🐅 Use my code Meg2024 for 20% off your entire Wild order! 🐅 : bit.ly/MEGWILD What do you think? Is autism in fact a rainbow butterfly? 🦋 Does the fake disorder cringe reaction to the word ‘neurspicy’ change your opinion on the word/song? Should I get uterus earrings? All the big questions! Thank you sooo very much for being here, as always! This channel is the most wonderful distraction at the moment and I am so grateful for it 💛🐌 If you want to cringe at fake disorder cringe some more, here’s my previous reaction: th-cam.com/video/ZTqDgAjdPeA/w-d-xo.html
Uterus earrings? Yes. But please be kind to the rest of the crew. I want female repro collage earrings! An extravagant homage to our amazing bodies! 😅❤
This is so real. I have an invisible disability on top of having ADHD (no diagnosed autism but I love the channel lol and many things I can relate to by virtue of having ADHD) and the amount of times people would tell me I'm not "really disabled" only to see me in a massive flare up and go "you look sick..." is astounding! Like no shit I look sick, I'M ILL.
i see it so often and it's frustrating. someone can talk about how autism doesn't need to be cured (which it doesn't, even if it were physically possible to do, it's not a disease to be cured) or talk about how they like themselves how they are and 10 people will come rushing out of the woodwork like "well i HATE being autistic, i HATE my life, i want to be cured!!" which...that's sad, but that's not the majority of people and shouldn't be treated like the standard. it might be rude but it literally is a them problem and not anyone else's, not everyone needs to be miserable just because they are.
Yeah, I am miserable, but I do not like to show it and that's because I mask to be accepted. People in general don't wanna hear about your misery anyway.
I'm not even sure what they mean by "infantilizing" autism at this point. It seems like "you're doing something I deem childlike and I don't like it" rather than "you're treating autistic people like children that don't have any capacity for intelligence or responsibility"
My paternal side of the family always tried to infantalize my brother "He doesn't know any better" when he was younger and then would bully me when I stood up for my brother cause they were looking down on him. Both my brother and I are Autistic
Yep, what you are describing is the problem version: someone infantilising someone else, judging them to be incapable due to behaviors that might accompany cognitive limitations but do not define it. Loving plushies or joyful summing, for instance, might look like a child’s behavior, but it is not an actual indicator of capacity for intellectual functioning. It’s associative. I’m terrible at joyful behaviors, but this doesn’t mean I fit the stereotype of the grim autistic genius. It means I’m generally depressive. The other way “infantilising” gets invoked is when people complain that, by exhibiting certain behaviors, an autistic individual is feeding other people’s stereotypes. But the onus should never be on the person exhibiting the behavior. Yes, it may reinforce stereotypes in some people’s minds, but the problem there is not the autistic person’s behavior, it’s the dynamic I describe above - the person holding the stereotype is the one that needs to make cognitive adjustments. Trying to refute stereotypes by making sure no one ever exhibits them is absolutely backwards. It gives the stereotype more power, not less.
My theory is that they’ve internalized the notion that childlike things are shameful and they have to hide their own traits at all costs, so they resent that other people have the freedom to indulge them openly and be celebrated for it.
I hate that like my brother in Christ the self Infantalizarion is The Trait of The Disorder. That's the Point. Can't bulive people think your faking a disorder by having a disorder.
What I've learned through this subreddit and it's inhabitants: You can't share positivity about your autistic experience. You can't share your struggles either. You can't show stimming - but also if you don't stim, it means you are not autistic. You cannot show meltdowns and shutdowns, because you are faking it. But you also cannot NOT show them, because otherwise you don't struggle. You can't wear colourful clothes and act "childish", because it's infantilising. But you also can't be all serious and composed, because it means you are not autistic. After all of that AND my personal experience, I have a question. Why would I want to conform and try my best to appear "normal" when all these people want is to dislike me no matter what I do?
That's what narcissists act, they want to abuse and bully you and make you think you're the problem but in reality they are insecure inside and are always looking for an external emotional punching bag. Anyone that frequents any bullying community online shows that their true nature they just disguise their hatred as something that's justified and project their narcissism onto others calling others narcissists, it's really pathetic once you realize what these people's intentions truly are you shouldn't pay any Narcissist any attention because that's whay they are looking for negative or positive. Just look at any comment in any of these hateful communities are you can feel how unempathetic they are compared to any community that's just discussing their own disability, you always find the most kind hearted people that doesn't put anyone down like these hellhole of comment threads
This!!! This!!!! Omg I couldn’t have put it better than this!!! None of it makes any logical sense!!!! And why is it so many people think that all autistic individuals are the same? I’ve met so many people think that they know autism because they’ve met one person with autism and when I don’t present the same, they act like I’m just trying to be an issue because I’m not an exact clone of the person they know with autism
@@HelloHamburger i feel like they want ND people to not show themselves. Think about it - they shame every single aspect of being autistic in TitTok, like trying to squeeze neurodivergent people out of it by creating a false sense of "you will be judged by everyone no matter what" At least that's what I observed idk
Controversial opinion but the sudden panic about autistic people being 'diagnosed by tiktok' is doing nothing but harm to the autistic community. Fakeclaiming is becoming acceptable in places it never was before and I can't say anything about my day to day life without someone saying "Akshually, doing x doesn't mean you're autistic, you should do more research and consult with a doctor before diagnosing yourself". Funnily enough, they never respond when they find out I was diagnosed by a panel of NHS psychiatrists at age 7. Honestly I'd much rather deal with the annoyance of a few non-autistic 15 year olds mistaking their anxiety for autism then moving on after a year than this god damn policing.
I literally see no problem with self-diagnosing??? Like self-diagnosing is how people start looking into an actual diagnosis, no?? It’s not even people claiming they have these conditions, from my understanding, it’s just that they suspect they might have them. I feel like it’s easy to resolve by offering them support until they get the actual diagnosis and move on instead of getting mad at them…
Honestly yes. It‘s like ‚transvestigating‘ but for neurodivergencies. Fakeclaiming is like this loophole for assholes: 1) bully someone for ND traits 2) claim they are not ND 3) no one can call you ableist if bullied person (according to you) doesn‘t have a disability 4) profit I also HATE how I feel like this policing is making us regress in terms of diagnosing marginalised groups like women and BIPOC. Also reminds me of the whole issue with respectability politics.
Hard agreed, as far as I know I am diagnosed with Asperger's, but all of the stuff about "People claiming they are Autistic to be quirky or smth" certainly doesn't make my Impostor Syndrome any better 💀
Literally. If I hadn't self-diagnosed with an autoimmune illness and asked my endo to check for it, I wouldn't have been diagnosed and I wouldn't be receiving any kind of treatment as of now (and this is after being dismissed for 2 years by other doctors)
no lmao you go to the doctor to GET a diagnosis that may or may not be what you thought. saying "I think" it's not the same as going to the doctor's appointment and saying "hey, I have pneumonia, medicate me"
shout-out to the ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGIST who said i wasnt autistic because I asked if she was okay. I was diagnosed when I was six. It wasn't even what the appointment was about...
Imagine if I made a post saying I broke my wrist in an accident and people started foaming at the mouth and screaming at me for glorifying broken bones... That's it, that's this subreddit.
Self diagnosed!!! Stop bending your arm in the middle of a long bone like that, it's WEIRD. You're attention seeking and taking services away from people with REAL broken bones.
Being socially awkward doesn’t MEAN you’re autistic. But if you ARE autistic, you’re gonna be (or have been before you learned to change the behavior) socially awkward.
for me personally i learned to lean into the autism and keep things jovial. if i dont know how to respond to a question i legit just start talking about food, animals, or air planes, or ask whoever i'm talking to about any of those subjects. a lot of people actually enjoy the suddenness of the exchange.
not true, we a re social different, not awkward. i communicate with my peers on the spectrum perfectly fine. thats like saying a neurotypical person is socially awkward cause they dont get along well with an autistic.
Exactly. It's the whole conversation of: "Correlation is not causation". Just because they are related, does not mean one causes the other. In this case, just because autistic people or people with autism can be and generally are socially awkward, does not mean that being socially awkward makes you autistic.
@@laraprisma6381 example: me and my bioyfriend can talk about metal for hours or me and my bestie about kpop but anything i dont cae about will be boring. i dont generally like most movies but if its one i like ( like deadpool or something ) i will yap for a LONG time
The asthma one is infuriating because I would agree there are a surprising amount of parallels. I have a friend who wasn't diagnosed with asthma until later in life, decades after her son had been diagnosed with asthma as a child, because asthma, like autism, is under diagnosed and under treated in women and marginalized racial groups. And until she got an asthma diagnosis people treated her getting winded and tired easily as some sort of moral failing for not being more physically fit. What the person in the skit should be saying is "Are you sure you're asthmatic? You don't look asthmatic. You should just try breathing better." because those are the people making it harder to get a diagnosis, they're the "friends" who make you question your lived experiences and the doctors that don't believe you're in pain, they're not the people who are self-diagnosing.
I got my asthma diagnostic at 20 because "it's just because you don't exercice enough" (in a family were everyone does sport and the fact I was doing half a day walks with my family since I was like 6) Apparently even me having a worse time than people with diagnosticed asthma was not a sign enough (except for that one PE teacher)
I’m asthmatic, though well-controlled, as well as four forms of neurodivergent (ADHD-PI southpaw autistic twice-exceptional), and I’ve pointed out that there’s a ton of this kind of garbage, especially historically, even about something so clearly physical. “Oh, you don’t really need that inhaler. What if the steroids stunt my child’s growth? Are you sure it’s not mostly anxiety? Why are so many kids getting diagnosed with asthma all of a sudden??? I’m not asthmatic, I’m just out of shape! I can’t be asthmatic; it would ruin my whole life!”. (The last one was actually said by my ex-husband, who had apparently forgotten I’d been diagnosed a year earlier and was living life as before.) 😑
Having to “prove” my identity is so exhausting. I have autism, ADHD, DID, and a fainting disorder. I’ve been told so many times that “no, you’re not fainting, you’re just tired.” And to stop making a scene. I’ve been told numerous times that my DID isn’t real because of how large the faking DID scene was in 2020 or so. TBH I don’t always tell people about my disorders, I only say it as a reasoning for behavior. I say up front that I have DID and a fainting disorder. Especially my fainting disorder because one wrong fall and I could die. Imagine if I had to prove everytime that I had my fainting disorder. How? It’s a fainting disorder. What do you want me to do? Faint on command or something? It’s useless to constantly say “you can’t be/have _____ because you do/have ______”. People are diverse, people have different experiences, especially with disorders that are a spectrum like autism. If you’re not a doctor specialized in autism, you don’t get to say if someone has autism or not. And even than you cannot diagnose someone with ONE TIKTOK.
I TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS! I have autism, adhd a few learning disabilities and leg issues. I can't count how many times people have said that I'm faking because you apparently can only have one disorder!? I've even been told that I can't have all these things and be gay and trans!?!??! Like what does that have to do with anything?!
People get so weird about DID, especially. I know someone who is able to talk with their alters and they figured out a way to co-exist and work together, and someone said "your friend doesn't have DID" because they're able to talk and stuff
I haven't even read the entire comment and already feel disgusted for the people you've interacted with - I'm absolutely not the most useful but I had someone with epilepsy in my comp (11-16 years old) who I helped through absent seizures (she was able to stay stood up and would make noises so we had to keep an eye on her) so I'm used to asking if you need anything after waking up and getting that, noting down times, etc..
“Reinforcing stereotype” has become such an excuse to not do or show traits which can be interpreted as negative… it’s just showing people cannot accept true diversity when that diversity is no longer only about good and positive things, but about the “weird” “ugly “bad” traits, or just ones you cannot understand. Also if someone is taking all their knowledge about autiam from one tiktok it really doesn’t matter what you show, it’s the person who is the problen
It's bad when used against LGBTQ+ people and other races but it's definitely worse being used against neurodivergant people. Neurodivergant people have no control over what symptoms and traits we have, especially when it's those symptoms and traits that literally define the mental health issues. They've literally made a no win scenario, if you don't XYZ traits then you're lying but if you do...well you're still lying because it's too "stereotypical". It's most likely this sub was made with ableist silencing as it's only purpose. Literally "I don't like disabled people, especially happy ones so I'm going to try to bully them into silence so I can ignore them". Like when bigots complain about gay people "making it their whole personality", it's just a dog whistle for "be quiet so I don't have to acknowledge you.
It reminds me of the episode of The Good Doctor when Shaun has a meltdown because the head of the surgery department doesn't want him as a surgeon, and Shaun repeatedly screams "I AM A SURGEON" and some people were making fun of that scene and saying it wasn't a realistic portrayal. But then you have other autistic people saying, "Well, MY meltdowns look like that. Can we not make fun of people whose meltdowns look like that?" Every autistic person is different, and making fun of certain ways in which someone's autism manifests is not okay. I'm not the biggest supporter for the show because they work with autism speaks, but this is one thing I will defend about the character.
Wild to me that these kinds of people say “you can’t self diagnose yourself after watching one TikTok video!” (Not even how it works) but they think they can say someone’s NOT autistic after watching one TikTok video about them
so real. they say "you cant tell if youre autistic or not from one tiktok!!!" (which again is not how it works) but they think they can tell if someone ELSE is autistic from one tiktok????
I self-diagnosed myself with autism because my friend (who is autistic) shared a LOT of traits with me, and after a while it stopped feeling like "oh what a coincidence!" and more like "oh I should probably get that checked." Lo and behold, years later I get tested, and I am VERY MUCH autistic. Honestly never understood people who get mad about self-diagnosis; I know me better than anyone.
Like if you saw someone’s TikTok about how there knee hurts and you realise that’s exactly how your knee hurts… but you haven’t been to doctor because you thought it was normal…. and when you tell anyone that this might be why your knee hurts …. they say everyone’s knee hurts sometimes…..even when you explain no my knee hurts all the time…which is why I think I have this. I just need doctor help diagnose it for sure………😊
@@prageruwu69 i hate it when people mostly either treat it as the most destructive thing, or just a quircky type of behaviour. (sorry for my english).
@X1cherryful same! Being autistic makes me really happy sometimes beacause it's a part of me ani love me but i alsow sometimes feel easily overwhelmed and tired and it makes things harder. Its not all black an white its a lot of colours and pretending things are either always happy or always sad is just limiting the things we live and feel
i think it's ironic because a lot of said minimizing of symptoms is done in a tongue and cheek deflection, so sarcasm is likely, it's just dark humor. Dark humor is extremely common with disability or marginalization and often isn't bleak gloom but absurd as well. That sub reddit is not the audience for that humor, it's clear they don't want to read it any other way but negative and it's clear they'll just move the goal post to hate on autistic people out of the guise of concern. They're notbhsppy unless we're the butt of the joke and if we self-deprecate and seem okay well they're gonna make us proper sad. It's just concern trolling either missing ironic jokes by accident or intention.... Jokes from people who more on average miss read sarcasm which i think is funny. But of course I would 😅
This entire subreddit is full of people who legit just want to bully people for being weird, but they are aware of what autism is and have a moral compass that says it's wrong to bully people for their disabilities. So they rationalize their urge to bully people as somehow protecting people who _actually_ have the disability from fakers. That's why you can never win. They have decided to bully you for all the ways you seem autistic, and they've decided to bully you for all the ways that you don't. You don't end up on r/fakedisordercringe because you were being autistic wrong. You end up there because you mentioned being autistic and someone took that as an invitation to hyper-analyse your every action.
I was riding my horse in a lesson i wasn't usually in a couple of months ago. This girl, who is around 4 years younger than me, asked me why i was flapping my arms when i got off my horse. I explained it was called stimming, and it was because i was super happy with my horse (a 6** year old - accidentally pressed 5) doing something for the first time, and he didn't spook or anything. She proceeded to ask why AGAIN, so i said, "i have autism, so i can't really control it much." And she had the uneducated audacity to say, "You dont look autistic though." I literally FROZE. i asked her what she meant, and she then proceeded to explain what she thought autism "looked" like. Turns out she'd been taught autism "looks" like people that are paralyzed. When their faces are stuck in one position, same for their body, and that their words are slurred and you can barely understand them I. Could. Have. Screamed. It's so far off, and for no reason!? People NEED to be educated that some peoples disablities arent always visible. Somethind else i want to point out, relating to the first one, i believe many (but not all) autistic people easily forget that none of us are exactly the same. The spectrum varies widely. So if one autistic person struggles to communicate, that does NOT mean every other autistic person does too. Same for the other way around. My nephew who is getting diagnosed with autism will literally go up to ANYONE in the shops and go "hi im (name) im (age) and im shopping with my mummy." Then walks off. He LOVES to sociolise but doesn't understand exactly how to donit properly, and therefore, he ALSO forgets to ask people things like "whats your name?" Where as I don't like sociolising, but when forced to, I 95% of the time remember to reciprocate the questions. For example Person: "Hey, how are you?" Me: "I'm good thanks, how are you?" But then I try my hardest to end the conversation as quickly as possible, which could result in me seeming "rude" Another polar opposite between me and my nephew is understanding sarcasm. I struggle to understand it, even when it's the same phrase used by the same person over and over. I also struggle sarcasm via text too, especially if there is no punctuation or emojis or clear, full capitals, bold letters to reassure me it's sarcastic. My nephew understands any and all sarcasm at this point and uses it a lot himself.
@@jaspersoranges it's not dumb! He's actually 6 and I miss clicked when writing my comment but either way, he's at just the right age to be ridden! Horses start to get trained to be ridden typically at 3 years old. The 6yo I'm helping train is a sweetheart and I've only ever fallen off once and it was because he tripped and spooked. He learns extremely quickly but we never push him to do anything too advanced for him and slow introductions are necessary. He's currently doing very small jumps at the moment, as we're teaching him not to charge at them and go slowly. But in the future, he's definitely going to enjoy bigger jumps at the right speed For other horses, jumping might not be their strong suit and they might refuse to jump alot when training them from 4-6 years old etc. And might prefere other types of work :) So in conclusion, they're young, but old enough to be ridden and trained :) it's alot more difficult to ride young horses (equestrians call young horses, "green") than a 10-20 year old for sure. They're alot more easy going from personal experience but some can have alot of attitude lol. But typically the younger and less experienced they are, the more they just want to go fast, fast, and more fast ❤️
@Sunnys..grxvve I see! Thank you! Lovely explanation, honestly, I am not a horse type of person, but I know a lot about ungulates because why not lol and horses which not really artiodactyla are still technically ungulates. And I've only ridden a horse once, a Shetland when I was much younger. What breed is yours unless you don't know which is also fine.
the irony of this subreddit is that their whole thing is saying people can’t diagnose themselves, but they can diagnose someone else after a 30 second video. like how does that make any sense??
In my experience, people tend to excoriate others for perceived behaviors that they recognize, and are perhaps even unhappy about, in themselves. I think others take the transactional approach that “everybody does it,” and maybe they don’t feel bad about doing it themselves, but they try to make sure others don’t get away with it. I think all that is basically the concept of projection.
Take Imane Khalif's call controversy. The detractors are ready to claim she's a man because the way she looks. When a feminine guy says he's a woman they are the first to cry.
@@Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ A stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. An archetype is a very typical example of a certain person or thing.
In common usage, I think the distinction is also that a stereotype in exclusionary: you must meet this one standard, and any deviation from it is invalid. This can be true even when there are multiple conflicting stereotypes in play. Typically people will either invoke their chosen stereotype of a person, or at least employ one stereotype at a time. Archetypes are more inclusionary -there can be multiple archetypes of autism, and fitting one and not another is perfectly valid. And theoretically, a person can not fit any one archetype perfectly, because they represent common presentations but are not absolute. One of the pitfalls neurodivergent people face is a that the DSM uses criteria which can be conflated with stereotypes. But for all its faults, the DSM still attempts to address individual variation with the range of behaviors that are required to receive a diagnosis: you need a certain number of traits from this category, not necessarily all of them, nor is the lack of one specific trait an absolute veto. This is where uninformed practitioners really put their foot in it, declaring that eye contact, of having friends, or asking how someone is constitutes an automatic veto all by itself. Even leaving aside the biological aspects of the spectrum, all humans are influenced by personality, experience and learned behaviors, and this must impact how one person expresses traits relative to another. And adults will be trickier that kids, because they’ve had more time to adopt a world view, coping strategies and other learned behaviors.
12:40 I'm diagnosed with cptsd, major depression, anxiety and eating disorder and this is so frustrating. On the one hand you have to be sick and miserable 24/7 to get treatment and accommodations from the government and being happy even for a second can harm your benefits, but on the other hand there ARE good days and not showing them is also harmful and stigmatizing. It's a constant battle. You're either dying or in top health, there is no other option.
I’m drawing a parallel to the whole coercive controlling “If you aren’t perfect, then I get to make all your choices for you because your imperfect butt might make a bad one otherwise!” thing, here. Important to remember that roughly 1/3 of marriages are, ahem, “coercively controlling”. People who use their social skills mostly to hurt others in order to get what they want are quite common, and tend to end up in power positions… 🤦♀️
Ahg! Someone else with cptsd! I'm sorry about everything you handle with this illness. It may not get better, but it will get easier to deal with. You got this!
My dad asked me the other day what I'm going to do with my 80 Squishmallows when I move out. I told him I'm going to keep them, and they'll go on my bed. He told me that people won't want to be at my house when they see my bed lined with Squishmallows, because that's childish behavior. I told him I don't care at this point. If people are going to have a problem with the way my bed looks, then I won't have a relationship with them. If I was sharing the bed with someone else, I would move them off the bed, but if it's just me, they're not going anywhere. I'm not going to give up my comfort when I come home every day just because someone else doesn't like it. My house, my room, my rules. That's what I'm going to tell people when my autistic traits shine through. My brain, my body, my rules. You can't tell me how to operate my brain and body. You can politely ask me to stop doing something if it's disruptive or unsafe, but it's ultimately my decision. I'm sick of NTs telling me how to live my life as an autistic person.
your dad is wrong, sure some people might be weird about your squishmallows, but that's a them problem, not a you problem. I'd honestly feel way more comfortable with someone if I came to their house and they had a bunch of squishmallows. Like unless it's at the point of hoarding, it's completely fine.
I’d be jealous of your collection. I mean a bunch of cute pillow plushies to cuddle onto in bed? Yes please! If only I didn’t myself around in bed all the time like a restless burrito I would have all my plushies in my bed, but I end up kicking them off of laying on top of them.
i was told by a pediatric autism specialist at 18 that i wasn't autistic bc i have tattoos and piercings, and that autistic ppl don't get tattoos or piercings bc they want to "blend in" and not stand out. me and my grandma only went to him bc medicaid stopped covering me and he was the only specialist we could afford. that was at least 6 years ago at this point but i still feel shocked every time i remember it
Ironic because I usually hear that autistic people tend to want to blend in less because they tend to care less about what their peers think or are doing
That reminds me of a psychologist appointment I had where I was talking about how I have REALLY bad task initiation and she eventually said “just put it on your calendar and do it” Wow thanks Ms. Mam for showing me how blessed and neurotypical you are. If I could just put it on my calendar and do it I wouldn’t be asking for medication from her every few months to function!
A psychiatrist told me that I can't have ADHD bc I'm too successful, lol. I went to like 3 different psychiatrists, but none of them even gave me a test or anything at all. Two just brushed it off, a third one said that because I have depression, it's difficult to tell them apart and diagnose ADHD. I understand it, but at the same time depression, anxiety and ADHD are comorbid and frequently come together. I don't claim to have ADHD, I just want to have a proper evaluation, not "you're too successful" or "you're too depressed".
as someone who works with autism, ADHD and other disabilities and mental illnesses. it boils my blood to see people faking. yes people fake, deal with it. faking is ableism. uts like when people who are neat and tidy say they have OCD. they don't, they're just neat and tidy. it minimises ehat OCD actually is and underminds how crippling it can be. this happens with all mental disabilities and mental health issues.
@@MammothMoralsAs someone who works with the same groups of people and is diagnosed with ADHD: Yes, a percentage of people who state they are autistic are likely faking. However, a much larger percentage are not. By being assholes to people we don‘t know because we for some reason feel like we have authority on who *really* has a disability, we are harming more disabled people than ‚fakers‘. It‘s ableist. Isn‘t it convenient how people can be assholes to someone without being ableist simply by stating that they don‘t believe they other person is disabled? Accusing random people of faking behind the façade of concern is giving ‚protecting‘ people from false rape accusations in the name of feminism. Missing the forest for the trees.
@@MammothMoralsas some one who is actually autistic it is not the epidemic that allistic people love to rant about. If anything constantly being ready to point fingers and call autistic people not autistic is more harmful and ableist than this false phenomenon of faking autism will ever be, even if it were what was happening.(but it is not, it is just ableism disguised as some fucked up form of “social justice”)
When I was 14 and 15 I was obsessed with fakedisordercringe, I felt like self diagnosed people were mocking me and I wanted to mock them back. For a while I had the mindset of “faking until proven otherwise”, which basically meant that I assumed that everyone who claimed to have a disorder was faking it. Eventually I realized that my autistic identity isn’t any more valid just because I had the privilege of being diagnosed early, and that my mindset was messed up.
i was 11 when i discovered it and got banned from the r/gachaclub server bc i thought everyone there was right abt everyone faking did and told ppl that on the server its been 3 years and i still feel fucking horrible abt it
True character isn't the absence of flaws. It's how you conduct yourself once you recognise those flaws, and the fact that you guys have recognised them, are remorseful, *and* willing to change says a lot about your strength of characters. Congratulations on that wonderful growth, I'm very happy for you and the people around you!
I kinda dislike how non-descriptive a lot of diagnosis are. The moment that you realise you are neurodivergent you'll see yourself in virtually every category under the sun
I was diagnosed last year and used to have that mindset of people faking disorders. Thankfully I've grown out that mindset and just let people be people. Unless they are blatantly lying or spreading misinformation
The asthma analogy is hilarious to me since people did tell my mom I wasn’t asthmatic when I was younger despite being prescribed daily breathing treatments. I couldn’t be asthmatic because I would run around at the playground. Someone claimed an asthma attack wasn’t an asthma attack since I didn’t go pale. I did go pale, just pale with melanin. People would regularly say that asthma was being over diagnosed. This was only 20 years ago.
It hasn’t changed, I’ve (also asthmatic) gotten the same treatment from my parents and teachers and almost all adults I’ve met, childhood to adult, and I’m only 20. (I’m sorry, btw.)
I..... can't believe this. This is starting to be nonsensical. Don't get me wrong, IT IS VERY STUPID to think people are faking invisible illnesses and mental disorders, BUT LIKE??????? YOU ARE SEEING IT, HOW CAN YOU BE SO IGNORANT TO THE POINT WHERE YOU SIMPLY SAY "ur not asthmatic lol" TO SOMEONE HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK??????? HUH????????????
I have the feeling that if this doesn't stop, people will normalize telling someone they are "overreacting" or "faking it" when the person LITERALLY BROKE A LEG AND IT'S LITERALLY BLEEDING.
I think this whole "investigation" we do into autistic people, especially self diagnosed, is also connected to late stage capitalism. Capitalism taught us that we need to work super hard to cover our basic needs, we need to prove ourselves as "special" and everyone who cannot provide evidence of that has only themselves to blame. It's a constant competition of who has it worse, who is more miserable and deserving of peaceful existence - we fight each other, meanwhile governments and companies get away with not providing anyone with the care they need, autistic or not. It's a manifestation of the frustration we all feel and instead of going after those who eff us over, we go after each other. Why is that even a thing?
You know, technically, since Autism is a neurological developmental condition, it actually _is_ all in your head. ;) (Yes, that's a joke. Yes, I'm autistic.)
It’s been my impression that many or most people’s conception of the brain is this dark, empty space, filled with nothing but thoughts and feelings, all chosen freely. The idea that it is a biological organ that works differently in difference people, and that thoughts and feelings and sensory inputs/responses are generated by physiological processes - that just doesn’t compute. I think the concept that we are not completely in control of all our cognitive processes is especially threatening to people who are vaguely aware that they have no idea why they do a lot of what they do, and that some of it probably isn’t strictly rational.
As someone with asthma and severe allergies to cats and dogs, I can say with total assurance that I get told on a regular basis, "Oh, my friend is allergic to cats and she's totally okay coming over to visit me and my three kitties!" or "No, really, my dog is hypoallergenic so it's fine if they lick you!" or "I bet you're making it up - if I hadn't told you there's a cat here, you wouldn't be reacting right now." So the whole premise of that particular TikTok is completely invalid.
If it isn't deadly, I'd go over anyways, have an allergic reaction (if it's like a rash or something like that), and looks at them and be like "does this look fake?" Of course, that's just me
My best friend is deaf. She wears hearing aids and her external ears are visibly abnormal. We went to middle and high school together and our teachers would ALWAYS tell her she was lying even though she literally wears hearing aids.
Oh my gosh. SAME! I am accused of faking it too. "I bet you'd never know if I didn't tell you?" "You don't seem that bad." "I am sure you can come around for half a day and be fine" I took 14 antihistamines in 24hrs just to enable me to stay at a friend's house because she pressured me to stay. Really pressured me. I did not realise that you could OD on antihistamines. 😞 "It ain't easy being wheezy." I usually only notice how wheezy I am when I get out into the frsh air to be fair. EDIT: Oh the old "my friend who is allergic to fur still comes around" 😞
I remember that I got permanently banned from this subreddit for "white-knighting" for the crime of saying "yeah, this subreddit has a habit of claiming provably autistic people aren't "actually autistic"." When I said to the mods that the subreddit has a problem with ableism they just started insulting me in DMs and then muted me from being able to message moderators.
the self diagnosis asthma tiktok is wild because like you said they literally do that to people who have been medically diagnosed too. i literally spent hundreds doing adhd testing and got a diagnosis and a full report and everything and i literally still have DOCTORS who will look at my official diagnosis detailing all the tests i went through and say "well i disagree. you seem fine to me. you just have anxiety". like this literally happens to people with official diagnoses too. i've literally gotten into arguments with psychiatrists for refusing to prescribe me meds i know work for a disorder i have official documentation for because they just don't believe me. like i walk into a psychiatrist's office with my adhd diagnosis and they just say no. self diagnosed people aren't at fault for people not believing us because they literally just don't anyway.
YES! This happens all the fucking time! Doctors doubt you, health officials disallow you the proper health because “Well you’re probably just a drug addict so” it’s like… News flash GP: You CAN HAVE BOTH ADHD AND ANXIETY WHICH I FUCKING DO! Why do so many people believe that’s there’s this black and white thing? Like “This” or “That” when it could literally be both too? Why are people so susceptible to this god awful black and white mentality. Because it’s easier than finding the nuance to something? Life isn’t black and white! I thought people knew this already! What the fuck .
The first one already got me eyerolling lol. Like, if an autistic person was super sociable and conversation savvy, these same people would accuse them of faking because of that. You literally cant win 😭😭
My mum knew I was autistic way before I was diagnosed, so she went out of her way to teach me how to socialise. Stuff like “always return the question” and “if someone mentions an event, ask how it went”. I still struggle with socialising, but if you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t guess I’m autistic-this stuff really annoys me, it undermines all the work my mum did to help me
EXACTLY!! Not only did it feel like my face was burning but I just kept wiping my face unconsciously at my school graduation ceremony 💀 I think my skin was also a bit sensitive to it but also just hated it completely and I felt bad for the artist (family friend tried so hard to make it comfy)
Right! I try to put on makeup sometimes but I usually can't handle anything more than gloss and blush. Kinda related, but I hate being expected to wear makeup all the time. I told a girl I didn't really wear any makeup outside of special occasions, and she looked at me like I was an alien.
one time i saw someone on there straight up say someone was lying abt being autistic, and then in the SAME FUCKING COMMENT, asked: "btw, her tone of voice is rly robotic, wtf is up with that?" LIKE BRUH this sub is a clown show
When you asked if people are going to make fun of people for being in a wheelchair, I can almost say that people do, when the reason they are in a wheelchair, and/or using crutches etc does not match what they feel using one should look like. When I was in high school I was in a bad car accident, and broke my femur (upper leg bone) in half. I had a metal plate in my leg for a year, and then had it removed bc my body rejected it. Healing from a break like that means you use a wheel chair, then moving to crutches. While it is healing, you start putting more and more weight in the leg. Sometimes, not even using those devices. People absolutely make fun of you, or say you are faking when the way you are using an assist device, not in the way they think you should be. Much in the same way being late diagnosed is looked upon as fake. Thank you for your videos. They help me tremendously!
People sometimes roll their eyes when i say im autistic, my aunt who is a phyc nurse even said "everyones autistic nowadays". People think i went on tiktok and suddenly became autistic when i dont even have tiktok and never had, it took seven years of therapy and many different diagnosis for me to even consider i might be autistic. Not to mention autism is very common in my family.
@@thehorriblesnifflerif sooooo many people were autistic, there would be no such thing as the phrase "everyone's autistic these days" because naturally it would be viewed as normal.
It’s so annoying, it’s not like autism is not real, my 50 year old father has diagnosed autism did he get it in the 70s by opening TikTok?? It’s a real thing with real people who have it 😭
I've had people say I'm not or that I got it from TikTok but in reality I noticed alot of similarities between myself and people with the medical diagnosis in my personal life and even brought it up to my therapist. I took the test on the more reliable site and scored nearly 100 pts over "normal" and I've ALWAYS had issues with texture (especially food texture) and had tantrums when I was younger that looking back were more akin to autistic meltdowns
Yep - these people do mock wheelchair users and those with invisible disabilities. I have EDS, I sometimes look fine, i sometimes need walking aids, and in an airport i definitely need my sunflower lanyard and a wheelchair.
I can't imagine what it's like to get mocked for literally needing a wheelchair to get around. Usually with my cane, people just move out of my way... I hope people just learn to live and let live.
Zebra here. I got shocked at how differently I got treated when I was on holiday with a flipstick (cane with a seat) like good shocked, people's reactions to me were completely different when they could physically see something was wrong. (Although my cane did end up accidentally getting stolen (it was given into reception) as I put it next to me while I did something and we'll I obviously looked healthy enough that it didn't belong to me, even with it right next to me.)
I'm not a wheelchair user, but it's astonishing how many people who don't (yet) need walking aids assume everyone using a wheelchair is completely incapable of walking. God forbid they see you using a cane or nothing at all; suddenly you're faking being disabled and "should be ashamed." The dualistic thinking is understandable in kids, but adults? Very disappointing.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: by and large, anti self-diagnosis people are just looking for a somewhat socially acceptable excuse to bully neurodivergent people who they consider "cringe."
well I'm saying it now and I'll say it again, you're WRONG. Anti self-diagnosis people are by and large _diagnosed_ people who have lived with this for their entire life and can spot when someone only has a shallow understanding of ADHD or autism 90% of the time, and are rightfully upset when these people go on websites like TikTok and act like "representatives" and spread misinformation. It's no different than when people say "I'm so OCD" just because they organize their closet and drawers.
@@GoddoDoggomany people don't have the money or privilege to get an autism diagnosis. Also autism is under diagnosed in POC, women, and adults. there's a reason people turn to self diagnosis
@GoddoDoggo I've been diagnosed with autism so long that I knew it for most of my life as aspergers. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the same time, depression a few years later, and DID within this year. I knew I had DID for years prior, I just couldn't receive a diagnosis. How do you have the diagnostic capabilities to undiagnosed someone based off traits in on video, one post, their online presentation? You don't know them irl. And most of the time, you people don't go after self admitted fakers. You go after real diagnosed individuals accidentally spreading misinformation or even just...living their lives, doing things that could be considered cringe. Mostly women and queer folk too. What gives you the right to do that? What school of psychology did you go to? Did they ask for your help determining their diagnosis? Are you a medical professional? If the answer to all those questions is no, you should really take a step back and reconsider your actions. Us individuals who have been diagnosed for years don't need your suibaiting, harassment, and general negativity.
Nah, I won't throw sh!t at self-diagnosed people nor invalidate or deny their struggles BUT things like confirmation bias and symptom overlap are often forgotten when it comes to self-diagnosis. It actually takes a lot to become qualified to diagnose and that's the reason why I don't fw it, having this posture doesn't make me a neurotypical (I consider that shi- an insult atp) who hates autistic traits
Abandoning the asthma metaphor for a minute, the inhaler necklace is actually a good idea, in my opinion. I have a friend who is asthmatic and I remember once we were walking down an avenue on our way back to school and a huge truck almost ran us over and he got spooked and had an asthma attack and I thought she was going to die because we couldn't find the inhaler in the backpack. So I think an inhaler necklace isn't that bad of an idea. You know, the way diabetics get bracelets that say they're diabetic.
I agree. I did think that was what was happening until my brainsies caught up. My best friend died of an asthma attack in 3rd grade so I wouldn’t think twice about it if someone wore one, or I’d think it’s good idea!
As an asthmatic I agree with this. That actually sounds like a great idea, I’ve never thought of that and I’m almost always losing my inhaler. I’m not on the verge of dying from an asthma attack that often when I do have an attack, but it is harrowing and uncomfortable and I often get attacks from just laughter alone. Having my inhaler on me at all times without having to carry it everywhere in a bag or something would be so much more convenient!
I had this middle-aged woman I used to work with say that I couldn’t have AuADHD, because her grandson has it and I didn't act like him. Peer diagnosis/self diagnosis helped me push to get a professional assessment, which, at 28, learned I AuADHD. Autism is a spectrum. And I wish people understood this. Like they like autistics as a sense of community but when those people show less desirable symptoms, they're faking or an embarrassment to all autistic folk
WOAH, you don't act like a little boy even tho you're a grown adult and also a different person?!?!?!??!??!11?exclamationpointquestionmark!!!// that's crazy! whomst'd've thought.
Or with other heart issues. I have tachycardia due to POTS. My resting bpm is around 100-110bpm. I got told my heart palpitations were "just anxiety" and my heart was racing due to "stress." Luckily, my standing tests for POTS don't lie. But so many other people will go with "just anxiety" because their condition is actually more complicated and isn't a simple test and result scenario.
@@ohhmangos how did you get a diagnosis for POTS btw if you don't mind me asking?? i got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hEDS last week and i've been kinda overwhelmed with all the stuff i need to learn and get figured out for treatment options and disability support, and i'm pretty sure i have some symptoms of POTS but when i brought it up with my gp he basically didn't know what it was and dismissed it at as a 'made up disorder' 😭😭
To be fair, the fact that women can have very odd symptoms of a heart attack, this is quite possible. I still don't think it is completely well known, even in medical circles.
As someone who has had trouble breathing for the last few years, who has repeatedly been told that they DON’T have asthma-but was recently told that there was an old diagnosis of “Reactive Airway Disease” in their chart and finally prescribed a daily inhaler-the analogy between asthma and autism hit me particularly hard.
While I'm sure that some of the hate is specific to autism in particular, especially the 'autism moms' who are angry that other people aren't as impaired than their children, I have noticed over the years a general trend that lots of people don't want people on the internet to 'be things.' I first encountered this phenomenon with introversion a few years ago, lots of people saying things like 'you're not an introvert, you're just shy!' or 'there's no such thing as introversion, everyone needs to be alone sometimes'. They would accuse people who discovered the term and realized it fit them of just wanting to be trendy, or wanting to be special, wanting attention, etc. All the same stuff. And now, of course, they're doing the exact same thing to trans people. As befits my autism, I see a pattern. I don't know why this is, but I have some hypotheses. First, that a lot of people do everything they do online just so that they can get sympathy, get attention, get validation that they are special, etc, and they project that onto everyone else, and they think that people with unusual traits somehow have an unfair advantage. Second, that in our atomized society where the concept of community has withered, people without marginalized traits see people with them forming communities of support and are jealous. Third, that it's just another form of the same school yard bullying we've all faced before in myriad other forms.
They are looking for community in a world where peoole are increasingly lonely and atomised by claiming some superficial identity. Combined with a society that turns everything into a commodity, you get people who just hoard labels in an attempt to replicate an authentic sense of self, just like they do with clothes or other consumer products.
@@amazinggrapes3045 A bunch of people on the internet a few years ago, who didn't like seeing people being happy that they learned something about themselves
4:24 Do we want to be socially awkward? No. Do we want to be seen as socially awkward? Not really, though many of us low masking types take an "it is what it is" attitude. But a lot of it comes down to "you laugh or you cry". We can either laugh about our struggles, or we can cry about them, and many of us choose to laugh.
You described it absolutely perfectly, this is our life and our struggle and if they refuse to understand let them flounder in their self imposed ignorance ❤
I hate that subreddit so much. I bet the few cases where the people posted there actually turn out to not have a disorder, still aren't faking. People who have been struggling for a while often just want to know what's wrong, so they find a disorder that seems to match their experiences and they genuinely believe they could have it, but in the end turn out to have something else. That isn't faking!
@@Swagsoviet06 and these misdiagnoses will ALSO happen in a medical setting. I feel like people posting in these threads vastly overestimate how black and white getting diagnosed is too. You misdiagnosed yourself? I have a family member who was misdiagnosed my medical professionals in the same way - because they too have their expertise. It happens. Giving each other grace and leeway and learning about what CAN be happening inside one's brain is the way to get everyone the support they need. Which is everyone's goal... Right?
Being concerned about "fake autism" screams of an ableist neurotypical or self hating neurodivergent. I could not care less if someone who's "just socially awkward but not autistic" says "I self diagnose as autistic" and shares their personal experience. That doesn't scream ableist to me. Policing language and people's diagnoses and being mean and making fun of people for having autistic traits under the guise of "exposing fakers" is so much more concerning and ableist than sharing experiences and trying to identify your own traits and identity and diagnoses
My nurse at my school said, and I quote "It must be high functioning cause you don't seem-" and then I cut her off and explained autism to her, a medical professional, and that I'm level 1 but that doesn't mean I'm not "autistic enough" to need a 504 plan (Which I finally got!). Just because I'm good at masking when I actually try doesn't mean I'm neurotypical.
they somehow think that their little disclaimer is doing them justice but they are showcasing literally the exact opposite behaviors of what they are saying (Not bulling shaming or whatever)
@catballer69 Sadly, most of the time, disclaimers like that aren't actually meant to prevent harassment; they're meant to provide plausible deniability when the harassment happens.
I’m autistic and I despise that subreddit. However, I STRONGLY believe that freedom of expression is a basic human right. Period. Ignorant people like them are a dying breed anyway. We don’t need to censor them. The correct thing to do is precisely what Meg is doing here - challenging their stupid ideas with better ideas and debunking their misinformation. Censorship is a weapon of the weak. Censorship is what you do when you don’t have a good argument so you need to shut down your opponents altogether. Our arguments are good and we’re not weak. Let’s not call for fascist censorship just because this subreddit is cringey and toxic.
God I find all of this so confusing “you need to tell us you’re autistic otherwise we don’t know and think you’re just being awkward”, “don’t tell people you’re autistic, you’ll get peoples backs up” (had both of these comments made by two different staff members in the same workplace) and now it’s “if you tell people you’re autistic, you’re faking” What do they want from us?! Also, I have a sunflower on my bank card so the staff are aware I need a bit of extra help sometimes.
They want to hurt us for their own ego and insecurities. Hurt people hurt people. Ableists are the same as all bigoted people. Driven by fear of the unknown that turns into anger and hatred and excuses. Also thinking in a black and white mentality is easier than thinking in complex and compassionate ways. If you can think in a “Bad guy” vs “good guy” mentality, you don’t have to challenge or question your own behavior. Life is too complex for people and some of us want to pretend it isn’t and pretend we aren’t terrified of it when we are.
I love this assumption that self-diagnosis is some massive plague and not overwhelmingly the result of neurodivergent people doing intense research and being filled with self doubt about whether they're even right
I really appreciate this post because as a self diagnosed autistic adult (knowing I have 3 autistic kids and a couple siblings a parent and it’s genetic and I can’t afford proper testing 😔) I don’t tell people about this part of myself because those in the community tend to judge me harshly but I really identified with megs story of motherhood being what brought it about and now after years of looking into it it makes so much sense for me in my life so yeah. That’s me and I just wanted to say thanks I felt seen ❤️🤓
It depends on when they tell me about it, it is not gonna look good to tell someone you are autistic while in the middle of an apology for sociopathic behavior. It just is not gonna work. Now if you tell me over a beer or at work when you're just being socially inept, meh I'm good with that.
In general, I do agree with you. However, I will add that there is nuance to the matter, if for no other reason than there is a variety of possible causes for any given symptom and personal circumstance can cause symptoms to overlap and what have you. Not everyone necessarily has done an appropriate amount of research either. So in these regards, the validity of the self-diagnosis can be shaky. This isn't to say a shaky one is false or deceptive; I'm mostly talking about someone who has spent, say, a few hours in a week and jumped to a definitive conclusion.
@@helenejordan3896I’m in the same boat. After each of my kids was diagnosed it occurred to me as someone who shared essentially the same traits. It explains so many things, but it’s not something that I can really pursue for myself atm.
With the asthma metaphor, maybe the person with asthma lives with their mum who also has asthma. But their mum thinks the asthma is normal because it's what she's always had so she doesn't let her child get a proper diagnoses, because she doesn't view it as different and it's exactly how she acted as a child.
I'm not diagnosed with autism. Don't know if I have it either. But I did have issues with reciprocity growing up. I remember not understanding that when someone asks "How are you?" you're supposed to say "What about you?", I would always just say "Good". I figured this out when I was about 15-16? And it's still something I have to consciously think about each time it comes up. Oftentimes I just forget.
Regarding the first clip, I’m in my 50s. I was diagnosed less than two weeks ago. One of the things the assessor mentioned in my report is how I wouldn’t reciprocate their questions. I obviously still don’t know how to properly interact. It is ABSOLUTELY a part of being autistic.
I still have to consciously remind myself to do that. It doesn't come naturally, but it's what people expect and it is fair play, after all. There are very few things that "people expect" that are actually fair, so I like to support the things that are.
@@tealkerberus748I always feel differently about it. Sometimes I'll remember I should do it, other times I won't. In general I struggle with it because I have the natural inclination that if people want to tell me something, they will. If they want to talk about how they've been doing, they will. Since a lot of the time it seems to be evident that people are not at all interested in telling you how they've truly been doing even if other times they have been, but it's still expected to ask even when you don't want to and the other person doesn't want to be asked? I feel like it's a better system for people to just talk about what they want to talk about, and for people to ask questions they are genuinely curious or concerned with.
@@tealkerberus748 I was at a wedding reception last night talking to some people I hadn’t seen in years, and I realized I was not responding back with the socially inane questions to keep the conversation going. It’s almost painful for me to ask those silly questions, but, thinking of this conversation, I did it. 😂
@@AliceBunny05 fair but i would counter with the thought that the kin could have a thing they want to say but want to be talking in general before stating the given thoughts
I think the "issue" with the first vid ties into a tiktok I saw that I think has a lot of truth to it. The gist is that when autistic people hear a general statement like "People like yellow" they think "Yes, there are people who like yellow" but allistic people think "No, not everyone likes yellow/Most people don't like yellow" She said that it was a sign that she should've known she was autistic, so they interpreted that as her _equating_ that experience with being autistic (All autistic people, and only autistic people, do this) when that's not what she meant at all! (Of course, this is in and of itself a generalization and does not apply to all autistic, or allistic, experiences)
Yes- this is so bizarre and frustrating about ever trying to communicate! My dad died in 2008 and I think he was the only person who ever actually understood anything I say. I think I’m relatively good at seeing other’s pov, even if I have to work at it, I like understanding ‘why’. Why it is typical and/or not dis-ordered to hear someone say something and then be focused on the meaning of what they DID NOT SAY… astounds me and is the source of much of my suffering
Bruh, neurotypicals see a general phrase like, "People like yellow" and think it means "all people must like yellow"? That's weird. It's pretty obvious it can just mean, "there are people out there who like yellow". I could see it being intepreted as "people like yellow" = "a person must like yellow" depending on context but in a general use case, no. Person A: "I like hot dogs". Person B: "Ugh, why does anyone like hot dogs. A: People can just have a preference for certain foods. B: But I don't have a preference for it! Not ALL PEOPLE! A: Yes, but I meant that SOME do. It doesn't have to mean "ALL". Do you notice how I didn't use that word?
Have you noticed the awkward nerdy kids in TV & film often have inhalers. Its asthough people have put asthma & autism in the same space!! Both can be misunderstood and trivialised.
I think the movie logic is: Nerdy = autistic, kids with inhalers look nerdy so nerdy autistic kid with inhaler is the trope now. Add ugly glasses broken by a bully and tasteless clohtes to taste.
@@Virtualblueart Inhaler is a nerdy thing now ? 😂 I used to tick most of the nerdy boxes back then, and now that other ones are appeareing, I still tick them
I like being considered a bit quirky. Autism is the source of a lot of my struggles in life. But it’s also the source of a lot of good things in life and just my personality as a whole. I wouldn’t change my personality drastically. I only want to try and get a bit better at certain things like socialising, but I don’t want to become an extrovert. And for all the shortcomings it has in society, I like my quirky brain. It is the source of my creativity and authenticity, which I think are some of my defining traits (though having come to a recent realisation that I mask more than I thought, I’m a bit unsure about how authentic my authenticity actually is). My quirky brain attracts a few people, but the right kind of people. It makes me see things differently. I often take pictures at different angles and see people copying that afterwards. I’m often the one who makes a lot of puns (of varying quality). My true self, which I don’t openly display as much as I’d like, definitely defies norms. And on the whole, I just don’t care about things or people being considered popular by others. I like what I like and don’t pretend to like something I don’t like. As for the term ‘neurospicy’, I understand how it can be demeaning. Personally, I feel pretty indifferent towards it. Spicy perhaps does have an inclination of intentionally being different, or having chosen to be different. Which of course isn’t the case with autism. I do like joking about autism a bit. Especially with a fellow autistic friend. Autism Spectrum Disorder’s abbreviation in Dutch is ASS, so we can joke about each other’s ASS. It’s good to just have a laugh about autism sometimes. You’re going to live with it either way.
THANK YOU for saying all this!!! i’m not autistic, but i have migraines and endometriosis and they affect my life on a near daily basis. i tell people i have them almost immediately BECAUSE it makes my life very different from a “normal” person. i can’t be in loud places, i can’t do certain physical activities, and i often can’t plan things in advance because i never know if today is gonna be a 16 hour bed day or not. it’s hard when people don’t understand it and just label me as lazy or a bad friend. i’m trying my best. ALSO thank you for mentioning that people can have the same diagnosis but struggle in different ways. endometriosis comes in 4 or 5 stages and someone presenting at stage 1 might have worse pain than someone at stage 4. it’s extremely individualized (the stages just represent how much of the reproductive organs are covered in gunk)… so you truly never know unless you ARE that person. so just trust people, they probably know more about their OWN BODY than you do lol
Holy shit I feel you so much, especially with the “I don’t know if today is going to be a 16 hour sleep day or not” THAT IS SO ACCURATE TO MY BRAIN! I often describe my own energy levels and emotions as “rolling a DnD dice” my brain acts like a gambling machine almost all the time. Sometimes I roll near a twenty and I have a decent day and other times I roll a one and I sleep the day away. It’s literally uncontrollable, I cannot control how my brain will react and or function via my energy levels!
The "You can't be autistic, you're too happy" bs just reminded me of a call my Pain Management Dr got from the pharmacy about one of her patients possibly faking/not needing meds bc she was always "Happy & polite" Happy to break it everyone:9 no matter how bad the pain is you simply can not scream and cry all the time. Eventually you realize it's not helping, in fact it's hurting/increasing the pain & you learn to live, love & laugh despite the pain. Being happy doesn't equal being pain-free. Just as being happy doesn't equal never-struggles, able-bodied, etc. To state the obvious: Autistic people/anyone can indeed be disabled _and_ happy 😱🎉🤯🥳
Also, a lot of us learn that if we want to get what we need and want, it behooves us to present as eloquent, clean-cut, pleasant, polite, reasonable, non-aggressive, sympathetic, and likable.
@@dinosaysrawr In other words, if you want to survive in the allistic abled world, mask like you're allistic and abled. Then they think we're faking it because we act like allistic abled people.
@@dinosaysrawr No kidding! Not sure if you have chronic pain, autism or both. I'm both. Luckily, my wife makes my life as stress free as possible - which helps a _lot!_ I hope you have the support you need too 🫂
This and fatlogic. These subreddits disguised as "concern" for people that are just bullying others are crazy. I can't imagine being so miserable as to interact with these communities on the daily.
These people are too cowardly to outright just say “I’m a bully and proud” and instead hide behind a mask of “I’m trying to help” Yeah nah. At least you know how to avoid someone who knows they’re an A hole, these people are harder to call out.
27:35 I've already commented on another instance when it happened, but you seem to mix up/relate together Bipolar And BPD (bordeline personality disorder) when apart the fact that they sound similar, have little in common. Bipolar is a mood disorder (like depression) when BPD is a personality disorder
real like whenever someone calls it out the ableist people there come running. “I’m autistic and i agree with them” autistic people can be ableist too, even to each other. It’s so stupid
Had to cut off contact with an uncle who insisted I was faking even after I got diagnosed. He kept trying to convince my mum that I’m just selfish and lazy and that she shouldn’t provide me with any support. I’m still autistic, and I still have a super supportive family, despite his efforts lol
its weird. its like those people think autism is some sort of club and not something that people genuinely struggle with. like, no babe, it's not a quirky makeup look or a song (not saying autistic peoples special interest can't be one of these, im mainly talking about the glamorization of it influencers are doing, trust me i love doing clown makeup and will listen to 3-4 songs repeatedly for MONTHS), its something that can make you have a meltdown over something as simple as your hair being in your face.
@@turtleburger200 I'm not the original commenter but sometimes when I'm already pretty overwhelmed/stressed out, a little thing can be enough to be the last straw that makes my meldown happend So if for this person, the feeling of their hair on their face is a sensorial discomfort then having to deal with one more sensory issue can send them into meltdown (since they said "your hair", I think they didn't meant only one hair, just the feeling of all the hairs touching your face)
I got a lot of hate on that subreddit from saying “hey, I’m actually diagnosed with autism and this person is very likely to have it too” and everyone was saying “how can you diagnose someone from a video” but like… they were the ones that were trying to diagnose someone from a 60 second video…
lol the asthma example. I have asthma and one day a kid in my gym class asked why I need my inhaler when there’s air all around, he thought that it just gave air directly into my mouth not thinking that it had medicine inside it. He wasn’t condescending about it and genuinely learned something new that day.
Nothing better than taking what was used against you for decades and finally embracing it. It won't go away, so learning to love it is such a healing experience.
My autistic daughter also finds something to compliment whenever she feels awkward. Many people smile when their hair/shirt/scrunchy/makeup/dress is complimented. If conversation will happen, it’s usually more relaxed afterwards.
This is how I somehow ended up with a recent encounter turning into the customer I was checking out giving me her stegosaurus necklace. I had to superglue the little stone in place so it wouldn’t keep falling out, but it was a rather pleasant, though awkward, interaction. LOL
so from my understanding, this subreddit is full of people who think they're psychiatrists and feel like they have the right to tell a bunch of other people, who also think they're psychiatrists on some level, on whether or not somebody is neurodivergent as if they've personally sat down and assessed said somebody when they don't and also thinking that self diagnosis isn't valid. self diagnosis is intense research about something that helps people get the diagnosis they need. or at least try and figure out what they might have if they're not in the right place to get a diagnosis. so... nobody can win with this subreddit
I told someone that I am autistic in a conversation, and they said, "oh, but you don't seem awkward."...I said I actually do feel quite awkward in social conversations, and she just kept trying to say I was doing fine. Ugh, I just had wanted to let them know if I'm doing something they may find odd, I am not trying to make them uncomfortable
I've been posted to that subreddit so MANY times and at this point I think it just exists as a "hey let's point and laugh at people who don't fit MY view of the disorder" (Literally once got posted for a tumblr talking about how we live with hEDS because, as the person put it, "my girlfriend has it, she said it doesn't work that way" meanwhile a friend got posted for "experiencing autism wrong". The subreddit is just there to harass)
self diagnosis has to be done well and properly, however this notion that people paint where there's a mass influx of young people self misdiagnosing after taking two quizzes is just delusional.
also just completely misunderstanding younger people. they try on different identities, looking to see what fits and makes them comfortable. it’s a part of growing up and discovering yourself. inevitably, some may find that they are actually autistic, and the ones who don’t will move on. but no, there isn’t a bunch of teens running around claiming autism just because.
@@robotortoiseUm, I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding you, but to clarify for the OP, they are saying that we *should* be less sceptical about teenagers saying they're autistic, because it's not true that there's a lot of teens whimsically self-diagnosing as autistic after barely any research. So, we should listen to teens when they say they think they might be autistic and take them seriously, and, you know, help them.
@@megan-mr9vkThis is just like how trans people do. Try on different identities to see what fits. And there is also the conspiracy about "every kid is becoming trans now a days" which is unfounded and untrue. Unfortunately, every minority is told this. "Everyone wants to be like you (this is a bad thing?) and they're all confused and you're making them x/y/z."
I don’t like telling anyone I am on the spectrum and have several disorders. It is constant scrutiny and judgement. What made me sad is a friend who I started to trust and I let down my guard said the words I hate. “You are being so loud” “Can you calm down” “You’re embarrassing me” “Did you take your medication”. I don’t want friends any more. I just want to be alone.
I get what you feel, it hard to be different from the normies, but maybe if you still want them to be friends itt will help if you ask that friend if you can have a serious conversation about it one time where you explain how those words hurt you and why you are like you are.
this is emotionally painful, im sorry for what you'e been through. i had experiences like hearing these words too, but not from a trusted friend, so to think about your feelings at the time makes me so sad. hope you enjoy your time and if you like, find great friends 🍎 (i like this emoji so im putting it as a heart...) (sorry for my english).
I feel this; it’s unbelievably heartbreaking. Also, my 81yo mother started to say all those things less often just in the past 6 months. I think one of her friends might’ve said something to her bc lord knows she never took me seriously when I told her it wasn’t ok. Bananas that I’m proud of her for trying? I wish no one ever disappointed you like that
Screw them. (I hate people like that. If they want to be friends let them come crawling back with a nothing less than perfect apology and even then, still screw them.)
The one that gets me is when I explain the lack of eye contact and disjointed conversation with "sorry, it's just the autism showing" people feel the need to explain how they know a toddler with autism and how they emotionally explode and are near impossible to handle our endure. Are they implying I can't be autistic because I seem almost normal? Or are they trying to open a conversation by showing they have some familiarity with the subject??? Either way, I've rehearsed my response in case I ever feel comfortable enough to tell anyone I'm autistic and they give me that song and dance with this: "yeah, I can imagine what my parents went through, but at least I can show there's hope with enough training that a normal life can be achieved. It's still very difficult and I try very hard so nobody can see how hard it is for me though." Maybe then I can give advice of what I had hoped people could have done for me as a child? Like, give them at least 10 minutes to calm down, orient themselves and digest what happened, then explain in great detail what the world expects them to show. This is where your eyes go, this is what your face does, this is what you do with your hands, etc...
as someone who actually has asthma i have had the condition delegitimized in the exact same way as my autism. that it's basically "gone" and it's not "serious enough" when i say it makes it difficult for me to exercise bc i'm not having the same level of attacks i had when i was younger, just like i'm not as socially inept as i was when i was, like, five. i've been told to "just exercise more" plenty to get over the fact that i struggle to breathe when exercising too much (even though it's under the diagnostic metric that asthma can be triggered BY EXERCISE). same thing with my autism, i just need to get over the fact that i struggle to get organized, or can't pick up hints. i just think it's funny that these people on reddit are acting like physical disabilities or conditions are treated any better lmao also self-diagnosing with asthma is something you absolutely can do lol how do you think some adults find out they were asthmatic their whole lives?
My boyfriend was extremely sick as a kid, like full asthmatic. Spent months on the hospital because of it. Now I've never seen him have an asthma attack, and he does normal exercises and stuff and it's completely fine. I would kick anyone who told him he's cured
i'm not asthmatic, but i have a lot of headaches and frequent migraines (don't know what it's caused by or what's the name of the condition because doctors don't listen to me). they're also triggered by exercise. when they first appeared i tried to just "exercise them out" because i was doing sports at the time, but then i had to stop because i just kept getting worse with no treatment. now i don't exercise at all and i constantly get told by ome family members and doctors that i should and that it's all my fault in the first place because i didn't exercise enough and that i should just learn to push through the pain. like how does any of this make any sense?? (btw i also have trauma relating to sports and exercise being tied to morals and just in general being worthy of existing, so their comments are not helping at all, treatment and support would probably help, but i'm not getting any of those any time soon)
@@snowkr3580 Last time I checked,, it's pretty hard to exercise if you CAN'T BREATHE. I'm sorry you have to deal with people you should be able to trust being so stupid
I had an incredibly close friend from middle school all the way to high school. The speed at which they lost all respect for me when I got my autism diagnosis was genuinely heartbreaking. People don't realize how fucking hurtful it is to tell someone they're faking.
I had a friend who was diagnosed with autism, and so many people avoided her. One of my friends moms said they shouldn’t hang out with her because she’d “drag everyone down socially”. It was so sad and cruel since she was such a sweet person. She moved away, and god I miss her.
I always thought/felt it was nosey to ask people personal questions, always felt uncomfortable but obligated to answer others’ questions of me. I’m 55 and have only learned in the last year that people tend to like being asked questions and I’ve spent too long thinking it’s rude to ask questions that I feel too uncomfortable about it to change. I think if someone wants to tell me something they will, otherwise it’s not my business to pry.
Same!! I just realized this within the past year and have no plans of changing bc I’m exhausted from a lifetime of trying to change for everyone. I’m 47. It seems to make the most sense to say something if you want, don’t if u don’t. I despise being asked questions esp personal, I always golden-ruled it too
I'm 46 and just have learnt one has to return questions (except "how are you?"). If one wants to tell something about themselves, they may ask a question, hear an answer and then say: "Well, and I (am going to spend my holidays or else) like this..." It's quite socially acceptable and doesn't make anyone think of an interrogation 😂.
@@elsiest.irvyne9515 I’m kind of done with ‘socially acceptable’ at this point in my life. I don’t even care if someone I’ve never met before and never going to meet again thinks I’m rude, they can think what they like. I know if I’m not intending to be rude and if they want to take it another way I’m not going to waste my energy on arguing the toss. It’s not often I’m in a situation where there are going to be consequences if I don’t engage in reciprocal meaningless small talk. I’m more concerned about my interactions with other ND peeps. In those instances I genuinely care about how they are, what they are up to, and it feels awkward in a different way to ask those small talk questions but I can just say ‘genuine question’ or something and that’s okay.
Hey, not autistic but a really big fan of this video. I have DID which is probably the most commonly mocked disorder on that subreddit and every day it feels so disheartening to see members of the DID community harassed because people assume they're faking over things like... sharing their experiences or just making jokes about their condition. I really resonated with this video hearing you talk about things like these people getting mad over people making jokes about / having a sense of humor about their condition, or the notion that we have to be sad all the time to be even slightly considered someone who "really has" the disorder. Places like FDC are the very reason I'm very private about my condition, though I wish I could find the courage to be more candid and spread awareness about the way I/we live without the fear of an online hate campaign. All in all, that subreddit is an awful place. I've never been posted there but the notion terrifies me. I'm honestly shocked and abhorred that reddit still allows such a mask-off safe space for bullying disabled and neurodivergent people because a couple of online losers personally think that they're faking their condition based on a ten-second video clip.
I think videos like this really help out mental health and disabled communities at a whole, because a lot of us don’t have a very strong online presence as a community the same way the autistic community does. Don’t have a diagnosis? You’re faking, even if you never claimed one to have one to begin with. Act the wrong way? You’re faking. Breath in a way that most people don’t like? You’re faking. I hate fakedisordercringe so bad. I have not been called every name under the sun and denied treatment again and again to have my life deemed a JOKE because I don’t fit into the mold of what someone with my problem does. This work helps us all in that regard
11:24 Autism isn't "technically labeled as a disorder" it is a disorder. Saying that kinda takes away from it being a disability. Autism is a disability and that's neither a positive or a negative thing.
I was diagnosed later in my teens with autism, and I think it’s because my stims (rubbing fabric, mostly satin like materials with my hands/on my face) were very subtle compared to “typical” (like the hand flapping, also in quotation because idk if that’s the right wording) stims, and I was a very quiet and reserved kid. I’ve been told by some people who were diagnosed that autism is uncommon to be diagnosed in teen years so I don’t have it, so I wanted to share this and let people who were told the same thing know that their struggles are valid and there’s people out there who will be there to share experiences and feelings with. You’re not alone :)
Autism can be diagnosed at any age - early childhood, later childhood, teens, any decade of adulthood. And a lot of us have very subtle stims that nobody would recognise as a stim or sometimes nobody would even realise we're doing - like tensing and relaxing a muscle without actually moving that limb.
My autism has been invisible to the outside world for most of my life. I got a late diagnosis that made me realise I had constructed a set of masks to wear with certain people and in certain situation without really realising it. It was quite the revelation.
I am recently late-diagnosed, and if you don't mind me asking, since your revelation have you found conversating much more difficult? Such as a difficulty in answering questions (like this one), perhaps developing multiple responses if text and having difficulty in choosing between them?
I complained about this to my Social Security assesor and she said there's some law that they have to do reassessments every few years. Which doesn't mean it's not a stupid law, but at least there's _a_ reason they do it, I guess.
16:00 I personally self diagnosed myself with depression and anxiety because im scared to not be put in a mental rehabilitation or even jail so its a better option
21:40 I have Chronic bone pain. No one knows what it is. No doctors can figure it out, Xray's clean, blood work normal, everything's normal. Iv had this since i was 5. THATS def an invisible illness. Iv never doubted anyone's pain bec just bec you cant see someone's suffering, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We've even dont brain scans and nothing. We dont know why my bones hurt and intense medication does NOTHING. iv been crying myself to sleep when the pain triggers for over 20 years, im only 26. your never to young to "be sick". Newborns get cancer diagnoses... :( Never let anyone medically gas light you and tell you "its not bad enough". especially if IT IS DIBILITATING.
Gosh, I want to ask so many questions to help get to the bottom of it. You shouldn't have to live like that. Sending so many comforting vibes. Take care, and may someone find an answer and treatment for you very soon.
I deeply feel the mental and physical suffer of chronic hidden pain i'm25 and it's been 8 years of everyday every seceand headech that don't have a reason. I wish everyday to just have a tumor or such,that explain this pain and then i CAN get treatment. and no one really gets it bz you don't show the pain, bz it's chronic and if you show it every time you are in pain,u will be a dramaqueen. And bz it's chronic your pain tolerance get higher then average I swear they can not live a day with the pain we are living with all our life
@@TheCloverAffiliate12thankyou ♡ i wish i knew even who to ask. 3 specialist and none of them can agree. One thinks is Fibro, the other thinks the idea is redonk, and the other just is medicating me hoping smth sticks :/
@@parisadr5142its hinestly trash that unless you have a visable lump or turning green you arent "sick enough." 🎉everyone deserves to feel well enough to preform basic needs🎉 Pls remember that you arent alone~~ Try *Your* best, even if it dosnt seem like much at all ❤ your enough.
@@darkdest6664 Of course! ❤ Yeah, none of those seem to be very helpful approaches at all. You don't have to say whether you've done this or not if you don't feel comfortable, but perhaps a geneticist could be of some help to see if something is going on on that small of a scale?
This subteddit is why i refuse to post anything about having DID online, because I know they target systems alot on there, and I fear the harassment if i dont present "properly" to them. It sucks because I have no real outlet to be open about it, but the thought of being called fake and targetted because im not miserable all the time or am a little cringe with it makes me want to crawl in a hol and stick to pretending we dont exist. I have been diagnosed for two years now, though aware of it for alot longer, but i doubt stating that would make any difference to these bullies. Oh well.
Maybe try writing a blog? It could be just to write out what you want to, it doesn't have to be public and maybe talk to friends and family about it? Family could be bio or found family
@@purplealpaca9278 I have very few people in my life that know about me having DID, my roommates, obviously are aware, and one of them is a system herself. My bio family, for my safety, can't know the full extent of what I go through. I did have a blog on Tumblr for a while, but have kinda abandoned it for some time now., and even when I did use it, I was very sparse in my posts. Maybe I'll return to it at some point. Neither my face nor full name are on it luckily.
Oh my god, thank you for discussing this! Attitudes from fake disorder cringe have crept around everywhere. From autism to DID to personality disorders. People saying they're defending people who 'really have (insert community here)' while points boil down to the same rhetoric you usually hear from abelist spaces. Its a little concerning honestly, as it feels like these communities were built on putting people down and muddying up information (eg. Saying a real symptom of a condition isn't a symptom, usually out of ignorance). Yes, there are videos that spread misinformation, but alot of the time fake disorder cringe comes down to ignoring the lived experience of a person and denying their identity. Its like neurodiverse people are never allowed to be happy, and people are trying to take happiness from them by denying they have the condition at all and demeaning them. I've also seen it in neurodiverse communities as well. It worried me because the people who tend to doubt a diagnosis the most is people who actually have the disorder and I really hope this doesn't stop people from understanding themselves. I might make a video about this subject in the future too
I got diagnosed earlier this year with both autism and ADHD (although the elderly psychologist said Aspbergers and ADD, which my doctor told me were outdated). People posting about their autism and ADHD is what inspired me to seek a diagnosis. So, I'm thankful for people who posted shorts about their symptoms because that's what led to me seeking what's up with me. It also helped my sister get diagnosed with ADHD because my grandma didn't believe autism or ADHD existed until the psychologist explained what it was in EXCRUCIATING detail.
I also don't get the if someone has a disability that means they can never be happy or content. Having a disability doesn't mean you have to be miserable all the time. It just means you may need accommodations & extra help/support with something. Yes having a disability does make life harder but it doesn't mean it should consume every aspect of someone's life & I don't get people saying something is infantizing people with disabilities just because beautiful. Personally I would rather have a butterfly representing my neurodivergency than a puzzle piece with the exception of if it is a puzzle piece that has one of my special interests on it because then it would show my love of puzzles & a special interest like video games, horror, wolves, or sharks
I have chronic bone pain. Iv had it for 20 years. If i didnt make jokes about it or just laugh at the sheer insanity of my idiot doctors being inconsitant when trying to diagnose the problem, id be unalived. 😂 LET PPL BLOW OFF STEAM ffs. stop policing ppls humor.😂
Makes sense with how deeply rooted ableism has been in European society way before they ever colonized America. It’s still basically barely any better than it was in the 1700s in many ways, as I’ve begun to learn about US disability lack of rights, protections, and laws.
Oh goodness… this happened to me too many a time… Acquaintance: ”Soooo, aren’t you going to ask about my summer holiday?” Me: ”No. I am not interested in what you did.” And people did not understand why i was so RUDE. DAFUQ, I WAS JUST BEING HONEST! Because ”honesty is the best policy”! Ughhhhh. Yeah. The signs were there all this time…. #latediagnosed
If I ask anyone about something to be nice, I just then sit there…. Not knowing what to reply with because I just do not care in the slightest aaahhhhhhhh
🐅 Use my code Meg2024 for 20% off your entire Wild order! 🐅 : bit.ly/MEGWILD
What do you think? Is autism in fact a rainbow butterfly? 🦋
Does the fake disorder cringe reaction to the word ‘neurspicy’ change your opinion on the word/song?
Should I get uterus earrings?
All the big questions!
Thank you sooo very much for being here, as always! This channel is the most wonderful distraction at the moment and I am so grateful for it 💛🐌
If you want to cringe at fake disorder cringe some more, here’s my previous reaction: th-cam.com/video/ZTqDgAjdPeA/w-d-xo.html
UTERUS EARRINGS??? 😟
Do you sell bathtub water?
@@dia_autrice 😂Might make sense in a minute
I would Love to See a day or a week in my life vlog style video 🙂❤️
Uterus earrings? Yes. But please be kind to the rest of the crew. I want female repro collage earrings! An extravagant homage to our amazing bodies! 😅❤
"I hate the fact that there is the implication that the only way to be taken seriously as truly disabled is to be miserable." 👏👏👏 So well said Meg.
This is so real. I have an invisible disability on top of having ADHD (no diagnosed autism but I love the channel lol and many things I can relate to by virtue of having ADHD) and the amount of times people would tell me I'm not "really disabled" only to see me in a massive flare up and go "you look sick..." is astounding! Like no shit I look sick, I'M ILL.
i see it so often and it's frustrating. someone can talk about how autism doesn't need to be cured (which it doesn't, even if it were physically possible to do, it's not a disease to be cured) or talk about how they like themselves how they are and 10 people will come rushing out of the woodwork like "well i HATE being autistic, i HATE my life, i want to be cured!!" which...that's sad, but that's not the majority of people and shouldn't be treated like the standard. it might be rude but it literally is a them problem and not anyone else's, not everyone needs to be miserable just because they are.
i often am miserable. people don’tvwant to hear about it. 😂 they don’tvlike being gorced to accept you as you are
And then when people are in fact miserable they will still claim it's all too stereotypical and fake.
Yeah, I am miserable, but I do not like to show it and that's because I mask to be accepted. People in general don't wanna hear about your misery anyway.
I'm not even sure what they mean by "infantilizing" autism at this point. It seems like "you're doing something I deem childlike and I don't like it" rather than "you're treating autistic people like children that don't have any capacity for intelligence or responsibility"
My paternal side of the family always tried to infantalize my brother "He doesn't know any better" when he was younger and then would bully me when I stood up for my brother cause they were looking down on him. Both my brother and I are Autistic
Yep, what you are describing is the problem version: someone infantilising someone else, judging them to be incapable due to behaviors that might accompany cognitive limitations but do not define it. Loving plushies or joyful summing, for instance, might look like a child’s behavior, but it is not an actual indicator of capacity for intellectual functioning. It’s associative. I’m terrible at joyful behaviors, but this doesn’t mean I fit the stereotype of the grim autistic genius. It means I’m generally depressive.
The other way “infantilising” gets invoked is when people complain that, by exhibiting certain behaviors, an autistic individual is feeding other people’s stereotypes. But the onus should never be on the person exhibiting the behavior. Yes, it may reinforce stereotypes in some people’s minds, but the problem there is not the autistic person’s behavior, it’s the dynamic I describe above - the person holding the stereotype is the one that needs to make cognitive adjustments. Trying to refute stereotypes by making sure no one ever exhibits them is absolutely backwards. It gives the stereotype more power, not less.
My theory is that they’ve internalized the notion that childlike things are shameful and they have to hide their own traits at all costs, so they resent that other people have the freedom to indulge them openly and be celebrated for it.
LITERALLY! THEY'RE the ones infantilising autism! It's crude projection!
I hate that like my brother in Christ the self Infantalizarion is The Trait of The Disorder. That's the Point.
Can't bulive people think your faking a disorder by having a disorder.
What I've learned through this subreddit and it's inhabitants:
You can't share positivity about your autistic experience. You can't share your struggles either. You can't show stimming - but also if you don't stim, it means you are not autistic. You cannot show meltdowns and shutdowns, because you are faking it. But you also cannot NOT show them, because otherwise you don't struggle. You can't wear colourful clothes and act "childish", because it's infantilising. But you also can't be all serious and composed, because it means you are not autistic.
After all of that AND my personal experience, I have a question.
Why would I want to conform and try my best to appear "normal" when all these people want is to dislike me no matter what I do?
What they seem to want is for you to just present and tell everyone you're neurotypical.
It's hard to tell what they want.
That's what narcissists act, they want to abuse and bully you and make you think you're the problem but in reality they are insecure inside and are always looking for an external emotional punching bag. Anyone that frequents any bullying community online shows that their true nature they just disguise their hatred as something that's justified and project their narcissism onto others calling others narcissists, it's really pathetic once you realize what these people's intentions truly are you shouldn't pay any Narcissist any attention because that's whay they are looking for negative or positive. Just look at any comment in any of these hateful communities are you can feel how unempathetic they are compared to any community that's just discussing their own disability, you always find the most kind hearted people that doesn't put anyone down like these hellhole of comment threads
This!!! This!!!! Omg I couldn’t have put it better than this!!! None of it makes any logical sense!!!!
And why is it so many people think that all autistic individuals are the same? I’ve met so many people think that they know autism because they’ve met one person with autism and when I don’t present the same, they act like I’m just trying to be an issue because I’m not an exact clone of the person they know with autism
@@HelloHamburger i feel like they want ND people to not show themselves. Think about it - they shame every single aspect of being autistic in TitTok, like trying to squeeze neurodivergent people out of it by creating a false sense of "you will be judged by everyone no matter what"
At least that's what I observed idk
It's literally people being the autism police and most of them are NT
Controversial opinion but the sudden panic about autistic people being 'diagnosed by tiktok' is doing nothing but harm to the autistic community. Fakeclaiming is becoming acceptable in places it never was before and I can't say anything about my day to day life without someone saying "Akshually, doing x doesn't mean you're autistic, you should do more research and consult with a doctor before diagnosing yourself". Funnily enough, they never respond when they find out I was diagnosed by a panel of NHS psychiatrists at age 7. Honestly I'd much rather deal with the annoyance of a few non-autistic 15 year olds mistaking their anxiety for autism then moving on after a year than this god damn policing.
YES I agree so much. Fakeclaiming is straight up new form of bullying and it's ableistic as fuck
This shouldn't be a controversial opinion, you are correct
I literally see no problem with self-diagnosing??? Like self-diagnosing is how people start looking into an actual diagnosis, no?? It’s not even people claiming they have these conditions, from my understanding, it’s just that they suspect they might have them. I feel like it’s easy to resolve by offering them support until they get the actual diagnosis and move on instead of getting mad at them…
Honestly yes. It‘s like ‚transvestigating‘ but for neurodivergencies.
Fakeclaiming is like this loophole for assholes:
1) bully someone for ND traits
2) claim they are not ND
3) no one can call you ableist if bullied person (according to you) doesn‘t have a disability
4) profit
I also HATE how I feel like this policing is making us regress in terms of diagnosing marginalised groups like women and BIPOC. Also reminds me of the whole issue with respectability politics.
Hard agreed, as far as I know I am diagnosed with Asperger's, but all of the stuff about "People claiming they are Autistic to be quirky or smth" certainly doesn't make my Impostor Syndrome any better 💀
Everyone who ever went to a Doctor & said "I think I might have...", had to 'self diagnose' first.
Literally. If I hadn't self-diagnosed with an autoimmune illness and asked my endo to check for it, I wouldn't have been diagnosed and I wouldn't be receiving any kind of treatment as of now (and this is after being dismissed for 2 years by other doctors)
I'm waiting for r/FakeFluCringe with stuffy nose upvotes and wadded-up Kleenex downvotes because I've definitely not had the flu and suspected I did
no lmao you go to the doctor to GET a diagnosis that may or may not be what you thought. saying "I think" it's not the same as going to the doctor's appointment and saying "hey, I have pneumonia, medicate me"
@@sappyzap They never said they only said everyone at some point who tells a Dr I think I might have this going on is self evaluating
Actual self diagnosis isn’t bad, it’s “self diagnosis” through quirky “if you like purple you have autism!!!” videos and not actual medical sources
shout-out to the ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGIST who said i wasnt autistic because I asked if she was okay. I was diagnosed when I was six. It wasn't even what the appointment was about...
😬 I’m sorry!
that's WILD 💀
Bruh? That-
All I can say is just.. bruh.
There are some very unprofessional therapists out there. It's hard to weed them out if you don't really know what to look for.
@@imautisticnowwhat Oh you don't need to apologize! Some people are just cringe. Like that psychologist! She was cringe
Imagine if I made a post saying I broke my wrist in an accident and people started foaming at the mouth and screaming at me for glorifying broken bones...
That's it, that's this subreddit.
erm, that's not how braking a wrist looks like, you're just faking it for attention
@@yoyo777 "probably self-diagnosed, I bet he just bought that cast off tiktok shop"
"You're faking tour broken wrist!.. alsow people with broken wrists are cringe lol 😂"
Self diagnosed!!! Stop bending your arm in the middle of a long bone like that, it's WEIRD. You're attention seeking and taking services away from people with REAL broken bones.
“well when I broke my wrist my experience was different so you’re probably faking it”
Being socially awkward doesn’t MEAN you’re autistic.
But if you ARE autistic, you’re gonna be (or have been before you learned to change the behavior) socially awkward.
for me personally i learned to lean into the autism and keep things jovial. if i dont know how to respond to a question i legit just start talking about food, animals, or air planes, or ask whoever i'm talking to about any of those subjects. a lot of people actually enjoy the suddenness of the exchange.
not true, we a re social different, not awkward. i communicate with my peers on the spectrum perfectly fine. thats like saying a neurotypical person is socially awkward cause they dont get along well with an autistic.
Exactly. It's the whole conversation of: "Correlation is not causation". Just because they are related, does not mean one causes the other. In this case, just because autistic people or people with autism can be and generally are socially awkward, does not mean that being socially awkward makes you autistic.
Me, this defines me a lot! I have trouble starting conversations that don't have something to do with my interestsTwT
@@laraprisma6381 example: me and my bioyfriend can talk about metal for hours or me and my bestie about kpop but anything i dont cae about will be boring. i dont generally like most movies but if its one i like ( like deadpool or something ) i will yap for a LONG time
The asthma one is infuriating because I would agree there are a surprising amount of parallels. I have a friend who wasn't diagnosed with asthma until later in life, decades after her son had been diagnosed with asthma as a child, because asthma, like autism, is under diagnosed and under treated in women and marginalized racial groups. And until she got an asthma diagnosis people treated her getting winded and tired easily as some sort of moral failing for not being more physically fit.
What the person in the skit should be saying is "Are you sure you're asthmatic? You don't look asthmatic. You should just try breathing better." because those are the people making it harder to get a diagnosis, they're the "friends" who make you question your lived experiences and the doctors that don't believe you're in pain, they're not the people who are self-diagnosing.
'I think everyone has a hard time breathing sometimes!'
I got my asthma diagnostic at 20 because "it's just because you don't exercice enough" (in a family were everyone does sport and the fact I was doing half a day walks with my family since I was like 6)
Apparently even me having a worse time than people with diagnosticed asthma was not a sign enough (except for that one PE teacher)
I’m asthmatic, though well-controlled, as well as four forms of neurodivergent (ADHD-PI southpaw autistic twice-exceptional), and I’ve pointed out that there’s a ton of this kind of garbage, especially historically, even about something so clearly physical. “Oh, you don’t really need that inhaler. What if the steroids stunt my child’s growth? Are you sure it’s not mostly anxiety? Why are so many kids getting diagnosed with asthma all of a sudden??? I’m not asthmatic, I’m just out of shape! I can’t be asthmatic; it would ruin my whole life!”. (The last one was actually said by my ex-husband, who had apparently forgotten I’d been diagnosed a year earlier and was living life as before.) 😑
My family has a history of asthma, my mum knew I had it at age 1.5, but it took until I was about 3 for a diagnosis
Having to “prove” my identity is so exhausting. I have autism, ADHD, DID, and a fainting disorder. I’ve been told so many times that “no, you’re not fainting, you’re just tired.” And to stop making a scene. I’ve been told numerous times that my DID isn’t real because of how large the faking DID scene was in 2020 or so.
TBH I don’t always tell people about my disorders, I only say it as a reasoning for behavior. I say up front that I have DID and a fainting disorder. Especially my fainting disorder because one wrong fall and I could die. Imagine if I had to prove everytime that I had my fainting disorder. How? It’s a fainting disorder. What do you want me to do? Faint on command or something?
It’s useless to constantly say “you can’t be/have _____ because you do/have ______”. People are diverse, people have different experiences, especially with disorders that are a spectrum like autism. If you’re not a doctor specialized in autism, you don’t get to say if someone has autism or not. And even than you cannot diagnose someone with ONE TIKTOK.
I TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS! I have autism, adhd a few learning disabilities and leg issues. I can't count how many times people have said that I'm faking because you apparently can only have one disorder!? I've even been told that I can't have all these things and be gay and trans!?!??! Like what does that have to do with anything?!
@@AKASunWukong fr. as if living with these conditions isn’t hard enough already
People get so weird about DID, especially. I know someone who is able to talk with their alters and they figured out a way to co-exist and work together, and someone said "your friend doesn't have DID" because they're able to talk and stuff
I haven't even read the entire comment and already feel disgusted for the people you've interacted with - I'm absolutely not the most useful but I had someone with epilepsy in my comp (11-16 years old) who I helped through absent seizures (she was able to stay stood up and would make noises so we had to keep an eye on her) so I'm used to asking if you need anything after waking up and getting that, noting down times, etc..
“You have a fainting disorder? Faint right now,” People are fucked.
“Reinforcing stereotype” has become such an excuse to not do or show traits which can be interpreted as negative… it’s just showing people cannot accept true diversity when that diversity is no longer only about good and positive things, but about the “weird” “ugly “bad” traits, or just ones you cannot understand. Also if someone is taking all their knowledge about autiam from one tiktok it really doesn’t matter what you show, it’s the person who is the problen
It's bad when used against LGBTQ+ people and other races but it's definitely worse being used against neurodivergant people. Neurodivergant people have no control over what symptoms and traits we have, especially when it's those symptoms and traits that literally define the mental health issues. They've literally made a no win scenario, if you don't XYZ traits then you're lying but if you do...well you're still lying because it's too "stereotypical".
It's most likely this sub was made with ableist silencing as it's only purpose. Literally "I don't like disabled people, especially happy ones so I'm going to try to bully them into silence so I can ignore them". Like when bigots complain about gay people "making it their whole personality", it's just a dog whistle for "be quiet so I don't have to acknowledge you.
Yup, the only stereotype that shouldn't be reinforced is that Autism can or should be cured.
It reminds me of the episode of The Good Doctor when Shaun has a meltdown because the head of the surgery department doesn't want him as a surgeon, and Shaun repeatedly screams "I AM A SURGEON" and some people were making fun of that scene and saying it wasn't a realistic portrayal. But then you have other autistic people saying, "Well, MY meltdowns look like that. Can we not make fun of people whose meltdowns look like that?"
Every autistic person is different, and making fun of certain ways in which someone's autism manifests is not okay. I'm not the biggest supporter for the show because they work with autism speaks, but this is one thing I will defend about the character.
@@juliar2462 Yup, the only stereotype that shouldn't be reinforced is that it can or should be cured.
it's respectability politics at its finest
Wild to me that these kinds of people say “you can’t self diagnose yourself after watching one TikTok video!” (Not even how it works) but they think they can say someone’s NOT autistic after watching one TikTok video about them
so real. they say "you cant tell if youre autistic or not from one tiktok!!!" (which again is not how it works) but they think they can tell if someone ELSE is autistic from one tiktok????
Once I heard someone say "if self diagnosis isn't valid then neither is your peer undiagnosis" and I think that rings especially true with this lot.
I self-diagnosed myself with autism because my friend (who is autistic) shared a LOT of traits with me, and after a while it stopped feeling like "oh what a coincidence!" and more like "oh I should probably get that checked." Lo and behold, years later I get tested, and I am VERY MUCH autistic. Honestly never understood people who get mad about self-diagnosis; I know me better than anyone.
@@flynnfarron exactly! Very often, self diagnosis is the first step to actually getting diagnosed.
Like if you saw someone’s TikTok about how there knee hurts and you realise that’s exactly how your knee hurts… but you haven’t been to doctor because you thought it was normal…. and when you tell anyone that this might be why your knee hurts …. they say everyone’s knee hurts sometimes…..even when you explain no my knee hurts all the time…which is why I think I have this. I just need doctor help diagnose it for sure………😊
You cant joke about your own autism or adhd without being accused of generlizing or making a mockery
i hate that people treat autism as if it's some horrible doom and gloom serious illness
@@prageruwu69 i hate it when people mostly either treat it as the most destructive thing, or just a quircky type of behaviour.
(sorry for my english).
@X1cherryful same! Being autistic makes me really happy sometimes beacause it's a part of me ani love me but i alsow sometimes feel easily overwhelmed and tired and it makes things harder. Its not all black an white its a lot of colours and pretending things are either always happy or always sad is just limiting the things we live and feel
i think it's ironic because a lot of said minimizing of symptoms is done in a tongue and cheek deflection, so sarcasm is likely, it's just dark humor. Dark humor is extremely common with disability or marginalization and often isn't bleak gloom but absurd as well. That sub reddit is not the audience for that humor, it's clear they don't want to read it any other way but negative and it's clear they'll just move the goal post to hate on autistic people out of the guise of concern. They're notbhsppy unless we're the butt of the joke and if we self-deprecate and seem okay well they're gonna make us proper sad.
It's just concern trolling either missing ironic jokes by accident or intention.... Jokes from people who more on average miss read sarcasm which i think is funny. But of course I would 😅
@@Acorn905 you described it very well!
This entire subreddit is full of people who legit just want to bully people for being weird, but they are aware of what autism is and have a moral compass that says it's wrong to bully people for their disabilities. So they rationalize their urge to bully people as somehow protecting people who _actually_ have the disability from fakers.
That's why you can never win. They have decided to bully you for all the ways you seem autistic, and they've decided to bully you for all the ways that you don't. You don't end up on r/fakedisordercringe because you were being autistic wrong. You end up there because you mentioned being autistic and someone took that as an invitation to hyper-analyse your every action.
I was riding my horse in a lesson i wasn't usually in a couple of months ago. This girl, who is around 4 years younger than me, asked me why i was flapping my arms when i got off my horse. I explained it was called stimming, and it was because i was super happy with my horse (a 6** year old - accidentally pressed 5) doing something for the first time, and he didn't spook or anything. She proceeded to ask why AGAIN, so i said, "i have autism, so i can't really control it much."
And she had the uneducated audacity to say, "You dont look autistic though."
I literally FROZE. i asked her what she meant, and she then proceeded to explain what she thought autism "looked" like. Turns out she'd been taught autism "looks" like people that are paralyzed. When their faces are stuck in one position, same for their body, and that their words are slurred and you can barely understand them
I. Could. Have. Screamed. It's so far off, and for no reason!? People NEED to be educated that some peoples disablities arent always visible.
Somethind else i want to point out, relating to the first one, i believe many (but not all) autistic people easily forget that none of us are exactly the same. The spectrum varies widely. So if one autistic person struggles to communicate, that does NOT mean every other autistic person does too. Same for the other way around. My nephew who is getting diagnosed with autism will literally go up to ANYONE in the shops and go "hi im (name) im (age) and im shopping with my mummy." Then walks off. He LOVES to sociolise but doesn't understand exactly how to donit properly, and therefore, he ALSO forgets to ask people things like "whats your name?"
Where as I don't like sociolising, but when forced to, I 95% of the time remember to reciprocate the questions. For example
Person: "Hey, how are you?"
Me: "I'm good thanks, how are you?"
But then I try my hardest to end the conversation as quickly as possible, which could result in me seeming "rude"
Another polar opposite between me and my nephew is understanding sarcasm. I struggle to understand it, even when it's the same phrase used by the same person over and over. I also struggle sarcasm via text too, especially if there is no punctuation or emojis or clear, full capitals, bold letters to reassure me it's sarcastic. My nephew understands any and all sarcasm at this point and uses it a lot himself.
Sorry dumb question but is 5 young for a horse?
@@jaspersoranges it's not dumb! He's actually 6 and I miss clicked when writing my comment but either way, he's at just the right age to be ridden! Horses start to get trained to be ridden typically at 3 years old. The 6yo I'm helping train is a sweetheart and I've only ever fallen off once and it was because he tripped and spooked. He learns extremely quickly but we never push him to do anything too advanced for him and slow introductions are necessary. He's currently doing very small jumps at the moment, as we're teaching him not to charge at them and go slowly. But in the future, he's definitely going to enjoy bigger jumps at the right speed
For other horses, jumping might not be their strong suit and they might refuse to jump alot when training them from 4-6 years old etc. And might prefere other types of work :)
So in conclusion, they're young, but old enough to be ridden and trained :) it's alot more difficult to ride young horses (equestrians call young horses, "green") than a 10-20 year old for sure. They're alot more easy going from personal experience but some can have alot of attitude lol. But typically the younger and less experienced they are, the more they just want to go fast, fast, and more fast ❤️
@Sunnys..grxvve I see! Thank you! Lovely explanation, honestly, I am not a horse type of person, but I know a lot about ungulates because why not lol and horses which not really artiodactyla are still technically ungulates.
And I've only ridden a horse once, a Shetland when I was much younger. What breed is yours unless you don't know which is also fine.
@@jaspersoranges he's a black cob
overreacting to a child asking you a question lmfao get over yourself
the irony of this subreddit is that their whole thing is saying people can’t diagnose themselves, but they can diagnose someone else after a 30 second video. like how does that make any sense??
The math aint mathing
Exactly!! And these people don't even do the research to realize that most of their so called "fakers" are literally clinically diagnosed.
In my experience, people tend to excoriate others for perceived behaviors that they recognize, and are perhaps even unhappy about, in themselves. I think others take the transactional approach that “everybody does it,” and maybe they don’t feel bad about doing it themselves, but they try to make sure others don’t get away with it. I think all that is basically the concept of projection.
Take Imane Khalif's call controversy. The detractors are ready to claim she's a man because the way she looks. When a feminine guy says he's a woman they are the first to cry.
"rules for thee but not for me"
Me suddenly turning neurotypical when someone says I’m not autistic /j
Me too(I could get my autism back if I get vaccinated)
Oh yeah I got two vaccinations earlier too, triple autism 😼
My skin starts to quiver, my arms and legs start wiggling like noodles, and I can feel all the Tisms leaving my body.
@@BiggestBigBoy sounds like an exorcism tbh
An Autiscism. It can only be performed by an autistic priest, who was ordained by an autistic bishop.
@@solarichanlezgo i can get my tism back in a week
This subreddit *needs* to learn the difference between 'stereotypes' and 'archetypes'.
What's the difference between a stereotype and archetype?
@@Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ A stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. An archetype is a very typical example of a certain person or thing.
In common usage, I think the distinction is also that a stereotype in exclusionary: you must meet this one standard, and any deviation from it is invalid. This can be true even when there are multiple conflicting stereotypes in play. Typically people will either invoke their chosen stereotype of a person, or at least employ one stereotype at a time.
Archetypes are more inclusionary -there can be multiple archetypes of autism, and fitting one and not another is perfectly valid. And theoretically, a person can not fit any one archetype perfectly, because they represent common presentations but are not absolute.
One of the pitfalls neurodivergent people face is a that the DSM uses criteria which can be conflated with stereotypes. But for all its faults, the DSM still attempts to address individual variation with the range of behaviors that are required to receive a diagnosis: you need a certain number of traits from this category, not necessarily all of them, nor is the lack of one specific trait an absolute veto. This is where uninformed practitioners really put their foot in it, declaring that eye contact, of having friends, or asking how someone is constitutes an automatic veto all by itself. Even leaving aside the biological aspects of the spectrum, all humans are influenced by personality, experience and learned behaviors, and this must impact how one person expresses traits relative to another. And adults will be trickier that kids, because they’ve had more time to adopt a world view, coping strategies and other learned behaviors.
12:40 I'm diagnosed with cptsd, major depression, anxiety and eating disorder and this is so frustrating. On the one hand you have to be sick and miserable 24/7 to get treatment and accommodations from the government and being happy even for a second can harm your benefits, but on the other hand there ARE good days and not showing them is also harmful and stigmatizing. It's a constant battle. You're either dying or in top health, there is no other option.
I’m drawing a parallel to the whole coercive controlling “If you aren’t perfect, then I get to make all your choices for you because your imperfect butt might make a bad one otherwise!” thing, here. Important to remember that roughly 1/3 of marriages are, ahem, “coercively controlling”. People who use their social skills mostly to hurt others in order to get what they want are quite common, and tend to end up in power positions… 🤦♀️
Ahg! Someone else with cptsd! I'm sorry about everything you handle with this illness. It may not get better, but it will get easier to deal with. You got this!
My dad asked me the other day what I'm going to do with my 80 Squishmallows when I move out. I told him I'm going to keep them, and they'll go on my bed. He told me that people won't want to be at my house when they see my bed lined with Squishmallows, because that's childish behavior. I told him I don't care at this point. If people are going to have a problem with the way my bed looks, then I won't have a relationship with them. If I was sharing the bed with someone else, I would move them off the bed, but if it's just me, they're not going anywhere. I'm not going to give up my comfort when I come home every day just because someone else doesn't like it. My house, my room, my rules. That's what I'm going to tell people when my autistic traits shine through. My brain, my body, my rules. You can't tell me how to operate my brain and body. You can politely ask me to stop doing something if it's disruptive or unsafe, but it's ultimately my decision. I'm sick of NTs telling me how to live my life as an autistic person.
my spouse and I are in out late 40's and have squishmellows all over the bedroom. your squishies are valid.
your dad is wrong, sure some people might be weird about your squishmallows, but that's a them problem, not a you problem. I'd honestly feel way more comfortable with someone if I came to their house and they had a bunch of squishmallows. Like unless it's at the point of hoarding, it's completely fine.
I’d be jealous of your collection. I mean a bunch of cute pillow plushies to cuddle onto in bed? Yes please! If only I didn’t myself around in bed all the time like a restless burrito I would have all my plushies in my bed, but I end up kicking them off of laying on top of them.
i was told by a pediatric autism specialist at 18 that i wasn't autistic bc i have tattoos and piercings, and that autistic ppl don't get tattoos or piercings bc they want to "blend in" and not stand out. me and my grandma only went to him bc medicaid stopped covering me and he was the only specialist we could afford. that was at least 6 years ago at this point but i still feel shocked every time i remember it
That’s crazy. My mom is on the spectrum and has several tattoos and piercings and is considering more.
Ironic because I usually hear that autistic people tend to want to blend in less because they tend to care less about what their peers think or are doing
That reminds me of a psychologist appointment I had where I was talking about how I have REALLY bad task initiation and she eventually said “just put it on your calendar and do it”
Wow thanks Ms. Mam for showing me how blessed and neurotypical you are. If I could just put it on my calendar and do it I wouldn’t be asking for medication from her every few months to function!
"You're not really autistic because you want to do what you want to with your body!!" 😭🙏
A psychiatrist told me that I can't have ADHD bc I'm too successful, lol. I went to like 3 different psychiatrists, but none of them even gave me a test or anything at all. Two just brushed it off, a third one said that because I have depression, it's difficult to tell them apart and diagnose ADHD. I understand it, but at the same time depression, anxiety and ADHD are comorbid and frequently come together. I don't claim to have ADHD, I just want to have a proper evaluation, not "you're too successful" or "you're too depressed".
This whole “you’re not autistic” thing is nothing but bullying disguised as “concerned citizen”.
as someone who works with autism, ADHD and other disabilities and mental illnesses. it boils my blood to see people faking. yes people fake, deal with it.
faking is ableism. uts like when people who are neat and tidy say they have OCD. they don't, they're just neat and tidy. it minimises ehat OCD actually is and underminds how crippling it can be.
this happens with all mental disabilities and mental health issues.
@@MammothMorals we don't deny that people fake disorders. But this subreddit is all bullshit and fakeclaiming is also a form of ableism
@@MammothMoralsAs someone who works with the same groups of people and is diagnosed with ADHD:
Yes, a percentage of people who state they are autistic are likely faking. However, a much larger percentage are not.
By being assholes to people we don‘t know because we for some reason feel like we have authority on who *really* has a disability, we are harming more disabled people than ‚fakers‘. It‘s ableist.
Isn‘t it convenient how people can be assholes to someone without being ableist simply by stating that they don‘t believe they other person is disabled?
Accusing random people of faking behind the façade of concern is giving ‚protecting‘ people from false rape accusations in the name of feminism. Missing the forest for the trees.
@@MammothMoralsas some one who is actually autistic it is not the epidemic that allistic people love to rant about. If anything constantly being ready to point fingers and call autistic people not autistic is more harmful and ableist than this false phenomenon of faking autism will ever be, even if it were what was happening.(but it is not, it is just ableism disguised as some fucked up form of “social justice”)
I think the proper term for it is “concern trolling” and it is a sadly common phenomena when it comes to any form of minority rights discourse
When I was 14 and 15 I was obsessed with fakedisordercringe, I felt like self diagnosed people were mocking me and I wanted to mock them back. For a while I had the mindset of “faking until proven otherwise”, which basically meant that I assumed that everyone who claimed to have a disorder was faking it. Eventually I realized that my autistic identity isn’t any more valid just because I had the privilege of being diagnosed early, and that my mindset was messed up.
i was 11 when i discovered it and got banned from the r/gachaclub server bc i thought everyone there was right abt everyone faking did and told ppl that on the server
its been 3 years and i still feel fucking horrible abt it
True character isn't the absence of flaws. It's how you conduct yourself once you recognise those flaws, and the fact that you guys have recognised them, are remorseful, *and* willing to change says a lot about your strength of characters.
Congratulations on that wonderful growth, I'm very happy for you and the people around you!
I kinda dislike how non-descriptive a lot of diagnosis are. The moment that you realise you are neurodivergent you'll see yourself in virtually every category under the sun
I was diagnosed last year and used to have that mindset of people faking disorders. Thankfully I've grown out that mindset and just let people be people. Unless they are blatantly lying or spreading misinformation
@@InsomniacFlaaffy right? it's much healthier to just take anecdotes as suggestions and move on than do everything in your power to dismiss it
The asthma analogy is hilarious to me since people did tell my mom I wasn’t asthmatic when I was younger despite being prescribed daily breathing treatments. I couldn’t be asthmatic because I would run around at the playground. Someone claimed an asthma attack wasn’t an asthma attack since I didn’t go pale. I did go pale, just pale with melanin. People would regularly say that asthma was being over diagnosed. This was only 20 years ago.
It hasn’t changed, I’ve (also asthmatic) gotten the same treatment from my parents and teachers and almost all adults I’ve met, childhood to adult, and I’m only 20. (I’m sorry, btw.)
@@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 I’m sorry to hear that it remains awful.
I..... can't believe this. This is starting to be nonsensical.
Don't get me wrong, IT IS VERY STUPID to think people are faking invisible illnesses and mental disorders, BUT LIKE???????
YOU ARE SEEING IT, HOW CAN YOU BE SO IGNORANT TO THE POINT WHERE YOU SIMPLY SAY "ur not asthmatic lol" TO SOMEONE HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK??????? HUH????????????
I have the feeling that if this doesn't stop, people will normalize telling someone they are "overreacting" or "faking it" when the person LITERALLY BROKE A LEG AND IT'S LITERALLY BLEEDING.
TFW not getting enough oxygen doesn't destroy pigment cells I guess?????
I think this whole "investigation" we do into autistic people, especially self diagnosed, is also connected to late stage capitalism. Capitalism taught us that we need to work super hard to cover our basic needs, we need to prove ourselves as "special" and everyone who cannot provide evidence of that has only themselves to blame. It's a constant competition of who has it worse, who is more miserable and deserving of peaceful existence - we fight each other, meanwhile governments and companies get away with not providing anyone with the care they need, autistic or not. It's a manifestation of the frustration we all feel and instead of going after those who eff us over, we go after each other. Why is that even a thing?
You know, technically, since Autism is a neurological developmental condition, it actually _is_ all in your head. ;) (Yes, that's a joke. Yes, I'm autistic.)
"dude!! you just shot him twelve times!!!"
"relax it's all in his head"
@@yoyo777literally lol’ed
@@yoyo777 we have a comedian here
It’s been my impression that many or most people’s conception of the brain is this dark, empty space, filled with nothing but thoughts and feelings, all chosen freely. The idea that it is a biological organ that works differently in difference people, and that thoughts and feelings and sensory inputs/responses are generated by physiological processes - that just doesn’t compute. I think the concept that we are not completely in control of all our cognitive processes is especially threatening to people who are vaguely aware that they have no idea why they do a lot of what they do, and that some of it probably isn’t strictly rational.
@@heidiburton929same 😂
As someone with asthma and severe allergies to cats and dogs, I can say with total assurance that I get told on a regular basis, "Oh, my friend is allergic to cats and she's totally okay coming over to visit me and my three kitties!" or "No, really, my dog is hypoallergenic so it's fine if they lick you!" or "I bet you're making it up - if I hadn't told you there's a cat here, you wouldn't be reacting right now." So the whole premise of that particular TikTok is completely invalid.
I'm sorry people behave like that. I have friends with allergies who are often dismissed too. It's scary.
If it isn't deadly, I'd go over anyways, have an allergic reaction (if it's like a rash or something like that), and looks at them and be like "does this look fake?" Of course, that's just me
My best friend is deaf. She wears hearing aids and her external ears are visibly abnormal. We went to middle and high school together and our teachers would ALWAYS tell her she was lying even though she literally wears hearing aids.
Oh my gosh. SAME! I am accused of faking it too. "I bet you'd never know if I didn't tell you?" "You don't seem that bad." "I am sure you can come around for half a day and be fine"
I took 14 antihistamines in 24hrs just to enable me to stay at a friend's house because she pressured me to stay. Really pressured me. I did not realise that you could OD on antihistamines. 😞
"It ain't easy being wheezy." I usually only notice how wheezy I am when I get out into the frsh air to be fair.
EDIT: Oh the old "my friend who is allergic to fur still comes around" 😞
I am sorry that people are so dismissive of your asthma and allergies. Do people think breathing is optional?
I remember that I got permanently banned from this subreddit for "white-knighting" for the crime of saying "yeah, this subreddit has a habit of claiming provably autistic people aren't "actually autistic"." When I said to the mods that the subreddit has a problem with ableism they just started insulting me in DMs and then muted me from being able to message moderators.
further proving that the "no bullying" rule is for shits and giggles. (or they think the bullying is justified because they don't like you)
@@aghostbat reddit needs to take action. i’m sick of these gross subs being allowed to stay up
Redditor moment. In all seriousness I'm so sorry those assholes did that to you
@@crystalwhisp Yeah, it's kinda ridiculous. I just wish subreddits like these were left in the past (like they belong)
@@aghostbat Same
1:00 i just learned that this is what you were supposed to answer 😅 I've never in my life had thought this was a thing
the self diagnosis asthma tiktok is wild because like you said they literally do that to people who have been medically diagnosed too. i literally spent hundreds doing adhd testing and got a diagnosis and a full report and everything and i literally still have DOCTORS who will look at my official diagnosis detailing all the tests i went through and say "well i disagree. you seem fine to me. you just have anxiety". like this literally happens to people with official diagnoses too. i've literally gotten into arguments with psychiatrists for refusing to prescribe me meds i know work for a disorder i have official documentation for because they just don't believe me. like i walk into a psychiatrist's office with my adhd diagnosis and they just say no. self diagnosed people aren't at fault for people not believing us because they literally just don't anyway.
YES! This happens all the fucking time! Doctors doubt you, health officials disallow you the proper health because “Well you’re probably just a drug addict so” it’s like… News flash GP: You CAN HAVE BOTH ADHD AND ANXIETY WHICH I FUCKING DO!
Why do so many people believe that’s there’s this black and white thing? Like “This” or “That” when it could literally be both too?
Why are people so susceptible to this god awful black and white mentality. Because it’s easier than finding the nuance to something?
Life isn’t black and white! I thought people knew this already! What the fuck .
The first one already got me eyerolling lol. Like, if an autistic person was super sociable and conversation savvy, these same people would accuse them of faking because of that. You literally cant win 😭😭
I personally don't think autistic people can really be that, apart from learning to fake sociability well. which is very possible.
My mum knew I was autistic way before I was diagnosed, so she went out of her way to teach me how to socialise. Stuff like “always return the question” and “if someone mentions an event, ask how it went”. I still struggle with socialising, but if you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t guess I’m autistic-this stuff really annoys me, it undermines all the work my mum did to help me
@@elianaslivia4405 Personally I think it's a bit too assimilationist, but you do you.
@@tristanband4003well, we do need to move around the world and mask to a degree - just not the whole way
@@TryinaD Yeah i'd rather not mask period
My suggestion for an autism-inspired makeup look is... no makeup. Because I can't stand the sensory experience of having makeup on my face. Nope!
EXACTLY!! Not only did it feel like my face was burning but I just kept wiping my face unconsciously at my school graduation ceremony 💀 I think my skin was also a bit sensitive to it but also just hated it completely and I felt bad for the artist (family friend tried so hard to make it comfy)
I also don’t wear makeup and hate how it feels, but not everyone has the same sensory issues.
For example, I love bright sunlight.
Same!
lol i can handle most makeup, but stuff like foundation or really thick gloss is just a nope for me
Right! I try to put on makeup sometimes but I usually can't handle anything more than gloss and blush.
Kinda related, but I hate being expected to wear makeup all the time. I told a girl I didn't really wear any makeup outside of special occasions, and she looked at me like I was an alien.
one time i saw someone on there straight up say someone was lying abt being autistic, and then in the SAME FUCKING COMMENT, asked:
"btw, her tone of voice is rly robotic, wtf is up with that?"
LIKE BRUH
this sub is a clown show
I would say its a country's worth of circuses
"They are faking it,"
"Why do they sound like a robot?"
Oh, I don't know, Jenny. MAYBE BECAUSE THAT'S A TRAIT OF AUTISM!?
@@purplealpaca9278 "beep boop bop" "what are you saying" "im autistic" (im autistic so i can make this joke)
Nahhh 💀
I.
You.
That.
BRUH
I have bipolar and BPD. Art has been widely used to visually represent our experiences…and makeup IS art.
Thanks for making this comment before I did. :)))
When you asked if people are going to make fun of people for being in a wheelchair, I can almost say that people do, when the reason they are in a wheelchair, and/or using crutches etc does not match what they feel using one should look like.
When I was in high school I was in a bad car accident, and broke my femur (upper leg bone) in half. I had a metal plate in my leg for a year, and then had it removed bc my body rejected it. Healing from a break like that means you use a wheel chair, then moving to crutches. While it is healing, you start putting more and more weight in the leg. Sometimes, not even using those devices. People absolutely make fun of you, or say you are faking when the way you are using an assist device, not in the way they think you should be.
Much in the same way being late diagnosed is looked upon as fake.
Thank you for your videos. They help me tremendously!
People sometimes roll their eyes when i say im autistic, my aunt who is a phyc nurse even said "everyones autistic nowadays". People think i went on tiktok and suddenly became autistic when i dont even have tiktok and never had, it took seven years of therapy and many different diagnosis for me to even consider i might be autistic. Not to mention autism is very common in my family.
"everyones autistic nowadays" has always been so insane to me. if everyone was autistic then we wouldnt be getting bullied for it lmao
@@thehorriblesnifflerif sooooo many people were autistic, there would be no such thing as the phrase "everyone's autistic these days" because naturally it would be viewed as normal.
It’s so annoying, it’s not like autism is not real, my 50 year old father has diagnosed autism did he get it in the 70s by opening TikTok?? It’s a real thing with real people who have it 😭
I've had people say I'm not or that I got it from TikTok but in reality I noticed alot of similarities between myself and people with the medical diagnosis in my personal life and even brought it up to my therapist. I took the test on the more reliable site and scored nearly 100 pts over "normal" and I've ALWAYS had issues with texture (especially food texture) and had tantrums when I was younger that looking back were more akin to autistic meltdowns
they should change their name to r/tryingnottobeableistwhilesayingableistthings
Incorrect. They don't even try to not be ableist.
They're not even trying to hide it-
Incorrect but for a really stupid reason. Subreddits are limited to 21 characters. Something like "/r/AbleistAndIncorrect" would fit!
@robotortoise thats a perfect name for it, youre a genius
R/Imnotablistihaveanautisticfriend
Yep - these people do mock wheelchair users and those with invisible disabilities. I have EDS, I sometimes look fine, i sometimes need walking aids, and in an airport i definitely need my sunflower lanyard and a wheelchair.
I can't imagine what it's like to get mocked for literally needing a wheelchair to get around. Usually with my cane, people just move out of my way... I hope people just learn to live and let live.
heeyyy fellow zebra!!!
Hi from another autistic with EDS
Zebra here. I got shocked at how differently I got treated when I was on holiday with a flipstick (cane with a seat) like good shocked, people's reactions to me were completely different when they could physically see something was wrong. (Although my cane did end up accidentally getting stolen (it was given into reception) as I put it next to me while I did something and we'll I obviously looked healthy enough that it didn't belong to me, even with it right next to me.)
I'm not a wheelchair user, but it's astonishing how many people who don't (yet) need walking aids assume everyone using a wheelchair is completely incapable of walking. God forbid they see you using a cane or nothing at all; suddenly you're faking being disabled and "should be ashamed."
The dualistic thinking is understandable in kids, but adults? Very disappointing.
Gatekeeping autism was how I tried to convince myself I wasn’t
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: by and large, anti self-diagnosis people are just looking for a somewhat socially acceptable excuse to bully neurodivergent people who they consider "cringe."
well I'm saying it now and I'll say it again, you're WRONG. Anti self-diagnosis people are by and large _diagnosed_ people who have lived with this for their entire life and can spot when someone only has a shallow understanding of ADHD or autism 90% of the time, and are rightfully upset when these people go on websites like TikTok and act like "representatives" and spread misinformation. It's no different than when people say "I'm so OCD" just because they organize their closet and drawers.
@@GoddoDoggo Well I'm saying it for the first time and probably not the last, that you both have a point and are right in your own ways.
@@GoddoDoggomany people don't have the money or privilege to get an autism diagnosis. Also autism is under diagnosed in POC, women, and adults. there's a reason people turn to self diagnosis
@GoddoDoggo I've been diagnosed with autism so long that I knew it for most of my life as aspergers. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the same time, depression a few years later, and DID within this year. I knew I had DID for years prior, I just couldn't receive a diagnosis.
How do you have the diagnostic capabilities to undiagnosed someone based off traits in on video, one post, their online presentation? You don't know them irl. And most of the time, you people don't go after self admitted fakers. You go after real diagnosed individuals accidentally spreading misinformation or even just...living their lives, doing things that could be considered cringe. Mostly women and queer folk too. What gives you the right to do that? What school of psychology did you go to? Did they ask for your help determining their diagnosis? Are you a medical professional?
If the answer to all those questions is no, you should really take a step back and reconsider your actions. Us individuals who have been diagnosed for years don't need your suibaiting, harassment, and general negativity.
Nah, I won't throw sh!t at self-diagnosed people nor invalidate or deny their struggles BUT things like confirmation bias and symptom overlap are often forgotten when it comes to self-diagnosis. It actually takes a lot to become qualified to diagnose and that's the reason why I don't fw it, having this posture doesn't make me a neurotypical (I consider that shi- an insult atp) who hates autistic traits
Abandoning the asthma metaphor for a minute, the inhaler necklace is actually a good idea, in my opinion. I have a friend who is asthmatic and I remember once we were walking down an avenue on our way back to school and a huge truck almost ran us over and he got spooked and had an asthma attack and I thought she was going to die because we couldn't find the inhaler in the backpack. So I think an inhaler necklace isn't that bad of an idea. You know, the way diabetics get bracelets that say they're diabetic.
I agree. I did think that was what was happening until my brainsies caught up. My best friend died of an asthma attack in 3rd grade so I wouldn’t think twice about it if someone wore one, or I’d think it’s good idea!
As an asthmatic I agree with this. That actually sounds like a great idea, I’ve never thought of that and I’m almost always losing my inhaler. I’m not on the verge of dying from an asthma attack that often when I do have an attack, but it is harrowing and uncomfortable and I often get attacks from just laughter alone. Having my inhaler on me at all times without having to carry it everywhere in a bag or something would be so much more convenient!
I had this middle-aged woman I used to work with say that I couldn’t have AuADHD, because her grandson has it and I didn't act like him.
Peer diagnosis/self diagnosis helped me push to get a professional assessment, which, at 28, learned I AuADHD.
Autism is a spectrum. And I wish people understood this. Like they like autistics as a sense of community but when those people show less desirable symptoms, they're faking or an embarrassment to all autistic folk
Unrelated, but nice pfp.
WOAH, you don't act like a little boy even tho you're a grown adult and also a different person?!?!?!??!??!11?exclamationpointquestionmark!!!//
that's crazy! whomst'd've thought.
17:23 It's not uncommon that women with a heart attack gets missdiagnosed with anxiety just because they are women.
Women get misdiagnosed with strokes too! Strokes in women don’t present the same as strokes in men and we learned this in the EARLY 2000s.
Or with other heart issues.
I have tachycardia due to POTS. My resting bpm is around 100-110bpm. I got told my heart palpitations were "just anxiety" and my heart was racing due to "stress." Luckily, my standing tests for POTS don't lie. But so many other people will go with "just anxiety" because their condition is actually more complicated and isn't a simple test and result scenario.
@@ohhmangos how did you get a diagnosis for POTS btw if you don't mind me asking?? i got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hEDS last week and i've been kinda overwhelmed with all the stuff i need to learn and get figured out for treatment options and disability support, and i'm pretty sure i have some symptoms of POTS but when i brought it up with my gp he basically didn't know what it was and dismissed it at as a 'made up disorder' 😭😭
To be fair, the fact that women can have very odd symptoms of a heart attack, this is quite possible. I still don't think it is completely well known, even in medical circles.
@@remusgrrrl..that’s because most medical research has been done on men throughout history and women were completely ignored
As someone who has had trouble breathing for the last few years, who has repeatedly been told that they DON’T have asthma-but was recently told that there was an old diagnosis of “Reactive Airway Disease” in their chart and finally prescribed a daily inhaler-the analogy between asthma and autism hit me particularly hard.
0:35 oh my god yes thats so real. i still struggle to remind myself to ask questions back/ask them myself first 💔
While I'm sure that some of the hate is specific to autism in particular, especially the 'autism moms' who are angry that other people aren't as impaired than their children, I have noticed over the years a general trend that lots of people don't want people on the internet to 'be things.'
I first encountered this phenomenon with introversion a few years ago, lots of people saying things like 'you're not an introvert, you're just shy!' or 'there's no such thing as introversion, everyone needs to be alone sometimes'. They would accuse people who discovered the term and realized it fit them of just wanting to be trendy, or wanting to be special, wanting attention, etc. All the same stuff. And now, of course, they're doing the exact same thing to trans people. As befits my autism, I see a pattern.
I don't know why this is, but I have some hypotheses. First, that a lot of people do everything they do online just so that they can get sympathy, get attention, get validation that they are special, etc, and they project that onto everyone else, and they think that people with unusual traits somehow have an unfair advantage. Second, that in our atomized society where the concept of community has withered, people without marginalized traits see people with them forming communities of support and are jealous. Third, that it's just another form of the same school yard bullying we've all faced before in myriad other forms.
They are looking for community in a world where peoole are increasingly lonely and atomised by claiming some superficial identity. Combined with a society that turns everything into a commodity, you get people who just hoard labels in an attempt to replicate an authentic sense of self, just like they do with clothes or other consumer products.
A word of advice: high school never actually ends. It just melds into society's conceptions.
It’s non of those, the reason is “Jantelaw” or “the law of jante” meaning nobody cares and you’re not special, nor am I special. Like stfu.
Who said introversion isn't real????
@@amazinggrapes3045 A bunch of people on the internet a few years ago, who didn't like seeing people being happy that they learned something about themselves
4:24 Do we want to be socially awkward? No. Do we want to be seen as socially awkward? Not really, though many of us low masking types take an "it is what it is" attitude.
But a lot of it comes down to "you laugh or you cry". We can either laugh about our struggles, or we can cry about them, and many of us choose to laugh.
You described it absolutely perfectly, this is our life and our struggle and if they refuse to understand let them flounder in their self imposed ignorance ❤
it's the life we are doomed to live, better laugh about it
I hate that subreddit so much. I bet the few cases where the people posted there actually turn out to not have a disorder, still aren't faking. People who have been struggling for a while often just want to know what's wrong, so they find a disorder that seems to match their experiences and they genuinely believe they could have it, but in the end turn out to have something else. That isn't faking!
exactly. i was dead set on the fact i was bipolar. nope, autism. doesnt mean it was faked, just the closest thing to what i have that i knew about
@@Swagsoviet06 and these misdiagnoses will ALSO happen in a medical setting. I feel like people posting in these threads vastly overestimate how black and white getting diagnosed is too.
You misdiagnosed yourself? I have a family member who was misdiagnosed my medical professionals in the same way - because they too have their expertise. It happens.
Giving each other grace and leeway and learning about what CAN be happening inside one's brain is the way to get everyone the support they need. Which is everyone's goal... Right?
Being concerned about "fake autism" screams of an ableist neurotypical or self hating neurodivergent. I could not care less if someone who's "just socially awkward but not autistic" says "I self diagnose as autistic" and shares their personal experience. That doesn't scream ableist to me.
Policing language and people's diagnoses and being mean and making fun of people for having autistic traits under the guise of "exposing fakers" is so much more concerning and ableist than sharing experiences and trying to identify your own traits and identity and diagnoses
My nurse at my school said, and I quote "It must be high functioning cause you don't seem-" and then I cut her off and explained autism to her, a medical professional, and that I'm level 1 but that doesn't mean I'm not "autistic enough" to need a 504 plan (Which I finally got!). Just because I'm good at masking when I actually try doesn't mean I'm neurotypical.
This subreddit should be taken down! This is JUST bullying, misinformation and ableism!
Facts!
they somehow think that their little disclaimer is doing them justice but they are showcasing literally the exact opposite behaviors of what they are saying (Not bulling shaming or whatever)
@catballer69 Sadly, most of the time, disclaimers like that aren't actually meant to prevent harassment; they're meant to provide plausible deniability when the harassment happens.
Slippery slope though , it’s freedom of speech even if we hate it
I’m autistic and I despise that subreddit. However, I STRONGLY believe that freedom of expression is a basic human right. Period.
Ignorant people like them are a dying breed anyway. We don’t need to censor them. The correct thing to do is precisely what Meg is doing here - challenging their stupid ideas with better ideas and debunking their misinformation.
Censorship is a weapon of the weak. Censorship is what you do when you don’t have a good argument so you need to shut down your opponents altogether.
Our arguments are good and we’re not weak. Let’s not call for fascist censorship just because this subreddit is cringey and toxic.
God I find all of this so confusing “you need to tell us you’re autistic otherwise we don’t know and think you’re just being awkward”, “don’t tell people you’re autistic, you’ll get peoples backs up” (had both of these comments made by two different staff members in the same workplace) and now it’s “if you tell people you’re autistic, you’re faking”
What do they want from us?!
Also, I have a sunflower on my bank card so the staff are aware I need a bit of extra help sometimes.
They want to hurt us for their own ego and insecurities. Hurt people hurt people. Ableists are the same as all bigoted people. Driven by fear of the unknown that turns into anger and hatred and excuses.
Also thinking in a black and white mentality is easier than thinking in complex and compassionate ways. If you can think in a “Bad guy” vs “good guy” mentality, you don’t have to challenge or question your own behavior. Life is too complex for people and some of us want to pretend it isn’t and pretend we aren’t terrified of it when we are.
The obvious problem here is that the "they" you are talking about doesn't exist.
I love this assumption that self-diagnosis is some massive plague and not overwhelmingly the result of neurodivergent people doing intense research and being filled with self doubt about whether they're even right
I really appreciate this post because as a self diagnosed autistic adult (knowing I have 3 autistic kids and a couple siblings a parent and it’s genetic and I can’t afford proper testing 😔) I don’t tell people about this part of myself because those in the community tend to judge me harshly but I really identified with megs story of motherhood being what brought it about and now after years of looking into it it makes so much sense for me in my life so yeah. That’s me and I just wanted to say thanks I felt seen ❤️🤓
It depends on when they tell me about it, it is not gonna look good to tell someone you are autistic while in the middle of an apology for sociopathic behavior. It just is not gonna work.
Now if you tell me over a beer or at work when you're just being socially inept, meh I'm good with that.
In general, I do agree with you. However, I will add that there is nuance to the matter, if for no other reason than there is a variety of possible causes for any given symptom and personal circumstance can cause symptoms to overlap and what have you. Not everyone necessarily has done an appropriate amount of research either. So in these regards, the validity of the self-diagnosis can be shaky. This isn't to say a shaky one is false or deceptive; I'm mostly talking about someone who has spent, say, a few hours in a week and jumped to a definitive conclusion.
If they don't want people self-diagnosing, then they need to have more people trained at diagnosing adults and make it free.
@@helenejordan3896I’m in the same boat. After each of my kids was diagnosed it occurred to me as someone who shared essentially the same traits. It explains so many things, but it’s not something that I can really pursue for myself atm.
With the asthma metaphor, maybe the person with asthma lives with their mum who also has asthma. But their mum thinks the asthma is normal because it's what she's always had so she doesn't let her child get a proper diagnoses, because she doesn't view it as different and it's exactly how she acted as a child.
I'm not diagnosed with autism. Don't know if I have it either. But I did have issues with reciprocity growing up. I remember not understanding that when someone asks "How are you?" you're supposed to say "What about you?", I would always just say "Good". I figured this out when I was about 15-16? And it's still something I have to consciously think about each time it comes up. Oftentimes I just forget.
Regarding the first clip, I’m in my 50s. I was diagnosed less than two weeks ago. One of the things the assessor mentioned in my report is how I wouldn’t reciprocate their questions. I obviously still don’t know how to properly interact.
It is ABSOLUTELY a part of being autistic.
Congrats on the diagnosis btw!
I still have to consciously remind myself to do that. It doesn't come naturally, but it's what people expect and it is fair play, after all. There are very few things that "people expect" that are actually fair, so I like to support the things that are.
@@tealkerberus748I always feel differently about it. Sometimes I'll remember I should do it, other times I won't. In general I struggle with it because I have the natural inclination that if people want to tell me something, they will. If they want to talk about how they've been doing, they will. Since a lot of the time it seems to be evident that people are not at all interested in telling you how they've truly been doing even if other times they have been, but it's still expected to ask even when you don't want to and the other person doesn't want to be asked? I feel like it's a better system for people to just talk about what they want to talk about, and for people to ask questions they are genuinely curious or concerned with.
@@tealkerberus748 I was at a wedding reception last night talking to some people I hadn’t seen in years, and I realized I was not responding back with the socially inane questions to keep the conversation going. It’s almost painful for me to ask those silly questions, but, thinking of this conversation, I did it. 😂
@@AliceBunny05 fair but i would counter with the thought that the kin could have a thing they want to say but want to be talking in general before stating the given thoughts
I think the "issue" with the first vid ties into a tiktok I saw that I think has a lot of truth to it.
The gist is that when autistic people hear a general statement like "People like yellow" they think "Yes, there are people who like yellow" but allistic people think "No, not everyone likes yellow/Most people don't like yellow"
She said that it was a sign that she should've known she was autistic, so they interpreted that as her _equating_ that experience with being autistic (All autistic people, and only autistic people, do this) when that's not what she meant at all!
(Of course, this is in and of itself a generalization and does not apply to all autistic, or allistic, experiences)
You’re assuming way less than those cringe people , you’re doing good
Yes- this is so bizarre and frustrating about ever trying to communicate! My dad died in 2008 and I think he was the only person who ever actually understood anything I say.
I think I’m relatively good at seeing other’s pov, even if I have to work at it, I like understanding ‘why’.
Why it is typical and/or not dis-ordered to hear someone say something and then be focused on the meaning of what they DID NOT SAY… astounds me and is the source of much of my suffering
You put perfectly into words what I noticed with autistic people and allistic people. Thank you!
@@heidiburton929 THIS
Bruh, neurotypicals see a general phrase like, "People like yellow" and think it means "all people must like yellow"? That's weird.
It's pretty obvious it can just mean, "there are people out there who like yellow".
I could see it being intepreted as "people like yellow" = "a person must like yellow" depending on context but in a general use case, no.
Person A: "I like hot dogs".
Person B: "Ugh, why does anyone like hot dogs.
A: People can just have a preference for certain foods.
B: But I don't have a preference for it! Not ALL PEOPLE!
A: Yes, but I meant that SOME do. It doesn't have to mean "ALL". Do you notice how I didn't use that word?
Have you noticed the awkward nerdy kids in TV & film often have inhalers. Its asthough people have put asthma & autism in the same space!! Both can be misunderstood and trivialised.
I think the movie logic is: Nerdy = autistic, kids with inhalers look nerdy so nerdy autistic kid with inhaler is the trope now.
Add ugly glasses broken by a bully and tasteless clohtes to taste.
@@Virtualblueart I'm glad the Goonies subverted most of the nerd kid tropes honestly because it's a whole movie of nerd kids. And I love it.
@@VirtualblueartI hate that all those things describe me😂
@@spoopyvirgil4944I like when they do meet the pirates they sympathise with Sloth and help him break free
@@Virtualblueart Inhaler is a nerdy thing now ? 😂 I used to tick most of the nerdy boxes back then, and now that other ones are appeareing, I still tick them
I like being considered a bit quirky. Autism is the source of a lot of my struggles in life. But it’s also the source of a lot of good things in life and just my personality as a whole. I wouldn’t change my personality drastically. I only want to try and get a bit better at certain things like socialising, but I don’t want to become an extrovert. And for all the shortcomings it has in society, I like my quirky brain. It is the source of my creativity and authenticity, which I think are some of my defining traits (though having come to a recent realisation that I mask more than I thought, I’m a bit unsure about how authentic my authenticity actually is). My quirky brain attracts a few people, but the right kind of people. It makes me see things differently. I often take pictures at different angles and see people copying that afterwards. I’m often the one who makes a lot of puns (of varying quality). My true self, which I don’t openly display as much as I’d like, definitely defies norms. And on the whole, I just don’t care about things or people being considered popular by others. I like what I like and don’t pretend to like something I don’t like.
As for the term ‘neurospicy’, I understand how it can be demeaning. Personally, I feel pretty indifferent towards it. Spicy perhaps does have an inclination of intentionally being different, or having chosen to be different. Which of course isn’t the case with autism. I do like joking about autism a bit. Especially with a fellow autistic friend. Autism Spectrum Disorder’s abbreviation in Dutch is ASS, so we can joke about each other’s ASS. It’s good to just have a laugh about autism sometimes. You’re going to live with it either way.
THANK YOU for saying all this!!! i’m not autistic, but i have migraines and endometriosis and they affect my life on a near daily basis. i tell people i have them almost immediately BECAUSE it makes my life very different from a “normal” person. i can’t be in loud places, i can’t do certain physical activities, and i often can’t plan things in advance because i never know if today is gonna be a 16 hour bed day or not. it’s hard when people don’t understand it and just label me as lazy or a bad friend. i’m trying my best. ALSO thank you for mentioning that people can have the same diagnosis but struggle in different ways. endometriosis comes in 4 or 5 stages and someone presenting at stage 1 might have worse pain than someone at stage 4. it’s extremely individualized (the stages just represent how much of the reproductive organs are covered in gunk)… so you truly never know unless you ARE that person. so just trust people, they probably know more about their OWN BODY than you do lol
Holy shit I feel you so much, especially with the “I don’t know if today is going to be a 16 hour sleep day or not” THAT IS SO ACCURATE TO MY BRAIN! I often describe my own energy levels and emotions as “rolling a DnD dice” my brain acts like a gambling machine almost all the time. Sometimes I roll near a twenty and I have a decent day and other times I roll a one and I sleep the day away. It’s literally uncontrollable, I cannot control how my brain will react and or function via my energy levels!
The "You can't be autistic, you're too happy" bs just reminded me of a call my Pain Management Dr got from the pharmacy about one of her patients possibly faking/not needing meds bc she was always "Happy & polite"
Happy to break it everyone:9 no matter how bad the pain is you simply can not scream and cry all the time. Eventually you realize it's not helping, in fact it's hurting/increasing the pain & you learn to live, love & laugh despite the pain. Being happy doesn't equal being pain-free.
Just as being happy doesn't equal never-struggles, able-bodied, etc.
To state the obvious: Autistic people/anyone can indeed be disabled _and_ happy 😱🎉🤯🥳
Aye. On the bad days we don't engage much. But you can't stop living just because everything hurts.
Also, a lot of us learn that if we want to get what we need and want, it behooves us to present as eloquent, clean-cut, pleasant, polite, reasonable, non-aggressive, sympathetic, and likable.
@@dinosaysrawr In other words, if you want to survive in the allistic abled world, mask like you're allistic and abled.
Then they think we're faking it because we act like allistic abled people.
@@tealkerberus748 So true! Sorry to hear you _know_ all too well! Here's hoping you have lots low pain days. Gentle hugs 🫂
@@dinosaysrawr No kidding! Not sure if you have chronic pain, autism or both. I'm both. Luckily, my wife makes my life as stress free as possible - which helps a _lot!_ I hope you have the support you need too 🫂
I wish there was an ability to report entire subreddits, because this is one of those subreddits that really just needs to be thrown out.
This and fatlogic. These subreddits disguised as "concern" for people that are just bullying others are crazy. I can't imagine being so miserable as to interact with these communities on the daily.
@@lambybunny7173that and like the redpilled one which is supposed to be for men’s mental health…. It breeds incels
These people are too cowardly to outright just say “I’m a bully and proud” and instead hide behind a mask of “I’m trying to help” Yeah nah.
At least you know how to avoid someone who knows they’re an A hole, these people are harder to call out.
It’s not faking traits… it people finally understanding what autism actually is and not the stereotypes put forth by mass media.
27:35 I've already commented on another instance when it happened, but you seem to mix up/relate together Bipolar And BPD (bordeline personality disorder) when apart the fact that they sound similar, have little in common. Bipolar is a mood disorder (like depression) when BPD is a personality disorder
That sub is beyond disgusting. I love seeing it called out.
real like whenever someone calls it out the ableist people there come running. “I’m autistic and i agree with them” autistic people can be ableist too, even to each other. It’s so stupid
Had to cut off contact with an uncle who insisted I was faking even after I got diagnosed. He kept trying to convince my mum that I’m just selfish and lazy and that she shouldn’t provide me with any support.
I’m still autistic, and I still have a super supportive family, despite his efforts lol
I was JUST thinking about how fun it would be to bedazzle my inhaler and wear it as a necklace.
Yes a bejeweled inhaler sound so fun and cool lol ^^
I would love to see it
❤ you should
Do it! It sounds cool!!
Go for it!
its weird. its like those people think autism is some sort of club and not something that people genuinely struggle with. like, no babe, it's not a quirky makeup look or a song (not saying autistic peoples special interest can't be one of these, im mainly talking about the glamorization of it influencers are doing, trust me i love doing clown makeup and will listen to 3-4 songs repeatedly for MONTHS), its something that can make you have a meltdown over something as simple as your hair being in your face.
Maybe it's just me taking things too literally but is just a hair on your face enough to trigger a meltdown??
@@turtleburger200 I'm not the original commenter but sometimes when I'm already pretty overwhelmed/stressed out, a little thing can be enough to be the last straw that makes my meldown happend
So if for this person, the feeling of their hair on their face is a sensorial discomfort then having to deal with one more sensory issue can send them into meltdown (since they said "your hair", I think they didn't meant only one hair, just the feeling of all the hairs touching your face)
@@turtleburger200 no, just sometimes i get overwhelmed and yeah, basically its the last straw to trigger a meltdown sometimes, hope this helps
@@st4rface_r1ssie oh that makes sense thanks for the explanation
@@turtleburger200 yes it makes me scream and cry and i get very upset (im not joking btw as an autistic adhder)
I got a lot of hate on that subreddit from saying “hey, I’m actually diagnosed with autism and this person is very likely to have it too” and everyone was saying “how can you diagnose someone from a video” but like… they were the ones that were trying to diagnose someone from a 60 second video…
lol the asthma example.
I have asthma and one day a kid in my gym class asked why I need my inhaler when there’s air all around, he thought that it just gave air directly into my mouth not thinking that it had medicine inside it. He wasn’t condescending about it and genuinely learned something new that day.
"Stop glamorizing disorders" um.. its my disorder? I feel like I can do what I want with it.
REAL. Like, it's MY disorder, I get to make jokes about it.
@@Alisibeth_Talia212Same. I make jokes about my disorders (I have several).
"stop glamorizing disorders" and all it is is an autistic person being themselves and maybe talking about their autism online
True but it becomes weird when people without said disorder start to glamorise and romanticise it ,,,
Nothing better than taking what was used against you for decades and finally embracing it. It won't go away, so learning to love it is such a healing experience.
My autistic daughter also finds something to compliment whenever she feels awkward. Many people smile when their hair/shirt/scrunchy/makeup/dress is complimented. If conversation will happen, it’s usually more relaxed afterwards.
I use that trick too 😊works perfectly 😅
ohh my god i do that too 😅 i also tell my family i love them when they seem stressed because their stress makes me stressed
@@michellechair That's something my son does 🤣 isn't it cool how we all learn the same tricks to get along with the world 🤗
This is how I somehow ended up with a recent encounter turning into the customer I was checking out giving me her stegosaurus necklace. I had to superglue the little stone in place so it wouldn’t keep falling out, but it was a rather pleasant, though awkward, interaction. LOL
so from my understanding, this subreddit is full of people who think they're psychiatrists and feel like they have the right to tell a bunch of other people, who also think they're psychiatrists on some level, on whether or not somebody is neurodivergent as if they've personally sat down and assessed said somebody when they don't
and also thinking that self diagnosis isn't valid. self diagnosis is intense research about something that helps people get the diagnosis they need. or at least try and figure out what they might have if they're not in the right place to get a diagnosis.
so... nobody can win with this subreddit
Learning to ask people the same question they asked you, was probably one of the first lessons I learned and helped me realize I was autistic.
I told someone that I am autistic in a conversation, and they said, "oh, but you don't seem awkward."...I said I actually do feel quite awkward in social conversations, and she just kept trying to say I was doing fine. Ugh, I just had wanted to let them know if I'm doing something they may find odd, I am not trying to make them uncomfortable
I've been posted to that subreddit so MANY times and at this point I think it just exists as a "hey let's point and laugh at people who don't fit MY view of the disorder" (Literally once got posted for a tumblr talking about how we live with hEDS because, as the person put it, "my girlfriend has it, she said it doesn't work that way" meanwhile a friend got posted for "experiencing autism wrong". The subreddit is just there to harass)
self diagnosis has to be done well and properly, however this notion that people paint where there's a mass influx of young people self misdiagnosing after taking two quizzes is just delusional.
also just completely misunderstanding younger people. they try on different identities, looking to see what fits and makes them comfortable. it’s a part of growing up and discovering yourself. inevitably, some may find that they are actually autistic, and the ones who don’t will move on. but no, there isn’t a bunch of teens running around claiming autism just because.
I think the big lesson is to not trust strangers (and especially teenagers) at their word for multiple reasons!
@@robotortoiseUm, I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding you, but to clarify for the OP, they are saying that we *should* be less sceptical about teenagers saying they're autistic, because it's not true that there's a lot of teens whimsically self-diagnosing as autistic after barely any research.
So, we should listen to teens when they say they think they might be autistic and take them seriously, and, you know, help them.
@@megan-mr9vkThis is just like how trans people do.
Try on different identities to see what fits.
And there is also the conspiracy about "every kid is becoming trans now a days" which is unfounded and untrue.
Unfortunately, every minority is told this. "Everyone wants to be like you (this is a bad thing?) and they're all confused and you're making them x/y/z."
@@robotortoisethat is one of the dumbest takes i have heard in a while
I don’t like telling anyone I am on the spectrum and have several disorders. It is constant scrutiny and judgement. What made me sad is a friend who I started to trust and I let down my guard said the words I hate. “You are being so loud” “Can you calm down” “You’re embarrassing me” “Did you take your medication”.
I don’t want friends any more.
I just want to be alone.
I get what you feel, it hard to be different from the normies, but maybe if you still want them to be friends itt will help if you ask that friend if you can have a serious conversation about it one time where you explain how those words hurt you and why you are like you are.
this is emotionally painful, im sorry for what you'e been through. i had experiences like hearing these words too, but not from a trusted friend, so to think about your feelings at the time makes me so sad. hope you enjoy your time and if you like, find great friends 🍎 (i like this emoji so im putting it as a heart...) (sorry for my english).
I feel this; it’s unbelievably heartbreaking.
Also, my 81yo mother started to say all those things less often just in the past 6 months. I think one of her friends might’ve said something to her bc lord knows she never took me seriously when I told her it wasn’t ok. Bananas that I’m proud of her for trying?
I wish no one ever disappointed you like that
Screw them.
(I hate people like that. If they want to be friends let them come crawling back with a nothing less than perfect apology and even then, still screw them.)
I don't have spicy autism. I have SCORCHING autism. SCALDING autism
The one that gets me is when I explain the lack of eye contact and disjointed conversation with "sorry, it's just the autism showing" people feel the need to explain how they know a toddler with autism and how they emotionally explode and are near impossible to handle our endure.
Are they implying I can't be autistic because I seem almost normal? Or are they trying to open a conversation by showing they have some familiarity with the subject???
Either way, I've rehearsed my response in case I ever feel comfortable enough to tell anyone I'm autistic and they give me that song and dance with this: "yeah, I can imagine what my parents went through, but at least I can show there's hope with enough training that a normal life can be achieved. It's still very difficult and I try very hard so nobody can see how hard it is for me though."
Maybe then I can give advice of what I had hoped people could have done for me as a child? Like, give them at least 10 minutes to calm down, orient themselves and digest what happened, then explain in great detail what the world expects them to show. This is where your eyes go, this is what your face does, this is what you do with your hands, etc...
as someone who actually has asthma i have had the condition delegitimized in the exact same way as my autism. that it's basically "gone" and it's not "serious enough" when i say it makes it difficult for me to exercise bc i'm not having the same level of attacks i had when i was younger, just like i'm not as socially inept as i was when i was, like, five. i've been told to "just exercise more" plenty to get over the fact that i struggle to breathe when exercising too much (even though it's under the diagnostic metric that asthma can be triggered BY EXERCISE). same thing with my autism, i just need to get over the fact that i struggle to get organized, or can't pick up hints.
i just think it's funny that these people on reddit are acting like physical disabilities or conditions are treated any better lmao
also self-diagnosing with asthma is something you absolutely can do lol how do you think some adults find out they were asthmatic their whole lives?
My boyfriend was extremely sick as a kid, like full asthmatic. Spent months on the hospital because of it. Now I've never seen him have an asthma attack, and he does normal exercises and stuff and it's completely fine. I would kick anyone who told him he's cured
i'm not asthmatic, but i have a lot of headaches and frequent migraines (don't know what it's caused by or what's the name of the condition because doctors don't listen to me). they're also triggered by exercise. when they first appeared i tried to just "exercise them out" because i was doing sports at the time, but then i had to stop because i just kept getting worse with no treatment. now i don't exercise at all and i constantly get told by ome family members and doctors that i should and that it's all my fault in the first place because i didn't exercise enough and that i should just learn to push through the pain. like how does any of this make any sense?? (btw i also have trauma relating to sports and exercise being tied to morals and just in general being worthy of existing, so their comments are not helping at all, treatment and support would probably help, but i'm not getting any of those any time soon)
@@snowkr3580 Last time I checked,, it's pretty hard to exercise if you CAN'T BREATHE. I'm sorry you have to deal with people you should be able to trust being so stupid
I had an incredibly close friend from middle school all the way to high school. The speed at which they lost all respect for me when I got my autism diagnosis was genuinely heartbreaking. People don't realize how fucking hurtful it is to tell someone they're faking.
I had a friend who was diagnosed with autism, and so many people avoided her. One of my friends moms said they shouldn’t hang out with her because she’d “drag everyone down socially”. It was so sad and cruel since she was such a sweet person. She moved away, and god I miss her.
I always thought/felt it was nosey to ask people personal questions, always felt uncomfortable but obligated to answer others’ questions of me. I’m 55 and have only learned in the last year that people tend to like being asked questions and I’ve spent too long thinking it’s rude to ask questions that I feel too uncomfortable about it to change. I think if someone wants to tell me something they will, otherwise it’s not my business to pry.
Same!! I just realized this within the past year and have no plans of changing bc I’m exhausted from a lifetime of trying to change for everyone. I’m 47. It seems to make the most sense to say something if you want, don’t if u don’t. I despise being asked questions esp personal, I always golden-ruled it too
I'm 46 and just have learnt one has to return questions (except "how are you?"). If one wants to tell something about themselves, they may ask a question, hear an answer and then say: "Well, and I (am going to spend my holidays or else) like this..." It's quite socially acceptable and doesn't make anyone think of an interrogation 😂.
@@heidiburton929 Totally relate to your explanation 👌
@@elsiest.irvyne9515 I’m kind of done with ‘socially acceptable’ at this point in my life. I don’t even care if someone I’ve never met before and never going to meet again thinks I’m rude, they can think what they like. I know if I’m not intending to be rude and if they want to take it another way I’m not going to waste my energy on arguing the toss. It’s not often I’m in a situation where there are going to be consequences if I don’t engage in reciprocal meaningless small talk. I’m more concerned about my interactions with other ND peeps. In those instances I genuinely care about how they are, what they are up to, and it feels awkward in a different way to ask those small talk questions but I can just say ‘genuine question’ or something and that’s okay.
WAIT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THAT?
Hey, not autistic but a really big fan of this video. I have DID which is probably the most commonly mocked disorder on that subreddit and every day it feels so disheartening to see members of the DID community harassed because people assume they're faking over things like... sharing their experiences or just making jokes about their condition. I really resonated with this video hearing you talk about things like these people getting mad over people making jokes about / having a sense of humor about their condition, or the notion that we have to be sad all the time to be even slightly considered someone who "really has" the disorder. Places like FDC are the very reason I'm very private about my condition, though I wish I could find the courage to be more candid and spread awareness about the way I/we live without the fear of an online hate campaign.
All in all, that subreddit is an awful place. I've never been posted there but the notion terrifies me. I'm honestly shocked and abhorred that reddit still allows such a mask-off safe space for bullying disabled and neurodivergent people because a couple of online losers personally think that they're faking their condition based on a ten-second video clip.
I think videos like this really help out mental health and disabled communities at a whole, because a lot of us don’t have a very strong online presence as a community the same way the autistic community does. Don’t have a diagnosis? You’re faking, even if you never claimed one to have one to begin with. Act the wrong way? You’re faking. Breath in a way that most people don’t like? You’re faking. I hate fakedisordercringe so bad. I have not been called every name under the sun and denied treatment again and again to have my life deemed a JOKE because I don’t fit into the mold of what someone with my problem does. This work helps us all in that regard
Unfortunately there is an entire subreddit dedicated to bullying people with DID who they decide are "faking" it.
11:24 Autism isn't "technically labeled as a disorder" it is a disorder. Saying that kinda takes away from it being a disability. Autism is a disability and that's neither a positive or a negative thing.
I was diagnosed later in my teens with autism, and I think it’s because my stims (rubbing fabric, mostly satin like materials with my hands/on my face) were very subtle compared to “typical” (like the hand flapping, also in quotation because idk if that’s the right wording) stims, and I was a very quiet and reserved kid. I’ve been told by some people who were diagnosed that autism is uncommon to be diagnosed in teen years so I don’t have it, so I wanted to share this and let people who were told the same thing know that their struggles are valid and there’s people out there who will be there to share experiences and feelings with. You’re not alone :)
Autism can be diagnosed at any age - early childhood, later childhood, teens, any decade of adulthood. And a lot of us have very subtle stims that nobody would recognise as a stim or sometimes nobody would even realise we're doing - like tensing and relaxing a muscle without actually moving that limb.
My autism has been invisible to the outside world for most of my life.
I got a late diagnosis that made me realise I had constructed a set of masks to wear with certain people and in certain situation without really realising it.
It was quite the revelation.
I am recently late-diagnosed, and if you don't mind me asking, since your revelation have you found conversating much more difficult? Such as a difficulty in answering questions (like this one), perhaps developing multiple responses if text and having difficulty in choosing between them?
Or when organisations ask if you still have autism.
NO IT JUST DISAPPEARED!!
🙄
They do???
@@1EmuFan
Yes, really. They do this to amputees, too
@@1EmuFan Yes, All the time.
I suppose they have to make sure your still disabled 🙄
I complained about this to my Social Security assesor and she said there's some law that they have to do reassessments every few years. Which doesn't mean it's not a stupid law, but at least there's _a_ reason they do it, I guess.
The law itself is cruel, pointless, damaging, and stupid. We can agree on that.
Not me literally learning that you have to ask someone “and how about you?” from *this* video 😭😭😭
16:00 I personally self diagnosed myself with depression and anxiety because im scared to not be put in a mental rehabilitation or even jail so its a better option
"Citizens of the Internet" is really more like Denizens. They have no place to go, but backwater corners like this.
If we're citizens of the internet, when can we vote out those in charge? Or are we actually subjects?
@NJGuy1973 Good philosophy there, I meant it more as an insult to those on that fisgusting reddit site, but you give a good point.
21:40 I have Chronic bone pain. No one knows what it is. No doctors can figure it out, Xray's clean, blood work normal, everything's normal. Iv had this since i was 5. THATS def an invisible illness. Iv never doubted anyone's pain bec just bec you cant see someone's suffering, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We've even dont brain scans and nothing. We dont know why my bones hurt and intense medication does NOTHING. iv been crying myself to sleep when the pain triggers for over 20 years, im only 26. your never to young to "be sick". Newborns get cancer diagnoses... :( Never let anyone medically gas light you and tell you "its not bad enough". especially if IT IS DIBILITATING.
Gosh, I want to ask so many questions to help get to the bottom of it. You shouldn't have to live like that. Sending so many comforting vibes. Take care, and may someone find an answer and treatment for you very soon.
I deeply feel the mental and physical suffer of chronic hidden pain
i'm25 and it's been 8 years of everyday every seceand headech that don't have a reason. I wish everyday to just have a tumor or such,that explain this pain and then i CAN get treatment. and no one really gets it bz you don't show the pain, bz it's chronic and if you show it every time you are in pain,u will be a dramaqueen. And bz it's chronic your pain tolerance get higher then average
I swear they can not live a day with the pain we are living with all our life
@@TheCloverAffiliate12thankyou ♡ i wish i knew even who to ask. 3 specialist and none of them can agree. One thinks is Fibro, the other thinks the idea is redonk, and the other just is medicating me hoping smth sticks :/
@@parisadr5142its hinestly trash that unless you have a visable lump or turning green you arent "sick enough." 🎉everyone deserves to feel well enough to preform basic needs🎉 Pls remember that you arent alone~~ Try *Your* best, even if it dosnt seem like much at all ❤ your enough.
@@darkdest6664 Of course! ❤ Yeah, none of those seem to be very helpful approaches at all. You don't have to say whether you've done this or not if you don't feel comfortable, but perhaps a geneticist could be of some help to see if something is going on on that small of a scale?
This subteddit is why i refuse to post anything about having DID online, because I know they target systems alot on there, and I fear the harassment if i dont present "properly" to them. It sucks because I have no real outlet to be open about it, but the thought of being called fake and targetted because im not miserable all the time or am a little cringe with it makes me want to crawl in a hol and stick to pretending we dont exist. I have been diagnosed for two years now, though aware of it for alot longer, but i doubt stating that would make any difference to these bullies. Oh well.
Maybe try writing a blog? It could be just to write out what you want to, it doesn't have to be public and maybe talk to friends and family about it? Family could be bio or found family
@@purplealpaca9278 I have very few people in my life that know about me having DID, my roommates, obviously are aware, and one of them is a system herself. My bio family, for my safety, can't know the full extent of what I go through. I did have a blog on Tumblr for a while, but have kinda abandoned it for some time now., and even when I did use it, I was very sparse in my posts. Maybe I'll return to it at some point. Neither my face nor full name are on it luckily.
@@bbbbbthn3
Going back to the Tumblr blog might be a good idea. Good luck and have a good day
@@purplealpaca9278 thank you for being awesome.
Orion just did an interview with an autistic creator who has DID 😊
Oh my god, thank you for discussing this!
Attitudes from fake disorder cringe have crept around everywhere. From autism to DID to personality disorders. People saying they're defending people who 'really have (insert community here)' while points boil down to the same rhetoric you usually hear from abelist spaces. Its a little concerning honestly, as it feels like these communities were built on putting people down and muddying up information (eg. Saying a real symptom of a condition isn't a symptom, usually out of ignorance). Yes, there are videos that spread misinformation, but alot of the time fake disorder cringe comes down to ignoring the lived experience of a person and denying their identity. Its like neurodiverse people are never allowed to be happy, and people are trying to take happiness from them by denying they have the condition at all and demeaning them.
I've also seen it in neurodiverse communities as well. It worried me because the people who tend to doubt a diagnosis the most is people who actually have the disorder and I really hope this doesn't stop people from understanding themselves.
I might make a video about this subject in the future too
I got diagnosed earlier this year with both autism and ADHD (although the elderly psychologist said Aspbergers and ADD, which my doctor told me were outdated).
People posting about their autism and ADHD is what inspired me to seek a diagnosis. So, I'm thankful for people who posted shorts about their symptoms because that's what led to me seeking what's up with me. It also helped my sister get diagnosed with ADHD because my grandma didn't believe autism or ADHD existed until the psychologist explained what it was in EXCRUCIATING detail.
I also don't get the if someone has a disability that means they can never be happy or content. Having a disability doesn't mean you have to be miserable all the time. It just means you may need accommodations & extra help/support with something. Yes having a disability does make life harder but it doesn't mean it should consume every aspect of someone's life & I don't get people saying something is infantizing people with disabilities just because beautiful. Personally I would rather have a butterfly representing my neurodivergency than a puzzle piece with the exception of if it is a puzzle piece that has one of my special interests on it because then it would show my love of puzzles & a special interest like video games, horror, wolves, or sharks
I have chronic bone pain. Iv had it for 20 years. If i didnt make jokes about it or just laugh at the sheer insanity of my idiot doctors being inconsitant when trying to diagnose the problem, id be unalived. 😂 LET PPL BLOW OFF STEAM ffs. stop policing ppls humor.😂
Funnily enough, asthma used to be believed to be a psychological issue, not a physiological one. So the comparison works out?
Makes sense with how deeply rooted ableism has been in European society way before they ever colonized America. It’s still basically barely any better than it was in the 1700s in many ways, as I’ve begun to learn about US disability lack of rights, protections, and laws.
Oh goodness… this happened to me too many a time…
Acquaintance: ”Soooo, aren’t you going to ask about my summer holiday?”
Me: ”No. I am not interested in what you did.”
And people did not understand why i was so RUDE.
DAFUQ, I WAS JUST BEING HONEST! Because ”honesty is the best policy”!
Ughhhhh. Yeah. The signs were there all this time…. #latediagnosed
I'm kind of with you on that. If they want me to be interested they had best have some good damn stories to tell me.
If I ask anyone about something to be nice, I just then sit there…. Not knowing what to reply with because I just do not care in the slightest aaahhhhhhhh
Try my answer - *shrug* "You'll tell me if you want too." :D
this is how i feel when people want to show me pictures on their phone. like i don’t careeeeee
i’m autistic, but honesty without kindness is just cruelty. it may be hard to learn but it’s important irregardless
in general social media is now a toxic waste dump. I generally avoid