Gilmore Girls Gets Therapized- Lorelai & Luke Why Can't They Admit Their Feelings?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- You asked for it! We answered in a BIG way! Gilmore Girls reacts!
Will they or won't they? Why can't Luke and Lorelai just come right out and say how they feel? Luke and Lorelai get therapized!
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00:00 Lorelai and Luke Just Admit Your Feelings
01:00 Gilmore Girls clip
04:00 Will they won’t they
05:00 Gilmore Girls clip
06:30 When feelings go unexpressed
#gilmoregirls #getstherapized #mendedlight #jonathandecker
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You need to analyse the therapy tapes Luke listen to about dating 😂
Omg yess
Yes he's got to do this
Yess!
Yes! I love the "Wow" he says afterwards 😂 it always cracks me up
I didn’t know how much I needed this until you said it!
I could watch a therapized espisode for every Gilmore Gils episode.
Every episode could probably use some therapy too 🤣
SAME SAME SAME
Absolutely!
ikrrrrrrrrr
This!!!
I suggest looking at lane's (Rory's best friend) relationship with her mother. Lane lives in a more "strict" home then Rory, and she ends up hiding a lot of things from Mrs. Kim because of that.
Its not strict, it's abusive, and manipulative and crossing SOOO many lines.
@@alinac5512 Agreed! the strict is in quotations.
Poor Lane. She didn’t catch a break the entire series!
Lane is the coolest despite everything
I will never forgive the writer's room for what they did to her in season 7
I always think its funny when people say “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” by revealing their romantic feelings. However things become worse when they don’t reveal them and instead become resentful, manipulative, or dishonest, which inadvertently ruins the friendship. Being vulnerable not only has the likelihood of relieving stress off the person, but inadvertently also preserves the friendship as well!
Correct. I’ve been there before - where the guy really turned on me once he figured out I didn’t want to date him & I didn’t understand at the time because at the beginning he was so nice.
I realized later, he liked me and he handled it poorly that I wasn’t into him… he got resentful that I wouldn’t date guys like him. That is what ruined the friendship. But I think also his friendship was based on him wanting to cultivate a relationship with me.
When people say they don't want to ruin the friendship, I think it actually means that they don't really want to be in a relationship with that person.
So well put. ❤
So true
They really need to teach this stuff in school, how to have productive conversations with other humans in a healthy conflict kind of way.
These videos are making me wanna rewatch Gilmore Girls as an adult
DO IT! It's so good! 😂
Definitely do it. I just finished rewatching the series for probably my ... 6th or 7th time.😅😅
I rewatch every year even though I saw it multiple times as it came out. It's my emotional pillow fort.
@@marlyd I love how you call it an emotional pillow fort. Like I can feel what you mean
Just don't watch the revival, forget they even created it.
Pls therapisize Logans proposal to Rory! When he does it and also how he handles the rejection at her graduation!!! It’s always bothered me
I think it was out of character.
It was season 7 so…
He's watching the whole show for the first time in order. It'll be a bit before he gets there lol
I hate proposals like that!
It bothers me that she didn’t say yes. Nothing leading up to that would suggest she would say no. And everything pointed to a yes. It was just bad writing
I am enjoying this series so much. My now husband and I were friends for around 6 months before he finally spoke up. I am an oblivious person so I had no idea he had been interested in me from day 1 but was too nervous to say something - he had it worked up in his head that it would destroy the friend group if I said no. He finally worked up the courage to ask if I was interested too and the rest is history. But, even if I hadn't been, I wouldn't have felt weird afterward. What a compliment!
that'S a beautiful story :)
The thing is, sometimes you don't think about a person romantically, just because it doesn't occur to you, but being presented with that option makes you think "hey, why not". In my husband and my case it happened for both of us at the same time, one minute we're being buddies and suddenly we're having a moment. Neither of us thought about it beforehand, but we both decided to see where it could go, which I'm glad we did.
If I didn't reciprocate romantic feelings *I* would feel weird, but I think that would pass.
I am 100% here for these Gilmore Girls videos
I have a friend who had feelings for me and planned on making me a paper flower bouquet to confess, but realized pretty quickly I didn’t like her back. She wrote me a letter explaining her feelings. I told her I didn’t feel the same way and let her know if she wasn’t comfortable hanging out with me I understood (she worded her letter a little strongly in saying she couldn’t “hide that I’m in love with you and be your friend”). She said she didn’t want that at all and honestly I did cry and hug her because I was so relieved she wanted to stay friends. I think seeing so much media where the "big dramatic rejection" ends the friendship scared me. I’d never seen it dealt with in a healthy way and I didn’t know if it was possible.
It was a little awkward at first, but we’re still best friends and mention it casually now (we even tease each other about it lol). She got a girlfriend this year that’s as mad about my friend as my friend is about her, which is what she deserved! But it wouldn't have happened if she never confessed and was still waiting for me.
The way I see it, just because your platonic love doesn’t turn romantic, it doesn’t erase the love that was already there. It’s better to be honest than to be stuck between the two. If you share feelings, your relationship will evolve that way, and if you don’t, you still have a great friend who you share your life with, just in a different way. They’ll be there for you when you do find that other person :)
Loving the Gilmore Girls video series! One aspect I would love to see therapized are the boundaries that Lorelai unsuccessfully sets for Emily. A great episode that illustrates this is Season 4 Episode 5, "The Fundamental Things Apply", where Emily asks for a list of people she's not allowed to talk to, instead of just respecting Lorelai's boundaries.
Good idea!
luke still forgot the tools
"Forgot"
He left it on purpose to stake his claim on the place
A Gilmore Girls episode that doesn't make me want to reread 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents', niiiiiiice 😂
My guesses before watching the video is that Lorelai and Luke both have had to be 'the strong okes' for a long time and admitting someone has an effect on their emotional stability is very hard for them. Plus they are stubborn and don't have a huge emotional support system to fall back on so they didn't want to risk the friendship.
This!!! They did not want risking losing yet another support system in their lives...
Love the Gilmore Girls content! When you get there I would love to hear your take on Luke and Lorelai in ep 5x14 "Say Something" (and 5x13 for context). How to handle a situation where one person needs space but the other needs communication.
That wasn’t Luke “needing space” that was Luke Stonewalling. Their relationship after that season was weird and sometimes even toxic. In part because they COMPLETELY changed Luke’s character- he used to be the first one at town meetings and was just as involved with things as Lorelei but in different ways - making him a “loner” was weird and uncalled for
I'd enjoy you therapizing Rory's relationships or her friendship with Paris. Though I prefer Lorelai and there is a lot to choose from as well 😊
Loved this video! I would love to see something on how Lorelai behaves similarly to Emily. She always, says that she is nothing like her mother and that she doesn't want the same dynamic for her and Rory, but Lorelai also wants to be involved in every aspect of her daughter's life. She also has an opinion on everything - especially the boyfriends. I'd love something on how she's trying so hard not to be like her mother, but actually kind of is like her in some ways. Also- it would be great, to look at all of Rory's relationships and get your view on the, very heated,! debate of who is right for her. Love your channel!
I'm still figuring out my feelings about someone (still going through therapy things) but honestly this advice might help a lot. I've been working on taking ownership of my emotions, and the way you described this it's exactly what it is. You taking ownership of your feelings, not putting responsibility on the other to reciprocate or even make it easier for you to get rejected. Once I've figured out where I'm at and I feel confident enough I might actually use this. So thanks!
Thank you sooooo much for all the Gilmore Girls content now
This was me and my husband at first. I knew he liked me and I was starting to like him but didn't want to date anyone for awhile (had recently gotten out of a toxic long term relationship) but the feelings kept growing until one day I went to his house when he invited me to hang out, I got a little loose lipped from some drinkinh and asked him if he wanted to make out and that I liked him and one thing led to another and we have been together for almost 8 years. Be brave and say something! It may be wonderful!
I feel like the only reason people end up in this situation is that they’re not mature about dating and relationships to begin with. So they usually can’t be ok with the other person not liking them back because their self worth is completely bound up in it. When you’re ok with yourself you don’t get stuck on emotionally unavailable people; you don’t idealize people from afar or think you’re “in love” with someone you barely know.
I'd rather be emotionally immature than someone who judges emotionally immature people.
gilmore girls year in the life: emily and lorelai about richard's funeral
This 👆🏻
People definitely make it weird when their feelings aren't reciprocated because it hurts their ego. They begin to internalize why they're not "good enough," which ultimately comes down to low self esteem. The truth is it has nothing to do with their self worth. Just because someone doesn't like you back doesn't mean you're less than. Sometimes that person simply isn't for you, and that's okay. You're still one of one regardless! Like he said, feelings happen and its not a big deal. We place too much emphasis on them when most of they're temporary anyways. Thanks for this video and perspective!
You're not wrong, but the last time I told a close friend that I was into them, they got upset, moved 4 hours away, and blocked me everywhere. So, yeah it can really blow up in your face even when handled with care. I really miss that friendship.
This is a great video, but I was distracted by Jonathan’s perfect book collection in the background!
I think there is a certain degree of vulnerability which can be frightening if you have suffered from a lack of love or rejection in the past. It's easy to not make it a big deal when there is nothing to lose but when cultural norms and/or your past experiences have reinforced the pressure of finding "the one", then you do feel that it's all or nothing, and it's unfair to minimize that fear.
Your friend from grad school was the bravest person ever! I'm thinking about this video in conjunction with your video earlier this week on Attachment styles, and I suspect your friend must have had a secure attachment style, since one of the earmarks of secure attachment is that open communication. I also think a big piece of how this went was your own maturity in how you responded! I can only speak for myself, but as an anxiously attached individual, I think the fear that the other person would feel awkward and uncomfortable being around me moving forward would prevent me from doing something like this.
Can you talk about Christopher and Lorelei? You talked about the fight between their parents during the episode when he first came to visit in the series but what about the morning after? Or any other time they hooked up?
Seeing you make another Gilmore Girls episode made my day!!
Please keep these coming. This is my favorite show of all time. I'm currently watching it again on Netflix. I also just recommended it to a lady in my dog walking group who was a newborn when the show first came out. She's never heard of it before. It made me feel old because I remember watching the premier in high school and being immediately addicted.
please keep doing gilmore girls content! it’s a mix of my favorite TV show and my favorite TH-cam channel!
I love this show, and I love seeing you discuss it! I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls and have already seen multiple scenes I’d love to see your therapeutic perspective on. Many of them being Friday night dinner related 😂
When I was a teenager I really liked a friend, madly in love with him. But as you said, I didn’t had the courage to say but it showed anyways. So after a few years (yes years…) he knew. He knew how I felt and he didn’t anything because he didn’t feel the same way, but he did like the fact that I was in love with him so he didn’t let me move on. After like 7 years I thought I really need to let go, we are friends he will never love back like that, just let go… and then he kissed me after we went out with our group of friends. And in that moment I was so happy, it felt good, it felt right, years a feelings were answered. I thought… boy was I wrong because the next day he ignored me and the days after as well. When I finally saw him, he was cold and distant. Never have I been more hurt, never have I felt more used and never had I felt so low about myself. It was the end of the friendship and my best friend really needed to pick me up because my self-esteem was gone. But I did learn, I don’t connect my self-worth to a man anymore. If he doesn’t feel the same way. That’s okay it doesn’t make me less and it doesn’t make him a jerk. It just means that the relationship won’t be romantic.
I was just in a situation just like this and there were some pretty big other factors as well. I couldn’t understand what this barrier was that was keeping us from communicating well and moving forward because it was obvious that we liked each other. There were some plot twists and the whole thing kind of went up in flames, and I’m still recovering but this video was really enlightening for that. Helped me see a different side to things and see how my mindsets and fears contributed to the situation. Watching this video twice. 😊
I have the opposite problem where I assume someone likes me, I go out on a limb and then realize I’m just a friend.
Whenever I have a crush or I'm in love, I do everything in my power no to let anything slip. I know that I'm just an ugly orange nobody would ever fall for - and I don't need it confirmed.
You brave soul, never change!❤
I'm so thankful that I was randomly recommended this channel
I would love for you to look at Rory's "rebellion" arc! That was a really interesting arc for her characters development
Can't get enough of these.
Of all the people I dated and had a crush on as a teen and young adult, my husband was THE FIRST person to ever come out and say his feelings upfront right when we were becoming friends. That was what sealed the deal for me (and a decade later I still value his ability to say things directly and right away, no mind reading!!).
This was a great video and I would love to see you react to other Gilmore girls characters, as Luke and Lorelai are not the only ones with relationship problems in the show. A good example of this is naked guy also known as Marty who develops a crush on Rory during her years at college, in season four and five, he never tells her that he likes her and instead lets things get weird, sometimes he drops hints but she is completely oblivious to how he feels and at one point thinks that they just aren't as close as they are any more when in reality he just stops being friends with her out of the blue and doesn't tell her why. I think that what you said at the end of this video really applies to Marty, he should've said to Rory hey Rory I like you a lot we have fun hanging out together and I'd love to be more, but if you're not interested I'll need a week or so to wrap my head around it and I'll get back to you, or something along those lines, but instead he just starts getting further and further away from her to the point where in his mind they aren't friends anymore and she has to end up confronting him when she realises, which just ends up completely wrecking their relationship. Marty has a lot of insecurities because he's not very wealthy compared to people like Logan and he works like four jobs, he has to study and work hard because he doesn't have a trust fund to fall back on and so he is very insecure about his friendship with Rory especially when she starts becoming friends with Logan and his friends, especially since they used to bully Marty for his bartender job and limited money. I think if Marty had been upfront and honest with Rory about his feelings then things would not have gotten so complicated, he like I said ends up completely ghosting her she doesn't know why and it takes her awhile to even realise they're no longer friends and once she does she tries to fix the friendship but Too much damage has already been done and then the next time they see each other Marty pretends that he never even knew Rory when he has a new girlfriend who is also friends with Rory, this is truly disturbing the fact that he pretends he never knew Rory around his girlfriend and then also hits on her at a party, because he still has feelings for her. I would love to see you analyse Marty because he was an unfortunate character who had unrequited feelings for Rory and completely ruined their friendship. He was the only real college friend that Rory made that was a guy that didn't turn into more, I feel like they really messed up his character And maybe couldn't decide if they wanted him to be a love interest or just a guy friend because it starts off as them just being friends and then turns into a big mess, which I guess is understandable for people in university or college, but just really sad. But that's an example of the kind of things I'd like to see you discuss in future Gilmore girls videos
need that since i struggle with this
Gilmore Girls was my favorite show as a teenager and I’ve seen every episode so I love how you’re talking about this series!
I’ve had many different crushes in my life and a variety of experiences (including a couple committed relationships and a few casual situationships) with them! Most of them I was too afraid to express my feelings because I didn’t think I was attractive enough and have been rejected a few times but I wish I was more confident and upfront with everyone I was interested in and just accept whatever response I got. And I especially wish I asked right away if guys I was into were single or not since a few of them ended up not being single but I didn’t know for sure they were taken (since they didn’t make it obvious anywhere) until a few weeks later.
So I have lost friends because I ask them out. Sometimes I just want to preserve the friendship. At this point I wouldn't ask a long time friend out for fear of losing them completely I'd rather have a good friend then a failed relationship.
In my love life, I was always skeptical about being with someone who might not be worth the effort. My now-husband and I were friends for a long time before we started dating, and he turned out to be exactly what I was searching for. I overthought everything before I could express how I felt. Luckily for me, he went to my brother (who is also his best friend) to ask how I might react before making his move. It's funny how life works out sometimes, and I'm grateful for the journey that led us here.
I think that’s great advice!! I wouldn’t feel weird if a friend told me that and it’s not as scary to say if you like someone.
I am loving the Gilmore girl content!
Lorelai and Rory's mother / friend relationship would be interesting to see from your perspective as a therapist. The good, the bad the toxic?
I've watched Gilmore Girls more times than I'm willing to admit 😂 But something I noticed about Lorelei and Luke is that any time Lorelei has a problem or needs help, she immediately thinks of Luke. He became the friend that she doesn't have to take care of but will come at the drop of a hat to help her. He knows her more than she seems to know herself. She is someone that doesn't bore Luke and keeps his life interesting. She can handle his playful jabs and she genuinely cares about him. Luke needs that. All that being said, they are great for eachother.
SPOILER...
It's really sad they don't work out in the end 😭
(Edit: turns out I haven't seen ALL of the show. I am shocked and disappointed in myself and I'm gonna go actually finish it Lmao)
Lol what ending do you mean by that spoiler? They work out in both the season 7 finale and A Year In The Life. Both those endings give them a happy ending.
@@VioletEmeraldright? I wanted to say the same. She even proposes to him in a year in the life 😅
@@VioletEmerald I mean, for people that haven't seen far enough in the show to know they even get together. I don't like to spoil shows and I feel like that is one
@@anjab-1769 I actually haven't seen A Year In The Life yet so.. oof
I have definitely struggled to express my feelings, luckily my now wife expressed her feelings for me first and I was able to happily reciprocate. Sure glad she was brave enough!!
I have been that situation and your advice would have been very helpful.
I've never seen any of this show but I'm finding these videos very fun!
I kinda went through a 3rd party. 😂 I told my best friend that I liked a guy in our friend group. “But don’t say anything!” She immediately told her boyfriend (now husband), who is the BIGGEST gossip, so he, of course, told the guy. We’ve been married for 17yrs now. ❤
When I first met my best friend Christian, I quickly developed feelings for him. We were so good at communicating that I felt safe enough to just tell him. He didn't feel the same, but we went for coffee and had a long chat about it, the way we both felt about our connection and the things we value in a friendship.
That was 6 years ago and our friendship has only grown, my romantic feelings are long gone, but I'm so incredibly thankful that the conversation we had about it became the foundation of our friendship.
things you should react to:
1. rory and dean
2. logan’s proposal
3. lane and mrs kim
4. lane and dave
i wish i had seen this video in october for that advice about how to tell a friend you have romantic feelings for them. anyway i'll keep it in mind for the future. thanks!
I had the exact same situation with a guy a few years back. We enjoyed our company but it was clear, that we don't want a relationship. However after a couple of months I started having feelings for him. We talked about it and I too said, give me a few days to (as you put it) recalibrate. I did that and then we went back to being friends. It wasn't weird afterwards, as we spoke about it before any deeper feelings could be hurt.
This is by far my favorite show! There isn’t one character that you can therapize! Even Kirk! Can’t wait to see what’s next!
I loved It. React more to Gilmore Girls
Thanks for the vid!
A dear friend of mine came out last year and told me that he liked me, will always think I’m beautiful and smart, and wants me to continue walking into every room like I own it😂❤. I did tell him thank you and that I see him only as a friend. But I will always respect that he did that and I will remember those compliments.
We are not buddy-buddy because I think that will be disrespectful to his feelings, but we are still dear friends.
Seeing Lorelai and Luke is always entertaining, not just because of the comedy, but because their bond is based on friendship, not just a mutual attraction, and that makes for such solid bonds. Plus Luke always shows up for Rory not just because he liked Lorelei, so he’s good in my books.
4:19 i had a friendship, much similar to Lorelai's & Luke's, the "will they won't they" but I got the bad ending LMAO. My friends supported the idea of us together and rooted for us, but the guy and i were far too mentally ill to want to pursue anything. We both weren't able to get mental help, but we both had feelings for each other. I was definitely scared of ruining the relationship, thus ending our friendship in the process. I tend to be self destructive in relationships and i need to break that cycle. But he has his own self destructive tendencies, as he very recently randomly decided to block me on everything. I've been devastated all week over it. I respect that this is his way of needing space, so I've yet to have gotten into contact with him. It's only been a couple days but I'm really worried about him & his mental state rn.
The way I always saw the Lorelay and Luke situation was that they knew that what they had was more than just a friendship and/or relarionship, deep down they both knew they would be all in on that one, they were scared of not ruining it after the point of coming out about it, as none of them had a good track reccord. I think Lorelai wasn't so careful with the other guys she dated because she didn't really see herself with them in a real world real life scenario past the honeymoon phase. But Luke was there to stay, he was already like a parent figure to Rory, Lorelay trusted him and all that. So if they started the dating part and one of them would have screwed up, that would have been way more grave than leaving Max at the altar for example. And they both knew that and it scared them. But that's just my angle.
This is really amazing advice I wish I had 10 years ago... Think it really would have helped. At this point, every one of those unspoken crushes I had has married off and I feel like I barely know any single people anymore 😭
_cue the chorus of "All by Myself"._
Lol, oh well... Live and learn, I guess. At least now I have this advice handy for next time! 💕
What you said at the end should be how it goes, but if one of the people isn't mature about it, it could be bad. When I was a teen, I told my friend I liked him. He blew up, said he never wanted to talk to me again and quit the after school activity we were both in. It was pretty difficult to put myself out there after that.
I have revealed to more crushes than I count that I’ve had feelings for them or I’ve asked them out and 9/10 times they decide rather than being upfront with me to ghost me and go to extreme lengths to avoid me. My honesty is never met with honesty back. The few times the person I liked had the courage to tell me they don’t reciprocate it was so much easier and I was able to get over them much faster
2 steps forward 1-2 steps back. It's the main way I try but it is such a hard dance step, to not feel hurt.
I was so happy when they finally got married in the end… happy tears
I would love to see you analyze which of Rory's romantic love interests (Dean, Jess, and Logan) are healthy relationships and which one you think would be like a better/healthier couple. Most fans have like strict favourite from a romantic pov so it would be cool to see you look at the couples from a therapist point of view and like rank them! I've always been a Logan girl myself cause in the original show he knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to say it when it came to Rory!
I told my colleague that I have feelings for him and asked if it was mutual he didn’t respond but we talk as if nothing changed. It’s a weird limbo to be in but I have redirected my feelings to showing love for myself. And try to keep having trust and faith that everything will work out whether it’s him or someone totally new to enter my life. It will all work out.
I had that conversation a couple times with guys that were first and foremost very close friends, only I was the one that said I would like to date them. They were not interested and told me their reasons - that they just didn't feel that way or didn't want to jeopardize the friendship (which also meant he just didn't feel that way about me). It was fine; I survived and we are still friends to this day.
There's a podcast I listen to all about gilmore girls. Gilmore to say with Tara and Haley. It would be so cool if there were a collab!
My feelings are always a big deal cuz I can't shut them off or recalibrate. I have a stupid middle school crush on a coworker and I know it's based on my trauma because he's quiet, calm, patient (like NO ONE pisses him off except our company), and is always ready to teach, even repeatedly. He's stable, and smart and nerdy. He literally checks all the boxes and is the exact opposite of every man I have ever had in my life. But he's a coworker, and he's technically a superior (he's not in management per se but has a higher ranking for our department). And I'm stupid and awkward and wear my heart on my sleeve and I just can't shut it down and I hate it. 🤦🏼♀️ I am so desperate and broken that even though logically it is all wrong, I can't make myself stop.
I more or less had the reverse problem, where I learned from mutual friends that a good friend of mine had feelings for me that I didn't return. I also didn't know how to approach the subject and basically just let the friendship sizzle out starting with not doing any one-on-one things anymore. What made the whole thing even worse for me was that our friends kept pushing the issue by telling me what a great couple we'd make, or how much we had in common, despite my repeatedly clearly telling them I wasn't interested in that friend in a romantic way. Needless to say that those friendships also sizzled out once we started moving to different cities as I felt like they were totally overstepping and not respecting my feelings.
I was in that scenario. It was messy and complicated. I tried so hard not to catch feelings because I knew I wasn't his type ( He liked "bossy women" his words not mine, and I was more girl next door sweet and shy vibes) But his kindness, sticking by me even when I told him "it's okay if you need to leave, I'll be fine", never talking down to me, asking about the things that I was passionate about and supporting them when they were done, always being there when I needed help most every time, the list goes on. I'm the one used to being abandoned and in the end I'm the one who ran away because he didn't feel the same way. He's the reason why I'm able to be vulnerable now and I miss him every day.
After years of doing the dance I felt like I was going crazy and told him how I feel, he said he didn't think it was a good time...
Now, I haven't spoken to him for 10 years and miss him as a person and a friend but ultmately I think It's good that it turned out that way. I needed someone who would be there in my worst moments as I had a very hard life at the time and he was out there exploring himself and partying as every young man in his 20s does.
It's a real shame that we never got to experience the relationship and see if it work out and it does cross my mind sometimes the "what if" but now I'm happily married to someone else who I think is much better and healthier fit.
I was also before I learned the life lesson of "passionate crazy love is usually the most toxic"
Omgggg I love this Gilmore girls playlist! You have to analyze why Lorelai didn’t got married with max! I’ve always try to analyze it 😂
My opinion, before watching this episode is that both of them value each other deeply but are scared of ruining an amazing friendship.
They both have fears of loved ones leaving (Luke with both his parents’ deaths, his sister taking off and having almost no contact, Rachel coming and going. Lorelai with Chris’ empty promises and him constantly bailing on her and Rory, I also feel like her relationship with her parents has something to do with this but I cannot pinpoint it).
So they both most likely thought “Hey, I already have this amazing friendship with this person, I can talk to them about almost anything, so why show them ALL my flaws by involving them romantically? If we’re friends, we’re friends, if we date, we break up so there is no need for that”.
Someone once posted about how they’re types of avoidant attachment and with a really good explanation, and I agreed with that too.
Also, another guess would be that they both had to be on their own for sooo long.
I agree with all of this! I think her parents contributed by also being kind of hot and cold. Although she knows her parents like the back of her hand and she knows how complicated they can be, we see her have several pleasant moments with her parents and there's always this glimmer in her eyes that suggests that she seems hopeful that it will stay that way. But those moments are often ruined by her parents' (usually Emily's) harsh or demeaning words/actions. I also believe that her upbringing heavily wavered back and forth between pleasant times/opportunities and unpleasant, suffocating times. I think her fear of instability and inconsistency heavily stemmed from her parents and it affected how much she was willing to cross the line with someone she truly cared about, ie Luke. I've always assumed that that was part of why it was so difficult to finally break the flow that she and Rory had. She craved a stable, consistent environment and she did what she could to maintain that, which many of us can relate to and understand. It took some growth on her part for her to be open to something different and it took some growth on Luke's part to finally show his true feelings. Sorry for babbling lol Gilmore Girls is just my favorite show and certainly psychologically interesting!
Well, in television it's usually that they're in a relationship with someone else. Which happens a lot on Gilmore Girls. But on a deeper level:
I think part of it kind of boils down to Lorelai's main relationship issues: Rory and commitment. She enjoys having short-term relationships where she can compartmentalize and keep her role as a mother separate from the part of her that's an attractive, smart, and single thirty-something. But with Luke, he already has a sort of father/daughter dynamic with Rory, so if she were to date him compartmentalization wouldn't be an option so it would have to be something serious right away. And Rory has been the #1 focus of Lorelai's life since she got pregnant, so she doesn't know how to do serious romantic relationships.
So here I don't think Lorelai is oblivious to Luke's feelings, she's just scared of her own. And because Luke knows he isn't the most romantic guy ever, she's the one who would need to make the first move.
I would love a whole video on the Luke and Lorelei story. Because it’s so about these two guarded adults and they hurt each other without realising it and almost don’t work through it. Trying not to spoiler it! Also, just Lorelai’s growth as a person through all her relationships is so interesting, she messes up but really learns from them (eventually).
I know it’s been done to death, but I would love a therapist view of Rory and her boyfriends. I also think a video about Christopher and Lorelai as parents and as a relationship would be great. Rory’s birth defines both of their lives in different ways. Christopher has a lot to learn. I just could watch 1000s of videos on Lorelai and her relationship with her parents. So much pain and misunderstanding despite all the love. Emily and Richard also have a very socially conventional relationship but they actually adore each other and are lost without each other which is interesting and a bit co-dependent. I also think there has been a lot of criticism about Rory, it would be interesting to have some more nuanced interpretation of her life choices.
Your advice probably wouldn’t have worked for me when I was in situations like that in the past, but probably mainly because I have ADHD (undiagnosed at the time), and my rejection sensitivity dysphoria is off the charts lmao. I’m much better at regulating it now that I know what it is, but back in college when I was in a situation like this with someone I just did not have the capacity to not take it personally, even though rationally I knew I shouldn’t.
Immediate LIKE ❤
Best couple on the show!
I've been in this situation when I told him, he reciprocated, thought we were starting something, and then he ghosted me 😂
It should have been Christoper for this reason, they both open up so much better and have healthy communication with each other. The seventh season was written under different people and completely changed the characterization of several characters
I've heard that. I kind of dread getting there, wa-waaa.
Honestly, I think they need to put more healthy moments like your example in TV shows and movies. Like in Ginny & and Georgia, how the one girl always asks before hugging or kissing anyone.
I've actually experienced something similar as I had a friend I developed feelings for after a few months of knowing each other. I know, it's sudden for such a recent friendship but I tried to hide it for a while and I finally had to let it out because it was too overwhelming. He told me he didn't feel the same way I did so I told him I was fine with it and I'd get over it quickly so that's what I did and for some reason he started acting weird around me, would deny it and after months without addressing the topic he brought it up only to make sure it was okay for him to start flirting with a girl he liked. Idk found the whole thing so weird.
In contrast, could you please analyse the episode in S5 after Lorelai and Luke had a terrible time and she leaves him a message in his answering machine? That scene kills me every time. Thanks!!!
I was best friends with my partner since I was a small child when I got older I had different feelings but was terrified of ruining the relationship eventually after about 6 years of trying to ignore it finally bit the bullet. We have been together over ten years now
Gilmore Girls and therapy go so well together I kinda want him to do the whole series now. GG being my favorite show is just part of it haha.
I recently ended a romantic relationship with someone I've been with for awhile and while that was tough, one thing we both prided ourselves on was open two-way communication. If one of us was unhappy we'd come out and say it. I have a tendancy to withdraw from conflict but I'm getting better. But my point is I think communication is VERY important in any kind of relationship.
I see Little House books on the shelf!
I think your advice is completely reasonable. I've been on both ends of this situation and the main issue is some humans aren't secure enough in themselves or their friendship to take that advice.
And with Luke and Lorelei specifically, what happens with them as a couple or even as friends has implications on the whole town, which is just an added level of unnecessary pressure keeping them apart for a while (clearly I'm kind of a fan 😅)
Please react to the so-called 'The Downfall of Rory Gilmore' about a burn-out gifted kid! I think id be so interesting!
I think why I’m so drawn to Gilmore Girls is because I realized that I married a Luke. He’s wonderful and thoughtful but also a pain in the ass. We’ve been together for 12 years.
He also owned a coffee shop when we first met. He made me a pumpkin spiced latte with a pumpkin smiley face. He also had the best coffee in town, no joke. It was one of my fav spots to hang out in to unwind after work. I wish I could go back and relive those days.
I think what makes it terrifying is when we're so unconvinced of our own self-worth, that we need that "yes" to validate us. If you're secure in who you are and what you have to offer, suddenly that "yes" isn't as necessary and that rejection isn't as terrifying. That's when that easy, casual approach of, "Hey, here's where I'm at, if that's not where you are then that's fair" can really work for you. I got to that place after college, after really getting to know myself as a single person and a relationship person, and believing in my own value. It made a huge difference in how I was able to approach new potential relationships.
Therapize Luke and Lorelai’s relationship on not being able to communicate/being honest when they have started dating and engaged.
None of you may have noticed and you don't see the title very well but now I know Jono's read Percy Jackson and I'll never forget!! 9:21
Do all of Rory's boyfriends! Or, Lane and her mom!
How I Met Your Mother, the episode where Lily and Marshall make Robin and Barney "Define the Relationship"
If he actually does one about Lorelai's attatcent style and how it plays into her relationships l would actually sob over in relief because l was not proud of how l could relate to her back then.
This was a fun video. What I really want your thoughts on is Dean and how he started off as a sweet guy to a jealous psycho to a cheating husband.
Something like this happened to me a few years ago. There was this guy, we were not CLOSE friends but we used to hang out and talk. I started developing feelings for him and decided to tell him. It was something like "Hey, this may come as a surprise but I like you, I don't know if you feel the same way, but I thought you should know in case you want to give this a try and see where things go. And if you're not interested I'll understand and we can pretend I never said this". He was surprised but said he liked it that I took the first step, so we went on a couple of dates, we even got intimate, and then he ghosted me.
A few months later he came back into my life as if nothing had happened. I was upset and I told him that if he had lost interest or didn't like us as a couple he should've told me instead of disappearing. He owned up to his mistake, he apologized, he said he got confused but that now he realized that he actually enjoyed what we were having and wanted to keep dating. I hesitated but gave him a second chance and dated for a few months. And then he ghosted me again.
At that point his attitude made me get over him in terms of romantic feelings, we would not work out as a couple, we'd better stay friends. But he has always had this way of sneaking back to that place and would ask me out to things that looked like dates. I would still hang out with him because we had fun together, we had common interests, the same kind of humor, etc, but every time he would try to kiss me or something I'd tell him I'm no longer interested in that.
After that, we didn't hang out as much but still talked. And for like 8 years we would be talking and having a great time and he would say something like "You'd be the perfect wife for me, too bad you " (and by stupid excuse I mean things like "you prefer winter to summer"). So, on the one hand, I think expressing my feelings was helpful because, in the end, I knew we would work out together. But on the other hand, I feel like he used this to have control over me and reappear time after time trying to "create hope" that we could be together, which was kind of hurtful for me.
Logan and Rory's break up (his thing with his sisters friends, the his sisters wedding)
Anything about Jess, Lane, Lane and Dave.❤