Well, I think that is what makes it tough. All humans have a laundry list of traits they require in a mate...age, religion, height, body type, social class, attractiveness, ethnicity, values, energy levels, musical tastes, life goals,etc. This list of criteria does not take into account "intellectually stimulating" and you have already eliminated most of humanity. So, the dating pool is quite limited. However, INTJs are aggressive and strategic, so if they are relatively young and type aware they can set out to find their needle in a haystack soul mate.
Summary: - They have to select you. - Interact more than absolutely necessary. If go to social event because you will be there = interest. - Stalking from afar, on internet. This phase lasts a long time for risk assessment. - Learn about you and your patterns. - Struggle to take actions without enough system. - Feelings are uncomfortable, often time would retreat or disappear to deal with emotions. - No casual dating or shallow relationships. Once chose person, they're sure and committed. Often aim for marriage. - Don't beat the round the bush, if sure the other will agree. - Impress through intelligence and skills, that they're worth investing in. - Stagnation isn't an option. They seek out problems in the relationship to fix them. Do not sweep things under rug. - High standard. Vision of where they want the relationship would be. If not there, need to work on. - Hints of disloyalty would make them question long term viability. If see a pattern that they do not like, will bluntly severe the relationship.
I would like to modify a statement... "They prefer to get to know people slowly" to "They prefer to get to know people thoroughly ". The amount of info I gather happens very quickly ,but I just need A LOT MORE info to make my decisions. I have learned I'm a custom fit. I cannot get off-the-rack romance and have it work for me.
INTJs are extremely picky, for one because they play out the timeline of potential relationships in their head far into the future before they consider persuing the relationship. Perhaps this is why we are
When I was set up on a blind phone date with this girl because one of my coworkers was married to one of her coworkers, I talked with her on the phone and via text for months before finding the courage to ask if she wanted to have a date in person. I was so nervous about it, but it went great. We added occasionally meeting in person for dinner or a movie etc. about once a month to our almost daily calls and texts. Over the next two years, we very gradually met more often. It took me a while to figure out that she was someone I could have a relationship with. She was the first girl I'd met who made me feel like I could be myself. We got to know each other 'warts and all' through helping each other with health problems, difficulties at our jobs and other things like that. Our relationship was a friendship long before we realized that we had romantic feelings for each other. We've been married 16 years now. Neither one of us is into social events very much.
@@malakashraf2801 I'm not really sure because she's not as interested in typology as I am. As I recall, she has told me that she took the MBTI in college and got ISFP. The more I learn about type and the more I get to know her, the more I think it could be right.
Can u share me some tricks that u understood intj because I'm intj and mi boyfriend is intj but we can't understood well so it's good if you can help me some hints
You hit the nail right on the head when you said that INTJs would rather be alone than in bad company and that we see most people as bad company Yes, yes, yes!
I would say there are two main reasons the INTJ analyzes a person for such a long time before they make their approach. One, as was stated in this video, the INTJ needs to know with certainty the person they're interested in shares the same or compatible value systems, and this can only be established over time. In other words, there's no point jumping into something just because it seems good at the time. That's how relationships end in disaster. Secondly, the INTJ needs to understand the person on an individual level, what they like, what their preferences are, what are their interests, what type of food they like, where they are vulnerable, what do they despise, what upsets them, what they love, what inspires them, etc. All these things are important to know because then the INTJ can tailor or customize an approach to this person that will not fail. In other words, a highly-functional INTJ does not fail. There is no point wasting your time, devoting your intellect and effort to anything if you're going to come up empty handed. If something is worth pursuing, it's worth having, and if it's worth having, it is worth the time and effort it takes to make sure when that time comes, you will obtain whatever it is you set out to have.
As an INTJ this is very accurate and I will agree with rejection hurting. For me it is really hard to open up emotionally it sort of feels wrong and too vulnerable for me so I avoid it as much as possible so when I do open up that rejection feels like slamming my fingers in a door I don't open often and for them and it really doesn't help that I have never been successful at it so over the years I have become more shut off emotionally which I know is a bad thing. It's just I don't think more people pick up our style of affection because it is so different from the norm I don't know if other INTJs feel the same
I can relate. Although over the years, I've worked on not allowing myself to shut off. But I don't really put myself out there either much anymore (I've had two long-term relationships - one being a marriage). I'm so happy with my life as is now that I have no motivation to date. But if I do find someone I'm interested in (which is really rare) I do bite the bullet and tell them. I finally forced myself to do it because it has to be done. It does get easier with practice. As you get older/more secure/confident, you realize that people are lucky to have you so if they reject you, it's okay. You know there must be someone better for you out there and you dodged a bullet not being with them.
Same. I can make 50 different plans that will change my future life and make a very hard decision (like mooving to another country, change career 3 times, accept very hard work that will litererally kill you but you will earn money...) easely, but when it comes to another rejectuon after months of progress, i just loose my will to going on. At least i got some very good friends, but it really ruins my life for a month or two
I feel the same. Am going on a date with someone tonight, it took me 3 years to start dating again after having my fingers squished in a door a few too many times.
Im a guy, I am here because I just had my first date with an INTJ guy ever. It was both (slightly) awkward and probably THE most intellectually stimulating, satisfying conversation I've ever had with another human being. I'm an ENFP 7w8 usually get told I'm a pretty smart guy, but no THIS GUY is like a whole d*mn x-men power level above my brain power. And one of the few people i really had a hard time reading, not in his face, voice, body language. HYPER practical, i think he programmed himself to socialize (God bless him). I left the date almost entirely unsure if it went well or not (my gut told me it had, but i CANNOT read him - yet!) but i heard from him today and it definitely went well. Wish me luck, I'm actually a tiny bit scared lol
As an INTJ-A, this is 100% accurate. It takes patience if you want the INTJ in your life. Most won't wait. Lol That's why we end up alone more often than not.
As an intj, We won't chase you. We won't compete for you. We won't buy you flowers because it's a holiday. Every day is the same to an INTJ. We will help you accomplish your goals. We will confront you about irrational behavior every time it comes up. If you just don't give a shit about being logical, I wouldn't recommend dating an intj. We will do nice things for you because we want to, not because it's a holiday. We hate societal norms, (holidays, expectations, saying excuse me after burping, dumbass shit like that. ) if you are going to pressure the intj to do this shit I recommend a different personality type.
Right? Like why the hell we gotta do a romantic thing just cuz it's valentines day? Like maybe I wanna do something nice for you in the middle of July or the beginning of November 😆
Generally, but if Fi goes on fire in a courting phase, then valentines day does have some uses. It was like a green light to bomb for me. We can be shameless authentic romantics.
Definitely agree with this assessment. Trying to figure out ways to "fix" INTJ behavior only causes friction and hurt on both sides. In trying to have a relationship with an INTJ you should learn what you are getting into for the long haul. It's definitely not for everyone. I appreciate this video for detailing some of the general issues people will have in said relationship. I was lucky enough to find an intelligent and caring woman to share my life with after missing and false starting some early relationships.
As an INTJ I can confirm this is almost entirely accurate. Also don't worry too much about "socially engineering" an INTJ. They're highly averse to social manipulation, and will probably shut you down hard if you try.
I would say mental connection and having a partner that is patient is also very necessary. Plus not demanding or expecting a partner to act in a certain way. Especially if the only reason is just because that is how it’s been done for years. This definitely won’t work for any relationship. But from my experience as an INTJ woman, nothing has killed my emotions for someone faster, than them trying to make me act a certain way because “that’s what women/partners do” in a relationship.
This is so accurate haha. As an INTJ women, the people I was interested in knew right away cause I can’t hide my stare. I was told that when I like someone, I stare in a specific way and they know I like them directly. I wonder if other INTJs are like that.
I was blessed with a 41 year relationship with my INTJ partner...I too am an INTJ. Recovering from widowhood, I am now in love with an INTP...similar in ways, but dissimilar too...mine is a great fit for me. My INTJ and I were like one person split apart at birth who somehow found each other. I never ever thought I would meet another man I could be attracted to and love, but it HAS happened. INTPs too are very real...mine is very intelligent he does have the INTP procrastination thing. He spent alot of time with me in my home in Latin America...he is a perennial snowbird spending 12 winters in my community where I have lived for 20 years. i own a large comfortable home there with two employees who keep everything neat and tidy..?NO CHORES! So he didnt need to lift a finger. We are spending the summer in his 2 US condos, one in Chcago now amd one in Portland later. I had my luggage unpacked settled in the next day...his luggage was in the middle of the living room floor for three days open so I could barely move around it. I decided this is HIS place and I would do the adapting. He finally got to it. I was proud at how I could just overlook it...younger it would have REALLY bugged me. Same with the overflowing trash. Now I just chuckle and finally he does get around to it. I do the cooking and cleanng up after ...I actually enjoy it sonce I do so little at home. So that I am willing to take responsibility for these things...the other stuff, well he will get to it eventually and he does. It is important to be tolerant and not a nag I think with this personality type...that isnt in my nature anyway. We really do get along exceptionally well considering we are not the same type. All this fell into place easily with my INTJ. But I have to honor this man's uniqueness. Other than the procrastination thing, our valies are totally alligned. I consider myself very very lucky.
The first sentence was so accurate I just liked without realizing... I'm an intj and no one has ever described my view on relationships than how you did in the first 30 seconds.
As an INTJ myself I wouldn’t recommend dating an INTJ lol nor would I recommend dating to my follow INTJs. It’s all the things in life you don’t want to deal with.
I recently hit 50 years old, never been married. And after a poor experience a few years back I decided I would just stay off the market until I found the merchant I want to sell my attention to. It's been a little bit of a discipline not to engage with some folks, but the painful price I pay once I open up my tender heart to the wrong kind of person, is not worth any of the fleeting fun I may have. It was fine for me and my twenties, but definitely does not work now
I have watched numerous videos and could not for the life of me understand how a INTJ works emotionally?! I have been in love with one for 6 years and everything you just said clicked, makes total sense now, with the the way you were able to break it down. Thank you I’m so grateful to you. Also if you are reading this Luc please get a clue because I am not going to wait for you forever. Sincerely ~ INFP ❤️
Objectively look back to the interaction between you and Luc, and you find an answer to a possible outcome. If it's good, tell them. If not, prepare for emotional damage and tell them anyway. 6 years are a long time and if Luc really stayed inside your life that long, that's a good sign. INTJs won't commit to a person that long if they don't like that person, whether it being platonically or romantically.
INTJ here who was married to an INFP for 8 years and dated (sort of still with) another INFP for another 10 years. The whole INTJ/INFP dynamic is a beaut! And puleeeze, you know you'll wait for Luc. 😉 And not to worry, if Luc is attracted to you, then it can be a beautiful match. I ADORE INFPs (every INTJ I've known does and it seems mutual). Y'all are just soooo friggin' adorable and intriguing! 😍But since i know INFPs, make sure you actually TELL Luc you are interested. INTJs are the LAST ones on the planet to read your subtle signals. You're going to have to be direct.
i completely identify with this. casual relationships and one night stand type lifestyle has always digusted me. it is a waste of precious time, one could have used to do truely great things. it also speaks of a certain hedonism and drive by animalistic desire, a lower human class behavior. i often had this talk with people, what your single? as if i am the weird one for disliking shallow, set up to fail accidents, peer pressured into by this weak society
I agree with a lot of what you said, but I would never ask a guy out. Also, I don't mind being chased. The only way anyone has ever succeeded in dating me is chasing me with a rugged determination 😅
It doesn't hurt if the females take their chances as well if she feels attracted enough to her crush. Or else, you might miss your window of opportunity.
Well I’m certainly on the right path then😂-An ENTP who’s head over heels with an INTJ🙃 Don’t mind me doing the typical ENTP thing reading all the comments before watching the video 😅
Great video. I am a 59 Year old INTJ. All your points are spot on, except the social media investigation approach. Systematic with everything is a bulls eye. The trouble is us INTJ really enjoy being alone.
I discovered him in a meeting and my interest was piqued. After a year of observation and learning patterns and talking every now and then and getting all the clues and information together. We've been a couple for 4 weeks now, we went straight into our getting to know phase with questions and long, deep conversations and then we both decided 100% for each other. He's an ISTJ and thought I didn't want anything from him because I seemed so reserved and a bit cold. Hahaha I knew from the first moment I saw him that we would get together and get married. I just had to gain clarity and security and then I was able to open up a little more at the right moment and use all the social skills I had learned, i.e. flirt. He immediately registered the signals and did his best not to let the connection to me break off. We are happy and grateful that it worked and we can now share our lives together and let our relationship grow.
Yup!! Very accurate. The only things I'll say is I've learned to be OK with rejection. It's normal, life goes on, no expectations is my mentality now. And the other person needs to be intellectually stimulating.
Yes, the paranoia is very real. Ever since I've been a part of the MBTI community, I psychoanalyze everyone. You're right about the behavior patterns. I'm hypervigilant of any hint of cheating, infidelity etc. I don't play that game. If stories don't seem to match up or sounds fishy, I'll know. I watch body language and facial gestures for lies, nervousness, discomfort etc to tell if I'm being lied to. It's hard to discern between intuition and anxiety fear when it comes to getting hunches about partners cheating.
54-year old female INTJ here and OMG you ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT! Very nice!! Yep, that's EXACTLY me. I literally said all these things to my partner in my last relationship. The only one that didn't fit me was being insecure/anxious about loyalty. I've never been jealous type. I know I'm a catch and if you don't, and I find out you've not been loyal, then it's over and I move on. But I've never had anyone come close to being disloyal. They probably sense that it won't be tolerated and I don’t date people who haven’t got their values in order. :-). It didn't work out with my last gf because I'm an out lesbian (have been out for 38 years) and she was closeted and did not want anyone to know about us which led to "stagnation" (I literally CAN'T deal with stagnation - always must be moving forward). And I am absolutely not about to go back into the closet after being out since I was 16 years old (I came out for a reason) so I took it to the friend zone. We did date for several years before I changed the status of our relationship. But yeah, I remember explaining all of this to her. I think it's really cute that you're selling a dating guide for INTJs. We must be hard to figure out if people are willing to pay for that! 😂🥰. I'm totally sending her this video. She'll get a kick out of it. Oh, also after reading the comments, I must concur that I tend to actually end up in relationships when I am pursued. I'm a female who only dates females so it can be a bit tricky so I have developed the confidence needed to approach someone but it's just that I rarely ever make the effort to get out there and meet anyone. I'm so happy on my own so no motivation. But all my long-term relationships were with NFs who pursued me. Mostly INFPs (and INFJs/ENFJs). 🥰. That being said, I DO think you are correct that it is probably a better overall situation if the INTJ does the pursuing, at their own pace. I've noticed my feelings tend to be stronger when I'm the pursuer for reasons I won't get into (and no, it's not about the challenge).
I've seen plenty INTJ vids out there but this video takes the cake out of all of them. Really connect 2 a lot of what you said except for the asking a person out thing. Idk if an intj male would be into asking their person of interest but for myself I would never and I'm ok with that :)
My girlfriend is an intj and I adore her. We share Ni and get lost in it, we both laugh about our weakness the Se. When I get lost in Ni Ti loop she gets me out of it, cause her thoughts lead to somewhere and show me how I can get things done and not only live in my head. Fun thing, I selected her xD and then she was like, well you wanted me, you thought enough about it. Data collection and analyses done :) Haha
I'm so happy to hear an INTJ being successful with an INFJ. My first gf (30 years ago ) was an INFJ and although I was head over heals in love with her (we also had the most AMAZING discussions) it didn't work out but I've always adored INFJs. My Mom was one as well. But I always worry we'd be too intense together and have that Te/Fe clash too. How do you two fare with that?
Ah yes, our weakness The Se. I tried kicking a ball back once, but was thwarted by The Se. Wherever there is uneven ground, a wet patch on hard floor or an uneven stack of plates, there also shall lurk The Se. Confound and blast you, The Se...!
I certainly didn’t chase my INTJ! I in fact learned to not chase anyone as I would never become successful with the guys I would incipiently crush on. -INTP
Depends on what you mean by chase. To me, it means getting almost annoying with them, to get them to date you, tongue hanging out, etc. But then there's the chase, and there is a less committed chase. This sort of chase is more what I think you're talking about, the art of reconnaissance. This can be a problem at times, and I experienced it, where somebody thinks you're in hot pursuit, but you're really just reconnoitering. There are some girls that just think when a guy talks to them, he's really in hot pursuit, and considering the Hallmark attitude towards love, it's no surprise. Hmmm, if I'm reading you correctly, you're saying you would never get anywhere with the crushes, because they were crushes. I figured that out rather recently in my own case. I always wondered, how in the world was it so easy for me to talk to girls at a certain stage, and yet in other cases I would freeze up? This is because with crushes, you have romance first in mind. IOW, you're putting the cart in front of the horse. The admiring somebody else's personality, and being able to converse with them, being able to therefore see red flags, is what enables possible romance later. Hallmark, OTOH, is 100% the other way round, as everybody allegedly just loves-at-first-sight and they're happy forever. There's a reason a lot of us, at least introverts, freeze up with the opposite sex that we crush on. Because we know deep down inside, something isn't right. We have nothing but looks to judge, and we're getting all goofy? Perish the thought.
One of the reasons I like ESFJ’s are that they have so much information about people and as they talk they allow me to analyze people systems and structures instead of the natural world which I am usually drawn too. My feedback to them combined with their people skills are incredibly dynamic
So accurate ❤️. I would like to add that we pick very small things as patterns, like How do you treat me when I am in trouble ? If you are least interested or you give excuses. Thats a data point i will pick, and project it in the future. Once these sort of data points show up, INTJs at a mental level detach. They do it so subtly, that the person in front wont even realise it.
Unfortunately for me it is obvious that you guys are gathering data. I just dont like how INTJ use that data to judge people instead of clarifying whats actually happen. People have many circumtances that affects their behaviour. Pattern is important, but not always. Listening, communicating and clarifying why people are doing what they are doing is the better way than assuming. Well INTJ is indeed clever, but come on, brain is not enough to judge. It is multifactorial ...
@@masayuangelanggraini6144 Yes absolutely true. In fact I consciously try to practice communicating with people without judging them. Also I practice believing in possibilities. Thats a major risk and red flag, yet i try as much as i can.
@@arpansaha8323 Yess try your best to give "benefit of the doubts" to people. Most of INTJ I met these days who have reached some level of emotional maturity told me that they regret what they did in the past. Because it is like self sabotage, when they like someone, they dont give much chance to the person and judge them. Now I understand they have paranoia and pessimistic behaviour. For that reasons I understood why they are doing so, they are just afraid to be hurt. Ohh and one more ... be careful with narcissistic people. They know how to act and manipulate INTJ well. They will change their behaviour to suit what you like and you will take it as good patterns. Then that's it ... You can watch dr. Romani in med circle. She explains it very well. Good luck guys! I hope you wont feel the regret later in the future.
@@ACGLENCLAR Believe me, people who have experiences with INTJ will know it even though you ask indirect questions. No one really knows about other people even they know each other for years. Even your husband or your wife. And emotion and behaviour are more complex really. Just give people more chances and time to show themselves. It is hard for everyone these days, and no one is perfect :)
Yes, I run my love life like business. If there is not good return on investment, I will cease investing. I really enjoyed the statement of us liking casual settings and deep conversation! I know those two things together thrill me.
I thought I was a weirdo my whole life. I see myself in this description. I never new this was a thing. I only ever met one other INTJ-t in my ex-girlfriend.
@ Kate. Very accurate. Well done. @ all INTJs. You should investigate your crush while dating and not prior to it. If you miss an opportunity because of that it was a waste of effort. Besides you will learn something during dating that can be applied on your next crush when the original plan fails.
For me I've learned that I need to vet better actually. But I definitely saw the point of view that opportunities can be missed with analysis paralysis
WAY too close to the bone. I’m an INTJ married to another INTJ. I laughed, was embarrassed, recoiled saying that can’t be me (knowing it is). That was a real read
As an INTJ my ideal date would be to show her the differences between OEM and aftermarket components in the transmission I just rebuilt in my basement....and then explain to her why I feel like she represents the aftermarket version more than the OEM. Everyone has the OEM, not everyone has the aftermarket...and it takes a lot of work to figure out the right clearances and install them correctly.
I agree with what is said here and true, we may not like to be chased, but I do want the man to show an active interest otherwise my confidence recedes. I’m coming up to 67 and been alone for most of it although I’ve had many seeking after me. It’s a drag now that all the decades have gone by. 💛 Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so timid and let it be okay to make mistakes and not be so hard on myself. Perfect doesn’t exist, BTW.
It's really weird having known I am this way my whole life (44), thinking I should be different somehow, but not being able to win the battle of change. And then having to accept that it's just who I am because I'll be damned if I agree that we can't change! There's no hope. Lol
Wow, you did a really good job on this. It is 99% accurate. I am an (INTJ 5w4 Sexual Subtype) though and I believe this changes the approach of the INTJ dramatically..I am much more comfortable in a relationship than most INTJs and do not get as cautious/nervous with a romantic partner as say a 5w6 SelfPres would..I am actually quite direct early on and I am far more comfortable with potential rejection than most INTJs. Also, I am fine with short term or long term romance, but I do have a preference for long term relationships, because I see my partner as an energy and time investment..When I first meet a woman I quickly analyze her within 3 meetings. I put her imidiately into either the short term or potential long term catagory. If I place her in the short term catagory I approach her differently and do not make promises or invest as much initially. I am open to seeing where it goes though, due to my preference for long term I will sometimes re-catagorize her into the long term zone. From her perspective it is usually seen as me going from more of a bold sexuality to a more open/caring/gentle response. Basically I can sum it up as...If she is short term my focus is to rock her world and blow her mind..If she is put into long term my focus is to optimize her life to make her life easier/happier and care for her in a way that she has never been cared for before.
@@naruhina1997 The subtypes are a measure of the Eneagram. I do not believe the MB 4 letter code is enough to represent someone fully, so you really need the MB code AND the persons Eneagram main type with wing and their subtype. You can get your Eneagram type with wing by taking an online test, but once you find your main type with wing you have to read about those subtypes yourself to determine which one you are. You can also be more than one subtype. Like when I am stressed/unhealthy I have a tendency to function as a Self Preservation sub type, but when I am healthy/calm I am naturally a Sexual Subtype.
Lmao, it's been 7 months, and I'm still doing the risk assessment 😂. I know he likes me, and while I'm attracted to him, I have to make sure he's the right one 💀
Wow, you nailed it. Either you're an INTJ yourself (though you don't come across that way at all --- good for you) or you're just darn good. While it was a little embarrassing hearing all this, you're spot on and know INTJs better than anyone I've ever seen.
I value your insights very much. I have noticed your points are different from others and very accurate to my ENTJ and INTJ fellows 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️ I love your channel so much! I hope you will post new videos again. Don’t give up your dream. You are very special! Yes you hear it from an ENTJ 🥰🥰🥰
I’m an ENFP and recently met an INTJ online through a mutual friend. We are meeting next month and I just needed to know why he captivates me so much. I have my answers 😅
I'm not so sure about the serious relationship commitment and marriage stuff. I though I was like that but I don't think a lot of people are ready to deal with our weird introverted ways. Casual dating or a sex buddy who you care about seems to be more suitable lol
my ex cheated on me - told him he made one mistake -- cheating on a woman smarter than him (and an INTJ who can put things together and spot lies a mile away)
Pretty much spot on, with the exception i don't chase women. However, I will move closer if reciprocal interest is shown - no man wants to go to jail or endure a lawsuit over a baseless sexual harassment allegation.
Wish I'd known all of this about myself 40 years ago. Not just for personal life but work as well! Was almost at the end of my career when I learned about this.
I really love INTJs they always stimulate me intellectually and push me to be the best version of myself I have an INTJ roommate and to be honest I don't know how she puts up with my eccentricities she just makes me feel like I'm not really an eccentric our conversations seem so natural even though they are eccentric and random I can literally discuss anything and everything with her and the weird thing is she always makes so much sense how can she be so logical like that... to me I'm always like "oh well ....uhm I mean point of view but you know it depends on... etc". Plus I'm an INTP and I have ADHD I get really impulsive and chaotic it kind of exhausts me sometimes to be honest but somehow she doesn't mind it that mach .well I think one day if I decide to get married from a man I'll find an INTJ is the right fit for me .
If you're still dealing with this then I assure you that he's probably working on his feelings. Unless he doesn't like you that is. I stopped talking to my boyfriend for almost two weeks for that process. I didn't mean to ignore them but that time was much needed. To date one of us, it's good to be patient.
@@ieaterasers5986 Thank you soo much for replying to me. I am trying to work on letting him go. I make peace with it. I am not in a situation that I can be distracted by my own feelings too. I have many people depend on me. So I need to go on living and I will be ok. I felt it that we like each other. If we meant to be, we will meet again in a better circumtances. For now the chapter is close. He left the country and he didn't say good bye. I wish him well, nothing else I can do. Thank you again for letting me know.
@@masayuangelanggraini6144 If he didn't even say a goodbye then I am shamed that we even share the same personality. I wish you well, with whatever comes next for you. Just remember that living life in itself is a feat sometimes.
Why do you have to expose me in that way?😂 Don't you understand that there are people who I'm trying to keep these away from their knowledge and that they can be watching this?😂😂😂(jokes aside, very nice video)
This is a problem, opportunity. Savoring the moment for to long. Not having enough time and chances to establish certainty. Fleeting moments are just distracting. Building attraction and anticipation is my ideal way of establishing a connection .
This is heartbreaking, but it is true. Ending everything bluntly is a stupid thing to do, I really regret doing this (multiple times :/). As is expecting girls to appreciate intelligence or education ... most people just don't care about that.
Can confirm that the description is brutally accurate and covers the most important bases. There is only one huge error which is the "they select you" part. I think that comes from female privilege bias. Like people with BPD, they will ruminate on the introject for so long they'll destroy their chances because they seek for the ideal opportunity which doesn't exist. Yes, they will select you, but that doesn't mean they will necessarily take the initiative. Don't use this as an excuse to let them do all the hard work. If it's mutual and you're not capable of cutting the bullshit, use coherent, totally unambiguous clues. They genuinely don't care about presentation if what is underneath is substantial.
I was watching one of your older videos from 2 years ago. I guess im a INTP from the test haha. If i knew you in real life id definitely man up and ask you to hang out, you are to pretty lol
Attending events with someone could also be wishing for the other person to do well and spend time with them in more platonic way while not seeing a relationship with that person as an option. But if that's the case, it's pretty much made clear by the INTJ, Bluntly so.
I'd actually say go ahead and approach if you're interested in an INTJ. It kind of like takes the pressure off us and the occasional unexpectedness can be a welcome break. The infatuation research thing is sort of true though lol. Kind of goes for anything of interest really.
I will add that we really need the other person to be intellectually stimulating or it won't last, no matter how attractive they are
had to break things off with my lady, this was definitely one of the reasons.
100%. This is necessary.
So so important..
Well, I think that is what makes it tough. All humans have a laundry list of traits they require in a mate...age, religion, height, body type, social class, attractiveness, ethnicity, values, energy levels, musical tastes, life goals,etc.
This list of criteria does not take into account "intellectually stimulating" and you have already eliminated most of humanity. So, the dating pool is quite limited.
However, INTJs are aggressive and strategic, so if they are relatively young and type aware they can set out to find their needle in a haystack soul mate.
@@stevedavenport1202 Couldn't have said it any better! I am currently on such a mission. 😅
Summary:
- They have to select you.
- Interact more than absolutely necessary. If go to social event because you will be there = interest.
- Stalking from afar, on internet. This phase lasts a long time for risk assessment.
- Learn about you and your patterns.
- Struggle to take actions without enough system.
- Feelings are uncomfortable, often time would retreat or disappear to deal with emotions.
- No casual dating or shallow relationships. Once chose person, they're sure and committed. Often aim for marriage.
- Don't beat the round the bush, if sure the other will agree.
- Impress through intelligence and skills, that they're worth investing in.
- Stagnation isn't an option. They seek out problems in the relationship to fix them. Do not sweep things under rug.
- High standard. Vision of where they want the relationship would be. If not there, need to work on.
- Hints of disloyalty would make them question long term viability. If see a pattern that they do not like, will bluntly severe the relationship.
Typical INTJ SUMMARY
I was about to say the same. Was looking for a summary in the comments or write one myself.
What a great Summary.
Checks out. Although I'm not uncomfortable with feelings (after years of work and meditation), I have to process stuff in peace to re-strategize.
This woman knows me more than my own mother
Sheesh, tell me about it.
She has dated a few INTJ's
@@ladybluelotus 😂
It's probably because she doesn't know your mother's personality
ahaha thanks I laughed so hard :D - I'm INTJ :) and agree
I would like to modify a statement... "They prefer to get to know people slowly" to "They prefer to get to know people thoroughly ".
The amount of info I gather happens very quickly ,but I just need A LOT MORE info to make my decisions. I have learned I'm a custom fit. I cannot get off-the-rack romance and have it work for me.
exactly
You don't chase them. They have to select you.
ENFPs: Hold my beer.
Funny thing is my girlfriend is an ENFP and I’m INTJ 😭
It’s funny how everytime I date a woman that I’m interested in she’s ENFP, it just works I guess😂
It's a little embarrassing hearing this as a lot is painfully accurate. I love your content, I have been watching it for a few weeks now.
Thank you so much!
INTJs are extremely picky, for one because they play out the timeline of potential relationships in their head far into the future before they consider persuing the relationship.
Perhaps this is why we are
Yeah, and then there's some half-alcoholic guy with 5 kids with three women with no care about anything.
All this time I thought I chased my INTJ, but he informed me that he allowed me to chase him haha
It all happens according to the plan.
When I was set up on a blind phone date with this girl because one of my coworkers was married to one of her coworkers, I talked with her on the phone and via text for months before finding the courage to ask if she wanted to have a date in person. I was so nervous about it, but it went great.
We added occasionally meeting in person for dinner or a movie etc. about once a month to our almost daily calls and texts. Over the next two years, we very gradually met more often. It took me a while to figure out that she was someone I could have a relationship with. She was the first girl I'd met who made me feel like I could be myself. We got to know each other 'warts and all' through helping each other with health problems, difficulties at our jobs and other things like that. Our relationship was a friendship long before we realized that we had romantic feelings for each other.
We've been married 16 years now. Neither one of us is into social events very much.
what is her type
@@malakashraf2801 I'm not really sure because she's not as interested in typology as I am. As I recall, she has told me that she took the MBTI in college and got ISFP. The more I learn about type and the more I get to know her, the more I think it could be right.
@@enfieldjohn101 cool , she could be an infp as they are very compatible with you , but anyways, wish you the best .
@@malakashraf2801 if she was an INFP, the dude would have been ghosted quick and would have had all his plans with her cancelled on.
@@iiii4271 why ? Si child makes infps loyal and patient .
I am an INTJ woman married to an INTJ man and this is very accurate!
Can u share me some tricks that u understood intj because I'm intj and mi boyfriend is intj but we can't understood well so it's good if you can help me some hints
I almost hate how accurate you are with with this. As an INTJ I get it. I want progress. I do not mind disagreement, but trust matters most.
You hit the nail right on the head when you said that INTJs would rather be alone than in bad company and that we see most people as bad company
Yes, yes, yes!
I would say there are two main reasons the INTJ analyzes a person for such a long time before they make their approach. One, as was stated in this video, the INTJ needs to know with certainty the person they're interested in shares the same or compatible value systems, and this can only be established over time. In other words, there's no point jumping into something just because it seems good at the time. That's how relationships end in disaster. Secondly, the INTJ needs to understand the person on an individual level, what they like, what their preferences are, what are their interests, what type of food they like, where they are vulnerable, what do they despise, what upsets them, what they love, what inspires them, etc. All these things are important to know because then the INTJ can tailor or customize an approach to this person that will not fail. In other words, a highly-functional INTJ does not fail. There is no point wasting your time, devoting your intellect and effort to anything if you're going to come up empty handed. If something is worth pursuing, it's worth having, and if it's worth having, it is worth the time and effort it takes to make sure when that time comes, you will obtain whatever it is you set out to have.
As an INTJ this is very accurate and I will agree with rejection hurting. For me it is really hard to open up emotionally it sort of feels wrong and too vulnerable for me so I avoid it as much as possible so when I do open up that rejection feels like slamming my fingers in a door I don't open often and for them and it really doesn't help that I have never been successful at it so over the years I have become more shut off emotionally which I know is a bad thing. It's just I don't think more people pick up our style of affection because it is so different from the norm I don't know if other INTJs feel the same
I can relate. Although over the years, I've worked on not allowing myself to shut off. But I don't really put myself out there either much anymore (I've had two long-term relationships - one being a marriage). I'm so happy with my life as is now that I have no motivation to date. But if I do find someone I'm interested in (which is really rare) I do bite the bullet and tell them. I finally forced myself to do it because it has to be done. It does get easier with practice. As you get older/more secure/confident, you realize that people are lucky to have you so if they reject you, it's okay. You know there must be someone better for you out there and you dodged a bullet not being with them.
Same. I can make 50 different plans that will change my future life and make a very hard decision (like mooving to another country, change career 3 times, accept very hard work that will litererally kill you but you will earn money...) easely, but when it comes to another rejectuon after months of progress, i just loose my will to going on. At least i got some very good friends, but it really ruins my life for a month or two
I feel the same. Am going on a date with someone tonight, it took me 3 years to start dating again after having my fingers squished in a door a few too many times.
Yeah. It sucks for a long time and you will beat yourself up for months if the relationship was anything substantial.
We are worth it. We are committed and loyal. When we say "I love you" we do not say that lightly...we mean it.
Im a guy, I am here because I just had my first date with an INTJ guy ever. It was both (slightly) awkward and probably THE most intellectually stimulating, satisfying conversation I've ever had with another human being. I'm an ENFP 7w8 usually get told I'm a pretty smart guy, but no THIS GUY is like a whole d*mn x-men power level above my brain power. And one of the few people i really had a hard time reading, not in his face, voice, body language. HYPER practical, i think he programmed himself to socialize (God bless him). I left the date almost entirely unsure if it went well or not (my gut told me it had, but i CANNOT read him - yet!) but i heard from him today and it definitely went well. Wish me luck, I'm actually a tiny bit scared lol
Did it worked out for you?
How did it go? I’d love to hear an update.
You should see the interaction with a INFP woman. Pretty fun and scary at the same time.
As an INTJ-A, this is 100% accurate. It takes patience if you want the INTJ in your life. Most won't wait. Lol That's why we end up alone more often than not.
As an intj,
We won't chase you.
We won't compete for you.
We won't buy you flowers because it's a holiday.
Every day is the same to an INTJ.
We will help you accomplish your goals.
We will confront you about irrational behavior every time it comes up. If you just don't give a shit about being logical, I wouldn't recommend dating an intj.
We will do nice things for you because we want to, not because it's a holiday.
We hate societal norms, (holidays, expectations, saying excuse me after burping, dumbass shit like that. ) if you are going to pressure the intj to do this shit I recommend a different personality type.
tell 'em Dirk!!!!
Right? Like why the hell we gotta do a romantic thing just cuz it's valentines day? Like maybe I wanna do something nice for you in the middle of July or the beginning of November 😆
Generally, but if Fi goes on fire in a courting phase, then valentines day does have some uses. It was like a green light to bomb for me. We can be shameless authentic romantics.
Definitely agree with this assessment. Trying to figure out ways to "fix" INTJ behavior only causes friction and hurt on both sides. In trying to have a relationship with an INTJ you should learn what you are getting into for the long haul. It's definitely not for everyone.
I appreciate this video for detailing some of the general issues people will have in said relationship.
I was lucky enough to find an intelligent and caring woman to share my life with after missing and false starting some early relationships.
Excuse me Intjs don't burp@SimplySimpleTurtle
As an INTJ I can confirm this is almost entirely accurate. Also don't worry too much about "socially engineering" an INTJ. They're highly averse to social manipulation, and will probably shut you down hard if you try.
They will shut you down because they are better than others at pattern recognition and will spot it right away.
I would say mental connection and having a partner that is patient is also very necessary. Plus not demanding or expecting a partner to act in a certain way. Especially if the only reason is just because that is how it’s been done for years. This definitely won’t work for any relationship. But from my experience as an INTJ woman, nothing has killed my emotions for someone faster, than them trying to make me act a certain way because “that’s what women/partners do” in a relationship.
She knows us. She knows us well. This is concerning...
She’s too powerful to be kept online…
This is so accurate haha. As an INTJ women, the people I was interested in knew right away cause I can’t hide my stare. I was told that when I like someone, I stare in a specific way and they know I like them directly.
I wonder if other INTJs are like that.
I was blessed with a 41 year relationship with my INTJ partner...I too am an INTJ.
Recovering from widowhood, I am now in love with an INTP...similar in ways, but dissimilar too...mine is a great fit for me.
My INTJ and I were like one person split apart at birth who somehow found each other. I never ever thought I would meet another man I could be attracted to and love, but it HAS happened.
INTPs too are very real...mine is very intelligent he does have the INTP procrastination thing.
He spent alot of time with me in my home in Latin America...he is a perennial snowbird spending 12 winters in my community where I have lived for 20 years. i own a large comfortable home there with two employees who keep everything neat and tidy..?NO CHORES! So he didnt need to lift a finger.
We are spending the summer in his 2 US condos, one in Chcago now amd one in Portland later. I had my luggage unpacked settled in the next day...his luggage was in the middle of the living room floor for three days open so I could barely move around it. I decided this is HIS place and I would do the adapting. He finally got to it. I was proud at how I could just overlook it...younger it would have REALLY bugged me. Same with the overflowing trash. Now I just chuckle and finally he does get around to it. I do the cooking and cleanng up after ...I actually enjoy it sonce I do so little at home. So that I am willing to take responsibility for these things...the other stuff, well he will get to it eventually and he does. It is important to be tolerant and not a nag I think with this personality type...that isnt in my nature anyway. We really do get along exceptionally well considering we are not the same type.
All this fell into place easily with my INTJ. But I have to honor this man's uniqueness. Other than the procrastination thing, our valies are totally alligned. I consider myself very very lucky.
Really liked to read your story. Sorry for your loss. I think INTP can be fun to be around and have nice conversations. They have a great humor.
The first sentence was so accurate I just liked without realizing... I'm an intj and no one has ever described my view on relationships than how you did in the first 30 seconds.
As an INTJ myself I wouldn’t recommend dating an INTJ lol nor would I recommend dating to my follow INTJs. It’s all the things in life you don’t want to deal with.
As an INTJ I agree
As INTJ dating another INTJ it's painful to admit that this kind of pairing should be banned.
@@Braenn666 🤣🤣
@@Braenn666 😂😂😂
I recently hit 50 years old, never been married. And after a poor experience a few years back I decided I would just stay off the market until I found the merchant I want to sell my attention to.
It's been a little bit of a discipline not to engage with some folks, but the painful price I pay once I open up my tender heart to the wrong kind of person, is not worth any of the fleeting fun I may have. It was fine for me and my twenties, but definitely does not work now
I have watched numerous videos and could not for the life of me understand how a INTJ works emotionally?! I have been in love with one for 6 years and everything you just said clicked, makes total sense now, with the the way you were able to break it down. Thank you I’m so grateful to you. Also if you are reading this Luc please get a clue because I am not going to wait for you forever. Sincerely ~ INFP ❤️
You'll probably have to Be Blunt to dear ol' Luc. He's not wired for romantic subtlety.
Just go tell him
Objectively look back to the interaction between you and Luc, and you find an answer to a possible outcome.
If it's good, tell them. If not, prepare for emotional damage and tell them anyway. 6 years are a long time and if Luc really stayed inside your life that long, that's a good sign. INTJs won't commit to a person that long if they don't like that person, whether it being platonically or romantically.
SIX years?! Did they have relationship during this time?
INTJ here who was married to an INFP for 8 years and dated (sort of still with) another INFP for another 10 years. The whole INTJ/INFP dynamic is a beaut! And puleeeze, you know you'll wait for Luc. 😉 And not to worry, if Luc is attracted to you, then it can be a beautiful match. I ADORE INFPs (every INTJ I've known does and it seems mutual). Y'all are just soooo friggin' adorable and intriguing! 😍But since i know INFPs, make sure you actually TELL Luc you are interested. INTJs are the LAST ones on the planet to read your subtle signals. You're going to have to be direct.
Saving this for later so I know what it's like to date me.
I stayed as friends with her for like 3 years tryin to analyse the risk 🙂
I had a similar situation. Eventually took the risk and that didn’t end well. Was going crazy in my head. But at least I have an answer.
No , your se inferior was afraid of rejection and it'll remain this way if you don't fix this problem.
What's the conclusion?
i completely identify with this. casual relationships and one night stand type lifestyle has always digusted me.
it is a waste of precious time, one could have used to do truely great things. it also speaks of a certain hedonism and drive by animalistic desire, a lower human class behavior. i often had this talk with people, what your single?
as if i am the weird one for disliking shallow, set up to fail accidents, peer pressured into by this weak society
I agree with a lot of what you said, but I would never ask a guy out. Also, I don't mind being chased. The only way anyone has ever succeeded in dating me is chasing me with a rugged determination 😅
It doesn't hurt if the females take their chances as well if she feels attracted enough to her crush. Or else, you might miss your window of opportunity.
Well I’m certainly on the right path then😂-An ENTP who’s head over heels with an INTJ🙃 Don’t mind me doing the typical ENTP thing reading all the comments before watching the video 😅
Great video. I am a 59 Year old INTJ. All your points are spot on, except the social media investigation approach. Systematic with everything is a bulls eye. The trouble is us INTJ really enjoy being alone.
I discovered him in a meeting and my interest was piqued. After a year of observation and learning patterns and talking every now and then and getting all the clues and information together. We've been a couple for 4 weeks now, we went straight into our getting to know phase with questions and long, deep conversations and then we both decided 100% for each other. He's an ISTJ and thought I didn't want anything from him because I seemed so reserved and a bit cold. Hahaha I knew from the first moment I saw him that we would get together and get married. I just had to gain clarity and security and then I was able to open up a little more at the right moment and use all the social skills I had learned, i.e. flirt. He immediately registered the signals and did his best not to let the connection to me break off. We are happy and grateful that it worked and we can now share our lives together and let our relationship grow.
Yup!! Very accurate. The only things I'll say is I've learned to be OK with rejection. It's normal, life goes on, no expectations is my mentality now. And the other person needs to be intellectually stimulating.
Yes, the paranoia is very real. Ever since I've been a part of the MBTI community, I psychoanalyze everyone. You're right about the behavior patterns. I'm hypervigilant of any hint of cheating, infidelity etc. I don't play that game. If stories don't seem to match up or sounds fishy, I'll know. I watch body language and facial gestures for lies, nervousness, discomfort etc to tell if I'm being lied to. It's hard to discern between intuition and anxiety fear when it comes to getting hunches about partners cheating.
54-year old female INTJ here and OMG you ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT! Very nice!! Yep, that's EXACTLY me. I literally said all these things to my partner in my last relationship. The only one that didn't fit me was being insecure/anxious about loyalty. I've never been jealous type. I know I'm a catch and if you don't, and I find out you've not been loyal, then it's over and I move on. But I've never had anyone come close to being disloyal. They probably sense that it won't be tolerated and I don’t date people who haven’t got their values in order. :-). It didn't work out with my last gf because I'm an out lesbian (have been out for 38 years) and she was closeted and did not want anyone to know about us which led to "stagnation" (I literally CAN'T deal with stagnation - always must be moving forward). And I am absolutely not about to go back into the closet after being out since I was 16 years old (I came out for a reason) so I took it to the friend zone. We did date for several years before I changed the status of our relationship. But yeah, I remember explaining all of this to her. I think it's really cute that you're selling a dating guide for INTJs. We must be hard to figure out if people are willing to pay for that! 😂🥰. I'm totally sending her this video. She'll get a kick out of it.
Oh, also after reading the comments, I must concur that I tend to actually end up in relationships when I am pursued. I'm a female who only dates females so it can be a bit tricky so I have developed the confidence needed to approach someone but it's just that I rarely ever make the effort to get out there and meet anyone. I'm so happy on my own so no motivation. But all my long-term relationships were with NFs who pursued me. Mostly INFPs (and INFJs/ENFJs). 🥰. That being said, I DO think you are correct that it is probably a better overall situation if the INTJ does the pursuing, at their own pace. I've noticed my feelings tend to be stronger when I'm the pursuer for reasons I won't get into (and no, it's not about the challenge).
I've seen plenty INTJ vids out there but this video takes the cake out of all of them. Really connect 2 a lot of what you said except for the asking a person out thing. Idk if an intj male would be into asking their person of interest but for myself I would never and I'm ok with that :)
My girlfriend is an intj and I adore her. We share Ni and get lost in it, we both laugh about our weakness the Se.
When I get lost in Ni Ti loop she gets me out of it, cause her thoughts lead to somewhere and show me how I can get things done and not only live in my head.
Fun thing, I selected her xD and then she was like, well you wanted me, you thought enough about it. Data collection and analyses done :)
Haha
I'm so happy to hear an INTJ being successful with an INFJ. My first gf (30 years ago ) was an INFJ and although I was head over heals in love with her (we also had the most AMAZING discussions) it didn't work out but I've always adored INFJs. My Mom was one as well. But I always worry we'd be too intense together and have that Te/Fe clash too. How do you two fare with that?
Ah yes, our weakness The Se. I tried kicking a ball back once, but was thwarted by The Se. Wherever there is uneven ground, a wet patch on hard floor or an uneven stack of plates, there also shall lurk The Se. Confound and blast you, The Se...!
I am an Intj you nailed it long story short we don't fuck around we get after it!
I certainly didn’t chase my INTJ! I in fact learned to not chase anyone as I would never become successful with the guys I would incipiently crush on. -INTP
Depends on what you mean by chase. To me, it means getting almost annoying with them, to get them to date you, tongue hanging out, etc. But then there's the chase, and there is a less committed chase. This sort of chase is more what I think you're talking about, the art of reconnaissance. This can be a problem at times, and I experienced it, where somebody thinks you're in hot pursuit, but you're really just reconnoitering. There are some girls that just think when a guy talks to them, he's really in hot pursuit, and considering the Hallmark attitude towards love, it's no surprise.
Hmmm, if I'm reading you correctly, you're saying you would never get anywhere with the crushes, because they were crushes. I figured that out rather recently in my own case. I always wondered, how in the world was it so easy for me to talk to girls at a certain stage, and yet in other cases I would freeze up? This is because with crushes, you have romance first in mind. IOW, you're putting the cart in front of the horse. The admiring somebody else's personality, and being able to converse with them, being able to therefore see red flags, is what enables possible romance later. Hallmark, OTOH, is 100% the other way round, as everybody allegedly just loves-at-first-sight and they're happy forever. There's a reason a lot of us, at least introverts, freeze up with the opposite sex that we crush on. Because we know deep down inside, something isn't right. We have nothing but looks to judge, and we're getting all goofy? Perish the thought.
ENTP here and same.
Ha ha ha, Let's hear it! I'm an INTJ dating an INTJ.
NICE! I bet that's fun 😅
@@TypeMatch it's quite interesting! 😅 Just finished the video. Yes, I think it's accurate. Well done!
wow
That’s the best kind of relationship!
I'm so jealous! I want that.
One of the reasons I like ESFJ’s are that they have so much information about people and as they talk they allow me to analyze people systems and structures instead of the natural world which I am usually drawn too. My feedback to them combined with their people skills are incredibly dynamic
So accurate ❤️. I would like to add that we pick very small things as patterns, like
How do you treat me when I am in trouble ?
If you are least interested or you give excuses.
Thats a data point i will pick, and project it in the future.
Once these sort of data points show up, INTJs at a mental level detach.
They do it so subtly, that the person in front wont even realise it.
Unfortunately for me it is obvious that you guys are gathering data. I just dont like how INTJ use that data to judge people instead of clarifying whats actually happen. People have many circumtances that affects their behaviour. Pattern is important, but not always. Listening, communicating and clarifying why people are doing what they are doing is the better way than assuming. Well INTJ is indeed clever, but come on, brain is not enough to judge. It is multifactorial ...
@@masayuangelanggraini6144 That is why i ask indrect questions to gather more data.
@@masayuangelanggraini6144 Yes absolutely true. In fact I consciously try to practice communicating with people without judging them.
Also I practice believing in possibilities. Thats a major risk and red flag, yet i try as much as i can.
@@arpansaha8323 Yess try your best to give "benefit of the doubts" to people. Most of INTJ I met these days who have reached some level of emotional maturity told me that they regret what they did in the past. Because it is like self sabotage, when they like someone, they dont give much chance to the person and judge them. Now I understand they have paranoia and pessimistic behaviour. For that reasons I understood why they are doing so, they are just afraid to be hurt.
Ohh and one more ... be careful with narcissistic people. They know how to act and manipulate INTJ well. They will change their behaviour to suit what you like and you will take it as good patterns. Then that's it ...
You can watch dr. Romani in med circle. She explains it very well.
Good luck guys! I hope you wont feel the regret later in the future.
@@ACGLENCLAR Believe me, people who have experiences with INTJ will know it even though you ask indirect questions.
No one really knows about other people even they know each other for years. Even your husband or your wife. And emotion and behaviour are more complex really. Just give people more chances and time to show themselves. It is hard for everyone these days, and no one is perfect :)
This MBTI is crazy. You just described me the whole video
Yes, I run my love life like business. If there is not good return on investment, I will cease investing.
I really enjoyed the statement of us liking casual settings and deep conversation! I know those two things together thrill me.
I thought I was a weirdo my whole life. I see myself in this description. I never new this was a thing. I only ever met one other INTJ-t in my ex-girlfriend.
@ Kate. Very accurate. Well done.
@ all INTJs. You should investigate your crush while dating and not prior to it. If you miss an opportunity because of that it was a waste of effort. Besides you will learn something during dating that can be applied on your next crush when the original plan fails.
mams literally trying to teach intjs
For me I've learned that I need to vet better actually. But I definitely saw the point of view that opportunities can be missed with analysis paralysis
To date me, just allow yourself to open up to me. Even if you don't at first I still pour out who I am. Opening up is all I want in return.
I am an Intj, and this is very accurate. Thank you
I am an intj, and your assessment is spot on👍
As an INTJ, this is accurate. Side note: Wow, that stripe on the wall is awesome interior design.
I’m am INTJ and I approve this video. I think the way we (INTJ people) behave is absolutely normal
The accuracy . . . 💀
WAY too close to the bone. I’m an INTJ married to another INTJ. I laughed, was embarrassed, recoiled saying that can’t be me (knowing it is). That was a real read
As an INTJ my ideal date would be to show her the differences between OEM and aftermarket components in the transmission I just rebuilt in my basement....and then explain to her why I feel like she represents the aftermarket version more than the OEM. Everyone has the OEM, not everyone has the aftermarket...and it takes a lot of work to figure out the right clearances and install them correctly.
Not even two minutes in, and you nailed it. That's me. That's me to a "T!"
I agree with what is said here and true, we may not like to be chased, but I do want the man to show an active interest otherwise my confidence recedes. I’m coming up to 67 and been alone for most of it although I’ve had many seeking after me. It’s a drag now that all the decades have gone by. 💛 Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so timid and let it be okay to make mistakes and not be so hard on myself. Perfect doesn’t exist, BTW.
Realest ishhh I EVER heard!!😆😆 and BELIEVE...we see ALLllllllll your patterns. Struggle taking action is real. We can wait you out fer everrrrr!!
This is accurate for my sub-early 20s self when under-developed.
It's really weird having known I am this way my whole life (44), thinking I should be different somehow, but not being able to win the battle of change. And then having to accept that it's just who I am because I'll be damned if I agree that we can't change! There's no hope. Lol
Wow, you did a really good job on this. It is 99% accurate. I am an (INTJ 5w4 Sexual Subtype) though and I believe this changes the approach of the INTJ dramatically..I am much more comfortable in a relationship than most INTJs and do not get as cautious/nervous with a romantic partner as say a 5w6 SelfPres would..I am actually quite direct early on and I am far more comfortable with potential rejection than most INTJs.
Also, I am fine with short term or long term romance, but I do have a preference for long term relationships, because I see my partner as an energy and time investment..When I first meet a woman I quickly analyze her within 3 meetings. I put her imidiately into either the short term or potential long term catagory. If I place her in the short term catagory I approach her differently and do not make promises or invest as much initially. I am open to seeing where it goes though, due to my preference for long term I will sometimes re-catagorize her into the long term zone. From her perspective it is usually seen as me going from more of a bold sexuality to a more open/caring/gentle response.
Basically I can sum it up as...If she is short term my focus is to rock her world and blow her mind..If she is put into long term my focus is to optimize her life to make her life easier/happier and care for her in a way that she has never been cared for before.
what are these sexual subtypes? I've never heard of them
@@naruhina1997 The subtypes are a measure of the Eneagram. I do not believe the MB 4 letter code is enough to represent someone fully, so you really need the MB code AND the persons Eneagram main type with wing and their subtype. You can get your Eneagram type with wing by taking an online test, but once you find your main type with wing you have to read about those subtypes yourself to determine which one you are. You can also be more than one subtype. Like when I am stressed/unhealthy I have a tendency to function as a Self Preservation sub type, but when I am healthy/calm I am naturally a Sexual Subtype.
Lmao, it's been 7 months, and I'm still doing the risk assessment 😂. I know he likes me, and while I'm attracted to him, I have to make sure he's the right one 💀
Wow, you nailed it. Either you're an INTJ yourself (though you don't come across that way at all --- good for you) or you're just darn good. While it was a little embarrassing hearing all this, you're spot on and know INTJs better than anyone I've ever seen.
This is very accurate. The patterns rule everything… if I can’t identify the patterns I do not engage.
I value your insights very much. I have noticed your points are different from others and very accurate to my ENTJ and INTJ fellows 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️ I love your channel so much! I hope you will post new videos again. Don’t give up your dream. You are very special! Yes you hear it from an ENTJ 🥰🥰🥰
Spot on. Very perceptive. Well done.
It sounds like INTJ do not get very many opportunities to date with their personality getting in the way.
I’m an ENFP and recently met an INTJ online through a mutual friend. We are meeting next month and I just needed to know why he captivates me so much. I have my answers 😅
How did it go
Yes. Tell us more.
I think I've been selected. She was dressed cute, feminine, asked questions and shared thoughts and feelings.
I'm not so sure about the serious relationship commitment and marriage stuff. I though I was like that but I don't think a lot of people are ready to deal with our weird introverted ways. Casual dating or a sex buddy who you care about seems to be more suitable lol
Yeaaa I'm thinking that too. Plus a lot of people been "ran through" I don't deal with leftovers.
This is very accurate. Good job!
Wow you really explain INTJ dating precisely.🎉
my ex cheated on me - told him he made one mistake -- cheating on a woman smarter than him (and an INTJ who can put things together and spot lies a mile away)
Pretty much spot on, with the exception i don't chase women. However, I will move closer if reciprocal interest is shown - no man wants to go to jail or endure a lawsuit over a baseless sexual harassment allegation.
Mind blowing. Thank you. I struggle to understand myself. Textbook INTJ here. 57m bachelor. Never intended to marry, never will.
Sometimes I want to and sometimes I don't want to, I don't understand myself. xD
Wish I'd known all of this about myself 40 years ago. Not just for personal life but work as well! Was almost at the end of my career when I learned about this.
Holy shit this is creepy accurate 😳 I thought I was unique but damm 100% my weaknesses is exposed, I've been predicted
I feel seen and roasted.
Thank you.
Myself and my partner are both INTJ, and we’re so in sync that it sometimes drive me crazy. We keep reading each other’s mind and it weirds me out.
Thank you, I appreciate you making this video
I really love INTJs they always stimulate me intellectually and push me to be the best version of myself I have an INTJ roommate and to be honest I don't know how she puts up with my eccentricities she just makes me feel like I'm not really an eccentric our conversations seem so natural even though they are eccentric and random I can literally discuss anything and everything with her and the weird thing is she always makes so much sense how can she be so logical like that...
to me I'm always like "oh well ....uhm I mean point of view but you know it depends on... etc". Plus I'm an INTP and I have ADHD I get really impulsive and chaotic it kind of exhausts me sometimes to be honest but somehow she doesn't mind it that mach .well I think one day if I decide to get married from a man I'll find an INTJ is the right fit for me .
I’m laughing out of embarrassment because this is so true 😂
Disloyalty disgusts me
as an INTJ i swear everything she said TRUE !!! Lol that's a bit scary idk
I think the biggest problem is to differentiate either he is ghosting you or just need time to analyse his feelings :'(
My INTJ crush ghost me 😔
If you're still dealing with this then I assure you that he's probably working on his feelings. Unless he doesn't like you that is. I stopped talking to my boyfriend for almost two weeks for that process. I didn't mean to ignore them but that time was much needed. To date one of us, it's good to be patient.
@@ieaterasers5986 Thank you soo much for replying to me. I am trying to work on letting him go. I make peace with it. I am not in a situation that I can be distracted by my own feelings too. I have many people depend on me. So I need to go on living and I will be ok. I felt it that we like each other. If we meant to be, we will meet again in a better circumtances. For now the chapter is close. He left the country and he didn't say good bye. I wish him well, nothing else I can do.
Thank you again for letting me know.
@@masayuangelanggraini6144
If he didn't even say a goodbye then I am shamed that we even share the same personality. I wish you well, with whatever comes next for you. Just remember that living life in itself is a feat sometimes.
@@ieaterasers5986 thank you for your kind words. Wish you good luck too.
@@masayuangelanggraini6144
You're welcome.
That sounds just like me. The challenge is in actually getting into a relationship. That I think I won't do, though who knows; we'll see, I guess.
Why do you have to expose me in that way?😂 Don't you understand that there are people who I'm trying to keep these away from their knowledge and that they can be watching this?😂😂😂(jokes aside, very nice video)
not all people are bad company ... just company ... I don´t need it at all, good or bad 😂 for a longer time ...
This is a problem, opportunity. Savoring the moment for to long. Not having enough time and chances to establish certainty. Fleeting moments are just distracting. Building attraction and anticipation is my ideal way of establishing a connection .
You know it very well. Great insight. It most have come to you first hand.
Yup, absolutely correct (to me) on everything, lol
Right, like the retreating thing is something I'm always doing
By the way I love this video. Multiple times watching! I think someone just telling me exactly what I do is completely attractive!
This is heartbreaking, but it is true.
Ending everything bluntly is a stupid thing to do, I really regret doing this (multiple times :/).
As is expecting girls to appreciate intelligence or education ... most people just don't care about that.
I agree 100% to what you said.
Can confirm that the description is brutally accurate and covers the most important bases. There is only one huge error which is the "they select you" part. I think that comes from female privilege bias. Like people with BPD, they will ruminate on the introject for so long they'll destroy their chances because they seek for the ideal opportunity which doesn't exist. Yes, they will select you, but that doesn't mean they will necessarily take the initiative. Don't use this as an excuse to let them do all the hard work. If it's mutual and you're not capable of cutting the bullshit, use coherent, totally unambiguous clues. They genuinely don't care about presentation if what is underneath is substantial.
Excellent feedback.
I was watching one of your older videos from 2 years ago. I guess im a INTP from the test haha. If i knew you in real life id definitely man up and ask you to hang out, you are to pretty lol
God damn, I feel like I'm under a microscope. I've been discovered and I'm retreating!!
Attending events with someone could also be wishing for the other person to do well and spend time with them in more platonic way while not seeing a relationship with that person as an option. But if that's the case, it's pretty much made clear by the INTJ, Bluntly so.
I'd actually say go ahead and approach if you're interested in an INTJ. It kind of like takes the pressure off us and the occasional unexpectedness can be a welcome break. The infatuation research thing is sort of true though lol. Kind of goes for anything of interest really.
One minute in i feel naked ...........
Thank you. This was so informative