Let's Call This Out for What It Is. It's Bullying.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ค. 2024
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Characterisation of Special Interests: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33034...
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Ugh! Can you imagine finding yourself on fake disorder cringe?
If you missed my video discussing whether it’s okay to speculate about whether certain celebrities are autistic: th-cam.com/video/6CfAni1BIME/w-d-xo.html
If you need some autism memes after this one to boost your mood, here’s the playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLEHi2YmjD7gEssdqTn0247t_niQMt2b22.html
P.S. Remember we’re TOO HOT to worry about idiots like this who embarrass themselves on the internet. Have a lovely week! 💛💛💛🐝🐌
Thank you for being able to verbalize about autism, I send my family your videos because they don't understand me, because my language is not as good.😅
I'm Black and autistic. Thank you for acknowledging how people are biased against seeing Black people as autistic.
Kudos to you.
im not even autistic
i wanted to buy the case so bad, but somehow it doesn't work :( sad because it's limited..
That ‘No Bullying’ rule is very heavily ironic.
Bullies are sensitive beings. They can’t handle what they dish out, after all. It’s why schools defend bullies from their victims.
Right? I used that subreddit a while back when I used to have Reddit (I recently deleted my Reddit account because someone was being creepy to me on there), and people bullied and downvoted me to oblivion on there just because I mentioned that I was autistic in a comment and I was on iPhone and I didn’t know how to see the rules while commenting at the time (I think it was before they added the little “see the community rules” tab on top of the comment or I just missed it idk). Some were just mean to me and yelled at me for breaking the rules like a bunch of goody two shoes while one made fun of my pfp (which at the time was Severus Snape from Harry Potter) and others were claiming that I was faking autism for attention. I’m glad this TH-camr is exposing the subreddit for the hell that it is and I really appreciate her for doing this as someone who got bullied on that subreddit and left it because of how bad it was and still is!
Well they have to add it so they can say to Reddit if they get banned “we don’t promote bullying, we have rule against bullying!” Despite the fact that the subreddit is a bully subreddit.
Oh dw, they only mean "no bullying" when it's toward one of THEIR members they agree with. That's why the "no trauma-dumping" rule only also applies to those they disagree with, it's perfectly fine though when someone writes entire paragraphs about how autism is the worst disease ever because they saw a video of someone "faking" it.
@@sadie8834 Yeah that's most likely it considering that I got bullied to oblivion on there when I shared that I was Autistic and I would never use my Autism as an excuse to be racist when someone posted somebody using their Autism as an excuse to be racist.
I'm Black and autistic. Thank you for acknowledging how people are biased against seeing Black people as autistic.
It’s been hell lately trying to get an official diagnosis. My doctors who suggested I get tested, both Black women who know me well, have been annoyed too every time I come back from a new referral and tell them how I get either denied or misdiagnosed. I hope your search goes well ❤
Since I am newly aware of my autism, it has been a topic a lot for me and my husband asked me,
“why does it seem like white people are way more likely to have autism, or are seen with it?”
So I did a little research and it showed that hispanic/latino statistically have more autism than white people, and that black people had even more statistically than the hispanic/latino community. The percentages were small in differences (by 1-2%), but it showed that what people assume is false.
It is only that since this is still relatively “new” to the world, awareness and education wise, it seems like privilege also presents itself with this, where white people get more help and attention for it.
Im still angry that women are treated like they have no pain receptors or exaggerate things because they weren’t even included in medical research until the 90s. And then for them to say women can’t be autistic or that a RACE can’t be autistic….
Biology doesn’t discriminate when it comes to who can get what. Humans are humans. Our genes are just shuffled in a bag each time a life fights to be born. It’s time the planet accepts it and respects everyone for it.
@@raigresham1298 Is it possible you have something else?
I'm unofficially diagnosed by someone , who's a therapist, I know from my voluntary work. Although I think she's probably right, I'm open minded to the possibility I have something else.
@@alunjones3860 I’m always open to the possibility. Although, I do know myself (not to say in a mean way) and trust the people who have spent more time with me.
"No white knighting" The entire purpose of the subreddit being literally white knighting:
"only we're allowed to white knight grr grr >>>:[[[" /j
My dear dear DID/BPD/ADHD/AUDHD havers! I'm here to rescue you from these VILE, CRIIINGE, people!!!
Light is a spectrum too, yet no one is having internet fights over how blue and yellow should be the same
Fr! It like they don't know what SPECTRUM means
Actually….ugh, people online have argued with me about name colors…. My point was yours , that light is on a spectrum and you can measure the wavelength, and literally define which wavelength belongs to which color name…and also that common names get confusing because of all of the tertiary colors in between each wavelength…. it’s unbelievable, the things people get angry over nowadays.
@@MermaidMakesSpeaking of being angry and common names, there’s a plan to change the common names of a bunch of species of bird to remove references to people, and so many people are PISSED. I’m happy to see them go b/c wtf is a “Wilson’s” warbler, but it’s also such a small thing to get mad about.
@@Xenephos my special interest is zoology/ specifically herpetology which I studied in college , and I do know about a lot of the reclassification and renaming of birds! A similar thing is happening in herpetology, and because of advances in genetics, there are a ton of herps getting reclassified as species’ genomes are sequenced!
I’ve noticed a lot of older people get into bird watching, at least in my state, and typically older people don’t like change, especially people 60+. If you’ve been calling something one thing your whole life, why suddenly change it? That’s just me trying to put myself in their shoes, though. It’s still an unreasonable thing to be upset over! I mean, that’s why we have scientific names. Common names are largely colloquial and you could have several common names for one species, or have many species share a common name.
I love how people are like "you can't self-diganose, but I have diagnosed you"
These same people will also cite or defer to the medical establishment when it suits them (e.g., when it allows them to gatekeep or dismiss people), and sneer at it when it doesn't (e.g., when it affirms or corroborates the experiences, feelings, and symptoms of the 'fakers' and 'lolcows').
they tell people "you cant self diagnose autism, you're just being a narcissist," when narcissistic personality disorder is also a diagnosed able and shouldn't be just be thrown on to others you dislike.
NPD doesn't deserve all the hate it gets.
@@dinosaysrawralmost grifter esqu?
That's crazy. I tell them: "So according to you someone can't diagnose themselves because they are not an expert, but you can undiagnose people when you are not an expert!"
I see.
I disagree with self diagnosing in most cases, but even I wouldn't do that, how do these people not see that it's just as bad as self diagnosing?
Places like r/fakedisordercringe is why i was always in denial of the fact i could be neurodivergent. After i realized it was all just bullying and abelism, i finally was able to go to a professional about it, and feel proud of who i am. This subreddit is so harmful.
So glad you're now proud of who you are - that place is horrible!!
Y'know? You don't need a diagnosis to be neurodivergent. It's only an identifier. Anyhoo, glad you were able to get assessed and diagnosed.
Not as harmful as the persons that are discussed There... i am glad there are places like that subreddit to Show people that most disorders are Not what youtube and tiktok Shows. This subreddit helps to fix the negative impact of the "awarness" those youtubers and tiktokers spread
@@coralinejones-ef3fi What the hell are you even talking about
@@RedGnoll that i am glad there are places like fakedisordercringe to call those people out so the world does Not get more wrong pictures in their heads of how autism looks. Its good to call them out and i am thabkful there are places like fakedisordercringe
“No I was not having meltdowns as a kid because that shit was beat out of me” hit me like ooo shit
I don't know if people who tend more to shutdowns have a privilege I don't even wanna go there to be honest
@tinabrah1699 No fr I verbally said "ooou bitch" when she said that 😭 I ain't neverrrr felt so seen
I didn't have meltdowns when I was younger they actually started and got worse as I got older I never had a meltdown till 13
Admittedly, I did get screamed at about my wheelchair once…he kept screeching “WHO PRESCRIBED YOU THAT CHAIR???!!” 💀
Frick that. I can use a wheelchair even if I'm NOT disabled. It's nobody's business why someone uses a wheelchair. It straight up just doesn't matter. You can use one because you think it's fun and it makes no difference.
I can't imagine a single person *wanting* to use a wheelchair. Everything is practically made to make wheelchairs as inconvenient as possible..
@CandiedStyled Literally, I can't even operate one because of my eds which is pretty ironic
I can’t fathom choosing to use a wheelchair for “attention.” I was DELIGHTED to “graduate” from using a wheelchair when I wanted to spend a day on the move to using a walker. Using a wheelchair is SO fucking hard on your body
Regarding "TV" not being a special interest: the ultimate autism stereotype in Rainman literally has a TV special interest.
Abed from Community is another iconic autistic character who is fascinated with TV.
I also feel like the main character in "The Cable Guy" was autism "coded". He knew every obscure fact abput television shows and how to fix tvs inside and out. Tell me that isn't a special interest.
Literally anything can be a special interest lmfao. There's no limit to stuff in the universe.
Yeah people are like "But tv shows are a Normal thing to be interested in and not Weird and Embarrassing so it can't be a special interest" 😑
@@RainbyFIN people really think autism is only when suffering.
Not only is the no bullying rule ironic, but so is the "no ancedote" rule bc it's commonly used in professional studies and essays 😭😭 like you can tell they just want an excuse to be ableist
"no ancedotal evidence." I see they just disregard one scientific method completely.
The anecdotal rule is just to prevent people who actually have experience with certain symptoms from debunking some of their uneducated stupidity. I joined that subreddit, and I regretted it quickly. I saw a couple examples of people calling out someone for “faking” a tremor, when the tremor was clearly real. Their reasoning was idiotic and showed they have no idea how tremors work (ex: “How can she film steadily with one hand when her other hand is shaking?” Because tremors aren’t always in both hands, and/or because tremors are easier to manage when holding heavy objects 🙄)
@@gigahorse1475yeah, I get tics as a part of my autism, there have been times where it got so bad i would've lost my job if my job wasn't so understanding (especially since when they get that bad, they come unreasonable anger and aggression. And crying because it literally feels like I'm feeling emotions that aren't mine.) But they usually only show on one hand at a time. I also get a lot in my face or one shoulder (the side varies,) like to where my body physically hurts as a result of the constant twitching and sudden jerking. But these people would tell me my tics aren't real. 🙄
That's right, no bullying, no anecdotes, just pure, uninterrupted, unfounded opinion. In other words, some people never left middle school and still feel the need to piss on others for clout.
It is ridiculous. So much of the healthcare system, is self-reporting. Not to mention when we are talking about recording history, first person historical accounts... Which is what an anecdotal story is, are some of the most important. Especially when they come from the average person and not those in power.
I remember being 16 years old and doxxed by that subreddit, it was horrible.
I am disabled and during COVID I spent a lot of time on Reddit since I couldn't go outside.
The subreddit took it upon themselves to absolutely tear 16 year old me to shreds and destroy me with all the information they could find
That's so evil, jfc. I'm so sorry you experienced that situation 😔
That's horrible. You didn't deserve that. Nobody does. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
i hope you're okay now, that sucks :(
So much love to you ❤
Unfortunately, physical disabilities are questioned FAR more often than people think. People really DO ask "do you REALLY need that wheelchair?" or "what KIND of doctor diagnosed you?"
I've had someone pull my walker out from underneath me before because they said I "didn't look like [I] needed it."
Having your disability constantly scrutinized is a common trait amongst all people with disabilities. It's frustrating when people say things like "you wouldn't touch someone else's cane without permission, so why would you touch their service dog?" when people absolutely WILL touch your cane without asking for permission. It leads to a lot of undue envy from people with invisible disabilities to appear "more disabled," and therefore be treated more seriously. The sad truth is that ableists don't really care, they want all disabilities to be equally invisible to them - out of sight so that they don't have to make accommodations, or come to terms with the fact that, statistically speaking, the longer they live, the more likely it is that they themselves will become disabled.
I recommend that anyone with a disability, visible or not, be well versed in their rights and have a strong support system. We are much stronger when we band together against systemic ableism. Having the right contacts and knowing the right things to say can make a HUGE difference when it comes to convincing the people who actually need to be convinced (AKA, not randos on Reddit lol)
I screenshot your comment. It's beautifully written. with everything that happen in this world rn it's never been more appropiate to stand in solidarity❤
also more people need to read about history of disabled justice and other marginalized identity worldwide
people even have pushed my wheelchair without permission. and told me I'm too young to need one.
@jonah8231 The same has happened to me, unfortunately. People don't realize that when you push a wheelchair user's wheelchair without asking for permission, it feels both like a violation of boundaries and even like being kidnapped. You have no control, and you don't know where they are taking you.
As for being told that we are not "old enough" to be disabled, It is a constant struggle. People feel like you need to "earn" your disability, whether that be through age, service, or "bad choices," when the reality is that sometimes things just happen. Illnesses happen, accidents happen, genetics happen... These things do not discriminate
I knew a guy that walked with a cane and people would actually tell him that he was too young to need a cane
the whole thing is giving "all disorders are fake because i find it bothersome to have to consider that not everyone or their needs are exactly like mine."
And/or, "I find it upsetting that some people who share my diagnosis might be embarrassing or cringe according to general societal standards."
@@dinosaysrawr considering the sub's rule against lived experiences, I'd be surprised if anyone in there actually had the diagnoses they're claiming other people don't have
@@dietotakualmost everyone with a disability has dealt with this accusing of faking nonsense. Even my VISIBLE disabilities have been written off by certain ppl. I was once told i should be walking just fine because some cross country runner lost his legs and still runs on blades. Nevermind he was otherwise healthy and i am not.
@@dietotaku , some of the most aggressively-ableist people I've known have been either in denial about their own disability or illness or who were clearly harboring a great deal of shame, resentment, and self-loathing around it. I'd have trouble fathoming why neurotypical and able-bodied people would want to spend all of their free time on a forum devoted to dissing people's fake and exaggerated ailments unless they had *some* kind of baggage around that topic---though, some people are just bullies at heart, and there are certainly people who just go for the low hanging fruit simply because it's low-hanging.
Yes “uhh I have to accommodate and accept other people differences” even tho nd’s have been trying to adapt to the nt world this whole time!
reddit: "self diagnosis isn't valid, but i am going to diagnose you as neurotypical"
To be fair, they really are all assholes, but neurotipical isnt a diagnosis but rather the lack of one
But… then it wouldn’t be a self diagnosis? Are you intentionally acting dumb or just stupid?
@acoustic_. it was meant as: people self diagnosing based on research and their own lived experiences isn't valid.
but their diagnosis on a person they've never even met based on limited information through the internet somehow is valid?
and yes, them diagnosing you isn't self diagnosis.
i'm not great with words, and it's poorly worded, so i guess just stupid?
@@knut5328 i honestly dont think your coment is poorly writen, anyone with two braincells should be able to understand what you meant
@@ohdarling6657 no, it was pretty stupid. And you are too.
r/fakedisordercringe: you can’t diagnose yourself from a 5 second TikTok, but I am going to diagnose what you _don’t_ have from a 5 second TikTok I saw of you.
me: "no support needs necessary*
also me: *almost dies from neglecting my own needs the first time i tried to maintain a home in isolation"
Aw omg are you ok now?
Honestly, they don't even care if you *do* have a diagnosis!! They will still choose to believe you're not autistic. I've had so many internet strangers undiagnose me and say that my diagnosis is wrong. It doesn't matter what you say to these people, they believe what they want to believe and it makes me so upset
The number of people who will say, "well you don't LOOK like you have OCD," or, "you don't SEEM like you have OCD," when what they mean is, "you don't act like the characters who've been written to have OCD on the movies/tv shows I watch". People who are not medical professionals, don't have the diagnosis I have, don't know anyone IRL who have been diagnosed with what I have. Thank you, diagnosis-deniers, but my psychiatric nurse and my therapist probably understand what goes on in my head better than you.
"I support you until your disabilities disable you, then you're annoying and I hate you"
@@amethystle I really think depictions in movies and TV shows are the main reason for people not believing neurodivergent people. Everyone thinks they know exactly how an autistic person has to behave. Because, why would movies and TV shows oversimplify things or use stereotypes to tell a story, right?
@@amethystleI’m gonna ducking throw hands
Literally this, they’re just ableist and want an excuse to be ableist without looking like a dick
It’s so annoying when people literally put a joking tone indicator on a joke and neurotypicals get offended for a group they aren’t part of. They also get offended that we aren’t constantly talking about the negatives of autism and it’s like… yeah… that’s because I’ve been relentlessly bullied and told that I’m just pretending to have sensory issues. Maybe it’s cause people tell me I’m overreacting when I’m even slightly upset because I can’t control my tone.
The NT thing where you act like an asshole but ostracize people who say mildly "offensive" things is one of my greatest hatreds of them. They think you're being manipulative cuz manipulative double speak is what they do ****all the time ****
Then people tell you that you have a tone, which upsets you and you DO get a tone because of THEM! It’s annoying. Don’t project your own anger onto me. 😒
I've had people whose literally job it is to help individuals with *difficulties* find the resources and support they NEED to survive in this world do this EXACT thing AND threaten to abandon doing their job if *I* didn't 'stop it and apologize'!!
It's funny: they get mad about properly notbshowijg nothing but bad sides but yet when we DO show the bad signs we get bullied, ridiculed, called a liar, and more. Like there is job winning with these aholes.
you really can't win with the assholes, theres always ppl who will be pissed at u fr
That the description of special interests begins with "weird" is very telling. This whole subreddit reminds me of when I heard "some bullies don't want to acknowledge someone's autism because they don't want to admit they have been bullying someone with a disability." I suspect some saw something they recognized, maybe someone similar to someone else they've bullied, and it made them uncomfortable and lash out rather than self-reflect.
Most of that subreddit's rules conflict with one another so extremely to the point that its existence is practically a paradox.
🤣
I was banned from this subreddit for asking for a source that someone was self diagnosed
lol that's rich
I was accused of being "self diagnosed" when i was professionally diagnosed as a little kid and put into special ed. I had an IEP until i graduated. It is valid to request proof of that accusation!
They’ll diagnose you from their armchair after seeing a total of 1 minute of your behavior, but the minute you wanna self diagnose it’s “you’re not a doctor” neither are you!
Oh lord that comment “autism ruins lives” gets me Vesuvius level of rage. I have autism and 3 children with it and IT HAS NOT ruined our lives. They are the absolute joy and sunshine of my life. I could NOT imagine or ever want a life without them.
They're lucky to have you.
It makes me wonder if they think Autism ruins the autistic person's life or the parent's life. I have never felt like my life was ruined by having Autism, but it was definitely derailed in many ways because no one noticed it when I was younger.
@@bboops23This is a great way of putting this, especially for people who were diagnosed later on as adults. It was a decades long derail before things started to come together in my mind and I make a plan to work through it all.
The only reason autism ruined my parents' lives is because they refused to provide me with any accomodations and tried to force the autism out of me. The only time autism ruins my life is when i try to not be autistic.
Sure, being autistic isnt easy, but the worst parts of it almost always involve neurotypicals trying to pressure me into hiding my disability at all times.
Same here
I relate sooo much to her talking about how her Autistic traits were beat out of her. That was exactly my experience as an AFAB person. I had all the stereotypical traits/challenges as a kid but was told that I was just "stubborn" (by NUMEROUS professionals!!) so my parents thought I was choosing to be a brat and not speak or potty train. I didn't find out about Autism until I was 17, and I was so excited to find an explanation for my life long suffering I had to hide. Then I was shut down by friends, family and another doctor. I look "normal." I wanted to become an activist, but now I don't even talk about being Autistic online anymore because of people like this on this subreddit. They make me so furious, I would never be able to control myself to exist in the online space.
Me too💚 and Agreed 🧡
Those are the same people who loose their minds
when a wheelchair user moves their legs
That’s crazy because THEY DID DO THAT LOLLL…. That’s just insane to me because there are way more other uses for wheelchairs than just paralysis smh…
The hypocrisy of thinking that a person isn't qualified to self-diagnose, but they themselves think they're qualified to decide that a stranger in on the internet is or isn't autistic without having a conservation with them once.
Also many of the people who say 'they can just tell' can never tell anything about anyone, because they come from a place of prejudice and not empathy or understanding.
“if you can self-diagnose then I can un-diagnose” I’ve heard someone say, as if that makes a lick of sense at all
@@notNajimi at least its not hypocritical, its just a baseless position
It took my therapist 3 day of autism assesmeent to diagnosed and these mf try doing it in from watching short tiktok vid😮💨
@@saratoga6663 Well, in this context it's also kind of hypocritical. Their standpoint is that you need a thorough clinical process to be diagnosed, but at the same time they think they can diagnose/un-diagnose you based on a 20 second TikTok.
That’s what drives me the most nuts, they say you can’t diagnose because you’re not a Dr but then feel like they can when they know even less about you??
27:16 you know, the people who use “well you survived this long without support” as an argument remind me of bad fish owners, who put their betta fish in a bowl, and say “he’s happy and thriving!!” When bettas can live incredibly long in an awful environment..
My own GP used that argument on me to try to dissuade me from seeking medication for my DIAGNOSED ADHD. I should say my former GP because eff that noise. Yes, Debbie, I've masked my whole life and been "successful" by feeling like every second of every day I'm clinging to order by my fingernails. Why on earth should I want a treatment to try to live instead of simply stressfully exist? /s
It took me a long time to realize I even have support needs. I thought I was just doing something wrong and that I'm not capable. Just because someone is surviving does not mean they are thriving
@@Swabblydooit’s still hard for me to tell what things I need support with and what things I just need to get better at lmao
"I have survived and wish I didn't. Next? Got any ideas to cheer me up?"
Key word being "survived"
I remember being blasted on r/cringetopia years ago. I started recieving death threats, getting horrible insults, and being called a p*do because I suck my thumb as a stim and mainly have a childlike personality and intrests. After that I stopped being able to really post myself on the internet which I had done daily for years. The internet scares me:(
OH GOSH IM SO SORRY- ur stim is completely valid !!! And I’m sorry so many stupid people fake claimed you like that
The rules are literally "don't criticize us/ don't argue against us"
Why is it that bullies always need to be protected from their victims?
They're too fucking fragile lol
literally primary and middle school man. my exprience isnt that bad but for other disabled kids their bully would get slap at the wrist at worst. diabolical
They're always too whiney and prideful to even think about dealing with consequences for their nasty actions.
Because they're cowards and start crying and playing victim when anyone even kind of criticizes them.
In my case it's because I'm weak and ironically dumb.
"I'm feeling good today, let's look outside at what the rest of the world has to offer..." *Sees this subreddit. "Okay, back inside I go."
Exactly
I don’t know if this was the intention, but when I read this comment, all I could think of was the Squidward meme where he’s taking a sun chair (is that the right word?) outside and he’s happy, but then something happens and he goes inside again.
Or maybe I’m so uncultured and your comment is you quoting Squidward. You see, I did not watch SpongeBob SquarePants growing up (we didn’t have Nickelodeon on our tv). So I just know about the show from memes and videos on TH-cam.
Try looking up pictures of cute polar bears swimming or black baby bear cubs in trees. I guarantee you it will cheer you up.
@@sadie8834 Good suggestion, thanks. I also recommend looking up panda bears playing in the snow, a positive animal content TH-cam channel called The Dodo, and also the official list of poodle crossbreed names. They all have poo or oodle in them and I just can't not find those funny.
@@alicebthegachaweirdo8378 didn't have it either!
OMG what a breath of fresh air. I was medically diagnosed early in like to a family who thought it was best to hide what my parents alternately called mental and intellectual disability, and severely punished me for eve the suspicion I spoke to anyone about it, as well as punishing/torturing me for odd behaviors. My diagnosis changed multiple times, only being classified as autism in the early 1980s, which didn't help much, partly because didn't objective understand what that meant for me, and because then, as now, people still tell me it's a made-up white thing, just like being queer and trans. The few Black support groups I've found are anti-LGBTQ or made up of ageist young people. At 67 years old, Black and Trans, it's too late for me to find my tribe, but it is uplifting to hear voices like yours. Thank you.
i love seeing older queer folks, maam i hope you're thriving and well❤❤
as a 17 year old white trans man, basically the opposite of you besides the trans label, i hope youre doing well and eventually find your tribe, if you have any guidance or words of wisdom amd feel like it please send some over to those ageist people because they need to remember that its queer people your age and even older that paved the way and gave us the things we have now :)
i have been put on this subreddit. for a disorder that i am and have been diagnosed with for years. i have DID. one of the most mocked disorders on the subreddit. they pointed and laughed at me for making ONE funny tiktok to cope with a disorder i got after being repeatedly SAed by multiple people from age 4. but i must be faking it because some of the alters that my child brain made to cope were "cringe". this sub is unimaginably cruel.
and to be honest even if someone is faking its probably for a reason, from a place of deep hurt. making fun of them wont help them realize their pain or confront why their brain is doing this. it will just make them hurt more. the sub is for one purpose only, bullying.
Really sorry that you experienced that :(
Yeah, I’ve seen this subreddit, and I mean, yes, sometimes people ARE genuinely faking and it’s REALLY obvious, but that doesn’t give people the right to assume that you’re faking just because you don’t meet their stereotypes. Anyways, I hope you and and your alters are doing alright nowadays!
I always felt like an imposter about not having meltdowns as a kid. Being from latin america, especially in the 90s or before, a meltdown would warrant a beating with either a sandal or a belt. I just sit on the floor and quietly cry with anxiety every once in a while, even when liv8ng alone
that's still a meltdown. Metldowns don't have to be violent at all.
My meltdowns ranged from anger to crying. I'm almost 33 and I still sometimes just have to breakdown in tears and cry, not just small amounts but we're talking loud sobbing. Your experience is still valid. It's still a meltdown, it's just different.
you can definitely internalize your meltdowns if you're in an unsafe environment so it's completely possible you _were_ having meltdowns or shutdowns and just didn't feel safe enough to externalize them.
My meltdowns look like sitting down for hours and hours and doing nothing when I have every opportunity to do anything I want. And I desperately want. But instead six hours have passed again and my brain turned off so I missed them because I got too worked up. Happens a lot after work. Then I have to pee, shove down a piece of toast, lie on the bed for a few hours and pretend I’m asleep, before I get up and do it all again. I used to throw things but I got sick of cleaning up. And it didn’t help.
I've noticed that a lot of autistic people with extreme meltdowns come from white middle class families who's parents probably didn't hit them. There's definitely a privilege there that people aren't willing to talk about. I certainly never felt safe enough to have a violent meltdown, so I just internalized them and they became shutdowns. You're not alone in that.
Them nit-picking how people cope or express themselves around their own disabilities is WILD, I'm allowed to put stickers on my EDS crutches, and I'm allowed to joke about being "neurospicy", jfc.
Hey fellow spoonie-zebra! May your joints be well seated and may your dopamine flow! ❤
Heeeey one of us!!!!!! Glad to spot you in the wild
Honestly the reason I havent gotten an ADHD or autism diagnosis is because of my Eds journey. I'm on year 13 of still trying to be taken seriously by doctors and getting a proper diagnosis even though I've had 5 people say I have it they can't give me the diagnosis till I see a certain specialist who WON'T accept my Gp's referral 😖. Plus growing up the amount of people that bloody said "oh well you're too young to have xyz" "well you work don't you? " "Why are you crying it wasn't that far to walk" has just made me want to stay in a bubble of silence and internal struggle
the number of times i've seen people in subreddits like these (yes there are multiple) claiming that you can't *really* have a condition if you make your mobility aids cute like ???? i'm sorry i don't remember seeing that one on the hEDS diagnostic criteria lol. imo it isn't any different from picking out cute stylish frames for eyeglasses. touching grass is not enough for these people they need a god damn lawn portal
I just got a referral for an hEDS diagnosis! Woot! EDS/Autism club! 🦓♾️
10:40 Not to be that guy, but as someone who is both mentally and physically disabled, people do in fact question if you actually need a mobility aid/medical equipment or not, especially if you’re young, overweight, not white, etc. 😭
or if it’s a hidden physical disability and you need an aid
My special interest is mushrooms, i adore everything about them. The science of them, sci-fi stories about them, the aesthetic, i love drawing them its the only thing i draw other than my best friend, i have multiple books about mushrooms, i love absolutely everything. This wasnt necessarily related to the video but i really wanted to talk about mushrooms :)
I have mycophobia, but I find mushrooms interesting as well, but its in a way that a horror story is interesting haha
I learn about them to help cope with my fear
Can you share some of your favourite facts or stories?
Lately I found out about the giant fungi that covers an area of 8.8 squared km and has been alive for over 2.500 years. Frightening and amazing at the same time
@@pulsariti3348 when i was younger i was deathly afraid of mushrooms i would scream when i saw one. had to go to a psychologist to get that fixed, never met anyone else with the mushroom phobia
@@pulsariti3348 aha thats usually my go-to mushroom fact, but heres a couple off the top of my head
Inky caps literally melt and turn black as they mature, which is how they get their name
People have been using magic mushrooms since ancient times and only became taboo when Christians started spreading their faith
In ancient-medieval times, the names for mushrooms or a specific type of mushroom (weirdly almost always fly agaric or a relative) in several languages and cultures translates into english as flesh of the god/s
Thats all i can think of right now, i just wrote an essay on mushrooms in mythologies hence the ancient/medieval facts
@@pulsariti3348oh wow!
I still don't get why some people think it's okay to accuse someone of faking a disorder. And for some reason, they, more often seem to focus on people with autism, DID or tourettes... at least that's what I've seen the most
Also, this may be an unpopular opinion, but if -IF - it turns out that someone actually is faking, then they need help, not ridicule. There's probably some underlying issue causing it
Also the rules of that subreddit are kinda awful
Exactly!!
True. Hypochrondria exists but that's a disorder in itself
Why we say plausibly AuDHD, plausibly did/osdd of some sort.. while we're working with our mental health Team to get a diagnostic clarification.... Currently diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 and atypical BPD
I pretty much had to self diagnose to get my therapist to recommend me for testing. She's really great, but she has to abide by strict standards. I basically primed her with my self diagnosis so she got it in her head that I was autistic and when she asked more about it I said that I had never gotten a formal diagnosis due to the differences of doctors in the past, but that I had an informal diagnosis and wanted to seek a formal one. She didn't ever ask who did the informal diagnosis assuming it was one of my previous therapists. I finally got a formal diagnosis. It took eons.
Yeah the DID is a big one they focus on, especially endogenic plurality because they don't see it as real despite the number of people that have lived experience
Don't match enough stereotypes: must be faking for attention.
Match too many stereotypes: must be faking for attention.
If they were sincere, they're "criteria" wouldn't be impossible to meet.
That’s an antisocial disorder in and of itself!
When they immediately put the word ableist in quotations that tells me ALL I need to know 🙄 I've been actively blocking creators who cover this sub, it's absolutely disgusting.
Creators should be held accountable for supporting subs that literally exist to bully disabled people
Bee’s autistic rage calmed me. Like thank you! I have been accused of faking before it makes me so mad because honestly what the heck and why do neurotypicals have to make it their problem? Hearing someone unleash the rage felt good. Someone else releasing the same feelings I have felt but get told to “tone it down” when I rant to my family because the rage is so great.
The way ableist people OBSESS about people with disabilities is baffling. Like so many other discriminatory behaviors it stems from a place of fear and entitlement. This is not free speech it is just hate.
Isn't reddit supposed to be really good at getting rid of hate groups?
I mean, it’s still free speech. I just really dislike that speech. But I wouldn’t advocate for censorship. We should all be able to dialogue, without fear of being shutdown. Unless you’re actually trying to, say, create a genuine physical threat to a group of people
@@nadiastar6264 they have nazi groups, reddit was never good ay removing hate groups
@@JanieBee I respect your input here and I know that you’re right. I also know that I don’t have the patience to listen to people who are full of hate. If others want to discuss with them, then that’s good because I don’t have to stomach for it.
@@JanieBee The is definitely true. The only problem is, it's talking about individuals.
This is a somewhat nuanced topic, since there are people who fake things just for attention, but it's difficult to know, without knowing them personally. It's also true that those who are faking it, generally have an underlying issue, unless they're doing it for monetary gain.
sorry, you asked "did they sleep through it, what happened?" Megan, they're redditors, they don't listen to women. 😭
You are probably right, what is it with redditors and hating women/afabs anyway? (I don't expect an answer, misogyny and misogynoir are both intricate issues that are too muchnto discuss in youtube comments)
@@BorksmithandTheBeef Most redditors are men, and a lot of men are misogynistic, so...
Reddit is just like TH-cam in that it has every type of person and every type of community, good bad and everything else
Correction: They don't listen to ANYONE unless that person is in 100% agreement with them.
@@BorksmithandTheBeef
You know reddit has subreddits that don't, right? Like r/adhdwomen or r/evilautism? Reddit is basically just one big hub for different individual groups/forums, it's not some uniform thing.
I find it ironic that like many on the spectrum I sometimes struggle knowing if someone is being sarcastic/silly or not, and I could pick up that the first girl was taking the piss. :/
Once, just once I posted that I had recently "discovered " that I was autistic on a non-autisim page.....well I won't do that again!
Within 5 minutes I was getting slammed for 'self-diagnosing.
I'm almost 40, married with 3 teens why the Feck would I pretend?
I hate that subreddit so much and again:
For every person faking their disability that you "exposed," there are way more people that just don't fit your stereotype and that get bullied for advocating for themselves.
Is this really worth it?
And what is the supposed gain people would get from "faking" a disabillity of any kind anyway? I mean, to get any supposed monetary benefits you have to have an official diagnosis.
Internet fame? You can get that with far less effort just reading reddit posts or playing video games.
Sympathy? As we see in this subreddit, you are more likely to get hate.
@@yasmin7903 Exactly!
@@yasmin7903 there’s a few benefits. One, on social media they can get sympathy points. Get sympathy and then log off and not deal with symptoms. Ppl fake outright tragedies too. Two, cash. There’s been instances of ppl creating fake fundraisers and/or being “advocates” and selling merch. Three, some have used it to excuse crimes they’ve done. Suddenly they’re disabled and cannot “control themselves”.
There not going on stereotypes there going on the official diagnosis for this stuff
@yasmin7903 cloat that's what these people gain
Funnily enough, as a physically disabled person along with my autism, people have actually questioned my physical disability because I don't nessisarily look like your steriotypical person that uses a cane. It's wild, man.
Same - I’m physically disabled (brittle bone disorder) but most people can’t tell from the outside. And I only occasionally need mobility aids, so people also don’t realize.
Honestly, people treat disability as you need to look thiiiis disabled to be legit™️
and everyone's idea of what is legit and what isn't differs wildly. Including no disabilities are legit regardless of how ridiculous it is.
Yeah, a family friend is disabled and has had her status questioned in public just because she doesn’t use a mobility device. Her disability isn’t visible from a glance so some people have personally denied her access to things like elevators because they didn’t believe she was entitled to use them
Same here, I sometimes use a cane and even when I'm using it I've had people in public try to knock me over to see if I'm faking
@@rabbadidi7385That’s absolutely appalling. Even if you were faking, which it would be bizarre just to assume from looking at someone, physically assaulting random people is SO much worse. I am so sorry
It's a place they made to be ableist without feeling bad about it
It's so weird how people will be ableist, be called out as ableist by disabled people, then get so indignantly mad they act like disabled people don't know what's ableist. Like???? If a black person told you you were being racist, you'd listen, right? And if a woman told you you were being mysoginist?? What's the difference?
It's extra sad that my therapist falls into this category. More often than not, when I tell her I need more accommodation/support in my own home, she'll essentially tell me it's not that big of a deal and I can do it myself. The last time this came up, she LITERALLY said, "and I know you're gonna say this is ableist." *_??????????_* Somebody make it make sense please. Sounds like people are just plain being unapologetically ableist to me!
So, how would these people know who is disabled and who isn’t? Who has a diagnosis and who doesn’t?
If they’re self-diagnosed, then person knows they don’t have an official diagnosis, they’re probably not getting any services, nobody needs to remind them of this.
Even people who are diagnosed can't get services a lot of the time(in the US).. let alone anyone without a diagnosis. They all just like to justify how mean they enjoy being
@natashasullivan4559 yeah same in Poland I'm officially diagnosed with autism but I am not yet considered disabled by the government, until I file an application and a bunch of documents ao a group of people that is seeing me first time in their life can asses if I'm disabled enough and how much disabled exactly (there's 3 levels of disability, and btw my favourite joke is that level 1 (the least savier disability) I just for decoration, cuz if gives you basically nothing! Especially if your disability is autism, there's absolutely nothing I can use that level 1 offers, but I don't even count on getting other levels, wince my friend's grandpa who can berely walk got level 1, so I'm not having high hops, I won't be surprised if they tell me I'mnot disabled at all)
@@rinlozio1108 yeah I think it's pretty much the same here. I'm too "normal" to be disabled. But too disabled to function normally.
I have a hard time holding jobs. I have a hard time getting jobs.
I just lost my government food assistance. Because I guess the government thinks not eating will help me find a job? Which makes no sense?
Yeah, even diagnosed most of us get nothing. So idk what they're talking about about when they try to say self dx people will take resources. THERE AREN'T RESOURCES
There's also the fact that like...kind of everyone self-diagnoses at some point? If you've ever gone to the doctor and said "I have a cold" you self-diagnosed. If you go to the doctor with something in mind that you think you have, you have self-diagnosed. This is useful and valuable because it's how you know what kind of doctor to go to or ask to be sent to. Yes, you can sit there and tell the doctor your symptoms and hope they guess right, but adding what you think it is or what type of specialist you think would help will tell them which part of your symptoms is bothering you most.
Yeah, some people have to resort to self-diagnosing if they don’t have the money or the time to get an official diagnosis. It’s very hard to get a primary care physician (I remember having to call a bunch of doctors back in Nashville where I used to live but my dad and I moved to a country area in Northeast Ohio back in December 2023. Even in the large city of Nashville a lot of these “Primary Care Physicians” were specialized in something specific such as lungs or something which I didn’t need so I could never find one), so if someone is having a hard time finding a mental health professional or they don’t have the money for it then they should be able to self-diagnose AS LONG as they’re doing ACTUAL RESEARCH on the diagnosis rather than just claiming they have that disability just because TikTok said they did. Also, a lot of people get misdiagnosed so self-diagnosing with research can help them as well.
this subreddit reminds me of the one time i was on a game with my friend and he was telling me about a dream he had, i am HUGELY fixated on dreams and whatnot and how they work and a lot of my friends know that. after he finished i was blabbing about what i thought the dream might've meant and talking about how cool dreams were and some random guy came up to us and was like "nobody cares that you're self diagnosed and like something stupid. you're not oppressed"
.... not only did i NOT mention being autistic at all in the conversation, but i am also DIAGNOSED with autism.... and happen to be rather oppressed even without the autism. why do these people think they can just assume things about everyone they see????
There's always the "we can always tell" mfs 💀
I am so sorry you had to endure an edge lord thinking they ate
Oh god i once got told i could never possibly have autism cuz some guy with adhd wasn’t at all like me (im a girl btw so not only two different neurodivergencies but also age difference and me being a girl and him being a boy) 😭😭
Like the time I expressed how I was confused some fans of a TV show I like (literally my special interest too) don't know all the niche things I thought was basic info and some girl next to me said "stop trying to be autistic" ???
When I was much younger (15 to 18) I didn’t think I could be autistic because of these type of people on games and discord. I was always scared to reach out and talk about my struggles.
While at the same time I would be called weird and even recently people assumed I was a little boy because my voice is mono tone and I sound immature for a woman. Make it make sense
Do you like Freud?
Here's the thing with "faking disorders" even if they don't have the condition they say they have most of the time they do have genuine health problems that they need to get help for.
It's absolutely a thing where someone with one undiagnosed condition will go online to find out what is "wrong" with them, then end up convincing themselves they have some other condition. And because of the way psychosomatic symptoms work, they can then end up presenting symptoms of the other conditions.
As an example someone with Anxiety may go on the Internet encounter some really bad information about schizophrenia and wind up convinced they have schizophrenia. And then their conviction that they have schizophrenia causes them to experience legitimate hallucinations (the Hallucinations in this case would be psychosomatic)
Whilst some people do fake disorders, the majority of people who are called out for "faking" are either people who actually have the condition and just present weirdly, or people who are genuinely convinced they do have the condition and may be experiencing psychosomatic symptoms. Both groups need actual help, not to be bullied, even if the second group needs help for something different than they think they do.
Exactly this, when I was much younger I made the mistake of calling out someone who I believed didn't have DID (not in FDC), I still believed they had the other mental illnesses they claimed and wouldn't be surprised if they had something else instead.
A couple of people figured out who it was and immediately started harassing them, their close friend let me know and I immediately deleted the post.
Even if people are sceptical, it's not their place to publicly question someone, it leads to bullying and you don't actually know what that person has. Just because you don't think they have one thing they still might, or they could have something else that is commonly confused with it (e.g. Autism and BPD are commonly misdiagnosed for the other because they share quite a few traits).
I very much hope that person is doing okay now and regret making that post, you don't help anything by calling people out, only harm.
Autism doesn't ruin people's lives. People ruin people's lives
This comment is 🏆Gold 🏆
The only cringe thing on that subreddit are the people who think they know more about a person they never met based on a social media post 🤦
My friend who has been physically disabled since she was born, was on there, and I was attacked for defending her 💀
It seems like if you aren’t suffering 24/7 and aren’t totally socially outcasted then you’re faking it. And don’t you dare enjoy yourself or find peace in your existence
Like most of the people who whine about 'snowflakes' and such, these people cannot tolerate anything that offends their sensibilities and/or that grabs the spotlight away from *them.*
But if you're making too much of a deal about suffering or talk about it too much you're also faking for attention, exaggerating or being a snowflake. You can't win with these people
We should make an alter ego subreddit where its called "real bullying cringe" and all it is is a bot reposting this subs content. And maybe allow manual submissions of comments.
Honestly before I got diagnosed I used to feel like another species or an alien. When I got my diagnosis it felt like I was given information on my home planet
Survive doesn't meant thrive.
Truth
Exactly!
Lived experience is not allowed because it's "anecdotal evidence" but they don't need any evidence at all to accuse someone of faking their disorder 🤔
Edit: actually, they do need to post "evidence", or else the post is supposed to be removed. Sometimes the "evidence" is four words long, sometimes it's "I have and we don't do this" (despite the rules that allegedly don't allow for personal experience) with an optional "real people with are unhappy and want to die", and sometimes the post is someone who says they have and also happen to fit some of the stereotypes and the R*dditor jumps to the conclusion that they self-diagnosed solely based on these stereotypes. A non-negligible fraction of the posts I have seen had bad enough "evidence" that some people pointed it out (especially the last type), but were apparently not removed.
I posted a gofundme for my daughter once. I was accused of faking being poor because the pic of my daughter was taken with a big tv in the background. It was Christmas dinner at a relatives house, not even my tv. 🤦♀️ i wanted to take her to Disney (before i knew disney went bad) and instead i shut it down at just $150 and took her to a local concert. I just wanted to give her at least one trip or experience before she grew up.. she never got a vacation or even a day trip due to me being sick and in poverty. Im so glad i took her to the concert, but it was really crappy to accuse us of scamming over a tv in the background
@@AliciaGuitar I'm so sorry about that. I take it you're an American? The situation seems so terrible over there, it's insane how often I see people who can't afford something set up a gofundme, patreon or something similar and ask money from others when it's the system that should be taking care of you so you wouldn't have to do that. Not to mention that if I have spare money, I'd rather try to help someone in good faith and willingly get scammed than refuse to help someone who actually needs it. I hope it's gotten better for you and your daughter, or that it will soon.
my flavor of autism is my only hobby is consuming my comfort shows and then pretending to be my favorite character /silly
valid af /gen
valid!! ❤😊
Thank you so much for including me in this, funniest part of that subreddit is that they say if there’s content with your face and you message the mods they will take it down but when requested my 4 videos be removed (all posted by the same person btw, totally not bullying tho) I ended up banned naturally 😂 they can really dish it but definitely can’t take it down
This actually terrifies me. I don't want to end up there. It's not only bullying, it's doxxing. There are people out there who believe autism doesn't exist and it just makes me want to hide.
Same here, i feel such a need lately to find ”my people” wherever i can. Been missunderstood and bullied my entire life and last year i got diagnosed. This however makes me think it might be better to keep to myself, terrifying.
As if it wasn’t already terrifying to engage socially…… what the hell are you even supposed to do anymore? Aaaarghhh 😩😣😭
I know that we’re very prone to anxiety around here, so I’m not gonna say just don’t worry. Instead I’m going to point out that not talking to people let’s these jerks win.
They want you feeling ashamed and isolated. They want you to stop talking to other people and finding a home.
Don’t let them.
Carve your own space. Block whoever needs to be blocked. Band together. Create community.
I’ve watched anime go from something I got physically assaulted for watching in the 90s to being as popular as it is in my lifetime. All because my fellow anime geeks and I ignored everyone who said it was childish, or mocked us for it.
We are many. They are few but loud. Time is on our side, fellow neuro-seasonings!
I don't ever take fake claimers seriously. They rarely research the disorder they're fake claiming, they never take into account different experiences, and they never actually prove their claims, they make a hypothesis and work backwards... Like conspiracy theorists. They might get ONE right out of a million. But then they fail to keep in mind the fact that fictitious disorder exists and that person probably still needs help.
Even if someone was faking it, wouldn't that be significant concern for the person's mental wellbeing? Not just something to bully them over.
@@hera9668not for them. because all they're really looking for are people to put down.
Literally how I felt about the tiktok DID fakeclaiming ‘community’. Like first of all who cares. Second, if a kid is faking a DID system for attention, there is another need that’s not being met that a stranger on tiktok cannot fully understand or handle. It reminds me a lot of the hate toward xenogenders, saying that it makes the trans community look ridiculous, when the only people who actually point to xenogenders as an example of all trans people are the transphobes who will hate us no matter what
@@mossypop Right?! And most of the time they have a conclusion and build evidence from there, and usually that's super shaky. I had to look up xenogenders because I'm getting a little old, but yeah I see your point.
Now, I will say if someone is spreading misinformation, or making fun of a disorder; and there's evidence that someone might be faking. I think it's fair to investigate, talk to them privately, and when all else fails, call them out. But, like self-diagnosis, that takes a LOT of time, effort, and research.
I've been accused of faking my Parkinson's, muscular dystrophy and seizures. My dad was accused of faking his muscular dystrophy and his need for canes and walkers. For some INSANE reason a lot of people seem to think unless they can see your leg missing or atrophied then you must be faking.
I got posted there once, probably one of my greatest achievements
My diagnosed friend (known him my whole childhood and teen years) his special interest was video games and now he’s in college for video game development and has support in school. HOW someone could say video games can’t be a special interest is beyond me..
Hey same! Special interests come and go, but video games has been one of mine from the very beginning. I too went to college for it, and for better or worse it's now my career. Wishing your friend well on his journey!
My husband told me that my compulsive urge to read the TV tropes page of shows I like, the IMDb trivia and to know what actors from media I like are in other media I like borders on special interest because of how consistently I do it. I enjoy video games, but they aren't a special interest for me. Anything that isn't special interest level is a hyperfixation for me because it may be short term, but it's the same intensity. I can recognize some of the anime dub voice actors I like so well that my husband has to beg me not to tell him who's voicing a character. One Piece has been one of my most recent hyperfixations that is bordering on special interest. I also have ADHD. A lot of my hyperfixations play out by becoming part of other special interests such as writing and take the form of fanfiction. Others play out in me writing intense speculative theories which is definitely part of my media trivia special interest.
Me but with judaism and historical fashion lol
It's not a special interest because it's not special, just an interest. Only trains are special, and therefore only trains are special interests. If you don't know the anatomy of Thomas the Tank Engine then you're clearly faking
@@spongecakes1986it is wild that some people really believe this though. that special interests can only be obscure or things considered odd/nontypical when that just isn't true in any way 💀 the main defining factor of a special interest is really just that the fixation on it is considered intense or abnormal
People complain when autistic people fit into stereotypes (calling us fakers or self diagnosed) but then only deem those of us who fit into steryotypes as autistic
God I cannot imagine taking my autism so seriously that I can't even allow myself to laugh at literal jokes. Like sure, my autism has screwed me over in many ways throughout my life, but I don't sit around complaining about how miserable I am on Reddit while DEMANDING all other autistic people be miserable with me or else they're not actually autistic. That would not only be a huge waste of time, but also incredibly pointless and stupid.
16:52 there is such a underlying hatred in this subreddit that is so concerning, like you don't hate *fake autistics* you hate autism. You hate seeing autisic joy and success. This sub is just gross
I strongly relate to B. I'm also a Black woman & was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, and Social phobia in my mid 20s... I asked my psychiatrist (who is white) if she could refer me for autism testing and she said "I strongly doubt you're autistic... I have autistic people in my family and you don't seem anything like that"... I cried after that appointment. Before my other diagnoses (and before it was widely talked about on social media), I felt like the autism diagnosis fit me best. I even got high ratings on every online test that I took... it's a shame that in 2024, medical professionals still can't put their biases aside and minorities are still get subpar medical advice/treatment. She even went as far as saying, "it's not like you can get anything from an autism diagnosis... there isn't much support for adults". I had to explain to her that I'm not looking to gain anything other than an explanation.
I wish you had a better time, sending hugs stranger.
the explanation is a big thing. just because other people don't get that doesn't mean we don't
What she said sounds very unprofessional, I'm sorry 😞.
10 years ago, at the age of 50, I asked my then-psychiatrist if I might be autistic. He immediately and contemptuously dismissed me, saying "there's no way you could be autistic, because you can make eye contact and carry on a conversation". The fact that I "can" do something doesn't mean it doesn't take every single ounce of strength I can draw from my inner self just to do it! (and have been doing my entire life).
Now, here I am 10 years later at the age of 60, and after 6 sessions and lots of testing with a trained psychologist, as of 4 months ago I am a very late-diagnosed autistic!
I recently included some personal wording (literally "for me") as part of an answer an OP's question and it got deleted for trauma dumping 🤦
Nooo - that's ridiculous 😩
Lol it's so funny because they banned me for "trauma-dumping" when I literally just casually mentioned I was diagnosed professionally with autism at age 5, yet when someone writes paragraphs about how autism ruined their life under a post there of someone "faking" it's not banned for ACTUALLY trauma-dumping, because it fits the sub's agenda.
Ah yes, trauma dumping is when you say literally anything about yourself.
Lol. That sounds like something a narcissist would do to try and shut you up with therapy-speak.
Edit: I'm not actually calling this person a narcissist, I should've worded it differently, sorry.
@@whitestarlinegoodnightFr, any grant of information you give it's trauma dumping in their minds. They don't care about us, they just want to be bullies.
That is one if the stupidest things I've read in a while
I didn't get diagnosed until my 30's, but everyone knew there was something "off." I didn't go to school till 5th grade, because I found it physically impossible to sit still. I remember all the sensory aversions, lack of hand-eye coordination, the times where I HAD to scream. By middle school I'd figured ways to hide it, but I had a complete breakdown every few years, like clockwork. Even into my 20's. I suppose most people would say I'm faking it, but my varied psychological diagnoses would argue otherwise.
Hypothetically: let's say someone IS faking and it can be objectively proven that theyre faking.
That still does not give you free reign to bully them!
If they feel the need to pretend to be mentally disabled or disordered then there is something else going on that they would need THERAPY for! They would need HELP and SUPPORT, not SCORN!
*edit: formatting
"...stereotype of autism..."
Shows a model train.
😂😂😂 ❤
"Self-diagnose herself" girl was just doing a check-in from the Department of Redundancy Department.
28:35 It 100% is. There is no way around it. It’s just classic sexism
Psychology is also one of my special interests! I love looking at people and imagining what it would be like in their mind. Talking to them in my head, asking questions that wouldn't make sense to them. But they make sense to me. Questions like "What does your world look like?" "How is the way you feel stuff different from how I feel stuff?" "What do you see when you look at me? Is it like what I see when I look at you?" I wanna be a psychologist when I'm older. I've always loved psychology.
I find it funny how they think a tv show cant be a special interest.
I think their mind would be blown if i told them my special interest is a fighting game
I have sorta mini special interests about specific characters within the games I like lmfao, they’d get a fucking aneurysm if they saw me (I only call it ‘mini’ since they usually don’t last longer than a month or so, or they’re like kinda on and off, theyre still as intense as regular special interests, while my main hyperfixation is said game)
Me pulling out my vocaloid special interest (it is such a vague category)
Oh sh¡t, same! Mine is team fortress 2
Have these people never met Pokémon autists? you can’t enter a neurodiverse space without tripping over people with tv and video game fixations
Initial D is my special interest, I think.
How funny that the subreddit is wholly dedicated to putting people on blast yet they refuse any dissenters and won't let the person defend themselves or anyone else to defend them
At what point might a target of that subreddit turn around and sue them for slander / libel? I sincerely hope someone has the opportunity to go after them, hard. It's almost like that subreddit group is deluded enough to believe that
the rules they've written for themselves are magically going to protect them from legal consequences. They are seriously overdue to be schooled -- and then held up as a cautionary tale for others who might be emboldened to follow their example. I can't think of a single situation in which imposing a double standard that only applies to some people and not others is appropriate, or legally defensible. Seems to me that double standards are nothing more than a tool for oppression.
@@BillieGote It might be useful to report the subreddit itself to Reddit
@@Ikajo that's worth trying. I'm not familiar enough with the platform to know if reports get taken seriously. Honestly I think that didn't occur to me because Facebook, for example, has earned a reputation for allowing things it shouldn't, and coming down hard on other things that don't make sense as to why -- FB clearly enforces double standards of their own. That makes it harder to trust social media in general.
@@IkajoReddit unfortunately doesn’t usually care unless it’s heinous stuff, took them years to get rid of r/jailbait and r/watchpeopledie. There’s a reason people categorize Reddit as a cesspit :1 also I already checked and you can’t really report a whole subreddit you’d have to email someone to do it, you can report posts on the sub but it goes to the mods of said subreddit and ofc they won’t care if they’re a mod for a pos sub
@@MA69Supra We will have to create a different subreddit calling out ableism like this
It is ridiculous that getting evaluated to get diagnosed costs so much money and is not covered by insurance.
and 800 dollars is pretty lucky. in a lot of places you're looking at upwards of 1500-2k.
The I didn’t get the autism that makes you smarter it makes me stupider hit me in the feels
The first tiktok made me uncomfortable. That's probably internalized ableism. Then you said she found herself on the subreddit and read all the comments and my heart dropped. I hate this. We just want to be ourselves and be left alone.
It's not exactly comfortable to hear about someone hating themselves. That's okay, you're kind.
Or... maybe she just made you uncomfortable. You don't feel "abelist" when neurotypicals make you uncomfortable, do you? Some PEOPLE just make us feel uncomfortable. ..and some of those people will be autistic.
If a black person makes me uncomfortable, it's not because I'm racist. It's because _that person_ makes me feel uncomfortable.
@@clicheguevara5282 omg sorry I’m replying to you again on another comment lmao but I kinda disagree with this take too. Their uncomfortablbilty (99% sure that’s not a real word lol) may be related to the traits the girl presents that are autistic related. So to use your black person example, a black person could make someone feel uncomfortable and yes that doesn’t inherently mean they are uncomfortable because that person is black, but if the person is uncomfortable because the black person was using AAVE or presenting in a way that was stereotypically “black” then you can say that the person’s discomfort was stemming from a place of racial bias (whether the person is black or not themself, because internalized racism is very real). (Also I’m not trying to speak for how this person is feeling or thinking or trying to condemn them, I just disagree with your argument)
I also felt uncomfortable with the way they presented in the first video but that is also okay. I don’t have to like every autistic person on the planet just because they have the same disorder as me. In the end we’re still all different people and I tend to get along better with people who are also not neurotypical but of course I also don’t like everyone.
@@clicheguevara5282this was kinda an unnecessary point
What is it with this assumption that we're all bad at personal hygiene, can only communicate in screams, and can't use a toilet?! FFS.
Not that there's anything wrong with those things. I just hate it when people assume that we all don't wash and wear diapers.
ETA: oh, and the special interest thing! The whole reason women/AFAB don't get diagnosed as efficiently is because our special interests are more "socially acceptable". My brother and I both like the video game Final Fantasy Tactics, but when I played it I also wrote down my characters' stats and which skills they needed to improve upon! (This should make me good at Dungeons & Dragons, but I've never played that before 😆)
Yeah I do struggle with it but I pass as "high functioning " often enough that ill defend the other nail and teeth. You don't shame people for success, you praise them!
When the hateful people get issues amd suddenly struggle and are very happy that I don't treat them i they treated me. Had a good record of people learning to just be proud and helpful
Re: socially acceptable Ness
I hope I'm not hijacking, but the idea reminded me of how limited I find mens fashion while women have so many fun options they can explore without fear of being ridiculed or standing out.
Idk if it's related in any way, it just made me think of that perception. But wouldn't it be nice if instead of applying labels to everything the normal response to peoples quirks first went through a filter of "are they hurting anyone"?
I find it actually quite sad that having unique interests is ever frowned upon. If everyone was the same, what a boring world this would be...
@@skachor Women's fashion isn't that great either. It is often more expensive than men's clothing, especially casual wear. Generally a tighter fit and certain types of clothing can be impossible to find because it isn't trendy. Like, I've searched for shorts that went to the knee without finding any. I'm wearing XL and it can still be too tight. Oh, sizes are never consistent in women's clothing. And don't get me started on bras.
@@skachorI was a child so it was probably different, but I got made fun of for being fashionable. Which sucks, because I loved my clothes but the bullies made me feel ugly in them and like being girly was bad. :/
@@IkajoThis. Spent months looking for pyjamas shorts that aren't around the same size as underwear. Plus a lot of clothes don't have pockets, or have fake pockets. 😢
reading Reddit always makes me feel misanthropic in the end
Genuinely had to look up what music therapy is and now I'm wondering if all the rhythm games I play are literally just me self-medicating
Subreddits like these are why I don't use reddit anymore. I have BPD as well as another differential diagnosis of BPD (the latter I don't want to disclose right now as it's commonly used as a "you can't be x because y and z", think autism times like a million) and I disclosed that on my old reddit account and assholes from r/fakedisordercringe started harassing me. I blocked out what they said because it was so bad, and I will never have a Reddit account again. I instantly unsubscribe from people when they post positive videos about r/fakedisordercringe. I wish Reddit would just ban that subreddit already, but they won't because apparently bigotedness only applies when it's racism or sexism.
I'm so sorry! It is just a horrible place. Hard to believe it's real.
@imautisticnowwhat There was even a change petition to ban it, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again, petitions don't work. Nobody cares about you if you're not their cookie-cutter idea of what a human being should be. The only people who care are those who have already been through it. No one else.
I used to have BPD, too (4 months ago, I got news from my therapist that after 9 years of therapy, I no longer meet the criteria) and I can't tell you how many people would tell me I had to be either autistic *or* have BPD despite no rule stating that those disorders are exclusive of each other.
I'm a medical coder for a mental health facility, which means that while I'm not a doctor, I do know a good deal more about diagnostic criteria than the average lay person and even most nurses. But everyone seems to have a degree from the Mark Zuckerberg School of Medicine, so my actual professional and personal knowledge is meaningless
@@twixieshores I also have autism and I literally had a therapist brigade me about how all of my diagnoses "butt heads" with each other and how I'm "over diagnosed and over medicated". I'm just the right amount of medicated now, at the time I was actually UNDER MEDICATED. Thank the heavens she isn't a psychiatrist, lmao. She also indirectly called the doctor that diagnosed me with autism a quack despite that being my FIRST diagnosis lmao. My mom fought hard and paid a lot of money for that diagnosis. I dropped her within the first fifteen minutes of our first appointment, she had literally spent that tiny amount of time solely telling me my doctors suck.
@julestloid to be a bit fair to the doctor, a lot of mental disorders do, in fact butt heads. That's why misdiagnosis is relatively common. However, it is completely unacceptable for her to berate you for that since you never diagnosed yourself (at least not formally)
A lot of therapists seem to hear of a symptom and immediately start trying to place a particular diagnosis (for example, one clinician might hear of extreme mood shifts and try to cram in a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, while another might try to make BPD fit).
I really could go on this tangent for another 7 paragraphs, but no one wants to read a TH-cam comment that long so I'll leave it here
I got the science autism, but got debuffed with dyscalculia and dyslexia, so my autism is limited to intense enjoyment from the field, but being unable to particioate :)
Same. Absolutely love science, but can't do complicated maths to save my life. I have to use an abacus, which others think is impressive, but it's the fastest way for me to calculate.
I went into statistics, economics, and art instead. Thankfully, there's a lot of crossover in science with those fields, so I still get to flex my science muscles regularly. 😊
Same but with dyscalculia and adhd (I suck at retaining the information I gather)
It'll be harder for you, but I really think you can participate. You can use screen readers for papers, and sure, maths is necessary but the maths requires for science is typically more theoretical and less numeric.
@@DrApocalyptus I think theoretical math would be harder, at least for me, because theres nothing concrete about it. If I can't count on my fingers I can't do it.
@@DrApocalyptus After my first try at college and getting no help and flunking so hard I couldnt even handle going to class near the end, I'm probably just gonna live vicariously thought nilered and miniminuteman on yt (ik thats archeology, but thats another special interest lol)
Cause even if the maths are more light and theoretical, I cant do basic math without really having to think about it (I barely passed 8th grade math as a senior in hs)
"We have to all be crying, all the time."
Hahah XD but also the best part is when people call me overly emotional and sensitive because I cry a lot. We can never win lol
When your brain fundamentally works differently than everyone else's that the entire world is designed to accommodate, YOU HECKING KNOW.
I’ve always despised the subreddit because how just..*gross* it was.
It’s really just ableism and insulting people they know nothing about.
Sometimes self-diagnosis is the only source someone has because either it’s not safe, they don’t have the money, and many other things.
Real. Like, I’m self diagnosed for now, but the reason i started to dig into it is literally because my psychologist asked me if i was autistic. Like, the person with the education (not qualified to diagnose people tho) literally told me that I might be nd. I wonder if i would qualify as a “faker” after that🤔
The word ableist is thrown around so much, it’s embarrassing. People just want to be oppressed.
@@acoustic_. “ People just want to be oppressed. “ no one wants to be oppressed. You’re just upset people are finally being called out on it.
@@majiwarusentosen Everybody wants to be oppressed. Ever heard of the Oppression Olympics? People want the pity points. They want to be sympathized with.
REMIDNER: dont engage with someone who willingly made their user a word to mock the neurodivergent
At this point the only stereotypes of autism that I am comfortable with are "they probably wear noise cancelling headphones" and "they are rad as hell"
Neurotypicals forbid neurodivergent people be joyous 😭😭 Like they hate when we frolic for even a second LMAO
RE: Depression- That actually fucking happens, tho! I'm formally dxed now, but before I was, people would ask me shit like "are you *really* depressed?" and "have you seen a therapist to be absolutely sure it's depression?" It's fucking wild as hell. People are so dumb.
I am diagnosed, and the amount of ppl who will say to your face "you don't look like it", is weird af...
I'm considered a pretty girl, so believe me that is almost exclusively the only thing I've ever heard from ppl I don't know well, as well as things in that similar vein. It's also a different kind of sting when people are attracted to you and you disclose your autism and they almost act like they're having an identity crisis as if they never considered they could ever be attracted to someone "like me" even if I'm pretty with good qualities. It really never feels great, at all. It leaves you feeling like there's something wrong with you, completely othered and distanced from allistic people.
@@AliceBunny05 I'm sorry to hear that.
The thing that I really don't like, is that ppl are not even open to learning or looking at things from another perspective. But they will have an opinion.
I know it’s common belief that autism and Downs syndrome are the same thing, but a lot of older people also think “autism” is an insult, and will avoid it in cases where it isn’t extremely obvious from behaviors they already know (my mom believes it for my ex boyfriend, but struggled to understand my friend from high school could be autistic, and refuses to consider autism for me or for herself, in spite of my entire universe being dinosaurs, science, and myths for my whole childhood (and still includes science, mythology, and fashion), and extremely typical stims, and she has always struggled intensely with a long list of common experiences women with undiagnosed autism have).
As someone with an official autism diagnosis, nobody is taking anything away from me by self-diagnosing. As someone with a legal disability, nobody is taking anything away from me by considering whether their struggles might be due to a disability. Every official diagnosis starts with a self-assessment, and this goes for psychological, neurological, and physical conditions alike. People need space to explore their identities, and many who suspect they are will likely go on to get an official diagnosis, time and cost permitting.
Absolutely! All this nonsense about fakers 'taking up space' is just that...nonsense that actually disabled/diagnosed people don't experience. The world doesn't work like that and I suspect even the concern trollsknow that, they just use these imaginary scenarios to justify silencing and removing any accomodations from actually disabled people because they somehow see accomodations as something 'special' they don't get to have.
True but I also don't like the people who self diagnose with unreliable sources. So if someone says they are self diagnosed I'm not going to fully believe them unless I have researched it and see it myself, or I know them as a friend and trust their self-diagnose ability. This is because there are real fakers out there. I don't call someone out online though as I do not know the person, so I think it's unfair to do so. Have a good day/night!!!!
I also give people the benefit of the doubt, so I'm not a jerk invalidating people for fun.
@@polecat6534 A person who is self-diagnosed is likely already on the road to a clinical diagnosis. What they are not doing is taking away accommodations or resources from others, because by definition they cannot legally access those. They are not gaining social clout by identifying with a marginalized group with no institutional power. They are not affecting your life in any way, and there is no reason for you to make this an issue and blow it out of proportion.
For every faker you think you catch, you are going to be shaming and invalidating a hundred undiagnosed people. This is where imposter syndrome comes from, which leads to people not seeking help for legitimate conditions. This is far more common than anyone faking it for attention. I'm saying this as someone who had a relative who committed actual insurance fraud by exaggerating a disability. So I know someone who did this, and yet I don't deputize myself to police other people's identities.
@@polecat6534it is a bit pessimistic though since there really are a lot of good online resources these days. maybe I'm the one who's too trusting because I certainly did my due diligence when I was heavily suspicious/privately self diagnosed and I just expect most others to do the same. the embrace autism website is a whole trove of interesting and helpful resources from actually autistic individuals with credentials.
Ugh 99% of that mess is just people shitting on people with DID
It’s their favorite thing to go istg. They will look at somebody with did/osdd, see they have dyed hair, and then go screaming up the hills about how this disorder is “sUpEr RaRe” and “this person is obviously doing this for attention!” ESPECIALLY if it’s a fem presenting person. In fact, almost the entire subreddit is filled with fem presenting people being told they’re faking everything. Wth?
Even with physical disabilities people fake claim I was in a wheelchair after surgery and could stand a little bit and even with double leg casts people would say "why are you in a wheelchair if you can walk" I don't know maybe because I was just CUT OPEN
These rules are unhinged!
I knowww!! It's like a parody!
Well what do you know, bullies need a safe space too !
They give out ALL the red flags. 😭
They're VERY telling.
They're basically saying "shut up, don't question me"
The person who made the "I was convinced I was a sociopath for two days" comment at 21:41 unlocked a memory for me. I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was 23, and what put me on the path to get diagnosed was that I couldn't handle being in a group-project-thing where we had to do a lot of these team-bonding exercises and answer a lot of weird personality questions about each other. Don't remember why, we just did. It was supposed to help us get jobs... somehow... I think? It was a long time ago, and I think it was an experimental thing they tried for a short time.
I hated it. I didn't understand half the assignments, and the ones I did understand, I quickly realized that I wasn't answering the questions like I was "supposed to".
One day, one of the group leaders just randomly spouts off "Did you know that in a group the size of ours, there's a good chance that one of you is a psychopath!" Guess who spent the next month or so worrying that she meant me. There was no reason why I should have thought that, and I'm sure she thought she was just sharing a random fact or something, but I already felt like I was different from the group and I got scared that there was something really wrong with me.
But this feeling of "why am I the only one who can't handle this?" led to me getting my diagnosis about two years later. Not thanks to this group or the leaders, but a wonderful woman at the employment agency who told me "Well, how about we figure out what's going on with you, then."
Sorry, this was random and long, but the memory just came back so strongly, I wanted to share it.
Awe man, that sucks ass. You’re not crazy or insane. A lot of people here can empathize. The employment agency lady sounded like an angel.
@@ScarryGargoyle Oh yeah, she is amazing. She did not have to do any of the things she did for me. She was literally there to guide me on how to apply for jobs, not accompany me on the first part of my new quest to figure out what was going on with me. I think she's probably retired now, but I hope she was able to help others the way she helped me.
This reminds me of how when I see video titles of “X ways you know someone is (condition/mental health thing that isn’t autistic or depressed here)” I get super freaked out. Because what if I am those things and I don’t realize I’m those things? And then I get too scared to watch the video because I’m incredibly good at seeing all sides of a situation, so I know I can justify in some tiny way one example in my life where maybe I had that one trait 25 years ago before I learned better.
Similar to the comment in your group project, I had a coworker tell me that her therapist told her that I was narcissistic because I tried to relate to her by talking about myself. We had quite a big age gap between us, and I thought I was being helpful in sharing my perspective when she would ask me questions. Now I’m so paranoid about being narcissistic and not paying attention to others enough and talking too much in conversations. That one comment has really messed me up, to where when I’m in physical or emotional pain I don’t ask for help because I’m too afraid of being selfish or making life about me. So, yeah, I get how your brain can latch onto a random comment and get carried away. It sounds like you got through it for the most part. Perhaps I know what I should talk to my therapist about next week 😅
@@ilikebeingsmart I'd say that therapist was out of line to say that about a person they never met.Then again, that may just have been the interpretation your coworker got out of it, I dunno... Still, rude to assume that about you, in my opinion.
I only found out last year that people don't generally like it when someone does that thing were I mention a similiar experience I have to try to show that I can relate to them. o_o Well, good thing I don't do that all the time... Oh, wait.
A stray comment can hit so hard, and even harder when it's something we're already kind of feeling on the inside, so it's like a confirmation from the outside. But I learned in therapy that it doesn't have to be true just because someone else said it.
I hear you on not wanting to be seen as selfish so we just sit in our situations. I've just started working on that myself, so I know it's a struggle. I had to weigh whether it's more selfish of me to ask for help, or to hope someone will notice that I need help. My therapist helped a lot by bouncing it back on me. Would I prefer someone to ask me for help with something or for them to expect me to just know they need it? And it's hard to ask for help, especially at the beginning, but it does get easier if you have people around who will help you.
I do wanna add something quickly here which is what sociopath and psychopath are ableist terms (often considered slurs) for people with ASPD and NPD.
I have an ostomy. I got sick of calling to complain my *prescribed ostomy pouches* were not shipped on a monthly basis, while all the other supplies were shipped. Then the company filling it sent a notice they’d be charging a $249 copay each month for supplies that I could buy on Amazon for $160 a month. So even physical disabilities needing medical devices, which would require multiple additional surgeries to not require the devices, *can and will be questioned on a regular basis* so questioning invisible or misunderstood disabilities isn’t shocking. Like people think I can’t have ADHD because “that’s not real” but they might individually be sympathetic because of my physical disability, while I get open and illegal discrimination from institutions. The same people will then tell me I can’t be in pain because I’m young. And then they say all kinds of extremely cruel things about someone who has a lisp, or a limp, or exhibits autistic behaviors they know are autistic (while often not realizing my flapping is typically autistic and responding very positively about it).