could not figure out why the heater would not go on when it was so cold. But its the sensor being covered so if you make an opening or so at the bottom of the frame maybe it will be better
I have that exact tablecloth! It was my grandmothers. ❤
You look really good!!! I did both, worked outside the home with a newborn and stayed home later in life. I have always enjoyed been home. I agree everyone has to do what is best for them❤❤❤
I love your videos! I grew up with a live in maid and Nannies. When I got older my mom would do everything in the home which led me to learn nothing. I learned to do dishes and laundry in my first apartment. I now homeschool and homestead and feel like I’m spinning and nothing is happening. Things need to change because I can’t tread like this too much longer
How old is your baby standing?!
I would not pay attention to others opinions
Know why you do this
Your husbands hat tan is the best 🤣
Pleasure video
This is spot on
I love the tablecloth!
It becomes overwhelming!!! 💯 with u ..i feel like i spend 95 % of my day in the kitchen..not easy !!! Ps love your vintage everything 😍 😊
what I want to know is how to get kids to do things on their own without fighting or needing me every 10 seconds. I feel I can't cook meals, or pick things from the garden, or do anything really. if I try to do something other than explicitly STARE at the kids I have one who "runs off." ex: im trying to water the plants, ask the kids if they wanna help, one will take off running towards the road. siblings follow. trying to make a nice home cooked meal turns into "he's looking at me, she took my toy, I dont like that meal" etc. I see you cooking in your videos and im so inspired but when im in the kitchen like that all 5 of my kids are at my feet, winding my ankles like house cats lol im sure someday ill look back on "the good ol days" but its really hard to get ANYTHING done these days.
Good morning from South Carolina.
I love your white dress you are wearing throughout the video today. Do you have a link or place you got it from? Or was it thrifted?
It just looks comfy but sweet and beautiful. Something you can wear at home or running into town. I literally want something like it to wear around the house and outside. 😆😆🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
P.S.
Said it before… I love when you show your latest thrifting finds. 😍
I’d love to know where the white dress is from too
They're from Neuflora (link in the description box as well has her discount code) :)
@@bstormy107 thanks! I should have known 😅
Love you videos!
Beautiful family ❤️
May God bless you ❤️and Mother Mary watch over you ❤️❤️❤️
I love your home......location as well! And your pajamas are so cute! You have the life Steph! John and your entire family are blessed beyond belief! xo Your friend Nancy from OHIO
I saw a Blankes coffee pot just like yours listed on Etsy for 54.99 , its vintage , so you got a great buy on that .
Talk to someone who has no home. Talk to a woman who has walked through infertility, or miscarriage, or death of her children. Talk to someone who lost their husband. Perspective. If you're not cherishing your blessings, spend some time talking to the Lord. He'll lead you into all the Truth. His Word is truth. Not every part of homemaking is enjoyable. But all of it is worthwhile.
HAPPY FALL WEDNESDAY IN SEPTEMBER! Your Kitchen is beautiful. Thanks for all the wisdom you give. I am the youngest of 10; 5 boys and 5 girls. I am 63 now , married for 42 years, TWO sons, 2 grandblessings and a daughter in law. Thanks for the recipes. STTB; Shared To The Burgh; Pittsburgh PA
My parents had an old coffee/spice grinder like yours it was awesome. I love your transformed kitchen and I really love your home it’s beautiful Stephanie
Hi, Adore your Spirit and Knowledge, loving Nature 💞 So agree with entire Family helping with keeping home going. Get pushback a lot with older teen, wait till they have their own house! Better pay attention now, otherwise will be lost later. Not easy! Be our best, teach our best, love hard, all help, peaceful Family! Thank you for your kindness and knowledge we all can pass on! PEACE and Love to you!
Hey Stephanie, I know you buy your dresses at Neuflora and you always look gorgeous and I want to start wearing dresses at home more. I was wondering do they last? It says on their website to hand wash and I just don't have the desire or time to do that, do you? Do they hold up well? Are they worth it? Thanks again for all your great informative videos!
Good morning. So excited to see you had a new video up. Perfect timing while I feed the baby ❤️
Thank you for this video! I am really struggle to do it all.... working full time job. Having happy husband, happy toddler, and the second on the way. To have a clean house all the time, to have meals planned ahead. Its as you say, is really frustrating when you cant have it all.
I have a copper pot similar to the one you found! I have it set at the top of my kitchen cabinets with a trailing plant inside. One of my favorite pieces as well!
Love your videos and encouragement for stay at home mothers💙
One of the biggest things I struggled with as a full-time working Mom who was forced to become a stay at home Mom; was feeling like I was doing nothing.
My husband was the bread winner when our boys got to preschool and my entire paycheck minus $30 every week was the preschool bill!
I am a queen procrastinator!
I can't stand the fact that I have a huge lazy bone in me!
Working forced me to get my butt up, shower, and get ready by 7am!
Being at home, I lived in my pajamas.
It took me a decade to start changing clothes and taking care of me.
Then we had a surprise rainbow baby girl when I was 39!
Thank God because she completed our family. ❤
I like to tell moms who ask me how am I so productive at home that I treat it like I did my nursing job. I wouldn’t show up looking like I rolled out of bed, I prepped stuff the night before to make me successful, AND I tried to have a good attitude about it. Apply those same ideas to being home and you’ll become wildly productive. I don’t go over board but even if I plan on staying home all day I pick out a cute thrifted outfit, fix my hair, do my makeup, and throw my shoes on. I show up to the job of motherhood ready to go. Now we all need a day where we stay in our pajamas and just lounge but that’s a treat not everyday.
The wisk is very cool!!😍
Great finds😁
Very nice coffee mill grinder
Ideal topic
Great message
Hey! Just so you know, those boppy seats are bad for the baby’s hips. We had one, too and then had to toss it. No worries (obviously) if you want to keep it. Just wanted you to be able to make an informed decision! Thanks for the video! I’ve learned a ton from you 😊
That actually looks like the Upseat to me, which is the "hip-safe" version!
@@meschouxpetits didn’t even know they made such a thing!
I'd say the answer to your video title is trade your life with mine and you'll be begging to be back sooner than later.
I grew up an extremely neglectful home, I spent many hours alone, my parents barely spoke to me,even hygiene wasn’t taught properly either. Now they I have grown up, I struggle with being sahm. I love my kids but I lack so many skills, i don’t know what structure looks like,I have hard time taking care of myself many times I end up burnt out.
I had a similar situation growing up. My parents seemed too busy for me alot even though my mom was home she struggled with depression and alcohol addiction. I'm about to have my first baby in November and I'm so happy to be able to be a stay at home mom with her my fiance is in full support because he grew up very alone too being an only child and single teen mother. I worry about how good of a mother ill be but the love is there and we are capable of anything we put our minds too. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow. Don't worry you will be able to get things together. I've been working to romanticize my life and gratitude every day for my small old dirty house lol make your home your haven.
Oh, babe. You can do this. One little thing at a time.
Being a stay-at-home mom To your kids takes a lot of courage and patience! Ask the Lord Jesus to help you. That's how I get through my day. Find other moms and grandmas that you trust, to get advice and help. And It helps so much to have support, as well as a vision and purpose for what you're doing, because sometimes it's hard!
That's so sad 😭 I'm sorry that's the childhood you experienced. I hope God sends you a person that can help you learn all those things gradually. I didn't have your extreme but definitely had a mom who was severely depressed and she would just hide in her room often. But as I was growing up I met people along the way that possessed those things that I missed and I also loved to watch Martha Stewart and many other cooks on TV 🤣.
I have worked for years in a similar way. I have like mental breakdowns over making dinner- I truly don't understand how cleaning my house isn't selfish (😂 I know, most people think of that as serving their family🤦) I've found the most success retraining my thinking with CBT exercises (that I did myself I've never been to therapy). This helps me see the reality of situations instead of the distorted picture that I received growing up. I did a LOT of observation too of other people that I thought had something right- taking the good, leaving the bad. But actually nothing compares to having a rain or shine date with God everyday- 30 minutes face to face heart to heart ❤️ he walked me through all of it because he wants me whole. I'm not all the way better but after 12 years I'm like miles and miles ahead of where I used to be.
There's a lot of hope for you ❤️
I'm trying to get past the fact that you found sending a steer you raised off to be killed & butchered "exciting".
I’m sure that it’s exciting because that means she’s about to get a lot of meat. Not that the killing was exciting
(As a former 8 year vegan I get why the wording was uncomfortable though)
The prospect of having a lot of fresh meat in the freezer is exciting. ❤
I'd be excited to know I raised my meat and didn't have to rely on who knows what down at the grocery store.
Home is my favorite place to be…🍂🤎🍂