Learning To Feel Again - Living a Life With Passion For Women Over 60
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- Feeling numb and without motivation? You are not sad, you just don't feel anything? What is it? How can you stop it? Mild to moderate anhedonia is something that is striking women over 60 at an alarming rate and after getting letters about it I want to discuss it. I read 3 medical research papers on it and then just sat down and saw my own symptoms. I discovered the two main reasons doctors feel mature women suffer from just feeling nothing at all and it made sense. I found it to be fascinating, intriguing and so helpful to my own well-being.
For so long I have swept many things under the rug...and I realize that once you start sweeping...you sweep until it's spotless..and then....you are numb. That is not safe. That is not living.
Isolation and unresolved grief are problems we can conquer one day at a time.
My love to you,
I hope you enjoy the video! It was 88 degrees out when I was filming so I don't look my best ( I WAS MELTING!!)...I can't have my air on when I film because it's too noisy! But I did my best.
Have a wonderful safe happy new week and know how much Desi and me appreciate you and look forward to your every word.
The best part of my week is reading your comments and feeling honored you are here. We have one great group of gals and gents here and we are just getting started!!!
Nobody is going anywhere!!
Love you all so much, Susan & Desi
When you're in survival mode, you numb yourself.
Clemantine Wamariya
I swear, this light looks just like the light of 1993 ,
the year I met Bill
It dances
and is joyous
and it has such a beautiful sense of humor
but you have to be careful
it's dangerous"
my life Susan
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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Things You See In The Video
Red Poka Dot Dress - go.magik.ly/ml...
Red is sold out but I will keep looking!
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Favorite Mac Lipstick - go.magik.ly/ml...
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Foundation
TIRTIR Mask Fit Red Cushion Foundation - No.1 Choice for Glass skin,
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EYESHADOW - I love this palette and I hope they don't ever discontinue it. Great for a light look but you can also go dramatic!!
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#Over60Lifestyle #survivingdivorce #losingaspouse
Hahaha I commented before the end of the show grinders papers and pipes!! 😂😂
That is a marijuana store!! 😂
Oh my! What is a grinder? I thought maybe it was a medical store....xxoo Big Hugs!!! Susan & Desi ( Gangsta)
In some states Grinders are big sandwiches.
I did too!
You are amazing, women are the worst at cutting each other down, destroying others, with hurt, words...
I love the old saying,”No matter how you feel: Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up, and Never Give Up! “😊
I'm from Ireland. I've lived alone for years. Watching your videos has inspired me. I got the courage to move house at 67,look after myself,start to wear make up again. I'm not invisible any more. Yes life isn't easy but I now have motivation. You are a beautiful woman. I'm so glad I found you. Thank you.
My mom was born in Ireland 🇮🇪 ❤
@ViYoung-os4kv I too am Irish born and bred but living in Vancouver. I applaud you, finding the courage to make change is never easy☘️😊
Wow! You just sum up my life in this video. I didn't know there was a name for feeling numb not to feel pain, grief, brokenness, lonely, and sometimes unloved. When I tried to explain to a few friends how I felt. They simply said I was too needy. So, I closed myself up physically and emotionally. I went through so much after my ex-husband left me for another woman. I raised my 4 children by myself. That was 26 years ago. I've been bullied at work, been through horrible sickness, and cancer. So after going through all of these horrible things and my few (3) friends telling me I was playing the victim or being needy, I just became numb. I lost 3 nephews under the age of 32 in the past 3 years. Losing my father, aunt, and dealing with so much grief, it pushed me a little closer into isolation. I exist. I don't live life. I feel like a robot going through the daily motions. I also take care of my 81 years old mom and my 54 years old brother with dementia. Sorry, it's such a long comment. I usually don't comment, but tonight, the video spoke about me. There are things I'm grateful for my 6 grandchildren and my adult children. And God, without Him, I probably wouldn't be here. Thank you for sharing. ❤
I think your friend are disgusting! Hope you ditch them and love yourself like the best friend you ever had. You have plenty of reason to feel what you have felt. What selfish ugly people they were to treat someone suffering and grieving so terrible. Wish I could give you a hug.❤
We matter to God, for sure, and we can carry Him along with us wherever we go! The Holy Spirit will be a friend truly closer than a brother. You are so very valuable to Him! I loved reading your comment-regardless of the length! ❤️ I agree with Aya! Ask God for new friends…He will do it! Wish I could hug you too!
I’m so happy you rely on our Heavenly Father for support, his words of wisdom and love are real and alive when we read the Bible plus it gives us hope for our future ❣️
@@delladearest2511 Amen!
You spoke right to my heart. I have felt numb, invisible, and lonely for the past few years. It’s good to know that I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Unresolved grief is the silliest thing I have heard. Grief is the price we pay for loving someone. I wouldn’t change that for the world. My daughter would be 51 next month. She died when she was 7 from leukemia. My son was killed 11 years ago. The pain never goes away. I just have more time between the pain as I get busy with life, but it hurts just as much when ithe thoughts creep in. I have a saying on my wall “life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. Its about learning to dance in the rain.” Hope this helps someone.
I worked in the Medical Profession for 53 yrs and one of my nurses gave me a wonderful hand drawn picture with the following words.....If you are going to walk on thin ice ....you may as well Dance...there is a beautiful Ballerina drawn in this picture!! I just adore this saying!!!!!
In a matter of 3 months I lost both my dogs. One minute I have these 2 beautiful dogs sleeping with me, following me around the house, even into the bathroom..lol and now nothing. I am an active person involved in women groups so I'm out of the house a few days a week, but when I leave I think, make sure you shut the doggy door. I look over there and of course its already closed and has not been opened. I would come home to two excited dogs seeing me and now no one. I still cry over both of them, some may think that's dumb, but only a true dog lover know's the pain. I know I will get another dog but giving it a little time before I start that beautiful journey again.
I know that pain. We've always had dogs & cats and I have loved them all more than most people! Go rescue a dog from the pound. Ours are free!it We gave them a donation. Came with spay, all vaccinations & ear chips. The joy is back!
The loss of a pet is gut wrenching. I have lost quite a few myself and it takes me such a long time to “get over it”. So sorry you are going through this.
Susan you look at least twenty years younger. You love nature, decorating, music, dogs, and art. Those interests keep you young in spirit.
Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Cheick is in the mail Linda!!!
I was just thinking the same thing watching her 🙌✨🌹
Yes, however this blossoming of creativity, stems from a spiritual root! ❤This is one of the very best videos that Susan has created for us! Deeper, higher, wider, is the eternal Love of our Fathet God!!
Susan, you are an inspiration!! Thank you so much, from a divorced woman who tried to avoid her feelings by numbing out with food and by putting on this thin mask of superficially!! We free ourselves beyond survival into thriving!! God bless you! ❤
Absolutely agree! Ms. Susan is Gorgeous and a Beautiful Soul😍☺😇
I have to say you sure look great😀. Have a great wedding week.
You’re NOT FAT! You are beautiful, you don’t need to be a broomstick to look pretty!
Amen to that! What I have noticed is that there are quite a few women who are purposely so thin that the bones in their face have sharp edges. Some of them wear clothes that emphasize their extreme thinness and , to me, that is a positively scary look overall. I rather like the mature look of a woman who is , shall we say , filled out . I am a little too “ filled out” and need to be twenty pounds lighter but I have no desire to be a size zero.
Susan:). I honestly think you are at the perfect weight. Those who call you fat are jealous. Please be happy as you are:) It’s good you keep at it. When you get older it’s really hard to lose weight. I lost 20 due to ur encouragement and my doctor was pleased and now I only have to take one medication for my Thyroid. Which he said he may have to decrease in 3 months. Seeing you once a week keeps me motivated!🤗
Disgusting what some ppl say to others they are insecure
Dear Susan, you are the best, don’t listen to the people who want to take your mood down. We love you just the way you are and not only for your looks ( gorgeous ), but for your inside too. You make my day here in the Netherlands every sunday morning and I love it when you are passing by in my life. You really are a poet because you always seem to use the right words to come in to my ❤ Have a lovely week 🥰
We're Not Fat We're Still Alive & Kicking
Feeling invisible, staying inside for days, feeling judged and misunderstood.....all of the above! Thank you for understanding.
You are not alone. ❤
Anna, I am so with you. If you can, go for a walk, talk to neighbors, meet someone for lunch or whatever. Do that a couple of times a week. Please stay connected. You are not alone in this, I assure you. Much love to you and blessings too.
@stellajohnson5301 thank you for replying! It's nice to know others are there and understand. I do engage with seniors around my area and the occasional neighbor, but I'm really missing the personal connections! Life takes us thru trials. I'm a believer and know I am never alone. But we all crave connection to humanity. God bless you and your journey 🙏
As the others have said, you are not alone! I'm feeling the same way. I need to take all the experience, strength & hope and apply it to myself. I know how hard that is. With love.
I'm so glad I watched this video today to learn that there are others out there like me. I am feeling that way now, too--numb. I had a couple hours to finally get out of the house today, but, lacking motivation, I couldn't decide where to go. I ended up not leaving the house after all. I'm in my early 60s, have four kids, one of whom has boomeranged back home, have a husband, and a dog, and work from home, as well as watch my grandkids two full days a week, and yet I feel so lonely. My husband is still working too and is gone 12 hours a day. My son's emotional health is somewhat fragile, and I have to be sure he is doing OK. I don't see friends. No one calls. They rarely text. I'm lucky if I'm out of the house for four hours a week (church, grocery shopping, and to the library, mainly). I used to have a dozen very close friends I'd see regularly and could confide in. Now, many of my friends have moved on and either also work or are retired and have lots of free time while I do not. I feel like, other than those people who see me every day because they have to, I could drop out of sight and no one would even know it. I've turned to books and read whenever I can. Books are great, but I'm really missing close friendships. I'm hoping life will change. I have a chronic illness, too, and depression goes along with it, and I'm wondering if this is how I'll feel till the end. Thanks for listening.
Susan, you have a way making everything seem OK. I know I just went through the motions when my husband died. My daughter had gone to prison and six weeks later my husband died. I was still working at the time and raising my 15 year old grandson. I was 65 at the time. My daughter was in prison for 26 months and I continued working until I was 75. My grandson has been with me since he was born and I love him to pieces. At 75 I retired and just three months later the pandemic hit, so I was at home with my grandson for all of that time. Two years ago, my legs decided to not hold me up. I went to the hospital and was there for 5 weeks. I had back surgery while I was there. I've gotten to the point, I don't care what people think of me. I'm now 80 years old and I have really aged in the past two years, but it's OK. I'm doing the best that I can. I use a walker when I go out, but not when I'm in the house. I just feel happy to be alive. People have no right to be insulting to you. You are very beautiful and you will be a great asset to your son's festivities and his wedding. If I could walk better I would feel more confident. Thank you for the words of wisdom and encouragement that you give us every. And give that handsome Desi a pat on the head from me. Thank you. Sending Light and Love to you and all of your subscribers. ❤🙏❤
God bless you! You are a very brave and loving woman!💟
You are such an inspiration with what you have dealt with in your life. I send you so much love and hugs and well wishes.💖
Maureen, thank you for sharing your story with us. I have not had an easy life from the "git go" and for so long I felt like I was the only one not living the "Father Know Best" life. I was completely wrong. Stupidly, as I have worked and grown older, I thought I had gotten wiser. In someways, yes, in others NO. I am estranged from my only son, I have a husband with the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and an autistic daughter who will never live by herself. I wonder why I have ever thought it would be easy? Anyhow, I do join you in your appreciation of Susan. I really do look forward for to seeing you and Desi every week. I love when you document you successes also! You give me realistic hope!
Wow Maureen, what a woman you are! Your family are so lucky to have you x
God bless you! You have been a huge blessing to your family. Now it’s time to focus on your health and happiness. Decide what brings you joy and dive in❤️
Dearest Susan, for sure I shouldn't be surprised at those very sad people calling you disgusting names and saying just awful things to you. However, the majority of us consider you and Desi an extended family that we just like and love. When I goof up and watch too much negative You Tube and get jumpy and scared ( I live alone and am 77 years old) I listen to you and laugh at some of Desi's antics and relax and sleep well. I LOVE Desi's singing! I to have a little abused rescue, Marvin, and he is just a wonderful little guy. Oh, your humor and the things you say to Hal have me laughing again the next day. So, keep smiling, letting us be a part of your life and know how much you have helped us. Love and peace to you and Desi, Carol Gabriel
@@user-of8dm3yk1q Susan, thank you so much for your reply. I am feeling better and realized I do have to go on and make the best of my life. Nobody can do it for me. We just have to get up every day and do it. I always enjoy your videos love from South Dakota.
Why do we become bitter about this season of life?
😊❤ what a great video Susan ! That was so real for me
I ve been on disability for 15 years! lost a few good friends and i agree that getting out is so good for us i've made such great people! We go for coffee and we go thrifting as well! Not being able to go back to work was hard to accept ! But i love my life as a new 60 year old !
My son died 16 years ago, at the age of 33, and left 4 children, he was not married at the time, and left his children their fathers inherent, since 2008, when the children were little, they would see me for a little while, but now they are grown adults, and have a family, and they have forgotten me, or know who I am, I have become numb because I never grieved my son completely and he was my first born. Even my younger son, and his family doesn't see me only if I am lucky once a year - Christmas time. Just making an appointment to see them, they back out at the last moment after I get excited to see my grandsons, I get disappointed so often that I am just what you said, NUMB. I have felt numb for over 16 years now, I just can't seem to feel happy or excited to see or feel anything because if I do, I just get disappointed again and again. It' wasn't worth it. Then there is dealing with a husband that doesn't know how to be happy, he loves to be negative all the time. For me that is sad, I do my best to stay happy but every time I do, I am hit again with disappointment. So again, it's just not worth being happy until I can live by myself in a new environment and have a scenery change. I turned 71 today, the 4th of August, and I really know the one thing that does make me happy is my two paw babies, they love me unconditionally and protect me, and stay close by and we talk, and sing, and they respond just as if they were human. They have never failed me once. I can depend on them, as I love them so much that it does concern me how will I be without them. I love seeing you every week and listen to how your life is so put together, and one day I will have that chance to do the same, and then I maybe will be able to have peace, joy and health they way God wants me to be. Sorry, this is long, but I know that life isn't what it all seems to be.
I’ve noticed that as I age, I don’t ever feel excited anymore. I’m fine, I’m okay . . . I enjoy things . . .but I never rub my hands together and say, “oh boy oh boy”. I chalk that up to age. Maybe something will come along that puts a spring in my step. Maybe not. But there is a steadiness to where I am now and I’m thankful for that.
Sounds like me,Im happy and settled just no excitement
Go out and find your excitement.
Maybe it’s time for a puppy. 😃
@@ahill4642 I just got one! I’ve had him almost 2 months. And what a dear he is!
Hi Susan, you look lovely! A guy friend said to me recently, I don't care what someone looks like, I care about if they have passion or not...
As I'm aging, I noticed that I was becoming hypercritical, so I decided to change that. I still have no family and often feel very alone, but I started painting again and I try to maintain a positive attitude. For myself, first and foremost And, I'm trying to get out and meet people 🙏🌺 🇨🇷 🌺
Good for you for making changes!
Bravo🎉
Getting out is the best thing you can do. Painting is great too. I don't have that talent, but wish I did. Good for you.
So many of us are isolating. I call it self imprisonment. I don't really understand why I do it. I'm 73, intelligent, witty, engaging. People still consider me to be pretty. I put makeup on every day, put my outfit (usually a fitted tank & linen pants) together thoughtfully...including earrings! Some days, that's all I do. I look out of my window at the trees and blue sky, and wonder why I don't have access to them. I do, of course. But I rarely leave my apartment. Then I lament the "loss" of so many years. You have truly encouraged me today Susan. It's not too late to live my life. You are a beautiful woman with curves. Don't lose another pound!
First of all, you look beautiful in your red summer outfit!
You have known pain and understand it. But you have steered a course to acceptance. You open the door to new possibilities .
And you are showing Chris as a role model how to survive older age with grace and joy.
Those who insult you just want you to react because they feel nothing positive about themselves .
You celebrate life, and you offer light to those of us who want to learn how to embrace what we have instead of mourning of what we have lost.
Just thank you for being here.
Well said❤
❤❤❤
Better to have some weight on as you get older.❤
Thank you for being a beautiful, intelligent and empathic person. Your beautiful, soft, kind and radiant face is so warm and expressive. This video summed up perfectly how I have felt since my husband died just over 2 years ago. Less than a year before that, I lost my mum. I also retired early in order to spend as much time as possible with my husband, but in the end, that turned out to be only 1 week. I have re-written my life, volunteering with many local charities, forcing myself out into the world around me, and have made lots of new friends. Despite all that, I have still felt emotionally numb on many occasions. Ironically, a situation at work recently where I was being bullied and gaslighted has finally brought my emotions back. I have found my self respect again, have removed myself from a toxic environment I refuse to be part of, have felt anger, have cried more than ever before, but I feel connected to my emotions again. I strongly feel that the next chapter of my life is going to be filled with lots of positive emotions.
Good on you! You inspire me.
I'm numb today and hope and praying tomorrow will turn brighter and better.
I think some of what we feel, as we get older, is the loss of our youth. There is so much that is exciting about being young and meeting your first love or the man who will be your husband. Then you have your children and there is always something new happening as they grow. If we are alone, when we reach our senior years, it is a new passage of life that is so different than when we were young. I think some of the numbness is actually a defense mechanism that allows us to still move through life and feel at peace. If we are constantly looking for some kind of passion or a new dream it can lead to disappointment and we want to avoid that at all costs. What I am seeking is contentment. If I can learn to be content with my life, then I feel that I will have accomplished something pretty wonderful. Also, I feel that our later years are meant to be in search of spiritual growth. We can learn to think of others more than ourselves. That is something pretty special as well.
You said that so much better than I did. I 100% concur, thank you! 😃❤
Yes I felt numb and empty and so alone when my husband died. I had never been completely alone before then all of a sudden I had no one, no one to talk to, no one to help in time of need, no one to hold me and just let cry. I was devastated and I cried everyday, I prayed for strength everyday. God never let me down,it's been almost four year now and I'm doing fine. I give the glory to God. He was and still is my rock and my strength. My husband died during the pandemic.
The Lord will never let you down. Just turn to Him, and He will be there.
I'm so very sorry for your loss may God comfort you ❤
Comfortably numb I think it’s a song 🎵 so you’re not alone. Try to look at the sunny side of life ❤
I have lived with unresolved, complicated grief and trauma since losing my husband suddenly when I was just 47. It’s 11 years ago now but I’ve never moved on or accepted it. I had another relationship which was abusive. Since that ended two and a half years ago, I have suffered with crippling, life limiting anxiety and depression and have become totally numb, the only thing I can feel is pain and hopelessness. I’m now 58 and don’t see my life changing anytime soon. But I too am desperate to feel again, joy, pleasure, contentment and peace.
I have lived with depression & severe anxiety with panic attacks for many years. I see a psychiatrist & for me medication helps alot. It took awhile to find the right doctor & meds, but they definitely help. I had to change my thought process. I had to change many things about me. It was hard work but well worth it! Hang in there!
I mentioned this to someone else and I hope it is helpful: look at videos about EFT, or tapping. It is a way of breaking a cycle of thinking or despair. It has been helpful to me. It is free and it is something we can do for ourselves.
My ex-husband died in February. My heart is so heavy, my 4 grown children have lost their father, they are so sad,as am I. 10 grandchildren are with out the fun grandpa...life is sad... joy is a gift from God. I am still grieving.
My ex died 5 years ago, and my emotions are so confusing. Our grown children and my granddaughter are still hurting. And so am I. He was my first love.
And you will grieve for years. We had 1 child 3 grands they were the love of his life. We had 20 years and divorced. He died in 1997 at 54. I still dream about him . We were close and I was with him when he died. Even now I grieve hard.
My husband died in january. 47 years of marriage with three children and five grandchildren. We all miss him terribly😢
Oh dear, I am so sorry for your loss...are you ok?
Lean in to Him. He will bind up your wounds and give you His peace to carry on. Tell your grandchildren all about their wonderful Grandpa!!
Just to add to all supporters
We all feel lonely... all deal differently ... if I didn't have the Lord I would be done...
You are a poet and tender soul
I have found that serving others is a great remedy... I drive those who can't to their appointments... ie I am a UBBER for the Lord✝️🥰😆
I would like to feel numb. I live with my daughter and am in the basement alone. I feel so alone. She has no time for me. I get out as much as I can. The aloneness still stands.
You are beautiful inside and out! I’m sorry you get hit with negativity, you definitely don’t deserve it. Thank you for sharing your life.
I'm 64 and stay isolated. People exhaust me because I have had a lifetime of escaping toxic people. My family, friends, husbands, church members, bosses, co-workers and more. Most of those people wouldn't let go of me easily and it was traumatizing escaping stalkers. One of them was my own mother. I am spent emotionally and mentally. My husband and I are retired and we both just stay home. I'm grateful for him. I'm afraid of making friends because I'm afraid they will turn out being toxic also. I feel safe in my cute home that I decorated to make me happy. I enjoy engaging with people at the store or rare random social encounters. But I'm afraid to make long term friendships. It is hard to trust. I have PTSD and get triggered by a lot of people so I have chosen that I'm safe isolated. Thanks for listening. I love your channel. You are a sweetheart. 💗
Boy you just described me!! I'm 64 also, no husband but just moved in with my 88 year old father who has Type 1 diabetes. I so get what you say about toxic people, I am alone because I don't have the energy for the problems. The benefits of having friends at this stage of life does not outweigh the negative. Good luck to you.
@@truthmatters17 Thanks for your reply. I love how you said the benefits don't outweigh the negative. I find I don't have the energy for people's drama. I find a lot of people are addicted to drama and chaos and don't want peace. They can't be helped. I've paid my dues. I just want peace and joy.
@@reneetones2077 yes indeed, they actually PREFER unhappiness!!!
Desi is the sweetest thing! He loves his momma! ❤️
I was going to pass on watching you tonight, and I'm so glad I didn't. You nailed my life. Only. I called it "the magic" is gone. I am finally at the age I can retire but was staying on . I've hated this job for 20 years and finally I decided on Friday that I'm done. I am going to retire at the end of the year. I will find another job to supplement my income, but it will be a happy job. I am going to go to counseling and work at getting the magic back. I want ME back. Loved tonight's message.
Oh you made me cry! You decided to let life in!!!! You are my hero Brenda!!!
Lost my husband almost 4 years ago I’m still grieving I always will he was the love of my life!😢❤
My husband always wants me to go to church with him but I always tell him not today, but after this video I will say O.K. Thank you Susan
I lost my dog on February 10th and our home has not been the same without her. We had her for 10 years and she was my first dog since childhood and it is like a pain of no other so far. She was my constant companion, my loyal baby girl, my protector, and my best friend. We will rescue another but our hearts still hurt. Hold Desi, take lots of videos, take lots of selfies with him, for you’ll be glad you did. Time is helping some but there is a constant reminder that doesn’t seem to go away. We are slowly getting better but we have to put it out of our minds and move forward and she would want that. It just doesn’t help to get swallowed up in it for too long. Oh no we will never forget her or even try to replace her, but we will just try and find joy again and move forward. I loved this video and can so relate to it. We do leave the house and try not to let the pain envelop us from living our lives. ❤ Lov to you and Desi. Thank you for all you do for us. 🙏🏼💞
So sad for your loss but please know, from my experience, that when we open our hearts to a new pet that may really need to be rescued from a shelter or bad home somewhere, that they really need people like us to give them a loving home so I hope you do so soon and you will also find that new pets love for you will help you heal and move forward. Take care
I can relate to this grief so much. Seriously think of adopting a dog/cat from a shelter. You may worry that you are too old to have another dog but there are so many older dogs that even a couple of years of love would be wonderful for them. Yes I know that’s opening up yourself to more hurt but think of the love you can given to another dog that may have not experienced any. Take care. ❤
Oh, your comment made me tear up for my beautiful beloved Bella. I share your pain from losing your special girl. Sending hugs. ❤
I'm so sorry about your dog, I had to put my dog to sleep with cancer over a year ago and I still miss him so much. I have his ashes in a pillow next to me in bed😢💔
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby. I know your pain. My little white fluff ball Lula died on June 6. She brought so much joy to me and to my husband with Alzheimer's who passed just a month later on July 6, four weeks ago today. Such a huge void in my life without them. I can only hope they are somehow together... Maybe watching over me now 💔💔 I'm so sorry you lost your puppy love. Our sweet pups bring us such comfort and joy.
Hello Susan and Desi, I think losing my mom was the hardest for me. I took care of her towards the end of her life. She was very intuitive, and knew when her time was coming. The last 3 months were difficult. When she passed, it was on my birthday. After some soul searching, writing a journal, reading certain books, I got a job that I really enjoyed. I’m retired now, but I have God watching over me. Mom sends me butterflies now and then as a sign. See you and Desi next week Susan.🦋🦋🦋
I lost my mom on Christmas. The year before we couldn't get a turkey bc we assumed my husband would get one from work. That year he did not and l could no longer get one. My mom said she didn't want to come home then. The next year l told her we have a turkey and she seemed excited about coming home. The nursing home sent her to hospital a week before Christmas. They put her in a coma and stopped feeding her or giving her water. I got the flu and for three days l called and begged them to give her water. On Christmas l went there and she looked terrible. I tried to feed her water but it didn't help. She died that night. For years when l heard the song, "l'll Be Home For Christmas," l would cry.
@@heidibee501 That is so sad to hear what you went through. I bet you have held onto a lot of guilt over not being able to get there sooner. It probably would not have helped though. They did similar to my husband, as they realized the end was near and just let him go, as it was kinder that way and not let them suffer. Think of it that way, as it will help you when you think back. I am sure your mum is home with you, in spirit, each Christmas. Sending you love and hugs.
@@heidibee501 I’m so sorry you lost your mom at Christmas! I always felt the need to take care of my mom,but I could never make her happy again. But, I did find my biological father recently and we’re getting acquainted. My mom will always be close to my heart. Heidi, your mom is free now in Heaven and will always love you. Be good to yourself. Take care.
My son passed away in 2009. He was 23.
I was 54.
For years after his death I kept busy working, but was never happy, so when the pandemic hit in 2019, I was so grateful that I could quit pretending I was ok out in public and just stay home…and I’ve been home now for 4 years and I’m feeling exactly as you’re describing it. Numb.
Last Oct. my daughter had my first grandchild. A darling little boy, Noah. You’d think it would be a joyous time for me, but I’m just not feeling it and I think it’s because I have a wall up protecting myself from loving him (or anyone else for that matter) because maybe I haven’t dealt with Alex dying yet?
I’ll be 70 in April, and I feel like my house (and gardening and thrifting) is all I’ll be doing until the day I die and I feel like that may be a lot of long numb years unless I can figure out how to push through it, get past it and get back to loving life and the people in it.
Something comes into my mind and I don’t know if it would be helpful or not. But it almost sounds like you are trapped in a grief cycle. One thing that has helped me is something called tapping (or EFT). There are all kinds of videos about it online and while it seems simple or silly, it is anything but that. It is free and it is something we can do for ourselves.
Don’t let Noah miss out on having a grandma.. ❤
Unfortunately, I truly believe we as women have done this to ourselves. Growing up magazines and the feminist movement shoved so much crap down our throats. Now there's alot of women hating themselves for not being this or that. Just be your best self.❤ Stop judging each other.
We only get one trip of life..enjoy it. Your beautiful girlie.. what others think about you is not your business. Feel it all.
Yesterday i went to a funeral . The couple had been married for 39 years and he passed away one week short of his 67 th birthday . I have been single since 2010 . I cried a for about a month ate lots of haggen doz ice cream , drank lot of wine , i took a lot of baths , ate chocolate cake . Gained 10 pounds and said that is enough for me. I have never cried again not for us. Body shaming is NOT OKAY!!! Who ever body shames you hates themselves. You are gorgeous. STOP listening to vulgar people.
When my husband died l felt wounded and broken. But l had so much to do. When l lost him l lost my tenant, and my job too. My daughter lost the nanny for her kids. I spent five days a week at my daughter's place with the kids. On weekends l was at home with my cats and one grandkid. I had lots of admin work to do and a house to ready for sale. My whole life had to be reworked. I just moved forward, one step at a time. Years later l am busy but happy.
My BFF and I have talked about this subject - our stage of life (60’s) and not feeling true joy. We’re not unhappy, but we long for something to light us up! Don’t you think that a big part of it is we’ve already experienced all the “firsts” such as getting a drivers license, graduating high school/college, becoming an adult, marrying, having children, etc. At this stage now, we have to create our joy, but what is that? It seems elusive. I have reframed my thinking-I am blessed to have the freedom (post retirement) to choose anything that brings me pleasure, joy, happiness. Still it’s an ongoing search. It’s not that I’m unhappy, it just highlights this conversation-where is our joy at this stage? The great thing about us women is that we are strong and resilient and we will not stop searching. Power on, sisters! ❤
I 100% agree. At this stage of life we have accomplished many goals, we've experienced many joys and many sorrows but we're still here. It's up to us to find joy and a sense of purpose as we age. I would be lying if I said that I didn't get sad, depressed, and angry but I do my best to pull myself up and get going every day. I am grateful and thankful and I try to refrain from rehashing old hurts and issues. It's just not healthy. Cheers!
@@cwm5316 Yes, same! We can have depressive tendencies and still keep trying to find new joy and purpose at this stage. I’m pretty good at not looking back, and will continue to search for what lights me up now. Cheers to you too!
Yes I can so relate… I put one foot in front of the other but feel absolutely no joy in my life and nothing to look forward to.
Susan my husband passed away recently and I couldnt quite understand why I have been feeling numb. Now I understand. I don't allow myself to feel anymore. I gave up crying also for fear I wouldn't be able to stop. I have stopped socializing also. Hopefully, after listening to you this evening I will have a breakthrough. Thank you for this very important message this evening. God Bless.
I feel that way too....I am so sorry for your loss...much love to you always, Susan
Blessings for you too ❤
@LittlePoet Thank you Susan. God Bless us all.
I cannot believe in this day and age that women still tear women down. Why can’t we make a point of seeing the good in each other and point that out ? I always complement a woman that I see out if I think she’s wearing a beautiful dress or a nice pair of earrings I will tell her that. It is always wonderful to see the reaction. I couldn’t imagine getting joy out of tearing another woman down.
The things I hear TH-cam creators say that people say to them horrifies me.
It is much more rewarding to be kind. Why can’t people see that?
You are a kind beautiful woman who is happy with her life...at peace with yourself. You are not angry and you see a young girl out and tell her you love her dress... because you have a loving heart and being kind is who you are. Being hateful is a way to get out that pain I suppose...I am numb to it and often think a break would be nice. I will be gone for a few weeks for a wedding and I hope to refresh. You are such a bright light to me ...have a wonderful Sunday my friend, Susan
I think the meaness, rudeness, heartlessness, pure hatred that is in people is because of the day and age we live. There is no empathy or respect for people anymore. My husband used to say it has been bred out of people. They can't feel what they don't have, never taught. Praying that will change but... it'll take a miracle from God for that to happen.
I want to write you a letter!!!! It will be a happy, deep, acknowledgment of you and how you have touched me. I just turned 59 and last week someone who is the sweetest, gentlest, most passionate man just showed up when I went to watch live music at a restaurant with dancing. I cannot believe it. I wrote down what my wish list of "what I want in a man" and I am getting most of those things and more I never could have dreamed of. There really are nice men out there who are giving, generous and kind.
Ask the universe for what you are desiring, then let it go, focus on you, hobbies, your pets, reading, singing, dancing, stay unattached to whether they show up or not, keep raising your own vibration and then they will show up. But, they will be more of what you need versus what you want because your higher self, God, your guides, they all know what you REALLY need.
The most wonderful videos, are made by Susan and Desi- I love everyone. Love- and good health my friend!
Yes. That's my belief too. I don't always know what's best for me. But the universe sends things that are even better! Intent. Send it out & wait for it to come, doing everything in your power in the mean time! Thank you for sharing.
Unresolved grief
Feeling numb
Isolation
Yes, I've felt all of it.
Still do from time to time. I cry. It goes away, then comes back.
The worst thing is unresolved grief. My daughter hasn't talked to me in 9 years because I divorced her father10 yrs ago.
Abusive marriage.
Severe control & jealousy. She & her family moved states away. Tell me, how does one cope with the loss of a (adult) child who is still alive? Many lies were told about me.
My only grandchild is her child.
This is unresolved grief, which leads to numbness which leads to Isolation.
It's a vicious circle.
Susan.....thank you for your videos ❤
I’m so sorry 😢, my daughter has estranged herself from us and from God, but I will never stop relying on our Heavenly Father and his word the Bible. He is the glue that keeps me together.
My son's drug addiction drove a wedge between us that resulted in over 12 years of no contact. He has recently come back into my life. He is clean now and I am cautiously hopeful for the future. I had resigned myself to never hearing from or seeing him again in this lifetime. So, you never know. Estrangement from a child is one of the worst pain you'll ever experience.
My husband and I lost all four of our children. They haven’t spoken to us in over 2 years. Our first and only grandchild was born recently and we were not told. We will never meet her.
My youngest son is a drug addict. He's hours away. Battled addiction for half his life. Ever since we wouldn't give him anymore money, only our love & support, he hasn't called or made any attempt to contact us in months. He's homeless. His brother found out online that he's in jail. It is heartbreaking! We pray because that's all we can do. We spent our retirement on rehabs & halfway houses. I can't even count how many. People don't have to die to leave you!
Heartbreaking. Im so sorry!@@KatarinaSophia0795
What a treasure you are to reach out and touch so many women who are trapped in hopeless situations from their trappings that life has given them. God has used you as a blessing to them. Letting them know that all is not hopeless. It is a place we have to get to , to realize that life is not hopeless. God doesn't want us to be unhappy, grieving, and resigned to give up on life. He gives us courage to face each new tomorrow if we will turn it all over to him. God Bless you, for what you do, and all those who feel lost.
Hello Susan. You said it perfectly. I pray every girl who has had pain, by abuse, emotional neglect, being cut down, tossed to the wind, used for money or benefits, mistreated by pure disrespect, and no love or leadership will be blessed today to overcome what the enemy has decided to do to her. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy, BUT GOD! God is our wonderful Rock and He is our first Love and no man on earth can love us like he can. He can give us our hearts desire when we seek the man like him! The man that has a heart craving to please the Lord! He will know then the way to treat that treasured woman.
You look beautiful! You are a true inspiration.
YES!!! Preach it! You are wonderful!!!
Susan, anybody that sends you a negative letter are just jelly of you and how far you’ve come. I think the Internet brings out the ugly in people.❤
I'm finding that working 3 days a week with 4 young girls, teaching them life skills, laughing, and having that connection helps me since my husband died 4 years ago as of this August 1st, 2024.
You look so dewy and beautiful. You are not overweight. You inspire so many.
Hi Susan, I'm Wendy, I live north of you (about 4 hrs across the border on Lake Huron, Ontario.Ca.) I just love your channel, found it 6 months ago.We have so much in common.I had a band in the 80's & 90's. I turned 70 on Apr 28th this yr. We're like sisters from another mother ( who I lost last Sept in her 98th yr.)
You have a gift for calming me down and making me feel there is a chance that I just may get some of my "Wonder Woman" back.I had to say goodbye to my 21 yr old cat that set me back so badly but you are getting me out there again,slowly but surely. I could write you a book ! Don't worry,I won't, I have a bad habit of making it all about ME! You are helping me break that habit. You are so welcoming and sincere I can't thank you enough, Susan. Love from a distant friend.❤ I know your son's wedding will the best it can be, enjoy every minute ,you deserve it! LOVE, LOVE ,LOVE your gown! Till next time, keep smiling. 👋🥳
If you find yourself feeling numb just come to Oklahoma and live with my 85 year old mother for one month. Heck, it might not even take that long. 😂 She is an Oklahoma Farm girl and I have not quite figured out if her life outlook is from losing farm animals, losing parents, losing her husband, growing up as a single child and helping on the farm, learning to cook at a very young age and having to do so for a lot of people who were there working the farm and helping, having 3 children who are honestly great kids but we were a challenge. 😂 But she has this outlook on life that is remarkable really. Here is an example, we lost my Father 3 years ago in June. I know the date as well as I know my own birthdate but this year I didn’t mention it. So I woke up that morning, I was really sad, she had already exchanged some early morning messages with my brothers about my father, some funny memories. So I go into the living room, sat down in my Dad’s recliner and said, I am sad. She said, me too. So we talk, no kidding, for 5 minutes about my Dad. She was typing on the phone while we were talking and then all of the sudden she says, okay, that is enough, enough reminiscing, enough of being sad, we had the moment and now we gotta move on. Dad would not be happy with us for laying around and crying all day long. I was like, good grief, was that even 5 minutes, Dad might want more than 5 minutes! And we laughed and laughed, so hard I was crying from laughing. I go on with my day, looked at my phone and she had told my brothers the same thing on text! “Okay, that is enough remembering Dad, you have your lives, go and live them!” She does all kinds of things, her social calendar at Christmas was very full! I was raised this way with her but I call it, have you moments, don’t make them long, and live your life! Thanks Susan and Desi, have a great week! 💕
Susan, blessed to be married 52 years to my best friend. Long ago, during one of my many times of feeling too large, not as pretty…whatever, he said, Ya know, a woman can be a 10, open her mouth and drop to a 3….and a woman can be a 4, and her personality , intelligence and joy will make her a 12. Never forgot that and now at 72 years young, he still looks at me the same adoring way. As women, we are often so hard and unkind to ourselves in ways we would never visit on others. You are such a compassionate and lovely woman. We see it even if you don’t.❤😊
OMG. Thank you Susan for talking about this today. Today I was talking to my friend about this issue. I bought a brand new car today every body was telling me congratulations and I felt numb to it! I even commented about my lack of emotion to my daughter because she was so excited about my new car. This video is the answer to a prayer I did today asking God to show me, what was wrong with me because I felt so emotionless. I labeled me a woman with a cold heart and questioned if that was normal. As a result of this group I would like to create a group where we can talk about this and heal, emotional healing. Anyone interested?
Hello there!! Thank you so much for being here! You really touched my heart! That numb feeling is hard to put into words...that " flat" feeling. We are not sad or depressed...we just are numb....for me, I do think it's from sweeping so many thing sunder the rug about losing so many friends...and not getting out enough and doing fun things just for me....I have never seen a group for anheronia before! There should be one!!! Loveot you always! Susan & Desi
What an excellent idea - All the best with the group!
I was backing up my car and hit the side of it with a tree today but when saw Desi I got so happy❤
There are so many ugly people that say ugly things. Don’t listen to them. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’re fabulous!
Sending hugs!
💜💜💜
Little Poet, I am isolating. I suffer from chronic pain & severe GI issues. Some days I can't leave the house. And days where I don't want to. I look like I am 7 months pregnant, the bloating is so bad. Don't want people to see me! This is chronic. It's not going away! My quality of life is far from what it once was. I have beautiful clothes that I can't wear. I wish I was numb. Wouldn't feel the pain! But my joy & passions are affected. I say the serenity prayer. I'm finding it hard to accept! Medicine is great for acute issues, but awful for chronic ones! I try not to complain,yet here I am! Thank you for allowing me to say how I really feel. Much love to you & Desi & all the lovely women on your channel. 💜🌻🏡📸
Please research NoCarbLife. It is a channel that is about Carnivore diet helping so many sick people. I can say My spinal pain is gone. Our Medical system has failed so many.
Thank you!
I was going to suggest that, too!
Low carb has helped me a lot.
Oh wow!!! Susan, I didn't realize that I have been living numb!! Crap on rye, this sux😳!!! What the heck am I doing to myself??!!! I work hybrid, 3 days home, 2 in the office. I've stopped going for walks, going to the beach, going to my favorite book store, strolling through a mall, more importantly I've stopped going to church!! I've been doing church online...remote...like my job!!! I have become invisible by my own doing! I have become too comfortable with this blank existence 😔!!! Numb!!! I have become fricken NUMB!!! Susan, I am grateful to you for this vlog. It was a slap in my heart!! I've only myself to blame. By the Grace of Almighty God I have to wage war within my mind and spirit to free myself from numb! I'm 68 years old and I've lost me!!! Crap on numb!!! Good Lord, what am I doing to myself!!! If I have become this numb now, what's going to happen when I retire! Oh heck NO!!!
❤ Love you Susan. Sending you hugs from NJ ❤
I am 68 and so glad you posted this thankyou😊
PRECIOUS Susan, You are beautiful inside & out !!! As a 69 year old woman I have been struggling with loosing my youthful . looks. I need to remind myself often that my real worth lies in my heart and the way I show love to others. As we all age, the most important trait that anyone can have is a BEAUTIFUL HEART !!! God Bless you & your sweet little Desi .
And youthful health
For the last, at least 8 yrs I've felt this way. I couldn't tell you the last time I felt excited or why. Its not even depression, it's just....nothing. Life is so hard.
Susan, I have never understood why some people think it’s their purpose in life to insult someone else. My kids tell me that it shouldn’t matter what other people think and not let what they say bother me. I must’ve raised strong resilient kids somehow. Some wounds are very deep. I’m not numb. Sometimes I wish I was. This is a very difficult time for of the year for me. Unfortunately. If I were to explain it might cause unnecessary pain to others. I will say this though. I was adopted in 1951. My biological mother kept me for over a week while making one of the hardest decisions she ever had to do. Eventually the decision was made and I am not now or ever was angry or upset towards her. There’s a very intelligent Canadian psychologist that has stated numerous times. The body remembers. He’s correct. Our bodies do remember whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. We can’t get away from it but we can acknowledge it, feel the pain, so we can let it go again. It might come back and we do it again.
I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive all my life and I probably am but here’s my response. If given the choice, I would much rather be too sensitive than be a cold stone with no ability to feel at all.
I apologize if I brought up any sad memories. I was able to have 3 amazing kids and 8 amazing grandchildren so I’m not sad about being adopted. I’m merely saying that sometimes the body, soul and mind remembers and I don’t think that’s all that bad.
Much love to all who come to Susan’s lovely channel when she invites us into her home and life. ❤️
Me, too. I knew who my parents were. They took care of me when I was sick, read me bedtime stories & held me when I was upset. Taught me right from wrong. I always knew how much I was wanted & loved.
I celebrated 2 birthdays. The day I was born & 6 weeks later the day they adopted me. I knew how brave my biological mother was to give me up. Never had the inclination to go looking for her.. I was a happy child. Being a parent is about so much more than birthing a baby!
@@marilynmontgomery4579 thank you ❤️
I was shocked when you said someone said … why don’t you lose weight? How rude and wrong! Last week when you were modeling your dresses … I thought you looked wonderful in them! You actually have a waist! I sure don’t! I am 76 soon 77 and was always tall and thin! Then middle age hit … I gained that dreaded additional weight around my middle and shrunk my height by 3.5”!
As Dean Martin would say in one of his songs, Isn’t that a kick in the head? 😮
You certainly do not look 70! Okay …. I’m better … really upset me someone would write that!🥰
Wonderful Vlog … Desi is SO handsome!
Till next week girlfriend …! 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸
I've never seen any comments that she's fat.
Wow! This describes me to a "T"!!! I lost my husband 8 yrs ago from brain cancer, but still miss him alot! Ever since he has passed, I feel empty, numb, joyless, etc. Especially this past year it really feels different! I have 3 kids but they seem to be too busy to care and I don't want to burden them so I keep alot of feelings inside of me. I would love to go see a counselor, but my oh my, they cost and I am also struggling financially. Some days I wonder what is my purpose anymore. Thanks for explaining the name for this feeling.
I don't pretend to know how you feel but I wonder if it would help to go out with a friend or two in a similar situation. Just to dinner or a hike or something. There has to be thousands of women who feel the same way. I wonder if they wish someone would ask them to go do something.
I have days of feeling “flat” too. I retired 8 years ago - and over time family and friends have either passed away or moved away. What I really have missed was buying new clothes and shoes to wear to work and other social events. Especially shoes ( shoe people will understand.) A few weeks ago I saw some really cute shoes I would have loved to wear to work ….and then I thought why not? So I bought them, and have hopes I’ll be wearing them soon. Nice to have anticipation again. Even at 73 I’m still a shoe lover. Love to you and Desi❤
Susan, PLEASE block those negative people. You are real, and your joyful spirit irritates their miserable soul. Bless it and release it.
Anhedonia is a severe condition that describes a near-complete absence of enjoyment, motivation, and interest. A core feature of depression, clinical manifestations of anhedonia can include deficits in experiencing pleasure, approach-related motivated behavior, and learning how to match expectations to the environment. ❤
Thank you for introducing this. I'll ask my doctor about it. I can relate because of 3 very close deaths in only a couple years including my darling little dog. Whoever puts you down, just remember it's them who have the problem!
You're glowing and look so young!❤
xo to you and Dezi
I am learning all of this...I was shocked there was a name for what I felt...what I deal with at times...that dull ache that I am behind a curtain to protect myself...like burnout and a but of self-care...but not positive. It keeps me from the world! Much love to you!!! Susan
@LittlePoet
I have this and didn't realize it until you spoke about it. I'm going to mention it to my Dr. She said she can't find any good men here. I can't either. We're lonely and I feel it's dangerous for myself. I was Extremely social. Around the best men. Had many friends. Now nothing but me. I'm going into a depression I've never experienced
I have been suffering for years. Never knew about Anhedonia. I intend to ask my psychiatrist about it next appointment. Total lack of motivation. Some days I don't want to shower!!
.This is something different. I could see where you could think this is just depression! I don't even want to shower some days! T. Some days I donhank you for giving it a
name.
You look great. I couldnt even wear a dress no waist😂just live your life. After 70 every day is a gift. I just choose not to see people yet we are all just glad to still be here. Sociatal bs is just that. When you love people we dont care if they are😢bald or fat. We just are thankful they are here🎉😊❤
Thank you Susan for your insightful, thoughtful impute. Your opinion is so appreciated for myself and so many others.
You are a beautiful lady in all ways.
Yes, after my husband of 51 years passed away I felt numb for quite awhile. It has been almost 8 years, and I no longer feel numb, because 14 months ago I met this wonderful man. We were planning on traveling this summer together and then his work contract was extended 3 extra months, and I found out that I have a meningioma which is wrapped around my optic nerve of my left eye. So the traveling together this summer went right out the window. But....even with all this negative stuff going on, I do not feel numb. I am still optimistic about the future, because I have a good man to love, and love me. That makes all the difference in the world for me. Those who would say they'd rather be alone in their later years have no idea what someone special can do for your outlook on life, even when you are going through tough times.
Thank you Susan, you bring joy and warmth into our lives each week. ❤
Dear Susan, my cousin who is 59 seems to be hoing through the same numb feelings. 🤔 She lost her husband last year, and her sin struggles with drug addiction and to top it off her daughter has a mental illness. She told me she cannot cry and feels numb and has no motivation. She is getting therapy now thank God. 😊 She has a beautiful soul and one of the most positive people I know. ❤️ Yes, being kind to ourselves and working through our pain and suffering instead of putting it in a box is so imprortant. There is no shame in crying and allowing us to grieve. However we need to be together and talk about what we are going through. Blessings to you Susan.
I love to cook...
So I cook or I bake and I share a little with my neighbors sometimes....this beings me joy, it forces me to socialize a little, and it puts a smile on Everyones face !!!
Let's face it as we get older we all have pain and grief and we all have lost someone we love.... You cannot dwell on it.... And the best way to put joy in your life is to do something for someone else!!!!
At this age we have all had pain sorrow and lost someone we love..... That's life, you can't dwell on it.... The best way to put Joy back into your life is do something for someone else!!!
You were spot on today 😊 Look forward to your weekly videos . Breath of fresh air on a Sunday morning 🌻
Susan: Jealousy is an ugly thing displayed by ugly people. Those criticizing you can only wish they were as beautiful as you. You have such an outer and inner glow. Keep doing what you're doing. It's certainly working for you.
After reading these comments about not feeling the joy of life for so many people, I feel very sad. Wonderful people who have given so much of themselves to others but now feel forgotten or an afterthought. We were there when our parents, in laws and children needed someone. We drove sick family members to the doctor, brought over a hot meal to a niece or friend that just had a baby. We never forgot to send a birthday card. We did it out of love, it was our pleasure to help out. In some ways we were teaching the younger generations the importance of family. I think much of that connection is gone, family members scattered all over the country. I live alone after divorcing my abusive husband. My children live in three different states. My other family members live over an hour away.
We all have cell phones and computers, it could be so easy to stay in touch. We get busy with work and day to day activities, we don’t take the time to communicate. Then that person has died. What a small thing to have called that person to say hello and what joy that person would have received from a simple phone call. It is no wonder so many of us have lost the joy of living.
❤
Yes a phone call from a friend can mean just so much. In a world of such technology, communication is rare. Saying that seems strange.
I can relate to numb and depression... I'm in my 70's also but I guess I've been living in a different dimension... I didn't know there were that many cruel, hurtful people.. Calling others fat or degrade others is disgusting... I was raised to treat others - as you would want to be treated... Everyone has flaws but others shouldn't draw attention to them... You my dear have a beautiful soul and you make my day - to hear all your love pour out... You and Desi are soooo enlightening ~ Love your garden and adventures ~ you looked so gorgeous in each outfit and can't wait to see the final dress next week...
Good morning, I just watched your video on the TV. You mentioned that a watcher had the nerve to tell you that you are fat and that you should go on a diet! MY GOSH! Really !!! Someone would watch a show and then take the time to write out nasty words on a screen to someone who is out there trying to help people. You just have to wonder what causes that type of hate. I needed to boot up the computer and type to you... I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO READ THOSE words from someone in a painful life. Some positive words for you to read: THANK YOU...THANK YOU...for taking the time to do your show and for wanting to help others. You make a positive difference in people's lives. THANK YOU for being there for people.
You are a treasure. No one shares like this. So helpful. Yes, when I keep out pain, I can't feel anything, so I have to allow some time in my deep hurts to be able to open to some joy. It helps to say to myself that I did the best I knew how at the time, and so did the others, then release us all. And BTW that dress looks fab on you, what lovely shoulders.
Ur Beautiful in every way, Susan💕 I can’t believe you brought up this subject as I was just thinking about it today and actually for years now that you mentioned it! I felt very young until my early 60’s. Now you put ur finger on it-I’m numb…Just no excitement, no physical friends. I look forward to seeing you once a week and I have one other “close” video friend. She has a huge family and they are all so close. But she does not have a girlfriend her age but is close with her sisters, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren! I don’t have that. I’m almost 73 and see my son once a week. Rest of the time I’m home-alone. So unlike the very popular girl and woman I used to be. If you have seen the weather reports you know FL has a tropical storm-soon to be -praying not-a hurricane. I’ve been a stick in the mud since hurricane Ian flooded me. You can’t escape these types of storms-moving west to east and south to north. So I pray. 🙏 It’s hard to be happy and bubbly with this lurking about. I’m just at an awkward age. If I were looking like you I would maybe, very possibly be looking for romance but I have no desire now. Ur deep thoughts and smile and ur fashion and makeup make me smile. I think I’m comfortably numb. ( Pink Floyd) Even my passion for music is not all consuming as it was. I did push myself to get a haircut and it really looks nice:). Everything going on in the world we have to stay on top of it but I do believe our faith is so important as we age. Anyway I feel better already and tomorrow I will prepare the best I can for the last minute preparations. Maybe we all have unresolved heartbreak that keeps us in that state you mentioned. I’ll just keep going:) Love to you and Desi. I do understand how much you miss Bill. It’s a void no one can fill 🤗🩷🙏
Your videos are so inspirational, especially this one really touched me. I can numb myself when I need to but then I will find many things to feel gratitude for....a sunset, watching the birds eat the seed I put out for them, feeding the stray cats and possums, going thrifting for cool junk for my art, or just reading a good book, hanging out with my dog, even doing dishes and letting my mind wander as I do them. Read physical pain can be a real thing with me and my old knees but the glory I feel when that pain stops and I feel good again is so sweet. I still allow myself to empathize others' pain and can cry for them as I want everyone to feel good but there's a lot of sorrow everywhere. I will look for the good and the sublime though to keep me going otherwise I'd be numb always too. Thank you for your wonderful wisdom. You are a beautiful soul inside and out.
How can anyone look and listen to you and not think "What a beautiful, beautiful woman/ personality"...? Love from the Scottish Borders.
Yes, I felt numb 20yrs ago when my dad passed, then 2yrs ago when I lost my mom, uncle, and my 69 yr. old brother within the same yr. The only thing that helps is my belief in God, and I know I will see them again. People that insult others are probably hurting inside themselves. You look amazing for any age!
Chronic depression definitely leads to feeling ‘numb.’ When you feel ‘stuck’ for a very long time - you just loose heart. That, to me, is numbness.😢
You are spot on, I agree with every word. Thank you.
I will be 70 this October and I am in my third marriage. My husband is 2 1/2 years younger than me. He had liver transplant September 2023 & it has changed him, FOR THE WORSE! He is chronically depressed and angry all the time now. Pre-liver transplant we had a really good marriage, which is NO longer the case. Now almost every morning when I awake, I grab my dog and we head outside and go for a walk in my beautiful neighborhood. I say hello to neighbors who are outside walking too, we smile, if only in passing sometimes we chat awhile. I talk to God, as I walk and remember to thank God for waking me up once again !! (A grateful heart is a happy heart). And as I write this I am asking myself, AM CURRENTLY NUM . . . alas, yes, I am. Susan, you posed a very thought provoking question.
You are a very beautiful woman inside and out! I have felt numb since my husband passed away suddenly in 2019. Nothing is the same. Thank you for your words and kindness…
I know, it's so hard when we lose our other half. They become pretty much our reason for most things, then when they are gone, we no longer have a reason. It's so hard. God bless.
Grief takes time, just allow it, then feeling will return. ❤
I can't cry anymore. I'm 70 years old, I wonder if being on antidepressants most of my adult life could cause that.
Susan, you're the best. You always have a subject about REAL life issues. Sending you blessings and lots of love ❤️
I lost my husband last May 2023. I feel everything every single day. I experience sadness, loneliness, fear, but I also laugh and have joy. I will never remarry. I will not even date. I still feel married to my husband but I go out with people and have laughs and some fun but my preference would be to be with my husband and cats in Heaven.
Today's offering left me in tears at the strong identification I feel of these ideas and feelings. I appreciate you and your channel for taking on the raw, real, less than perfect side of authentic living.
After nearly 2 years I still feel deep sorrow for the loss of my husband. I enjoy myself as much as I care to. It’s hard to adjust to being without a constant friend and companion and yes lover. It’s hardest to cope with not being a “ couple”. I miss the interaction of just a spontaneous joke, smile, touch of the hand or disagreement. My cousin lost his wife of more than 50 years and he told me it takes 2 years to get over it. I wait. Just no time to wait. Just keep pushing through.❤
You don’t ever get over losing a loved one. Time gives you the strength to deal with it but the sadness and emptiness will always creep in. Then the next day comes and you put one foot in front of the other…
True
As a life long Buddhist I try to focus on the moment I am in right now. I’ve had a difficult life and have become wiser as time passed. I look for beauty and peace in each moment. I’m not perfect but I try…and that is enough. Love to you and Desi.❤
Dear Susan, I can’t believe people would say such ugly things to you. You are inspirational. I am a 69 Year old widow. In the past few years I’ve lost my Dad, my husband, my brother, my nephew and a few dear pets. I used to cry at the drop of a hat but now I can’t even force the tears, I wish I could. I think it would be cleansing. On top of that, I’ve had 2 relationships since my husband died that thought would be ‘it’ but apparently I wasn’t what they were looking for. More heartbreak but still no tears. I honestly am used to being alone now, I am grateful for my dear circle of friends and I don’t know how I could live without my 2 sweet little dogs who make me smile every day and give me purpose. I’m not giving up on life. I’d still love to have a special someone in my life but if it never happens again I will be grateful for the loves in my life.
Yes I felt numb after my Husband passed away. That was the hardest part of my life. It's been 4 1/2 yrs. I still have my moments. I love your videos & watching you & Desi. You are such a wonderful person. ❤️
That's a huge amount of grief to deal with! I know how hard that is. Grief is not a neat & tidy process. You bounce all over the place. Denial, sadness, anger and back again. Just when I think I have landed in acceptance I'm back again to to one of those feelings. Time is a greathealer. But it takes a lot of time. You'll get there! With love and warmest wishes!
@@marilynmontgomery4579
Thank you Marilyn
Any time! I'm glad you have your dogs! They are unconditional love & joy. We've always had dogs & cats. I have loved them more than most people! Now we only have 1 cat. Her name is Magic & she is! Do you have friends? They can really help too. Blessedly, I still have my husband but by the time I was 19 my minister said I had suffered more grief than most 50 year olds he knew. My sister(in-law) lost her husband last July. I see what she goes through. I can only imagine. Thank God! She has 5 sons & 13 grandchildren. She tries to stay busy. Take it one day at a time. And when that's too much take it 1 minute at a time. It will get easier! I promise. Sending love & prayers to you.
I am considering going to grief support due to so many deaths of loved ones the past two years. I'm tired of feeling numb; that's the way I've felt before. If I start crying, I won't be able to stop. I'm going to seek out friendships because I do love being around people. I don't have much interaction with people. I'm pretty isolated and I m tired of it. I've made myself ill by doing this. I'm 73 and I'm starting over. I'm going out whether I want to, or not!❤❤❤❤love you Susan. I know you'll be so happy going to the wedding. Have fun!
Way to go, Elaine!
YOu take care of yourself...I am so sorry for all your loss. Your life is vibrant with much to do...my love to you, Susan
You look radiant today, just beautiful. I'll never understand what people get out of being so hateful. I work with the public and they can be brutal and feel entitled to be that way. Some days after work I just need to be alone and decompress from the day. Yes, many times I feel numb, bad divorce, death of parents, having to start over in my 60s ... life isn't always easy. The one thing I know God has given me favor and opportunities most people my age wouldn't have gotten. I may not have everything but I get by. Like scripture says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I've had to remind myself of this often, it does help.
I'm 76 and my ex husband just died a few months ago and my daughter rented a house to have a memorial for him. I was so afraid to go, have gained so much weight, let myself go,
and was so afraid to see old relatives that I haven't seen in years. I prayed so hard and went and even though I felt like a wreak, everyone was so loving, giving me hugs right and left.
I'm so thankful to God and was able to share some things about him that I loved and appreciated. It is sad though, like you, I've been wondering "if only", but I'm thankful not to have
any bitter feelings towards him, try to remember the good times, thankful to have been married and experienced having children, even though it didn't work out. I appreciate your encouragement ❤
I live alone and Im turning 70 this month, I have been isolating since covid.....I cant seem to get myself interested in going out anymore.....my passion seems to be watching old classic 1940 movies with my dog......geeshhhh, I have to make some changes......
You look so pretty in your red polka dots! I have struggled with numbness. I am working through it every day. ❤
Thanks Susan , I lost my husband of 43 years ..almost 5 years ago just as we were heading into retirement . During this time my mom was in care with dementia and I also became numb . Life was a struggle and I Couldn’t feel joy and knew it was missing . I struggled to let myself cry and didn’t know why . Grief manifests itself in different ways and I Thankyou for your insight and compassion in explaining this . I still struggle but have found ways to create and feel joy again thankfully . Those hard times have given me a much bigger heart and the realization that joy is all around us ….we just have to let it in and not to be afraid to feel ! I work at feeling gratitude and positivity every day .
The best thing I did during this time was get myself a Dezi ….
Thanks for sharing a new word with us-anhedonia. I know exactly how it feels and can relate. Thanks for all the time you spend taking beautiful pictures and sharing them with us. It is sad and lonely in the world and you bring a ray of hope.
Exactly!
I lost my parents and then my husband. Grief.
I’m numb now because I don’t want to feel like that again!
I see beauty around me;
I function in my world but it’s not the same as when you have your whole life ahead of you.
I know I’m on the downslope. My body is changing and not for the better.
My mind is different, too.
Everything is getting harder.
There is a whole cadre of women who just want to be alone. I’m in that camp.
People annoy us!
I try to go out but then everyone wants to drink and party; I don’t drink anymore.
I don’t want that life anymore.
There are great TH-cam videos about people younger than me that just want to be at home!
In the garden!
Playing music!
Reading!
Watching you on TH-cam!
Hello dear Susan!! Thank you for sharing your feelings of numbness with us!! Over the last few years I’ve alternated between feeling numbness and complete panic as I had to deal with a job loss and struggling with health issues and the anxiety of the pandemic. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances and numb to the beauty and blessings of my life. I know that I can’t continue this way. I’m learning to get out of my own head and realize how far I’ve come and how valuable I am as a woman. That’s why I love tuning in to your channel every week!! You help me to keep going and not give up on myself!! For that, I’m eternally grateful!! Take care of yourself, dear, beautiful Susan!! I’m looking forward to hearing about your son’s wedding and your joy!! Sending you, precious Desi and your family lots of love and prayers!!😍😍😍🙏🙏🙏
I feel very invisible. I'm single...almost 56..I don't talk with my kids(I have 5) very often..maybe twice a year. I don't feel joy anymore...I go through the motions daily and I wish i could get that purpose back...that joy. Thanks for doing this episode...It has given me some solace that I'm not the only one. ❤
I've learned to feel numb specially when going out and about , socializing, working, and being alone. It's not all bad, nothing hurts. If it's not a pleasant experience I can shrug it off. Doesn't mean I need to be isolated. Instead I call it being insulated ..
That's my difference. I'm past worrying about what people say or think, you do you and that's ok. I don't need someone living with me or loving me, I have pets that provide that at this point in time.
I am a caregiver at 65 years old, I interact with people who are basically at the end of their lives. I help to make those end days a bit easier, help them smile. When they pass, I am glad they are free of pain and suffering. And so I go on.
Have I loved yes, have I lost yes. Have I cried desperate tears yes, do I regret stuff yes a ton, would I change the past? No the good times were too good, the memories too dear to have done it differently. I have made peace with the mistakes, the right and the wrong. I am stronger, wiser, calmer now at 65 because of my past. We are the whole of our past and all we are today and I'm proud of me.
I am 70 and I have a hard time too having joy or getting excited. I don't feel depressed, but I have been isolated for quite a few years now so maybe that is the cause. Last January I decided to finally celebrate my birthday with my friends who live in another state. I wanted to spend the day at Universal Studios Hollywood and then we stayed the night on The Queen Mary in Long Beach in the Queen Mary suite. I was excited till we got to Universal. I am physically handicapped and they make you jump unnecessary hoops to get a handicapped pass. I was tired by the time we actually got through the red tape. Long story short, my weekend was fun because I was with my friends, but I was too tired to really enjoy anything. I learned none of us have the energy we use to have and next time stick to normal activities. I am in pain 24/7 from Arthritis and Neuropathy and have to get around by walker or power wheelchairs. In two years I am moving to a place that has a lot of activities and a close community so I see my isolation will be coming to an end then. Maybe I can get joyful in this new environment. Hugs!
Wow, you look amazing in your red halter. Your skin is so young looking! I remember feeling numb when I found out my live in boyfriend was going to be a dad! I distinctly remember trying to numb my brain with straight vodka, it didn’t work (as I’m not a drinker 😂). This was in the 80s. And was a huge turning point in my life. It set me on an amazing path that led me to the US and my amazing husband. We will be celebrating our 21 year anniversary this Oct. I’m turning 63 this month and find joy in nature, travel, family, my cats. A beautiful sunrise, a full moon, so many things. It does make me sad too that people don’t feel joy.
Oh dear sweet lady, you are a joy! I’m praying that you never loose that peace !!
You start cutting the negative out of your life!!! Negative thoughts negative people.. painful memories...
No isolation...
Yes as we get older we get comfortable and perfectly content to stay home with our pets or in our gardens... We must force ourselves to get out and talk with people... In a park sitting on a park bench in a grocery store in a shopping mall at church wherever... At least a couple times a week we have to force ourselves to get out and socialize.!!!! And pretty soon you will look forward to it!!!.
I also find that volunteering helps greatly.