Great video! As a divorce lawyer: if you see any of these traits in a person you are dating, RUN. DO NOT MARRY. DO NOT COHABITATE WITH THEM. It will only become a miserable existence for you. Go live your best life, without being tied to a narcissist.
@Esquire: unfortunately they like to target people at their lowest and not thinking right or making poor decisions. They like to rush people into cohabitation and marriage so as to keep the person. It can take a long time before the empath realizes what is happening... after the first narcissist,the survivor will be unlikely to make the mistake again once they are healed.
@@nomaswazimbata7287 its been 3 years and I'm still not healed. I don't know if I will either because I'm an older woman and dont have the strength to even try or.... he really screwed with my head that much that im ruined. It was the most unimaginable, nightmarish time in my life and I'm really good on being by myself, I love it and thank you for your encouraging videos. Let the people know because I didn't even know something like this existed till I was finally able to break free of his bonds he had on me. Then one boring day I started to watch videos on here and was blown away from what I learned.
I left him but he already had someone waiting. He kept her hidden even after I left but I exposed the affair and then laughed at her and still asked for the divorce. He still doesn’t know how I found out. Finally he’s in the dark. It’s a sad place to be. 🥺
I didn’t chase this NPD friend after she discarded me for the second time..after 8-9 months of zero contact she reached out to me again and acted like nothing happened. I answered with silence..thank you Jess and everyone else for your strength and hopes that we will be fine
That is key...they act like nothing happened...and if you point out their hypocrisy, its all a joke.... But when YOU commit an infraction, oh you are a sadist who enjoys hurting them. And you are behaving childishly...but not me....
@Paul Howe I feel that people make time for what they want. The change is the problem I see here. You know inside the answer. Sometimes we just don’t want to admit it. I wanted to be loved so bad when hat I kept ignoring every bad thing he did.
My NPD sibling tried to jump into a private conversation I was having with our parents and rewrite history. I simply said, "this doesn't concern you, thanks." and the intensity of the rage was incredible. I was accused of many horrible things and actually threatened with violence -- not that it frightened me, since she was always a childhood bully -- but I was surprised by the 2 year old tantrum behavior I witnessed and the level of narcissistic rage.
Jess, I really loved this video from the snowy scene to what you said. It was all perfect and so very true. Narcissists are pathetic and they do react like spoiled, petulant children. They try so hard to pull the wool over everyone's eyes with their false facade. But when the injury occurs, they realise just how weak and shallow they really are and they must face the music, whether they want to or not. Everything you said here is spot on and you are right on point as narcissists are so textbook classic with their massive egos! Thank you for sharing your enlightening and informative videos on these malignant parasites.
I have my ex narc frazzled and on the run….and it feels good, I must admit. Was seeing someone in my building (relatively small mid rise-10 floors). It lasted a short time. He did the usual stuff when angry with me (block me/unblock/block, throw tantrums when I had the audacity to talk about my feelings😮😱)…went back to him once for some well…you know. He said he didn’t want to lose me, etc, and the next day he was throwing another tantrum and literally walked away from me and said,”we can talk about this tomorrow or not!” I walked out and slammed that door until I thought the hinges came off. I was blocked before I walked back to my apartment. Now he’s blocked. Everywhere. And he is on the run. He’s tried to force interactions, I bet he’s tried to text me. Well guess what, I blocked your blocked. I silenced your silence. Oh man, and watching his narc injury manifest and watch him run into his apartment to avoid me because he can no longer control me Or the narrative is priceless. He sits all angry and alone, and I walk by with my friends and neighbors looking fresh. Making him uncomfortable gives me a sense of Satisfaction from time to time. Petty? Sure. Deserved. You betcha.
My daughter caused a narc injury to her dad. She was 14 years old. They were on the phone and she said my mom loves me by showing me. By being there, going to work, paying the rent, and breaking her back. What do you do? Text me how I'm doing? I was so proud of her. And she wasn't coached. I just sat there in awe of her. Now he just calls like once a year If that. No child support, nothing. I've just given up. I'll just raise this wonderful human being alone.
If you don’t give them what they feel entitled to, or you keep trying to hold them accountable for something or multiple things they did, you will narc injure them so badly they can even discard. It forces them to look in the mirror and they hate that.
So true.they do not want to be held accountable or responsible for bad things they do.if you do they want to seek revenge and punish you.though they won't tell you their emotions of feeling hurt. They are fake,disillusioned and will lie,gaslight you, distort reality and truth. It's crazy making if you don't understand their disordered mindset. Ego rules them to the point of no self control. It's evil and scary!
@@lynettecaballero1660 They only have a "false self," and faked "ego." (i.e. The narcissist has no real "self," nor technically, an "ego..." as they generally 'discarded' "the inner/ true self," before the age of nine. A "Sam Vaknin," paraphrase. I only point this out... as I keep seeing the word "ego," in the comments. ;-)
I just got off Facebook for good yesterday. I got so sick of my narc sister in law and all her followers and flying monkeys. She just loves all the attention! Enough! Thank you for another excellent video Jess! ❤
did you know that fb's algorithms were designed specifically to appeal to and foster narcissism and psychopathy? because that is the type of personality advertisers want to target. "influencers" = salespeople
@@sheilajac Hi...i totally believe that about fostering narcissism. For so many many people, Facebook is all about me me me and the advertisers know that. Thanks for your reply! 😊
I did!!!Absolutely!!! From all the EVIL they put on to people who do not deserve it, it is hard to believe they can't take the truth! Well i told the truth and he ended up not coming to work for 6 months, after turning out work place into a very humiliating scene, well he ran for the hills after i let loose, then i moved to a new state and I'm really happy to be away from that mess!!!
I exposed all the lies that my Narc ex had told her new supply about me! I hadn't known about her lies so when he heard my side of the story (i.e. the truth) from his ex (a good friend of mine) he confronted my ex about her bullshit. Funny thing was (and I mean quite hilarious) that after all my ex's lies (to me and to him), her deceit, her manipulations, her abandonment of me, etc., he dumped her after only a few weeks together!! Karma really is a thing!
I love listening to you Jess! The one thing I have learned over the last year of listening to everything you have shared with us is that even if you have proof of wrongdoing that they did, it does you no good. You could put the paperwork in black and white in their face and they will look at you as if you don't even know what you've read 🙌 Therefore it's not even worth doing. (Even if it's killing you to do so) The best thing you can do for yourself, is know the knowledge you have is the reality you're living and then go from there and when I say go... I mean GO. ! Thank you Jess 🌹 YOU have no idea how much you have helped me. April will be a year and I no longer consider myself a "victim" I'm a survivor and I feel like I got a PhD in NPD 🙌 Taking control back was the BEST thing I ever did, exhilarating and powerful 🎉 🎉
In the beginning I was actually shocked that quietly accepted my constructive criticism ! Now I know that he did so he held it inside and then used it to hate me
Contrary to narc injury and the ego I heard something recently that adultery and cheating is a huge boost to the ego of a narcissist! It makes sense! Do you have any videos on narcissists cheating and how it bolsters their ego? I would certainly appreciate it as I'm sure others would as well! Thank you, Jess! Happy Sunday! 💞🌻
They ultimately only have a "false self," and faked, "ego." (i.e. The narcissist has no real "self," nor technically, an "ego..." as they generally 'discarded' "the inner/ true self," before the age of nine. A "Sam Vaknin," paraphrase. I only point this out... as I keep seeing the word "ego," in the comments. ;-)
I inflicted a big narc injury basically by accident. A couple months after I dumped her over her horrible behavior (already a narc injury in itself, especially given that I laid out some serious home truths before I left), I was talking to a group of mutual friends that I hadn't seen for a while. Oddly, they all thought me and the narc were still together. I just assumed they hadn't spoken to the narc for a while, or had forgotten, or were mistaken. So naturally I corrected them, and filled them in on what had happened. Turns out they weren't mistaken - the narc had been actively pretending that we were still together. She'd told them all these things we'd supposedly done together recently that we hadn't ("oh yeah I'm going out for dinner with him after work, I'll tell him you said hi"), and she'd been telling them how I was and what I'd supposedly been up to ("ya he's doing great... He went to see his family over the weekend, can't wait until he's back!"). But none of it was true. I'd gone no-contact and unfriended and unfollowed her on everything. When I told these guys the truth they were blown away and thought she was a total lunatic. I hear that when this got back to her, she had a total meltdown. She blocked me everywhere the following day and I've heard nothing from her since. I guess that's one of the benefits of a massive narc injury - no hoover.
I woke up on October 21, 2021. My Narc and her roommate did not come home the night before. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that this was my time to exit, so packed what I could in one bag, I left unannounced, and moved 1,300 miles away with family to escape that sick circus. I have been no contact ever since unless having her served with divorce papers is a form of contact! :-)
Narcissist love narcissistic injury. They love it so much that they beg for it.. So I gave her a double helping two scoop humiliation and rejection... She loved it lol
I think you put this video out while I was spoon feeding the truth to the most recent narc. Cannot lie, it felt great! And yes I did it on purpose, but it is within me to direct people toward being better. Especially for the sake and safety of woman all over the world. Am I giving them too much credit? Yes, probably, the changes will only come if they truly want it. The words I shared were to solidify my freedom. And you know I looked in the mirror of my own words- something a narcissistic would barely understand.
I hurt my narcissist on purpose. 😆 I've been trying to get rid of him for months, and insulting him finally made him go away. Yay!! I couldn't be happier to have that POS out of my life.
I've dealt with two different narcs in the last 18 months. I blocked the first one on everything back in October. EVERYTHING. Lol. What does he do? I got 21 calls from him in the middle of the night , starting at 3am this morning. Yep. 21 calls. That's his norm. And the fkr left a voicemail waking me up at 3:07 this morning. He also made a fake facebook profile to request my fb because he can't make a fake profile on Instagram anymore, because I have him blocked from doing that. It's sad really. He did the push/pull, block and unblock, future faking with me. In October I had enough. The second narc I'm still in love with, but because of the first narc I know my worth. I never reach out to him. And when he reaches out to me, i always say the same thing: "When you're ready to man up and own your shit to me let me know." The last time on December 18th, he sent me a pic of himself. Just a pic. Nothing naughty. But wtf????? As IF. And when I asked him to man up, he told me "oh f off with that," I told him "f you." He said "What ever," and I haven't heard a boo from him since. Narc injuries to both all the way. Lol. 💃 Btw, the second narc had a gf, and not only did he have a gf, he was fk living with her, all the while telling me we were "working towards a relationship." His excuse for not being ready for a relationship? He had his own business and had to "focus on that 100%." Yep. I got lied to, manipulated, deceived with that one. And the fkr thinks he can just send me texts and act like he did nothing?????? Wow. The fk audacity. 🙄
My mother always saw herself as a "god" lolz. When I gave her my silence treatment it left a mark on her. 😂. I just carried on with my life and loved it
I put the frozen mangoes in the WRONG freezer and figured I would move them in the morning when I was not blitzed with lack of sleep … The Narc discovered this “ error “ of mine, went into a rage and I found myself using my martial arts training plus a DOOR DASH insulated bag to deflect the blows … so much fun! Am new to this Universe …
Jess, I always get a laugh out of the earthy way you deal 😂 I have the most malignant in-laws. They isolated me and triangulated me within my own marriage and family for decades. They felt so safe. Sold me a business, then wrecked it. Then decided that I was a weak wreck and they could take everything from me. Then the classic INFJ patience exploded, the rocky music came on, and I committed every narc injury known, and some new ones. I dragged all their sordid nastiness into the same public sphere they used to gaslight me. No contact, rejection, humiliation everything. And that’s what it took to get them away from my kids. You know what. Id do it again. Lying, cheating, manipulation, abuse, stealing, cruelty, I’m not jiggy with it. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone dealing with narcs or sociopaths, unless you’re okay with having everyone the narc knows turned against you. I’m lucky though, I don’t need their validation
It's okay for them to do wtfe to you, but oh boy break one off on them and look out, I did several times, and didn't even know that she was a narcissist, but once I did and I educated myself about NPD I just went no contact and block away and never looked back 👍 Jess thanks for the work you do ❤️ and 👍 survivors and thrivers don't ever be afraid to move forward it's so much better without them in your life.
After my ex borderline/narriiscist tried 2 times to put me in jail I reacted I sent a email to 8 of her company branches outling what she had done to me, including the fact that she was sleeping with her boss .18 years of hell there was a lot to say I have heard she was livid,4 years later she is severely depressed, suicidal and hates me with a vengeance ,I saw a picture of her on Xmas day I didn't even recognize her see looks so terrible ,narc injury 101
So much asking for she to be accountable for her doings and to be responssible must have made her a lots of narc-injuries and she couldnt take it anymore. She discarded me.
I'm pretty sure that I bruised his fragile ego whenever I spoke my truth. It wasn't my intention. It doesn't matter. He broke my heart. I really want to heal from what happened and move on.
I’ve realized that the reason why he never threw anything in my face is because his ‘high’ was being able to do things without me knowing. So exposing things was actually my way of making him upset. Smh.
I dumped him. Pretty sure all the rage was his ego bruise. And then again when he hoovered and i didnt know who he was. And then telling him i didnt want him back. And again hoover through proxy i told them he was even blocked on my Pinterest. He leave me alone for the most part. For all the rejection. And he knows that i know his narc. Games
I told a girl I was talking too I didn’t wanna be bothered at the moment and then she text me “I won’t bother you no more” and now I’ve been blocked for a month. Did I cause a Narc injury?
After telling my narc ex-husband to move out and go to Therapie for his gambling problem, the thing that was the worst for him, i belive was when a made my own Bank Account, we used to have only one, and having to give me his key to the appartement. That was i think the moment he realised i had set a real boundery. He never went to therapy, he instead is abusing his New supply. Who is just as sick as he is, so they are perfekt for eachother 😀❤
I caused my ex quite a few narc injuries, I was certainly not the naive doormat he thought I was. If he had taken more time to find out about me instead of always talking crap about himself he would have realised. I ended it and blocked him I know he would have hated that. I did run into him a few weeks later and he was very awkward I just ignored him.
I have something to share on Narcissisim,I e been a victim of this in the past,when a person starts dating a member of the opposite,well I guess say gender so I don't offend anybody. But when a person is dating an individual and their one friend get angry because you that person is spending more time with the person you're dating and not them and sometimes they do what they feel they have to do to sabotage the potential relationship that is growing. It is not fun, believe me,it reminds me of elementary school when if boys hung it with girls or girls hung out with boys it was Eww gross cooties.
I let him pay off some debt and my car and served him divorce papers. I played nice. He thought he was gonna put me on a shelf. Nope. He sent a text saying don’t hesitate to reach out if I need anything. I didn’t even respond. He moved in with another woman while we were still married. Didn’t bother to divorce me or tell me he had moved on. He thought he was gonna come back after he had played around. Nope. May he be happy where the grass is greener
If a narcissist is a lot like antique glass. In my opinion let them get shattered and walk away as they burn themselves. Cruella said the sixth stage of grief is Revenge in a theoretical sense.
I caused a few which is why they discarded me that and they wanted to be the first to do it. So when they said it was over and not to do this or that. I was like ok cool the same goes for me.
used everyone of those, i was too enraged by his behaviors, not to. and i had receipts when i walked away. do i feel bad? barely. he was a monster. bottom line? 18 months no contact … and zero hoovers!. (yes, i know i’m petty)
Oh girl! I divorced a narcissist after being with them for eight years and every single person that has approached me since that time has been pretty much a covert narcissist! I feel like fairy blood to a vampire it’s exhausting it’s one game playing manipulating idiot after another even former partners of mine that I’ve gotten in contact it’s like I see what they are I see how they manipulated and played games I’m starting to think that I can’t attract a healthy person. That being said I’m going to keep trying because my nerve detector is fully functioning and has a new battery LOL!
Oh , I DEFINATELY caused an injury . That , or learned how to rub salt in her already existing wound . I didn't know at the time about NPD , I just thought she was mean . Since my own "great awakening" , it's apparent that I am a super empath . That being said , I'm gonna let karma handle it unless further provoked .
Kicking him out and telling them some home truths of how disgusting they were over 3 year would that be classed as a injury? He also had a thing everytime he discarded that I shouldn't tell my family and should wait which I used to do but this time I was done and made a point of telephoning my mum while he was there to hear! Would this be a injury? He has blocked me after sending a picture of a girl saying he was now with and I reap what I sow! So I just blocked him then he unblocked me which I did the wrong thing and unblocked to see what he had to say but got nothing so I told him I dont need him to contact me again and delete me which he then responded he had! But deleting someone off your phone doesn't unblock them on whats app? So I blocked him and archived him so I dont even see anymore as it is all game tactics I dont want to play! Been there several times now
When I left mine narc he screwed me over big time been married 22 years and I didn't know how bad he put us in debt he sold our house behind my back cause he said he would take on all the debt and keep the house but found out he sold our beautiful house and I got absolutely nothing out of that house even though I put money into our house then I never got the rest of the material stuff that I wanted he took it all with him...left me with little petty stuff I'm so 😡 he always took his anger he had toward his mom out on me instead of speaking up towards her I lost everything I ever wanted ibeill remain on my own
I purposely hurt the narc. He texted me asking if we were broke up or just not as close anymore. I responded with, " dude, it's been six months of nothing. What are we, middle schoolers? Just delete me since this is soooo hard for you . " this was 2 days ago. Fuck him.
My understanding of not getting hurt is the only way that someone truly purely hurts is the passing of a loved one. Small mundane insults or childish behavior doesn't effect me as much as the passing of a loved one everything besides that is just trivial thing's we as human beings are meant to handle. It's all in our perception on life. In my situation someone asks you out and is a coward and cheats and tells me to get the hint! Inadvertently isn't mature on his part either. He believes he needs to rectify the cheat as a permanent relationship. I've been almost murdered and never charged him or went around telling other's either I, went back to work immediately with a smile on my face. I survived. Would that style of behavior make me a candidate for being a Narcissist no! Not everyone gets what they want that's life however everyone deserves the breakup not act like imbeciles.
Yes dealing with one right now 31 years of this I cut him off moved up stairs in another bed room don't address him when I see him in the house I told him that I was done a whole year and a half sleeping separately now I'm not working and he's paying all the bills he finally blew up trying to make me the bad guy because I let him know that I wasn't listening to mote his lies and manipulation everything he done to me he trying to make me feel like it's my fault and when he comes at me in a rage I pay him no mind. I knew something was wrong with him when I first met him and that he came in this relationship as a damage person I just thought that can help him he needs a straight jacket cause he insane. Case in point we went to the movies and we watched the move at the same time none of us went to get popcorn nore use the rest room so when we left the theater we bumped in 2 some friends he started talking about the movie we both seen and what he told the people that part was never in the move it was so bad that I rented the movie just to watch it over again to see if I miss that part that's when I really new he was a Narcissist .
I knew what I was dealing with I waited for the perfect moment the first time I received the smirk she was dumped immediately within one minute I was gone she never seen it coming if I explained in full detail how I would about defeating her with absolutely no mercy TH-cam will delete my account once again she had one serious Awakening I just sent it to your narcissistic on her she didn't like me much anymore but she hasn't threw in the towel yet she has become a glutton for punishment
Hep wants to win in court, refuses to negotiate on community items, refuses to get his stuff out, refuses to list the house. Has to win. 7 months and lots of money spent. All try and win. Even when we played board games he acted like a child if he didn’t win. Big baby in adult pants.
I told my NPD gf that I have learnt what's SLD and codependency which I will heal fr after she love bombed, divalued and discarded a 10000 times (maybe an exaggeration) in the last 3 years and she she flipped gave me some awesome and super sexy word salad by changing the conversation towards her while I told her clearly this is about me and how I am healing and she blocked me and now ghosting me for 3 weeks while I know the guy she is messing with ... Lol! 😂... I just wish them well especially that poor little hamster back in the wheel till she hoover's me again in 6 months .. that's my cycle! Gonna kick some butt again next time as I hear her whisper I am coming to destroy you soon bwoy! 🙂
I insulted my ex I told him his wee wee was little he was horrible in bed and that I cheated the whole relationship I called him gay told him he reminds me of a dirty squirrel scavenging through the dumpster 🙂 I don’t think I will get another Hoover after that 😁💪🏾
Great video! As a divorce lawyer: if you see any of these traits in a person you are dating, RUN. DO NOT MARRY. DO NOT COHABITATE WITH THEM. It will only become a miserable existence for you. Go live your best life, without being tied to a narcissist.
@Esquire: unfortunately they like to target people at their lowest and not thinking right or making poor decisions. They like to rush people into cohabitation and marriage so as to keep the person. It can take a long time before the empath realizes what is happening... after the first narcissist,the survivor will be unlikely to make the mistake again once they are healed.
@@nomaswazimbata7287 I agree. Thank you for your excellent reply to my comment.
@@nomaswazimbata7287 its been 3 years and I'm still not healed. I don't know if I will either because I'm an older woman and dont have the strength to even try or.... he really screwed with my head that much that im ruined. It was the most unimaginable, nightmarish time in my life and I'm really good on being by myself, I love it and thank you for your encouraging videos. Let the people know because I didn't even know something like this existed till I was finally able to break free of his bonds he had on me. Then one boring day I started to watch videos on here and was blown away from what I learned.
Amen to that Fact Jonathan 💯
Amen! Thank you!
Loved the day when I realized the discard was a blessing…
It really is a Special Day. Believe it. Its even better if you Discarded them First. Smash that EGO.
I left him but he already had someone waiting. He kept her hidden even after I left but I exposed the affair and then laughed at her and still asked for the divorce. He still doesn’t know how I found out. Finally he’s in the dark. It’s a sad place to be. 🥺
I didn’t chase this NPD friend after she discarded me for the second time..after 8-9 months of zero contact she reached out to me again and acted like nothing happened. I answered with silence..thank you Jess and everyone else for your strength and hopes that we will be fine
It's good that you ignored her. I myself have cut contact with narcissists friends. They are some of the most selfish people.
100 % Agreed.
That is key...they act like nothing happened...and if you point out their hypocrisy, its all a joke....
But when YOU commit an infraction, oh you are a sadist who enjoys hurting them.
And you are behaving childishly...but not me....
Speaking my feelings created huge narcissistic injuries followed by the silent treatment and more types of covert punishment.
@Paul Howe I feel that people make time for what they want. The change is the problem I see here. You know inside the answer. Sometimes we just don’t want to admit it. I wanted to be loved so bad when hat I kept ignoring every bad thing he did.
My NPD sibling tried to jump into a private conversation I was having with our parents and rewrite history. I simply said, "this doesn't concern you, thanks." and the intensity of the rage was incredible. I was accused of many horrible things and actually threatened with violence -- not that it frightened me, since she was always a childhood bully -- but I was surprised by the 2 year old tantrum behavior I witnessed and the level of narcissistic rage.
Humiliation is exposing their shame.
Shame is the core of their being.
Jess, I really loved this video from the snowy scene to what you said. It was all perfect and so very true. Narcissists are pathetic and they do react like spoiled, petulant children. They try so hard to pull the wool over everyone's eyes with their false facade. But when the injury occurs, they realise just how weak and shallow they really are and they must face the music, whether they want to or not. Everything you said here is spot on and you are right on point as narcissists are so textbook classic with their massive egos! Thank you for sharing your enlightening and informative videos on these malignant parasites.
I have my ex narc frazzled and on the run….and it feels good, I must admit. Was seeing someone in my building (relatively small mid rise-10 floors). It lasted a short time. He did the usual stuff when angry with me (block me/unblock/block, throw tantrums when I had the audacity to talk about my feelings😮😱)…went back to him once for some well…you know. He said he didn’t want to lose me, etc, and the next day he was throwing another tantrum and literally walked away from me and said,”we can talk about this tomorrow or not!” I walked out and slammed that door until I thought the hinges came off. I was blocked before I walked back to my apartment. Now he’s blocked. Everywhere. And he is on the run. He’s tried to force interactions, I bet he’s tried to text me.
Well guess what, I blocked your blocked. I silenced your silence. Oh man, and watching his narc injury manifest and watch him run into his apartment to avoid me because he can no longer control me
Or the narrative is priceless. He sits all angry and alone, and I walk by with my friends and neighbors looking fresh. Making him uncomfortable gives me a sense of Satisfaction from time to time.
Petty? Sure.
Deserved. You betcha.
Atta girl lol
My daughter caused a narc injury to her dad. She was 14 years old. They were on the phone and she said my mom loves me by showing me. By being there, going to work, paying the rent, and breaking her back. What do you do? Text me how I'm doing? I was so proud of her. And she wasn't coached. I just sat there in awe of her. Now he just calls like once a year If that. No child support, nothing. I've just given up. I'll just raise this wonderful human being alone.
If you don’t give them what they feel entitled to, or you keep trying to hold them accountable for something or multiple things they did, you will narc injure them so badly they can even discard. It forces them to look in the mirror and they hate that.
So true.they do not want to be held accountable or responsible for bad things they do.if you do they want to seek revenge and punish you.though they won't tell you their emotions of feeling hurt. They are fake,disillusioned and will lie,gaslight you, distort reality and truth. It's crazy making if you don't understand their disordered mindset. Ego rules them to the point of no self control. It's evil and scary!
@@lynettecaballero1660 They only have a "false self," and faked "ego." (i.e. The narcissist has no real "self," nor technically, an "ego..." as they generally 'discarded' "the inner/ true self," before the age of nine. A "Sam Vaknin," paraphrase. I only point this out... as I keep seeing the word "ego," in the comments. ;-)
I just got off Facebook for good yesterday. I got so sick of my narc sister in law and all her followers and flying monkeys. She just loves all the attention! Enough! Thank you for another excellent video Jess! ❤
did you know that fb's algorithms were designed specifically to appeal to and foster narcissism and psychopathy? because that is the type of personality advertisers want to target. "influencers" = salespeople
@@sheilajac Hi...i totally believe that about fostering narcissism. For so many many people, Facebook is all about me me me and the advertisers know that. Thanks for your reply! 😊
Yep I inflicted one when I basically said you are a liar and I don’t believe anything you say
It hurts having to put up boundaries but unfortunately that’s the only thing they understand.
I did!!!Absolutely!!! From all the EVIL they put on to people who do not deserve it, it is hard to believe they can't take the truth! Well i told the truth and he ended up not coming to work for 6 months, after turning out work place into a very humiliating scene, well he ran for the hills after i let loose, then i moved to a new state and I'm really happy to be away from that mess!!!
I exposed all the lies that my Narc ex had told her new supply about me! I hadn't known about her lies so when he heard my side of the story (i.e. the truth) from his ex (a good friend of mine) he confronted my ex about her bullshit.
Funny thing was (and I mean quite hilarious) that after all my ex's lies (to me and to him), her deceit, her manipulations, her abandonment of me, etc., he dumped her after only a few weeks together!! Karma really is a thing!
There isn't anyone in this world that's perfect!
I love listening to you Jess! The one thing I have learned over the last year of listening to everything you have shared with us is that even if you have proof of wrongdoing that they did, it does you no good. You could put the paperwork in black and white in their face and they will look at you as if you don't even know what you've read 🙌 Therefore it's not even worth doing. (Even if it's killing you to do so) The best thing you can do for yourself, is know the knowledge you have is the reality you're living and then go from there and when I say go... I mean GO. ! Thank you Jess 🌹 YOU have no idea how much you have helped me. April will be a year and I no longer consider myself a "victim" I'm a survivor and I feel like I got a PhD in NPD 🙌
Taking control back was the BEST thing I ever did, exhilarating and powerful 🎉 🎉
This is so deep and true 💯We have feelings they have egos that’s the difference between us and them
In the beginning I was actually shocked that quietly accepted my constructive criticism !
Now I know that he did so he held it inside and then used it to hate me
Contrary to narc injury and the ego I heard something recently that adultery and cheating is a huge boost to the ego of a narcissist! It makes sense! Do you have any videos on narcissists cheating and how it bolsters their ego? I would certainly appreciate it as I'm sure others would as well! Thank you, Jess! Happy Sunday! 💞🌻
Agree
They ultimately only have a "false self," and faked, "ego." (i.e. The narcissist has no real "self," nor technically, an "ego..." as they generally 'discarded' "the inner/ true self," before the age of nine. A "Sam Vaknin," paraphrase. I only point this out... as I keep seeing the word "ego," in the comments. ;-)
I inflicted a big narc injury basically by accident. A couple months after I dumped her over her horrible behavior (already a narc injury in itself, especially given that I laid out some serious home truths before I left), I was talking to a group of mutual friends that I hadn't seen for a while. Oddly, they all thought me and the narc were still together. I just assumed they hadn't spoken to the narc for a while, or had forgotten, or were mistaken. So naturally I corrected them, and filled them in on what had happened.
Turns out they weren't mistaken - the narc had been actively pretending that we were still together. She'd told them all these things we'd supposedly done together recently that we hadn't ("oh yeah I'm going out for dinner with him after work, I'll tell him you said hi"), and she'd been telling them how I was and what I'd supposedly been up to ("ya he's doing great... He went to see his family over the weekend, can't wait until he's back!"). But none of it was true. I'd gone no-contact and unfriended and unfollowed her on everything.
When I told these guys the truth they were blown away and thought she was a total lunatic. I hear that when this got back to her, she had a total meltdown. She blocked me everywhere the following day and I've heard nothing from her since. I guess that's one of the benefits of a massive narc injury - no hoover.
Damn you got a psycho
When they give me the silent treatment....I just IGNORE them; within a week they call, and say didn't you miss me. I'm like No. 🤣🤣🤣
I woke up on October 21, 2021. My Narc and her roommate did not come home the night before. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that this was my time to exit, so packed what I could in one bag, I left unannounced, and moved 1,300 miles away with family to escape that sick circus. I have been no contact ever since unless having her served with divorce papers is a form of contact! :-)
Narcissist love narcissistic injury. They love it so much that they beg for it.. So I gave her a double helping two scoop humiliation and rejection... She loved it lol
Lol
I think you put this video out while I was spoon feeding the truth to the most recent narc. Cannot lie, it felt great! And yes I did it on purpose, but it is within me to direct people toward being better. Especially for the sake and safety of woman all over the world. Am I giving them too much credit? Yes, probably, the changes will only come if they truly want it. The words I shared were to solidify my freedom. And you know I looked in the mirror of my own words- something a narcissistic would barely understand.
I did #2 and #3. I haven't heard from them since thank God.
Every person who is sensitive isn't necessarily a Narcissist!
I hurt my narcissist on purpose. 😆 I've been trying to get rid of him for months, and insulting him finally made him go away. Yay!! I couldn't be happier to have that POS out of my life.
I've dealt with two different narcs in the last 18 months. I blocked the first one on everything back in October. EVERYTHING. Lol. What does he do? I got 21 calls from him in the middle of the night , starting at 3am this morning. Yep. 21 calls. That's his norm. And the fkr left a voicemail waking me up at 3:07 this morning. He also made a fake facebook profile to request my fb because he can't make a fake profile on Instagram anymore, because I have him blocked from doing that. It's sad really. He did the push/pull, block and unblock, future faking with me. In October I had enough.
The second narc I'm still in love with, but because of the first narc I know my worth. I never reach out to him. And when he reaches out to me, i always say the same thing: "When you're ready to man up and own your shit to me let me know." The last time on December 18th, he sent me a pic of himself. Just a pic. Nothing naughty. But wtf????? As IF. And when I asked him to man up, he told me "oh f off with that," I told him "f you." He said "What ever," and I haven't heard a boo from him since. Narc injuries to both all the way. Lol. 💃
Btw, the second narc had a gf, and not only did he have a gf, he was fk living with her, all the while telling me we were "working towards a relationship." His excuse for not being ready for a relationship? He had his own business and had to "focus on that 100%." Yep. I got lied to, manipulated, deceived with that one. And the fkr thinks he can just send me texts and act like he did nothing?????? Wow. The fk audacity. 🙄
Thanks for your truths.
Very helpful video. Thank you 🙌
My mother always saw herself as a "god" lolz. When I gave her my silence treatment it left a mark on her. 😂. I just carried on with my life and loved it
I put the frozen mangoes in the WRONG freezer and figured I would move them in the morning when I was not blitzed with lack of sleep …
The Narc discovered this “ error “ of mine, went into a rage and I found myself using my martial arts training plus a DOOR DASH insulated bag to deflect the blows … so much fun!
Am new to this Universe …
Jess, I always get a laugh out of the earthy way you deal 😂 I have the most malignant in-laws. They isolated me and triangulated me within my own marriage and family for decades. They felt so safe. Sold me a business, then wrecked it. Then decided that I was a weak wreck and they could take everything from me. Then the classic INFJ patience exploded, the rocky music came on, and I committed every narc injury known, and some new ones. I dragged all their sordid nastiness into the same public sphere they used to gaslight me. No contact, rejection, humiliation everything. And that’s what it took to get them away from my kids. You know what. Id do it again. Lying, cheating, manipulation, abuse, stealing, cruelty, I’m not jiggy with it. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone dealing with narcs or sociopaths, unless you’re okay with having everyone the narc knows turned against you. I’m lucky though, I don’t need their validation
It's okay for them to do wtfe to you, but oh boy break one off on them and look out, I did several times, and didn't even know that she was a narcissist, but once I did and I educated myself about NPD I just went no contact and block away and never looked back 👍 Jess thanks for the work you do ❤️ and 👍 survivors and thrivers don't ever be afraid to move forward it's so much better without them in your life.
I, love constructive criticism!
After my ex borderline/narriiscist tried 2 times to put me in jail I reacted
I sent a email to 8 of her company branches outling what she had done to me, including the fact that she was sleeping with her boss .18 years of hell there was a lot to say
I have heard she was livid,4 years later she is severely depressed, suicidal and hates me with a vengeance ,I saw a picture of her on Xmas day I didn't even recognize her see looks so terrible ,narc injury 101
Boy that's the biggest narc injury I ever heard
Yesss jesss❤️❤️❤️
So much asking for she to be accountable for her doings and to be responssible must have made her a lots of narc-injuries and she couldnt take it anymore. She discarded me.
Yes,,,good for you to speak your truth...you saw thru the fake mask...they hate that. Live your best authentic life!💖
@@lynettecaballero1660 thanks
I'm pretty sure that I bruised his fragile ego whenever I spoke my truth. It wasn't my intention. It doesn't matter. He broke my heart. I really want to heal from what happened and move on.
I’ve realized that the reason why he never threw anything in my face is because his ‘high’ was being able to do things without me knowing. So exposing things was actually my way of making him upset. Smh.
I dumped him. Pretty sure all the rage was his ego bruise. And then again when he hoovered and i didnt know who he was. And then telling him i didnt want him back. And again hoover through proxy i told them he was even blocked on my Pinterest. He leave me alone for the most part. For all the rejection. And he knows that i know his narc. Games
Love it . Michael The Gloved one Jackson would have been Proud. Dirty Dianna. Love It.
Pray for me
I told a girl I was talking too I didn’t wanna be bothered at the moment and then she text me “I won’t bother you no more” and now I’ve been blocked for a month. Did I cause a Narc injury?
Yes,completely annihilated my ex malignant covert narcissist☺👍
After telling my narc ex-husband to move out and go to Therapie for his gambling problem, the thing that was the worst for him, i belive was when a made my own Bank Account, we used to have only one, and having to give me his key to the appartement. That was i think the moment he realised i had set a real boundery. He never went to therapy, he instead is abusing his New supply. Who is just as sick as he is, so they are perfekt for eachother 😀❤
I love listening to your excellent teachings! It is great to be able to spot these types of friends! 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
Destroy their ego and they will mostly don’t try to come back any time soon in my case she will never every try to attempt a hoover 🙂
Great video Jess!
I caused my ex quite a few narc injuries, I was certainly not the naive doormat he thought I was. If he had taken more time to find out about me instead of always talking crap about himself he would have realised. I ended it and blocked him I know he would have hated that. I did run into him a few weeks later and he was very awkward I just ignored him.
Love your energy AND your honesty👍🏾😀 Gorgeous back drop pic too. I loved your live chat and pic too. Keep Rising,Jess👍🏻
Cause a narc injury by healing yourself and living your best life. ❤️😊❤️
I have something to share on Narcissisim,I e been a victim of this in the past,when a person starts dating a member of the opposite,well I guess say gender so I don't offend anybody. But when a person is dating an individual and their one friend get angry because you that person is spending more time with the person you're dating and not them and sometimes they do what they feel they have to do to sabotage the potential relationship that is growing. It is not fun, believe me,it reminds me of elementary school when if boys hung it with girls or girls hung out with boys it was Eww gross cooties.
I let him pay off some debt and my car and served him divorce papers. I played nice. He thought he was gonna put me on a shelf. Nope. He sent a text saying don’t hesitate to reach out if I need anything. I didn’t even respond.
He moved in with another woman while we were still married. Didn’t bother to divorce me or tell me he had moved on. He thought he was gonna come back after he had played around. Nope. May he be happy where the grass is greener
DAM RIGHT JESS THAT FRAGILE LITTTEEE EGO AMEN AMEN 👍 👍 👍 😢 YASSSS
If a narcissist is a lot like antique glass. In my opinion let them get shattered and walk away as they burn themselves. Cruella said the sixth stage of grief is Revenge in a theoretical sense.
I caused a few which is why they discarded me that and they wanted to be the first to do it. So when they said it was over and not to do this or that. I was like ok cool the same goes for me.
I'm sure someone's ego fell down & went "boom" after I went no-contact.
It was time to move on.
They may get a injury but you will NEVER SEE IT!!
used everyone of those, i was too enraged by his behaviors, not to. and i had receipts when i walked away. do i feel bad? barely. he was a monster. bottom line? 18 months no contact … and zero hoovers!. (yes, i know i’m petty)
Oh girl! I divorced a narcissist after being with them for eight years and every single person that has approached me since that time has been pretty much a covert narcissist! I feel like fairy blood to a vampire it’s exhausting it’s one game playing manipulating idiot after another even former partners of mine that I’ve gotten in contact it’s like I see what they are I see how they manipulated and played games I’m starting to think that I can’t attract a healthy person. That being said I’m going to keep trying because my nerve detector is fully functioning and has a new battery LOL!
Oh , I DEFINATELY caused an injury . That , or learned how to rub salt in her already existing wound . I didn't know at the time about NPD , I just thought she was mean . Since my own "great awakening" , it's apparent that I am a super empath . That being said , I'm gonna let karma handle it unless further provoked .
Kicking him out and telling them some home truths of how disgusting they were over 3 year would that be classed as a injury? He also had a thing everytime he discarded that I shouldn't tell my family and should wait which I used to do but this time I was done and made a point of telephoning my mum while he was there to hear! Would this be a injury? He has blocked me after sending a picture of a girl saying he was now with and I reap what I sow! So I just blocked him then he unblocked me which I did the wrong thing and unblocked to see what he had to say but got nothing so I told him I dont need him to contact me again and delete me which he then responded he had! But deleting someone off your phone doesn't unblock them on whats app? So I blocked him and archived him so I dont even see anymore as it is all game tactics I dont want to play! Been there several times now
When I left mine narc he screwed me over big time been married 22 years and I didn't know how bad he put us in debt he sold our house behind my back cause he said he would take on all the debt and keep the house but found out he sold our beautiful house and I got absolutely nothing out of that house even though I put money into our house then I never got the rest of the material stuff that I wanted he took it all with him...left me with little petty stuff I'm so 😡 he always took his anger he had toward his mom out on me instead of speaking up towards her I lost everything I ever wanted ibeill remain on my own
I purposely hurt the narc. He texted me asking if we were broke up or just not as close anymore.
I responded with, " dude, it's been six months of nothing. What are we, middle schoolers? Just delete me since this is soooo hard for you . " this was 2 days ago. Fuck him.
My understanding of not getting hurt is the only way that someone truly purely hurts is the passing of a loved one. Small mundane insults or childish behavior doesn't effect me as much as the passing of a loved one everything besides that is just trivial thing's we as human beings are meant to handle.
It's all in our perception on life.
In my situation someone asks you out and is a coward and cheats and tells me to get the hint! Inadvertently isn't mature on his part either. He believes he needs to rectify the cheat as a permanent relationship.
I've been almost murdered and never charged him or went around telling other's either I, went back to work immediately with a smile on my face. I survived.
Would that style of behavior make me a candidate for being a Narcissist no!
Not everyone gets what they want that's life however everyone deserves the breakup not act like imbeciles.
Yes dealing with one right now 31 years of this I cut him off moved up stairs in another bed room don't address him when I see him in the house I told him that I was done a whole year and a half sleeping separately now I'm not working and he's paying all the bills he finally blew up trying to make me the bad guy because I let him know that I wasn't listening to mote his lies and manipulation everything he done to me he trying to make me feel like it's my fault and when he comes at me in a rage I pay him no mind. I knew something was wrong with him when I first met him and that he came in this relationship as a damage person I just thought that can help him he needs a straight jacket cause he insane. Case in point we went to the movies and we watched the move at the same time none of us went to get popcorn nore use the rest room so when we left the theater we bumped in 2 some friends he started talking about the movie we both seen and what he told the people that part was never in the move it was so bad that I rented the movie just to watch it over again to see if I miss that part that's when I really new he was a Narcissist .
I knew what I was dealing with I waited for the perfect moment the first time I received the smirk she was dumped immediately within one minute I was gone she never seen it coming if I explained in full detail how I would about defeating her with absolutely no mercy TH-cam will delete my account once again she had one serious Awakening I just sent it to your narcissistic on her she didn't like me much anymore but she hasn't threw in the towel yet she has become a glutton for punishment
Hep wants to win in court, refuses to negotiate on community items, refuses to get his stuff out, refuses to list the house. Has to win. 7 months and lots of money spent. All try and win.
Even when we played board games he acted like a child if he didn’t win. Big baby in adult pants.
When you do here come the psychopath
I told my NPD gf that I have learnt what's SLD and codependency which I will heal fr after she love bombed, divalued and discarded a 10000 times (maybe an exaggeration) in the last 3 years and she she flipped gave me some awesome and super sexy word salad by changing the conversation towards her while I told her clearly this is about me and how I am healing and she blocked me and now ghosting me for 3 weeks while I know the guy she is messing with ... Lol! 😂... I just wish them well especially that poor little hamster back in the wheel till she hoover's me again in 6 months .. that's my cycle! Gonna kick some butt again next time as I hear her whisper I am coming to destroy you soon bwoy! 🙂
I insulted my ex I told him his wee wee was little he was horrible in bed and that I cheated the whole relationship I called him gay told him he reminds me of a dirty squirrel scavenging through the dumpster 🙂 I don’t think I will get another Hoover after that 😁💪🏾
Just curious, Jess... Are you a Scorpio?
Haha, why yes I am.
@@JessStanley Thought so... When you "stung" your ex narcissist by publicly humiliating him. That's how you ended the relationship. The scorpion 🦂 👌
They will just treat you like shit but you don’t understand why they are treating you like shit!
So exactlywhy are they doing this