come back next week for a truly moving episode, *I spent a day with people w/ TERMINAL ILLNESSES*. 🎙NEW PODCAST: Spotify ▸ open.spotify.com/show/5aOLuPenneHbhLh05fmkeu Apple ▸ podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-spent-a-day-with/id1550213250
There's SO MANY actual adjectives people can use instead of diluting the severity of mental disorders and making them seem like quirky character traits.
AAAH IKR I felt for ppl with ocd when it was “uukg my ocd is so bad right now look I made this line of pens straight” was a trend it’s kinda similar like shush, moron
Fuck, same. I remember once in gym class, this girl was dancing around and being extremely hyper while talking about how "I've got bad ADHD" and I just walked past her and said, "I have ADHD too, and it's ruining my life" before speeding up and walking away.
One time I was struggling with my adhd in class and I was talking about it to some girl and I forgot that she acts like a hypochondriac and she literally said "lowkey think I might have adhd bc yesterday it took me a solid 15 minutes to start my hw"😐
What people think ADHD is like: “man... my adhd is so bad... oh! A squirrel!” What it’s actually like: *ive read this page 5 times and I still haven’t grasped the concept*
That is literally me this year ffs, my parents keep telling me I have potential and I'm only getting lower grades cause I'm wasting it and don't give a f**k. Which isn't true, but what's the point in arguing if they never listen, right?
I have inattentive ADHD and always wondered why I’m always so forgetful, clumsy, spacey, disorganized and couldn’t concentrate/focus on anything that didn’t interest me and daydreaming all the time. I thought I was just lazy, dumb or something is wrong with me but I was diagnosed not long ago and started taking medication for it. No one thought I had it cause I was a quiet and well behaved girl in class and people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can’t keep still in a classroom.
"people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can't sit still in a classroom" omg this is so true. thats literally the reason why my ADHD has been swept under the rug for so long lmfao, bc im too "well-behaved" 😭 the amount of times id ever bring up my struggles and constantly hear "no i dont see it" just shows how many stereotypes there are to this and how symptoms reflect differently for different people
I’m diagnosed and I still think something’s wrong with me sometimes, even though I know what it is, which makes no sense. I tried medication and didn’t like the side effects of any of them, so idk what to do at this point.
That is a shitty feeling. About 25-30 is when it set in for me. Many of us "gifted" students were set up for failure in real life. I'm 41 and it still bothers me. Especially having to go on disability.
This is me everyday of the past 21 years of my life. I'm so terrified that I'm not going to reach my potential, because that's the only thing that has kept me motivated whenever I was in tears because I couldn't do my homework or was basically called dumb by teacher after teacher. And now that I'm older and it's a lot harder to keep up with others my age that fear is intense.
Ugh that is such a good point. When that was first brought up in the video I was admittedly a little confused about why being told you have potential is such a bad thing. Cause for me during high school it felt really motivating! Until it didn’t... and now it’s just become this fear and this pressure.
Same. I've always been a gifted child until I got in highschool (I'm in my second year in hs), things got ten times harder and I failed every single one of my classes. I saw the disappointment in everyone's faces and in everyone's words, it's the worst nightmare. Thanks to this I got my diagnosis though, things aren't great but they're better at least
@@BennuSauce Omgggggg I relate to that so much. Up until high school, I never struggled in school. Straight A's. Was able to focus in class. Then all of a sudden!!! around 2nd year of high school!!! everything started falling apart. My grades plummeted. I just felt like I was drowning. It sucked because I knew what I wanted to do and I knew what my goals and values were but it was like I couldn't act on them. The thing that turned everything around for me admittedly was taking Adderall. I was SUPER against taking meds for the longest time and it felt like admitting defeat. But then halfway through senior year I finally gave in and it helped SO much. I was worried I wouldn't feel like myself but it was actually the opposite and I felt like myself for the first time in my life. Jessica's glasses analogy was spot on for me. Meds aren't for everyone but I just wanted to share my story since I know there's a lot of stigma attached. I'm glad things are improving for you!! and I'm so sorry that it took such a negative turn in the first place :( it really really really sucks. Hope things continue to get better!!
what people think adhd is: *omg i can’t sit down, i just have to fidget. oh a squirrel!* what adhd actually is: *i have been listening to this person repeat themselves over and over and i still can’t focus enough to process what they’re saying*
@@lillyfrancisco6023 bc of my adhd, im slow. like my reflexes and my ability to process. bc my brain takes an extra few seconds to process what im hearing or what’s going on
@@gorillaz100 yes, most of the symptoms of adhd are normal life problems for regular people. they’re just enhanced for us because it’s a disorder in the brain
This is literally me, and one of the reasons I'm getting tested for ADHD lol I zone out so bad that I can literally be staring at a person that is talking to me and only me, but I'm busy doing literally nothing and the words go straight over my head
My partner has ADHD and it's something I really love about him. He sees the world in such an energetic way and has such dynamism flowing through him. He can be around anyone and has such a keen interest in life. He does have hyperfocus and burnout and so these are things I can help remind him about to regulate him. He brings so much sunshine to our world ❤
I CAN quite connect with YOUR commentary. In my own case, it was a different story. I recently lost the love of my life because my impulsivity and lack of inhibition led me to be rude to her. Additionally, I struggled with financial independence and academic pursuits. She never asked for anything from me, and my ADHD symptoms disrupted what seemed to be my only path to happiness, following two failed marriages, divorces, and being separated from my beloved daughter when she was just 7 years old. Given my experiences, I can't relate to your commentary about your partner's ADHD. Best of luck to you!
@@rafa10perez ahh, I'm sorry to hear you've had such challenges. One of my best friends in the whole world also has it and she struggles with relationships (similar to what you have described). I still have faith you will find people that understand how to navigate your uniqueness and they will be your tribe. I find that if you are friends with or involved with someone it is also your responsibility to learn about their challenges. I still learn about adhd as we go by listening to podcasts and reading studies and also having conversations with my partner and bestie. If they had a physical challenge we would all learn how to care for and understand their challenges, we all deserve to be understood. I hope you find people that are curious and caring. 💜all the best.
Hearing the phrase "if you just tried harder" or "if you just apply yourself" automatically causes my eyes to tear up no matter what. I cannot say how much I hate that phrase.
Me too. I'm crying so much because I agree with them when they say that. I feel like I lost motivation for life but I am still very nervous about how my life is going so far. I feel like I'm failing myself
"Just use a planner!" Oh yeah thanks JENNIFER you totally cured my adhd now. I'll never forget an appointment or finish a project too late again! 🤦🏻♂️😤😤😤
I used to panic when my parents told me make sure I don’t do something again like loose my keys or forget things and I was always afraid to say I would try harder bc I never believed I could change it
For me all my life I've been told that I have so much potential in everything which translated to me as you could be better but you just aren't good enough right now. That's a trigger for me.
“A lot of people with ADHD don’t think they have it, and they just think they’re dumb, lazy, or aren’t trying hard enough.” Iv’e always felt this. Finally got diagnosed last week. 🙌🏻
Proud of you! Always do what's best for you! I'm 27 and I just got diagnosed a year ago. It's so relieving to finally have a REASON to why we function the way we do!
I thought the same thing for a long time turned out I have autism and then everything clicked my bf has ADHD and he tends to be pretty down with it but I'll try my best to cheer him up after all theres not many people with the empathy of aspies
Another big with ADHD is being “time blind” meaning struggling to be aware of how much time has passed or how long something will take. Quick example, i thought this video came out a month ago and was so happy I was finally getting around to it.... it’s only been out a week
The “I forgot to listen” hit different. You don’t know how many times I pause and rewind videos movies and shows. I love books but I can’t read because I’ll read a paragraph and forget what I just read.
exactly! i was just about to restart the video, when i realized that i was in online class, and just missed instructions. i THINK that i'm supposed to be writing an essay right now, but my ADD medicine isnt working, so yAy. =,)
YES. i do this so fcking much it gets really tiring, especially when you’re trying to watch something with someone and just can’t because your mind will not keep focus. it’s so draining in general.
I resonated so much with the woman when she said “A lot of people that have ADHD don’t think they have it because they think they’re simply lazy or stupid.” My entire life, my mother told me I was *choosing* to be lazy, I was *choosing* to fail classes, I was *choosing* to not pay attention. I tried so desperately to be these things that I physically and mentally cannot be. It put so much strain on me. People kept asking me why I was choosing to be this way when I didn’t even know myself! I’m still coping with realizing that my symptoms are not a fault of my own. I try not to blame myself, and instead try to tell myself that when I make mistakes, I am not *choosing* to make them. It feels weird to forgive myself for making mistakes, but ironically, my symptoms are less severe now that I’m not trying to suppress them. I literally almost cried when they talked about feeling helpless, and stupid, and like half of a person that everyone thinks you should be. People always tell you you’re not trying hard enough, that you’re choosing to “fail”. It hurts so much because people expect you to make a cake when you don’t have ingredients.
"either people with adhd need to stop being so relatable or i need to go to the doctor" update: i am trying to find a doctor to diagnose me but it's kinda hard when your country doesn't really value mental disorders like this 😭 if anyone has resources they'd like to share, please let me know!
Go to the doctor. In the mean time hang out with someone with ADHD and then ask them if they see it. We have our own ADD-dar. (ADHD radar). It's easy for us to see the processes and mental habits of people like us, so we may be able to provide some insight for you.
When Jessica said that she didn’t get diagnosed until way later in life because she was a “gifted student” my jaw dropped. That’s exactly what happened to me. I had all A’s my whole life and so everyone said it was impossible for me to have ADHD. When I got to college, my A’s turned into C’s, D’s, and F’s, because for the first time, I was actually on my own with my ADHD, and it took all that for someone to listen and actually diagnose me.
I had a similar experience: considered "gifted" in school, crashed and burned in university (twice) because of the lack of external structure. I didn't even consider ADHD as a possibility until afterwards, when I'd already internalised a lot of self-loathing about my "wasted potential".
I'm currently having the same experiences! I went from a straight A, high honor student in high school who had enough structure to work to a C student in online college who has had multiple breakdowns and chronic burnout. I'm not diagnosed(for reasons out of my control) but I'm 100% sure I have ADHD.
@@mmts96 Seek a diagnosis! If you have health insurance, google their name (ie Medi-Care), otherwise google “psychiatrist near me”. I’m in the exact same boat and I already called mine!
Same! I recognized I might have had it when I was 13 and kept asking my mom to get evaluated and it was always "You're too smart to have adhd you're just lazy" and I'm just now in therapy for the first time and am ab to get evaluated at 17. For me it wasn't college when my grades started going down it was high school because I would never be able to focus long enough to do all my homework but would get straight A's test wise.
Only people with adhd will get this: I need to clean.. *scrolls through TH-cam* oh an Anthony Padilla video about adh- oh I need to clean *cleans a little as in I picked up one sock* that’s good- I’m hungry. *sits back down and stares at a ceiling* I miss my second grade teacher ;/ *forgets about the video and watches other things* I’m hungry *eats the entire fridge* what did I forget. *zones out for 4 hours* oh I need to clean *cleans up a little of my room, a little of the kitchen, a little of the bathroom but everything still looks bad* I’m gonna sleep *watches Anthony Padilla video about adhd* *doesn’t sleep* EDIT: I hate to be that person but I think this is my most liked comment yet thanks for almost 900 🤡🤡🤡
Not me currently having a browser tab up where I looked up my high school chemistry teacher on Linked-in at 2 am in the middle of watching this video 😂
Please note that not everybody with ADHD has hyperactivity! It's a misconception. I just have the inattentiveness type, but I do have internal restlessness with the feeling of never getting anything done and being overwhelmed with things.
"Your grades are good but you could definitely do better if you'd put more effort into it." This fucked me up as a child and led me to believe my entire life that my grades were never good enough and that I was never doing enough
A lot of people don’t realize that ADHD also has a sort of opposite effect than you’d think, and that’s hyperfixation. I could be super into something for days and be super obsessive about it until I finish. Then like a week in I just drop it.
Ugh, that part's the worst. It's fun for a while, but when I'm two weeks in and I still can't think about anything except the game I've been playing for two weeks straight until I finish and I just want to do literally anything else it's like being stuck in a prison.
Yeah, this isn't fun sometimes. I finished the halo infinite campaign on legendary and got every single collectible on the map and in every level. It was terrible. I also studied a hard test for 5 hours every day for a week and passed the test and 7 months later still haven't started another one.
I'm a doctor that was just diagnosed with ADHD at 28 y/o. My presentation was predominantly inattentive and because I had always done well in school and exams, getting straight A's and good results despite not studying or procrastinating and studying at the last minute, no one including myself would have ever thought I would have ADHD. Ironically, I'm in the psychiatry department now and I can say that I was truly blessed to be surrounded by colleagues that noticed my symptoms and advised me to get checked out. Thank you for making this video and helping to raise awareness. World Mental Health Day is on 10th October with the theme being "Mental health is a universal human right". I will try my best to raise awareness during that time and hope to help others like myself who struggle everyday blaming themselves without knowing whats actually wrong. Whoever reads this, I hope you have a good day and do get yourself checked out if you think you might have it because it makes a world of a difference with the right help!
My mom is a doctor and she saw that adhd in me when I was about 1. I got my diagnosis when I was 7.. many don't realize that sleep problems are very common in people with adhd. She was a splendid doctor when she worked (she had to stop because of arthritis in her hands) and I am so, so, so greatful that she saw what the problem was so early! Also I put wrapping tape on the glasses of the person who diagnosed me 😅
@@irmablomberg9380 Owh, I'm glad your mom was able to pick up on your symptoms and got you diagnosed. Many parents tend to dismiss their childrens concerns and find it hard to accept. Your mom sounds like an amazing person :) The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so I'm sure whatever you have chosen to pursue, you will do well!
youre definitely not obligated to share but i would love to hear about the symptoms your colleagues pointed out. i'm trying to go to school for psychology and i think i might have adhd and would appreciate the insight!
@@izme8061Hey. I'm a 13 year old. I wanted to start off by saying how an amazing of a human you seem like. Ik I'm a kid and it would probably not matter, but seriously, god bless people like you. I'm aware it's quite idiotic to ask a stranger for advice, and not to be rude at all, but assuming that everything you said was true, I wanted to focus on the part where you said that your colleagues "noticed your symptoms". Considering how you presented as the inattentive type most of your school life, I wanted to ask what those symptoms were, as long as you're comfortable of course. I'm a 13 year old girl, and I contemplate day and night whether I have ADHD. I couldn't focus for a long period of time to save my life. I start focusing so much on how much I have to focus, which ends up in not focusing, defeating the entire purpose. I grew up in India and my narcissistic mother doesn't believe me, I'm kind of hopeless. I just wanted to ask a kind soul like you as to how it's actually like living with ADHD, of course keeping in mind that everyone can present differently. Your colleagues seem like great people too by the way.❤
Well that almost completely describes me and it was always in the back of my mind but now…. I’m thinking so. I have what some people call “top tier grades”, I play sports and do well, and i am told that since nothing is interfering with my life then I don’t really need to be checked. I will COMPLETELY refuse any medication because I could still get taller and my brain hasn’t completely develop so it’s just not a good choice. I have my life planned till I’m about 35. I want to be a surgeon that’s either a neurosurgeon or orthopedic surgeon and I’ve always been interested in phych. Also MY MOTHER AND SISTER HAS ADHD AND ITS HIGHLY LIKELY THAT MY BROTHER HAS IT TOO LIKE MEEE. I hope you know how well you helped me just with this comment!!! 😅☺️🤙🏽
I'm AFAB and I was just recently diagnosed,I've always been a kinda golden child and I've never really been a distracting student so it took a very long to get diagnosed but I'm glad that my siblings played attention to the symptoms I showed and I got diagnosed :]
Diagnosed at 23! I really wish I would have been looked at earlier, but I didn’t cause I was a good student, maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.. idk..
@@srbmakeup767 I definitely felt that, i’ve always had relatively good grades and didn’t present in a way that would be noticed either. but it was because i had a schedule for school and etc. so when the pandemic hit i really struggled and got tested for a lot of things. Everything does get better!!!!
the rejection sensitive dysphoria part really hit me. I used to get straight A's until 7th grade and ever since then my mother constantly tells me that "you're not trying hard enough" or "I know you can try harder" etc. and it really fucking hurts because I know that I am trying as hard as I can, but it takes me like 5 times the amount of effort it would take a neurotypical person to do anything.
I'm so very sorry you're going through that, having your mother claim that you're not trying hard enough when it takes you five times more effort than other people. I think it would be a really good idea to show her this video, then sit down the both of you and have a heart-to-heart talk about ADHD and how much her constant comments really hurt.
I used to spend almost all of my time when I got home working on homework, when I wasn’t getting distracted or procrastinating. And it always kind of hurt to see people getting the same grades as me and doing a fraction of the work. It was depressing to me and for awhile I didn’t know what my issue was
Hell I have adhd and didn’t know about that, I thought it was part of my “mood disorder” and MDD (some of my disorders, not bragging because that’s hella dumb, just explaining) I’m just lost for words. Though I still agree with my diagnosis’ as everything got worse soon before going to the mental hospital for self harm, suicidal ideation, and starving myself.
@@nova-qs6th oh I am, even with all my health and pain issues I’m the happiest I’ve been I feel like, though still very anxious and gotta figure things out. Thanks for the well wishes
As a person with ADHD a thing that makes me feel terrible about myself is the fact that I can't grasp easy concepts,and when I'm being forgetful and not remembering things that I should people call me lazy and it just hurts a lot. I'm glad that ADHD is being noticed because it is truly a thing that people look past. 🐝
When Jessica talked about “running out of time”, not being where she should be in life, not reaching her full potential, and feeling like a failure, that literally punched me right in the gut... I seriously felt that so much it hurt 😩😔
I always felt overlooked as a girl with adhd because the more standardized “traits” or whatever you want to call it of adhd are based off men with adhd and it differs between genders
Same here! I just got diagnosed a few months ago and I'm almost 21 - the thing that brought it to light was going to college and having all of my structure and accountability systems DESTROYED and then suddenly being like "haha what is life and how do I do _anything productive??"_
I got diagnosed at 6 with ADHD, I only think I got my diagnosis because my older brother and my father were both diagnosed as adhd and they knew it was genetic. Unfortunately I didn't get diagnosed as autistic until 21. :/
Me toOooo! I was diagnosed last year, and I'm also 21! Growing up, I was always the "weird/freak" girl in schoo and l was like, "why are you like this?". Now I imbrace my ADHD! Pop off y'all! 🤪
i often got called: lazy or wasting teachers their lectures about focussing in class cos they had special classes for people that had to learn to study better and of course it was the basics and they never thought people with attention deficit disorders or dyslexia, etc existed enough.... I would have to hear of classmates calling me obnoxiously loud when the hyper kicked in on my happy days and i literally had to hear teachers complain about my chaotic writing and lack of order and focus etc. took them a good twenty years of my existence to somewhat figure out I had add or adhd (still not fully diagnosed for some reason....).
Jessica really nailed it. I'm mid 30's and one of those "never reached their potential" people. I feel like I don't have my life together compared to the rest of my family, like I'm behind on some standard. I have no idea what I want to "do", so I'm stuck where I am and spinning my wheels trying to figure it out. I think it's easier to have a negative mindset because it was paved into us as kids that we just aren't trying hard enough, and it's so hard to lay a new mental path through a positive outlook instead. Gotta take things day by day sometimes.
ADHD is both over and under diagnosed in children because teachers, parents, and doctors all see it as a disorder of inconvenience for them. If you’re doing a good job of acting normal it never gets picked up
I totally agree. Even with me being "chatty" or "not doing well in school" was all just chalked up to normal things that a little girl may do. Or she just needs glasses... I mean I did.. but still. I wasn't even diagnosed until I was in my late teens maybe even early 20s. Timelines aren't my thing..
I'm almost sure i have ADHD but until this year when i started university i was the gifted student so never bothered with a proper diagnosis, i tought who cares, i'm doing well without help and without doing much work for school Let's say that this first year of university was hell and every little problem showed up, i really didn't achieve anything and constantly felt overwhelmed And still i won't bother to get it diagnosed cause i learnt that here if you're not diagnosed while a minor and started on some type of prescription while a minor that won't happen as an adult, so even if diagnosed they will tell me to do stuff that sure, helps a bit, but i tried it and didn't fix myself enough to be productive in a meaningful way So yeah, diagnosis it's a big problem and treatment too in some places of the world Edit: to be clear, it's not that i want a prescription for something and fuck them cause they won't give me on, but here almost everything, even stuff that helps mildly and doesn't cause much of a problem as side effects, is blocked behind a prescription, i guess it's good to prevent some type of abuse but it has its cons
i was literally put in corners because of my adhd when it was un diagnosed lmao.... no teacher ever said anything, because thats not what theyre trained to look for
Things you should NEVER say to someone with ADHD: “Just focus” “Girls can’t have ADHD” “You’re not THAT hyperactive. You probably only have ADD...” “Stop fidgeting” “Just stand still for a moment” “Why can’t you just be like everyone else?” “If you’re looking around you aren’t listening, look at me when I speak” “No one cares what interests you” “Shut up” As someone with severe ADHD these things really hurt. Just wanted people to know because most of the people who say these things don’t realize they are hurting me.
@LILIANA ROBLES I know, right? With my ADHD I can only really focus on what someone is saying when I am glancing around, so when they tell me that it makes it really hard to pay attention and retain what information they say.
something that is annoying to me as someone with adhd is whenever my parents say to just get up out of bed, its not that hard, you just have to try. LIKE HELLO ITS EITHER I DONT SLEEP OR YOU ARE PRACTICALLY TRYING TO WAKE UP SOMEONE FROM A COMA.
“Everything else was just me failing as a person, failing as a proper human being”...... “it was really hard for me when I realized I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it”.... ouch...that hits deep in the soul right this second.....
A lot of people also don’t talk about how difficult it is to do daily tasks as a person with adhd. It is so hard and an emotional rollercoaster, because you are constantly feeling like you’re letting everyone down around you. It’s hard to stick to the simplest daily routine without forgetting or messing something up. Then you look at peers around you and your just like “why can’t I just be normal like them”.
Apparently I am very good at concealing my ADHD. I was diagnosed at age 25 and when I got diagnosed I was super relieved because I finally had an explanation as to why it takes me so much more energy to live a „normal“ life, to get shit done and be on time etc.
Getting a diagnosis is not the end all be all, I was diagnosed but my parents did not only not treat me, but did not destigmatize it for me. Being told your experience along with your pain are not real and you just need to act normal. I sometimes wish I could send them all the medical proof that I am not only experiencing this but they damaged my esteem so much I am seeking therapy
I was diagnosed at a very young age and my parents told me that ADHD means I only had uncontrollable twitch's and trouble focusing in class. I really thought I was lazy or not trying hard enough or failing as a person or stupid until now. Thank you so much!
Me making summaries for exams, too endulged into the writing and details, I forget what it was truly about (studying the subject) and instead wrote a whole story about the greek or something and I get annoyed of course cos I 'wasted' at least hours on something that was meant to be a simple summary for my exams about history .... But god I was so into greek mythology so yeah, everything else went to the back burner lol
I may or may not have scared my dnd DM by making a fully automated customized 5e character sheet for my artificer (more variable features than most classes for me to automate) on Google sheets, as well as make my full inventory with an automatic weight calculator, and categorizing every item into a slot size to convert it into our DMs alternate encumbrance system in one night. It's all clean and easily updatable and looks nice, and is color coded so my friends could copy it and know how to fill it out. Oh, and I'm 2 weeks behind on schoolwork, but my fully automated minecraft AFK tower is done.
When Bex said, "I forgot to listen" I was like OMG YESSS!! I'll be watching TV, Movies, Tik Toks, sitting through a whole conversation and realise that I have no idea what happened for the pass 20 minutes. I'm so glad they said that.
I do this all the time. I get really into something and forget to listen. I always miss things. Part of this is from my anxiety and depression I get lost in thought from all that's going on.
“It was really hard for me when I realized that I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it.” Oof. I felt that in my soul.
I feel like that’s me but the worst thing you can do is be stuck in that mindset. For me add is a constant struggle. It takes me longer to accomplish things like other people but I’ve also learned to take my time and that it’s ok.
i was diagnosed at 3 years old. My mom was called a horrible mom by a DOCTOR because she wanted to put me and my brother on medication. she fought so hard to get us the help we needed. ❤
I related so much when the girl talked about sitting looking at something that needs to be done but then you just sit there and you just cant do it and u end up in tears
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly, 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
I know! Sometimes even when doing little everyday tasks I end up thinking about how I’m going to have to do that task tomorrow and the next and and literally forever and I just feel exhausted. Or I won’t be able to remember whether or not I already brushed my teeth for example. Or I just forget the task entirely.
@@ifiwsaflowridbearose heck yeah! It's something that doesn't even register in my brain without structure. it's not a matter of adhd severity brushing teeth is just another thing to forget especially when thing are busy. Body doubling is something that works for me so my partner brushes it reminds me to brush mine .
When Jessica cried while talking about having potential, but not getting anything done by 31, I cried with her. This is my biggest pain right now. I am 28 and so behind in life. I'm afraid I'll never find my place at all
I'm 28 too and started cring as well. It's interesting because it's not a pain I think about a how lot so when she vocalized how I felt... instant tears.
I’m 38 and also way behind in life… My friends are settled, with husbands & children , their own houses and often running their own businesses… And here I am, single for the past 12 years, living in a rented house with my Mum, with no savings but with great debt (impulse shopper)… I’ve got a great job but maintaining it costs me my entire energy and eats up all the scraps of focus I have… I’ve always been very ambitious, straight A student until the college where suddenly there was a lot more to manage. Never went to uni although it was my dream… Every dream I had is still sat on a shelf collecting dust. And this overwhelming feeling of being the failure my whole life… I couldn’t understand it because I know I am very clever & intelligent yet everyone overtakes me in life…:( Now it all makes sense! You will find your path…🙏🏻😘
if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been friends with a “gifted kid” who later found out had ADHD but still struggles for perfection, I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but doctors should rlly throw out the whole “you can’t have ADHD if you have straight A’s” thing
oh this is me! Been diagnosed for near a decade now. Was medicated but didn’t like the affects it had on me so i cut cold turkey and now i live w/ it and have little hacks that get me by
Yes! Gosh, my family don't want to make me have a diagnosis if I have ADHD or not because I am gifted, I wouldn't ever have ADHD because I have straight As! Even if I have so many symptoms of having it. It really sucks. But also! This is unrelated but I love your pfp! Venti supremacy!
i wasn’t diagnosed until i was 16 or 17 because of this. i could rarely focus on a thing unless i was hyper focused on it, yet everyone threw it out the window because i was smart and i guess my parents had too much pride. i was only diagnosed after i got genetic testing which showed i had a mutated gene that gave me genetic adhd.
I'm 29 years old and never once did I consider that I might have ADHD, I thought everyone just thought and felt the way I do. 3 weeks ago this video made me realise that I might have it. I was officially diagnosed today and start meds tomorrow. Be kind to your brain and don't be scared to talk to someone about it.
@@sucio- sorry for the late reply, I didn't see this. Yes! Meds have definitely changed things in a very positive way. I went on Vyvanse 30mg for a month and it was fantastic, I had no side effects from it at all and had the most productive month I've had in years. I'm not sure how much of that was placebo, but it felt great regardless. I haven't been able to get it again due to the shortage. I tried Contramyl 36mg for a week and had horrible anxiety symptoms and fatigue. It was clearly too high of a dosage for me and Contramyl didn't give me any benefits. I'm now on Concerta 27mg and it's very close to Vyvanse. I feel like I have more of a mental energy boost from it than a control of focus. If you're looking to try meds just be patient with the process until you find what works for you. I was given this advice before I started and it really helped when the contramyl wasn't going well. Good luck!
Totally! It presents differently in different people. In school I always did extremely well on tests even though I didn’t study, although because I didn’t have much structure at home I never did any of my homework so my grades were still really bad. But because of my high test scores it was assumed that I was just lazy, and I was told over and over how I just wasn’t applying myself. I was a good student, because it would have been much harder for me to just sit quietly in class I was always engaged. But then I would get home and half the time couldn’t even remember the homework that was assigned from all my classes, I would just think about how I had to do all of it and when I would try to force myself to do it I would often end up overwhelmed and in tears. Even though I knew all the information I couldn’t focus both at home and in school, it felt endless.
Whole heartedly agree. I would soar in certain subjects,but would absolutely fail in others, which would then Segway into the infamous "You have so much potential" conversations with my teachers.
Yea I don’t really know what she was talking about with that one. It’s quite common for young kids and teens with ADHD to be quite intelligent or get good grades.
when people say "your not trying hard enough" or "stop being lazy" its just like a punch to the gut man, like its not that i'm not trying its because i am trying but i physically cant do it, and it just stings to here shit like that.
It really does suck because a lot of the time it's something that you know you should be able to do but you're really struggling and it doesn't feel like there's a reason why. It's really rough, but I wish you well and hope you can remember that you are worth more than your performance on an assignment, in a class, or in school or whatever setting you find yourself in.
I just wanted to thank Jessica and Anthony. Because of this video, I finally found the courage to find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD and got a diagnosis. I was diagnosis about 2 weeks ago and started Adderall last week. My life makes so much more sense now.
I don't have anxiety, but god do I feel what you're saying I had someone completely shocked when I was in high school. I remember them saying "I thought you boring and quite, but man you never shut up"
Feeling this on a spiritual level. When you finally build up the courage to talk to someone, they'll start flaming you for "not listening" or fidgeting. BUDDY I'M TRYING...
when jessica talked about being the person who failed to reach their potential i broke down. i hate this. i dont have the money to get a diagnosis, but i KNOW i have ADHD. ive struggled for so long and no one sees it, everyone just sees the "failed potential" and think it's laziness
Jochem Goede exactly!! the health care system in america is so messed up, the fact that some people would rather risk their life than take an ambulance due to the bills that rack up is just insane. it shows how everything is about money. diagnosis, going to the doctor for a check up, etc should _all be free_ .
i’m so sorry you’re going through this :(( being in a tough financial situation can be incredibly hard. there are programs that can help you pay for medical bills/provide money for you to go to the doctor and another option is setting up a gofundme type of thing for others to help you out. hopefully this helps you a little bit, i truly wish you the best
@@jochemgoede5759 I absolutely agree. I'm a psychology major in a country where things like that are all refunded by insurances and generally cost less that in the States, I feel really bad when I bring up diagnosis then realize some people can't afford it (in the sense that I'm used to it costing close to nothing). Really everyone should have access to Healthcare. And putting such a huge cost on the access to mental health experts really ruins any "mental health awareness" attempts people could make as so many individuals are forced to live without the help and accommodations they absolutely need.
As a person living with ADHD I relate so much to Joey explaining waking up everyday ready to take on your whole "to-do" list but as the day progresses you end up doing nothing because you are overwhelmed by needing to do everything. It's such a vicious cycle and as an adult we are "supposed" to be organized, goal driven, able to complete tasks on our list, etc. When you have ADHD it makes you feel like you are not good enough, you're just lazy, and you question yourself daily as to why you aren't doing better. Really enjoyed this video..thank you for bringing light to what those of us who live with this disorder have to go through.
I feel this so much. My todo list will have about 3 tasks that are extremely simple. Like write an email, make a phone call, go to walmart. I will only complete 1 thing by the end of the day with great struggle in even doing the one thing. And i know how simple the tasks are, but I just cant make myself do them. I am 3 weeks behind in my college work rn and I havent successfully sent that email since February. I am really struggling out here
The concept of "wall of awful" on Jessica's channel (2 vids - 13min) addresses this IMHO perfectly and has definitely put a lot of perspective (not hyperlinking cause it looks dodge 🤣) PS She has an amazing community
"they have so much potential" "if they just applied themselves" "they need to put more effort in" etc etc. ALWAYS on every single report card i got. but i knew i was trying my best, and i got taught that my best wasn't good enough
Yeah that was what I always got as well. It really hurts when people say just do your best when you have been thought that your best is not good enough.
This is one of the truest things I have read today. The 'you can do better' is one of the vaguest excuses I have seen teachers put. One of my (other) teachers said, "What you put out IS your best. The teacher needs to work on the rest. You have given your best." This line has always stuck with me.
The thing that pisses me off the most is like. How people see someone with adhd not being hyperactive for a couple minutes and go "oh they can't have adhd they are able to focus sometimes " I have adhd, and I've been diagnosed, and sometimes if people see me sit still for more than a minute (which doesn't happen often) they go "oh you cant have adhd because you just sat still" idk. Maybe other people cant relate, but it pisses me off for sure.
A lot of ADHD is a spectrum too. Some people only have mild symptoms and some people are like, always turned up to 11. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Most days I'll be able to focus although with some effort, but then I get days where I just cannot focus at all, like, people could be talking to me and even though I'm staring at them and listening, I just can't process a single thing they said.
yea i feel u many ppl dont know about adhd i didnt my self till way later after high school matter of fact not to long ago i discovered it and im 21yo it sucks been a hard ride especially with cuz we tend to look normal till they notice our behaviors and not many like ppl with adhd or mental disorders so it's hard 2 make friends and relationships i been hoping to find someonr like me 2 be with but haven't had any luck so the journey of my life continues .
People don’t seem to understand how severe adhd can get. For some severe cases, telling someone with adhd to just focus or stay still is like telling a a paralyzed person to just walk or sit up straight. It just doesn’t work.
Add/adhd sucks so bad. Even worse when you also have social anxiety. Living is like hell, i cant do anything. I wanna socialize but i cant, i wanna get good grades but i cant. I cant do anything
I feel that exactly I was diagnosed with adhd in 2nd grade and anxiety in 9th (I’m pretty sure depression too Bc I was self harming but that was Bc of stress)
I have ADD and I would have spurts of random extroversion and introversion when I was younger. It’s not easy at first, but it does get better. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t trade it for the world now.
@@MariaEduarda-qt7xm yee ik!!! i appreciate when he brings nb ppl on. but i'm esp thankful abt this episode bc i feel like a lot of talk abt adhd awareness and activism is highly binary centric.
Growing up Black in a white environment, much of my ADHD behaviour (I’m combined type) was attributed to my ‘race’. Like “Oh she’s loud cause she’s Black” or “There goes the Black girl getting angry for no reason again that’s just how they are.” Didn’t get diagnosed until I was an adult. Also half of my family still refuses to believe it’s real. Anyway I wanted to write a long elaborate comment but my bedtime was six hours ago and I don’t know where I’m going with this lol. Thanks so much for this episode, greatly appreciated!
Why is this me as well. I also went to a white school, where I got mad and stood up for myself when some white girls were trying to bully me and spread false rumors. I was labeled as angry and problematic, keep in mind, I stood up for myself by being very mature about it, going to the teachers and speaking to them calmly.
I am so incredibly sorry this has been your experience. It's so disarming being diagnosed as an adult, and it's especially harder when the people in your family do everything to minimize a very real problem in your life.... I'm not black myself, but I'm an immigrant in Mexico (we moved when I was in 2nd grade) and I SO relate to this! So many of my depression and ADHD symptoms were ignored because "she's young and going through so many changes!", "she's not from here so it's okay that she gets a little lost in schoolwork!"... and then later in life it became "well, she's always angry because she's a difficult teenager!", "she's just lazy", "she's too liberal/has too much of an altruistic look of life", "her expectations are too high, that's why she's always disappointed!"... It's exhausting. Especially with the late diagnosis! I so wish I could've had the tools and help to deal with this sooner... It would've lifted a huge weight off my shoulders! I was also got diagnosed as an adult (happened literally Nov last year, and the only reason why I even thought ADHD made sense for me was that I saw one too many of those "put a finger down" Tik Tok videos and brought it up with my therapist!). My family still won't believe my diagnosis is real. Hell, they won't even acknowledge the depression and we've known about that one since I was way younger... In their eyes, it's all just me being lazy and trying to use "made up diagnoses" as an excuse for my "lackluster behavior"... and it's funny because now with clearer eyes I can SO see so many ADHD behaviors in them too! I hope you have some (or a couple someones) acting as your support system, because goign through this thing alone isn't fun! I'm sending you tons of love and strenght!
That's horrible they should not just base what they think on your race. Everyone is a different person and should not be generalized. I'm happy for you getting diagnosed though, it is always great to know.
Wow... I am so so sorry you had to go through that. My father can’t grasp the fact that ADHD is real either. But to blame that on your race?? That must be so hard.
Nearly started crying while watching this. I have never been able to describe my ADHD accurately enough to my loved ones, but this video has given me the chance to finally give them a window into my world, in hopes that they will all be able to understand me that much better, now. Thank you all so very, very much!! 💜
“I was no longer the person who had so much potential, I was the person who hadn’t reached it.” Jesus Jessica, you always say it so well. I feel so seen.
sad this doesn’t have more views bc ADHD is actually really misunderstood, people just think you’re hyperactive, can’t pay attention & impulsive, they don’t realize everything else that comes with that & all the other things ADHD changes about you
It doesn’t change you, you’re born with it hahah but yes I understand what you’re saying as someone who was diagnosed really young with adhd, ppl always misunderstand me.
exactly i have not been diagnosed but i am trying to i have always felt like i have always matched the symptoms anyway i told my friend i think i have adhd and she said no ur fine u just have trouble focusing...
When Jessica talked about how people ignored her adhd because she was a “gifted child” I felt that. I was also told there’s no way that I was adhd because I had straight As.
I didn't start struggling in school until college when my life took a turn and I had to commute and manage my time by myself... I was diagnosed a few years ago and it makes so much sense now
Yeah I didn't get diagnosed until my senior year of computer science as a full-time student and full-time night shift and taking care of my ill Mom. Went from Dean's list student to repeatedly failing and now I probably can't graduate anymore but I at least got diagnosed after seeing the school counseler.
I’m like 98% sure I have ADHD but since I didn’t get diagnosed as a child I’d have to pay $1200 and wait a year to get a diagnosis now, so I’m a struggling college student with no accommodations. Went from a 93 average in highschool to a 2.9 GPA. It’s rough. I feel this so bad.
Literally me at 31 still trying to get a diagnosis. Went for my first psych review at 28 and he was like "yea... you did well at school so it's probably not ADHD it's probably just because of the trauma you had when you were a teenager"... well then sir explain why I was so hyperactive and distracted all the time as a child!
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
these are bots, be warned. just saw the same exact comment from another vid. I’m not anti-psilocybin treatment, but psychedelics def are not for everyone, and ADHD people must be careful with dose cause a gram could have life changing effects.
Fuck, when Jessica said "I thought I was the person with so much potential but I was the one that hasn't reached it" that hit me in the heart because at 37 I realized this about me too, this thought alone has broken me.
I feel you. But that didn’t hit me as hard as “you are the only one who can judge your own potential”. And these 2 things go hand in hand. But I’m still learning how to deal with this.
One of my friends described ADHD in the most perfect way possible after I told her I felt stupid, "you're not stupid, you just think too fast for the normal person to understand you"
Omg this is me. I'm going to therapy and if at some point my therapist tells me that there's nothing wrong with me, I honestly don't know how I should react, if relieved because I'm fine or devastated because uh. so this is just me being terrible, this is who I am :D
I've been told by a therapist, you know yourself better than any doctor could. So if you are adamant try to make it clear. If you think your doctor is just a dick, go ahead and get another
@@renny1835 your therapist would never say that, unless they suck and dont want to be paid I suppose. Anyone could benefit from therapy even mentally healthy people.
No one is ever just lazy there's always some underlining factors. If not a condition you are born with then possibly stress or trauma from the environment. Like many terms used to shame people in the past they derive from not understanding. People feel proud of their jobs or their accomplishments or proud of the way people look at them. And society tried to push the same morals on everyone else in society even on other societies. it's just the symptom of the type of system we live in..
If there's anything I've learned, its that there is a clear difference between laziness and ADHD. Laziness is something you can power through. You don't get anxious about not finishing said task. You can't prioritize your goals or tasks. Laziness you can and in fact can find ways to do things efficiently so you spend less time doing it. Or you just don't care how it gets done
The question about "wasting your potential" hit very close to home for me as my oldest sister used to say this all the time and the way Bex explained it made me cry when I wasn't even expecting to with this video. This is why I love Anthony and this series.
I've been switching to good and bad mood for the past 3 or more days because of this. Been crying myself to sleep and also surprised myself by considering suicide, but ultimately backed down after thinking of a list ways to do it but couldn't find a painful and inexpensive process lol. I genuinely don't know how I'll survive this semester with all these long term group projects pushed on me, WHO THEY MADE THE LEADER. So thank you for the encouragement 😊 I still wanna die fr but I don't want to make my bestfriend cry.
It’s so hard to get a diagnoses not only as a girl but now that there’s so many abusing the drugs to “study harder” 🙄 it puts so many more loops in place for people who actually need it.
Yep. My doctor pursued bipolar for the longest time before finally agreeing it was adhd. To be fair, at 32 and female, bipolar was a real possibility. I also have to call the doc every month to get my medicine called in and have to talk every three months to re-evaluate.
Yeah. It also sucks that we have to actually go to the office to get a script every.. Single.. month.. (aka no refills) It's pretty difficult to be consistent with adhd and not miss your appointments 🙃
Yea I was told I could have bipolar or BPD but that just didn’t sound right to me or my mum. Then when I asked for an ADHD test (since both my brothers and dad have it) which strongly indicated I have it. My psychiatrist told me he’d rather treat my depression and anxiety first because so many kids are trying to get ADHD medication. But I’m depressed and anxious from the affects of my ADHD. 🙄 It’s been a 4 years since that and I’m still really struggling. I’m busy trying to get an appointment with a psych & I have a lovely GP who is routing for me but it’s so hard, it takes months to get the appointment, places don’t answer their phones, they never call back, they don’t update who is still working there. Sorry for the rant I’m just frustrated. 😅
Ah, yeah. My parents refuse to diagnose me with ADHD (or help me with it at all) even though literally everyone in the family has it. Firstly, they don't want me to take any helpful drugs because apparently they are so terrible, and second they think it doesn't affect me that much when it so obviously interferes with literally everything I do. It takes me three whole days to write some notes on a science article, and don't even mention math. I often forget to brush my teeth or bathe, or even eat. I also have the memory of a goldfish, it's so bad. Anyway, they refuse to take me to get tested for ADHD and if I tell them it is indeed a spectrum (hyperactive, inattentive, and combined types) they tell me it's not. Uh I guess thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, lmao.
Yea, this is the one that clicked for me. Friend of mine told me it was obvious to her that I had it; she told me about it and it started to make sense. I slowly started chiming with the thought of having ADHD because somehow it explains 99% of my life perfectly. Haven't been diagnosed yet because I kinda suck at ... prioritizing and making appointments and such, but yea. A lot of the things said here have made me violently nod my head, tear up or start noticing my tics. I was the shy gifted boy who would doodle in math class and the teacher would just accept it because I'd ace the exams. And then I'd just fail at the most boring simple stuff. And then impulsively start running. And drawing. And rhyming. And acting. And stopping all those things at a whim. And because creativity and sports are not considered a bad thing, nobody would look into it or hint at the connection. And damn, I felt that "person who hasn't achieved their potential" line. That's me. That quiet boy with this amazing intellect is gonna go places. Oh he's gonna be a doctorlawyer or CEO or he's gonna invent something and make billions. I even felt that negative pressure as a kid. I always hated being told what others think I'm gonna become when I was really not sure of who I even was back then. Now I struggle to just keep a job or do daily chores while at the same time being an overachiever and acing every test. That dichotomy only makes sense for me when I consider myself an AyDeeAgeDeeer. It's absurd to see how common this stuff is. Also, one of my friend's comments towards me noticing how many ADHD people are part of our circle was: "ADHD people befriend other ADHD people because we have the same highs but also the same lows." It's wild; it makes sense. I almost take offense when someone just mentally runs at a constant level. Like why are you not sprinting in the same wrong direction, buddy? Follow me into madness right now! Big thanks to all my non-ADHD friends who buffer me. Society is a beautiful thing in that regard.
I hate it when people tell me that! My dad says it and so does my school. It’s very frustrating. Especially when you have multiple mental health diagnoses. Like it’s not easy
It's even worse if on top of ADHD you have anxiety and depression and people say try harder or just get up and do it or my favorite stop being lazy/you're just lazy or you don't try hard enough it's like I am trying I really am you just can't tell bc you don't understand or think that what I have isn't real
Especially if you’re really trying. By saying that it’s basically saying that you’re not doing good enough even though this could be the absolute best you could be doing
A friend I had during high school who noticed when I would get lost in my own head only replying with "mhm", she would tap my shoulder and say "hey silly, come back im trying to tell you something" it made me cry because she understood that i don't do it on purpose 🥺Thank you so much for this episode, it's hard for people to understand us with adhd and this helps alot! 🤗
The people who don't blame on you for the way our brain works are awesome! My friends usually laugh or blame on me when I say I do X thing bc of ADHD, but not because they're bad friends, it must be hard to understand a neurodivergent brain, I'm so happy for you for having such good friends
@@kermit-uc3ek thank you! They may never understand fully or feel what it is like to have ADHD so its important to exspress how it feels and the struggles that comes with it so it might be easier to understand ☺️ and good friends are the best thing to have ☺️ hope you are doing good as well👍
This is so important for people with any kind of “abnormal” diagnosis. We work so hard every day to meet the world where it’s at, and the relief of someone understanding is lifting that weight for just a minute.
"She has potential, but she's just not APPLYING herself" unexpectedly crushed me. I haven't been to see anyone to be diagnosed with anything, but I have heard this from a couple of my closest friends -- that they're frustrated because they see me as the smartest person they know but I do nothing with it; like the first thing I think when I wake up and the last thing I think before I go to sleep isn't, "Dear Brain, please fix yourself." brb going on a shame spiral for a few decades.
I know the feeling. You know you're smart, you know how much you can do in short bursts of time.... you have energy (or a lot of mental energy that just... can be overwhelming) but harnessing it? Feels impossibility. Doing normal people things... like being on time, turning things in on time... being organized... being crap at all the things normal people can do easily (even though some things that are hard for normal people come easily to me... I never think about that) it makes it easy to beat yourself up. Especially when your parents are saying the same thing. "If you can only learn to just ________ you will be set for life, and if not, you're basically screwed." I'm just now realizing that I'm not the only one with these feelings, or these struggles. Now I'm realizing how to be realistic with myself and my brain, and I'm looking for more strategies to... trick my brain and body into doing a little better day to day and week to week? Now I have the help of looking for strategies that actually help for ADHD people, rather than trying strategies that work for normal people (but not me). Long diatribe but what I mean to say is that while I feel that same self hatred often, I'm trying to unlearn it... and you don't need to hate yourself for having a different brain either. We will figure it out. And you are amazing. Don't shame yourself for "being behind" in a race when you've lived life with one hand and one foot tied behind your back. You do you. (I'm talking to me too)
For anyone with ADHD who has ever heard this: Know that it isn't your fault. Your brain doesn't work the way everyone else expects. The best thing you can do is get diagnosed (if you haven't already) and work with a professional to determine your best course (counseling, medication, etc) moving forward. If you are someone seeing a person struggling: Please NEVER SAY THIS. It isn't helpful and it never will be, even if it is a neurotypical person just "not living up to their potential." It's likely there is something blocking them from doing so. Help them find and overcome their hurdles. Lift them up instead of putting them down. An example I have from my personal life of how ADHD would affect me as a student (note I wasn't diagnosed until about age 40): Sitting at the dining table with math homework in front of me, just staring at it, really wanting to start it, but being unable to. For 2 hours. Never actually did it. Important context: I am really good at math. This stuff wasn't hard for me to do and if I could have just started, I would have been done in about 20 minutes. My ADHD gives me a crap memory, but that one is absolutely seared into my brain and for a long time was an example to myself of how lazy and undisciplined I was. Decades later I finally understand that isn't true. Instead I lacked the brain chemicals at that moment to start doing the work and no amount of willpower would have changed that. I'm not lazy. I'm not undisciplined. I'm not a failure. I just have a condition that hampers my success in some areas.
This is one of the videos that made me realize I have ADHD. Unfortunately by the time I even realize I'm not stupid, lazy, irresponsible and all those horrible things I was already in my late 30s, graduated from university, struggled my whole life and have depression. I wish I was diagnosed earlier, it would have made such difference.
i would recommend "spending a day with people with social anxiety disorder" because its often shrugged off as "everybody gets anxious sometimes in public" or "everyone is insecure" when its so much more than that.
notes from a person with ADHD: Not everyone with ADHD has hyperactivity. And the reason fewer women are diagnosed is that fewer of us have hyperactivity and obvious symptoms and doctors just call us "overactive", etc.
I believe a no longer accepted diagnosis is also ADD (attention deficit disorder). I was clinically diagnosed with ADD 15 years ago but ig that's no longer a thing
i agree! as someone who was recently diagnosed, my peers that were told i had ad(h)d were pretty suprised. since i was highly shy in class and quiet in my friend group. adhd comes in many shapes and sizes
It’s so hard that the media even questions the reality of ADHD, while it litterally affects my entire life from not being able to follow conversations to having no real sense of time, to being paralyzed while only being called lazy, unmotivated and quiet. I’m really thankful that you go more in depth and spread awareness!
Ive just learned to mute those pepole most of the world is degenerants lazy unmotivated pepole which is what their calling us but when the world is collpasing like it is now all presures off and now its time to focus on goals but the world keeps forcing to do shit thats aganist the goals which is why my ADHD self is overwhelmed Ive just come to accept the world is designed to fail and to play with the cards I was delt and beat the odds even if it means going through a gauntlet
I completely agree! I got diagnosed just over 6 months before turning 24 (almost been a year! 🥰) and when the medicine was shown to work and my friends pointed it out (in a supportive way since I’m horrible at noticing things about me) I literally started crying because to me it was just that feeling of “I wasn’t crazy, there was actually something wrong!” And it felt so great to just KNOW and not feel like I was going insane thinking there was something wrong and being told there wasn’t.
@@TabithaDarkDreamer I’m happy you have a wonderful group of supportive friends! ♥️😭They diagnosed too quick for comfort but TH-cam has really helped me understand my downfalls and habits aren’t because I’m lazy or just not cut out. Medicine helps me too it was like a light turned on. it’s nice to have a community here and learn how we can rewire things adhd has embedded in us and not feel bad about it. Huge sense of relief 🥲
@@VerticalTV_ I know wtf!! On multiple adhd videos i always see someone start off with “ I wasn’t diagnosed until recently at 24 so…” I wonder what that’s about
I think that is part of the dissociation, cause I 100% feel that way in the morning when I wake up, before I get flooded with thoughts I don't even feel myself.
As a person with ADHD, I found it quite difficult to even get through this video. The one thing that really resonated with me was always being told "You have so much potential, you just need to apply yourself." People don't understand that we are prisoners of our own minds. ADHD honestly feels like torture most days for me. My brain is my worst enemy. 😭
Did you ever have situations where ADHD is screwing you over but you now know how to get past it? I didn’t get any check ups so idk if I have stuff that’s undiagnosed or not but I’m in a shitty and hopefully relatable situation so I’m wondering if I can go to you for advice.
That sentence should be on the official ADHD tests, especially in adult diagnosis. I could scream with fury every time I remember the countless versions of 'but you're so intelligent, you're just not trying hard enough'...
for me it feels like that often , especially when I'm around my older cousins and most of my aunts and uncles and relatives. I have so much potential but I get so angry when anyone and everyone tries to limit me . limit my creativity and try to micro manage my life cause they treat me like a incompetent child cause of my adhd . ill show them all and beat my adhds challenges and become the best at whatever I do
@@twentyonetortas5921 it depends on what sitch or sitches you're in or going through. I am pretty good at giving advice of you need any . especially on adhd and such . I have adhd btw .
@@craftylilhandses I have been diagnosed with it since I was a kid . now it propels me to pursue a music career and be the first ever Lebanese girl with adhd lyricist . and to become the greatest at whatever I do and whatever I want to do and be
We with ADHD try so hard in all aspects of our lives - work, school, relationships, our own home life - and are told we're not trying enough by neurotypical people who don't see the massive amounts of internal energy and effort it takes for us to fight our brains, to try to be neurotypical, only to end up reaching their perception of 'bare minimum.' Thank you so much for talking Jessica. My recent diagnosis of ADHD with autism as a comorbidity has lead me to her videos. She has gained a massive understanding of how our tribe functions. Hearing her explanations through research have been validating my entire life where I'd always thought I was the problem. That I was broken. That I had behavioral issues I could drop to be compliant with society if I chose to. It hurts so much to give something your all - even just getting out of bed can be a lot - only to be told "I'm sorry, but your best isn't good enough," like my previous manager told me last June. We're also told, "Why can't you just---" insert literally any activity/behavior neurotypicals see as normal here. I hate the word 'Just,' because it simplifies everything. It makes it seem like the task that 'Just' is applied to is something everyone can do, but we can't because - in their eyes - we choose not to. When in reality, we try. We really, really try. And because we can't do it, we're perceived as failed humans. We're surrounded by people who think this, so at a very early age, we start to internalize it. The first time I remember being unable to "just do it" was when I was 4, and had a meltdown during Star Tours at Disneyland in 1985. I was overstimulated, had no idea what was happening, everything was a jumble of information I didn't understand forming a ball of chaos inside me and it overloaded me. My brain "shorted out." All I could do was scream and hold onto my aunt's neck. She had a crick in her neck for the rest of the day because of me. And yet, I turned into a huge Star Wars and sci-fi nerd. I'm editing the manuscript of a sci-fi novel I wrote. Let me tell you, focusing to write is INSANELY HARD. This book would have been done 2 years ago instead of taking over 4 if I either didn't have ADHD, or had medication and help.
same here!!! I always feel like i'm desperately trying to catch up to everyone. I wonder what life is like without adhd & how people are able to seemingly stay on top of everything all the time...😅
I feel that, there’s some moments where I feel like I missed something that everyone else knows and just didn’t tell me, it can be really hard sometimes.
I don't know if I have adhd, currently in the process of trying to understand (with a professional), but I have always pushed away the distractions I had at school because I could learn everything very quickly and my grades were good so no one really saw a problem
"I feel so behind" This hits me hard constantly when friends from high school post anything about their lives. I just constantly battle with feeling worthless and lazy. It indeed effects EVERYTHING.
Dude what she described is exactly how my classwork goes. I get behind in one class and then have to do all the classwork and catch up in the one. Then I get overwhelmed and end up doing none which then puts me even further behind... 😭😭
The genetic thing is important. I was 74, moving house, and finding my inability to organise myself extremely frustrating, to the point that I sometimes felt like crying. I realised that, when I had moved nearly 40 years earlier, I'd followed my wife's instructions -- and taken over in the crises. I could do those. A few weeks after completing the move, I read an article by a woman diagnosed in her 40s, when she suddenly couldn't cope any longer with a high pressure executive job (and growing alcoholism!) Apart from alcohol, and the fact that she was rather sporty, most of what she said applied to me, though perhaps more mildly. Then I began to think... My brother was picked at school as being pretty bright, but... They moved him into a high intensity class, so he wouldn't be distracted and forget to do his work. My dad nearly killed himself the day I was born by taking a shortcut to the hospital up a 30m quarry face, and sliding in loose gravel near the top. He still couldn't resist cliffs when my kids visited in school holidays. He had difficulty regulating emotions. Started building projects at 10pm -- and tended to hop from project to project, with long periods of interspersed inaction. Then there was my grandfather, dad's father. Everyone liked him. He was open, talked to everyone, got a bravery medal in WWI by being the corporal who dashed into no man's land under fire to carry a wounded comrade back to the trenches -- but everyone said, "He's such a bull at a gate!" If he thought before he did something, he wouldn't have to do it twice!" Me? I spend all morning wondering what I'll do today. I must have four things in mind. I'll leave at 3 pm -- four times, because i have to go back for phone... shopping bags... the prescription I intended to fill. It took a while to persuade a doctor to refer me for testing. I have three degrees. I had steady employment all my working life, sometimes more than one job at a time. And i was never into sports. I just get lost in Wikipedia/Facebook/the latest history of Australian settlement. The doctors didn't even ask me why I thought I have it. It was nearly Christmas when i got the referral. I decided to call straight afterwards, and put the referral on my coffee table. I had visitors. I tidied up. I can't find the referral now. My second son is much the same.
Yes, genetics can indeed play a role. Your biggest assets now are your intuition and your desire to know. Call the doctor and ask them to mail you a reprint of the referral (it’s harder to lose in an envelope-😉 I was evaluated in my 40s. Working closely with doctors on finding and adjusting medication if needed, coupled with Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and most importantly, a decision to enjoy the heck out of who I am, AS I am, have all given me tools to live an improved life. I wish you many PLEASANT self-VALIDATING (even crying with grief or relief can be so cleansing) surprises on your journey, wherever it takes you!❤
Yes, genetics play a major role in the nature of ADHD, but environmental factors play a significant role too. The chance of inheritance if one parent has ADHD is about 25%, or 40% if both parents have it, so luckily you're unlikely to have passed it onto your own children. It reminds me of my family, where only a minority have ADHD, and the rest cannot and never have been able to relate whatsoever. Understanding that your brain is inherently impaired reassures you that it isn't your fault, especially when taking into account the genetic nature of the condition.
“Timelines are really hard for me” I’ve never felt something so deep in my life. I get so frustrated when I can’t specifically remember something that happened to me or my family member. Like I know I was there but the date, time, and context of that event are either fuzzy or completely gone. I was utterly shocked when I found out people remember every aspect of their childhood. Like I’m 20 and I can only remember stuff from when I was 9 and older, and only hardly. Like how?!?!?! Weeks and months either feel extremely short or extremely long and with staying home every single day, everything just meshes together.
It's part of ADHD's poor interoception. We don't measure time the same way and we often have TIME BLINDNESS as a result. We literally do not notice the difference between 1 minute passing and 5 minutes passing. This makes it nearly impossible for us to be on time to appointments or dates or outings with other people.
I remember this bothered me so much as a kid. Whenever my sister did something or called me something, she wouldn’t remember saying it and would tell me the exact date and context of when she said it. It made it so frustrating because I could remember her insulting me but not when she did or the context. 😓 I don’t think she realized how upsetting it was though because she also had ADHD and couldn’t remember things like that either 😅
i got diagnosed with ADHD in september at the age of 21 and i literally said to my doctor "i thought i was just getting dumber." hearing some of the things said in this video as a senior in college, it reminded me that i'm not a failure and i'm not "not applying myself," my brain is just wired differently which makes it more difficult to pay attention to my class material. thank you for this episode :)
even though i was diagnosed super young, i didn’t know the extent of adhd and took the name at face value my whole life and thought symptoms that weren’t just hyperactivity and focus issues were just me being stupid and i beat myself up about it until i only recently learned that there’s a huge adhd iceberg that i had only seen the tip of. it’s so validating to be given a reason as to why you’re “like this” and i’m glad you got your diagnosis
2am here, I'm exhausted and I know I gotta get up "early" but am I going to bed? nope. I'll just continue to jump from one video to the next and get on random topics. I started out searching up how two people can listen with their own earbuds to the same device...smh
come back next week for a truly moving episode, *I spent a day with people w/ TERMINAL ILLNESSES*.
🎙NEW PODCAST:
Spotify ▸ open.spotify.com/show/5aOLuPenneHbhLh05fmkeu
Apple ▸ podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-spent-a-day-with/id1550213250
ILY ❤
Love the vid!
Whoa, I’m not ready for next week 👀
Thank you for educating people on this topic!!
Please do dyslexia
What I hate about having ADHD is listening to people say "oh, I'm sooo ADHD" when they do something flighty or absent-mindedly.
There's SO MANY actual adjectives people can use instead of diluting the severity of mental disorders and making them seem like quirky character traits.
AAAH IKR I felt for ppl with ocd when it was “uukg my ocd is so bad right now look I made this line of pens straight” was a trend it’s kinda similar like shush, moron
@Malum me saying I don't like something doesnt make me a SJW.
Fuck, same. I remember once in gym class, this girl was dancing around and being extremely hyper while talking about how "I've got bad ADHD" and I just walked past her and said, "I have ADHD too, and it's ruining my life" before speeding up and walking away.
One time I was struggling with my adhd in class and I was talking about it to some girl and I forgot that she acts like a hypochondriac and she literally said "lowkey think I might have adhd bc yesterday it took me a solid 15 minutes to start my hw"😐
What people think ADHD is like: “man... my adhd is so bad... oh! A squirrel!”
What it’s actually like: *ive read this page 5 times and I still haven’t grasped the concept*
*think
SO TRUE I CANNOT READ WITHOUT SPENDING 17 MINUTES TRYING TO RE-READ A PARAGRAPH
I once spent 20 minutes on a assignment question, 20 MINUTES. Even worse it was a 30 minute assignment. 😑
But like also sometimes you just see a squirrel and get distracted
Bruh so true tho
"I was no longer the person with potential, I was the person that didn't reach it"
That one legit hurt.
I'm 28 and boy howdy that hit me hard. I struggle with that feeling all the damn time and it's terrible.
I relate so much to that.
It struck hard
That is literally me this year ffs, my parents keep telling me I have potential and I'm only getting lower grades cause I'm wasting it and don't give a f**k. Which isn't true, but what's the point in arguing if they never listen, right?
I thought the same thing to myself, it gave me the push to get diagnosed with ADHD at 31, I'm doing better now after a year of therapy and medication.
I have inattentive ADHD and always wondered why I’m always so forgetful, clumsy, spacey, disorganized and couldn’t concentrate/focus on anything that didn’t interest me and daydreaming all the time. I thought I was just lazy, dumb or something is wrong with me but I was diagnosed not long ago and started taking medication for it. No one thought I had it cause I was a quiet and well behaved girl in class and people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can’t keep still in a classroom.
I'm a daydreamer too. We got ignored in school because we don't cause trouble in class. My hyperactivity is in my head, not my body!
"people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can't sit still in a classroom" omg this is so true. thats literally the reason why my ADHD has been swept under the rug for so long lmfao, bc im too "well-behaved" 😭 the amount of times id ever bring up my struggles and constantly hear "no i dont see it" just shows how many stereotypes there are to this and how symptoms reflect differently for different people
what’s your medication?
@st8rgirl i had the hyperactivity stuff then was forced to take Adderall then gradeschool started feeling like a blank
I’m diagnosed and I still think something’s wrong with me sometimes, even though I know what it is, which makes no sense. I tried medication and didn’t like the side effects of any of them, so idk what to do at this point.
“I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it”
that hit hard.
Like this is beginning to be me now at 22, and it’s such a devastating feeling.
That is a shitty feeling. About 25-30 is when it set in for me. Many of us "gifted" students were set up for failure in real life. I'm 41 and it still bothers me. Especially having to go on disability.
@@ashtaylor4107 truthfully, it is
I keep clicking and unclicking the like button because it's so satisfying to watch it go from 999 to 1K
*So* hard.
As a "gifted child" with ADHD, not being able to reach my potential is really my biggest fear. Parts of this made me so anxious
This is me everyday of the past 21 years of my life. I'm so terrified that I'm not going to reach my potential, because that's the only thing that has kept me motivated whenever I was in tears because I couldn't do my homework or was basically called dumb by teacher after teacher. And now that I'm older and it's a lot harder to keep up with others my age that fear is intense.
Ugh that is such a good point. When that was first brought up in the video I was admittedly a little confused about why being told you have potential is such a bad thing. Cause for me during high school it felt really motivating! Until it didn’t... and now it’s just become this fear and this pressure.
Same
Same. I've always been a gifted child until I got in highschool (I'm in my second year in hs), things got ten times harder and I failed every single one of my classes. I saw the disappointment in everyone's faces and in everyone's words, it's the worst nightmare. Thanks to this I got my diagnosis though, things aren't great but they're better at least
@@BennuSauce Omgggggg I relate to that so much. Up until high school, I never struggled in school. Straight A's. Was able to focus in class. Then all of a sudden!!! around 2nd year of high school!!! everything started falling apart. My grades plummeted. I just felt like I was drowning. It sucked because I knew what I wanted to do and I knew what my goals and values were but it was like I couldn't act on them.
The thing that turned everything around for me admittedly was taking Adderall. I was SUPER against taking meds for the longest time and it felt like admitting defeat. But then halfway through senior year I finally gave in and it helped SO much. I was worried I wouldn't feel like myself but it was actually the opposite and I felt like myself for the first time in my life. Jessica's glasses analogy was spot on for me. Meds aren't for everyone but I just wanted to share my story since I know there's a lot of stigma attached.
I'm glad things are improving for you!! and I'm so sorry that it took such a negative turn in the first place :( it really really really sucks. Hope things continue to get better!!
what people think adhd is: *omg i can’t sit down, i just have to fidget. oh a squirrel!*
what adhd actually is: *i have been listening to this person repeat themselves over and over and i still can’t focus enough to process what they’re saying*
I totally agree. I sometimes just forget to process, and other times, I'm focusing so hard on masking I can't process.
@@lillyfrancisco6023 bc of my adhd, im slow. like my reflexes and my ability to process. bc my brain takes an extra few seconds to process what im hearing or what’s going on
@@gabby1181 that’s how I feel but I don’t have adhd
@@gorillaz100 yes, most of the symptoms of adhd are normal life problems for regular people. they’re just enhanced for us because it’s a disorder in the brain
This is literally me, and one of the reasons I'm getting tested for ADHD lol I zone out so bad that I can literally be staring at a person that is talking to me and only me, but I'm busy doing literally nothing and the words go straight over my head
My partner has ADHD and it's something I really love about him. He sees the world in such an energetic way and has such dynamism flowing through him. He can be around anyone and has such a keen interest in life. He does have hyperfocus and burnout and so these are things I can help remind him about to regulate him. He brings so much sunshine to our world ❤
ahh this makes me feel better about my own adhd thank you ❤❤
I CAN quite connect with YOUR commentary. In my own case, it was a different story. I recently lost the love of my life because my impulsivity and lack of inhibition led me to be rude to her. Additionally, I struggled with financial independence and academic pursuits. She never asked for anything from me, and my ADHD symptoms disrupted what seemed to be my only path to happiness, following two failed marriages, divorces, and being separated from my beloved daughter when she was just 7 years old. Given my experiences, I can't relate to your commentary about your partner's ADHD. Best of luck to you!
@@rafa10perez ahh, I'm sorry to hear you've had such challenges. One of my best friends in the whole world also has it and she struggles with relationships (similar to what you have described). I still have faith you will find people that understand how to navigate your uniqueness and they will be your tribe.
I find that if you are friends with or involved with someone it is also your responsibility to learn about their challenges. I still learn about adhd as we go by listening to podcasts and reading studies and also having conversations with my partner and bestie. If they had a physical challenge we would all learn how to care for and understand their challenges, we all deserve to be understood.
I hope you find people that are curious and caring. 💜all the best.
@@creekaura keep shining 💜🥰
What a lovely reply and so good to be reminded of the upside. We get caught up in the negatives too much. Xx
Hearing the phrase "if you just tried harder" or "if you just apply yourself" automatically causes my eyes to tear up no matter what. I cannot say how much I hate that phrase.
Same, I got flashbacks 🥺
Me too. I'm crying so much because I agree with them when they say that. I feel like I lost motivation for life but I am still very nervous about how my life is going so far. I feel like I'm failing myself
"Just use a planner!"
Oh yeah thanks JENNIFER you totally cured my adhd now. I'll never forget an appointment or finish a project too late again! 🤦🏻♂️😤😤😤
I used to panic when my parents told me make sure I don’t do something again like loose my keys or forget things and I was always afraid to say I would try harder bc I never believed I could change it
For me all my life I've been told that I have so much potential in everything which translated to me as you could be better but you just aren't good enough right now. That's a trigger for me.
When she said that ADHD people are often just trying to catch up I felt that
same, i felt that strongly
Same
So accurate and made me feel less alone
@@Amanda-yp7js And more understood.
@@Ryosuke1208 that too!
“A lot of people with ADHD don’t think they have it, and they just think they’re dumb, lazy, or aren’t trying hard enough.” Iv’e always felt this. Finally got diagnosed last week. 🙌🏻
Proud of you! Always do what's best for you! I'm 27 and I just got diagnosed a year ago. It's so relieving to finally have a REASON to why we function the way we do!
im not wanting to go there to get diagnosed too bored to
I thought the same thing for a long time turned out I have autism and then everything clicked my bf has ADHD and he tends to be pretty down with it but I'll try my best to cheer him up after all theres not many people with the empathy of aspies
Congrats!! I hope things get better with your new diagnosis 🥰🥰
I almost cried at my diagnosis. I thought maybe I WAS just lazy and stupid.
I really appreciate how they edited this video for ADHDers. The quick switching shots, the graphics, the pacing. Makes it so much easier to watch.
Oh that makes sense no wonder i was watching the whole thing through i normally chack comments right away
I have watched it on 1.75x speed 😂
I think that's just sort of the trend for editing TH-cam videos but yes it's helpful for us lol
Another big with ADHD is being “time blind” meaning struggling to be aware of how much time has passed or how long something will take. Quick example, i thought this video came out a month ago and was so happy I was finally getting around to it.... it’s only been out a week
I hate how much i relate to this
yeah! i'm so bad at estimating things, especially how long something will take
Holy cow I do this all the time😅
Yesssss it was literally just 4am
I’m timeblind and have object permanence struggles... it’s a great mix
The “I forgot to listen” hit different. You don’t know how many times I pause and rewind videos movies and shows. I love books but I can’t read because I’ll read a paragraph and forget what I just read.
exactly! i was just about to restart the video, when i realized that i was in online class, and just missed instructions. i THINK that i'm supposed to be writing an essay right now, but my ADD medicine isnt working, so yAy. =,)
Lmao that's why when I actually finish a book I say I've read it at least 3 times
I can ’blackout’ without realizing I did until I watch the same video/film etc again. ( There Will be a certain part that I dont recognize )
YES. i do this so fcking much it gets really tiring, especially when you’re trying to watch something with someone and just can’t because your mind will not keep focus. it’s so draining in general.
exactly. and then when im writing an essay or rly anything and i look back at it and see that i wrote the same sentence two times
I resonated so much with the woman when she said “A lot of people that have ADHD don’t think they have it because they think they’re simply lazy or stupid.”
My entire life, my mother told me I was *choosing* to be lazy, I was *choosing* to fail classes, I was *choosing* to not pay attention. I tried so desperately to be these things that I physically and mentally cannot be. It put so much strain on me. People kept asking me why I was choosing to be this way when I didn’t even know myself!
I’m still coping with realizing that my symptoms are not a fault of my own. I try not to blame myself, and instead try to tell myself that when I make mistakes, I am not *choosing* to make them. It feels weird to forgive myself for making mistakes, but ironically, my symptoms are less severe now that I’m not trying to suppress them.
I literally almost cried when they talked about feeling helpless, and stupid, and like half of a person that everyone thinks you should be. People always tell you you’re not trying hard enough, that you’re choosing to “fail”. It hurts so much because people expect you to make a cake when you don’t have ingredients.
I feel you dear soul. Have been there.. still am .. 😢
"either people with adhd need to stop being so relatable or i need to go to the doctor"
update: i am trying to find a doctor to diagnose me but it's kinda hard when your country doesn't really value mental disorders like this 😭 if anyone has resources they'd like to share, please let me know!
Go to the doctor 😂
Go get diagnosed 😂
I think you need a doctor😂😂
Same lol
Go to the doctor. In the mean time hang out with someone with ADHD and then ask them if they see it. We have our own ADD-dar. (ADHD radar). It's easy for us to see the processes and mental habits of people like us, so we may be able to provide some insight for you.
When Jessica said that she didn’t get diagnosed until way later in life because she was a “gifted student” my jaw dropped. That’s exactly what happened to me. I had all A’s my whole life and so everyone said it was impossible for me to have ADHD. When I got to college, my A’s turned into C’s, D’s, and F’s, because for the first time, I was actually on my own with my ADHD, and it took all that for someone to listen and actually diagnose me.
I had a similar experience: considered "gifted" in school, crashed and burned in university (twice) because of the lack of external structure. I didn't even consider ADHD as a possibility until afterwards, when I'd already internalised a lot of self-loathing about my "wasted potential".
Oh god this is exactly what happened with me.... I’m not diagnosed but I’m 100% sure I do have ADHD
I'm currently having the same experiences! I went from a straight A, high honor student in high school who had enough structure to work to a C student in online college who has had multiple breakdowns and chronic burnout. I'm not diagnosed(for reasons out of my control) but I'm 100% sure I have ADHD.
@@mmts96 Seek a diagnosis! If you have health insurance, google their name (ie Medi-Care), otherwise google “psychiatrist near me”. I’m in the exact same boat and I already called mine!
Same! I recognized I might have had it when I was 13 and kept asking my mom to get evaluated and it was always "You're too smart to have adhd you're just lazy" and I'm just now in therapy for the first time and am ab to get evaluated at 17. For me it wasn't college when my grades started going down it was high school because I would never be able to focus long enough to do all my homework but would get straight A's test wise.
Only people with adhd will get this:
I need to clean.. *scrolls through TH-cam* oh an Anthony Padilla video about adh- oh I need to clean *cleans a little as in I picked up one sock* that’s good- I’m hungry. *sits back down and stares at a ceiling* I miss my second grade teacher ;/ *forgets about the video and watches other things* I’m hungry *eats the entire fridge* what did I forget. *zones out for 4 hours* oh I need to clean *cleans up a little of my room, a little of the kitchen, a little of the bathroom but everything still looks bad* I’m gonna sleep *watches Anthony Padilla video about adhd* *doesn’t sleep*
EDIT: I hate to be that person but I think this is my most liked comment yet thanks for almost 900 🤡🤡🤡
I CLICKED ON THIS AFTER WATCHING JESSICA'S VIDEO ON HOW TO DEAL WITH CLUTTER BECAUSE I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM
Not me currently having a browser tab up where I looked up my high school chemistry teacher on Linked-in at 2 am in the middle of watching this video 😂
Should i be concern about how much i relate to this comment or...?
@@itscris1973 depends: do you have adhd lmaoo
Why do you just described me
It’s the analysis paralysis with ADHD that keeps me procrastinating, if I can’t do it perfectly I don’t want to do
Please note that not everybody with ADHD has hyperactivity! It's a misconception. I just have the inattentiveness type, but I do have internal restlessness with the feeling of never getting anything done and being overwhelmed with things.
me too yes
Same, it's commonly described as ADD
Hyperactivity affects our mind as well and still counts
@@rudegamer12 ADD is not the correct term though, apparently they changed it recently
@@t.7952 yup! All people w/adhd have BOTH "types" but in different proportions and outward signs.
"Your grades are good but you could definitely do better if you'd put more effort into it." This fucked me up as a child and led me to believe my entire life that my grades were never good enough and that I was never doing enough
I am there right now with an average grade of B and it just fucks me up because i know i can get more As if i just studied more but i just can't
SAME LMA0
When I tell ppl I have mental issues (I have more then 1) I always say I'm trying my best bc ppl always say "try your best" me like bitch I am.
yah i agree same but i lead me now into having bad grades because i never felt like what i was doing was good enough so i gave up trying
Omg I can relate soooooooooooooo much
A lot of people don’t realize that ADHD also has a sort of opposite effect than you’d think, and that’s hyperfixation. I could be super into something for days and be super obsessive about it until I finish. Then like a week in I just drop it.
Ugh, that part's the worst. It's fun for a while, but when I'm two weeks in and I still can't think about anything except the game I've been playing for two weeks straight until I finish and I just want to do literally anything else it's like being stuck in a prison.
the amount of hobbies i’ve started and got bored with within a week are insane lmfao so much money like wasted
Yeah, this isn't fun sometimes. I finished the halo infinite campaign on legendary and got every single collectible on the map and in every level. It was terrible.
I also studied a hard test for 5 hours every day for a week and passed the test and 7 months later still haven't started another one.
@@JoshuaSilverstein777 that would be me. Hello and 👋
💀💀💀💀Can relate man
I'm a doctor that was just diagnosed with ADHD at 28 y/o. My presentation was predominantly inattentive and because I had always done well in school and exams, getting straight A's and good results despite not studying or procrastinating and studying at the last minute, no one including myself would have ever thought I would have ADHD. Ironically, I'm in the psychiatry department now and I can say that I was truly blessed to be surrounded by colleagues that noticed my symptoms and advised me to get checked out. Thank you for making this video and helping to raise awareness. World Mental Health Day is on 10th October with the theme being "Mental health is a universal human right". I will try my best to raise awareness during that time and hope to help others like myself who struggle everyday blaming themselves without knowing whats actually wrong.
Whoever reads this, I hope you have a good day and do get yourself checked out if you think you might have it because it makes a world of a difference with the right help!
My mom is a doctor and she saw that adhd in me when I was about 1. I got my diagnosis when I was 7.. many don't realize that sleep problems are very common in people with adhd.
She was a splendid doctor when she worked (she had to stop because of arthritis in her hands) and I am so, so, so greatful that she saw what the problem was so early!
Also I put wrapping tape on the glasses of the person who diagnosed me 😅
@@irmablomberg9380 Owh, I'm glad your mom was able to pick up on your symptoms and got you diagnosed. Many parents tend to dismiss their childrens concerns and find it hard to accept. Your mom sounds like an amazing person :) The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so I'm sure whatever you have chosen to pursue, you will do well!
youre definitely not obligated to share but i would love to hear about the symptoms your colleagues pointed out. i'm trying to go to school for psychology and i think i might have adhd and would appreciate the insight!
@@izme8061Hey. I'm a 13 year old. I wanted to start off by saying how an amazing of a human you seem like. Ik I'm a kid and it would probably not matter, but seriously, god bless people like you. I'm aware it's quite idiotic to ask a stranger for advice, and not to be rude at all, but assuming that everything you said was true, I wanted to focus on the part where you said that your colleagues "noticed your symptoms". Considering how you presented as the inattentive type most of your school life, I wanted to ask what those symptoms were, as long as you're comfortable of course. I'm a 13 year old girl, and I contemplate day and night whether I have ADHD. I couldn't focus for a long period of time to save my life. I start focusing so much on how much I have to focus, which ends up in not focusing, defeating the entire purpose. I grew up in India and my narcissistic mother doesn't believe me, I'm kind of hopeless. I just wanted to ask a kind soul like you as to how it's actually like living with ADHD, of course keeping in mind that everyone can present differently. Your colleagues seem like great people too by the way.❤
Well that almost completely describes me and it was always in the back of my mind but now…. I’m thinking so. I have what some people call “top tier grades”, I play sports and do well, and i am told that since nothing is interfering with my life then I don’t really need to be checked. I will COMPLETELY refuse any medication because I could still get taller and my brain hasn’t completely develop so it’s just not a good choice. I have my life planned till I’m about 35. I want to be a surgeon that’s either a neurosurgeon or orthopedic surgeon and I’ve always been interested in phych. Also MY MOTHER AND SISTER HAS ADHD AND ITS HIGHLY LIKELY THAT MY BROTHER HAS IT TOO LIKE MEEE. I hope you know how well you helped me just with this comment!!! 😅☺️🤙🏽
wanna know why girls with adhd aren’t “common” because society writes it off at chatty, etc. most girls get diagnosed until 16-18 yrs
I was one of the lucky ones and got diagnosed in kindergarten-first grade. Which ofc, I’m really grateful for.
I'm AFAB and I was just recently diagnosed,I've always been a kinda golden child and I've never really been a distracting student so it took a very long to get diagnosed but I'm glad that my siblings played attention to the symptoms I showed and I got diagnosed :]
I doubt that claim tbh
Diagnosed at 23! I really wish I would have been looked at earlier, but I didn’t cause I was a good student, maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.. idk..
@@srbmakeup767 I definitely felt that, i’ve always had relatively good grades and didn’t present in a way that would be noticed either. but it was because i had a schedule for school and etc. so when the pandemic hit i really struggled and got tested for a lot of things. Everything does get better!!!!
the rejection sensitive dysphoria part really hit me. I used to get straight A's until 7th grade and ever since then my mother constantly tells me that "you're not trying hard enough" or "I know you can try harder" etc. and it really fucking hurts because I know that I am trying as hard as I can, but it takes me like 5 times the amount of effort it would take a neurotypical person to do anything.
I'm so very sorry you're going through that, having your mother claim that you're not trying hard enough when it takes you five times more effort than other people. I think it would be a really good idea to show her this video, then sit down the both of you and have a heart-to-heart talk about ADHD and how much her constant comments really hurt.
i 100% feel you, and i’m going through the same exact situation. just know that this time *will* pass! that’s what i tell myself.
I used to be a As student to 6th grade.
Now I'm one of the worst ones in class, write Ds and had to repeat a year...
@@jasmintea8825 Why?? 😣
I used to spend almost all of my time when I got home working on homework, when I wasn’t getting distracted or procrastinating. And it always kind of hurt to see people getting the same grades as me and doing a fraction of the work. It was depressing to me and for awhile I didn’t know what my issue was
HE’S TALKING ABOUT REJECTION SENSITIVITY! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT!
as a person with adhd I feel so understood
Hell I have adhd and didn’t know about that, I thought it was part of my “mood disorder” and MDD (some of my disorders, not bragging because that’s hella dumb, just explaining) I’m just lost for words. Though I still agree with my diagnosis’ as everything got worse soon before going to the mental hospital for self harm, suicidal ideation, and starving myself.
@@paigecoleman1628 hey yes it's not very known so it's defined possible you haven't heard about it. Btw hope you're doing fine now
Oh my god I was so happy to see it
@@nova-qs6th oh I am, even with all my health and pain issues I’m the happiest I’ve been I feel like, though still very anxious and gotta figure things out. Thanks for the well wishes
As a person with ADHD a thing that makes me feel terrible about myself is the fact that I can't grasp easy concepts,and when I'm being forgetful and not remembering things that I should people call me lazy and it just hurts a lot.
I'm glad that ADHD is being noticed because it is truly a thing that people look past. 🐝
When Jessica talked about “running out of time”, not being where she should be in life, not reaching her full potential, and feeling like a failure, that literally punched me right in the gut... I seriously felt that so much it hurt 😩😔
same i started crying lmao back at it again with the unregulated emotions
Me too you’re not alone
I definitely shed a tear or two there. She put it into the best words for that overwhelming feeling.
I feel like this feeling is literally every day of my life right now :(
i know i was crying
I always felt overlooked as a girl with adhd because the more standardized “traits” or whatever you want to call it of adhd are based off men with adhd and it differs between genders
Same here! I just got diagnosed a few months ago and I'm almost 21 - the thing that brought it to light was going to college and having all of my structure and accountability systems DESTROYED and then suddenly being like "haha what is life and how do I do _anything productive??"_
I got diagnosed at 6 with ADHD, I only think I got my diagnosis because my older brother and my father were both diagnosed as adhd and they knew it was genetic.
Unfortunately I didn't get diagnosed as autistic until 21. :/
@Falcon Fern thank you!! I'm working on it slowly but surely. I hope you're able to get a diagnosis and start getting proper treatment as well :)
Thank you. I have not only been ignored by my mother, but even my THERAPIST disregarded me because “I have good grades”
Me toOooo! I was diagnosed last year, and I'm also 21! Growing up, I was always the "weird/freak" girl in schoo and l was like, "why are you like this?". Now I imbrace my ADHD! Pop off y'all! 🤪
I have ADHD, and I hear from people all the time “your lazy” and I’m like do you understand how much i move around..
i often got called: lazy or wasting teachers their lectures about focussing in class cos they had special classes for people that had to learn to study better and of course it was the basics and they never thought people with attention deficit disorders or dyslexia, etc existed enough.... I would have to hear of classmates calling me obnoxiously loud when the hyper kicked in on my happy days and i literally had to hear teachers complain about my chaotic writing and lack of order and focus etc. took them a good twenty years of my existence to somewhat figure out I had add or adhd (still not fully diagnosed for some reason....).
You are lazy
I would just love for one of those people to spend literally 5 minutes in our brains before they try to tear their own head off. Smh
YOU INTERNALIZE IT!!
@@howiegruwitz3173 Stop trolling, its not doing anything.
Jessica really nailed it. I'm mid 30's and one of those "never reached their potential" people. I feel like I don't have my life together compared to the rest of my family, like I'm behind on some standard. I have no idea what I want to "do", so I'm stuck where I am and spinning my wheels trying to figure it out. I think it's easier to have a negative mindset because it was paved into us as kids that we just aren't trying hard enough, and it's so hard to lay a new mental path through a positive outlook instead. Gotta take things day by day sometimes.
ADHD is both over and under diagnosed in children because teachers, parents, and doctors all see it as a disorder of inconvenience for them. If you’re doing a good job of acting normal it never gets picked up
Which is why medicating children's ADHD can be so hard. It must be going fine as long as they're quiet, right?
I totally agree. Even with me being "chatty" or "not doing well in school" was all just chalked up to normal things that a little girl may do. Or she just needs glasses... I mean I did.. but still. I wasn't even diagnosed until I was in my late teens maybe even early 20s. Timelines aren't my thing..
I'm almost sure i have ADHD but until this year when i started university i was the gifted student so never bothered with a proper diagnosis, i tought who cares, i'm doing well without help and without doing much work for school
Let's say that this first year of university was hell and every little problem showed up, i really didn't achieve anything and constantly felt overwhelmed
And still i won't bother to get it diagnosed cause i learnt that here if you're not diagnosed while a minor and started on some type of prescription while a minor that won't happen as an adult, so even if diagnosed they will tell me to do stuff that sure, helps a bit, but i tried it and didn't fix myself enough to be productive in a meaningful way
So yeah, diagnosis it's a big problem and treatment too in some places of the world
Edit: to be clear, it's not that i want a prescription for something and fuck them cause they won't give me on, but here almost everything, even stuff that helps mildly and doesn't cause much of a problem as side effects, is blocked behind a prescription, i guess it's good to prevent some type of abuse but it has its cons
i was literally put in corners because of my adhd when it was un diagnosed lmao.... no teacher ever said anything, because thats not what theyre trained to look for
@@bricoley or “shes just lazy”, “shes mixed in with the wrong crowd of friends”, “she just needs to apply herself”
Things you should NEVER say to someone with ADHD:
“Just focus”
“Girls can’t have ADHD”
“You’re not THAT hyperactive. You probably only have ADD...”
“Stop fidgeting”
“Just stand still for a moment”
“Why can’t you just be like everyone else?”
“If you’re looking around you aren’t listening, look at me when I speak”
“No one cares what interests you”
“Shut up”
As someone with severe ADHD these things really hurt. Just wanted people to know because most of the people who say these things don’t realize they are hurting me.
@LILIANA ROBLES
I know, right? With my ADHD I can only really focus on what someone is saying when I am glancing around, so when they tell me that it makes it really hard to pay attention and retain what information they say.
@Corporal Adrian Shepard MOOD
@Corporal Adrian Shepard amazing
@Corporal Adrian Shepard
Yes 😔🤚
something that is annoying to me as someone with adhd is whenever my parents say to just get up out of bed, its not that hard, you just have to try. LIKE HELLO ITS EITHER I DONT SLEEP OR YOU ARE PRACTICALLY TRYING TO WAKE UP SOMEONE FROM A COMA.
this video reminds of the "either people with ADHD need to stop being so relatable or I need to go to the doctor" post
I *just* quoted that
YES
BAHHAHABAJSNSS THESE ARE MY EXACT THOUGHTS
Actually me rn
Me rn
I like how Anthony wants to understand people with ADHD more and I have ADHD so I appreciate this a lot
“Everything else was just me failing as a person, failing as a proper human being”...... “it was really hard for me when I realized I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it”.... ouch...that hits deep in the soul right this second.....
RIGHTT!!! THAT HIT ME IN THE GUT!
Yeah the second one really hit me like a bullet
* internal 30 yo screaming intensifies *
That hit so hard
same ;-;
Having ADHD isn't just laziness or "crackhead energy."
actually like i hate it when people think its just that
I hated when "friend groups" would call me a crackhead. Happened too much.
Exactly I dont have it but I understand this so many girls are always like ugh I have adhd I'm a crackheadddd
Its like having five brains thinking different thoughts at once
@@Souldalegend you’re not a weirdo!
A lot of people also don’t talk about how difficult it is to do daily tasks as a person with adhd. It is so hard and an emotional rollercoaster, because you are constantly feeling like you’re letting everyone down around you. It’s hard to stick to the simplest daily routine without forgetting or messing something up. Then you look at peers around you and your just like “why can’t I just be normal like them”.
Same
I stopped caring. If they don't like my bip bop mind then they can stay away...
OMG RIGHT
Apparently I am very good at concealing my ADHD. I was diagnosed at age 25 and when I got diagnosed I was super relieved because I finally had an explanation as to why it takes me so much more energy to live a „normal“ life, to get shit done and be on time etc.
Getting a diagnosis is not the end all be all, I was diagnosed but my parents did not only not treat me, but did not destigmatize it for me. Being told your experience along with your pain are not real and you just need to act normal. I sometimes wish I could send them all the medical proof that I am not only experiencing this but they damaged my esteem so much I am seeking therapy
I was diagnosed at a very young age and my parents told me that ADHD means I only had uncontrollable twitch's and trouble focusing in class. I really thought I was lazy or not trying hard enough or failing as a person or stupid until now. Thank you so much!
“I can make 4 full discord servers in a day but I can’t finish this fucking assignment” is my adhd in a nutshell
when i tell you i felt that-
I’ve done that too many times 😭
Yees, actually made a discord server for my uni English courses and forgot an assignment (no deadline) for a solid 6 months
Me making summaries for exams, too endulged into the writing and details, I forget what it was truly about (studying the subject) and instead wrote a whole story about the greek or something and I get annoyed of course cos I 'wasted' at least hours on something that was meant to be a simple summary for my exams about history .... But god I was so into greek mythology so yeah, everything else went to the back burner lol
I may or may not have scared my dnd DM by making a fully automated customized 5e character sheet for my artificer (more variable features than most classes for me to automate) on Google sheets, as well as make my full inventory with an automatic weight calculator, and categorizing every item into a slot size to convert it into our DMs alternate encumbrance system in one night. It's all clean and easily updatable and looks nice, and is color coded so my friends could copy it and know how to fill it out. Oh, and I'm 2 weeks behind on schoolwork, but my fully automated minecraft AFK tower is done.
I have adhd and being “overwhelmed by thoughts and unable to function in the way modern society sees as normal” is A MOOD
@Corporal Adrian Shepard I’m literally sharing my experiences why are you mocking me
@Corporal Adrian Shepard yh why u moking i have ADHD i dont appreciate that!
@@pennyw2226 ik right
@Corporal Adrian Shepard As someone with ADHD..No honey, you can't.
I love how dramatic it is. He is so empathetic and this shows how he wants others to understand it too :D
When Bex said, "I forgot to listen" I was like OMG YESSS!! I'll be watching TV, Movies, Tik Toks, sitting through a whole conversation and realise that I have no idea what happened for the pass 20 minutes. I'm so glad they said that.
*insert Pumba voice*
OH THE PAAAAIIIIIIN,
Wait no I relate to this but I don't even have ADHD
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
@@_M1l0_ sameee
I do this all the time. I get really into something and forget to listen. I always miss things. Part of this is from my anxiety and depression I get lost in thought from all that's going on.
“It was really hard for me when I realized that I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it.” Oof. I felt that in my soul.
Okay but like i was Scrolling through the comments and she said it just as I read it... I'm shook
Me too
Yeah ouch ooof right in the feels
@@jdhwhwhw4981 BRUH WTF SAME THATS SO WEIRD
I feel like that’s me but the worst thing you can do is be stuck in that mindset. For me add is a constant struggle. It takes me longer to accomplish things like other people but I’ve also learned to take my time and that it’s ok.
i was diagnosed at 3 years old. My mom was called a horrible mom by a DOCTOR because she wanted to put me and my brother on medication. she fought so hard to get us the help we needed. ❤
I related so much when the girl talked about sitting looking at something that needs to be done but then you just sit there and you just cant do it and u end up in tears
I just started crying after reading this (haven't finished the video xd xD just reading comments :'D)
YES!!
pair that with depression and it's just complete inability to do anything
this video felt like home
I've never "yes"ed so hard in my life
for reallll
*yes*
Now if he would talk to someone with social anxiety......I'd feel at home
Yeah it felt like a safe place
As someone with ADHD I appreciate this episode a lot
Same
same
I have it too
I forgot I was watching it
Same
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly, 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of mycologist Predroavaro. This treatment worked for me. Helped me got rid of my anxiety and BPD.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
My ADHD distracts me from basic necessities,
ex: eating, brushing teeth, showering, cleaning my room, bathroom, etc.
I know! Sometimes even when doing little everyday tasks I end up thinking about how I’m going to have to do that task tomorrow and the next and and literally forever and I just feel exhausted. Or I won’t be able to remember whether or not I already brushed my teeth for example. Or I just forget the task entirely.
@@kaileym4237 Yes!! Same!!
@@kaileym4237 I have this and i just couldn't figure out why. I just thought it was normal??
Question from someone with an ADHD fiancé.. Could your ADHD get so bad that it causes you to stop brushing your teeth altogether?
@@ifiwsaflowridbearose heck yeah! It's something that doesn't even register in my brain without structure. it's not a matter of adhd severity brushing teeth is just another thing to forget especially when thing are busy. Body doubling is something that works for me so my partner brushes it reminds me to brush mine .
When Jessica cried while talking about having potential, but not getting anything done by 31, I cried with her. This is my biggest pain right now. I am 28 and so behind in life. I'm afraid I'll never find my place at all
I’m 26 and feel that same pain. Hopefully one day we’ll have it all figured out :/
I'm 28 too and started cring as well. It's interesting because it's not a pain I think about a how lot so when she vocalized how I felt... instant tears.
31 and I’m still in school working on a new major again ugh
yo, your comment is in anthony’s newest video about kleptomania
I’m 38 and also way behind in life… My friends are settled, with husbands & children , their own houses and often running their own businesses… And here I am, single for the past 12 years, living in a rented house with my Mum, with no savings but with great debt (impulse shopper)… I’ve got a great job but maintaining it costs me my entire energy and eats up all the scraps of focus I have…
I’ve always been very ambitious, straight A student until the college where suddenly there was a lot more to manage. Never went to uni although it was my dream… Every dream I had is still sat on a shelf collecting dust. And this overwhelming feeling of being the failure my whole life… I couldn’t understand it because I know I am very clever & intelligent yet everyone overtakes me in life…:( Now it all makes sense!
You will find your path…🙏🏻😘
if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been friends with a “gifted kid” who later found out had ADHD but still struggles for perfection, I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but doctors should rlly throw out the whole “you can’t have ADHD if you have straight A’s” thing
This isn't related but I love your profile picture
oh this is me! Been diagnosed for near a decade now. Was medicated but didn’t like the affects it had on me so i cut cold turkey and now i live w/ it and have little hacks that get me by
Yes! Gosh, my family don't want to make me have a diagnosis if I have ADHD or not because I am gifted, I wouldn't ever have ADHD because I have straight As! Even if I have so many symptoms of having it. It really sucks.
But also! This is unrelated but I love your pfp! Venti supremacy!
IK WHAT THE HELLLLL
i wasn’t diagnosed until i was 16 or 17 because of this. i could rarely focus on a thing unless i was hyper focused on it, yet everyone threw it out the window because i was smart and i guess my parents had too much pride. i was only diagnosed after i got genetic testing which showed i had a mutated gene that gave me genetic adhd.
I'm 29 years old and never once did I consider that I might have ADHD, I thought everyone just thought and felt the way I do.
3 weeks ago this video made me realise that I might have it. I was officially diagnosed today and start meds tomorrow.
Be kind to your brain and don't be scared to talk to someone about it.
How have the meds helped?
@@sucio- sorry for the late reply, I didn't see this.
Yes! Meds have definitely changed things in a very positive way. I went on Vyvanse 30mg for a month and it was fantastic, I had no side effects from it at all and had the most productive month I've had in years. I'm not sure how much of that was placebo, but it felt great regardless. I haven't been able to get it again due to the shortage. I tried Contramyl 36mg for a week and had horrible anxiety symptoms and fatigue. It was clearly too high of a dosage for me and Contramyl didn't give me any benefits. I'm now on Concerta 27mg and it's very close to Vyvanse. I feel like I have more of a mental energy boost from it than a control of focus.
If you're looking to try meds just be patient with the process until you find what works for you. I was given this advice before I started and it really helped when the contramyl wasn't going well.
Good luck!
Holy fuck in my country I have to wait like 2 years to get seen for a diagnosis
@@innominativecompany4231 damn where do you live thats actually ridiculous
@@christiandk09 the UK 😭
You can get straight As and have ADHD. Repeat that again. How well you do in school doesn't invalidate having it.
Totally! It presents differently in different people. In school I always did extremely well on tests even though I didn’t study, although because I didn’t have much structure at home I never did any of my homework so my grades were still really bad. But because of my high test scores it was assumed that I was just lazy, and I was told over and over how I just wasn’t applying myself. I was a good student, because it would have been much harder for me to just sit quietly in class I was always engaged. But then I would get home and half the time couldn’t even remember the homework that was assigned from all my classes, I would just think about how I had to do all of it and when I would try to force myself to do it I would often end up overwhelmed and in tears. Even though I knew all the information I couldn’t focus both at home and in school, it felt endless.
Whole heartedly agree. I would soar in certain subjects,but would absolutely fail in others, which would then Segway into the infamous "You have so much potential" conversations with my teachers.
I get really good grades but I am still adhd
I hate this because I always get turned away from doctors (like they won’t even give us a pamflet) because I have straight as
Yea I don’t really know what she was talking about with that one. It’s quite common for young kids and teens with ADHD to be quite intelligent or get good grades.
“Little alien rat child wandering around a corporeal plane” is the biggest mood
I want it on a shirt, a mug, anything
@@pennylanekane I'd buy a hoodie with that on it
I heard that and was like YES. Sometimes I am the most oblivious child on earth.
I totally understood exactly what she was talking about too!
god this calls me out so much
when people say "your not trying hard enough" or "stop being lazy" its just like a punch to the gut man, like its not that i'm not trying its because i am trying but i physically cant do it, and it just stings to here shit like that.
Me too, those are the things people would say that triggered my depression :)
This is exactly how I feel, and it's worse when I'm told that I can control some of it, when I'm not. It sucks
It really does suck because a lot of the time it's something that you know you should be able to do but you're really struggling and it doesn't feel like there's a reason why. It's really rough, but I wish you well and hope you can remember that you are worth more than your performance on an assignment, in a class, or in school or whatever setting you find yourself in.
Im even wose because I even doubt myself and it's pure torture
Being told that makes me doubt myself so I tried to ignore it but sometimes it doesn’t work
I just wanted to thank Jessica and Anthony. Because of this video, I finally found the courage to find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD and got a diagnosis. I was diagnosis about 2 weeks ago and started Adderall last week. My life makes so much more sense now.
having ADHD and anxiety makes it sooooo hard to talk to people, even significant others
I don't have anxiety, but god do I feel what you're saying I had someone completely shocked when I was in high school. I remember them saying "I thought you boring and quite, but man you never shut up"
Feeling this on a spiritual level. When you finally build up the courage to talk to someone, they'll start flaming you for "not listening" or fidgeting. BUDDY I'M TRYING...
@@anonymousloser2905 i totally feel that lol when im with my friends my mind moves faster than my mouth
@@stressley3106 when my bf and i first started dating it was hard because of my adhd like I LOVE YOU MAN IM TRYING just let me fidget
@@kerryhoey9822 THIS. THIS EXACTLY
when jessica talked about being the person who failed to reach their potential i broke down. i hate this. i dont have the money to get a diagnosis, but i KNOW i have ADHD. ive struggled for so long and no one sees it, everyone just sees the "failed potential" and think it's laziness
Oh no!
*hugs* i understand that feeling my psychologist told me That i wouldn't be a career i wanted like SERIOUSLY!?
It should not cost money to get a diagnosis from a psychologist. Change my mind.
Jochem Goede exactly!! the health care system in america is so messed up, the fact that some people would rather risk their life than take an ambulance due to the bills that rack up is just insane. it shows how everything is about money. diagnosis, going to the doctor for a check up, etc should _all be free_ .
i’m so sorry you’re going through this :(( being in a tough financial situation can be incredibly hard. there are programs that can help you pay for medical bills/provide money for you to go to the doctor and another option is setting up a gofundme type of thing for others to help you out. hopefully this helps you a little bit, i truly wish you the best
@@jochemgoede5759 I absolutely agree. I'm a psychology major in a country where things like that are all refunded by insurances and generally cost less that in the States, I feel really bad when I bring up diagnosis then realize some people can't afford it (in the sense that I'm used to it costing close to nothing).
Really everyone should have access to Healthcare. And putting such a huge cost on the access to mental health experts really ruins any "mental health awareness" attempts people could make as so many individuals are forced to live without the help and accommodations they absolutely need.
As a person living with ADHD I relate so much to Joey explaining waking up everyday ready to take on your whole "to-do" list but as the day progresses you end up doing nothing because you are overwhelmed by needing to do everything. It's such a vicious cycle and as an adult we are "supposed" to be organized, goal driven, able to complete tasks on our list, etc. When you have ADHD it makes you feel like you are not good enough, you're just lazy, and you question yourself daily as to why you aren't doing better. Really enjoyed this video..thank you for bringing light to what those of us who live with this disorder have to go through.
I feel this so much. My todo list will have about 3 tasks that are extremely simple. Like write an email, make a phone call, go to walmart. I will only complete 1 thing by the end of the day with great struggle in even doing the one thing. And i know how simple the tasks are, but I just cant make myself do them. I am 3 weeks behind in my college work rn and I havent successfully sent that email since February. I am really struggling out here
Me too
Same
Same.
The concept of "wall of awful" on Jessica's channel (2 vids - 13min) addresses this IMHO perfectly and has definitely put a lot of perspective (not hyperlinking cause it looks dodge 🤣)
PS She has an amazing community
Jessica just never misses on how it feels to have ADHD. THe potential part? Oh boy...
“I wish someone taught me about the world of ADHD”
That hit too close to home...
"they have so much potential" "if they just applied themselves" "they need to put more effort in" etc etc. ALWAYS on every single report card i got. but i knew i was trying my best, and i got taught that my best wasn't good enough
Yeah that was what I always got as well. It really hurts when people say just do your best when you have been thought that your best is not good enough.
Me too
Same situation here...I've heard that so many times.
This is one of the truest things I have read today. The 'you can do better' is one of the vaguest excuses I have seen teachers put. One of my (other) teachers said, "What you put out IS your best. The teacher needs to work on the rest. You have given your best." This line has always stuck with me.
@@pratyakshamishra3802 wow that teacher sounds like a legend
The thing that pisses me off the most is like. How people see someone with adhd not being hyperactive for a couple minutes and go "oh they can't have adhd they are able to focus sometimes " I have adhd, and I've been diagnosed, and sometimes if people see me sit still for more than a minute (which doesn't happen often) they go "oh you cant have adhd because you just sat still" idk. Maybe other people cant relate, but it pisses me off for sure.
A lot of ADHD is a spectrum too. Some people only have mild symptoms and some people are like, always turned up to 11. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Most days I'll be able to focus although with some effort, but then I get days where I just cannot focus at all, like, people could be talking to me and even though I'm staring at them and listening, I just can't process a single thing they said.
oh I can relate, people say that to me, and I found this book that really pissed me off called ADHD isn't real
yea i feel u many ppl dont know about adhd i didnt my self till way later after high school matter of fact not to long ago i discovered it and im 21yo it sucks been a hard ride especially with cuz we tend to look normal till they notice our behaviors and not many like ppl with adhd or mental disorders so it's hard 2 make friends and relationships i been hoping to find someonr like me 2 be with but haven't had any luck so the journey of my life continues .
I have inattentive adhd so I sit still quite easily(I still fidget though) but my mind is a billion places elsewhere.
@@overshottyler this is exactly me. I'm hyperactive *internally* . Wait till you guys see it lol.
People don’t seem to understand how severe adhd can get. For some severe cases, telling someone with adhd to just focus or stay still is like telling a a paralyzed person to just walk or sit up straight. It just doesn’t work.
Add/adhd sucks so bad. Even worse when you also have social anxiety. Living is like hell, i cant do anything. I wanna socialize but i cant, i wanna get good grades but i cant. I cant do anything
Same. I think it's correlated
same
I feel that exactly I was diagnosed with adhd in 2nd grade and anxiety in 9th (I’m pretty sure depression too Bc I was self harming but that was Bc of stress)
I have ADD and I would have spurts of random extroversion and introversion when I was younger. It’s not easy at first, but it does get better. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t trade it for the world now.
Exactly it’s a struggle
i really loved how he got one guy, one girl, AND one nb person. they tend to seem invisible when ppl talk abt adhd.
He does this most of the times
@@MariaEduarda-qt7xm yee ik!!! i appreciate when he brings nb ppl on. but i'm esp thankful abt this episode bc i feel like a lot of talk abt adhd awareness and activism is highly binary centric.
Growing up Black in a white environment, much of my ADHD behaviour (I’m combined type) was attributed to my ‘race’. Like “Oh she’s loud cause she’s Black” or “There goes the Black girl getting angry for no reason again that’s just how they are.” Didn’t get diagnosed until I was an adult. Also half of my family still refuses to believe it’s real.
Anyway I wanted to write a long elaborate comment but my bedtime was six hours ago and I don’t know where I’m going with this lol. Thanks so much for this episode, greatly appreciated!
Why is this me as well. I also went to a white school, where I got mad and stood up for myself when some white girls were trying to bully me and spread false rumors. I was labeled as angry and problematic, keep in mind, I stood up for myself by being very mature about it, going to the teachers and speaking to them calmly.
I am so incredibly sorry this has been your experience. It's so disarming being diagnosed as an adult, and it's especially harder when the people in your family do everything to minimize a very real problem in your life.... I'm not black myself, but I'm an immigrant in Mexico (we moved when I was in 2nd grade) and I SO relate to this! So many of my depression and ADHD symptoms were ignored because "she's young and going through so many changes!", "she's not from here so it's okay that she gets a little lost in schoolwork!"... and then later in life it became "well, she's always angry because she's a difficult teenager!", "she's just lazy", "she's too liberal/has too much of an altruistic look of life", "her expectations are too high, that's why she's always disappointed!"... It's exhausting. Especially with the late diagnosis! I so wish I could've had the tools and help to deal with this sooner... It would've lifted a huge weight off my shoulders!
I was also got diagnosed as an adult (happened literally Nov last year, and the only reason why I even thought ADHD made sense for me was that I saw one too many of those "put a finger down" Tik Tok videos and brought it up with my therapist!). My family still won't believe my diagnosis is real. Hell, they won't even acknowledge the depression and we've known about that one since I was way younger... In their eyes, it's all just me being lazy and trying to use "made up diagnoses" as an excuse for my "lackluster behavior"... and it's funny because now with clearer eyes I can SO see so many ADHD behaviors in them too!
I hope you have some (or a couple someones) acting as your support system, because goign through this thing alone isn't fun! I'm sending you tons of love and strenght!
That's horrible they should not just base what they think on your race. Everyone is a different person and should not be generalized. I'm happy for you getting diagnosed though, it is always great to know.
Wow... I am so so sorry you had to go through that. My father can’t grasp the fact that ADHD is real either. But to blame that on your race?? That must be so hard.
Nearly started crying while watching this. I have never been able to describe my ADHD accurately enough to my loved ones, but this video has given me the chance to finally give them a window into my world, in hopes that they will all be able to understand me that much better, now. Thank you all so very, very much!! 💜
“I was no longer the person who had so much potential, I was the person who hadn’t reached it.” Jesus Jessica, you always say it so well. I feel so seen.
sad this doesn’t have more views bc ADHD is actually really misunderstood, people just think you’re hyperactive, can’t pay attention & impulsive, they don’t realize everything else that comes with that & all the other things ADHD changes about you
It doesn’t change you, you’re born with it hahah but yes I understand what you’re saying as someone who was diagnosed really young with adhd, ppl always misunderstand me.
Yes exactly. When I told to a friend I had ADHD he said "I know you, and you're always very quiet and grounded". Wow guess I'm cured.
exactly i have not been diagnosed but i am trying to i have always felt like i have always matched the symptoms anyway i told my friend i think i have adhd and she said no ur fine u just have trouble focusing...
@@mackinzielizabeth872 I feel ya, it's really frustrating. It's not like she can look inside your brain so she has no right to say that.
When Jessica talked about how people ignored her adhd because she was a “gifted child” I felt that. I was also told there’s no way that I was adhd because I had straight As.
I didn't start struggling in school until college when my life took a turn and I had to commute and manage my time by myself... I was diagnosed a few years ago and it makes so much sense now
Yeah I didn't get diagnosed until my senior year of computer science as a full-time student and full-time night shift and taking care of my ill Mom. Went from Dean's list student to repeatedly failing and now I probably can't graduate anymore but I at least got diagnosed after seeing the school counseler.
I’m like 98% sure I have ADHD but since I didn’t get diagnosed as a child I’d have to pay $1200 and wait a year to get a diagnosis now, so I’m a struggling college student with no accommodations. Went from a 93 average in highschool to a 2.9 GPA. It’s rough. I feel this so bad.
That's so true being a 'gifted student' often isn't a gift
Literally me at 31 still trying to get a diagnosis. Went for my first psych review at 28 and he was like "yea... you did well at school so it's probably not ADHD it's probably just because of the trauma you had when you were a teenager"... well then sir explain why I was so hyperactive and distracted all the time as a child!
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@michealharris3221Does dr.sporess ship?
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
these are bots, be warned. just saw the same exact comment from another vid. I’m not anti-psilocybin treatment, but psychedelics def are not for everyone, and ADHD people must be careful with dose cause a gram could have life changing effects.
Fuck, when Jessica said "I thought I was the person with so much potential but I was the one that hasn't reached it" that hit me in the heart because at 37 I realized this about me too, this thought alone has broken me.
We feel this so often. Knowing you work so hard, are smart and have the desire but everyone easily passes you
I feel you. But that didn’t hit me as hard as “you are the only one who can judge your own potential”. And these 2 things go hand in hand. But I’m still learning how to deal with this.
same
I'm 37 too and feel this way
I am 41.... and just 5 years ago I was wondering what happened with my life....
One of my friends described ADHD in the most perfect way possible after I told her I felt stupid, "you're not stupid, you just think too fast for the normal person to understand you"
I mean I think too fast for myself to understand so that does inhibit my ability to function
@@EndlessEchos same lol
We just think too fast for even our own brains to understand us
ive heard that people with messy handwriting just think to fast adn that translsates into their writing. take it with a grain of salt tho lmao
I AM SPEED
My fear: going through the expensive process of getting diagnosed, and then being told, "yup, you're just lazy"
Omg this is me. I'm going to therapy and if at some point my therapist tells me that there's nothing wrong with me, I honestly don't know how I should react, if relieved because I'm fine or devastated because uh. so this is just me being terrible, this is who I am :D
I've been told by a therapist, you know yourself better than any doctor could. So if you are adamant try to make it clear. If you think your doctor is just a dick, go ahead and get another
@@renny1835 your therapist would never say that, unless they suck and dont want to be paid I suppose. Anyone could benefit from therapy even mentally healthy people.
No one is ever just lazy there's always some underlining factors. If not a condition you are born with then possibly stress or trauma from the environment. Like many terms used to shame people in the past they derive from not understanding. People feel proud of their jobs or their accomplishments or proud of the way people look at them. And society tried to push the same morals on everyone else in society even on other societies. it's just the symptom of the type of system we live in..
If there's anything I've learned, its that there is a clear difference between laziness and ADHD.
Laziness is something you can power through. You don't get anxious about not finishing said task.
You can't prioritize your goals or tasks. Laziness you can and in fact can find ways to do things efficiently so you spend less time doing it. Or you just don't care how it gets done
The question about "wasting your potential" hit very close to home for me as my oldest sister used to say this all the time and the way Bex explained it made me cry when I wasn't even expecting to with this video. This is why I love Anthony and this series.
This is the shoutout to all the people with ADHD struggling with at-home work/school. I see you, we'll get through this!
Thank you, I needed that :)
I've been switching to good and bad mood for the past 3 or more days because of this. Been crying myself to sleep and also surprised myself by considering suicide, but ultimately backed down after thinking of a list ways to do it but couldn't find a painful and inexpensive process lol. I genuinely don't know how I'll survive this semester with all these long term group projects pushed on me, WHO THEY MADE THE LEADER. So thank you for the encouragement 😊 I still wanna die fr but I don't want to make my bestfriend cry.
We watching this while avoiding my homework:
@@ryderfurpaw4201 taking breaks is good, just make sure you get back to it after! I know how easy it is to get sucked into a TH-cam rabbit hole!
🖤
It’s so hard to get a diagnoses not only as a girl but now that there’s so many abusing the drugs to “study harder” 🙄 it puts so many more loops in place for people who actually need it.
Yep. My doctor pursued bipolar for the longest time before finally agreeing it was adhd. To be fair, at 32 and female, bipolar was a real possibility. I also have to call the doc every month to get my medicine called in and have to talk every three months to re-evaluate.
Yeah. It also sucks that we have to actually go to the office to get a script every.. Single.. month.. (aka no refills)
It's pretty difficult to be consistent with adhd and not miss your appointments 🙃
Yea I was told I could have bipolar or BPD but that just didn’t sound right to me or my mum. Then when I asked for an ADHD test (since both my brothers and dad have it) which strongly indicated I have it. My psychiatrist told me he’d rather treat my depression and anxiety first because so many kids are trying to get ADHD medication. But I’m depressed and anxious from the affects of my ADHD. 🙄
It’s been a 4 years since that and I’m still really struggling. I’m busy trying to get an appointment with a psych & I have a lovely GP who is routing for me but it’s so hard, it takes months to get the appointment, places don’t answer their phones, they never call back, they don’t update who is still working there.
Sorry for the rant I’m just frustrated. 😅
@@urmomdotcom4039 very difficult!
Ah, yeah. My parents refuse to diagnose me with ADHD (or help me with it at all) even though literally everyone in the family has it. Firstly, they don't want me to take any helpful drugs because apparently they are so terrible, and second they think it doesn't affect me that much when it so obviously interferes with literally everything I do. It takes me three whole days to write some notes on a science article, and don't even mention math. I often forget to brush my teeth or bathe, or even eat. I also have the memory of a goldfish, it's so bad. Anyway, they refuse to take me to get tested for ADHD and if I tell them it is indeed a spectrum (hyperactive, inattentive, and combined types) they tell me it's not. Uh I guess thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, lmao.
I'm so proud of Anthony. He's helping so many people with the "I spent a day with" series
Really using his voice for the greater good and education.
ikr
@@yourmajesty9589 savior is too much but I think he's such a great person
Yea, this is the one that clicked for me. Friend of mine told me it was obvious to her that I had it; she told me about it and it started to make sense. I slowly started chiming with the thought of having ADHD because somehow it explains 99% of my life perfectly. Haven't been diagnosed yet because I kinda suck at ... prioritizing and making appointments and such, but yea. A lot of the things said here have made me violently nod my head, tear up or start noticing my tics.
I was the shy gifted boy who would doodle in math class and the teacher would just accept it because I'd ace the exams. And then I'd just fail at the most boring simple stuff. And then impulsively start running. And drawing. And rhyming. And acting. And stopping all those things at a whim. And because creativity and sports are not considered a bad thing, nobody would look into it or hint at the connection.
And damn, I felt that "person who hasn't achieved their potential" line. That's me. That quiet boy with this amazing intellect is gonna go places. Oh he's gonna be a doctorlawyer or CEO or he's gonna invent something and make billions. I even felt that negative pressure as a kid. I always hated being told what others think I'm gonna become when I was really not sure of who I even was back then. Now I struggle to just keep a job or do daily chores while at the same time being an overachiever and acing every test. That dichotomy only makes sense for me when I consider myself an AyDeeAgeDeeer.
It's absurd to see how common this stuff is. Also, one of my friend's comments towards me noticing how many ADHD people are part of our circle was: "ADHD people befriend other ADHD people because we have the same highs but also the same lows." It's wild; it makes sense. I almost take offense when someone just mentally runs at a constant level. Like why are you not sprinting in the same wrong direction, buddy? Follow me into madness right now! Big thanks to all my non-ADHD friends who buffer me. Society is a beautiful thing in that regard.
ugh when people tell me i just have to “apply myself” is the worst. like yeah im trying
Ik this feeling man i have most of the affects of adhd but im not diagnosed should i go checked out?
I hate it when people tell me that! My dad says it and so does my school. It’s very frustrating. Especially when you have multiple mental health diagnoses. Like it’s not easy
It's even worse if on top of ADHD you have anxiety and depression and people say try harder or just get up and do it or my favorite stop being lazy/you're just lazy or you don't try hard enough it's like I am trying I really am you just can't tell bc you don't understand or think that what I have isn't real
@@crowlc9416 i'd say yeah! ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist and discuss a possible adhd diagnosis
Especially if you’re really trying. By saying that it’s basically saying that you’re not doing good enough even though this could be the absolute best you could be doing
A friend I had during high school who noticed when I would get lost in my own head only replying with "mhm", she would tap my shoulder and say "hey silly, come back im trying to tell you something" it made me cry because she understood that i don't do it on purpose 🥺Thank you so much for this episode, it's hard for people to understand us with adhd and this helps alot! 🤗
The people who don't blame on you for the way our brain works are awesome! My friends usually laugh or blame on me when I say I do X thing bc of ADHD, but not because they're bad friends, it must be hard to understand a neurodivergent brain, I'm so happy for you for having such good friends
@@kermit-uc3ek thank you! They may never understand fully or feel what it is like to have ADHD so its important to exspress how it feels and the struggles that comes with it so it might be easier to understand ☺️ and good friends are the best thing to have ☺️ hope you are doing good as well👍
That's beautiful. Your friend sounds like a wonderful soul.
@@captainmadigan the best friend I have ever had, truly a gentle soul ❤
This is so important for people with any kind of “abnormal” diagnosis. We work so hard every day to meet the world where it’s at, and the relief of someone understanding is lifting that weight for just a minute.
"She has potential, but she's just not APPLYING herself" unexpectedly crushed me. I haven't been to see anyone to be diagnosed with anything, but I have heard this from a couple of my closest friends -- that they're frustrated because they see me as the smartest person they know but I do nothing with it; like the first thing I think when I wake up and the last thing I think before I go to sleep isn't, "Dear Brain, please fix yourself."
brb going on a shame spiral for a few decades.
I know the feeling. You know you're smart, you know how much you can do in short bursts of time.... you have energy (or a lot of mental energy that just... can be overwhelming) but harnessing it?
Feels impossibility. Doing normal people things... like being on time, turning things in on time... being organized... being crap at all the things normal people can do easily (even though some things that are hard for normal people come easily to me... I never think about that) it makes it easy to beat yourself up. Especially when your parents are saying the same thing. "If you can only learn to just ________ you will be set for life, and if not, you're basically screwed."
I'm just now realizing that I'm not the only one with these feelings, or these struggles. Now I'm realizing how to be realistic with myself and my brain, and I'm looking for more strategies to... trick my brain and body into doing a little better day to day and week to week? Now I have the help of looking for strategies that actually help for ADHD people, rather than trying strategies that work for normal people (but not me).
Long diatribe but what I mean to say is that while I feel that same self hatred often, I'm trying to unlearn it... and you don't need to hate yourself for having a different brain either. We will figure it out. And you are amazing. Don't shame yourself for "being behind" in a race when you've lived life with one hand and one foot tied behind your back. You do you. (I'm talking to me too)
@@katrinaxharhus3747 wow. Thank you for that ❤️
That happened to me a lot 😩 I was smart af for sure but couldn’t focus
my mom says that im not applying myself so much when im trying to but my brain is blocking me its so hard to force my brain to do something
For anyone with ADHD who has ever heard this:
Know that it isn't your fault. Your brain doesn't work the way everyone else expects. The best thing you can do is get diagnosed (if you haven't already) and work with a professional to determine your best course (counseling, medication, etc) moving forward.
If you are someone seeing a person struggling:
Please NEVER SAY THIS. It isn't helpful and it never will be, even if it is a neurotypical person just "not living up to their potential." It's likely there is something blocking them from doing so. Help them find and overcome their hurdles. Lift them up instead of putting them down.
An example I have from my personal life of how ADHD would affect me as a student (note I wasn't diagnosed until about age 40):
Sitting at the dining table with math homework in front of me, just staring at it, really wanting to start it, but being unable to. For 2 hours. Never actually did it. Important context: I am really good at math. This stuff wasn't hard for me to do and if I could have just started, I would have been done in about 20 minutes.
My ADHD gives me a crap memory, but that one is absolutely seared into my brain and for a long time was an example to myself of how lazy and undisciplined I was. Decades later I finally understand that isn't true. Instead I lacked the brain chemicals at that moment to start doing the work and no amount of willpower would have changed that. I'm not lazy. I'm not undisciplined. I'm not a failure. I just have a condition that hampers my success in some areas.
This is one of the videos that made me realize I have ADHD. Unfortunately by the time I even realize I'm not stupid, lazy, irresponsible and all those horrible things I was already in my late 30s, graduated from university, struggled my whole life and have depression. I wish I was diagnosed earlier, it would have made such difference.
Same here. I always wonder what life would have been like had I been diagnosed as a kid. 😢
i would recommend "spending a day with people with social anxiety disorder" because its often shrugged off as "everybody gets anxious sometimes in public" or "everyone is insecure" when its so much more than that.
notes from a person with ADHD: Not everyone with ADHD has hyperactivity. And the reason fewer women are diagnosed is that fewer of us have hyperactivity and obvious symptoms and doctors just call us "overactive", etc.
I believe a no longer accepted diagnosis is also ADD (attention deficit disorder). I was clinically diagnosed with ADD 15 years ago but ig that's no longer a thing
@@yohans232 it’s just ADHD but the inattentive kind
@@mariabrandt6178 ADD is an outdated term per multiple sources. But yeah I agree
i agree! as someone who was recently diagnosed, my peers that were told i had ad(h)d were pretty suprised. since i was highly shy in class and quiet in my friend group. adhd comes in many shapes and sizes
Yeah I’m the opposite in public and at home I’m more hyper. I’m basically a selective mute at this point.
It’s so hard that the media even questions the reality of ADHD, while it litterally affects my entire life from not being able to follow conversations to having no real sense of time, to being paralyzed while only being called lazy, unmotivated and quiet. I’m really thankful that you go more in depth and spread awareness!
Perfect description, my dude 👌🏻💙
Exactly!
Ive just learned to mute those pepole most of the world is degenerants lazy unmotivated pepole which is what their calling us but when the world is collpasing like it is now all presures off and now its time to focus on goals but the world keeps forcing to do shit thats aganist the goals which is why my ADHD self is overwhelmed Ive just come to accept the world is designed to fail and to play with the cards I was delt and beat the odds even if it means going through a gauntlet
This video honestly made me cry, it’s such an accurate representation of what adhd is
I never realized how much adhd has held me back in life. Getting diagnosed at 24 was like a life crisis and sense of relief at the same time.
I completely agree! I got diagnosed just over 6 months before turning 24 (almost been a year! 🥰) and when the medicine was shown to work and my friends pointed it out (in a supportive way since I’m horrible at noticing things about me) I literally started crying because to me it was just that feeling of “I wasn’t crazy, there was actually something wrong!” And it felt so great to just KNOW and not feel like I was going insane thinking there was something wrong and being told there wasn’t.
@@TabithaDarkDreamer I’m happy you have a wonderful group of supportive friends! ♥️😭They diagnosed too quick for comfort but TH-cam has really helped me understand my downfalls and habits aren’t because I’m lazy or just not cut out. Medicine helps me too it was like a light turned on. it’s nice to have a community here and learn how we can rewire things adhd has embedded in us and not feel bad about it. Huge sense of relief 🥲
It's exactly what I'm feeling right now! I got diagnosed not even 24hrs ago at 23yo😭
1s 24 years a magical age that so many of us got diagnosed then 😭😭😭
@@VerticalTV_ I know wtf!! On multiple adhd videos i always see someone start off with “ I wasn’t diagnosed until recently at 24 so…”
I wonder what that’s about
"alien rat child wandering around a corporeal plane" *I felt that.*
Saame
mood
As a person ho has adhd, I will now call myself that
I think that is part of the dissociation, cause I 100% feel that way in the morning when I wake up, before I get flooded with thoughts I don't even feel myself.
As a person with ADHD, I found it quite difficult to even get through this video. The one thing that really resonated with me was always being told "You have so much potential, you just need to apply yourself." People don't understand that we are prisoners of our own minds. ADHD honestly feels like torture most days for me. My brain is my worst enemy. 😭
Did you ever have situations where ADHD is screwing you over but you now know how to get past it? I didn’t get any check ups so idk if I have stuff that’s undiagnosed or not but I’m in a shitty and hopefully relatable situation so I’m wondering if I can go to you for advice.
That sentence should be on the official ADHD tests, especially in adult diagnosis.
I could scream with fury every time I remember the countless versions of 'but you're so intelligent, you're just not trying hard enough'...
for me it feels like that often , especially when I'm around my older cousins and most of my aunts and uncles and relatives. I have so much potential but I get so angry when anyone and everyone tries to limit me . limit my creativity and try to micro manage my life cause they treat me like a incompetent child cause of my adhd . ill show them all and beat my adhds challenges and become the best at whatever I do
@@twentyonetortas5921 it depends on what sitch or sitches you're in or going through. I am pretty good at giving advice of you need any . especially on adhd and such . I have adhd btw .
@@craftylilhandses I have been diagnosed with it since I was a kid . now it propels me to pursue a music career and be the first ever Lebanese girl with adhd lyricist . and to become the greatest at whatever I do and whatever I want to do and be
We with ADHD try so hard in all aspects of our lives - work, school, relationships, our own home life - and are told we're not trying enough by neurotypical people who don't see the massive amounts of internal energy and effort it takes for us to fight our brains, to try to be neurotypical, only to end up reaching their perception of 'bare minimum.'
Thank you so much for talking Jessica. My recent diagnosis of ADHD with autism as a comorbidity has lead me to her videos. She has gained a massive understanding of how our tribe functions. Hearing her explanations through research have been validating my entire life where I'd always thought I was the problem. That I was broken. That I had behavioral issues I could drop to be compliant with society if I chose to.
It hurts so much to give something your all - even just getting out of bed can be a lot - only to be told "I'm sorry, but your best isn't good enough," like my previous manager told me last June. We're also told, "Why can't you just---" insert literally any activity/behavior neurotypicals see as normal here.
I hate the word 'Just,' because it simplifies everything. It makes it seem like the task that 'Just' is applied to is something everyone can do, but we can't because - in their eyes - we choose not to. When in reality, we try. We really, really try.
And because we can't do it, we're perceived as failed humans. We're surrounded by people who think this, so at a very early age, we start to internalize it. The first time I remember being unable to "just do it" was when I was 4, and had a meltdown during Star Tours at Disneyland in 1985. I was overstimulated, had no idea what was happening, everything was a jumble of information I didn't understand forming a ball of chaos inside me and it overloaded me. My brain "shorted out." All I could do was scream and hold onto my aunt's neck. She had a crick in her neck for the rest of the day because of me.
And yet, I turned into a huge Star Wars and sci-fi nerd. I'm editing the manuscript of a sci-fi novel I wrote. Let me tell you, focusing to write is INSANELY HARD. This book would have been done 2 years ago instead of taking over 4 if I either didn't have ADHD, or had medication and help.
Damn this made me cry a little. The part where she says how she felt behind in life really hit me
😔my son has ADHD, he says that too.
same here!!! I always feel like i'm desperately trying to catch up to everyone. I wonder what life is like without adhd & how people are able to seemingly stay on top of everything all the time...😅
Right!!!! Ugh in the feels
I feel that, there’s some moments where I feel like I missed something that everyone else knows and just didn’t tell me, it can be really hard sometimes.
me too :’)
The "gifted student" part really hit home for me
Ik right
I asked my school counselor on my first session with her that I think I might have adhd, she just laughed and said don’t be stupid
I don't know if I have adhd, currently in the process of trying to understand (with a professional), but I have always pushed away the distractions I had at school because I could learn everything very quickly and my grades were good so no one really saw a problem
"I feel so behind" This hits me hard constantly when friends from high school post anything about their lives. I just constantly battle with feeling worthless and lazy.
It indeed effects EVERYTHING.
Dude what she described is exactly how my classwork goes. I get behind in one class and then have to do all the classwork and catch up in the one. Then I get overwhelmed and end up doing none which then puts me even further behind... 😭😭
Holy shit facts
@@mackreed4856 I do that too and I hate it so much. 😭
Let's all make sure we commit to working with a psychiatrist. We don't have to feel like this!
@@kwiggy5091 i’m seeing one for the first time on the 24th 👉😌👉 Hopefully we’ll see some progress
The genetic thing is important.
I was 74, moving house, and finding my inability to organise myself extremely frustrating, to the point that I sometimes felt like crying. I realised that, when I had moved nearly 40 years earlier, I'd followed my wife's instructions -- and taken over in the crises. I could do those.
A few weeks after completing the move, I read an article by a woman diagnosed in her 40s, when she suddenly couldn't cope any longer with a high pressure executive job (and growing alcoholism!)
Apart from alcohol, and the fact that she was rather sporty, most of what she said applied to me, though perhaps more mildly.
Then I began to think...
My brother was picked at school as being pretty bright, but... They moved him into a high intensity class, so he wouldn't be distracted and forget to do his work.
My dad nearly killed himself the day I was born by taking a shortcut to the hospital up a 30m quarry face, and sliding in loose gravel near the top. He still couldn't resist cliffs when my kids visited in school holidays. He had difficulty regulating emotions. Started building projects at 10pm -- and tended to hop from project to project, with long periods of interspersed inaction.
Then there was my grandfather, dad's father. Everyone liked him. He was open, talked to everyone, got a bravery medal in WWI by being the corporal who dashed into no man's land under fire to carry a wounded comrade back to the trenches -- but everyone said, "He's such a bull at a gate!" If he thought before he did something, he wouldn't have to do it twice!"
Me? I spend all morning wondering what I'll do today. I must have four things in mind.
I'll leave at 3 pm -- four times, because i have to go back for phone... shopping bags... the prescription I intended to fill.
It took a while to persuade a doctor to refer me for testing. I have three degrees. I had steady employment all my working life, sometimes more than one job at a time. And i was never into sports. I just get lost in Wikipedia/Facebook/the latest history of Australian settlement.
The doctors didn't even ask me why I thought I have it.
It was nearly Christmas when i got the referral. I decided to call straight afterwards, and put the referral on my coffee table.
I had visitors. I tidied up. I can't find the referral now.
My second son is much the same.
Yes, genetics can indeed play a role. Your biggest assets now are your intuition and your desire to know. Call the doctor and ask them to mail you a reprint of the referral (it’s harder to lose in an envelope-😉
I was evaluated in my 40s. Working closely with doctors on finding and adjusting medication if needed, coupled with Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and most importantly, a decision to enjoy the heck out of who I am, AS I am, have all given me tools to live an improved life.
I wish you many PLEASANT self-VALIDATING (even crying with grief or relief can be so cleansing) surprises on your journey, wherever it takes you!❤
I am also 74 and just diagnosed. My symptoms are very much like yours.
Yes, genetics play a major role in the nature of ADHD, but environmental factors play a significant role too. The chance of inheritance if one parent has ADHD is about 25%, or 40% if both parents have it, so luckily you're unlikely to have passed it onto your own children. It reminds me of my family, where only a minority have ADHD, and the rest cannot and never have been able to relate whatsoever.
Understanding that your brain is inherently impaired reassures you that it isn't your fault, especially when taking into account the genetic nature of the condition.
“Timelines are really hard for me”
I’ve never felt something so deep in my life. I get so frustrated when I can’t specifically remember something that happened to me or my family member. Like I know I was there but the date, time, and context of that event are either fuzzy or completely gone. I was utterly shocked when I found out people remember every aspect of their childhood. Like I’m 20 and I can only remember stuff from when I was 9 and older, and only hardly. Like how?!?!?! Weeks and months either feel extremely short or extremely long and with staying home every single day, everything just meshes together.
Omfg dude same! I didn’t even realize that’s part of adhd.
same!!!!!!!!!
It's part of ADHD's poor interoception. We don't measure time the same way and we often have TIME BLINDNESS as a result. We literally do not notice the difference between 1 minute passing and 5 minutes passing. This makes it nearly impossible for us to be on time to appointments or dates or outings with other people.
yes that is such a common symptom! i forgot so many memories from my childhood
I remember this bothered me so much as a kid. Whenever my sister did something or called me something, she wouldn’t remember saying it and would tell me the exact date and context of when she said it. It made it so frustrating because I could remember her insulting me but not when she did or the context. 😓 I don’t think she realized how upsetting it was though because she also had ADHD and couldn’t remember things like that either 😅
i got diagnosed with ADHD in september at the age of 21 and i literally said to my doctor "i thought i was just getting dumber." hearing some of the things said in this video as a senior in college, it reminded me that i'm not a failure and i'm not "not applying myself," my brain is just wired differently which makes it more difficult to pay attention to my class material. thank you for this episode :)
even though i was diagnosed super young, i didn’t know the extent of adhd and took the name at face value my whole life and thought symptoms that weren’t just hyperactivity and focus issues were just me being stupid and i beat myself up about it until i only recently learned that there’s a huge adhd iceberg that i had only seen the tip of. it’s so validating to be given a reason as to why you’re “like this” and i’m glad you got your diagnosis
“... it affects our ability to sleep...”
Me, a person with ADHD, at 3 AM: Well, now that you mention it...
Aaaaw lmao
Me watching this at 3:45am like “huh, how interesting” like this isn’t my everyday life lmao
I feel this on an unhealthy level. I literally have stayed up until like 4 am when I had a class at 8 am the next morning.
2am here, I'm exhausted and I know I gotta get up "early" but am I going to bed? nope. I'll just continue to jump from one video to the next and get on random topics. I started out searching up how two people can listen with their own earbuds to the same device...smh
not me watching this at 4:30 AM lmao