I have worked in the mental health field for many years, and I can tell you this young woman is a testament to someone who values their job as a therapist. I wish there were more people like her on the front lines.
So far, you're my favorite therapist on YT. Your information is not only well-delivered and clearly explained, but you avoid sensationalizing flashy popular topics while risking spreading false information or misunderstanding like a lot of others I've seen. Awesome job! Thank you for the work you do!
Girl I have all of them. And now I'm blaming myself for everything I do and how I do it. I need to stop and take accountability and try help myself because i feel like I'm projecting these things into my love ones. I hate having these thoughts I wish I could stop it all😔
This is wonderful. I’m glad I’ve finally found a name to the things that I do. Sadly, I am 4 out of 6. But this is really helpful to me, so that now that I have a name to them, maybe I can find resources or tools to help me in the moment I am triggered instead of continually snow balling into an argument or tension that didn’t need to be there. 1. Mind Reading 2. Select Abstraction 3. Overgeneralizing 4. Catastrophizing This is a great start to my own awareness. Thank you for sharing!
I've been very guilty of overgeneralization. And personalization. I do feel bad for those things. And everyday, I am working to challenge those things. Journaling helps alot with these things, it helps me track evidence of things that stress me out and allow me to recenter in my reality. I didn't think my last person, would cheat on me. She said that she wouldn't ever. But people surprise you everyday. Thank you so much Steph.
Thank you so much for this video! Could you do a video on childhood trauma/absent parents one day? My friend recommended your channel to me and I'm very glad she did 😊
Interesting to reflect on how the way we were raised influences some of these distortions (the biggest one was catastrophizing). Her example with the book bag hit too close to home, and when she continued with pointing out how others could influence that, I was REALLY like "oh shit" lol. Thanks so much for these videos! I love the content! Now to remember all this so I can implement changes in my own life.....
This video was great! I’m a LCSW and Certified Health coach and while the majority of my content is hair related, I do have a few career/social work/mental health videos sprinkled in there. My content is more of “letting people know about my job experiences in the field”, but your video has challenged me to make more clinically educational content! Great work! #subbed
1. Mind reading 2. Black and white thinking: see things as a whole 3. Selective abstracts: a single detail is highlighted 4. Overgeneralise: you think all men are cheaters, all men are exploitive 5. Personalisation: guilt and shaming yourself over things u could absolutely do nothing. You’ve no control 6. Catastrophizing: you freak out over tiniest things
I know you're tying these examples to your wheelhouse in relationships, but there's a way I can relate to ALL of these distortions with EVERYBODY. I assume that I'm the problem or I'm not worthy or that people hold back what they really think, I could go on but you get the idea. I had never heard of cognitive distortions before, so I definitely want to bring this up to my therapist. It's crystal clear how I relate to each of these, so now I want to figure out what I can do about them. Thanks for this, Steph!
Being a mind reader most times gets me in the problem of assumptions, distrust and or even dismissing the thoughts of the person that I am having the conversation with. Thank you for being so engaging and empowering at the same time.
I do all of these things. I have worked really hard to gain clarity. But this reflection will hopefully be a catalyst for the adjust that is necessary for me to move forward.
The book bag example reminds me of a book I read about how to help my anxious kid. It told me to "be the calm chicken", lol! So, apparently when there's a loud noise, 🐔 will feel alarmed and look around to see what other chickens are doing and if they're flapping around and squawking, the 🐔 will do the same. If the other chickens are used to the sound, and just keep doing their chicken thing, the 🐔 will either not freak out at all, or will calm down very quickly. So, as the mom being called by the crying child about the book bag, it's probably not a great idea to drive it to school, as that will reinforce the idea that it's a disaster. Be supportive, but introduce the idea that it's not really the end of the world. That way, the next "emergency" might feel a bit more manageable.
As a Fearful Avoidant/integrated AC on the way to secure attachment, all or nothing thinking is a huge one for me, as is the tendency to catastrophize any time I see a change in someone's pattern of behavior.
@@StephAnya It came at an extremely high price but I'm glad to finally get there! I'd really love to hear a video on how these cognitive distortions play out during the power struggle phase of relationships, as well as more on the model of the 6 stages of relationship and the various attachment styles. Just a suggestion!
You are so helpful to me..I wish I could come in and get therapy with you. Please keep doing these videos. You are really showing me a lot about myself because these cognitive issues...I have several of these and I see where it really hurt me in the end.
Very interesting, informative subject matter today. I think I find myself doing a few of these things and now I'll try to be more aware so I can try to counteract against them. Thanks for the information.
Hi Steph, my name is Loretta from Ghana. Being watching ur videos for sometime now and it has gine6a long way to help me especially this particular topic. Am very quick to judge persons especially in my romantic relationships. I first didn't realize what I was doing and couldn't control it either. But now am learning alot from ur videos and very much grateful. God bless you 🙏
I love the content. Although I'm in the field myself, your content serves as a great refresher and reminder of information. Also, your delivery is very relatable. Thanks for sharing your expertise with us!
Oh wow you hit the nail on the head I do this all the time. Have been told I push ppl away. All bc of me over generalization. Your videos have been helping me a LOT.
Thank you for sharing your gift and expertise with all of us. I have benefitted greatly from every video of yours I have watched. This particular video helped me continue to do the work with regard to a specific topic I recently had with the guy I am dating (first serious dating experience since my divorce a few years ago). It's such a mind-blowing concept how even when you do the work by yourself, once you start interacting with others, the triggers are still there, and theh show up differently because there's another human involved now. The cognitive distortions that resonated with me are: Overgeneralization (deceived/betrayed in my previous relationship/marriage by my ex-spouse and one of his opposite sex friends), Personalization (feeling guilty angry and ashamed of my decision to be faithful and fully committed and the outcome not matching that) and Selective Abstraction (focusing in on opposite sex relationships while dating now, and battling negative thoughts that agree with the fear of something more than a pure friendship being at play). I'm better in my mind and outlook b/c of this video Steph!!!
You are my new best friend! I love love love your videos! You’re so personable and I enjoy listening to you speak. Thank you for helping me get my life and my love back on track!
All of these. Loll this was a great refresher for myself and my clients. Those are awesome questions, especially when working with clients who are trying to build confidence and confront their distortions.
I relation to the mind reading, sometimes you've already noticed the persons toxic traits so you learn them . So when they say that's not true or thats not what I'm thinking, you don't believe them cause you've already observed their lying ways. This is their fault
Hey Steph Anya! So... Is it possible to have all the distortions? 🤔😂 Thank you explaining this so well. You're about to have me out here sounding like a whole therapist! Lol
I know a few people who do a lot of the "mind reading" (they assume they know what you're thinking and feeling and truly believe that's the truth) and they think they have the gift of claircognizance or clairvoyance. And if you explain that's not what you're thinking or feeling they think you're lying. Smh.
Can you address the issue of seeing micro aggressions, due to prior pain, lenses, conditioning, leading to assumptions, mind reading, mental constructs that apply meaning to others behavior. I’ve heard of people proclaiming a micro aggression…only to find out that the person they accused it of, had their own thing going on. It was interpreted through a very biased lens. It can lead to paranoia, fanning the flame of separation and alienation. Confirmation bias seems to drive a person to do this. I’d love to hear your insight on this!
I'm guilty of 2 and 6. The black and white thing I apply to people's education like in order to know this skill you must go to college and that might be true for some but not all. Also, I believe in order to do some jobs a person needs to be a certain age and when someone is way younger it impresses me and infuriates me because I compare them to myself. I also blow things out of proportion I'm extremely hard on myself and tend to be negative and I don't want to be. I'm a very ordered person some would say a buzz kill. I love phycology but it also scares me because I'm afraid of manipulation and brain games I don't want to be tricked in to thinking or feeling a curtain way.
Just found your page today and I've been binging all day. If you have the time can you do a video on how to work on negative self talk and ways to help with low self esteem?
So if you have all these traits how do you go about changing the bad habits. I hear what you say... but its really not easy to do by yourself. It feels like a "curse".
Yes It’s not a productive way to facilitate a conversation but when you cannot trust that the person is being honest with exactly what they’re thinking you or the situation it’s almost impossible to believe what they say is their reality of things🙈
She did one a year ago. My best advice is to try to scroll down her video content list and look for "Therapist Explains BPD" if you can't find it through all of her content, try looking it up in the search bar while attaching her username.
my mind be on other things even if I engage in act i Don t feel anything if its not connection could be heat of moment I know the difference between lust love I been lusted not love but I gotta stop giving in not fall for any tempation gotta pray harder to stop until god says ia m all about buiness but u dont mix it with pleasure especially if its not ya hubsand
My partner exhibits 4/6 of these distortions. Needless to say, it can be a cycle of chaos. Things will be going So so so good and then something he finds an issue with will just cause chaos. I’ve suggested therapy for us because sometimes things can get extremely hectic for literally NO REASON. Well aside from these reasons listed but the problems could be avoided so much. I
I have worked in the mental health field for many years, and I can tell you this young woman is a testament to someone who values their job as a therapist. I wish there were more people like her on the front lines.
That means so much. Thank you.
100% agree. I love the psychoeducation mixed with the energy.
Thank you for this ma'am
I agree 👍 💯
I agree. I've had my fair share of interactions with many types and she is very effective!
I teach classes in a prison setting and I talk about these distortions. Thank you
Every. Single. One. Applies to me. Especially that looking away....gets me every time.
So far, you're my favorite therapist on YT. Your information is not only well-delivered and clearly explained, but you avoid sensationalizing flashy popular topics while risking spreading false information or misunderstanding like a lot of others I've seen. Awesome job! Thank you for the work you do!
automatic though at this video: 'Cool hair!'
Girl I have all of them. And now I'm blaming myself for everything I do and how I do it. I need to stop and take accountability and try help myself because i feel like I'm projecting these things into my love ones. I hate having these thoughts I wish I could stop it all😔
This is wonderful. I’m glad I’ve finally found a name to the things that I do. Sadly, I am 4 out of 6. But this is really helpful to me, so that now that I have a name to them, maybe I can find resources or tools to help me in the moment I am triggered instead of continually snow balling into an argument or tension that didn’t need to be there.
1. Mind Reading
2. Select Abstraction
3. Overgeneralizing
4. Catastrophizing
This is a great start to my own awareness.
Thank you for sharing!
Never knew what these were called. Thanks for breaking them down!
Thank you for watching! ♥️
I've been very guilty of overgeneralization. And personalization. I do feel bad for those things. And everyday, I am working to challenge those things. Journaling helps alot with these things, it helps me track evidence of things that stress me out and allow me to recenter in my reality. I didn't think my last person, would cheat on me. She said that she wouldn't ever. But people surprise you everyday. Thank you so much Steph.
Thank you so much for this video! Could you do a video on childhood trauma/absent parents one day? My friend recommended your channel to me and I'm very glad she did 😊
YesI would like that also!
Definitely
Interesting to reflect on how the way we were raised influences some of these distortions (the biggest one was catastrophizing). Her example with the book bag hit too close to home, and when she continued with pointing out how others could influence that, I was REALLY like "oh shit" lol.
Thanks so much for these videos! I love the content! Now to remember all this so I can implement changes in my own life.....
That one hit close to home for me as well! I didn't even put that together until now.
This video was great! I’m a LCSW and Certified Health coach and while the majority of my content is hair related, I do have a few career/social work/mental health videos sprinkled in there. My content is more of “letting people know about my job experiences in the field”, but your video has challenged me to make more clinically educational content! Great work! #subbed
So glad to have another clinician on here! I'm always looking for these comments to hold me accountable. Thank you so much for watching and subbing!
I’m so blown away by the info you put on here. Right on the mfn money!
1. Mind reading
2. Black and white thinking: see things as a whole
3. Selective abstracts: a single detail is highlighted
4. Overgeneralise: you think all men are cheaters, all men are exploitive
5. Personalisation: guilt and shaming yourself over things u could absolutely do nothing. You’ve no control
6. Catastrophizing: you freak out over tiniest things
I know you're tying these examples to your wheelhouse in relationships, but there's a way I can relate to ALL of these distortions with EVERYBODY. I assume that I'm the problem or I'm not worthy or that people hold back what they really think, I could go on but you get the idea. I had never heard of cognitive distortions before, so I definitely want to bring this up to my therapist. It's crystal clear how I relate to each of these, so now I want to figure out what I can do about them. Thanks for this, Steph!
Being a mind reader most times gets me in the problem of assumptions, distrust and or even dismissing the thoughts of the person that I am having the conversation with. Thank you for being so engaging and empowering at the same time.
I do all of these things. I have worked really hard to gain clarity. But this reflection will hopefully be a catalyst for the adjust that is necessary for me to move forward.
The book bag example reminds me of a book I read about how to help my anxious kid.
It told me to "be the calm chicken", lol!
So, apparently when there's a loud noise, 🐔 will feel alarmed and look around to see what other chickens are doing and if they're flapping around and squawking, the 🐔 will do the same. If the other chickens are used to the sound, and just keep doing their chicken thing, the 🐔 will either not freak out at all, or will calm down very quickly.
So, as the mom being called by the crying child about the book bag, it's probably not a great idea to drive it to school, as that will reinforce the idea that it's a disaster. Be supportive, but introduce the idea that it's not really the end of the world. That way, the next "emergency" might feel a bit more manageable.
As a Fearful Avoidant/integrated AC on the way to secure attachment, all or nothing thinking is a huge one for me, as is the tendency to catastrophize any time I see a change in someone's pattern of behavior.
I love how much insight you have into your own relational patterns.
@@StephAnya It came at an extremely high price but I'm glad to finally get there! I'd really love to hear a video on how these cognitive distortions play out during the power struggle phase of relationships, as well as more on the model of the 6 stages of relationship and the various attachment styles. Just a suggestion!
🫣 6 out of 6. I have been enlightened and need to change, like yesterday.
You are so helpful to me..I wish I could come in and get therapy with you. Please keep doing these videos. You are really showing me a lot about myself because these cognitive issues...I have several of these and I see where it really hurt me in the end.
Awwww😊 ice compliment
Very interesting, informative subject matter today. I think I find myself doing a few of these things and now I'll try to be more aware so I can try to counteract against them. Thanks for the information.
Thank you for sharing that and watching ♥️
Hi Steph, my name is Loretta from Ghana. Being watching ur videos for sometime now and it has gine6a long way to help me especially this particular topic. Am very quick to judge persons especially in my romantic relationships. I first didn't realize what I was doing and couldn't control it either. But now am learning alot from ur videos and very much grateful. God bless you 🙏
O lawd. I feel so called out. Thank you for the video.
I’m loving your comments haha
@@StephAnya I'm loving your content! I'm excited to see what is next.
Awesome video very useful information loved it!!!
Thank you for watching!! ♥️
I love the content. Although I'm in the field myself, your content serves as a great refresher and reminder of information. Also, your delivery is very relatable. Thanks for sharing your expertise with us!
Oh wow you hit the nail on the head I do this all the time. Have been told I push ppl away. All bc of me over generalization. Your videos have been helping me a LOT.
I’m so glad that you’re finding them helpful!!
Thank you for sharing your gift and expertise with all of us.
I have benefitted greatly from every video of yours I have watched. This particular video helped me continue to do the work with regard to a specific topic I recently had with the guy I am dating (first serious dating experience since my divorce a few years ago). It's such a mind-blowing concept how even when you do the work by yourself, once you start interacting with others, the triggers are still there, and theh show up differently because there's another human involved now.
The cognitive distortions that resonated with me are:
Overgeneralization (deceived/betrayed in my previous relationship/marriage by my ex-spouse and one of his opposite sex friends), Personalization (feeling guilty angry and ashamed of my decision to be faithful and fully committed and the outcome not matching that) and Selective Abstraction (focusing in on opposite sex relationships while dating now, and battling negative thoughts that agree with the fear of something more than a pure friendship being at play).
I'm better in my mind and outlook b/c of this video Steph!!!
So glad to know that they’re helping you!
I thank you for sharing what you know in such a manner that I not only understand, I am motivated to put into practice personally. You are a Gift!
You are my new best friend! I love love love your videos! You’re so personable and I enjoy listening to you speak. Thank you for helping me get my life and my love back on track!
I love your videos! Thanks for giving non-therapists such amazing insight 🤍
Thank you again needed this.
All of these. Loll this was a great refresher for myself and my clients. Those are awesome questions, especially when working with clients who are trying to build confidence and confront their distortions.
It’s looking at the title and ASSUMING I didn’t need to watch it for me 😭 my conscience put me down so fast 😂
Thank you for this- it has helped me in my
Personal relationships tremendously- selective abstraction is real.
Crazy how common these distortions are
Great content again, thank you so much! You deserve so much more followers I don"t get why your channel is underrated
I relation to the mind reading, sometimes you've already noticed the persons toxic traits so you learn them . So when they say that's not true or thats not what I'm thinking, you don't believe them cause you've already observed their lying ways. This is their fault
Hey Steph Anya! So... Is it possible to have all the distortions? 🤔😂 Thank you explaining this so well. You're about to have me out here sounding like a whole therapist! Lol
😂😂 Thank you for such consistent support! Maybe you should consider becoming one! ♥️
I know a few people who do a lot of the "mind reading" (they assume they know what you're thinking and feeling and truly believe that's the truth) and they think they have the gift of claircognizance or clairvoyance. And if you explain that's not what you're thinking or feeling they think you're lying. Smh.
You have a new subscriber, this video made complete sense & explained with perfect examples that give great imagery. Thank you so much for this sis ❤️
Thank you for watching! And welcome 🤗
This is what TH-cam should be about. Much needed. Great content. Sooo glad I came across this channel. Much success to you!
Can you address the issue of seeing micro aggressions, due to prior pain, lenses, conditioning, leading to assumptions, mind reading, mental constructs that apply meaning to others behavior.
I’ve heard of people proclaiming a micro aggression…only to find out that the person they accused it of, had their own thing going on. It was interpreted through a very biased lens. It can lead to paranoia, fanning the flame of separation and alienation. Confirmation bias seems to drive a person to do this.
I’d love to hear your insight on this!
Great video! I feel like I might have experienced some of these with family lol I am guilty of mind reading.
Thanks for sharing! Mind reading is definitely very common.
This was so helpful. 🥺
I'm so glad I found this channel,oh my gawd 🥰
Me too 🥰
My mom is definitely an All or Nothing. When you gave that example or the taking out the i hollered! 😫😫😂
😂 Listen, that was from personal experience! Haha
Great thoughts in this video! Thank you for sharing!
You are awesome! Thank you for these videos!
Which ones have affected me? Well every time you identified a trait had a memory to immediately go with it. So my answer is ALL’OVEM
I'm guilty of 2 and 6. The black and white thing I apply to people's education like in order to know this skill you must go to college and that might be true for some but not all. Also, I believe in order to do some jobs a person needs to be a certain age and when someone is way younger it impresses me and infuriates me because I compare them to myself. I also blow things out of proportion I'm extremely hard on myself and tend to be negative and I don't want to be. I'm a very ordered person some would say a buzz kill. I love phycology but it also scares me because I'm afraid of manipulation and brain games I don't want to be tricked in to thinking or feeling a curtain way.
Thank you.
You shine girlie!
This is genius. Thank you so much!
i love this video, it was so eye opening
Just found your page today and I've been binging all day. If you have the time can you do a video on how to work on negative self talk and ways to help with low self esteem?
You break things down so well. Thanks for your content appreciate it.
Personalisation and catastrophising
I love this ur relationship solver
💚💚💚 All of your advice is extremely helpful. Thank you for clarifying these issues.💚💚💚
So glad you think so! Thank you ♥️
Can you cover dissociation and some tips on how to address that?
Beautiful makeup.
Thank you for this video! I have done all of those behaviors 😞
This is great video
So if you have all these traits how do you go about changing the bad habits. I hear what you say... but its really not easy to do by yourself. It feels like a "curse".
the problem wasn’t the problem, the problem is seeing it as a problem.
I love your videos!
Personalization.....still working on it
how do you not have more subscribers?!
Yes It’s not a productive way to facilitate a conversation but when you cannot trust that the person is being honest with exactly what they’re thinking you or the situation it’s almost impossible to believe what they say is their reality of things🙈
I do 1 and 5.
I am aware of is overgeneralization and overthinking.
Great videos. Could you do a video on BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Thank you
She did one a year ago. My best advice is to try to scroll down her video content list and look for "Therapist Explains BPD" if you can't find it through all of her content, try looking it up in the search bar while attaching her username.
I have done these things & that's why I am probably alone.🥴
What if your strong gut intuition is all the evidence you need and it turns out to be stop on?
thank you
What if you have all of these things?
Is there a video on how to do undo these 6 cognitive distortions? 🥴🙏
I do all of these :(
Lol my toxic trait is that I do all of these
rite you gotta st back in let life take its pass you aways or what evers you know ugh🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😇
"Ruin your life" seems a bit dramatic but yeah cognitive distortions do mess people up big time
I’m guilty of always assuming 😅
I can’t judge 😅
Very therapeutic , and informative LMSW loading
Definitely selective adaptation 😬
❤❤❤
isnt all these very normal things? i have every single one of those....
my mind be on other things even if I engage in act i Don t feel anything if its not connection could be heat of moment I know the difference between lust love I been lusted not love but I gotta stop giving in not fall for any tempation gotta pray harder to stop until god says ia m all about buiness but u dont mix it with pleasure especially if its not ya hubsand
‼️
My partner exhibits 4/6 of these distortions. Needless to say, it can be a cycle of chaos. Things will be going So so so good and then something he finds an issue with will just cause chaos. I’ve suggested therapy for us because sometimes things can get extremely hectic for literally NO REASON. Well aside from these reasons listed but the problems could be avoided so much. I