👌More videos can be found on this topic at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5.html&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
Take your meds for restless Leg Syndrome 2 hours before sleep. Include your medicine for plaque buildup that causes Stroke and cardiac arrest! And your medicine that delays blindness. Take your medicationsTake your medicatio😂😂😂😂😂😂
this is really crippling because the older we get and the more relationships we try to form and they keep falling apart.... only confirm our fears. and when the relationships seem to be going well and could potentially be a safe space, we tend to sabotage.. just in case.... before it sabotages us.....
I have guesses that early in childhood hurtles and traumas were part of my story. I say quess because my parents have often told me my stories were unfounded and my sisters hatered of me only increased when I inquired and attempted apologies for, well we never got to agree exactly was not right. Moved to where my parents lived for their last phase of life. For the most part my father would neither talk about my childhood not forgive me for not ... There are a several good stories that we created. The best story was visiting him at the nursing home when he had no idea who I was and we played tic tac toe, and he made up rules so he could win. We were doing really well until a nurse came into the room and insisted that we played by established rules. Living with Mother as she progresses with dementia. My current refrain is the only fundamental of life is it is a test of your character. Been working therapy for 5 plus years. It's a bit rough, but my wild has been tamed to a degree, BUT the friends I do have are more than an arms legnth away, most are thru Facebook. It would be a job to write an autobiography, have heard from a great number of people this could be a reward accomplishment. Thankyouthankyou
So true. This has happened throughout my life. I just don't know if I can change these behaviours but I am here to try. What a fantastic resource this channel is. ❤️
My mother died of cancer when I was 8 years old. My father drank heavily and would be angry and emotionally erratic and unavailable. Overanalysis paralysis, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment, self rejection, relationship sabotage, anxiety, depression, addiction...this is the hell I've been in my entire life. Thank you so much for this information, I have been learning so much from your seminars.
I feel you. My mom had diabetes and was extremely disabled. I grew up taking care of her. My biggest source of love and support. Then she died when I was 10. Dad got blackout drink every night. That on top of never feeling like he was proud of me because I didn't turn out like he wanted.
I honestly believe you save lives with your videos. Absolutely life changing information and so easy to follow and understand. You’re an absolute angel! I’m forever grateful.
I don’t know why this was hard for me to hear, glad I listened thank you 💕 I can’t afford therapy but I am still learning a lot about myself! Progress.
I am fortunate to be listening to the video ( at least the second time) and be able to read thru the comments at the same time. And , again; listening anew Thankyouthankyou!
Good morning. There is free help out there you know you just have to know where to look for it your local city state government agencies should have that information for you just give him a call push 211 I don't know where you're at or how that works for you
Thank you. I have been attending counseling / working on healing for the last 3 years - and the realization of the giant role that the neglect I experienced as a very young child (I was less than 2 yrs old when my younger twin sisters were born, identical twins with congenital heart defects). I was healthy, so I guess my needs for security, stability and comfort were not important to my parents. All of the attention and "special" went to them (one in particular was Mom's favorite), and I learned very young that I wanted to be anywhere but with that family. The damage wrought by this has messed up a whole lot of things in my adult life. It sucks to realize at 50+ years old that your life could have been - should have been - so much more.
Honestly, I’ve had therapists for twenty years and not one of them ever mentioned Codependent behavior, dismissive avoidance attachment styles or a difficult narcissistic father! Also, most therapists in the U.S. have psychological problems and they don’t care to help people heal themselves. My last therapist insulted me and invalidated me. He told me to keep a bad friend who traumatized and financially abused me.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tools from the video will you use to create secure attachment with yourself and cope with trauma?
Same boat here Elizabeth. I'll never trust the FOR PROFIT medical community ever again, only particular individuals like Dr Snipes. Your average high functioning psychiatrist literally cannot relate to what you're going through, and will dismiss or invalidate your experience. Between COVID and my own 10 year saga in the mental health nightmare, I'll never trust medical "professionals" again.
It's true. I haven't found a competent therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. over the last 30 years to get help for our children/teenagers. I am wondering what is going on with the mental health field?
It makes complete sense but it sounds like overwhelmingly hard work to sort out. I have a massive fear of getting into a relationship because of the insecure attachment I had with my mother, so the thought of getting into a relationship (whether that is a romantic or friendly one) frightens me to death and that is really really sad!
I hope that you continue to work on yourself, because you deserve love. And there will be someone out there who will love you for who you are and they will be able to help you grow and move forward to heal. But there must be honest communication. Good luck.
Yes its exhausting Im an only child with only 3 members left of so-called family. I had always been single cus i had certain expectations then at 33 I had my first official boyfriend the relationship only lasted a yr he would randomly "ghost" me in the yr and months that we where together. I remained single up until 2yrs ago I got involved in a thirdparty relationship, hey something is better than nothing at all.....I say: I have my own place my own ride and my $.....😇 stay safe
I locked my self deep inside myself, Doc Snipes. This lays out, step by step, what happened and why it happened. I am understanding on the deeper levels the mystery and pain of my life as I pull out more completely every day. What a harrowing ADVENTURE! Thanks for your part in this. Sending love to you today.🍀
I am sorry you’ve locked your self deep inside yourself. People experiencing trauma usually do that as a form of protection. Thank you so much for watching the video. What tips would you consider using first to address trauma?
How Disorganized Attachment leads to Codependency and studying the combination of these two disruptive traumas is life changing. To take it further to enhance and develop what is healthy is just outstanding. Thank you so much for this life changing video.
I am definitely anxious, I have destroyed most of my friendships that i formed in adulthood. I am glad that I fought against my self and I was able to stumble and find a woman that loves me. Sadly I still feel this at times.
I am glad this video came my way. I am in the midst of a deep inquiry into attachment, and have seen probably hundreds of other videos on various aspects of it. What I especially appreciate here is the well paced delivery (not too fast like what happens on another channel on this topic) , the use of slides to support the content presented (a huge help for me), and the comprehensive coverage of the topic. One suggestion for improving the content: anxious attachment attachment and avoidant attachment were described fairly well, but disorganized attachment was given just a brief description of it having aspects of both anxious and avoidant. While this is of course true there is much more to it than simply anxious + avoidant = disorganized. In other words, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and there is more complexity to disorganized attachment than that. So, I would have liked to seen that addressed more clearly. True, the rest of the content did cover things like hypervigilance, which is a feature of disorganized attachment, but again it would be useful to more fully explain the dynamics of disorganized attachment. Overall though, much appreciated and useful content.
I had my last therapist who had a one hundred foot painted portrait of him and his wife on the wall ask me, “what do you want from me as a therapist”? He was a sliding scale therapist who drooling whenever I paid him with cash! Toxic, narcissistic, invalidating, critical therapists who throw their clients under the bus are a detriment to American health in society today! These therapists not concerned with me healing or improving my childhood wounds.
Your insight and knowledge are absolutely amazing. There is not a section of yours that I listen to that I do not totally resonate with and cannot tell you how invaluable this information is for those who want to unravel and heal their issues. I encourage everyone to listen to at least one a day if they are experiencing any of these challenges. Thank you.
LOL u know what....amazinyly enough that was the cure for my attachment disorder. Only took 54 years and the loss of relationship with 2 of my kids to finally figure it out.
Your key pieces of information describe me exactly . I’m so glad I’ve stumbled on this and the time to absorb and now act and change lightbulb moments I want to share with others
I WAS SO AMAZED AT HOW YOU COULD ACTUALLY TALK AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING SO WE UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS FEELINGS ETC. AND A BIT OF OURSELFS THANK YOU
Thank you so much for your time and knowledge. I’ve found it very helpful. Could you possibly explain what a healthy relationship would look like compared to one with codependency etc. maybe some advice and links for improving each of the issues. Thank you. Also, could you do a video on helping young children who’ve been bullied, how to improve their self esteem and confidence ?
This was so informative and eye opening. Not only for myself (analysis paralysis), and for people in my life (many, many, many other points for different people) And many helpful strategies for myself and to help others (if they want it)
@@ALT-vz3jn WHAT'S UNHELPFUL DISAGREEING??? I DISAGREE WITH YOU .... NOT EVERYONE HAS TO AGREE ALL THE TIME 🤣⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️🚓🚨🆘⚖️ AND DJ'S FROM VENUS, DJ'S FROM MARS, DJ'S FROM THE STRIP CLUB'S VIP ROOMS HERE IN DA CHAT AS WELL
In a dream I'm a different me With a perfect you We fit perfectly For once in my life I feel complete And I still want to ruin it Afraid to look As clear as day This plan has long been underway I hear them call I cannot stay The voice inviting me away
This was so helpful. I have insecure attachment and abandonment issues, and have gone through multiple dysfunctional relationships. Therapy is helping me address my reactions and develop new skills
Thank you so much for watching the video. I am glad it was helpful and I am also glad that therapy is helping you address your reactions and develop new skills.
You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of service. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.
I know someone in his mid 20’s meeting most if not all criteria for dependent, avoidant and vulnerable/ grandiose narcissistic,I believe because of opportunity. As a scapegoat child growing up, he’s been raised since 16 by his single, successful dad who out of guilt has awarded his son with materialistic items, and an easy job, bringing him attention, praise, entitlement without having to ever earn it. He only seeks social situations which are certain to provide preferential treatment from his dad’s friends/colleagues or lifelong friends, each tolerating his infantile reactions or attention seeking behavior without ridicule or pushback on his delusional lies about himself. He avoids new experiences, social interactions outside of the home where he can’t keep conversation on himself. He throws verbal tantrums when the most ridiculous, inconsequential things challenge his sense of entitlement Severe arrested emotional development. It’s astonishing and very difficult to witness.
The mental health system will diagnose, drug and gaslight you. If you don't submit you're blamed for not being cooperative. My therapist traumatized me more and like my sick family, they are protected.
My mom was disabled due to diabetes, so I was taking care of her as far back as I can remember. She loved me, but my dad was different. He wanted me to be a certain way. Good at certain things, into certain things, be stronger than I was. And I was never that "trophy child" he wanted. He would get really mad at me for not being good at sports. Yell at and berate me in front of people at games. Even go completely off on me at home. Mild physical abuse at least once. I never felt like he was proud of me. When I got into things that I like, instead of sports, he seemed to never be interested in what I was doing. Then my mom died when I was 10. I think parental love and care disappeared with her. It got even worst when Dad remarried. My step mother was controlling and emotionally abusive. Even classmates and teachers growing up. No one had my back. So I think I suffer from this. Almost every symptom listed here I have or have had. I recently learned about codependency. I'm totally someone who gives love, affection, help, and support in relationships. But I don't really get it back. I guess I think that's what will make them love me. Because that's how I got love from Mom? Because I never felt like Dad really loved me so I'm trying to gain approval from people? Like proving my worth to partners?
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
You’re so welcome! I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
I really enjoy your videos on attachment. I've watched videos from others on attachment but for some reason they way you talk about it really hits home with me. I do have a question about a couple things in this video and that's when you talk about people with a fear of intimacy and sabotaging their relationships out of a fear of abandonment is that a conscious awareness of it or subconscious. for me I never thought I did. I have a very strong desire to be intimate with people and have friends and family but yet I'm 50 years old and have never had any friends or any intimate relationships even though my desire for them is almost as strong as eating. And I see so many people around me connecting with others, going out with friends and family, living life and having a good time. And I just don't understand why that is. Maybe consciously I want that but maybe subconsciously I'm afraid and do things to push people away.
For most people the self sabotages is subconscious. When they start to feel vulnerable it triggers the fight or flee response. Many sabotaging behaviors fall into fight: becoming hypercritical of the other person or finding reasons to be unsatisfied or Flee: physically (being the dump-er) or emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. That is a very general answer to your question. It seems like you have a lot of good self-awareness.
Love how your describe your need for intimacy "..even though my desire for them is almost as strong as eating." For many it can be deeply insatiable craving for intimacy, acceptance and love.
AMAZING VIDEO...THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH... LEARNING TO SET BOUNDARIES SO, I CAN(** WRITE MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER LOVE STORY!***) DR.SNIPES... MOST WOMEN I KNOW HAVE A LOT OF ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, NEGLECT, ABANDONMENT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE... THAT'S ALL TRAUMA!! SO ,I WANT TO EDUCATE THESE WOMEN I CARE ABOUT!
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. Good luck writing your story. Here are the videos on boundaries, to help you: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=boundaries I think your idea of helping women who have experienced trauma is remarkable.
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=Trauma
Your video is helping me with my healing process ( I have been doing for a while now) and alot of the childhood trauma and abuse ( on all levels) I internalized for a long time. I am almost 30 and the work of recovery with boundaries is something I know is going to be better for my future. Thank you so much!!! Keep going!!!!💛💚💜🤎♥
Hi Doc snipes I have all of this. I ordered the book from Amazon and I am hoping to get better. I am trying to find a therapist that can take Kaiser insurance…so far no luck with Kaiser they are not very helpful.
Thanks & good job. It sounds like we trade toxic relationships with our parents (narcissistic) in for toxic relationships with others (spouse, employer, pastor, etc.). How is that healthier? Can a therapist really fix a toxic culture (do as I say or get rejected/wage slavery)? That message seems to be the basis for many relationships. Will society ever be healthy (unconditional love)?
Yes, but do to licensing laws you would have to be in Tennessee or Florida. You can probably find a local, licensed professional counselor as well. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@@DocSnipes Ah, thats too bad. I am in Scotland UK. I live you're channel. Thank You for all the accurate content. It is so helpful for me to help explain my disorder to my loved ones. X
It seems inevitable that codependents get involved with problematic partners - how could it be otherwise!? We are set up by parents, and by the cultural myth of “ soul mates” - - Patrick Teahan on TH-cam is really good on connecting cptsd and codependency.
Does Neglect count as abandonment? Also the foster mother rejected us foster kids too and provided no love. I disowned them last year due to illness. I can identify with many of the symptoms.
Critical response: the motivation for this can be protective, as well. If you can see where pitfalls may arise and criticize the characteristic that causes the pitfall, you could address and avoid it. I think this is a valid motivation, but the approach is unhealthy because it destabilized the other person.
I am really enjoying your presentations. I cannot seem to find a therapist that is willing to work on these things with me. its very disheartening. I appreciate that you are repeating a lot of the same things I've learned from Dr. Levine and Gabor Mate. I just wish I had someone to bounce ideas off of, that helps me process things better.
Thank you for sharing your vocation with us and me too. My vocation is Supporting and Guiding children towards 'A BeComing Reader' with traumatic set-backs etcetera. I am a Mosaic Down Syndrome + Autism with genius moments that keeps me a child,, so we collaborate while helping them to find their Voices as well. *)_(*
Issue is l now find myself totally alone with depression anxiety and disassociation cptsd. My abandonment wound is on red alert and no family member wants to know
Thanks for sharing, and watching. It sounds like you may benefit from working with a licensed, professional counselor. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
👌More videos can be found on this topic at: th-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5.html&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
Take your meds for restless Leg Syndrome 2 hours before sleep. Include your medicine for plaque buildup that causes Stroke and cardiac arrest! And your medicine that delays blindness. Take your medicationsTake your medicatio😂😂😂😂😂😂
Because the topic you cover is so critical, I'd like to recommend a book for you: Invisible: When Fear And Shame Cause You To Hide. amazon has it
Guessing that you are not realizing that you are destroying marriage and the nuclear family inadvertently with the codependency speach
this is really crippling because the older we get and the more relationships we try to form and they keep falling apart.... only confirm our fears. and when the relationships seem to be going well and could potentially be a safe space, we tend to sabotage.. just in case.... before it sabotages us.....
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I have guesses that early in childhood hurtles and traumas
were part of my story. I say quess
because my parents have often told me my stories were unfounded and my sisters hatered of me only increased when I inquired and attempted apologies for, well we never got to agree exactly was not
right.
Moved to where my parents lived for
their last phase of life. For the most part my father would neither talk about my childhood not forgive me
for not ... There are a several good stories that we created. The best story was visiting him at the nursing home when he had no idea who I was and we played tic tac toe, and he made up rules so he could win.
We were doing really well until a nurse came into the room and insisted that we played by established rules.
Living with Mother as she progresses with dementia.
My current refrain is the only
fundamental of life is
it is a test of your character.
Been working therapy for 5 plus years. It's a bit rough, but my wild has been tamed to a degree, BUT
the friends I do have are more than an arms legnth away, most are thru Facebook.
It would be a job to write an autobiography, have heard from a great number of people this could
be a reward accomplishment.
Thankyouthankyou
I'm increasingly seeing that truth Adel
So true. This has happened throughout my life. I just don't know if I can change these behaviours but I am here to try. What a fantastic resource this channel is. ❤️
Have you found ACA? There is hope, and we can change. It's just not easy, but you are worth it ❤️
You are the most factual, informative, detailed and professional person I’ve seen on TH-cam for this content. Thank you so much.
Thanks for watching and commenting.
Agree, one notebook by video is small to get all the notes in
She is actually a Dr with real preparation on the subject
I refer this to all my clients 🎉
My mother died of cancer when I was 8 years old. My father drank heavily and would be angry and emotionally erratic and unavailable. Overanalysis paralysis, hypervigilance, fear of abandonment, self rejection, relationship sabotage, anxiety, depression, addiction...this is the hell I've been in my entire life. Thank you so much for this information, I have been learning so much from your seminars.
Thank you for watching! I am sorry about this.
Me too!
I feel you. My mom had diabetes and was extremely disabled. I grew up taking care of her. My biggest source of love and support. Then she died when I was 10. Dad got blackout drink every night. That on top of never feeling like he was proud of me because I didn't turn out like he wanted.
listening to you has done more for me than 5 years with a psychiatrist charging $300 per hour!! You are my answer
Too kind. Thanks for watching!
I honestly believe you save lives with your videos. Absolutely life changing information and so easy to follow and understand.
You’re an absolute angel! I’m forever grateful.
I don’t know why this was hard for me to hear, glad I listened thank you 💕 I can’t afford therapy but I am still learning a lot about myself! Progress.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I am fortunate to be listening to the video ( at least the second time)
and be able to read thru the comments at the same time.
And , again; listening anew
Thankyouthankyou!
Good morning. There is free help out there you know you just have to know where to look for it your local city state government agencies should have that information for you just give him a call push 211 I don't know where you're at or how that works for you
Thank you. I have been attending counseling / working on healing for the last 3 years - and the realization of the giant role that the neglect I experienced as a very young child (I was less than 2 yrs old when my younger twin sisters were born, identical twins with congenital heart defects). I was healthy, so I guess my needs for security, stability and comfort were not important to my parents. All of the attention and "special" went to them (one in particular was Mom's favorite), and I learned very young that I wanted to be anywhere but with that family. The damage wrought by this has messed up a whole lot of things in my adult life. It sucks to realize at 50+ years old that your life could have been - should have been - so much more.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I'm 65. The were I could have been
has weighed me to a crawl, way often. I say forever Forward often now days.
I can relate to you and have felt abandoned in my childhood . This have left me feeling so lonely in every step in my life and I'm in my late 50s now.
So, so true. You feel ripped off.
Honestly, I’ve had therapists for twenty years and not one of them ever mentioned Codependent behavior, dismissive avoidance attachment styles or a difficult narcissistic father! Also, most therapists in the U.S. have psychological problems and they don’t care to help people heal themselves. My last therapist insulted me and invalidated me. He told me to keep a bad friend who traumatized and financially abused me.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tools from the video will you use to create secure attachment with yourself and cope with trauma?
Same boat here Elizabeth. I'll never trust the FOR PROFIT medical community ever again, only particular individuals like Dr Snipes. Your average high functioning psychiatrist literally cannot relate to what you're going through, and will dismiss or invalidate your experience. Between COVID and my own 10 year saga in the mental health nightmare, I'll never trust medical "professionals" again.
It's true. I haven't found a competent therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. over the last 30 years to get help for our children/teenagers.
I am wondering what is going on with the mental health field?
@elizabethSeiden you may really also like the content on Patrick Teahan’s TH-cam channel- and Dr. Ramani is also another great one on TH-cam
It makes complete sense but it sounds like overwhelmingly hard work to sort out. I have a massive fear of getting into a relationship because of the insecure attachment I had with my mother, so the thought of getting into a relationship (whether that is a romantic or friendly one) frightens me to death and that is really really sad!
I hope that you continue to work on yourself, because you deserve love. And there will be someone out there who will love you for who you are and they will be able to help you grow and move forward to heal. But there must be honest communication. Good luck.
Overwhelming is like to having too much food in your mouth
Smaller bits, more chewing;
stay dedicated to feeding yourself.
Yes its exhausting Im an only child with only 3 members left of so-called family. I had always been single cus i had certain expectations then at 33 I had my first official boyfriend the relationship only lasted a yr he would randomly "ghost" me in the yr and months that we where together. I remained single up until 2yrs ago I got involved in a thirdparty relationship, hey something is better than nothing at all.....I say: I have my own place my own ride and my $.....😇 stay safe
"Secure attachments are essential";
I feel more secure
when listening to someone
starts speaking with a statement
of obvious truth. Thanks.
I don't think I have any now and don't know how to create them?
@Dj Bond secure attachments.
Thank you for helping me with so many issues, this course has been so informative
Funny, read the comment and thought I like the idea here, then read
I wrote that.
It is good
to agree with yourself.
"Always trying to convict myself"--now that really resonates.
Thanks for watching and commenting.
I locked my self deep inside myself, Doc Snipes. This lays out, step by step, what happened and why it happened. I am understanding on the deeper levels the mystery and pain of my life as I pull out more completely every day. What a harrowing ADVENTURE! Thanks for your part in this. Sending love to you today.🍀
I am sorry you’ve locked your self deep inside yourself. People experiencing trauma usually do that as a form of protection. Thank you so much for watching the video. What tips would you consider using first to address trauma?
How Disorganized Attachment leads to Codependency and studying the combination of these two disruptive traumas is life changing. To take it further to enhance and develop what is healthy is just outstanding. Thank you so much for this life changing video.
So welcome. Thanks for watching!
I am definitely anxious, I have destroyed most of my friendships that i formed in adulthood. I am glad that I fought against my self and I was able to stumble and find a woman that loves me. Sadly I still feel this at times.
Sorry to hear. 😞 Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I definitely fall in the anxious attachment area. I'm healing towards secure. Thanks for the confirmation and eye opening content.
Thanks for watching and commenting.
Sending love to all of you commenting.
I found this insightful. I am seeing a therapist next week. I so hope it'll be helpful
Thank you for watching.
I am glad this video came my way. I am in the midst of a deep inquiry into attachment, and have seen probably hundreds of other videos on various aspects of it. What I especially appreciate here is the well paced delivery (not too fast like what happens on another channel on this topic) , the use of slides to support the content presented (a huge help for me), and the comprehensive coverage of the topic. One suggestion for improving the content: anxious attachment attachment and avoidant attachment were described fairly well, but disorganized attachment was given just a brief description of it having aspects of both anxious and avoidant. While this is of course true there is much more to it than simply anxious + avoidant = disorganized. In other words, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and there is more complexity to disorganized attachment than that. So, I would have liked to seen that addressed more clearly. True, the rest of the content did cover things like hypervigilance, which is a feature of disorganized attachment, but again it would be useful to more fully explain the dynamics of disorganized attachment.
Overall though, much appreciated and useful content.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
It sucks. I just want to overcome this and be normal.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching
I had my last therapist who had a one hundred foot painted portrait of him and his wife on the wall ask me, “what do you want from me as a therapist”? He was a sliding scale therapist who drooling whenever I paid him with cash! Toxic, narcissistic, invalidating, critical therapists who throw their clients under the bus are a detriment to American health in society today! These therapists not concerned with me healing or improving my childhood wounds.
I am sorry about that.
Your insight and knowledge are absolutely amazing. There is not a section of yours that I listen to that I do not totally resonate with and cannot tell you how invaluable this information is for those who want to unravel and heal their issues. I encourage everyone to listen to at least one a day if they are experiencing any of these challenges. Thank you.
Wow. Thank you so much.
"Well, if I learned anything from this... It's how to live on my own."
LOL u know what....amazinyly enough that was the cure for my attachment disorder. Only took 54 years and the loss of relationship with 2 of my kids to finally figure it out.
Doc Snipes is like a real Sniper, she hits the target right in the Bullseye. I am so appreciative of her.
THANK YOU! This is an excellent presentation, very educational and well put together 🙏
Thank you for the kind words
Hello
Your key pieces of information describe me exactly . I’m so glad I’ve stumbled on this and the time to absorb and now act and change lightbulb moments I want to share with others
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I feel the same , I've just how stubbles on this and it's so interesting a lot to take in
I WAS SO AMAZED AT HOW YOU COULD ACTUALLY TALK AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING SO WE UNDERSTAND OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS FEELINGS ETC. AND A BIT OF OURSELFS THANK YOU
😊 Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thank you so much for your time and knowledge. I’ve found it very helpful.
Could you possibly explain what a healthy relationship would look like compared to one with codependency etc.
maybe some advice and links for improving each of the issues. Thank you.
Also, could you do a video on helping young children who’ve been bullied, how to improve their self esteem and confidence ?
One of the most informative and thorough videos I’ve seen on this subject. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
I am such a fan of your presentations. Thank you many times over!
Thanks so much!
me to!
Me too
Amazing!!!! This was a much needed, key piece clarification for me! Thank you! ❤️🙏🏼
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
One of the most illuminating teachings I’ve happened upon. Thank you for this valuable post.
You're very welcome
This was so informative and eye opening. Not only for myself (analysis paralysis), and for people in my life (many, many, many other points for different people)
And many helpful strategies for myself and to help others (if they want it)
During covid it is virtually impossible to get help for anxiety.
This was a very informative video.😍
Glad it was helpful!
@Dj Bond that’s so unhelpful
No EVERYTHING WENT COMPUTER 🖥️💻🖥️💻🖥️💻🖥️🖥️ FOR HELP 🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘 LIKE ZOOM MEETINGS VS. IN PERSON MEETINGS
@Dj Bond SEEK FOR HELP WHERE IT IS ONLINE...... EVERYTHING WENT TO Online ,ZOOM, VIRTUAL MEETINGS...VS. IN PERSON MEETINGS BECAUSE OF COVID
@@ALT-vz3jn WHAT'S UNHELPFUL DISAGREEING??? I DISAGREE WITH YOU .... NOT EVERYONE HAS TO AGREE ALL THE TIME 🤣⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️🚓🚨🆘⚖️ AND DJ'S FROM VENUS, DJ'S FROM MARS, DJ'S FROM THE STRIP CLUB'S VIP ROOMS HERE IN DA CHAT AS WELL
I always enjoy your videos. I try not to binge watch. I try to just do one at a time and let it soak in.
Thank you so much for watching. What tools would you use first to create secure attachment?
@@DocSnipes The first thing is that rather than me trying to people-please and earn their trust they would have to earn my trust.
I like her clear description of each topic.
LOL. I have hundreds of videos here. :)
@@DocSnipes They are helping me. Thank you! :)
Hello
In a dream I'm a different me
With a perfect you
We fit perfectly
For once in my life I feel complete
And I still want to ruin it
Afraid to look
As clear as day
This plan has long been underway
I hear them call
I cannot stay
The voice inviting me away
❤️ NIN
This was so helpful. I have insecure attachment and abandonment issues, and have gone through multiple dysfunctional relationships. Therapy is helping me address my reactions and develop new skills
Thank you so much for watching the video. I am glad it was helpful and I am also glad that therapy is helping you address your reactions and develop new skills.
Thank you for all you do. This channel is very informative.
You’re most welcome. I am grateful to be of service. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.
I'm listening to this and finding it helpful. But remembering it to help myself is a problem in itself
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=Releasing%20trauma
I just. Discovered your channel Doc snipes you are a God send thank you for helping us get better as people overall .
I know someone in his mid 20’s meeting most if not all criteria for dependent, avoidant and vulnerable/ grandiose narcissistic,I believe because of opportunity. As a scapegoat child growing up, he’s been raised since 16 by his single, successful dad who out of guilt has awarded his son with materialistic items, and an easy job, bringing him attention, praise, entitlement without having to ever earn it. He only seeks social situations which are certain to provide preferential treatment from his dad’s friends/colleagues or lifelong friends, each tolerating his infantile reactions or attention seeking behavior without ridicule or pushback on his delusional lies about himself. He avoids new experiences, social interactions outside of the home where he can’t keep conversation on himself. He throws verbal tantrums when the most ridiculous, inconsequential things challenge his sense of entitlement Severe arrested emotional development. It’s astonishing and very difficult to witness.
Thank you for watching the video and for sharing
The mental health system will diagnose, drug and gaslight you. If you don't submit you're blamed for not being cooperative. My therapist traumatized me more and like my sick family, they are protected.
There are a lot of bad therapists out there. I’m sorry this happened to you. Finding a good therapist makes all the difference.
Thank you for this juicy content I am really benefitting from the exercises you recommend ☺️
You're so welcome!
My mom was disabled due to diabetes, so I was taking care of her as far back as I can remember. She loved me, but my dad was different. He wanted me to be a certain way. Good at certain things, into certain things, be stronger than I was. And I was never that "trophy child" he wanted. He would get really mad at me for not being good at sports. Yell at and berate me in front of people at games. Even go completely off on me at home. Mild physical abuse at least once. I never felt like he was proud of me. When I got into things that I like, instead of sports, he seemed to never be interested in what I was doing. Then my mom died when I was 10. I think parental love and care disappeared with her. It got even worst when Dad remarried. My step mother was controlling and emotionally abusive. Even classmates and teachers growing up. No one had my back. So I think I suffer from this. Almost every symptom listed here I have or have had. I recently learned about codependency. I'm totally someone who gives love, affection, help, and support in relationships. But I don't really get it back. I guess I think that's what will make them love me. Because that's how I got love from Mom? Because I never felt like Dad really loved me so I'm trying to gain approval from people? Like proving my worth to partners?
That’s awful and I an sorry it happened to you
Many thanks for this video. Very helpful information, well presented and easy to comprehend.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
What you teach is gold.
Love you.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. Sending love
Praise God for you!!!!!!!🙏🙌💛💛💛💛💛🥰🥰🥰👌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Ty so much. :) Thanks for commenting and watching!
What an excellent presentation. Thank you. ❤️
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
Hello I am a therapist and I like to explain codependency to my clients and attachment styles. I can send them to this video.
Thanks 👍 you for this messages
You’re so welcome! I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
This is awesome presentation. I am learning a lot from you. Thank you
Happy to hear that!
Thank you so much for your help doctor snipes I love your videos.i watch them all the time.have a wonderful Christmas 🎄🎄
Thank you so much for watching, Brad. You’re so welcome! May you have a wonderful Christmas as well.
Good morning dr.snipes.💖💖
I really enjoy your videos on attachment. I've watched videos from others on attachment but for some reason they way you talk about it really hits home with me. I do have a question about a couple things in this video and that's when you talk about people with a fear of intimacy and sabotaging their relationships out of a fear of abandonment is that a conscious awareness of it or subconscious. for me I never thought I did. I have a very strong desire to be intimate with people and have friends and family but yet I'm 50 years old and have never had any friends or any intimate relationships even though my desire for them is almost as strong as eating. And I see so many people around me connecting with others, going out with friends and family, living life and having a good time. And I just don't understand why that is. Maybe consciously I want that but maybe subconsciously I'm afraid and do things to push people away.
For most people the self sabotages is subconscious. When they start to feel vulnerable it triggers the fight or flee response. Many sabotaging behaviors fall into fight: becoming hypercritical of the other person or finding reasons to be unsatisfied or Flee: physically (being the dump-er) or emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. That is a very general answer to your question. It seems like you have a lot of good self-awareness.
Love how your describe your need for intimacy "..even though my desire for them is almost as strong as eating."
For many it can be deeply insatiable craving for intimacy, acceptance and love.
Thank-you for your interesting and informative talk. I really value what you have taught me.
Welcome
TRUE SAFETY AND COMMITMENT,AND STABILITY AND LOVE, & 🤗😁😁🤗🤗🤗🤗😁 AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN
This is so helpful. Thank you for your videos!
So many gems here! ❤️
Ty
She knows what she is on
This is amazing. I finally understand. Thank you!
Really amazing video. It’s opened a lot of windows for helpful thought.
Glad it was helpful!
Sending you love and well wishes x
Thank you for watching the video. Sending you positive thoughts.
It has been incredibly helpful, thank you so much
You're very welcome! Thanks for watching
This is such an amazingly accurate & thorough class. I just wish so much of it wasn't my life. 😪 learning still.
Thanks for watching. We all are always learning. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
AMAZING VIDEO...THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH...
LEARNING TO SET BOUNDARIES SO, I CAN(** WRITE MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER LOVE STORY!***)
DR.SNIPES... MOST WOMEN I KNOW HAVE A LOT OF ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, NEGLECT, ABANDONMENT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE... THAT'S ALL TRAUMA!!
SO ,I WANT TO EDUCATE THESE WOMEN I CARE ABOUT!
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. Good luck writing your story. Here are the videos on boundaries, to help you: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=boundaries
I think your idea of helping women who have experienced trauma is remarkable.
You are great :)
Thank you as always 🥰
You are welcome. Thanks for watching.
That is whole therapy. Thanks
Thanks for watching
Not to be rude but these people are more empathetic than your average person because they know how they don’t want people to feel
Thanks for watching.
Thankyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤!!!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=Trauma
Your video is helping me with my healing process ( I have been doing for a while now) and alot of the childhood trauma and abuse ( on all levels) I internalized for a long time. I am almost 30 and the work of recovery with boundaries is something I know is going to be better for my future. Thank you so much!!! Keep going!!!!💛💚💜🤎♥
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching
Thanks SO MUCH FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE EFFORTS 👍👍
I LOVE YOU! Truly! Thank you for all these amazing videos. ❤️
You are so welcome!
Hello
Hi Doc snipes I have all of this. I ordered the book from Amazon and I am hoping to get better. I am trying to find a therapist that can take Kaiser insurance…so far no luck with Kaiser they are not very helpful.
Please do a video on secure attachment style
th-cam.com/video/7fVlZNXRf-g/w-d-xo.html Here is one of the playlists I have done on it.
@@DocSnipes thank you ❤️
How is it that I have amazing long term friendships but unsustainable romantic relationships?
Thanks for watching.
Thank you for your thorough assessments.
Thanks & good job. It sounds like we trade toxic relationships with our parents (narcissistic) in for toxic relationships with others (spouse, employer, pastor, etc.). How is that healthier? Can a therapist really fix a toxic culture (do as I say or get rejected/wage slavery)? That message seems to be the basis for many relationships. Will society ever be healthy (unconditional love)?
I appreciate you watching
You understand and explain personality disorders so well. I have BPD as a result of severe childhood neglect. Do you offer one to one counselling?
Yes, but do to licensing laws you would have to be in Tennessee or Florida. You can probably find a local, licensed professional counselor as well. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@@DocSnipes Ah, thats too bad. I am in Scotland UK. I live you're channel. Thank You for all the accurate content. It is so helpful for me to help explain my disorder to my loved ones. X
@@DocSnipes I’m in Tennessee. Do you counsel Veterans?
@@DocSnipes
How would someone (a TN resident) reach out to you for one on one counseling and education?
@@DocSnipes where in FL? You are amazing!
thank you.
It seems inevitable that codependents get involved with problematic partners - how could it be otherwise!? We are set up by parents, and by the cultural myth of “ soul mates” - - Patrick Teahan on TH-cam is really good on connecting cptsd and codependency.
Does Neglect count as abandonment? Also the foster mother rejected us foster kids too and provided no love.
I disowned them last year due to illness. I can identify with many of the symptoms.
yes.
This is so helpful. Do you do counseling sessions?
Critical response: the motivation for this can be protective, as well. If you can see where pitfalls may arise and criticize the characteristic that causes the pitfall, you could address and avoid it. I think this is a valid motivation, but the approach is unhealthy because it destabilized the other person.
I've been trying to neutralize my "Kill it! Kill it with fire!" love language.
I feel that
🤣
It is scary how relatable the "Symptoms and Rationale" section was...
Totally with ya there. Yet we can keep getting strong & happier & help other beings, people, animals, trees & earth. 🌲🐬🦉🌲🐞🦋
Thanks for watching!
Yeah that was the “your mom was a manipulative cünnt page”
This is great! I also noticed that she has a Sarah Silverman voice LOL 😁
Ty so much. Thanks for subscribing.
Thank you Snipes!
Welcome
Great video!
Thanks for watching.
This is gold.
Ty!
I paid over $10,000 in therapists who were toxic, invalidating, cruel and they gave me horribly wrong advice.
I am sorry about that
Excellent. Thank you so much.
You're very welcome!
I am really enjoying your presentations. I cannot seem to find a therapist that is willing to work on these things with me. its very disheartening. I appreciate that you are repeating a lot of the same things I've learned from Dr. Levine and Gabor Mate. I just wish I had someone to bounce ideas off of, that helps me process things better.
-You can find other therapists via Psychology Today search:
allceus.com/Psychology_Today_Therapist_Search
Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@@DocSnipes thank you. I am very low income, and I doubt there is anyone that can help me with that in mind. I will look into it though.
Like this woman so much so helpful
Glad you think so!
Hello
Excellent information!!!
Ty
Thank you so much ❤️
Thanks for watching.
Thank you ☺️
Welcome. Thanks for watching.
Thank you for sharing your vocation with us and me too. My vocation is Supporting and Guiding children towards 'A BeComing Reader' with traumatic set-backs etcetera. I am a Mosaic Down Syndrome + Autism with genius moments that keeps me a child,, so we collaborate while helping them to find their Voices as well. *)_(*
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Enhance each other!!!
So HOW DO WE CHANGE ..THE SELF -BLAME *** WHEN THINGS DON'T WORK OUT IN RELATIONSHIPS AND LIFE ...DR.SNIPES???
3/3/2022
👏💝🎤🎯🙏Namaste Doc!!!
Thanks for watching!
Issue is l now find myself totally alone with depression anxiety and disassociation cptsd. My abandonment wound is on red alert and no family member wants to know
Thanks for sharing, and watching. It sounds like you may benefit from working with a licensed, professional counselor. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.