Therapist Reacts to ADHD in ELF
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ธ.ค. 2020
- Buddy the Elf is hilarious to watch, but what would it be like to actually live with someone like him? Well, it would be a lot like parenting a kid with ADHD. Or really any high-energy kid.
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright talk parenting tips, how they deal with their own ADD, and what we can learn from Will Ferrell's and James Caan's characters in Elf.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
Hi everyone! Jonathan here, just getting in front of this. Adults diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder likely won't resemble Buddy the Elf. Because of the childlike nature of the character, what he demonstrates is an exaggerated, comedic version of what ADHD looks like in kids.
In this episode we cover more of what it's like to parent an ADHD child, give practical advice, and offer research-based hope. For those who are curious, to qualify for ADHD one most demonstrate five or more symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity (according to the DSM-V).
With inattention, Buddy displays 1) difficulty sustaining attention [the doctor's office] 2) fails to follow through on tasks and instructions [doesn't meet established standards in toy-making] 3) is easily distracted [throughout the film] 4) avoids/dislikes tasks requiring sustained mental effort [again, toy-making], though it should be said he CAN maintain attention if he's excited or passionate about something, and 5) lacks attention to detail [slow on the uptake with a LOT of things about life outside the North Pole, but again not with things he's excited about].
With hyperactivity, Buddy is 1) "on the go" as if driven by a motor, 2) talks excessively 3) blurts out answers 4) interrupts or intrudes on others and 5) has difficulty engaging in quiet, leisurely activities.
As we discuss in the episode, there are many ways for persons with ADD and ADHD to thrive and excel in life. Both Alan and I have ADD, and we know that path very well :) Those looking for support and guidance may wish to consult a psychologist for individual therapy.
Thank you so much for what you guys are doing I love you guys
You might want to pin this comment :D Love y'all
@@haveagoodmourning thank you! I thought I did, but maybe not? Appreciate you looking out for us.
@@CinemaTherapyShow Np :) Have a great day
Glad this is being discussed by someone who has experience, looking forward to it!
Fun fact in case you didn’t know: the whole scene where Buddy gets to New York was shot in one day with a camera following Will Ferrell (in character) interacting with random people on the street.
That's actually so fun 😂😂😂😂
Oh yeah, the guy in the red suit who he thought was Santa was just a random man. He reaction was genuine.
That's males the movie better thinking that that guy he thinks is santa then he goes not santa is just some random guy who was problebly like wtf
I thought so! It looked like genuine reactions from people! 😂
if you can be a "buddy" anywhere, its NY city haha. not unusual to see people dressed up and acting odd who arnt getting paid to do so haha.
"LADIES 😏"
"NO, Dont Do That!"
"GENTLEMEN 😏
I found that so frwaking funny
these guys have such good banter
I was just like "Oh my gosh..." 😂
funniest moment for me LOL XD
That killed me 🤣😭😭
"'You must be creative.' No! I have a chemical imbalance."
As an artist with ADHD who writes, draws, dances, does theater, cosplays, and sings, truer words have never been spoken.
😂I have these same gifts and interests as an ADHD adult. 😂😂😂❤
LITTERALLY ME LOL. I’m an artist with adhd and anxiety who draws, does theater, Sings, plays violin, and writes.
I'm a student with ADHD, I trick myself to get invested into books to the point I can't stop reading, that's how I got through school
@@NicoNeoX that is one way to do it XD
@@NicoNeoX Had I thought of that school wouldn't have been a nightmare for me. I have Autism. Specifically Aspergers which everyone says is supposed to make me smart but that is definitely not the case. Which only feeds into my insecurity.
"It's attention MISMANAGEMENT disorder" YES THANK YOU. As someone with ADHD, that is a constant struggle to make people understand.
I once heard someone talk about their ADHD by saying: "It's not that I can't focus, I can't *direct* focus."
They should rename it so that the two don't get people confused. AMD Maybe?
@@meganluck4352 While it could work, I just find it funny that it just happens to have the same name as the AMD processor.
@@meganluck4352 I mean, they used to separate ADHD and ADD, before realizing that it's creating the same neurological imbalance, but that the symptoms are what is different. A lot of people with ADHD have experienced many different environments, which affects how they develop as people. Social conditioning has a lot to do with symptoms too, which is why ADHD in girls is critically under studied.
@@otaku3OBSESSION Thank you for responding. I really hope they devote more research to this and help as many people as possible.
When he said people with ADHD tend to excel as therapists, I got a little happy. I am a master student psychology with ADHD :)
Good luck
Rooting for you!
happy for you!!
I'm hoping to strive for that as a fellow ADHD uwu
Wishing you all the best luck :))
“ you must be creative.”
“No. I have a chemical imbalance.” I can picture the look of confusion on my art teacher’s face.
I need this on a shirt
I somewhat doubt one excludes the other
@@ApequH not mutually exclusive, yet also not strongly connected. :p
I was around 12 or 13 when this movie came out. I remember my mom hating it because according to her, Buddy acted like a "little brat". The thing is growing up I was constantly holding back the urge to act like this because she had made it very clear that doing so was not only wrong but disrespectful towards her.
She always says I was such a well-behaved child, but what I've always been hesitant to tell her was that I had no real idea what was deemed as bad behavior unless someone directly told me and at that point, it was too late. So I figured the best thing I could do was just sit down and be quiet.
Same here. My parents are great people, but dad grew up with switches and belts, and mom is sooo particular about everything, I wrapped my whole personality around "being good." I was praised by teachers and adults for being good and quiet, which felt good so that reinforced the behavior. Now that I'm older, I've come out of my shell a lot and say/do things that aren't typical of me that make my parents wonder about me sometimes, but I wonder if that's my "true" personality coming out?
@@a.b.cooper4807 I am the same way! Turns out,im autistic lol
I'm there with ya. My mom hated this movie for the same reason your mom did. I love my parents but playing hot and cold with behavior in an attempt to live up to their expectations was exhausting. Especially because I wanted to keep the peace at home, and good kids keep the peace. In college, I found really good friends and I was allowed to be myself more. And oh my gosh, this movie really hits home. Way too many people think I am high, including my best friend when she 1st met me lol.
@@a.b.cooper4807 samee
God, exactly the same! How do they not understand that doing this absolutely kills all enthusiasm for life when ADHD kids move on to adulthood??
When I explain my ADHD to people, and what my needs are, I say, “I can either sit still or listen, you can’t have both.” My body can usually be still if my mind is allowed to wander. But if I need to be focused and engaged in something that doesn’t already include physical activity, it’s best if I have something to do with my hands, like crocheting or drawing. That keeps part of my brain busy so the rest of it can listen in a meaningful way.
This right here! I’m not hanging from the curtains, but I need some kind of employment of my body to listen for long periods of time.
Now that I think about it, this explains my need to pen twirl or the like 🤔 Likewise with being still only when the mind wanders!
I appreciate your comment SO very much
It really helps me to much better understand my older sister(almost 16 years older than I) and it really means a lot for me as a visual learner.
I've heard many other explanations on this subject, but none really made it made clear sense to me before this.
Thank you and God bless!
I latch-hooked a couple of rugs in high school because my teachers figured out that I can pay attention better if my hands are busy.
@@rach2909 I'm glad it was helpful! 😊
I have never so aggressively wanted a channel to take off as badly as I do this one. I'm sharing this page with legit everyone I know.
Thank you so much!!
I'm doing the same thing!
it's spam time
Same! I'm loving this channel!!
Same haha
even therapy is in the Christmas mood
im nto trying to sound mean or anything but it always bothers me that people act like other holidays dont exist-tonights the first night of hanukkah yet im constantly getitng christmas shoved im my face
@@randomhuman1198 we just love Christmas 😂 it's also probably because we don't celebrate Hannukah (or at least I don't because I'm a Christian) but at least I'm just excited because of all the wonderful aspects of Christmas and obviously remembering that it marks the day that Jesus was finally born into this world 😊 anyway, I just can't apologize for my extreme excitement for Christmas, and I think there's nothing wrong with loving a holiday! Just know I have nothing against you, I just love Christmas because it's very special to me 😁
@@alyssashoemaker3414 its ok-its just kinda sad to see christmas stuff everywhere when its not even christmas and its a holy day for jews
something random i wanna add and im nto tryna sound rude im jsut curious-why dont christians celebrate jewish holidays? the old testement is part of christianity and its jesuses on religion
plus double the holidays
@@alyssashoemaker3414 acyually jesus was born in spring the followers of jesus changed the date so it would be nearthe pagan holidays so they could convert some pagans
@@aenbywerewolf3859
Fun fact about that, Christmas used to be a time of pure, relentless (and consentual I believe?) intercourse.
Don’t hold me on that, google it yourself, but I believe so.
As someone who repeatedly got told to stop being so sensitive/loud/annoying by everyone they knew as a kid, including my parents, and in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, the part where they say to embrace and encourage that side of your kids made me cry.
oh jeez, sorry you had to go through that stuff.
i remember a "friend" i had when i was in 5th grade that had ADHD, i thought they were annoying. i didn't treat them bad, say to their face that they were annoying or anything, but it was mostly because they would even try and copy my personality and lie that they shared stuff in common with me. they would act rude to my best friend and expect for me and my best friend to treat them nicely after they acted like a jerk(but got upset when we ignored them for it), and when i tried to stop being friends with them because they were hyprocritical, a narcissist, unloyal, etc., they'd spread rumors about me to all my friends and make them dislike me.
I feel your pain, growing up with ADHD made things difficult with my family but now slowly they’re trying to understand how it feels for me
I had the opposite experience, with different results, in adult ADHD. My parents hardly ever disciplined me. I was mostly calm and quiet (on the outside). Now I struggle with lack of self discipline, boundaries and emotional control. It honestly feels like I’m an adult imposter.
But you’re right, their supportive message gets to me too.
Didn't make me cry, but I definitely felt the things you did. Growing up in an abusive household where mental illness/disorders are heavily stigmatized takes a toll on one, to say the very least. I hope you're doing better now, though. Just know that the way you're wired is perfect, because it is what makes you *you.*
I understand, I have ADHD too. I have been told I am chaotic, loud and and sensitive. I also forgot to add slow. It’s hard, I used to cry and be embarrassed so much. I still am very self conscious if I talk too much.
ADHD is our superpower. We are creative individuals.
My son was not diagnosed with Asphergers and ADD until the 10th grade. His H.S. guidance councilor said he was lazy. I told her she was full of crap. I said "I know lazy. Lazy does not build a complete beach scene with mountains, water, stores (including a costume shop) out of loose legos." I had him tested that year and he drastically improved. Did find out about 6 months after this comment that the school had put him in a class that he had not had a pre-req for. So his failing grade was not because of lazy or ADD or Asphergers but because the school put him in a class that he should have never been in.
That's Impressive, Better than anything I've Attempted in Art Class, Which I LOVE ART But it never came out right for me
I wish my mom is like you.
As someone with ADHD/Autism, I legit had a moment like that Lego beach scene back in high school with my high school art project, where while most of my other classmates were doing paintings and whatnot, I was the one guy making a cardboard box and paper model of the Pokemon Hydreigon, complete with multiple heads and wings. Needless to say the art teacher was both surprised and impressed by this, lol.
Me, a 14-year-old girl, getting parenting advice and fun neurological facts at 2 in the morning.
Respect fellow 14-year-old girl getting parenting advice and fun neurological facts... at 4pm
Why hello fellow 14 yo girls, I should be studying but I too am watching this
hello 😂
@@spaghetti3406 go for it
Honestly, same.
ADHDers: I've connected the two dots.
Neurotypicals: You didn't connect shit.
ADHDers: I've connected them.
Thank you, Alan, for explaining this condition in meme format.😂
TRUTH
@adam spong honestly an exponentially better meme to describe adhd than the old "oh a butterfly" and lol randumb memes.
TRUE
Yes buzzfeed unsolved meme!
honestly that is one of the best interactions that solidified bfu in iconic territory
"Am I sick?"
"Yes, but that's not why we're here" 🤣 such an underrated line
ADHD nurse here (diagnosed as an adult). The inability to tune out all the beeps on the Med-Surg floor is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing: I notice when someone's IV pump is not functioning because I hear the beep and I must find the beep and make it stop because I can't do my other work, AKA charting, until I make the beep stop. Also, I am the quickest to answer a call light because otherwise, the beeps will continue, and that little part of my brain is always thinking "what if it's a little old lady who might try to climb out of bed and break her other hip if I don't answer this call light." And sometimes, I do find a creative way to make things work when we don't have the exact device we need for a specific patient's specific need.
Curse: we do occasionally get a patient who will be on their call light every few minutes like the boy who cried wolf, and it completely takes me away from what I am "supposed to be doing". It also makes prioritizing very difficult because to an ADHD person "everything" is important.
Yeah, same here, except I'm sensitive to smells as well. It's a good thing when it means I notice that there's a gas leak before anyone else would have. Not so much when it keeps me up at night because I can't figure out how to get rid of a weird smell in my room.
I was sitting with my mother after a surgery to remove cancer from her colon for a few days. And I have to say really appreciate that there are nurses out there who would be ADHD enough to not -ignore- a call light or IV beep for 20 minutes. I AM ADHD and the IV being busted freaks me out, and of course more distressing is my mother needing help that I can't give her because "its not my job to fiddle with things"
-but then the people whos job it is dont consider it very urgent to help- gosh it was so frustrating. All that is to say as much as we with ADHD end up with burnout for reacting so quickly to these things that become background noise to others- I think its still worth it to the people who are part of the 'background noise'. Theres a reason why we're here and why we dont have the option to "get used to it". Some things will always need to be addressed.
It never occurred to me that Buddy has ADHD, but I suppose he does have kid adhd symptoms....
Just thinking back through the movie itself, I’m not really sure I’d say Buddy has ADHD. Seems more like a child having trouble adjusting to a new environment. But I’m curious to see what they have to say.
Yeah, I have ADHD, and he doesn't give off ADHD vibes to me. More like a kid stuck in an adult's body.
@@lindseysquire8417 Which is why I've never really liked Elf.
@@lindseysquire8417 I also have ADHD and this definitely doesn't gives me ADHD vibes at all... It's not about to be a hyperactive kid all the time, there are different aspects about it.
I never thought of him as having ADHD either.
I've actually responded "no, I've got a chemical imbalance" heaps of times when people hear I have anxiety and they tell me to just "stop worrying."
As if "anxiety' ever responded to "just stop worrying". Oy. Good for you for striving to re-educate the masses. I'm working on it with other conditions, some of this too. High fives and keep on going!
When people give me anxiety, I tell them "oh you must be very anxious right now" and usually they become self-aware and correct their anxiety provoking behavior. people care more about how they're perceived than how they behave.
My favourite is "don't be nervous"
It’s like telling someone with flatulence to stop getting gas. Stop. You look dumb.
I say something like that too but I say… “ there’s something wrong with my brain it doesn’t work right.” As a kid I felt like o was not smart enough but now I’m accepting myself and my quirks. It took me so long to accept myself.
The scene where his dad asks "What do you want, money?!" and he responds "No, I just wanted to get to know you." I relate to it so hard as someone who grew up without ever meeting his dad and when he finally did, the dad wanted nothing to do with him. And in the same way he just assumes his dad would be so happy to meet him and be with him, I've likewise had that feeling of "But....you're my dad. I'm your only son. Don't you want to know me?"
I love this movie to death but it does hit me in very real ways that I only wish I had the optimism and cheerfulness Buddy does.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
It's so cool hearing you guys talk so positively about ADD and ADHD. One of my best friends has ADD and she says that one of her biggest frustrations with how ADD is perceived and understood is that it's so often characterized by how it affects the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. Like, a lot of people think about ADD in a "oh this person is going to be a lot to handle, oh they're going to have so much energy that I'll have to help manage" and instead of characterizing things from the person's point of view, it's characterized by the perspectives of the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. That's why I love this so much, because you guys are combatting the kinds of misconceptions my friend has spent most of her life battling against. You guys give a voice to something that is so often deeply misunderstood. My friend is one of the smartest people I know and people like you advocating for people like her make it that much easier for her to live her life exactly as she is (with Adderall).
This! so many of the diagnosing criteria are based on how "inconvenienced" other people were, instead of looking at it inside an ADHD brain -- which is executive dysfunction and time blindedness
@RavenArrowz no, its not meth. Adderal and Desoxyn (label name for prescription meth) are two different drugs.
Also, Adderall has been proven to help many people and its none of your business to offer unsolicited advice when someone says they take it.
This, especially because not everyone functions the same way as ADHD/ADD is depicted in media. Mine, for instance, has me zone out like a zombie. I disassociate and I cannot stop it. Sometimes I de-realize, too, especially during stressful situations. I have hurt myself and almost walked into the street or crashed my car due to these issues. I lose time and can literally drive from one point in town to the other without realizing it and not even know how I got there, if I ran red lights, etc. I don't get too hyper but I do have a hyper personality and like multitasking and talking a lot once you get me talking to you. I don't have a lot of energy because I never get good sleep thanks to my ADD. And when I do take my meds (the side-effects are just too much sometimes) I barely get 3-4 hours of sleep and then get so hyper before I crash. My head pounds a lot, I get double vision constantly (think of trying to focus your cell phone camera on something and it never gets cleared up), and my migraines get triggered a lot due to the pounding in my forehead.
@@ea-tr1jh thank you. I hate that people constantly spread that misinformation.
"*mistakes, not abuse" is so important!
Yes
absolutely
Time stamp?
“Have you ever hit a tree with a stick? It’s life changing!” Ok my mom said so much stuff like this to my ADHD having self as a kid
My grandpa showed me the magic of jumping off the couch face down onto a bean bag. Kept me occupied for hours
@@tartagliussy529 ah that is quite magical!
“How many times can you run around the house?”
you are making the tree hit itself
I also noticed another psychological theme in this movie, the struggle of finding and healing your inner child.
Buddy had a child-like personality, filled with innocence, wonder, and excitement, with a high tolerance for when things don’t go right. Meanwhile his new family, coworkers, love interest, and the strangers he met…all had lost connection with their inner child, becoming cogs in the machine in adult society. They learned the best way to get through is to keep their heads down and just do what they are told, leaving behind personal happiness, joy, and creativity…everything that makes life worth living. Buddy being loud and unashamed of his passions in a world that tries to limit him in a box like everyone else, shows people around him that it’s okay to be yourself, no matter what others say. And slowly, he starts to ignite the hearts of the people he cares about, waking their inner child again, reminding them of what life should feel like and not to take things too seriously.
It really makes me emotional when I watch this movie, because I have someone in my life that reminds me of Buddy, and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.
I love this!!!
As a little person who is a huge fan of the movie Elf, I don’t get mad or offended when someone doesn’t know better. If they genuinely don’t know, I will stop and have a calm conversation with them
I got my ADHD diagnosis while in a therapy session when I joked about wondering if I had it because I'd gone off on seven different tangents in the span of like four minutes and my therapist looked at me funny and asked, "Did you not already know you have ADHD?"
Same! Hahaha
woah i wished any of my therapists had pointed that out but instead i found out myself
I had a similar experience! I went to therapy because I felt my brain was in absolute chaos and I didn't know why, and my therapist asked in session 2, "Has ADHD ever been brought up as a possibility?" It never had because my hyperactivity is more verbal/internal. She got me evaluated, and so many things finally made SO MUCH MORE SENSE after my diagnosis.
I've gone on 4 topics in 3 minutes and my parents don't believe me
@@katbar8083 conversations with adhd people are the only ones that make damn sense to me at this point 😂 like people can talk about the same thing for ten minutes without fifteen tangents, a handful of unrelated micro conversations, and a brief unrelated anecdote in the middle? HOW???
YES there's a difference between forgiving mistakes and abuse.
Did you mean to say that there’s a difference between forgiving mistakes and *allowing* abuse?
Well allowing abuse is allowing someone else’s abuse to happen, forgiving abuse is forgiving people for abusing you which you just....shouldn’t
oh btw when i say that i just mean the correction is wrong, not that you should allow abuse\
@@gpettus9508 the way i took it (in context with the video) Jon was saying we need to let people be human and forgive and forget, but the disclaimer was forgive and forget mistakes - don't forgive and forget abuse (which abusers so often say good children must do) Because kids can't "allow" abuse, they are simply subject to it
I really hope Cinema does a episode where they continue to dicuss the difference between mistakes and abuse.
“Give them structure, give them boundaries, teach them how to function, but don’t squelch it.”
THANK YOU.
Everyone always applauds Will Ferrell in this role, and it’s well deserved, but can we take a moment to appreciate the tactful, ultimately lovely performance of James Caan. RIP
"Self-diagnosed, but I can do that." Wow, what a flex!
Huge flex
He probably cant thou
@@snowleopard9907 sure he can. He's got a bachelor in psychology and knows a good amount about neuroscience. Aside from his obvious therapist abilities
True! I imagine that it doesn't hurt to get an another professional assessment, free from any personal bias.
@@seanmurphy7350 don't you need a masters to be a therapist?
"Ladies..."
"No, don't do that, I don't want-"
"Gentlemen..."
I laughed so hard omfg
This is five months late but... is your pfp Crowley--
@@kyleehosmerart yes, I drew it a couple of years ago
@@Mewz123 nice
Speaking as an adult with an ADHD diagnosis, the "dangle the shiny" approach is genuinely helpful. I can get understimulated very easily at work and love it when I have something repetitive to do with my hands, even if it's otherwise really boring.
I think one of the most surprising things I learned about my adhd is that it is the cause of my chronic exhaustion. According to my psychologist, because I’m processing so much more information than a neurotypical person I’m constantly tired.
Well that and ADHD/ADD literally changes how your brain processes fatigue. I have NEVER had that feeling of "aahhhhh what a wonderful night's sleep!" until I got diagnosed and took my meds. Then my meds made me get 3-4 hours of sleep a night max where I become super hyper during the day then crash at night. I was told it changes or can completely erase your body's circadian rhythm.
*_Jonathan looks like the Walmart Check out employee that calls everyone "Sir" and "Ma'am" and wishes them a blessed day every time they pass by-_*
Favorite comment ever. - Jonathan
@@CinemaTherapyShow Hi😂
Omg yes
That actually IS half of my actual job! I work at store number 1641 as a customer host (door greeter/receipt checker at the center door). I also have ADHD.
How is this so true?!?
you should talk about family issues when there are no parents just siblings like in lilo and stitch and how one can be affected without a parent role modal
Or how one sibling has to grow up faster to support their younger siblings!
DUUUDEEE YES or Big hero 6 unless they already did that.
This is a good one
Yes causee i wanna write that in my story
YES PLEASE!!!!
Being told to "get out" anywhere can be extremely traumatizing. I used to work in a toxic job a few years ago and one day my boss yelled at me to get out of her office when I was trying to deliver a message that she had an important phone call on the line. To this day, I still feel upset when I hear that phrase and I keep having to remind myself that no one is saying it to me but it's still a challenge 😔
As an adult with ASD/ADHD and the elder child who went through my parents trying to learn how to raise a mentally messy child and all of this spoke to me and helped drive home why this is one of my favorite Christmas movies
The "*mistakes, not abuse" is what got me.
Me too, duder. Heck, me too.
"self diagnosed but I can do that" looooool the benefits of being a psych person ✌🏻✌🏻
i hope you mean licensed psychologist 😅
Anybody can do that when they read the DSM but not get the certification of it ;) But that was a funny comment
@@lesliea.6440 The DSM is sooooo vague. All of the criteria have such a huge range of possible interpretation that you could practically diagnose yourself with anything. Not only that, some of the terms mean different things for different disorders, or mean something different from what the meaning would be in common speech. Studying psychology and how each of those criteria actually show up in each disorder and how intensely they do is more useful than just reading the diagnostic criteria, which anyone can quickly google.
Also the drawback.
@@sierrafarnum9689 well... I can diagnose myself with almost everything ... 😂😂😂 But I know it's not how it works
I mean... You're right!
I have an adult son who is 26 years old with multiple disabilities including, intellectual disability, autism moderate, ADHD,. And tourette's. He was doing really well, however Since covid he has been steadily regressing and I'm very tired. I'm also so very glad I found this tonight. Hugs from a very tired but loving mom! Merry Christmas, and thank you again for this video, you have a new subscriber now!
God I wish I knew about my ADHD & Autism when I was a kid. I wasn’t a troublemaker or making bad grades, but socially every day was a nightmare.
It was hard for me to make friends on SO many levels, I was really sensitive to perceived criticism and frustration from others (even if it wasn’t really there) and being generally weird definitely didn’t do me any favors
I got the whole “gifted kid” label too, so the pressure to excel in everything was on from a very young age
But HEY knowing what’s up with my brain now is better than never finding out
SAAAAAAMEEEEE 🤝
And the phrases like "jUsT FoCuS" or "StOp BeInG sO sEnSiTiVe" used to piss me off so much
I feel you.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria plus not understanding the underlying social rules.
I love how the therapist says its seen as a bad thing but its not, its just another way of being. SO TRUE.
It's bad when you have to fit yourself into a neurotypical world, at least for me. Its mentally exhausting
@@plamondonworks6948 ADD is so prevalent it is essentially neurotypical. The problem arises when we expect children to sit still and focus for hours on end on a topic they don't like. School isn't designed for anyone, least of all someone who doesn't have force focus as an innate skill. When I got a job in as a pharm tech, the pharmacist looked at me working and said, "You're ADD." I said I wasn't. She said, "You are, we all are, it works here." I've never been diagnosed, it wasn't a thing when I was a kid and it doesn't matter as an adult. There's lots of jobs that require constant attention switching. Dispatchers, drivers, anything involving the word 'technician,' doctors, childcare workers, carpenters, mechanics... I hope you find a career that benefits from your ADD instead of being exhausting.
My parents always tell me to filter what I say, I try, but I just feel like people should know, my idea of filter is, no cuss words.
When I ask questions I don’t think they’re that inappropriate, I mean asking why your aunt always brings the dog with her when she could leave it at home with her children that are fully grown, since well the dog always acts so needy when she brings it over to our house, and my mom got upset? I mean that’s a pretty reasonable question, one that my mom has brought up, not to my aunt, for some reason.
@@adde9506 uh, no, I cant even focus on cleaning my house, keeping appointments, sitting still, taking turns talking. Where are you living where ADD behaviour is the norm because I need to move there lol being inattentive isnt the same as having actual add/adhd
I do have a job that fits for me. I'm an artist and self employed. My job isnt the exhausting part, for the most part, its socializing and time management. You sound like you are not being educated about actual ADHD and your business colleagues dont know what they're talking about. Flexibility in work settings is not the same as inability to focus, poor restraints skills/impulse control, and procrastination like is prevalent in people with ADHD. Its called a disorder for a reason. It has to hinder you to be a disorder lol
@@adde9506 ah. And for me as an adult... who struggles with adult life and adhd... what's your advice? .. we can't reduce adhd struggles to school and childhood.
I'm diagnosed as autistic and adhd, and this movie is what I was like as a kid with intense anxiety added. Having people talk so positively about neurodiversity really means so much!
"I was the kid that all the parents wanted their kid to date me"
Yeah, I felt that. The girls didn't like me, but the girls' parents did.
ADD is helpful as a nurse.... until it's time to sit down and chart 🤦♀️
I remeber those days, I was generally pretty good though.
In your defense, writing reports is torture regardless of your brain chemical balance.
My future 😐
Nurse tech here! I had a patient ask me if I was on something the other day because I have BUG EYES. I told her that I have ADHD and she was like ‘oh. That makes sense.’
Truth! I can pick up on so many things but sitting down to chart it all? Shoot.
You guys should talk about losing spouses in UP and how people isolate themselves
Or even black sheep in Arthur Christmas
Oh god up is so sad but so good 😭❤
@@MrsWoodthorp 2 excellent suggestions!
Yes!!
Good suggestion but I can only handle one Pixar movie a year lol.
My little brother is an adhd kid who loves to push boundaries. When I was one of his main caretakers there were times I said some MEAN things out of anger and it still makes me emotional. Raising kids can really bring out your ugly side. Meanwhile the kids themselves are so pure and wholesome ☹️ I know he probably doesn’t even think about it but I do feel so bad
My son has ADHD and also always very happy. EVERYONE (adults usually) who interacted with him it was the first thing they said was how engaging and "sweet" he was. However when he was elementary school age it was a lot like having a 6 month old St Bernard puppy... deliriously happy to be ANYWHERE and with ANYONE and blithely obtuse about his effects on the world as he wanders through life (or into oncoming traffic). At 14 years old he was still this way and I had serious concerns about doing driver's ed.
At 15 years old his older (and more popular) sister took him in hand and helped him become much more "situationally aware". I don't know exactly what magic she worked but I still have the same amazingly sweet kid but he no longer is blindly wandering through life. He's driving well too.
He's still a kid and still forgets often but he made the same kind of progress as Will Ferrell by the end of the movie.
He's actually has the most severe ADHD but seems to be the best adjusted of my kids.
I’m so glad things worked out❤❤❤❤❤ I’M proud of your son and daughter and I don’t even know them
THANK YOU for that “mistakes, not abuse” addendum. As someone with an abusive mother who catches flack from family and strangers alike for going no contact (or as low contact as I can), it is GREATLY appreciated.
Mistakes are forgivable. Abuse isn’t necessarily.
There's a world of difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive people, but sometimes you gotta let them go.
@@bluenuttefly8813 I agree. Sometimes you literally have to walk away. Thankfully my mother moved away. I still had the phonecalls to endure now and again but I gritted my teeth and outlasted her (knew she was dying). Cold perhaps? But I never shed a tear when she died, I just felt relief and freedom. It's best if we can get the freedom earlier while they're still living, if we can. Power to you for saving yourself the best way you know how. Follow your gut. It will lead you right.
I also thank for that tid bit cause I have an abusive Dad
I had to go the no contact way with my whole family. They were abuser and if one of them hadn't died he would have been arrested. A lot of people look judgmental when they find out but most of them don't understand what it is like to learn how to survive as a child and that you protect yourself by leaving
No one should have to reconcile or forgive a shitty and/or abusive parent. If they want to do so for themselves, that’s fine, but they are in no way obligated.
i was SO scared for this video as a person with adhd, its so typically misunderstood. but then i heard y'all use the term "attention mismanagement" and i was sO relieved
Yeah only finding out about this myself after struggling with school my whole life. 22 and just now finding out Im not just an irresponsible person.. there's something going on that makes it SPECIFICALLY hard for me to manage my time and focus and completing tasks.
@@Dynoids thankfully i put it together pretty early on, doesn't make it any less difficult to get help though! just having adhd in a capitalist society things :')
I wanted to use me too. But then was like... lets go with same here :)
I like this tooo I have asd or attention sensory management idk just going with it.
Anyone else how has Aspergers or autism?
Big thanks for saying “it’s not an attention deficit disorder, it’s an attention management disorder” because more people need to understand that. The number of times my husband and mother have been told they “can’t be ADHD! You focus in on ::insert subject they are known to hyper focus on here:: all the time” is ridiculously high and always reminds me of how little people understand the intricacies of the ADHD brain.
Intention Management Disorder is better - because it's not just attention issues - it's motivation issues and issues with executive function
I don't experience hyperfocus too often and after reading these comments, I feel left out lol. Maybe one to three times a week if I'm lucky? It sucks because when I do hyperfocus, I'm unstoppable and it feels great when whatever I'm doing happens to be productive.
As someone diagnosed with severe ADHD since a young age, there is SOOOO much I want to say, but I know you both are busy, so I’ll keep it brief: thank you. For this episode, for all of the other episodes, and for the impact you make on your viewers lives; from the bottom of my easily distracted heart, THANK YOU!!
cannot agree more ! (especially the easily distracted heart part)
No wonder he's a relatable protagonist.
"Some become more aware of 'am I inconveniencing my parent?'" Me with anxiety: I'm actually, president of the company
No exactly 😭
My anxiety: you are such a burden, no one wants you around, you need to stop being this way
My depression: I’m the worst, I will always be the worst, there’s nothing I can do
😂
That is me in a nutshell 😂😭
Same tho
Just one correction on ADHD/ADD. The issue is that there is not enough stimulation. The brain is STARVED for it. This is why hyper-focus is a thing and why stimulants help. They give the brain the stimulation that it lacks so that it doesn't have to work so hard searching for it.
Hence the regulation of attention is aided by stimulatory aids, including not just medication, but also fidget spinners or low maintenance games on the phone.
I didn't get diagnosed until I was in my adult years. I also have hyperactivity that is internal instead of external, so I wasn't as obvious to others with my issues.
I also have autism as well which isn't uncommon for the two to be present.
My hyperactivity is also internal!
My hyperactivity is both internal and external. Rip lol
It's more than that. You have to get the stimulation just right. Too little? BOREDOM HELL! Too much? CANT FOCUS IN NOISY HELL!
The "shutting other things out" ADD rant just sat with me so much. I'm in a job where I work with people, and something I've learned over time is that I genuinely love working with people. I'd love to be a trainer someday (like my whole job title, not just part of my job, because it is 100% my favorite part of the job), but that doesn't stop me from experiencing overstimulation. Auditory things are especially difficult for me. We had a teambuilding exercise recently that involved doing a 3 hour activity in the evening. Now, I like my coworkers and the activity didn't bore me as a concept...but it was after a full work day. I had been what I refer to as "manually" sorting out all auditory input all day long in a relatively social environment, for ~8.5 hours. Then I went to another very auditory-heavy environment where I was expected to continue behaving in a neurotypical manner. There was a craft element involved, so I let myself hyper-focus on that and was quiet for a bit, which helped prevent the ramp-up from being worse than it was, but at some point the instructor asked us to do/help with something and I just stood there doe-eyed because I literally could not process what was being said. It wasn't until my boss said something along the lines of "oh I'll just do it" that I even put together context clues. I didn't get home until after the household had gone to sleep and then I stared at a wall for several hours while waiting for my brain to wind down enough to sleep. It took until 3am. The next day I rolled out of bed and went right back into work and promptly had a panic attack that was so bad I got sent home. Which is probably the first time ever my mental health has manifested in front of my coworkers beyond me making the occasional "I'm having a bad brain day, but I'll make it through" comment. (and then someone came in and was hanging our curtains at home and using a drill and I almost broke down in tears again and had to force myself to sleep until they left...thankfully I could sleep, since I was so sleep deprived.
(I do want to emphasize that this is highly unusual even for my work, we do teambuilding like 2/year, it's generally a fun activity, and I really like my job. In general, I have really good coping mechanisms, but that much auditory input with no breaks is just no bueno for me no matter what coping mechanisms I have)
I work in a retail store that played no music for the first long period of time I was there. It was heavenly. A few years ago, they added music and it drives me bananas. My bosses and co-workers love it, but I use one earbud to listen to other stuff like a lecture and tune out the crappy music or I'll just have a panic attack from overstimulation. I've had one so far. I get in trouble with a few of them but most of the other bosses just let me go, thankfully.
My younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade, and I watched the light go out of him as my parents did the best they knew how in the 80's & 90's - which was suppression and serious medication. (I am not anti-meds, but the combination wasn't good for him.) I decided that if I ever had an ADHD kid, I would try another route.
Decades later, my youngest is very ADHD. In 3rd grade, the light started going out of her when her peers had no problem adjusting to longer periods of sitting still in the classroom and she struggled. She started accepting the label of "troublemaker" and this very bright child had slipping grades. We decided to try homeschooling before looking into suppression and meds. That was 3 years ago. She is thriving. She loves being able to move at her pace with academics (which is actually pretty accelerated). She loves being able to take breaks and jump on the trampoline. She tends to also feel grounded snuggled up against me. We are learning together what works best for her, and she's growing into being an amazing artist and musician. The biggest thing for her has been acknowledging that she experiences the world differently than many of her peers, but that it's okay. The world absolutely needs her unique perspective too.
I know this isn't the answer for every child with ADHD. Every family has to find what works best for them. But I will say that as challenging as it is to parent a child with ADHD, it's also been an incredible gift. I'm so glad she's ours!!
Thank you so much for acknowledging the good and wonderful things ADHD and ADD kids bring to this world!
So great you could support your daughter this way! 🥰 I’m a teacher and I see that a one-size-fits-all classroom does not fit the neurodiverse kids... we try our best, but it oftentimes just isn’t enough.
Thanks for what you do!
It seems a bit strange to me, that there would be "suppression" meds used? what are those? The first line meds are stimulant in a vast majority of cases. They really dont supress anything, they stimulate the brain more, so it can pay attention to its own dopamine. But im glad your method is working for you well, just keep in mind, that its ok if it doesnt work forever. ADHD can present a person with trouble at any stage of life and as one gets older and their responsibilites rise, it can lead to more serious roadblocks. Cheers and good luck.,
@@psychepeteschannel5500 I may be wrong, but by "suppression," I think she meant suppressing unwanted behavior through normal means (i.e., scolding, trying to teach the child to behave, etc.), which is something that definitely won't be effective for someone with ADHD.
@@vicmorgana5516 Oh yeah, I dont understand how I missed it... its "supression AND meds", not supression meds. You are totally right, thanks. :-)
Honestly, thank you. My parent’s solution was that since they had seen the effects of suppression and meds in the 80s and 90s, they just pretended that I was normal. I basically ended up hating myself for years and I’ve only just started to heal from a lifetime of believing that I was worthless and that I would never succeed. I don’t know how I feel about medication for younger kids, but ADHD meds have done wonders for me. I remember my first day in my meds, I took them, fell asleep, woke up, and my brain was just... quiet. Not in a bad way, but compared to how it used to be, everything use to feel like there was that old tv static over everything I perceived. I don’t know if that makes any sense
“Ladies 😏😏😏”
“No, don’t do that!”
“GENTLEMEN 😏😏😏”
😅😂🤣 that part made me fall out lol you guys are hilarious!
I read this comment as that part came up and I lost it 😂😂😂😂 the way he points at his ring too like "please, don't get me into trouble" lol so wholesome
2:59
Lol I laughed out loud !! 😂💜
*2:58*
My cousin has ASHD and is now the head chef at a five star restaurant in Las Vegas. The ability to take in massive amounts of information in short amounts of time greatly helps him in that field!
I couldn't love this more! Having an ADHD kiddo can be super duper trying & frustrating but it's also deeply moving, joyful and inspiring. I'm in constant awe of my son - he is sunshine personified ❤
God bless the person who captioned Peter Dinklage's character as "Tyrion Lannister."
😂
Hahahaha I went to the comments to see if anyone noticed
I had to go back and rewatch the entire video so I could see for myself. 21 minutes well spent 😂
I didn't even notice 🤣🤣🤣
Fun fact: Peter Dinklage almost turned down the role in Elf because he doesn't like those sort of little people exploitative roles, but he changed his mind when he heard he would get to beat up Will Farrel for calling him an elf.
"I can connect them this way!"
"You can't"
Reminds me of that meme that goes "I have connected the dots"
"You connected nothing"
"I connected them"
That's from Buzzfeed's Unsolved and I think of that scene a lot in relation to my own ADHD haha
Shane and Ryan lol
As an adult who wasn't diagnosed until last year (aged 22) with combined type ADHD and emotional lability, I honestly cannot express how difficult it was for me to convey what was going on in my head and trying to tell people it's not my anxiety, it's not my depression, something else is going on with me and I need help. Acceptance and understanding would have gone a long way for me. I'm only now understanding why my brain works the way it does, but it's had a huge effect on my relationships and employment. But what I feel was the biggest problem for me getting diagnosed was the fact doctors weren't willing to investigate further. The blame was placed on my anxiety and/or depression and that was it. So hearing you guys explaining what it's been like for you, and the misconceptions surrounding ADD/ADHD made me feel...normal. Like there's not something wrong with me, I'm just wired differently. Thank you so much.
I am not diagnosed with ADHD but I plan to get tested for it. Lol But anyway, I was JUST LIKE BUDDY as a kid, especially at the doctors, my parents would say that every time we watch the movie! 😂😂
Not enough credit is given to the actors who work with Will Ferrell! James Conn did a stellar job staying straight.
I did wonder how James Caan responded to Will Farrell. I remember learning that Tommy Lee Jones didn't like working with Jim Carrey, because of his craziness on Batman Forever.
In the doctor's office scene, you actually see Caan try not to smile and stifle laughter when Buddy gets stuck for the blood test. Makes the scene better, in my opinion.
I can not for the life of me figure out if you meant stay straight or keep a straight face
@@castlewoods4680: Both?
@@owlishgamer2937 yep! apparently will ferrell improvised the scream lmao
“The girls didn’t love me but their parents all wanted them to date me”
MOOOOOD
Had this in my "watch later" list FOREVER; wish I would have watched earlier! I should watch this EVERY DAY to remind me how great my ADHD son is! He is 100% Buddy!
My child has been diagnosed with ODD and is currently being evaluated for ADHD. I am newly diagnosed with ADHD so it’s been quite a journey! This video really opened my eyes to my child. In the beginning I saw it as a hinderance to her growth. Now I understand it’s a “different way of being” and there’s nothing wrong.
“Ladies”
“No-no I have a ring”
“Gentlemen”
I died laughing X’D
I feel like when a child gets diagnosed with ADHD, their parents should be prescribed therapy. Speaking as a 20-something who was first diagnosed over 2 decades ago, a lot of parents can really mess up their kids because they aren't equipped to handle a child with ADHD. My parents even in my teens were vocal about mental health advocacy but were blind to the double standard they had held me to my entire life. ADHD isn't just being hyper, and 'oooh shiny.' Its problems regulating emotions and problems with executive function. Especially if the kid isn't medicated and isn't taught coping mechanisms, it can seem like the child is willfully being difficult.
I think most parents wouldn't consider themselves to be the type to harbor resentment towards their 7-year-old, especially not for years, but when you aren't prepared for the challenges that a child with ADHD will pose, you can get overwhelmed and the damage to your subconscious view of your child might not ever recover. And then if you treat the 7-year-old like they are a bad kid and like everything that bugs you about them they do on purpose, well then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because kids are smarter than they're given credit for. They can pick up on the fact that their parents really don't like them sometimes. So they become bitter and resentful too; they're still "too much," "too loud," "too active," "too wild," "too passionate," "too rough," but now also they might feel angry and shameful and persecuted. Even if they can't articulate those feelings yet. And maybe they lash outward, and the parents get to add fun things like "argumentative" "short-tempered" or "angry" to their long list of shortcomings. Or maybe they channel it inward and develop deep self-loathing and insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.
And to make it even worse, these same parents might not see it at all. They might think they succeeded in keeping their frustration bottled up, and truly believe they have no fault in the anger or self-loathing that these kids develop. They tried their best and love their kid and that means they couldn't have possibly messed them up.
Very well said
Agreed 100%. I have ADHD. I know the struggle!
Exactly this
Yes totally my mom doesn’t really doesn’t understand me and it has caused multiple arguments so yeah I definitely think that therapy for parents would be extremely helpful for parents and their children
@@Sleepy_on_the_moon it shouldn’t be all on you, but the earlier you can learn emotional regulation coping mechanisms the better. I feel as a whole we are so under-informed on the emotional side of ADHD and so often it’s not until much later that we learn to cope with that aspect. I’ve always been “argumentative,” but I’ve been working on it and learning to regulate and deescalate and become mindful of it in the moment.
Except when it comes to my mother, with her it’s like I’m 17 years old and the only way to communicate is to fight. Arguing and my mom are concepts that are so deeply ingrained with each other, I slip back in whenever I’m around her. Back to the “parent of children with ADHD should have therapy” thing, if my mom and I both were informed of emotional dysregulation when I was 5 years old and first diagnosed, it could have changed so much. Not only could I have worked on building my coping mechanisms related to emotions from the start, but maybe having a licensed professional tell her the things my chemical imbalance might cause us to experience, before she had to experience it first hand for years with no apparent cause to pin it to, might have helped her foster more empathy for my behavior. And therapy could have helped her develop her own coping mechanisms so that yelling didn’t have to seem like the only option.
This brought tears to my eyes as your words were an encouragement to me after raising our oldest daughter who is now 28 years old and married, but we struggled so much to support her and encoourge her, but thinking we failed in so many ways. Thank you for your words.
I am sure that you did great. Having kids with ADHD is difficult and they don’t come with an instruction manual. I have two of them myself and often feel like we are totally failing them. I think that is just what normal, caring parents feel, though.
I have ADHD and Autism, honestly, I am so happy to hear you guys talk about this.
Jonathan: "But now I have chest hair!"
Alan: "Ladies!!"
Jonathan: (points at wedding ring) "Don't say that, I don't want them clamoring..."
Alan: "Gentlemen!!"
😂😂😂
"No, I just have a chemical imbalance."
I need a GIF of this. For reasons.
Thank you Alan!
If someone can link me to it, that'll be great.
Ive always grown up relating heavily to Buddy, especially with my fixation on christmas that i inherited from my very festive mother. Imagine my surprise when i, now 23, am working on getting an ADHD diagnosis!
The way my parents delt with my ADHD was, they kicked me out of school and put me into a boot camp. Oh so loving, I've turned out so great. I'm depressed and have constant stress, anger, and anxiety... I hate everything, if not for my few best friends I'd be dead.
I'm from a country that doesn't have Boot Camp please explain.
My parents used to tell me that if a shook a coffee creamer long enough i could turn it into butter.
This kept me sitting and occupied at every restorant outing ever til i was 12
That's brilliant!!
I'm 100% stealing this idea.
That's true. If you shake cream really hard for a few minutes it turns into butter.
@@blue-tx4jm cream and creamer are not the same, though.
We need a breakdown and understanding of Thor in Avengers Endgame. Watching a mountain of a man pile himself in doubt and grief broke me.
Thor's depression was fucking incredible.
@@LizLuvsCupcakes incredibly sad, tragic, and, with hindsight/insight, hits right in the gut and heart/chest
I love that at the end of this movie, we don’t see Buddy change who he is. Sure, maybe he’s working on being a bit more self-aware, but he still has the ADHD tendencies and childhood innocence that makes Buddy himself. Even better, we see the skills he has put to use (such as him being the only one capable of fixing the sleigh), and the characters who wronged him (like his dad) apologize for treating him badly, and actually accept him for who he is, shiny-object-tunnel-vision and all. Having watched this as a kid, I can’t even begin to say how impactful this was for me, to watch someone like me not have to change to be valued and accepted as a member of society. Overall, great movie, awesome messaging! So glad you guys reacted to it.
I just realized you guy's only have 1 million subscribers. Not that that isn't impressive, it definitely it, but there's so much effort put into these videos. You guys have a whole team. What I'm saying is that you guys are SERIOUSLY underrated. Your videos deserve so much more recognition.
Thank you, that means a lot!
Elf childhoods are longer than humans’s because they live longer. That’s why Buddy is still childish
No not really
@@littlefox_100 Haha um yes really. Papa elf is hundreds of years old
But Buddy's actually a human.
@@chiarardn2401 I know, that's my entire point. While elves age slower, they're still in childhood after 30 years while Buddy, a human, would be an adult; but that's why he's still childish
@@chiarardn2401 r/woooooooooooooooosh DUDE. READ THE COMMENT AGAIN. SLOWLY.
Ugh, I love how they clarified that you can forgive mistakes, not abuse
I appreciate the last message of letting ADHD kids shine in their enthusiasm. I have an interesting Family dynamic with my parents where I become a black sheep sometimes because of my ADHD. More so with my mom who constantly tries to suppress my noisy hyperactive excitement for things. It might be a little bit culture related as her culture values quiet obedient children and being ADHD is basically the opposite. I never really intentionally try to cause trouble either so it still kinda impacts my confidence sometimes to this day.
Are you Asian?
ADHD and Autism have a lot of comorbidity (and both are largely genetic)- and sensory issues are common in autistic folks.
I'm ADHD (largely inattentive type)/Autistic and generally sensory avoidant. My son is ADHD (hyperactive) /Autistic and sensory seeking. Your mother may just be way more sensitive to noise/etc than you are - and that's really hard.
as my mom can attest, raising a kid with ADHD (well and ASD) is a pain, stressful, scary as all hell, and somehow still completely worth it
When they said "kids are so forgiving" I cried because adult expect them(me) to keep forgiving after they say 'sorry i love you' and if we don't we're bad and should be shame of ourself
Oh yes adults can try to force forgiving on kids and that's so wrong and yet they guilt you out for it. I remember. Never feel shame. Be proud of who you are, unique and valuable and there's many more just like you and power to you! (and yeah, saying sorry but keeping doing bad stuff--that's malarky! You don't have to forgive, it should never ever be forced, ever.)
Saruda PPH, and that in itself is abuse. My ex did that to my kids until they had enough and decided to only live with me.
They are trying to put good manners in but the way is really bad but I’m sure they’re still trying their best so try to talk to them
@@allmight8155 I got assaulted in return, do you think I won't try talking? Lol, my innocent baby brain thought they just want the best for me too
@@drendraleigh4722 you did not tell me that and plus it was just a suggestion..
me with ADHD never knowing my favorite Christmas character had ADHD ?):?:?? NOW I KNOW WHY I RELATED SO MUCH !!!
SAME
AuDHD here and I identify with Buddy so much! He really is a neurodivergent icon ❤️🙌🏻
My husband has a strong dislike of Christmas (too many years of family drama) but Elf is the one Christmas movie he gets excited about. I think he relates to Buddy, having ADHD himself that has caused him social problems and given him a helpful perspective in life.
My dad and I both have ADD/ADHD. Something that we often say is “I know this seems off-topic, but, trust me, in my head it totally connects.” How we go from talking about narwhals to cheese in a split-second is beyond most people, but it makes perfect sense to us.
Wait why is this me. I always have like five convos at once and i go "WAIT WAIT OFF TOPIC BUT (talks about the history of cgi)" during a conversation about buying soup
From Alan's ADD Rant: "When someone has ADD like I do -- clinical, very strong ADD -- you can't shut other things out. Most people can just, like, focus on a thing, right? And just kinda like, 'Oh, there's noise, I can just kind of block that out.' And that part of the brain -- there's a chemical imbalance and it doesn't function properly, so everything gets in."
Jon a minute or so later: "A lot of times, people see it as a -- I mean, it's got 'disorder' in the name, so it's pathologized and it's seen as a negative, but the fact is it's simply another way of being. It's another way of functioning. It's another way of thinking. And studies have shown that people who are diagnosed ADD actually excel in certain fields way better than a lot of other people, including filmmaker and therapist."
Alan: "Yeah, creative disciplines, it's very helpful because you make a lot of creative connections that other people wouldn't make because your brain is constantly, like, ping-ponging off of all kinds of stuff and you go 'This and this, I can connect them this way!' and a normal human goes 'You can't, but you did. Interesting. You must be creative.' And it's like, 'No, I have a chemical imbalance." :3
I quoted those whole entire bits of the video in this comment because I found them super-duper relatable, and I don't even have an ADD diagnosis. I do, however, have an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. So, in my case, being unable to block out random sensory input is because of the sensory processing issues that come with ASD rather than having difficulty focusing on on a thing, and the creative connections thing is more because I tend to look at the world in different ways than neurotypical people do, not necessarily because my brain is ping-ponging off of all kinds of stuff. I can relate to noticing random details that most people overlook and to making creative connections that nobody around me thought of because the end results are kind of similar even though they happen for different reasons.
I’m autistic and ADHD, & there’s a reason the conditions are called “cousins” to each other in the Autistic community
There are a lot of similar symptoms between the two. To add to this connection, fragile x disorder is comorbid with both adhd and autism. It is highly likely that there is a connection between autism and ADHD, and it likely has to do with neurotransmitters. Specifically, the neurotransmitter glutamate. But there is very little research done on that topic so I digress.
@@jordan-wb2hb Eyy same.
I like to compare being neurodivergent to running Linux as your OS. Most people run Windows, so most software is built for Windows, and won't be compatible with Linux systems unless you do some sort of workaround. Most societal systems are the same way - built for neurotypical brains, not really compatible with our brain configurations and so we gotta find workarounds. Linux computers aren't by any means worse than Windows computers. In fact, they work better in a lot of ways. They just work _differently._ Neurodivergecies such as ours, especially high-functioning ones, aren't really disabilities in and of themselves, but become _like_ disabilities due to societal circumstance.
Both conditions run in my family. They are closely related.
Thank you for writing this!
Growing up my parents were honestly awesome with handling my ADHD, my dad worked hard with my educators to help me get through and succeed. They worked hard to find what worked for me. At the beginning, most adults involved didn’t think I would make it to collage. But now I’m in university getting a degree. Embrace it and be yourself even when the world isn’t quite ready for your style yet.
Thank you so much for making this video. I can barely watch Elf because it's so triggering for me. And now I know why. I remember being like that as a kid and trying to interact with the outside world and if was very traumatic. I'm in therapy now as an adult. Thank you so much for making this.
I never even thought about Buddy having ADHD its so obvious now haha
ADHD GANG
Eeeyyyy ADHD gang for life!!
yes very fun disorder sometimes haha. Does make work annoying tho
@@gen2mediainc.577 I wouldn’t call my crippling adhd fun but maybe it is for you. Adhd isn’t a joke for some people
Adhd gang me too yaa
I built I hole is bad in 12 hours 10 thousand wide and long this is some how realted
As an ADHD adult having been an ADHD kid... this made me feel so bad for my mom. And THANK you for mentioning that it's a neurological chemical imbalance and not "too much sugar" or "bad parenting". And it's even harder for a young girl to get a proper diagnosis because we do exhibit the symptoms differently (in general...)
yea im trying to get myself diagnosed at the age of 25...
@@bennyton2560 Keep working at it, do not be dissuaded, and try to find a psychiatrist with experience in diagnosing adults if possible. They will be able to perform the appropriate battery of tests to give you a formal, documented (make sure to keep a copy!!) diagnosis that you can carry with you to whatever doctor/therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist you visit in the future for treatment.
Agreed on the thing about girls not getting diagnosed, people assume we're just on our period or is just being a moody teenager.
I have ADD and I'm so glad that I got diagnosed when I did.
(ADD is now called ADHD, but there is a difference, it's the same symptoms, but both are called ADHD. I think because ADD isn't considered the correct term anymore, I'm not sure why.)
@@facelesscat1138 Well that's probably because ADD pertains to certain ppl who still experience ADHD symptoms without the high energy level due to hyperactivity... They're just more inattentive.
@@bennyton2560 Just keep trying. 25 really isn't that late in life. I'm about to be 33 and just now got my diagnosis.
I usually am hero-worshipping Jon in these videos, but this time...THANK YOU ALAN. Tho Jonno chimes in great comments as well.
I'm not attention deficient, I'm FOCOS deficient! I'm overly attentive, TOO attentive! You two are both speaking my language. Bless you.
Our pleasure!
When John talked about how to repair it got me tight in the heart. I’m not a parent but as an early childhood educator I spend a lot of time with my students. Occasionally I will ask them if we both need a break or ask tell them I need a small break. I make sure the kids know I care about them but need personal space and a moment alone. My parents never approached their breaks in a positive way. It was always “go outside” or “go to your room” and just sent me away with no explanation. I don’t want my students to feel confused, hurt or rejected so I make an effort to show them respect. I’m human though an occasionally I’m short with them, knowing that I can apologize and repair that connection is essential.
When I was a little little kid, I was diagnosed with ADD but because at the time, my family treated mental illnesses as if it inherently meant something was wrong with you, it was super suppressed, I took myself off of the medication (as like a first grader), and we convinced ourselves that it was a misdiagnosis. They’d say “how could she have ADD? She’s way too smart! You’re just not stimulating her enough!” and I went on with my life, even knowing that something still always felt a bit off for me.
Flash forward years and years later, I’m now nearly 23 and just graduated undergrad in the spring. I am someone who has been officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression (with an emphasized problem with severe perfectionism), and I found myself finding and relating to ADD and ADHD memes to such a degree that I had to question again, was it really a misdiagnosis?
When I FINALLY got diagnosed officially with depression and anxiety in my SENIOR year of undergrad, I was able to fully recontextualize why so many things happened the way that they did and felt the way that they did as me and my therapist went back through *years* of experiences. (Though I will say that I was already quite convinced I had that diagnosis for maybe 3 years at that point, I was still too afraid to go to a therapist and im very glad that I finally did). But it still felt like a puzzle piece was still missing.
As I was questioning it quietly and in private (because though my family is now better with acknowledging that mental health is a thing that we need to pay attention to, they still often don’t like to point things out even though I am someone who feels the need to give things names so I know how to treat them and handle them better in my own life.) I ran into this video and it all finally felt like it clicked.
Why I struggle to hear what people are saying in a loud environment unless they’re looking right at me because I can’t filter out background noise.
Why I can’t read something if someone is talking to me or if there’s words in my music and I’ll forget everything I just read thanks to a stray thought.
Why I can get excited about something so drastically and so suddenly that it startles people and sometimes even puts them off.
Why I can plan and plan and plan and make so many lists and schedules to set new routines and still struggle to keep anything clean and consistent, as if it is always a conscious effort to do so no matter how hard I try.
Why when I was sat down in high school and asked what I wanted to do with my life while i was being pushed so heavily towards science and mathematics because I was good at it despite having more passion and effort poured into art, music, and creativity - I honest to god felt like it was a matter of life and death. I felt like if I couldn’t do something that I was passionate about, that if I was forced into a profession for something that couldn’t hold my interests, I would rather die. I knew that, but I didn’t know WHY. And because of the privilege I have and having so many people tell me they just couldn’t understand WHY I was so afraid and adamant about that issue, I shut it in and didn’t tell anyone about it for along time before fully BREAKING DOWN and realizing I HAD TO DO SOMETHING WITHIN PASSIONS yet still ended up being forced into a COMPROMISE.
And the only reason why I made it to where I am now is because I fought, I had multiple majors and minors, I filled every second of my time with work to the point of sleep deprivation, I pulled myself into the path I wanted while being dragged by the compromises I was forced to carry. And people still didn’t understand why I was so desperate to reach the creative outlet I was reaching for if it meant I had to carry so much.
Now I’m here. A grad in game design, spending every waking moment working with art and creativity, topping grades in my classes and pouring my heart and soul into everything without that feeling of burden. I’ve never felt happier or more passionate with what I do.
And I finally understand WHY that fight was so desperate for me, why I struggled to focus and hold interest when so many people told me to get over it. It wasn’t a misdiagnosis, it was a seed of passion begging to drive me forward despite being shoved down as something wrong by me and everyone around me. But now, even if it makes me a bit of a hyper goof, it’s an advantage, there’s nothing wrong with me, and I am so excited to go forward acknowledging this part of me that I’ve denied for so many years. I may not be able to get an official rediagnosis for it because of the times that we’re in but...
I have ADD. I am a hyper being of passion with a bizarre but honest chemical imbalance soup of a brain. I am excited for my creative future driven by passion. I am me, and I am happy. Thank you for helping me admit that ❤️
Edit Nov. 2022 : every once in a while, I come back and read this message to see how far I’ve come with understanding how my mind and body works and working with it instead of against it. And I just wanted to add that I read every reply every time and I am so immensely happy that sharing my story has resonated with and helped others :) for that reason alone, this is my favorite post that I’ve ever made. Also I am officially diagnosed now (technically again haha) ^-^ and while the struggles are still very real, I just want to say, especially to those still trying to figure themselves out, that it does get better ❤️ may everyone’s stories here continue to help others for so long as they remain.
Thank you so much for sharing all these conclusions, Coraline. I understand so many of them. You've given me much to think about. Thank you again for sharing! :D
YES! AWESOME!
I can related to you Coraline 100%. Even your life sounds kinda familiar to mine, altought i am in the middle of the shift into what i am really passionated about and still struggeling with my depression. Reading your comment made me smile so much and gave me back some of my power i lost due to my depression and years of beeing undiagnosed and feeling wrong. So thank you so mich for sharing ❤️
Feels. I've had a similar reaction from my mother with "how could you have this?"
I can relate so much, too! And it's so sad that for most people with ADHD and ADD it seems to be combined depression and anxiety as if those go in a set. And an OCD as well, quite often. And there is one more thing - the tendency to be extremely apologetic. I like myself in general and lead a very good life, but somehow ever since my childhood I feel this NEED to always be sorry to be someone uncomfortable for others.
When Alan said he "had to go to one of him" fro a diagnosis, I just pictured like 3 exact replicas of Jonathan. All therapists are John in disguise.
Almost all of my favorite people have ADHD, and I myself am Autistic. Thank you for talking about neurodivergence, and especially in a way that is affirming and doesn't see it as a disorder. I'd love to hear you guys talk about ASD (particularly what was formerly known as Aspergers) in one of your episodes ... there are so many characters that I think are Autistic (at least in my head-cannon).
My mom is a teacher now, but when I was a kid she was going to college. She’s said multiple times and whenever she gets on the subject of teaching that being my parent and learning about and knowing about adhd made her a better teacher.