My daughter is an INTJ she was a mystery for me in her early childhood because I had never come across a child like her. As a child she was honest to the point it would be brutal sometimes, she was independent, observed her surrounding very closely like she was studying them closely and she is a deep thinker. She loved to work for hours on her projects and is really curious about how mechanical and electronic things worked and would try to take things apart and rebuild them. She isn’t comfortable around new people but is fiercely loyal to her close friends (which she is highly selective about) and certain family members. I used the word fierce because she has a lot of passion in her, almost like a worrier. She’ll be turning 13 in a few months and she’s turning out to be quite a young woman.
your story is like a reflection of me when i was younger, its almost accurately describing me in my childhood days, i hope you would support your daughter like for the resources she needs for her to learn and experiment her own craft, like i really wish that when i was at that age, like if only i have a computer, a money to buy my own tools, to buy my own electronics to learn from, if you give her resources and let her learn on her own, her future self will really thank you, because it will build her the foundation in skills she will ever need in her career, damn how i wish i have the resources i need when i was at that age
Get her involved in some physical things as that tends to be a weakness of INTJs. Find a sport or expression that she is keen on and encourage/push her towards it so she isn’t always in her head. Ideally something she does solely by herself and another thing where she is part of a team. Even if it isn’t her greatest joy, it sure helps to give them more balance, functioning capabilities, for Life ahead. Discuss it with her and hopefully she will see the wisdom of the actions.
Male INTJ here, planned the world out, expected to die first, wife of 20 years diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer out of the blue during covid pandemic, docs said she would live for decades, but died 5 months later leaving me to raise our 5 year old. Incredibly hard to adapt to, but not impossible. But I guess I say this because the best laid plans of mice and men, still fail.
As a male INTJ, planning 100+ years out for my family goals really struck home. I live my life with the purpose of providing the best future for not my kids but my greatgreat grandchildren. Which totally makes sense to me but rarely anyone I express those feelings to.
Yes, it's called building an empire or dynasty. I think planning anything less is pretty myopic. The sad thing is you are limited in making it fool proof for when you are dead and have to leave it in the hands of others to manage.
OCD is an issue for some intjs. It's a problem and those loops can be hard to get out of. Most intjs I've met feel very deeply. They don't talk about their feelings unless they trust someone. If he shares them with you and your family, you are his trusted people. Also perspectives are usually an intj's strong trait. Theories of what other people might feel or think, their motives, philosophy...we tend to really dig that stuff.
OCD is an issue for high introverted sensing because there is certain way things should be done. INTJ has inferior Se meaning sometimes they suck at maintaining themselves or their surroundings. Ni-Fi loops makes INTJ lazy. Si-Fi loop makes ISTJ obsessive: reliving certain experiences over and over again.
@@eliannahankin2971 what i understand is that INTJs, especially in loops, get extremely obsessive about one idea or abstract goal while ISTJs get obsessive about physical setups, both of which attribute to OCD tendencies (not saying all intjs or istjs have OCD). what it looks like in to an observer is that an INTJ isn't doing much so they come off as lazy while ISTJs are overstimulating themselves for physical systems. Inferior Se contributes to them being afraid of either doing things or as she mentioned, doing things without looking at the sensory facts properly, even though that information may be very obvious to a "sensor".
I wonder if INTJs ever miss or think of their exes that they really connected with but had to breakup with cause of "time". The guy I met thought I was "the one" but brokeup with me because of our different political views and because he was afraid he couldn't give me the time that I needed from him.
Sure they do. But he broke up because of betrayal or disloyalty. How can he row the boat forward if your rowing backwards. That’s how his brain thinks.
I'm INTJ. He puts things thighty to be easier to find. Why? Because when you are putting things away you have slotted time to do so. In contrast, when you are looking for things, you need then right now, meaning you don't have time to look for them. There is a huge diference.
Yes. I get very angry when I need something that I've left somewhere where it's easy to find and easily to hand, only to find it's been moved for "aesthetics". If I need something, I need it then and there, and having to go looking for it or hunting around for it is a waste of time. I know when I had to phone these people (bad start...), they asked me for something I didn't think I'd need so I had to go hunting through all these drawers, bags and papers looking for it and it got rather overwhelming. That sort of thing is a nightmare.
I’m an ISTP, I’m pretty sure my step dad is an INTJ and I totally agree. He spends a lot of his time thinking of the future and where he wants to be in life that he’ll not really consider what is happening in the day to day moments.
Must be nice for job interviews. When they ask, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I tilt my head like a dog that thinks he heard "park" and I'm thinking "YEARS? She said YEARS didn't she?"
I’m an INTJ and I can see a lot of what you said here in myself. However, I will say I think I’m different when it comes to openness to other perspectives. No two INTJs are going to be exactly alike in all of their INTJ traits, of course, so this makes sense. But for me, I’m always willing to hear other perspectives and, at the least, keep those in mind when I act. I think INTJs are very logical and we can see that any sources of information should be taken into account at least initially, or else we could be missing something. Part of being efficient is trying NOT to fail the first time around at something, or failing as efficiently as possible if that makes sense. Like your husband, I welcome failure because it can be a big learning point, but if there is someone who has failed before you, I see it as “maybe it’s smartest NOT to do it the same way that they are saying they failed, at least on my first try.” I’m definitely stubborn so this can be a bit of a war within me (sometimes it’s fun to just prove people wrong), but you need to be smart about it and it all depends on all of the specific factors in the situation. Thanks for making this video by the way - it was fun to watch! I first followed you because I’ve been working on a novel in which the main character is ISTP. I’m looking forward to whatever you post in the future :)
It's funny how you manage to answer yourself so quickly with the contradiction of being both open to new perspectives and stubborn. xD Don't get me wrong, I agree this contradiction is very true for us INTJs; the way I see it, our Se exploration of perspectives (be it by experience or, quite often, abstraction) weights out a lot of unrelated facts for our Ni to converge into, or to draw a picture of, a pattern. Much like neuroplasticity and the forming of habits playoff each other, eventually the path of least resistance carves a solid trail, and that's when we get "stubborn": "oh, well, after much consideration, it seems going away from this line of thought isn't as effective or accurate", so the need to explore is subdued. Honestly? rightly so. That's when high Se/Ne users accuse us of being "close minded"; they wanna keep trying out new ideas or ways of doing things for the sake of experimentation. Almost as if doing things differently was more valuable than getting them done. C'mon, why bother? hahaha I can almost feel that what you wrote branches out in your mind to other rabbit holes. There's only so much we can express. btw, let me help you with editing excerpts of the novel... for some reason I find it really satisfying.
@@heedmywarning2792 A mode/stage. I see where you're getting and I entertained the thought. Different from the car, the issue of the mind, or the self, is more complex. A car can't be moving and not moving at the same time (if we consider only one reference point), whereas one could be said stubborn and open-minded at a single instance, since our sense of self encompasses more than one "agent". When we isolate the self in this type of abstraction, these coexistent agents can be contradictory. It's not only a matter of semantics, but of a deeper understanding of what one is.
Thank you for your comment. I’m an INTJ ([soon to be adult] - cause I’m 19) woman, and I’ve been questioning myself so much about it and made plenty of researches because I wasn’t really feeling like being one. The thing is, I dated an INTJ guy and we differ in many traits even tho we have some similar traits at the same time. He’s more intrigued in political type of discussion while I’m more in the philosophical type of discussions/aspects of things. He’s more interested into data fields and even tho I enjoy it, I’m more comfortable with everything related to letters and Law (reforms etc..). We both can be very outgoing but I may sometimes (at least more than him) try to have a friendly [somewhat misunderstood] approach. But, I embrace failure sometimes despite being quite perfectionist in my work which he rarely does. But your comment was very refreshing to read, because I now believe that all INTJs even if we have similar characteristics that makes us INTJs we’re still also very unique. I’m just gonna deepen my researches on that.
It might be helpful, @@val2044, to take into account what was the distinction of introverted and extraverted functions to Carl Jung: introverted is subjective, extraverted, objective. Not outgoing and shy; objective and subjective. Being an INTJ it means you have 2 (at least relatively) conscious introverted functions, out of 4, Ni and Fi: introverted intuition and feeling. The uniqueness in our values can mostly be due to our Fi. Pair that with the obsessiveness of Ni, and there's our tendency to go deep into what sparks our interest, making us specially quirky and excentric. Apart from that, Objective Personality has a system that distinguishes a type of INTJ that is different from the general archetype: the jumper, that mainly uses Ni/Fi as prefered functions, rather than the typical Ni/Te. Either way, the further we develop our Fi, or in more simple terms, the more we go along with our interests, the more we grow apart from each other. And, to be honest, I feel that's just brilliant. :)
Creating systems eliminates the need for constantly thinking about pointless things. You can maintain these systems while thinking about other things. That's what makes it more efficient
1. He is very organized; 2. He is very sarcastic; 3. He is often in is head; 4. He is a doer; 5. He's not much emotional; 6. He gets very bored in social situations; 7. 8. 9. 10.
Male INTJ-A here. My wardrobe is similar, basically the same shirts in black/navy/grey. All hanging. Specific draws for folded pants/shorts/socks etc I work in manufacturing, so the 5S system of a "place for everything & everything in its place" suits my functions, especially at home. Pointless conversation can be extremely frustrating, especially if the same topic is repeated with the same person. I tend to have music on when doing tasks that would seem tedious. Cooking, cleaning, mowing, vehicle maintenance etc become enjoyable because the mind can be distracted by more complex time signatures while completing the task at hand to my standard. If people distract me in a train of thought, clicking my fingers to a specific tune helps me return to my thoughts instead of being lost and becoming frustrated at that person. With 3 older brothers and an ex military father, as a male child, showing emotion was forbidden. As an empath and Pisces, this is a contradiction to my internal feelings. I still struggle to show any or share it openly with anyone, which makes me socially awkward. The biggest challenge that I feel i have been successful in was to not prevent my son from being emotional and express his feelings when he has them. We may not be too sociable, but people watching is always fascinating. Particularly large shopping centres. I learned a lot about social interaction and networking this way as a teenager. I tend to take on a persona in different social interactions that tie closely to the clothes im wearing or directly to the people attending. All of which is mentally and emotionally draining. A mistake is only so, if you miss the opportunity to learn from it. I'm a visual/practical learner. I learn more from videos or from hands on then reading something that has a practical application, but like to have the theory as a reference if I get stuck. Usually once I'm competent to not need the theory I'll start tweaking procedures to make things more efficient. I'm also a risk taker. Played a lot of contact sports here in Australia. Rode dirt bikes as a kid and have a street motorcycle now. Like jumping from heights into water, night surfing, going fast. Tend to see fear as a challenge to overcome rather then a reason to stop. Scars just make for funny stories of the past, and evidence of a life lived :) Although we have our qwirks, we are generally good, honest people that present as more analytical then emotional. Appreciate your husband, he will do what he sees as necessary for the betterment of you and your family and most likely loves you unconditionally.
Point 1: the system doesn’t take too much effort to maintain. It comes naturally. Not mentioning the system (disorganization) will take more effort, mentally & physically for us and not mention the resulting frustration. Ugh! 🙄 Point 7: Yes, we relate to emotions differently and therefore have no problem expressing them. I see emotions as having an invisible limb or something, (🤣 ) So, totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. We are true to our emotions. What you see is what IS & what we express is what IS. Point 10; Long term ideals are the lifeblood of the INTJ. Bonus point: We never lose. We never see a loss. All is a win. We fail, we learn from it and tweak our approach and we’re not ashamed of that either. It’s tefreshing to hear an INTJ wife’s perspective & experience. Thanks for sharing.
Wow! Just made the comment to myself about myself recently, 'I never lose!' It came from a real observation, as if I'm just getting to know myself 😅🤣 I'm an INTJ in my 40s, so to continuously learn more about my personality is true bliss 😄.
INTJ here. I agree, as most of the time I'm not "in reality" with most people. My mind is constantly splintered reviewing information, possibilities, and permutations. This is the key factor to divergent thinking, creativity, and coming up with solutions other's have not thought of. When I'm "in reality" I'm hyper focused to give life to my ideas.
I never knew that a lot of people lack a persistent, defined inner monologue until recently. Mine is mostly multiple threads in my own voice, but also music constantly (I am a music degree INTJ)
Retired INTJ here. All 10 characteristics fit me, except for the pacing while thinking; I sit for that or do it while walking alone. Thank you for posting, Veronica. We are very loyal; it sounds like you found a good one!
@@ThomQuinnHere Yes....I woke up planning a tree-trimming job, even pictured (dreamed?) the measuring tape in my hand and a ladder. In the shower, I'm planning the next laundry day, and the next bathroom cleaning. :)
INTJs are excellent theorists and are able to extrapolate likely, possible, and probable outcomes from diverse datasets. That is very unlike most INTJs to not make systematic predictions from known data. INTJs are capable of forecasting far out into the future with an astonishing level of accuracy.
It's a way of life. You can't pick one area of organization and point out an inefficiency. It's about consistency. He knows that organization saves him time.
As an INFJ with an ISTJ husband and INTJ son, this video resonated with me so much 🤣 And an ISTP and an INTJ debating efficiency 🤯🤣🖤 I love it. Also, know that the “reality” of a plan doesn’t really affect us. Intuitives will just figure it out, even if they screw a lot of it up first 😬😂
Lmao i understand the eating part i usually think eating as a task to be completed and hence as a human i sometimes forget to do my task because my mind is clogged overanalyzing things which is anything that comes in my mind
INTJ here - You are the first person I've seen remark about not having very many emotions. I don't know if we're all like that, but I definitely feel like I have fewer emotions than most people. The ones I have are very strong, but they are few. And I avoid situations likely to arouse them. Because I don't like them.
Retired Male INTJ - my wife totally agrees that I have the same traits, except pacing. Ex-military Submarine Service- we had a rule in my civilian office, never call me on speakerphone. Great video
You mentioned in the video that your husband paces around the dinner table, he’ll take a bite and keep pacing. I as well as my husband are both INTJ. We pace a lot when we think. My legs can hurt from how much I pace if I’m overthinking something or trying to solve a problem in my head..and it’s not so much that it helps me or my husband focus. We are so in tune with our introverted intuition that we can literally forget that food is essential until we feel our bodies shut down. To me, it sounds as if he is only taking the bites he needs to survive his thought loop he is stuck in and he’s more focused on his thoughts and not the time he needs to sit down and enjoy his meal. This actually isn’t healthy for him to do. Instead, he should step away from his brain for the moment and enjoy all the sensations that sitting down and having a meal brings. Being such big picture thinkers, we lose track of what’s in the moment -like sitting down for dinner. If you can schedule dinner at a specific time and tell him you need 20 minutes of him to sit down and eat, this will help him step out of his head for a moment, focus on something else so that once he eats and gets all the fuel he needs, he can get back to problem solving. Hope this helps!
It's interesting comparing and contrasting your husband with me. I'm not as organized as him. Generally, I want the items to have a designated place, but like you said, there is something of a sweet spot when it comes to being too organized. On the emotion part, we both probably have strong feelings, but it seems like I am much more private with mine than your husband is. I almost never cry and if I do the LAST thing I want to do is tell anyone about it. Then lastly with the heavy thinking thing. Here is a little tip about us INTJ's. Sometimes the scenarios that we're dreaming up are so crazy, it's not that we can't actually remember what we're thinking. There are just some things that would take too long to explain or we don't want to even try to explain the context of what we're thinking and why we're thinking it.
I [ISTP] have an INTJ friend. We have done similar kinds of work and we do recreational stuff together. But we're different. He thinks of me as a risk taker (both good and bad), I think he's got a lot more tolerance for tedious but rewarding activities than I have (both good and bad). He thinks my thinking is off-base sometimes. I think he doesn't think for himself sometimes. Definite Ti vs Te. I really see it. He says he didn't end up in the military after dropping out of ROTC because he's a coward. I think "cowardice" is just good sense, and didn't end up in the military due to my terrible pre-laser eyesight. They wouldn't have let me fly, etc, so nothing about the military sounded remotely fun to me. Clear tribe/self difference.
I love talking about theories, but I am not comfortable talking theories about other people because I always know there’s information and context that I’m not aware of. If I think and feel all necessary supplemental data is collected (whether or not that’s actually true), I have no problem with conjecture
Sounds like he is an assertive type of INTJ, especially the part where you spoke about him preferring to learn through experience. I used to be the same way 😂
In the end it’s all for you and the children. Just realize you are not responsible for his happiness or more on point you are not responsible for his unhappiness. You are there to offer support and to share in the journey. INTJ here.
The long walks ~1 hr thinking about my stuff is very true. I do that every night. I fill up my pages writing everything down every single thing to keep myself organized as an INTJ. Totally relatable! :D
Last year there was a period when I was so tired and sleep deprived that I started crying for an hour... for no reason whatsoever. And of course just like your husband I told everyone lol. I found it very interesting and extremely unusual. Like who knew we INTJ had uncontroled emotions
Listen I’m an INTJ and I relate to what your husband’s doing. Here’s some advice thats definitely gonna help him: 1. Get a pen and a paper and write down whats your goal and what do you wanna think about. And write what you think! Do not think without writing it! Because your mind is full of thoughts and patters and it jumps from one thought to another without specific order. So thats why its essential for you to write down everything. You would save up 10 times of your effort and energy if you write. 2. Do not plan more than you take action! We INTJs always plan. But you have to make sure that you control yourself to take action at least 50% of the time. To make sure you are not stuck in your own mind! Whatever your goal is in any day ask your self how can I make it happen today? And just do it! 3. Repeat the process all the time until you die, because if you don’t do those 3 things you will always be lost in your thoughts and just you will just be planning and think 10 years a head while in reality you don’t actually need all of this planning otherwise you would have gotten results already. always ask yourself this: am I thinking about what really matters the most? I guarantee you you don’t need 80% of your planning and thinking! So just do those 3 things: write everything all the time - take action more than you plan! - do those things all the time everyday! I guarantee you this will change your life!
Interesting. I think about writing it all down, but that would be impossible and my house would become a library too quickly. Also, how can one write while at work and hands are busy? If there were an app that I could talk to ( and no one else hear me ☻) that could record all of my thoughts as I think them, then that would be ideal. But good points, nonetheless.
Thank you so much. I have been lost planning for next 10 years. I did it subconscious and I can't control myself to stop researching about things. It's annoying but what helped me is physical activity. You're right about implementing the plans. Just implement intjs. No point in researching if you don't implement it
I can definitely relate to the last minute. I'll sum it up as: Trust your own direct experience over advice. Advice is usually cloaked as projected fear. INTJ
Being an INTJ, I sooo get the systems and organization part.....My whole life is a nested set of efficient routines....so much so I can't see ever allowing a woman(chaos) into my inner world ever again.
I as an INTJ Usually think a lot when listen to some music I know, so I'm lay on a couch or sit in a chair and watch music video. Some coworkers think that I'm lazy because of that, but no. Known music just help me overcome laud environment and think in a peace. Same as I'm trying to do something like someone call me to drink a coffee and talk in a brake, I will go there but won't stop thinking, and I end up with 4-5 cream in my coffee instead of 3. XD
Lol my wife and I laugh at most of this because I do a lot of it with some differences. The pacing thing is anytime I am thinking or talking on the phone. Good stuff, thank you for this video as I think it is important to learn about how we are wired so we can better interact in a positive and respectful way. The more people speak on the observations they have of the personality type the better we can grow. For me I started with the basics but am learning that even as INTJ's we are not all the same and there are differences. This helps me to personally understand what I am doing and how I am seen by others and explore why I react as I do. I can then explore my current methods and determine the most efficient course of action to produce the best possible outcome. Keep up the good work!
Having good looks helps. I am an INTJ and have had no trouble getting relationships. Keeping them, however... that's the challenge. You appear cold and too serious at times to be in the moment. It takes massive effort.
I really hope you make a video about the dynamic between you two because I am an istp girl with a crush on an intj guy and most people say we are not compatible, I know it depends on the personality and not the personality type but I am afraid of the Ni-Se competition because I think it's real , so I wanna know how you work things or if that competition ever appears between you .
I definitely pace around a lot when I'm thinking about something. I don't even realise I do it half the time. As for organisation of my space, yes, but not always so completely neat. At uni, I remember my room being incredibly messy but this was because putting everything away would be such a chore so what I would do is leave everything out but also organise different piles of clothing so everything was easy to find, and I'd organise the mess so whatever was necessary at that time (pages of notes and stuff) were close at hand. Though this may have been because I had a lot of issues at uni as well as very recent trauma that I won't detail which may have made me much more demotivated and messy, whereas at home - while my XSFJ mother would probably disagree - I have a system for where I put things so that they're close at hand and there when I need them and I hate it when someone moves them because it "looks nicer" because then I can't find my things and have to go around hunting for them, and then I get angry which could all have been avoided had they just been left where they were. As for being open with my emotions... hmm, yes and no. Depends on who and where. Publicly, no. It's unwise to reveal such emotions publicly because then you reveal your weaknesses and then hostile people know where to prod you. But in private, with someone I trust, yeah, and I can be very descriptive about how I feel or felt in certain situations. I'm either unaware of what I'm feeling, or painfully aware, but it all tends to be very internal. Sarcastic and joking most of the time, yeah. People cannot tell if I'm joking or not, and I tend to veil my compliments with some measure of sarcasm. Compliments are just awkward, and most of the time they're just fake and can't be trusted. I can however forget really basic things like eating and usually tend to find questions about what I want to eat annoying because it gets in the way of whatever it was I was doing. I tend to hate some real life stuff (particularly things like arranging appointments... especially over the phone. Like, if it's not pertinent and serious, I tend to go "I really should do that... naa, it can wait til later.") but I think I'm pretty good at everyday stuff like walking dogs. Oh and as a child, I think I planned out things like family and relationship ideas (at least from the understanding I had back then), and while I'm not really planning 100 years in advance... not yet at least... I do typically tend to plan a lot further ahead than where I actually am. I can't remember what else you said so I'll leave this here. xD
I'm an A-hole INTJ male and the one thing I always reference from your video is how we are very uncomfortable with conjecture. True that 100% ten gold stars for you.
I am also an INTJ and some of these statements had me laughing. Never forget that you are a process and emotions are just a part of a larger process within a process. This does not mean that his emotions towards you are less important or that any particular emotions are less substantial. When you offer him food then you are essentially stabilizing his process. He is too busy thinking intuitively and food is actually less important then solving problems. My solution as an INTJ was being born Italian. I grew up on food being an important aspect within a family. Therefore I have created my own unique personal ultimate process to cook, feed, eat, and get back to my other problem solving. I enjoy this daily process because it was my idea. Anybody married to an INTJ should encourage them to create more processes and solve more problems. The more complex the better. Ask them simple yet complex questions. Do we have a plan for WW3? If the answer is no then a process will begin. Even if they solve the equation in seconds. It will stimulate, encourage, and connect you deeper with them. They are not the easiest companions to be with. The majority of women I have dated could not handle my complex behavior nor keep an intellectual conversation. This will create boredom and they withdrawal in all aspects of the relationship. Removing you from the process. I'm not exactly sure that I am proud to be an INTJ because if can be exhausting and overwhelming at times. Doing nothing is still a process. Good luck to all of you and I hope you enjoy being analyzed by an INTJ.
With regard to "If a system takes too much to maintain it's unefficient" As an INTJ I can say it's a struggle to keep things organized when we live with other types.
As an INTJ, I detest tedious repetitive tasks. I don't talk about emotions really (except for one close person who conveniently lives in another country). I have no issues discussing the probabilities of another person's thoughts/feelings (I worked psychiatry, so reading and manipulating people was a skill to pick up). Thinking about him sharing what many would consider intimate feelings (I know nothing about him, the situation, or the people) possible theories... 1. Maybe his take on feeling is that it is natural like sweating, so no biggie 2. Because many think we are cold, heartless, robotic know it alls, maybe he is using that to disarm them, or to show some commonality 3. As an INTJ I silently experiment on myself as well as others Broadening the feelings horizon, maybe he wants to get an idea of what a possible outcome of a feelings based situation could feel like, or just harmlessly screwing with people. My favorite game when going to a store is to see if I can make people hurry or run... Open the door at the entrance of a store for someone who is 30-40 feet away. When you smile, and make it obvious that you are awaiting their entry, people's inmate wish to please people will many times cause the person to move faster, some times run to go through the door, then they thank you for it.
I do something similar to one of my managers at work or coworkers who interrupt my thought process...I ignore them, and see their reaction. They sometimes panic, as if being acknowledged is the most important thing in life. Sometimes, it can expose their insecurities unintentionally. I don't really care to use it against them, but reactions are fascinating to me sometimes.
@@joshpatrick8809 I have done that before as well...and suddenly turn around to say..."oh, were you speaking". Another is to walk up to someone in a situation where you can have the "I expect an answer" persona; ask the question giving the INTJ stare. When they finish their answer, say nothing...just continue the stare for around 3-5 seconds then squinch your eyes as though you are looking through the person into their soul. LOL they will start squirming, telling on themselves more, explaining in much greater detail...it is funny.
@@BouncermanDotCom 😆 🤣 Yess! I'll just turn around and say, 'I heard you the first time! Why do you have to keep talking? I'm not deaf!' And the INTJ death stare...people think I'm just an unpleasant person at first (I only 'ignore' those that bother or irritate me), but then once I take an interest in them, they seem to really like me...for some reason, they see me as wise...but very few actually engage my interest regarding deep conversations, so it's mostly just insignificant topics (work issues, mostly) and it bores me.
I am in INTJ and my husband is an I STJ. We are both textbook Versions of our type. Although there are some similarities between the types, your husband sounds to me to be more like an ISTJ.
to arrange socks and shirts like that is inefficient. I'm talking about socks, underwear and white t-shirts, I keep them in a clothes barrel right from the dryer and I pick the clothes out from there as time goes on. It's a pretty good ratio so I never really have to search for anything. All my socks are exactly the same so I don't have to spend time matching them up. The end result is: Always clean clothes with the smallest amount of time spent on it :D The only stuff I put in the closet or hang up is stuff that I rarely wear.
This is accurate.. I relate to all of these characteristics.. when you said that your husband paces when he is lost in thought, I do as well.. I live alone and have noticed that I will pace throughout my house while talking out loud to myself .. I also have been told that I have mastered sarcasm because it is hard to distinguish between when Im being sarcastic and sincere.. Organization is efficiency BTW! In all honesty I appreciate this video because it gives me hope that someone out there can tolerate me lol..
The sock system and bills system are an effort to reduce chaos. He has learned that if he doesn't focus on them they will produce chaos. He doesnt have a system for lunch and forgets to EAT. If he didn't systematize socks he might not have any clean ones. As for taking action, a lot of the time he can draw answers and plans out of the sky intuitively. They match the prior pattern, in broad strokes, so just use that plan. The details will require modifications, and he might not see those coming. As for the wild plans, eventually he should learn to subject his own plans to verification. "Does it work?" Is a good test. This is something that is developed with experience at implementing plans.
As a intj woman, before I sleep, I will plan on what should I eat for breakfast. And while having my breakfast, I'm doing task like checking emails, messages or schedules. I want all things to be planned. I remember, when my friends suddenly invited me for dinner, I did not go obviously bcoz it wasn't planned😂
Good video. I only found out I was an INTJ three months ago and I am starting to do some research on this. A lot of what you said in the video resonated. Some of it is subconscious or habit-driven for me. Like living by values, or finding solutions by intuition before full flsehing out the solution, are definately things I do. It just helps me understand myself a little bit better. I get stuck in these research loops and heavy thinking loops that serve no purpose. Well at least now I know what's going on!
short term planning things are less important and sort of easy to do, so if you can delegate that to someone who can handle it somewhat competently, then that is efficient.
I am the same way. I am going bananas rn because my studio is cluttered (getting ready to move). As for being in relationships, once I am with someone, that is that. I don't get too lovey dovey and that has caused issues, for sure. The BEST part though, is rejecting conjecture at every turn; I am EXTREMELY concrete when it comes to some things. I require EVIDENCE, not supposition. The bad part of this is that I have caught up one too many people in lies, because when something doesn't sit right, I go all in until the mystery is solved. I am also confrontational, once I have evidence in hand. Passive aggressive doesn't work for me at all, so when I see people being this way, I will troll to the ends of the Earth to let them know how ugly it is. LOL that said, we are a probably a difficult group for most to understand, so thank you for your video... it should help someone out there better understand the INTJ male, and how we move.... um.... differently. Thanks!
Omg the part about the closet 😂 of course having things in their place is more efficient. Putting your clothes in their place takes almost zero time. Watching ppl navigate everyday life because they have no systems is so annoying.
I am an INTJ and I recently purchased a Onewheel, and when I am off riding that thing at 15 to 20 mph with the wind on my face and the scent of nature in the air I am thinking about all kinds of things. But mostly, I am plotting something, or contemplating something.
LOL I'm super efficent as an ISTP! When half my clothes are piled on the dresser in the order of most to least dirty, I can find them. I can't imagine ever being sarcastic. BTW, what are these "emotions" you refer to?
@@maymayrays a long time ago I needed to use the laundromat. I got in the habit of conserving used clothing. 🤣 I've had a laundry room next to the kitchen for years, but habits die hard.
You say if a system takes too much effort to maintain then it's inefficient but that's subjective. My wife often thinks the same thing because she often thinks things take longer or are harder to do than they really are and I find them very easy and quick to do.
Very fascinating. My dad behaves very similarly except for his organization skills lol, but I always thought he was an INFP. I'm no expert in typing and I was wondering if maybe you could explain why you think he is an INTJ instead of another type, if you would be willing. I'm very interested in learning more about type.
(also an INTJ) An alternate title for this should be INTJ Husband: Mistakes End Up Being Made Nice video and I do identify with this a lot. I'm definitely not this extreme but I do like the whole orderliness and efficiency thing. I'm more into disaster preparedness than inheritance issues since I'm childfree but the long foresight and master prepping is still there.
Are you sure he's not an ISTJ? That super organised part at the beginning sounds much more like Si, and those rigid structures would be very unusual for an INTJ.
I am always so awkward when it comes to saying positive things about someone or giving compliments. Sometimes I will rehearse what I’m about to say at least five times before I compliment someone lmao. It’s almost like I’m self conscious that I will not come off as genuine because of my lack of expression. But then if I’m practising such in my head then it kind of ends up sounding phoney.
Nice to hear from an ISTP. I feel they are under-represented on TH-cam. I keep wondering where many, many TH-cam people who make videos on "Type" get their info. These days, "everybody-and-their-dog" rattles-on about "Functions" It's "all-functions-all-the-time." But what if i said it wasn't always that way? Consider 2 points: First: "everyone" wants to be: 1. the INTJ or INTP-- because they're smart. 2. the ENTJ-- so you can be-in-charge ...or... 3 whatever type is rarest, so they can feel "special" because they're so rare. No one ever says: Hi. I'm Linda. I'm the most common Myers-Briggs type of all. We dont really stand out. There's thousands of us. We're pretty ordinary and I couldn't be more happy about it. All that, was Point #1. Now, for point #2: Before "Dave Superpowers" came out with his functions-videos, I don't remember any other functions videos before his. Back around 2010, MIKE ADAMS and his "living my purpose" videos DID talk specifically about "Myers-Briggs" (not some "tweaked-version system) and ...do we hear anything about "functions"? Nope. And he was BEFORE "Dave Superpowers". Here's an example to back me up. th-cam.com/video/pl68h6Jvq_U/w-d-xo.html Does he ramble on about functions? No Functions. Since Dave made his functions videos, and he had far less "competition" 10 yes ago, I suspect many people who were new to myers-briggs (and didnt know better) simply saw his videos...and sure enough...NOW, 10 yrs later, we've got tons of "next generation" TH-cam viewers all harping endlessly about functions when: 1. Mike Adams didnt. 2. The book TYPE TALK didn't. 3. The book LIFE TYPES by Hirsch & Kummerow doesn't. 4. Isabel Myers Briggs's book GIFTS DIFFERING just barely mentions it very briefly, almost in passing, but makes nowhere near the emphasis on it that we see today. But today, almost no one bothers to look, or trace things back 10 years to see any then-and-now differences. On a sorta-similar note: The author David Kiersey, isn't Myers-Briggs either. Its his own system. But once again. back-in-the-day when there were less videos and less books, Kiersey called the INTJ "the MASTERMIND" in his book, and so....INTJ became really popular to be on TH-cam (who doesn't wanna be regarded as Smart?). Or a MASTERMIND. Ooooohh! Now, that has pretty-much died down, likely due to the sheer flood of more/other videos. Many people make their own syustem. Fine. So CALL it that. But don't try to palm it off as the true Myers-Briggs. Think of the last 20 TH-cam videos you watched, about "16 types". Have ANY of those contents creators read even ONE of the above 3 books I've mentioned. I seriously doubt it. But they do have research behind them and oneof them was co-authored by Isabel Myers-Briggs herself....and no one talks about any of it.
yes one time i walked back and forth in the bathroom and when i dosed back i forgot where i wase in the bathroom and i sat on the toilet and "what am i doing on the toilet"
Well definitely explains why people always asked if I'm a guy 🤣 Seem to be a Female physical male energy INTJ. As if the Alien Pegasus Unicorness wasn't enough. First time watching your videos, thanx for the insights on myself. BLESSINGS 💜💫
Him telling everyone about his emotions has less to do with him not feeling shame about having those emotions and more to do with him trying to humanize himself in the eyes of his peers. INTJ's know they are weird and if they are centered enough they will try to push themselves back to the mean.
The organisation isn't really INTJ, i mean they can be organised when they have goals but more of the ''mundane'' tasks are often forgotten about by INTJ's, because they really are an Se thing. Another is the ''backed up by hard fact'' this is again an Se thing. As an INTJ, Ni being dominant, he should love, or naturally talk about abstract concepts and theories and focus on whats possible rather than what is. They also don't like jumping into the thick of things. Are you sure your husband is an INTJ? Honestly from what i've heard your husband could be an ISTJ, or maybe even an ENTJ.
My daughter is an INTJ she was a mystery for me in her early childhood because I had never come across a child like her. As a child she was honest to the point it would be brutal sometimes, she was independent, observed her surrounding very closely like she was studying them closely and she is a deep thinker. She loved to work for hours on her projects and is really curious about how mechanical and electronic things worked and would try to take things apart and rebuild them. She isn’t comfortable around new people but is fiercely loyal to her close friends (which she is highly selective about) and certain family members. I used the word fierce because she has a lot of passion in her, almost like a worrier. She’ll be turning 13 in a few months and she’s turning out to be quite a young woman.
The love you have for her shows through. Made me smile
your story is like a reflection of me when i was younger, its almost accurately describing me in my childhood days, i hope you would support your daughter like for the resources she needs for her to learn and experiment her own craft, like i really wish that when i was at that age, like if only i have a computer, a money to buy my own tools, to buy my own electronics to learn from, if you give her resources and let her learn on her own, her future self will really thank you, because it will build her the foundation in skills she will ever need in her career, damn how i wish i have the resources i need when i was at that age
@@esnardojaredralph94👍 Thank you for your kind advice. It means a lot♥️
Protect her at all cost
Get her involved in some physical things as that tends to be a weakness of INTJs. Find a sport or expression that she is keen on and encourage/push her towards it so she isn’t always in her head. Ideally something she does solely by herself and another thing where she is part of a team. Even if it isn’t her greatest joy, it sure helps to give them more balance, functioning capabilities, for Life ahead. Discuss it with her and hopefully she will see the wisdom of the actions.
Male INTJ here, planned the world out, expected to die first, wife of 20 years diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer out of the blue during covid pandemic, docs said she would live for decades, but died 5 months later leaving me to raise our 5 year old. Incredibly hard to adapt to, but not impossible. But I guess I say this because the best laid plans of mice and men, still fail.
I’m sorry to hear that Jeff. God Bless you and your child.
I hope your doing well brother I'm truly sorry for your loss 🫂❤️
God bless you and your child
I'm sorry about your wife.
While planning out the future for your child, dont forget to be there for them at the moment
As a male INTJ, planning 100+ years out for my family goals really struck home. I live my life with the purpose of providing the best future for not my kids but my greatgreat grandchildren. Which totally makes sense to me but rarely anyone I express those feelings to.
It goes beyond 100+ years, it goes as far as "I want to be buried under a pyramid in case they dig me out"
Yes, it's called building an empire or dynasty. I think planning anything less is pretty myopic. The sad thing is you are limited in making it fool proof for when you are dead and have to leave it in the hands of others to manage.
Wow.. hahaha, im not alone of such kind of thinking about my family and the future as well as how they will grow as a better person..
So true :( but your not alone 🫂
@@MrSlm1982 Sounds like the Dunning Krueger effect to me
You have a very calm vibe. I'm sure he appreciates that
OCD is an issue for some intjs. It's a problem and those loops can be hard to get out of.
Most intjs I've met feel very deeply. They don't talk about their feelings unless they trust someone. If he shares them with you and your family, you are his trusted people.
Also perspectives are usually an intj's strong trait. Theories of what other people might feel or think, their motives, philosophy...we tend to really dig that stuff.
OCD is an issue for high introverted sensing because there is certain way things should be done. INTJ has inferior Se meaning sometimes they suck at maintaining themselves or their surroundings. Ni-Fi loops makes INTJ lazy. Si-Fi loop makes ISTJ obsessive: reliving certain experiences over and over again.
@@eliannahankin2971 what i understand is that INTJs, especially in loops, get extremely obsessive about one idea or abstract goal while ISTJs get obsessive about physical setups, both of which attribute to OCD tendencies (not saying all intjs or istjs have OCD). what it looks like in to an observer is that an INTJ isn't doing much so they come off as lazy while ISTJs are overstimulating themselves for physical systems.
Inferior Se contributes to them being afraid of either doing things or as she mentioned, doing things without looking at the sensory facts properly, even though that information may be very obvious to a "sensor".
I wonder if INTJs ever miss or think of their exes that they really connected with but had to breakup with cause of "time". The guy I met thought I was "the one" but brokeup with me because of our different political views and because he was afraid he couldn't give me the time that I needed from him.
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder as well.
Sure they do. But he broke up because of betrayal or disloyalty. How can he row the boat forward if your rowing backwards. That’s how his brain thinks.
I'm INTJ. He puts things thighty to be easier to find. Why? Because when you are putting things away you have slotted time to do so. In contrast, when you are looking for things, you need then right now, meaning you don't have time to look for them. There is a huge diference.
dead on.
that's true. however consider a basket full of socks versus neatly paired-up socks. Both are easy to find but one takes a lot more work.
Yes. I get very angry when I need something that I've left somewhere where it's easy to find and easily to hand, only to find it's been moved for "aesthetics". If I need something, I need it then and there, and having to go looking for it or hunting around for it is a waste of time. I know when I had to phone these people (bad start...), they asked me for something I didn't think I'd need so I had to go hunting through all these drawers, bags and papers looking for it and it got rather overwhelming. That sort of thing is a nightmare.
THIS is everything.
Exactly. You don’t want to spend time looking for stuff or keeping that category in your head.
I’m an ISTP, I’m pretty sure my step dad is an INTJ and I totally agree. He spends a lot of his time thinking of the future and where he wants to be in life that he’ll not really consider what is happening in the day to day moments.
Must be nice for job interviews.
When they ask, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I tilt my head like a dog that thinks he heard "park" and I'm thinking "YEARS? She said YEARS didn't she?"
@@barrydworak same I could never think about anything that far in advance
I’m an INTJ and I can see a lot of what you said here in myself. However, I will say I think I’m different when it comes to openness to other perspectives. No two INTJs are going to be exactly alike in all of their INTJ traits, of course, so this makes sense. But for me, I’m always willing to hear other perspectives and, at the least, keep those in mind when I act. I think INTJs are very logical and we can see that any sources of information should be taken into account at least initially, or else we could be missing something. Part of being efficient is trying NOT to fail the first time around at something, or failing as efficiently as possible if that makes sense. Like your husband, I welcome failure because it can be a big learning point, but if there is someone who has failed before you, I see it as “maybe it’s smartest NOT to do it the same way that they are saying they failed, at least on my first try.” I’m definitely stubborn so this can be a bit of a war within me (sometimes it’s fun to just prove people wrong), but you need to be smart about it and it all depends on all of the specific factors in the situation.
Thanks for making this video by the way - it was fun to watch! I first followed you because I’ve been working on a novel in which the main character is ISTP. I’m looking forward to whatever you post in the future :)
It's funny how you manage to answer yourself so quickly with the contradiction of being both open to new perspectives and stubborn. xD Don't get me wrong, I agree this contradiction is very true for us INTJs; the way I see it, our Se exploration of perspectives (be it by experience or, quite often, abstraction) weights out a lot of unrelated facts for our Ni to converge into, or to draw a picture of, a pattern. Much like neuroplasticity and the forming of habits playoff each other, eventually the path of least resistance carves a solid trail, and that's when we get "stubborn": "oh, well, after much consideration, it seems going away from this line of thought isn't as effective or accurate", so the need to explore is subdued. Honestly? rightly so. That's when high Se/Ne users accuse us of being "close minded"; they wanna keep trying out new ideas or ways of doing things for the sake of experimentation. Almost as if doing things differently was more valuable than getting them done. C'mon, why bother? hahaha
I can almost feel that what you wrote branches out in your mind to other rabbit holes. There's only so much we can express.
btw, let me help you with editing excerpts of the novel... for some reason I find it really satisfying.
@@JoaoJGabriel Cars are designed to move, yet I see many cars that aren't moving. Is this a contradiction, or a MODE/STAGE?
@@heedmywarning2792 A mode/stage. I see where you're getting and I entertained the thought. Different from the car, the issue of the mind, or the self, is more complex. A car can't be moving and not moving at the same time (if we consider only one reference point), whereas one could be said stubborn and open-minded at a single instance, since our sense of self encompasses more than one "agent". When we isolate the self in this type of abstraction, these coexistent agents can be contradictory. It's not only a matter of semantics, but of a deeper understanding of what one is.
Thank you for your comment. I’m an INTJ ([soon to be adult] - cause I’m 19) woman, and I’ve been questioning myself so much about it and made plenty of researches because I wasn’t really feeling like being one. The thing is, I dated an INTJ guy and we differ in many traits even tho we have some similar traits at the same time. He’s more intrigued in political type of discussion while I’m more in the philosophical type of discussions/aspects of things. He’s more interested into data fields and even tho I enjoy it, I’m more comfortable with everything related to letters and Law (reforms etc..). We both can be very outgoing but I may sometimes (at least more than him) try to have a friendly [somewhat misunderstood] approach. But, I embrace failure sometimes despite being quite perfectionist in my work which he rarely does. But your comment was very refreshing to read, because I now believe that all INTJs even if we have similar characteristics that makes us INTJs we’re still also very unique. I’m just gonna deepen my researches on that.
It might be helpful, @@val2044, to take into account what was the distinction of introverted and extraverted functions to Carl Jung: introverted is subjective, extraverted, objective. Not outgoing and shy; objective and subjective. Being an INTJ it means you have 2 (at least relatively) conscious introverted functions, out of 4, Ni and Fi: introverted intuition and feeling. The uniqueness in our values can mostly be due to our Fi. Pair that with the obsessiveness of Ni, and there's our tendency to go deep into what sparks our interest, making us specially quirky and excentric. Apart from that, Objective Personality has a system that distinguishes a type of INTJ that is different from the general archetype: the jumper, that mainly uses Ni/Fi as prefered functions, rather than the typical Ni/Te. Either way, the further we develop our Fi, or in more simple terms, the more we go along with our interests, the more we grow apart from each other. And, to be honest, I feel that's just brilliant. :)
Creating systems eliminates the need for constantly thinking about pointless things. You can maintain these systems while thinking about other things. That's what makes it more efficient
I have built systems and they do help a lot.
1. He is very organized;
2. He is very sarcastic;
3. He is often in is head;
4. He is a doer;
5. He's not much emotional;
6. He gets very bored in social situations;
7.
8.
9.
10.
Yeah I think ppl sometimes assume we’re hiding emotions when really we’re just not having them.
Male INTJ-A here. My wardrobe is similar, basically the same shirts in black/navy/grey. All hanging. Specific draws for folded pants/shorts/socks etc
I work in manufacturing, so the 5S system of a "place for everything & everything in its place" suits my functions, especially at home.
Pointless conversation can be extremely frustrating, especially if the same topic is repeated with the same person. I tend to have music on when doing tasks that would seem tedious. Cooking, cleaning, mowing, vehicle maintenance etc become enjoyable because the mind can be distracted by more complex time signatures while completing the task at hand to my standard.
If people distract me in a train of thought, clicking my fingers to a specific tune helps me return to my thoughts instead of being lost and becoming frustrated at that person.
With 3 older brothers and an ex military father, as a male child, showing emotion was forbidden. As an empath and Pisces, this is a contradiction to my internal feelings. I still struggle to show any or share it openly with anyone, which makes me socially awkward. The biggest challenge that I feel i have been successful in was to not prevent my son from being emotional and express his feelings when he has them.
We may not be too sociable, but people watching is always fascinating. Particularly large shopping centres. I learned a lot about social interaction and networking this way as a teenager. I tend to take on a persona in different social interactions that tie closely to the clothes im wearing or directly to the people attending. All of which is mentally and emotionally draining.
A mistake is only so, if you miss the opportunity to learn from it. I'm a visual/practical learner. I learn more from videos or from hands on then reading something that has a practical application, but like to have the theory as a reference if I get stuck. Usually once I'm competent to not need the theory I'll start tweaking procedures to make things more efficient.
I'm also a risk taker. Played a lot of contact sports here in Australia. Rode dirt bikes as a kid and have a street motorcycle now. Like jumping from heights into water, night surfing, going fast. Tend to see fear as a challenge to overcome rather then a reason to stop. Scars just make for funny stories of the past, and evidence of a life lived :)
Although we have our qwirks, we are generally good, honest people that present as more analytical then emotional. Appreciate your husband, he will do what he sees as necessary for the betterment of you and your family and most likely loves you unconditionally.
Point 1: the system doesn’t take too much effort to maintain. It comes naturally. Not mentioning the system (disorganization) will take more effort, mentally & physically for us and not mention the resulting frustration. Ugh! 🙄
Point 7: Yes, we relate to emotions differently and therefore have no problem expressing them. I see emotions as having an invisible limb or something, (🤣 ) So, totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. We are true to our emotions. What you see is what IS & what we express is what IS.
Point 10; Long term ideals are the lifeblood of the INTJ.
Bonus point: We never lose. We never see a loss. All is a win. We fail, we learn from it and tweak our approach and we’re not ashamed of that either.
It’s tefreshing to hear an INTJ wife’s perspective & experience. Thanks for sharing.
Wow! Just made the comment to myself about myself recently, 'I never lose!' It came from a real observation, as if I'm just getting to know myself 😅🤣
I'm an INTJ in my 40s, so to continuously learn more about my personality is true bliss 😄.
Maybe there's an inner monologue inside his head whenever you see him thinking. Thinking or going inside our head make us alive as an intj.
INTJ here. I agree, as most of the time I'm not "in reality" with most people. My mind is constantly splintered reviewing information, possibilities, and permutations. This is the key factor to divergent thinking, creativity, and coming up with solutions other's have not thought of. When I'm "in reality" I'm hyper focused to give life to my ideas.
maybe? lol.. ya obviously there is dude.
I never knew that a lot of people lack a persistent, defined inner monologue until recently. Mine is mostly multiple threads in my own voice, but also music constantly (I am a music degree INTJ)
Retired INTJ here. All 10 characteristics fit me, except for the pacing while thinking; I sit for that or do it while walking alone. Thank you for posting, Veronica. We are very loyal; it sounds like you found a good one!
I sit alone for my best thinking, or while walking alone.
Anyone think in the shower as well?
@@ThomQuinnHere Yes....I woke up planning a tree-trimming job, even pictured (dreamed?) the measuring tape in my hand and a ladder. In the shower, I'm planning the next laundry day, and the next bathroom cleaning. :)
INTJs are excellent theorists and are able to extrapolate likely, possible, and probable outcomes from diverse datasets.
That is very unlike most INTJs to not make systematic predictions from known data.
INTJs are capable of forecasting far out into the future with an astonishing level of accuracy.
It's a way of life. You can't pick one area of organization and point out an inefficiency. It's about consistency. He knows that organization saves him time.
INTJ here. I definitely do the pacing thing.
As an INFJ with an ISTJ husband and INTJ son, this video resonated with me so much 🤣 And an ISTP and an INTJ debating efficiency 🤯🤣🖤 I love it. Also, know that the “reality” of a plan doesn’t really affect us. Intuitives will just figure it out, even if they screw a lot of it up first 😬😂
Come on, give her a Like, for the algorithm's sake. 🙂
INTP: Robots acting like Humans
INTJ: Humans acting like robots
I say this as an INTP.
As an INTJ, I've always felt either like an alien, or like the only human watching an alien soap opera.
Lmao i understand the eating part i usually think eating as a task to be completed and hence as a human i sometimes forget to do my task because my mind is clogged overanalyzing things which is anything that comes in my mind
Excellent analysis! Thank you.
I am an INTJ. I relate to most things except I love theories and discussions on abstract ideas. That’s my intuitive side
But it could be die to my own value system
INTJ here - You are the first person I've seen remark about not having very many emotions. I don't know if we're all like that, but I definitely feel like I have fewer emotions than most people. The ones I have are very strong, but they are few. And I avoid situations likely to arouse them. Because I don't like them.
Retired Male INTJ - my wife totally agrees that I have the same traits, except pacing.
Ex-military Submarine Service- we had a rule in my civilian office, never call me on speakerphone.
Great video
I’m an INTJ and I’m laugh when you say INTJ walk for 1 hour thinking 😂
You mentioned in the video that your husband paces around the dinner table, he’ll take a bite and keep pacing.
I as well as my husband are both INTJ. We pace a lot when we think. My legs can hurt from how much I pace if I’m overthinking something or trying to solve a problem in my head..and it’s not so much that it helps me or my husband focus.
We are so in tune with our introverted intuition that we can literally forget that food is essential until we feel our bodies shut down.
To me, it sounds as if he is only taking the bites he needs to survive his thought loop he is stuck in and he’s more focused on his thoughts and not the time he needs to sit down and enjoy his meal.
This actually isn’t healthy for him to do.
Instead, he should step away from his brain for the moment and enjoy all the sensations that sitting down and having a meal brings. Being such big picture thinkers, we lose track of what’s in the moment -like sitting down for dinner.
If you can schedule dinner at a specific time and tell him you need 20 minutes of him to sit down and eat, this will help him step out of his head for a moment, focus on something else so that once he eats and gets all the fuel he needs, he can get back to problem solving. Hope this helps!
It's interesting comparing and contrasting your husband with me. I'm not as organized as him. Generally, I want the items to have a designated place, but like you said, there is something of a sweet spot when it comes to being too organized.
On the emotion part, we both probably have strong feelings, but it seems like I am much more private with mine than your husband is. I almost never cry and if I do the LAST thing I want to do is tell anyone about it.
Then lastly with the heavy thinking thing. Here is a little tip about us INTJ's. Sometimes the scenarios that we're dreaming up are so crazy, it's not that we can't actually remember what we're thinking. There are just some things that would take too long to explain or we don't want to even try to explain the context of what we're thinking and why we're thinking it.
INTJ forgets basic human needs but dose't forget meaninful relationships or future planings
I [ISTP] have an INTJ friend. We have done similar kinds of work and we do recreational stuff together.
But we're different.
He thinks of me as a risk taker (both good and bad), I think he's got a lot more tolerance for tedious but rewarding activities than I have (both good and bad).
He thinks my thinking is off-base sometimes. I think he doesn't think for himself sometimes. Definite Ti vs Te. I really see it.
He says he didn't end up in the military after dropping out of ROTC because he's a coward. I think "cowardice" is just good sense, and didn't end up in the military due to my terrible pre-laser eyesight. They wouldn't have let me fly, etc, so nothing about the military sounded remotely fun to me.
Clear tribe/self difference.
I love talking about theories, but I am not comfortable talking theories about other people because I always know there’s information and context that I’m not aware of. If I think and feel all necessary supplemental data is collected (whether or not that’s actually true), I have no problem with conjecture
This is probably a better way of putting it, I think that’s the issue for my husband also.
Sounds like he is an assertive type of INTJ, especially the part where you spoke about him preferring to learn through experience. I used to be the same way 😂
As a INTJ female, I absolutely love your video. I guess my husband will agree with your thought toward INTJ as well (he is INTP). 🥰
In the end it’s all for you and the children. Just realize you are not responsible for his happiness or more on point you are not responsible for his unhappiness. You are there to offer support and to share in the journey. INTJ here.
The long walks ~1 hr thinking about my stuff is very true. I do that every night. I fill up my pages writing everything down every single thing to keep myself organized as an INTJ. Totally relatable! :D
They are reallllllly annoying when it comes to argument
If you disagree with them they are going to rip you in half with their word's
Last year there was a period when I was so tired and sleep deprived that I started crying for an hour... for no reason whatsoever. And of course just like your husband I told everyone lol. I found it very interesting and extremely unusual. Like who knew we INTJ had uncontroled emotions
This has happened to me as well. Just feeling distanced from life sometimes? Comes and goes without warning...fine one day, the next...
As an intj, im not organized on my things except for my books and file saved on my computer..those things are definitely arranged in files.
Listen I’m an INTJ and I relate to what your husband’s doing. Here’s some advice thats definitely gonna help him:
1. Get a pen and a paper and write down whats your goal and what do you wanna think about. And write what you think! Do not think without writing it! Because your mind is full of thoughts and patters and it jumps from one thought to another without specific order. So thats why its essential for you to write down everything. You would save up 10 times of your effort and energy if you write.
2. Do not plan more than you take action! We INTJs always plan. But you have to make sure that you control yourself to take action at least 50% of the time. To make sure you are not stuck in your own mind! Whatever your goal is in any day ask your self how can I make it happen today? And just do it!
3. Repeat the process all the time until you die, because if you don’t do those 3 things you will always be lost in your thoughts and just you will just be planning and think 10 years a head while in reality you don’t actually need all of this planning otherwise you would have gotten results already. always ask yourself this: am I thinking about what really matters the most? I guarantee you you don’t need 80% of your planning and thinking! So just do those 3 things: write everything all the time - take action more than you plan! - do those things all the time everyday!
I guarantee you this will change your life!
Thank you. Im intj w bad Te.. and looping Ni-Fi... your advice is helpful
@@evelyn1558 hi i'm also in Ni-Fi loop and having pretty bad Te right now. this quarantine just make it worse.
Eventually you get to a point where you just start winging things.
Interesting. I think about writing it all down, but that would be impossible and my house would become a library too quickly. Also, how can one write while at work and hands are busy? If there were an app that I could talk to ( and no one else hear me ☻) that could record all of my thoughts as I think them, then that would be ideal. But good points, nonetheless.
Thank you so much. I have been lost planning for next 10 years. I did it subconscious and I can't control myself to stop researching about things. It's annoying but what helped me is physical activity. You're right about implementing the plans. Just implement intjs. No point in researching if you don't implement it
I can definitely relate to the last minute. I'll sum it up as: Trust your own direct experience over advice. Advice is usually cloaked as projected fear.
INTJ
Being an INTJ, I sooo get the systems and organization part.....My whole life is a nested set of efficient routines....so much so I can't see ever allowing a woman(chaos) into my inner world ever again.
Haha
i thought i was only INTJ who starts walking back and forth while thinking
I like doing it because increasee my focus in thinking
Oh my..... This is my INTJ to a tee. Spot on regarding his behavior and line of thinking.
I as an INTJ Usually think a lot when listen to some music I know, so I'm lay on a couch or sit in a chair and watch music video. Some coworkers think that I'm lazy because of that, but no. Known music just help me overcome laud environment and think in a peace. Same as I'm trying to do something like someone call me to drink a coffee and talk in a brake, I will go there but won't stop thinking, and I end up with 4-5 cream in my coffee instead of 3. XD
Yay, She's back! Congratulations on your new baby. I enjoyed listening to your observations about your Intj husband.
Thank you!
I am an INTJ-T and yes this is a well description of also how I am as a person. Thank you, not everyone undestands this.
I'm an INTJ and she's right, her husband is inefficient with the over-organization nonsense.
I see how neat your house is
He must be asleep because that CORD under the love couch, should not be there
Lol my wife and I laugh at most of this because I do a lot of it with some differences. The pacing thing is anytime I am thinking or talking on the phone. Good stuff, thank you for this video as I think it is important to learn about how we are wired so we can better interact in a positive and respectful way. The more people speak on the observations they have of the personality type the better we can grow. For me I started with the basics but am learning that even as INTJ's we are not all the same and there are differences. This helps me to personally understand what I am doing and how I am seen by others and explore why I react as I do. I can then explore my current methods and determine the most efficient course of action to produce the best possible outcome. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for this video. As I am an INTJ man I didn't know we can get girls and have relationships.
Having good looks helps. I am an INTJ and have had no trouble getting relationships. Keeping them, however... that's the challenge. You appear cold and too serious at times to be in the moment. It takes massive effort.
I really hope you make a video about the dynamic between you two because I am an istp girl with a crush on an intj guy and most people say we are not compatible, I know it depends on the personality and not the personality type but I am afraid of the Ni-Se competition because I think it's real , so I wanna know how you work things or if that competition ever appears between you .
I'm so happy you made a new video! Welcome back!
I definitely pace around a lot when I'm thinking about something. I don't even realise I do it half the time. As for organisation of my space, yes, but not always so completely neat. At uni, I remember my room being incredibly messy but this was because putting everything away would be such a chore so what I would do is leave everything out but also organise different piles of clothing so everything was easy to find, and I'd organise the mess so whatever was necessary at that time (pages of notes and stuff) were close at hand. Though this may have been because I had a lot of issues at uni as well as very recent trauma that I won't detail which may have made me much more demotivated and messy, whereas at home - while my XSFJ mother would probably disagree - I have a system for where I put things so that they're close at hand and there when I need them and I hate it when someone moves them because it "looks nicer" because then I can't find my things and have to go around hunting for them, and then I get angry which could all have been avoided had they just been left where they were. As for being open with my emotions... hmm, yes and no. Depends on who and where. Publicly, no. It's unwise to reveal such emotions publicly because then you reveal your weaknesses and then hostile people know where to prod you. But in private, with someone I trust, yeah, and I can be very descriptive about how I feel or felt in certain situations. I'm either unaware of what I'm feeling, or painfully aware, but it all tends to be very internal. Sarcastic and joking most of the time, yeah. People cannot tell if I'm joking or not, and I tend to veil my compliments with some measure of sarcasm. Compliments are just awkward, and most of the time they're just fake and can't be trusted. I can however forget really basic things like eating and usually tend to find questions about what I want to eat annoying because it gets in the way of whatever it was I was doing. I tend to hate some real life stuff (particularly things like arranging appointments... especially over the phone. Like, if it's not pertinent and serious, I tend to go "I really should do that... naa, it can wait til later.") but I think I'm pretty good at everyday stuff like walking dogs. Oh and as a child, I think I planned out things like family and relationship ideas (at least from the understanding I had back then), and while I'm not really planning 100 years in advance... not yet at least... I do typically tend to plan a lot further ahead than where I actually am. I can't remember what else you said so I'll leave this here. xD
I'm an A-hole INTJ male and the one thing I always reference from your video is how we are very uncomfortable with conjecture. True that 100% ten gold stars for you.
INTJ F here, good to know that I am not the only one do the walking back and forth thing when need to have deep thinkings.
Outstanding and insigjtful. Thank you for sharing what you see in us...INTJs are awesome! 🤣
I am also an INTJ and some of these statements had me laughing. Never forget that you are a process and emotions are just a part of a larger process within a process. This does not mean that his emotions towards you are less important or that any particular emotions are less substantial. When you offer him food then you are essentially stabilizing his process. He is too busy thinking intuitively and food is actually less important then solving problems. My solution as an INTJ was being born Italian. I grew up on food being an important aspect within a family. Therefore I have created my own unique personal ultimate process to cook, feed, eat, and get back to my other problem solving. I enjoy this daily process because it was my idea. Anybody married to an INTJ should encourage them to create more processes and solve more problems. The more complex the better. Ask them simple yet complex questions. Do we have a plan for WW3? If the answer is no then a process will begin. Even if they solve the equation in seconds. It will stimulate, encourage, and connect you deeper with them. They are not the easiest companions to be with. The majority of women I have dated could not handle my complex behavior nor keep an intellectual conversation. This will create boredom and they withdrawal in all aspects of the relationship. Removing you from the process. I'm not exactly sure that I am proud to be an INTJ because if can be exhausting and overwhelming at times. Doing nothing is still a process. Good luck to all of you and I hope you enjoy being analyzed by an INTJ.
It* not if
I feel like I am your husband after watching this video 😂😂😂 , like you are discribing me very accurately
With regard to
"If a system takes too much to maintain it's unefficient"
As an INTJ I can say it's a struggle to keep things organized when we live with other types.
**inefficient
For instance my gf wants to help...but she's very messy. Lol
Intj here... I've found that pacing helps me process info in a more streamlined way. Idk why it just does.
As an INTJ, I detest tedious repetitive tasks. I don't talk about emotions really (except for one close person who conveniently lives in another country). I have no issues discussing the probabilities of another person's thoughts/feelings (I worked psychiatry, so reading and manipulating people was a skill to pick up). Thinking about him sharing what many would consider intimate feelings (I know nothing about him, the situation, or the people) possible theories... 1. Maybe his take on feeling is that it is natural like sweating, so no biggie 2. Because many think we are cold, heartless, robotic know it alls, maybe he is using that to disarm them, or to show some commonality 3. As an INTJ I silently experiment on myself as well as others Broadening the feelings horizon, maybe he wants to get an idea of what a possible outcome of a feelings based situation could feel like, or just harmlessly screwing with people. My favorite game when going to a store is to see if I can make people hurry or run... Open the door at the entrance of a store for someone who is 30-40 feet away. When you smile, and make it obvious that you are awaiting their entry, people's inmate wish to please people will many times cause the person to move faster, some times run to go through the door, then they thank you for it.
I do something similar to one of my managers at work or coworkers who interrupt my thought process...I ignore them, and see their reaction. They sometimes panic, as if being acknowledged is the most important thing in life. Sometimes, it can expose their insecurities unintentionally. I don't really care to use it against them, but reactions are fascinating to me sometimes.
@@joshpatrick8809 I have done that before as well...and suddenly turn around to say..."oh, were you speaking". Another is to walk up to someone in a situation where you can have the "I expect an answer" persona; ask the question giving the INTJ stare. When they finish their answer, say nothing...just continue the stare for around 3-5 seconds then squinch your eyes as though you are looking through the person into their soul. LOL they will start squirming, telling on themselves more, explaining in much greater detail...it is funny.
@@BouncermanDotCom 😆 🤣 Yess! I'll just turn around and say, 'I heard you the first time! Why do you have to keep talking? I'm not deaf!' And the INTJ death stare...people think I'm just an unpleasant person at first (I only 'ignore' those that bother or irritate me), but then once I take an interest in them, they seem to really like me...for some reason, they see me as wise...but very few actually engage my interest regarding deep conversations, so it's mostly just insignificant topics (work issues, mostly) and it bores me.
I am in INTJ and my husband is an I STJ. We are both textbook Versions of our type. Although there are some similarities between the types, your husband sounds to me to be more like an ISTJ.
Yes, esp. the part about pacing
I'm an INFP engaged to an INTJ. It's interesting to hear a different type's observation. Thanks for this.
to arrange socks and shirts like that is inefficient. I'm talking about socks, underwear and white t-shirts, I keep them in a clothes barrel right from the dryer and I pick the clothes out from there as time goes on. It's a pretty good ratio so I never really have to search for anything. All my socks are exactly the same so I don't have to spend time matching them up. The end result is: Always clean clothes with the smallest amount of time spent on it :D The only stuff I put in the closet or hang up is stuff that I rarely wear.
This is accurate.. I relate to all of these characteristics.. when you said that your husband paces when he is lost in thought, I do as well.. I live alone and have noticed that I will pace throughout my house while talking out loud to myself .. I also have been told that I have mastered sarcasm because it is hard to distinguish between when Im being sarcastic and sincere.. Organization is efficiency BTW! In all honesty I appreciate this video because it gives me hope that someone out there can tolerate me lol..
The sock system and bills system are an effort to reduce chaos. He has learned that if he doesn't focus on them they will produce chaos. He doesnt have a system for lunch and forgets to EAT. If he didn't systematize socks he might not have any clean ones.
As for taking action, a lot of the time he can draw answers and plans out of the sky intuitively. They match the prior pattern, in broad strokes, so just use that plan. The details will require modifications, and he might not see those coming.
As for the wild plans, eventually he should learn to subject his own plans to verification. "Does it work?" Is a good test. This is something that is developed with experience at implementing plans.
As a intj woman, before I sleep, I will plan on what should I eat for breakfast. And while having my breakfast, I'm doing task like checking emails, messages or schedules. I want all things to be planned. I remember, when my friends suddenly invited me for dinner, I did not go obviously bcoz it wasn't planned😂
Accurate , i'm an INTJ and i too learn from my own mistakes.
I feel like the most intj thing ever is referring to everything in life as a system.
Omg I thought you were talking about me haha 😄 I had a good chuckle.
INTJ thinking isn't often accompanied Se actions eg pacing. We just zone out.
Good video. I only found out I was an INTJ three months ago and I am starting to do some research on this. A lot of what you said in the video resonated. Some of it is subconscious or habit-driven for me. Like living by values, or finding solutions by intuition before full flsehing out the solution, are definately things I do. It just helps me understand myself a little bit better. I get stuck in these research loops and heavy thinking loops that serve no purpose. Well at least now I know what's going on!
short term planning things are less important and sort of easy to do, so if you can delegate that to someone who can handle it somewhat competently, then that is efficient.
I relate to all of it except pacing while eating.
I am the same way. I am going bananas rn because my studio is cluttered (getting ready to move). As for being in relationships, once I am with someone, that is that. I don't get too lovey dovey and that has caused issues, for sure. The BEST part though, is rejecting conjecture at every turn; I am EXTREMELY concrete when it comes to some things. I require EVIDENCE, not supposition. The bad part of this is that I have caught up one too many people in lies, because when something doesn't sit right, I go all in until the mystery is solved. I am also confrontational, once I have evidence in hand. Passive aggressive doesn't work for me at all, so when I see people being this way, I will troll to the ends of the Earth to let them know how ugly it is. LOL that said, we are a probably a difficult group for most to understand, so thank you for your video... it should help someone out there better understand the INTJ male, and how we move.... um.... differently. Thanks!
Omg the part about the closet 😂 of course having things in their place is more efficient. Putting your clothes in their place takes almost zero time. Watching ppl navigate everyday life because they have no systems is so annoying.
I am an INTJ and I recently purchased a Onewheel, and when I am off riding that thing at 15 to 20 mph with the wind on my face and the scent of nature in the air I am thinking about all kinds of things. But mostly, I am plotting something, or contemplating something.
I'm just 10 mins in to this video and yes you are definitely speaking abt an INTJ. I can definitely relate.
We learn through experience, not theory.
LOL I'm super efficent as an ISTP! When half my clothes are piled on the dresser in the order of most to least dirty, I can find them.
I can't imagine ever being sarcastic.
BTW, what are these "emotions" you refer to?
🤣 ughhh the “organized,” “only half dirty” clothes piles 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
@@maymayrays a long time ago I needed to use the laundromat. I got in the habit of conserving used clothing. 🤣 I've had a laundry room next to the kitchen for years, but habits die hard.
You say if a system takes too much effort to maintain then it's inefficient but that's subjective. My wife often thinks the same thing because she often thinks things take longer or are harder to do than they really are and I find them very easy and quick to do.
As an INTJ I can confirm 97%.
Also married to an INTJ!
The third one is so relatable
Very fascinating. My dad behaves very similarly except for his organization skills lol, but I always thought he was an INFP. I'm no expert in typing and I was wondering if maybe you could explain why you think he is an INTJ instead of another type, if you would be willing. I'm very interested in learning more about type.
lol my this will make my partner chuckle hard
(also an INTJ) An alternate title for this should be INTJ Husband: Mistakes End Up Being Made
Nice video and I do identify with this a lot. I'm definitely not this extreme but I do like the whole orderliness and efficiency thing. I'm more into disaster preparedness than inheritance issues since I'm childfree but the long foresight and master prepping is still there.
Are you sure he's not an ISTJ? That super organised part at the beginning sounds much more like Si, and those rigid structures would be very unusual for an INTJ.
Yes, thought that too
I am always so awkward when it comes to saying positive things about someone or giving compliments. Sometimes I will rehearse what I’m about to say at least five times before I compliment someone lmao. It’s almost like I’m self conscious that I will not come off as genuine because of my lack of expression. But then if I’m practising such in my head then it kind of ends up sounding phoney.
Bruh, I sequence my shirts according to color 😭
Nice to hear from an ISTP. I feel they are under-represented on TH-cam.
I keep wondering where many, many TH-cam people who make videos on "Type" get their info. These days, "everybody-and-their-dog" rattles-on about "Functions" It's "all-functions-all-the-time." But what if i said it wasn't always that way? Consider 2 points:
First: "everyone" wants to be:
1. the INTJ or INTP-- because they're smart.
2. the ENTJ-- so you can be-in-charge ...or...
3 whatever type is rarest, so they can feel "special" because they're so rare.
No one ever says: Hi. I'm Linda. I'm the most common Myers-Briggs type of all. We dont really stand out. There's thousands of us. We're pretty ordinary and I couldn't be more happy about it.
All that, was Point #1.
Now, for point #2:
Before "Dave Superpowers" came out with his functions-videos, I don't remember any other functions videos before his. Back around 2010, MIKE ADAMS and his "living my purpose" videos DID talk specifically about "Myers-Briggs" (not some "tweaked-version system) and ...do we hear anything about "functions"? Nope. And he was BEFORE "Dave Superpowers".
Here's an example to back me up. th-cam.com/video/pl68h6Jvq_U/w-d-xo.html Does he ramble on about functions? No Functions. Since Dave made his functions videos, and he had far less "competition" 10 yes ago, I suspect many people who were new to myers-briggs (and didnt know better) simply saw his videos...and sure enough...NOW, 10 yrs later, we've got tons of "next generation" TH-cam viewers all harping endlessly about functions when:
1. Mike Adams didnt.
2. The book TYPE TALK didn't.
3. The book LIFE TYPES by Hirsch & Kummerow doesn't.
4. Isabel Myers Briggs's book GIFTS DIFFERING just barely mentions it very briefly, almost in passing, but makes nowhere near the emphasis on it that we see today.
But today, almost no one bothers to look, or trace things back 10 years to see any then-and-now differences. On a sorta-similar note:
The author David Kiersey, isn't Myers-Briggs either. Its his own system. But once again. back-in-the-day when there were less videos and less books, Kiersey called the INTJ "the MASTERMIND" in his book, and so....INTJ became really popular to be on TH-cam (who doesn't wanna be regarded as Smart?). Or a MASTERMIND. Ooooohh! Now, that has pretty-much died down, likely due to the sheer flood of more/other videos. Many people make their own syustem. Fine. So CALL it that. But don't try to palm it off as the true Myers-Briggs.
Think of the last 20 TH-cam videos you watched, about "16 types". Have ANY of those contents creators read even ONE of the above 3 books I've mentioned. I seriously doubt it. But they do have research behind them and oneof them was co-authored by Isabel Myers-Briggs herself....and no one talks about any of it.
yes one time i walked back and forth in the bathroom and when i dosed back i forgot where i wase in the bathroom and i sat on the toilet and "what am i doing on the toilet"
Well definitely explains why people always asked if I'm a guy 🤣 Seem to be a Female physical male energy INTJ. As if the Alien Pegasus Unicorness wasn't enough.
First time watching your videos, thanx for the insights on myself. BLESSINGS 💜💫
Im an INTJ; all my socks are the same so I don't have to look for a pair.
He is also very good at choosing his wife!
Him telling everyone about his emotions has less to do with him not feeling shame about having those emotions and more to do with him trying to humanize himself in the eyes of his peers. INTJ's know they are weird and if they are centered enough they will try to push themselves back to the mean.
Exactly
1. Method of organization is priority due to weakness in distractions.
If I tear up about something, DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO IT.
The organisation isn't really INTJ, i mean they can be organised when they have goals but more of the ''mundane'' tasks are often forgotten about by INTJ's, because they really are an Se thing. Another is the ''backed up by hard fact'' this is again an Se thing. As an INTJ, Ni being dominant, he should love, or naturally talk about abstract concepts and theories and focus on whats possible rather than what is. They also don't like jumping into the thick of things.
Are you sure your husband is an INTJ? Honestly from what i've heard your husband could be an ISTJ, or maybe even an ENTJ.