Gilmore Girls Get Therapized - How to Deal With a Bully
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.พ. 2024
- You wanted it! You got it! Gilmore Girls gets therapized! This video we take on bullys, why they do it and how to deal with it!
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The Chilton teen that activates my fight or flight mode the most is actually Tristan, *shudders*. His refusal to accept a no from Rory is just…ugh.
although most viewers would say that his abnoxious arrogance is kinda hot xD sadly...
YES. Tristan's harassment was just as bad as Paris's bullying in season 1, and as someone who had to put up with similar experiences, my negative reaction to Tristan is visceral.
Never understood the fascination with him
@@voyance4elleif Tristan was played by anyone other than Chad Michael Murray, almost everyone would get the ick from that character and see him for who he is.
But CMM has the charisma and is captivating - that is confusing when he's acting like such a terrible human.
@@cemyafranks2586 Anyone ever was into Tristan??? Ugh! Yikes. I’m not a Jess fan, but I can at least see the appeal, as a teen I may well have been, but Tristan, ugh!
It's worth noting that Lorelai took a similar approach to your mother. She invited Paris, Louis, and Madeline to a Bangles concert with her and Rory. Afterward, they started treating Rory better, for the most part.
I remember Paris even said “this is the most fun night of my life” or something. 😢 Part of Paris’s problem is that she’s lonely and without a lot of social skills.
That don't mean she can bully Rory. @@geeky_sasha6813
What's wrong with Lorelai doing that. I don't think Emily will invite Lorelai friends to do anything with her.
She would they was rich upper class people. The activity might of been a live tennis tournament or opera but hey she would of loved to cozy up to new snobbish people.@@lauriecarson6483
Paris is a pain in the first season, admittedly. But can we talk about how the Chilton version of bullying includes reciting a sonnet at people in a threatening manner? 🤣
Lol Paris was amazing
Paris' behavior is inexcusable, but I also really pity her as a character. In season 2, Rory invites her for a sleep over, and Paris is so excited because no one has ever had her overnight before. At heart, Paris is that super awkward kid that just wants to be accepted, and Rory seems to be the only person who is willing to do that. Madeline and Louise only hang out with her because they themselves are lacking in status and academic achievement.
I wasn't a fan of Paris during the early seasons of the show but she did grew into a better person in the later seasons
Apart from the throwing Rory out of her home into a 'dangerous area' because Paris became a dictator at the paper and Rory was voted in as an editor 😅
Me too. Her growth was amazing, but she was a dick at the start of
@@marlyd at least she apologized
Op pop ppplp]ppp pl pp😊loop😅pl ppll 5:22 o]@@marlyd
She may have improved a little, but I think the real reason people started liking her is she became comedy relief and it made her narcissism seem less harsh.
When I was seven, my nine year old brother was getting bullied at the bus stop.
One day we’re getting off the bus from school and our grandmother is waiting for us. She goes up to the kid that was picking on my brother and she points to a cop car in the distance and tells him that the officer is there for him (a lie) and that the next time he messes with her grandson that officer would be arresting him. Then she tells him that he doesn’t want to test her because she’s the granny from hell! 😂
As an adult, I wouldn’t endorse this kind of intimidation of a child but as a seven year old girl it was the greatest, funniest thing I’d ever seen.
Omg that's hilarious 😂❤
Did the boy stop bullying?
2:10 I love Alexis Bledel's acting there, I love Rory so much and feel so sad for how she doesn't know how to react, she feels so consumed with shame. Her identity is, as many of us gifted kids' are, built around the idea that she is a smart person and this grade threatening how smart she feels she is hurts her so badly. It's not a healthy sense of identity and ego and self but it's a common one.
People often say Rory was a bad friend and I'd love more videos on her friendships because I disagree and would love a professional take.
I feel that statement is exaggerated, I mean she wasn't perfect as a friend, but who is?.
With the way she treated Lane and Marty, there's some validity for criticism of her being a friend. I know I wouldn't want to be friends with her and count on her to be considerate.,
@@Nikki-oe7gr she didn't treat either badly imo. She's not perfect but she didn't treat either the way Paris treated her.
Exactly, Rory might not be the perfect friend but that’s growing up. I made so many mistakes with friends but you live and learn. Rory was not a perfect character but there is no perfect human, it would have been boring if she was perfect.
Rory was an incredibly supportive friend to Paris, and Paris really did not deserve it.
the only "bullying" i've ever experienced growing up wasn't from my classmates or schoolmates, per se. it came from my supposed "best friends", who made fun of me because i was catholic, and a "good girl" unwilling to "rebel". so, it's always interesting to hear people's experiences with bullying. it's not always just strangers who hate you for no reason.
@halloweenallyearround4889that happened to me (in adulthood), but instead was total indifference and avoidance and I did nothing to them. Good riddance, I don't have the time or energy for that kind of people in my life.
Same, my supposed best friends were the ones to subtly bullying me too. Whispering behind my back, etc.
Same, I suppose they had to build their self-esteem at the expense of someone, and we were the 'lucky' ones to be singled out like that
I am living for the Gilmore Girls content
I admire your mother's sensitivity and intelligence in inviting the bully to get ice cream and try to get to know him, and I'm glad it turned out well for you. As a therapist, would you advise a parent to take that kind of approach in a similar situation?
I was bullied third thru seventh grade. It shattered my identity and made me afraid of people, especially boys/men. I didn’t even know it had affected me until my thirties when I started reading self help books. Rory had the support of a good home life so she could stand up for herself. Other kids don’t have that and spend their lives just trying to be invisible so no one will hurt them anymore. I still don’t have support but I have knowledge. I now know that I don’t have to take it. I can remove toxic people from my life. I do wish I had a resource like this when I was young! Thanks for these videos. ❤
Probably not the best piece of advice of dealing with bullies, but I do have a couple stories:
I was in 1st grade (so 6 years old) and a trio of 3rd graders came up to me during recess where I was minding my own business, stole my baseball hat, and played keep away, just because I was smaller, younger, and they thought they could get a rise out of me. Moreover, none of the teachers that were supposed to be watching us were paying attention to what was going on, and didn't intervene to defuse the situation and return my hat.
So I defended myself by kicking their asses. All 3 of them.
When we were all dragged into the principal's office, they tried to pin the blame on me. However, I calmly (and with an eloquence and maturity beyond my years) explained the situation and how I was defending myself because there weren't any teachers around. The principal, amazed at how well-spoken I was for someone so young, didn't punish me for fighting. As for the three 3rd graders, I imagine the principal thought they had been punished enough by me, and they never bothered me again. The principal would periodically call me into his office just to chat, and he told my mother that he enjoyed talking to me because of how well-spoken I was. In retrospect, I suspect he was trying to sense if I had anger management issues, or if this was an isolated incident (which it was).
Years later, in middle school, there was an obnoxious kid who would go around taking french fries from people's trays at lunch and shove them in his mouth. One day, I finally had enough, grabbed his hand and pried the fries out of his hand by bending his fingers back. I underestimated my strength in that instance because when we both got detention, he showed up with a splint on his finger. I didn't argue with getting detention. I took responsibility for my part in the incident and accepted my punishment. But at least he learned a lesson too and stopped taking people's food.
I guess if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that one shouldn't be afraid to do what is necessary to defend oneself, but only as a last resort, and only if you're prepared to take responsibility for your part in what happens. Ideally, it shouldn't have to come to force to deal with a bully, but, speaking from experience, we often feel powerless when we feel like we cannot defend ourselves against a bully, which only makes us even more of a target for future bullying because the bully is confident there will be no consequences for their actions.
When I was in middle school, I had some classic bullies who made fun of my nose. My mom suggested that I beat them to the punch. So I memorized all of the insults from Steve Martin's movie, "Roxanne". I got them laughing and they realized that their insults couldn't hurt me anymore, so it turned out well. I ended up using self-deprecating humor for most of my social situations after that. The only downside is that sometimes I start believing my own jokes a little too much so it takes balance.
I'd really like to see an episode about Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens.
Yes please, so much unspoken love and religious trauma
Sometimes kindness works, I'm right with you, Jonno. In seventh grade one of my bullies dropped his whole stack of books, folders, and pencils in passing period. I helped him pick it up. Not a word was exchanged, but he and his brother never teased me again.
This reminds me of a bully I knew at camp. (I was 16, I think.) He kept harassing me about my crippling fear of dogs. Then one day, I saw that he was afraid to walk down a hallway... because he saw a cockroach on the floor there. I went and got a plastic cup and put it over the bug, took him by the arm, and walked him past it, down the hallway. Not a word. Then I went on with my day. He never said a word to me again. (Or about me, as far as I know.)
I completely and totally ignored them. They got no reaction from me. I didn’t get angry, sad, or any other kind of emotion you can think of. It’s that reaction bullies look for and when they don’t get it they get board.
Same. Never got bullied because I ignored any attempts, I just did my own thing. Didn't let myself get walked all over though, on occasion I made it clear what my boundaries were
That didn't work in the schools I went to
i hate thinking of little baby you being bullied!! 😢but how your mom handled it is amazing.
I reallyy appreciate you looking through gg because there’s a lot of mental/emotional abuse that never gets talked about.
(Even lampshading too, in one of episodes Lorelie has a line saying “im about to meet the cast of gaslight “ as a joke and i think its one of the only times such a thing gets addressed in s1)
I had bullies, however confronting them or getting parental help never worked. Guidance counselors only told me to keep my head down and ignore them. Didn't work either. So it's nice to get so professional advice on this.
At middle school i was still very shy and didn't talk much. One guy especially was having fun by pushing everybody in the student row. When my turn came, i pushed him back so hard on the floor for everyone he pushed in the class that he didn't do or say anything back. It was sideration.
I never did that before. My parents are the kind of people that encourages that behavior but that's not who i am.
In high school i became the bulied of the class in less than 10 days. Even some friends from previous year turned their back on me. I think i got lucky after some month, one or two guys invited me to eat at their table genuinly but still with a mocking smile. I accepted it anyway and in few minutes they completely changed their mind on me by discovering my passions and skills.
I became friend with none of them but from this point i was accepted and it was more bearable
10:47 Could you therapize Lorelai's reaction to Rory being bullied? She's not the slightest bit empathetic, makes jokes about Rory being hurt, doesn't even apologize and invalidated her daughter's feelings. But hardly anyone talks about how traumatic this must have been for Rory.
I also think an analysis of all the scenes where Rory was a "parentified child" would be interesting to see and make people who criticize Rory for every trivial thing understand her trauma
Once she started being less an asshole Paris became my favorite character. 😅🤷♀️.
I'm so happy you're talking about Gilmore Girls
I always enjoyed how Madeleine and Louise aren't just Paris' "pets," they're consistently styled, respectively, as a puppy and a kitten.
I want to see you do videos on the evolution of Rory and Paris's relationship throughout the series, because though Paris has major issues and even though I didn't like her in the beginning, I ended up liking her more than Rory by the end of the series. Also, I have what is a controversial request considering Gilmore Girls fandom adores Luke, I'd like you to assess Luke's toxicity, whether his verbal and physical abuse of people in general, and his verbal abuse and gaslighting of Lorelai when things aren't going his way. Example, at some point, she gives him advice about a situation, and he lashes out at her, throwing in her face that she was a pregnant teen. There are many times in the series when he gets mean with her, but it's sold to the audience as a grumpy-sunshine trope. There are plenty of shows and movies that have healthy grumpy-sunshine pairings, but Luke and Lorelai is not one of them.
I listened to Scott Pattersons podcast and uff...his opinions are all of Lukes worst sides on steroids (if you ask me). I always loved Luke - though he clearly was very flawed and the writing of the show is "of its time" but that podcast made me view him quite differently. As an actress I sometimes wonder how much on long running shows eventually the actors kind of start to "take over" certain aspects of characters and vice versa
I had bullies but never dealt with them, kept being bullied until the end of school (they didn't go to the same college). Was always afraid became my parents didn't know how to help me. My mother was always popular and my father's bullies were the violent kind. Suffered a lot, thought it was all my fault and was afraid to change classes or school because I thought everywhere would be the same, where I was at least I knew the people and had a few friends...
I used to read a lot and watch lots of movies and TV shows as a kid. I think they were my means of escaping into other worlds from the bullying I endured in school. One of my favourite TV shows was Higher Ground (2000) with Loe Lando and AJ Cook that only ran for one season but to me, it was a perfect season. It dared to talk about the deepest, most painful problems and trauma that children can face and also gave hope that we don't have to be defined by our trauma. I would love it, if you did such in-depth analyses on that show as well.
I LOVE that you added Bowling For Soup's song! That was my first ever pop punk band I found on my own.
😊 I was a huge fan of their The Great Burrito Extortion Case & A Hangover You Don't Deserve albums when I was in high school. Listened to it so much with my brother :) We both loved it and made my dad listen to it in car rides to his home every weekend.
Yes! When that song started playing I thought “Jonno and I have simular tastes with everything!”
@@geeky_sasha6813 delicious taste 😆
The evolution of Paris over the series is one of my absolute favorite aspects of the show. She is one of my favorite characters.
When I went to school I had a bully as well. One day I decided to try and win him over and I started being really sweet to him, f.ex I would always offer him gum. It worked, we were not friends, but he stopped bullying me😊
Bullying is such a big theme for me. I've been badly bullied throughout most of my school years. It never really stopped, I just graduated to highschool and the bullies changed. Only the last few years in my own class it was okay. I was still pretty much the "odd one out" (not only because dealing with severe anorexia, depression, panic attacks). And since my parents (after divorce when I was 15, my mum) have always been on the low income end and my sister and me still being in the high segment schoolwise (where most kids tend to be rather wealthy. I'm sure you know what I meen. NOT equal chances in the educational system) we simply could often not afford to join in. And, most of all, these last years I was the only one my age I knew to take the bus home (all my peers had their own cars by then or still in graduated driving). And it's ashaming, but in the bus (and sometimes the cafeteria or just the schoolyard since they knew me) I was again being bullied and mocked, by sevengraders even. Then at home by my sister.
Also, keeping to tease you until you can't take it any longer and then mock you for crying. Classic. Sadly enough my father did the same when I was little. In fact he still does it, only thing I've learned to take it all by now. Same with bullies. I never really learned how to deal with them. I just took it all, and still do for familiy members who love to pick on me.
Still thank you for covering this topic. And not for the fist time as I know. And rightfully so. It's so important and there are so many "easy targets" like you and me out there who can't but benefit from being heard and seen over and over again. Also there's so much diversity (within often symilar mechanics) in bullies and victims alike that every case is somewhat different. At least you can give the good advice that I can't.
I kinda had a Paris in high school but she never said anything, just her actions showed me her intentions. First asking me for my grades, then a professor called me to scold me because me and my friend allegedly told the principal she(the professor)was lazy. I kept calm and told her it wasn't me and that I could prove it, days after the incident she came to apologize. Years later I found out that she entered the same university as I did, and everytime I saw hear I feel my stomach getting hard, like it I was swallow a stone. I hate to give her that much power. I share my experience because I think there's silent bullying, when you don't feel comfortable around somebody because you know that person wants bad things for you.
Thanks so much for your analysis videos. It can be hard to know how to deal with bullying, so your advice is always welcome.
I've seen your youtube comments on several of my favorite channels by now. They are always super insightful too - just wanted to convey this
Try watching How To Get Away With Murder After Gilmore Girls....it hits soooooo different.... I mean just because Liza does an amazing job in both her roles, but also cause one could be seen as whatever really happened to...
One of my favourite moments is when they go to the Bangles concert and Rory and Paris actually have fun together and realize they have some things in common
I was bullied a lot when I was younger. I also have always been heavier, so weight was a common issue.
I had 3-4 bullies that were the ones I remember, over the years, but the one that effected me the most at the time was 4th grade. This girl said the meanest most spiteful comments about me and none of them were true, or she acted like I was a pig when I was eating lunch (cause I have been heavy-set most of my life). I was already very sensitive and I couldn't barely handle family teasing me (like normal family/sibling stuff), so eventually I came home crying to my grandmother saying, "This is so mean, why is she doing this?" My grandmother said basically we don't know what her home life is like and so there if its bad there she might just be trying to feel powerful at school. Still, she encouraged me to find an instance to put scripture to use and kill with kindness (Proverbs 25:21,22 is the scripture we read together).
So I don't remember how long after that conversation, the teacher announced that the girl who had been bullying me had broken her leg and, since we had 2 or 3 teacher's classrooms we went between, the teacher asked if someone wouldn't mind helping her carry her books since she wasn't going to be able to while using crutches.
Absolutely no one raised their hand to help this girl, so I did. The teacher asked me if I was sure, and I agreed again. The girl was just so confused and said "Why did you agree to help me?" I said "No one else did anything and because you needed help." Then she apologized for being mean, asked if we could be friends and it was like a 180 that entire time we enjoyed each others company... until she didn't need me anymore.
The very first day she didn't need the crutches anymore, she made a snarky comment about my weight again and I was devastated at first- I walked away and cried hard when I got home. I was mroe upset than when she first started picking on me because this time she *knew* what kind of person I was. After calming down and talking to my grandma again, she helped me remember I didn't do anything wrong. And if she was really going to just go right back and act like nothing happened we now know what she is really like.
So she never stopped picking on me, but anything she said after that point was invalidated by her own actions and I wasn't so distraught by it anymore. After 4th grade that elementary school closed down and I never saw her again after that and being zoned to the newly built school.
I have a special memory of being bullied and an adult stepping in.
I was a bus rider and one afternoon on the ride home, I was staring out the window and minding my business. Suddenly I feel the seat next to me sink and look over to see this girl (I’ll call her A) and her friend (B).
A sat next to me and B was across the isle on the other seat. They were giggling when A asked,
“So Christa, my friend and I have a question”.
I was really confused because I don’t talk to these girls and I replied, “what”.
They giggled more then said, “We were wondering why you’re so ugly”. They busted out laughing and before I could get mad, when I was still processing what was going on.. the bus slammed into a stop. Our bus driver sternly called A to the front of the bus and called her out. Saying, “A, come up here now! Now I have never witnessed bullying like what you have just done BUT I will not tolerate it on my bus. You are a very mean and cruel little girl for treating someone that way…” he went on and talked about how you can’t judge a book by its cover and some other things. What’s crazy is how cliche it was… I mean this girl lived in the richest neighborhood with GIGANTIC mansions. I’m some poor fat fuck who’s an easy target, like get a load of that Hollywood bs 😂 but boy, I’ll never forget what my bus driver did for me that day.
Omg I’m so early and I love this channel sm AND Gilmore girls ur content means the world to me!!!!!
Paris's relationship with Rory has always been weird because on the one hand they started off as bullies as you show in this video, but they also eventually became friends and also Paris is always been uptight like a lot of the things we see in the first few seasons do get carried over to her college years where She's just not very well liked and I like that her and Rory go through a lot where you can tell there is more going on under the surface like in these first two episodes when you look back at them after watching the entire show and you go back to the first season you can see things like how Paris was somewhat jealous of Rory and the connection she had with her mum and how close they were you can also see how Threatened she felt, by how much was and how decent she was, Paris didn't have a lot going on so she always felt like she needed to be the best and everything and she was very high strong and high maintenance which definitely carries out throughout the rest of the show And she's very different kind of character, there's also a huge difference between when girls bully and when boys bully, I feel like we never really see what it's like being bullied by boys in the show other than when Tristan bullies her, but we know that's because he likes her so it's a little bit different, but I found your perspective interesting and even though bullying between girls and boys is different, the fact that you had someone in your life who was like Paris still goes to show that there are similarities there in the way people bully others. I'd love to see you react to their gradual friendship moving on past bullying how a bully can become a friend since that's pretty rare and I'd be interested to see your take on it.
i've never seen this show but i've thought about it so i'm grateful you made this video. you did a great job of making this helpful even for folks who haven't seen it.but also in showing me more about this show so hopefully i can decide if i want to see it.
My former Mother-in-law liked to bully me. I responded by just not being in the same room with her when ever I could. I still tried to do nice things for her like for her birthday and mother's day. When ever she would have a fight with her daughters, she would come and talk to me and be nice to me. However, everything changed when I divorced her son. Then it was that I didn't like her was the reason I wanted a divorce. It wasn't all the mental and emotional abuse that her son did to me and our kids. When she died, most of my kids didn't go to the funeral. The only ones that went were the ones that were still under 18 and didn't have much of a choice. We won't talk about my ex's sisters and how they were copies of their mom.
I appreciate what you said at the end: some bullies are too dangerous to just stand up to them. If George McFly would punch Biff Tannen in real life, Biff would kick his butt and makes his life a living hell. Unfortunately, Hollywood often gets it wrong.
I am in love with the fact that one gilmore girls video got to more
That's great advice! I love the whole Paris/Rory relationship dynamic :D
When I was growing up there was a girl who was the queen bee type. She had her little gang, they all did what she wanted, which was usually making my life miserable. She'd spill paint on my clothes or on my art projects, hit me, break things and blame me. Then there were moments where she'd pretend to be nice to me but I could tell it was an act, always in front of adults who didn't know either of us very well that she thought she could manipulate. I ignored her, I didn't let her bait me into fights and I didn't let her use her act to get close enough to further ruin my life. Sometimes I got in trouble for being dismissive of her nice act but I didn't care, it was self defense. The more I kept her on the outside, the less personal stuff she knew about me, the safer I was, socially, emotionally, and physically. Eventually we were in different programs and didn't see much of each other, but the last time we did, she tried to shove me into a wall and clotheslined my Mom. I really don't think she has an ounce of decency in her, rotten to the core that one.
I had this classmate in middle-school who used to bully me for basically similar reasons: yay, I can make someone cry. And she was really smart about it too, mostly doing it when people weren't around. I mean you wouldn't BELIEVE how nice and polite she was to my mother's face, so obviously my mom thought that I just couldn't take a joke. Oh and I did the whole, trying to be friendlier and consider that her family life was so much worse than mine (mostly financially, and that's saying a lot as we were lower middle-class At MOST). And it backfired in the most spectacular way, as her bullying got even worse.
In the end, I can't really remember if she stopped, or if middle school ended, and we attended different high schools. Suffice to say, that I still relish the one moment I got her into serious trouble with n o negative consequences to me. She was playing with a lighter and decided to scare me by pushing the hot metal part into my neck one day at school. As I was fed up with everything by that time, I decided to scream my head off right then and there... in the middle of class. It didn't technically hurt or anything, and I was mostly just surprised but it got her to stop, and a bad grade to boot. Yeah, we weren't supposed to bring lighters at school.
As much as I still relish the event, I also admit that I got a boy to stop randomly taking my stuff before class by literally grabbing his hand and giving him puppy-dog eyes. For some reason that scared him shitless. :P
I love these thank you for doing this show
Well, I ended up with my "Bully" in a 5+ years toxic relationship and I just came out of it in the moment he said, he wanted a child so he didn't had to go to the armee. many years later I just noticed he was my Paris, in this case and I'm still working on me , my feelsings and my depression I got after 20 years. crossed fingers people like him are rare in the world and if you have a Bully around you, you have friends to help and safe your soul. :)
that was really informative. please do more gilmore girls!
Yay! I love that he’s gonna work his way though the whole series!
I love your videos, I could watch them for hours, make a 2 hour video and I’ll be more than happy to watch it!
I loved your story about how your mom resolved the issue between you and the other kid. It's so incredible and so so smart! ❤
I literally "WAHOO!"ed when i saw this upload!😄 (had a crappy morning; this made me feel infinitely better😊😊😊)
I am so happy You doing These reactions I always wished you would do gilmore girls and now it is Happening thank you and Keep going there are so many moments and relationships I find interessting
Really appreciate seeing these, don't forget to break it up some. The dramedy of the series represents so many social injustices and really offers the viewer a birdseye's view humanity
I love the point as Rory sticks up for herself and even Paris. Bullies are real tough sometimes I was able to fight back, but many times overwhelmed. I am glad you gave the heads up that not all bullies are the same.
What do you mean by break it up some?
OMGerd I politely request a playlist dedicated to your Gilmore Girls examinations. I promise I'll come in and thumbs up every single one
Woooow the whole show? You're quite ambitious Jono! 😁
I have had a lot of bullies, too, particularly in my school time. And I can absolutely back your advice.
I made it boring for part of them bynot reacting and looking at them appropriately in a "you sure are acting weird"-manner. When a big part of my class addressed me rudely with my last name although they knew I didn't like it, I ignored them like they were air until they used my first name. It was really me doing a "pavlov's dog" training on them.
It worked particularly well cause I was smart and good in some subjects so when we had self-study lessons due to a teacher being on sudden sick leave and we all did our homework, they saw me help my small group of friends (us odd balls whom I had gathered together) and they wanted help, too and I told them I'm not helping ppl too incapable of calling me properly by my name. That sorted it out.
I would later learn they had been bullying me cause it was the school outside the small city where the kids of the neighbouring towns gathered and spoke in the local dialect. I came from the city center and spoke "proper official German". That was it. They thought I was a snob cause I couldn't speak dialect 🤦♀️ what an incredibly petty thing to ruin a person's psychological health over.
Basically when we got older and they learned to respect that I had plenty of spine, they got mature enough to acknowledge that they had caused that rift and upheld it for very unreflected reasons. Same with my friends. Yet, none of my friends had my resilience and one of them HAD actually left school due to the bullying (that was the day I shouted at the whole class for them being irresponsible jerks). But at least the other girls felt sufficiently sheltered and had a place to come heal and come seeek health when someone was out of line.
One of those girls is my best friend to this day. We evacuated her from her abusive household & sheltered her during summer holidays when the kids of the orphanage who couldn't go home (turns out the majority can) were gathered in a very chaotic group. She came to be with us and is like a sister to me, to this day.
I'm needing that spineof mine to this day with my neurodivergence and as a woman in society. But I'm glad to have at least been able to learn methods to stand up to bullies and it carries me to this day.
Yaaaaaasssss another GG Episode 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Yay!!! You make my day :D
I was bullied and it varied what worked. Sometimes it was kindness because then that made them see you as a person, but you have to be careful with that. There was also a time when they tried out mean nicknames and I just accepted those names as nicknames and responded to them like my regular name. It confused them and the names died out. When I got to high school, what worked there was joining Drama class and wearing truly embarrassing costumes (like a green toga) etc in front of the whole school and not caring. I think those bullies saw that I just did NOT care and gave up.
I never tried intimidation because I never had any ability to be intimidating but that works for some people. It also can get the bully to go get their friends and make things worse.
I loved the way Paris changes throughout the show, her development was beautiful and I love they way she and Rory work together when they have to, which eventually turns into a lifelong friendship, but I'm not gonna lie, I despise her in the beginning of the series for the way she treats Rory. You can see the hurt in her eyes when Paris tells her "You're going down" and even before that, she was the worst🥺🥺💙
I love the way Rory deals with her too🤗🤗💙💕😂
She's very mature to me, by the way
i've been struggling with bullies for the past couple years.. it feels like it's my fault or because of my disability.. it's so difficult to deal with.. and so hurtful
Starting with a Bowling for Soup song! This is going to be a great video !
I was bullied in my teen years 11-14 and my parents went to the teacher. It made everything ten Times worse. 😢 i tried standing up at first but it was not one but a couple of Kids and i just moved there and was the New kid. It was never resolved and my strategy was hide and go home fast and yes a lot of Times skip school. I still did the schoolwork but alone and not in a classroom. 😅😊 i wished homeschooling would have been possible but it is not allowed in my country. After 4 years i toll my parents i go to boarding school and had already picked out some and even asked for Informationen from the schools which they send. I toll them this or no school thats their Option. They choose: we wanted to talk to you anyway. We are gonna move because your dad got promoted and we will move in summer. It was a 500km move, far away from the bullies. 😊❤
I think it is worth looking into Lorelai's jilting of Max, specifically the wedding, but both times, in tandem.
She does it TWICE??!!
@MendedLight YES! And the second time, she and Rory get into a big fight about it.
I would love to get your take on Lorelai & Rory's codependent relationship and how that effects/is effected by Rory growing up and moving out.
I was bullied from the first to the eleventh grade. Then I went on a student exchange program for three months. There I was the exotic stranger who everybody wanted to befriend. I realized that there are people who actually like me. The day I returned home, my mother had invited some classmates for a surprise welcome party. Among the guests were four girls who I liked a lot. They all became my friends that day. Some people still thought I was weird but I was never bullied again.
Would love to see Rory and her various boyfriends over the years therapized!
Great video! Always love to hear your insight!
As someone who was bullied in high school and is still dealing with the emotional consequences at 26, I would love to hear you talk about how to cope with past bullying. How do you get over the anger for those years of suffering (or am I the only one who still gets mad thinking about it?)? How do you deal with anxiety responses when meeting those people again? Things like that
Something my therapist told me that really helped was to reframe the bullying as a backwards compliment, cos those girls were insecure and jealous of my intelligence and disinclination towards conformity. I do wish they had filled their bucket some other way, though. I'm in my 40s now, and still slowly dealing with the consequences of playground/school bullying.
Changed schools and met my best friend.
Show some clips of Luke and Jess. I think there's a good progression of Luke showing he cares even in the face of a mean kid's pushback (he supports him even through bad behavior and sass, but also gives clear boundaries and upholds consequences), and then how their relationship flourishes from that.
Loved this! Thanks for making these videos!
I think it would be really interesting to hear about the episode where Lorelai gets jealous of Rory for building a relationship with Richard (the grandfather). The episode is called "Kill Me Now" (Season 01 episode 03)
I did not deal with my bullies, North Carolina dealt with my bullies. Seriously, every kid who has ever bullied me for an extended period of time had to abruptly move to North Carolina.
I remember immediately falling in love with this show when they revealed Paris was an academic rively for Rory. The popular mean girl picking on the nerd is so overplayed, Paris remains such a well written character and foil for Rory
I always thought Paris worked best as a "what if" take on Rory-- another smart girl who's had college in her game plan since she was ten, just without the supportive home life.
Fun fact: Liza Weil originally auditioned for Rory, and her energy was so unlike what the writers had in mind they created Paris for her.
Both my ceo and coo have bullied me on several occasions (we're a small company so there's direct contact. This is my 1st long-term corporate job (always did freelance), I'm almost 40, and they belittle me so much it triggers past traumas so much, that it practically turns me into that scared little girl who can't speak up for herself. It's infuriating. At least my other colleagues are nice and I mostly work from home alone, but I dread every interaction with those two (and we also only ever have contracts for a few months at a time due to it being a small startup, so there's not enough job security to feel safe enough to speak up. At least this scenario is still lightyears better than what many other people have to face in this world.
One thing that also works with some bullies is, that when they get in your face, to point at something beyond them and laugh about it, like you don't even notice the guy who is trying to get your attention. Or (at school) look around (the bully) and casually greet someone who is walking by.
But it depends. If a bully is the violent type, it might cause more violence perhaps?
My husband got bullied quite badly at school and it hurt him to a degree that is still noticeable today (ca 40 years later). It does not help, but is an interesting fact, that that guy, as an adult, is in prison now. No bully is a happy person!
We need more Content about the office 😊
i would love it if you a did a therapized episode for some of the side characters!
paris and lane both have such complex parental trauma it would so interesting to see you analyze them
rory’s boyfriends could also be very interesting. logan and jess in particular could be interesting, because many of the things they do are wrong and inexcusable, but you can understand why they do them because of their trauma
My bully when I used to live in Spain was an absolute shithead (ironically, his name was Angel, believe it or not) everyone hated him, which in retrospect kind of isolated him, I suppose. But the kid would go around hitting people, driving the teacher's insane, and trying to pick fights with the older kids (didn't always work out in his favour, he was tiny), so of course no one wanted to be friends with him. He spent more time in the director's office than on the playground. Lucky me, he was in my year and in my class, so I couldn't escape him. For some reason, he used to target me the most (at least that's how it felt like, but altercations occurred several times a day, every day, so I feel like this is a fair statement). In turn, I ended up in the principal's office with him a lot of the time, but I would never fight back.
One day, my mother had enough of him always attacking me, she organised a meeting with his mum in the director's office. This is the first time I ever met his mum, but I found out that she was a single mum who worked a lot (in 2000s Spain? A miracle she made end's meet. My mum was also a single mum at the time and boy did we struggle, but it seems like Angel's mum had less of a support network than we did), Angel's dad was an absolute abusive prick, living his single life in South America and would barely ever call Angel. His mum was fed up with his bullshit, and she turned to me and said, "Listen to me. Next time Angel tries to hit you or says something mean, I want you to punch him as hard as you can. You're taller than him, you can do it." I was shocked, and had never been in that situation before, so I tried to protest, I didn't want to get in trouble, and she was like, "No. Hit him. He'll leave you alone once he realises you'll fight back." She then told the director to let the teachers know that if I hit him, that I would not be punished.
I didn't want to hit him, I was not a violent child, so it took a few instances of bullying and me crying to my mum for me to actually have the courage to hit him. I don't remember it perfectly, but after the playground when we were heading to class, he tried to scrap with me, grabbing my hair, kicking me, and pushing me, just impaling me with attacks. So I pushed him into a wall, punched him in the face twice, and he backed off. I remember looking at my teacher, everyone in class was staring at us, waiting for him to punish me, but he just nodded and started the lesson.
Angel would say mean things, but he never hit me again.
Omg I was just watching friends and I don’t know you guys take recommendations, but it would be awesome if you reacted to the e13 s1 of friends, the episode where phoebe is dating a therapist and comparing it to real life therapy
Idk if you watched the whole show yet. But female on female bullies are more out of jealousy. Rory’s mom is around vs Paris’ mom and dad are always traveling never home so Paris is picking on Rory out of jealousy of having a typical life. Paris’ parents don’t even show up to her graduation ceremony and it’s only her nanny/housekeeper.
Love your content!
Would you look into Lorelai's romantic relationships?
Can you therapize when Rory drops out of college cause of Mitchell and her rift and reunion with Lorelai?
Paris and Rory do become friends in later seasons but she is pretty mean to her in the beginning. I'm proud of Rory for standing up to her though. I never had the courage to do that with my bullies in middle school.
Also I had a sort of Tristan situation in sixth grade. Everyone said the guy liked me even though he treated me like crap. So immature.
I know Paris grows up and she becomes a decent friend to Rory. She's an interesting character, but an awful person in general. And I really don't feel sorry for her at all. I'm in academia, so I know a lot of Parises, and I tend to avoid them.
Paris and Emily are the best characters on the show, hands down. It just takes a little while to see how vulnerable they really are.
Would be great if one day you could do Ordinary People 🙏
"bullies thrive on people who are to scared to push back, who roll over and die". Are there any exceptions from that statement? 🧐😅 I mean I head my fair share of me pushing back an them stopping, but only with singular people. When several people (quite a lot actually) in school first startet bullying me though, I pushed and fought back very VERY loudly and aggressivly (never physically though! I just have ADHD and therefor, especially as a teen, low impuls control and basically zero emotional regulation), they did not stop. Ever. And I had tried eveything. I pushed back hard for a long time, but got me nothing except that people did not like me much. After a long while I tried ignoring them, still did not get boring for them. I tried "going with the flow" and to really make it seem like I was fine with it all and thought it was all fun and jokes when on the inside I was dying from the hurt. So just wondering really, cause I definitely did not "roll over" for years 😬😅 love your videos, they are always so insightful 💕
Rory and Jess!!
Can you please do a video talking about the fight Emily and lorelai had after Rory's dance.
You should do the relationship of rory and lorelai or rory and Paris. They're friendship growth is great
Can you therapist Tristan. Always wondered about him
I think you should check out and maybe do an episode based on the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Show was critically acclaimed but didn’t do well in ratings.
The title sounds cringey, but it actually does a good job of showcasing mental health issues in a comedic, yet sincere way.
Read the book, "Enemy Pie"
I used to try to hide from my bullies. Some times Flight is better than Fight. I do feel for both girls though.
PLEASEEEEEE do dean and Rory!!!
Would love to hear your thoughts on Lorelai and Richard’s relationship 😅
Would love to see a take on neurodivergence in Gilmore Girls (e.g., autism for Rory, ADHD for Lorelai). Perhaps in “Like Mother, Like Daughter”?
i was bullied 2ce. once by a random group of girls, friend and i were hanging in the playground so i randomly struck up a conversation with an older woman and left the park with her. whenever i have issues with random people, i always involve other people around me. another time, my bff from jr. high really wanted me to be friends with her friends (that i never liked), they bullied me and i eventually left. what was funny was that her friends found me on facebook 15 years later, sent me a message as if we were bff's and wanted to friend me. i never responded but laughed hysterically when they kept trying to get me to reply.