INTJ IQ normally: 130 INTJ IQ when flirting: 10 I'm an INTJ and it was funny to watch this video. It is very true, that my idea of flirting is just talking to you.
You have to pay attention to others, bring a notebook, write down details, and imitate after you get home, build the systematic way of learning of flirting.
@@JoshuaCastillo6309 Absolutely. Figured out how to flirt effectively back in high school and I was downright dangerous. If you can make her laugh, even if it's "at" you, you're on the board! Even if she's not into it she's probably not going to be upset with you pulling the same stunt on her friends at a later date. 😂 If you can't make her laugh? You better be able to laugh it off and avoid her for however long it takes. 😅
INTJ here. I don’t flirt or see any reason to flirt. But I have been told I have flirted, and I didn’t realize it. So. it doesn’t matter how much I analyze flirting. It never makes any sense to me.
I think it's because the closer we get to the opposite sex, at least for guys, our voices get deeper, and we don't even realize we're doing it. It also doesn't matter if the girl is ugly or not, we just do it instinctively. Now we don't get flamboyant flirty as you see with Hollywood types, it's just that we actually change our voice patterns, and I presume it sticks out maybe because other guys don't do that as much and keep their same voice instead. I mean truly, I can tell you there's tons of girls whom I would had been better off with not doing that, but though everything else just screams you're not flirting, that voice says something else. I don't think any girl ever told me I was being flirty, but then I did catch myself a few times doing that, and then I started noticing I do that all the time with all girls that might be in my same age bracket (possible dates IOW). I have no intention of dating most of them, or think I have a chance they would say yes, but I do that anyway. I think, as well, this tends to happen a lot more around shorter girls (I've always had more interest in shorter girls as well), because there's more of an emphasis to talk through your throat when the girl is several inches below you. I haven't ever talked to a girl taller than me, so I don't know if I squeak in such a case😃.
How to tell an INTJs like you (from personal experience, anyways): - they tell you how they actually feel - they give more than a damn to not hurt your feelings and try to not disturb your world views, except for when they think you might hurt yourself - they want to be with you. A LOT.
My INTJ friend specially does the second. He's really blunt and straight forward, but since I'm an INFP, he is very careful with his words and whenever he isn't busy with his large list of interests, he spends plenty of time talking to me, bringing those topics to our convo and explains stuff to me with a great deal of patience. INTJs are unique and really interesting individuals who can make you feel as special as they are for you.
Indeed, my actions have often been misinterpreted as romantic interest by others. I don’t want to sleep with you, I just think you are a neat person to converse with.
I NEVER seek anyone out. But if someone who I like initiates a conversation with me, I’ve noticed it’s hard to keep myself from smiling. Which gives it away because I always have a serious look on my face.
How to know if an INTJ likes you? Just ask. I’m an INTJ and don’t flirt. This is what happens when I’m interested in someone: I notice my interest, study the target, analyze strategies to attain target, figure out if said target is worth the effort to attract, THEN if the answer is “yes”, I implement my plan. I’m 100% okay being single, so I don’t act in most cases. I’m currently in a LDR and find it works very well for me and my INFP boyfriend. I miss him but at same time I’m not plotting his demise due to sensory overload. We met via dating app so flirting wasn’t really necessary to indicate my end-goal. Please just ask. We’re not shy. We’re introverts 😜 There’s no need to guess ( it’s inefficient at best).
"Study the target. Figure out if target is worth the effort" - Worth the effort, in other words, is the target as interesting as my thoughts, determine patterns in behaviour and trends (any contradictions no go), determine if target future goal will align with mine or hinder, will the target expect me to adapt to average trends in socializing and behaviour or adopt different views, is the target worth my time and energy, will target be too needy..., does target have goals or aspirations of their own at least, determine moral values of target, can target be respected and trustworthy, is target respecting me...
Another adorable thing about INTJs is how they respond to flirting. My INTJ was telling me he has a welding machine, and when I told him I thought it was sexy, he nearly knocked over the bottle of wine in the kitchen. It endeared him to me forever ❤😅
No, it's ok, we are the worst. It's true. The stalking thing is part and parcel to our nature. We are hunters. As far as the 'neg'ing' goes, we're very guarded, because the reality is that our hearts are ridiculously fragile, so we protect them, and if we're not sure about whether you'll break those often already pathetically battered things, we'll push you away. If we're not sure you're really interested, we'll also push you away a bit to see if you're willing to do something that makes your intentions obvious. We just not very good at reading subtleties when it comes to romance. As far as equalization goes, we're sigmas, so we're not above or beneath, nor do we consider others above or beneath us. Another thing I didn't see you mention is gifts. If an INTJ likes you, they will very likely give you a gift, that is very practical in nature related to an interest you hold, so much so as to seem totally unromantic to most other types, but it will be something we've put our hearts and minds into, because we want to improve your life in a real and tangible way (or so we think). Thanks for trying to help us be a little less mysterious and unreachable to other types. We really do need all the help we can get, if if most of us don't know or admit it.
@@ckat4824 I thought it was common place that INTJ's has frail hearts. If they let someone in into their heart that means you are really fucking special and that heart is gift. If an INTJ gives you their heart you take real great care of it. if it shatters, it's like a crystal glass and takes a great amount time to find all the pieces again :)
"I'm talking to you so obviously I like you." HAHAHAHA .. So true. an INTJ Actually you nailed all of these. I'm impressed. Great video. Quite entertaining to hear how our flirting styles sound when said outloud. HAHAHAHA... (I am not so sure about the negging strategy, but then again, I'm not a dick, so....)
I have an ISTJ boyfriend and after the first two weeks we were chatting in DMs he finally asked if I was interested in him beyond friendship and my response was "We've been having 6 hour conversations. I wouldn't be talking to you if I wasn't interested.". I analyze that and wish I had said something more romantic and positive lol.
If you're an INTJ, and want to flirt with an INTP, just randomly start talking about string theory for no reason whatsoever. This will naturally lure the INTP, as they finally are capable of doing something without being called weird or a jerk. (This information is from an INTP)
Intj here and i will tell you that I absolutely adore the string theory its very fascinating to have a theory of everything . Before genesis, like its so completely unfathomable but at the same time extremely intriguing to think one day we can have that level of knowledge; and I could talk about it for hours.
I agree as an INTJ if I like someone and likewise, I would ask a very private question as in about his family (which can make some people uncomfortable). I also would ask about music alot. If someone try to match their music interest with me and I am able to notice that, I know that the person likes me too. The most important thing is, if INTJ tell you about their personal or childhood stuff that means that they trust you, and they are actually ready to be in a relationship with you.
@@ENFPerspectives Maybe. My intj guy told me personal and childhood stuff that he went through and i felt like it took him that long for him to tell me that. does that mean he wants to be in a relatiosnhip with me? idk i hope so.
Well, what people call flirting ... with INTJ it boils down to: -Testing person with "alternative reality" humor. -Searching for caregiver qualities in that person. ...then If we will Really want Him/Her, them Ni just gonna will it into existence.
Some extra information: #2 Yes and no. I do tend to be respectfully polite, even with people I don't like, unless I have a good reason not to. Meaning I have no qualms talking to anyone in social situations. It's more that I don't want to spend energy on socializing if it's not for a specific purpose. I.e I visit others to watch a movie, and to socialize through watching the movie, because it's something I like. Or I visit for a cup of coffee to have a chat for 1-2 hours. I, however, don't like to visit others under the pretext of watching a movie or to drink a cup of coffee just to idle around on the couch. That's not what I signed up for. Meaning I don't visit others under the pretext of doing something (X), just to be doing something (Y) else. And that's why I also don't socialize just for the sake of socializing. It's too draining for me. I need that external catalyst as a reason to socialize, which may make it seem like I don't actively go out to talk to others. But if someone reaches out to me, I will talk to them politely. I will not just ignore them, as that's very rude. #3 Yes, it's called information gathering. Though it's not for the sake of simply stalking that person to see what they are up to at all times, more to see whether or not I can get any clues to their personality or interests. That either adds to or takes from the compatibility value. If I find something I really dislike, then that's an immediate drop. Whether or not I have made any active efforts to pursue that person before is going to immediately cease as per a door slam. Though the other person would most likely not be aware of it, because I never showed them any signs of being romantically interested in them to begin with, and as per #2 I will continue to be polite with them as I always have been. Though I would never bring any of this information up with said person. I'm very good at separating information I should NOT know from information that it's perfectly fine to know. Meaning this is just my own personal database. #5 Yes and no. I consider it to be a form of unwanted abuse to intentionally be rude to others, especially so to someone you like. Though I can make teasing jokes as per #4, which may sound rude at first glance, but the person I'm saying these things to should know by now I'm only jesting. One such example that I can think of on the top of my head (without having said it to anyone) would be to say to someone of middle eastern origin whether or not I dare to enter their car, or if it's going the explode the moment I open the door. Also; if I do like someone, I don't want to be perceived as unintelligent or something similar to that. I'm always going to be in doubt how they perceive me, and I'm going to me more focused on that than I usually am. That may make me unconsciously come across as more arrogant to others as a form of compensation for something, but it's not something I'm aware of or which I am intentionally doing. #6 Yes, calling it a date makes the INTJ vulnerable, as they could be romantically rejected. Going out to hang out with you on the other hand, allows them to spend time with you under the pretext of friendship, without being vulnerable in return.
Excellent points as a fellow iNTJ. Quite frankly, if more people were in touch with who they are and who the person they're attempting to woo is, then perhaps dating would become a much more efficient process? Of course, then there wouldn't be as much of that exciting spontaneity, but pick your poison.
Yeah on #3 it’s like you’re putting together a legal defense for a trial, at the end of which you argue internally about whether the case should proceed
As an INTJ, I study the people I'm interested in but not by 'stalking' them (social media, habits,...). I'll try to get to know that person more on a deeper level until I understand or see things about that person that they might not know about themselves. It's just fun to do and it can be an obsession for me but it's also helpful for giving advice to that person. The other way I flirt is just verbally challenging/teasing them (with sarcasm, inside jokes or references to previous interactions)
The closest thing I know to do to attempt to flirt is to engage in personal conversation about whatever the girl wants to talk about, even if its not something I'm into. I figure out what she's into and see if there's anything I can relate to. The person I'm in love with is the only one whom I can engage in small talk with and actually enjoy it. I also let this person into my personal interests in ways that I don't with other people. I show them my literary works in progress, for example, even ones that I'm struggling to finish. I rarely intentioally let others see stuff I've done until I'm satisfied with the results. I also usually prefer to play videogames alone, so if I invite you to play them with me, I'm interested in you.
At least according to a test, I am an INTJ. And yes, my flirting skills can be described as something between sweet, awkward and funny. Well, could be worse. But honestly, I really hate all these strange expectations about who should make the first move and how the whole thing should progress. And playing hard to get is just plain infuriating. I prefer to just put all cards on the table and just be honest with each other. Say what you want to do, ask for consent and boundaries and everything is fine. Examples: "Would you mind if I put my arm around your shoulder?" "I would like to try if kissing you feels right." "Would you like it if I touched you there?" And no, this is not awkward. This is avoiding accidental sexual harassment. Also, f*ck gender roles in dating! I am really greatful whenever a woman shows some initiative. It takes a lot of pressure away and you can see that the interest is mutual. I hate dating overly hesitant people who never tell you what they are thinking or what they actually want. That always feels like I am pressuring someone into doing what I want.
I have a persona I use in customer service to keep people at a distance. My extrovert persona. Ironically, it’s charismatic and flirtatious. When I actually want to flirt with someone I’m interested in, I’m useless
As an INFJ Im not scared of the INTJ death stare l find it amusing well, it can be intimidating at times but this kind of intimidation where just want to please them and do things the way they want them to be done 🤭
I'm in an lesbian INTJ-INTP relationship of 7 years and I think we've got one of the greatest dynamics going. Dark humor, debates over topics we aren't actually sincerely invested in, generally just exploring one another's opinions and worldviews. We either agree or respect one another on most everything, because we're both very capable of both listening and explaining ourselves. We're very similar, but different enough to always keep one another on our toes. There will always be more topics to dissect and it never gets old. It's hard to imagine how other couples function at all.
I'm a lesbian too. You're lucky to have found another NT type to be with. I was with another intj at one point but it didn't work out. It was fun while it lasted. Now I'm just trying to maneuver throw the sea of feelers that is the lesbian community and find another NT. Anyway best of luck to u and your lady love
I'm an intp lesbian that has a crush on an also lesbian intj! I'm here to see if I can notice anything strange about her behavior since I'm trying to cling onto the hope that she likes me back. What I've noticed in her recent behavior is that she's been engaging in physical touch fairly often and that she's been spending a lot of time with me 1 on 1. Alot of flirty remarks and jokes have been exchanged between us two but it might be different since we're girls. But then again, we're lesbians.
@@raexjl3008 As a lesbian INTJ, I do not do those things if I don't have feelings and I never have. Will I notice you flirting on the other hand? That's another question. 😂😅
INTJ here. If I really like you, I will abandon my plan (and my 13 backup plans) to make you comfortable if you spontaneously change plans. I won't do this in any case if I don't like you and rather find excuses to stick to my plan. I will act like it's no biggie to abandon my plans even though I hate it.
"I have been on perhaps dates, with INTJs that I'm not even sure if that's what it was after the fact..." Yes, you were dating (from their perspective). They wouldn't put that time and energy into you otherwise. If they have no interest in you, it will be obvious.
ENFP here dating a INTJ and this just.. makes so much sense lol 😂 He's hard to read if he fell for me or not when we first confessed to each other. I had no idea ny friend/the person i crushed on also had feelings for me. In my opinion, INTJ are just adorable (:
Hiya! Another fellow ENFP (18f) here, hi ^^ How did you end up confessing to each other if you don't mind sharing? And did you know that you were both physically attracted to each other when you hit it off as "friends?" I've fallen baddddd for this INTJ (24m) and although we've only known each other for a month through mutual friends, I feel so comfortable around him and hopefully the same the other way round. He always asks if I'm free on the weekend to do something with him (city tour, photoshoot, cafe, anything stimulating), and although it's freezinggg we can walk, talk and laugh for hours and hours ;_; i feel like our chemistry is on point and I'm sure you feel this in your relationship too, but our witty humour just goes back and forth so effortlessly and it feels so satisfying :,D having a lot of common interests helps with conversations too (and yes he does the classic INTJ interview style talks) I also feel that he acts much sweeter around me (or feels more comfortable doing so) when the rest of the friend group is gone. When we were waiting outside a restaurant and it was superrrrr cold he offered me a hug (I couldn't tell if he was joking or not so I stupidly made a joke about penguins and brushed it aside :,) He then was like "can I see how cold you are?" And I saw him trying to touch my hand the tiniest cutest bit istg ;_; I'm so sad I'm sorry. When we were doing a photoshoot with his nice camera in the city, I asked him "do I look okay?" and he was like "you always look good m/n" ;_; The last last time I saw him he walked ne to the train station because its dangerous at night, and we were meant to part ways because he had a hangout with his other friend group I don't know yet. He gave me a proper hug and we waved far apart at the barriers and I was waiting for my train home in 4mins. And thennnn I hear this GUY calling my name from the other side of the train track, saying that he didn't feel like hanging with them anymore and he wanted to talk for 4mins before my comes. He told me good luck for my modelling show tommorow and to not get cold, and asked if I wanted to go to the museum with him next week :,) and then we waved excessively at each other when I got on the train. I can't wait to see againnn! :D There are so many other silly details I could gush over but I just felt like getting it off my chest :,)
@@sarahtowlearts If he is an INTJ, you simply kiss him(if you really like him), that breaks alot of the barriers that an INTJ can have emotionally. just know that his heart very frail and if you break it it will take alot of time for it to heal. INTJ knows jack shit when a person is into them or not, you need to be blunt with it. if he is an INTJ, it will not come of wierd, it's making things official :) the worst thing you can do is saying something like: "we should se other people" if it ends up not working. if you breaking up, the guy is gonna be emotionally thorn up, and those words will make things so much worse. Oh, and if he shows genuine interest in you(which it seems like he does) he is probably already really invested in you and only you. But this was 2 months ago, hope it worked out for you two!
Tdlr; basically give people a chance before shooting them down. It may be true that we generally speaking wont bother with getting to know a person if they seem boring or annoying but I have learned over time to suspend judgement as the first impression of a person may be a bit skewed. Talking a bit more to the person can reveal or at best teach you something you don't know.
Agreed. Used dating apps and this very attractive girl reached out to me, and I told her we would not be compatible. She was highly insulted because I took the information from her bio and made the assumption she was too sociable for me (always wanting to go out). I should have at least entertained it instead of judging right away
That's not contradictory. If I am being mean to you then that's my most serious attention. I am trying to have fun with you. People don't get it. They get stuck in their personal ego and taking things personally. When an INTJ gives shit to you you give shit back to him. That's our love Language.
As an INFP, it takes quite a while for us to know that type of language especially since we are so sensitive and very polite and nice to the point we don't give shit.
Haha, this is on point, 😂😅. When I fancy someone, I dissociate and avoid the person entirely. I view crushes as a frivolous distraction, holding my attention hostage from more pressing matters. I often get reprimanded by my more emotionally adept colleagues that, “It is ok to feel things.” It is not the same for every INTJ, so don’t take my word as gospel if you fancy a INTJ yourself, lmao.
Emotional inadequacy is a flaw that I’m attempting to work on. Please don’t take my word as discouragement to woo someone that shares my personality. I bet that person feels the same and may not be as brash about demonstrating it, 😉😎👍.
5:48 its only because they very-very like you, but in the other hand they are very limited in social actions.They try to take you down to a level what they can handle...No bad/evil in the background.They do this only if they are in panic,and dont know what to do at all,when is no precedent in the introvert library for the case.When this happens,and will cause some noticed awkwardness,they will be more silent as usally in the remaining time,cus they die inside atm.
This is almost spooky in its accuracy! The part about normalizing by bringing up/down people, especially. I recently got back in touch with someone I dated 20 years ago that I broke up with because she couldn't take a compliment. The imbalance was so impossible that I countered the initial compliments with insults just to balance it out and try saving face before breaking up. I've been trying to explain how this worked in my wierd INTJ brain and this video might be the key to her understanding me. THANK YOU
Everything is on point except for negging. I never want anyone to feel bad unless it is someone I truly hate. I'm usually direct, that I'll ask a woman to a coffee as soon as I find that there's a good possible future for the two of us together. This is to immediately end all my daydreams with that person early if the feelings are not mutual. Thus, I can immediately move on to things that matter more to me.
That's so true😂 When you said about ,,searching Google" etc., I was smailing for a quite long time. But this is what I done, when I was interested in relationship. Sorry for my English if I made a mistake. I am still learning.
Female INTJ here. I can concur with your list. Especially, conversation and Googling to the point of no stone left unturned. I will advice to other INTJs, you can accidentally find out TOO much, e.g.: traumatic loss in someone's background - that in my case, makes his backstory more intriguing and yet I wish I didn't know out of his own privacy.
As an intj man I can tell you that ignoring people is useful, it avoids the awkwardness of making the first move and the others have to initiate, when someone starts the conversation, as a listener it is easier to follow what is happening than the one who is speaking
100% giving someone patience. I will even let them finish retelling a story I've already heard. "Stalkerish" sounds harsh, but we do research you. At the core, this is an innocent action because we want to learn who you are at your core. Spot on video. Too funny.
I'm a INTJ. I can be obsessed with a particular woman, I will actually be a bit low key about it. Truth is I like to be in control. My experience is love relationships no matter how good it is. Seems to take me out of my zone. My secret layer, if you will.
I am an INTP and I was married to an INTJ. Don’t do it. They’ll just get frustrated with you eventually because they 1) think everyone else is an idiot, 2) have no chill and 3) feel the need to be constantly busy/productive but will 4) reject any idea/activity they did not come up with themselves. If you are an INTP, an INTJ will just view you as lazy no matter what you do.
I like to tease my potential crush, so #5 makes sense to me, except it's not made to harm, It's more "bro talk" but with girls. It must be intended to test for wits and humor compatibility. By the way, you're the sweetest ESTP I ever saw, I didn't know you guys could be this cute (and shy?) and accurate about INTJs. You won yourself a new sub ;-)
I will pay more attention to people I like. Study them which makes me more comfortable on how to approach them. However.. studying someone for years defeats the purpose. Once I decide to engage.. if they don't follow the plan I have thought about. I will withdraw. I am trying to prove a point. As I am sitting back watching their reactions and judging them based on that. Constant loop.
I had interaction with one INTJ as far as I know, and I was all over ,smiling, asking a bunch of questions, draging him to places across the city..😂 but he was listening to me and staring at me intensely when I talked, I didn't know is he judging me or enjoying xd He was very weird but very cute! I am an ENFP
That's a good match if you are both healthy, in a psychological sense. The FP is such a balance, the insights can be poetic. The TJ balances out the over thinking, the self judgement. As you two learn to trust each other it can be quiet romantic.
Female INTJ here. In college I had a close ENFP female friend and she was fascinated by me and vice versa. She liked how aloof, calm, collected I was and I liked her giddy energy. She said she was afraid of me sometimes though, because I might be judging her, but I told her it's just that I observed people and if I didn't say anything she shouldn't be worried.
The first one is very true in my case, I'll give you a example I was reading a book and this complete strangers walks up to become my friend, my first response is "what disrespectful idiot walks up to someone in the middle of a chapter and expects to have a good conversation" vs when my friend did the same thing "hold up, let me get to a stopping point real quick" (why does that sound so stereotypical...)
I think a little clarification is needed here. We do not initiate conversation with those we don't like, but if they speak to us we will be civil and answer, however short, we will speak with them. Just don't expect us to talk to you if you voluntarily. I hope you agree with me, TypeMatch. Cheers!
I just tell them how I feel. "I like looking at you." Sometimes it's more romantic when I point out something deep I like with them. My ex used to say I can speak straight into her heart - both in a good and a bad way.
Came here out of curiosity after "discovering" I am apparently an INTJ and it all makes so much sense (logically... of course). The way you've described them in this video is like you know me a bit already.. kinda scary but cool at the same time!! In a good way.
INTJ's are always into bringing everything up to the next level. That's why it's so much fun to watch them with babies. They will spend hours finding perfectly fitted educational toys for kids, and then spend more hours teaching the kid how to play with them. My granddaughter could climb on top of the refrigerator and steal cookies at age two. At age three she started reading and had complex computer skills. She's still killing it in school today. My only regret about our time spent together is that she studies alone and needs a lot of alone time just like me. INTJ's might not make it far on the social ladder, but we are committed to making it perfect.
Agreed. Firstborn learned, aged about 6, how to make a wooden block pyramid that stood on the point, not on the wide base. The child doctor asked him to make a pyramid as part of his development assessment, so he made it on the point as usual, and was marked down! Stupid woman - I bet she couldn't do it!
OMG so on point, as an INFJ that (may be dating...??) an INTJ.... I am not sure. When we are together, I am pretty sure its a date (opening doors, paying for everything, making future plans or just talking going deep for HOURS...) when we are not together... crickets...... sigh
For me, the planning stage to see if I actually like someone and the amount of talking to know the person leaves the other person disinterested after awhile. I know in jr high when ever i had a crush, conversation with friends would go like this. Me: I like this person Friend: ask them out Me: but i dont know them Friend: thats how you get to know them. Me: too risky
Over time I have learned to flirt, but still wouldn’t be the norm. Definitely have learned to tell if she likes or is interested in me (to a point). Yes, not subtle, but direct. Can’t say I’ve googled anyone, but check out their profiles, definitely. Rarely if ever, ask anyone out unless I know they are interested. Small talk is pointless to me, so by in large you are correct, but also know that I’m also not a classic INTJ. We will not give anyone our time unless we are interested. Wish more people were aware of their personality type, but only a small percentage are.
So I just learned about demisexuals and it made me wonder if intj's are more likely to be demisexual. This means that you do not become sexually attracted to a person until you get to know them first. As an intj I am attracted to a person's mind, character, and level of self awareness.. I do not get attracted to someone just because they are physically attractive or successful, etc... I need to know them first and determine if they interest me / meet my standards before I can bexome attracted.
That might be more true for female intjs. As a intj guy I can be attracted only by looks, but then I can't be physical with a girl if I didn't get to know her deeply.
As a INTJ, I do feel attracted to girls physically but even if I fall in love, if you have some red flags I notice, I will crash that feeling to the ground to avoid a toxic relationship 😅
So...I try to be aware of opportunities to flirt because my research shows it's supposed to be highly effective. Either my research is wrong, or I'm doing it wrong, or it's the wrong person every time. On the point about "negging"... My Fi got offended for a second, then I was like.... no yea I totally do that. But... I think on a subconscious level it is because I'm trying to find something to compliment, that I genuinely like, that she / society might view as a flaw. So on the receiving end it might come off poorly because I'm pointing out a flaw, but at least personally it's out of a desire to be original and genuine. Honestly though.... flirting is super hard, and if I'm talking to you of my own volition that's high praise.
I'm one of those rare INTJ... INTJ with high EQ Meaning I understand, read, and predict people's emotion almost perfectly How? Because I'm interested in it. When INTJ are interested in anything, they seek to become masters of it; the best at it And because of that, I flirt pretty damn well... Nowadays, I try harder to keep girls (who has the potential of liking me) from liking me. Confidence truly is the main attraction for females. .... I admit I've never met an INTJ female before I only wish I have or will eventually because I really really really want to see how it feels to talk to a female in sync with my frequency
Pretty interesting take. I think it was pretty accurate throughout though I will note that I haven't experienced a lot of nice people flirting through being mean like neging (I think that's how it's spelled). Neging is a tactic used by pick up artists to lower the confidence of their intended target. It's employed by people too insecure in comparison to the person they're trying to date to think they can get a date with that person on their own merits so person A has to bring that person B down in order to make sure A and B seem to be on equal footing and to make sure that person B is less confident in their chances of finding a date, so B goes for A as A already seems to devote attention to them. I'm sure you've noticed that it's a hurtful tactic to employ, it's mostly used by men as people seem to think in a general sense that men are the ones that approach women and women are the ones that have to choose whether or not to date the men and if a woman is more confident she won't just take up any man that approaches her simply because he gives her attention. It can also be a tactic employed by women, as anyone whatever their gender can be a manipulative person and can be susceptible to being manipulated (I haven't mentioned same sex relationships because this doesn't seem to be as much of an issue in them but it's a tactic that can be employed by anyone regardless of sexual orientation). In any case, I don't think INTJs or really any type is immoral in their dating just by nature of being a certain type though I do think some types are more likely to misunderstand dating and develop unhealthy habits when it comes to getting dates or the way they treat their partners. Though I can see any type having various unhealthy attitudes towards dating that are influenced by their type. I think it depends not just on type but environment as well. Personally, as an INTJ I would never neg anyone as I just feel it's mean and a manipulative way to get someone to date you or hook up with you. But on a lighter note, I also noticed that you didn't talk as much about how direct INTJs can be when it comes to dating and asking people out. Like for me, the one thing that holds me back from asking people I find potential in as romantic partners is not knowing if they like me in a romantic way or not and being afraid of misinterpreting things. If I knew they did I'm very immediate in getting to the point, asking if they're single and then not beating around the bush by simply saying I really like you I think you're interesting and I'd love to go on a date with you and so on. When I like someone I generally try to find them and talk to them even if I don't have much to say, I try to avoid bringing up small talk unless I have to but with people I like romantically it's not that hard to get through and I sometimes bring it up simply because I want to talk more to the person and it's a way to gain more info which I can analyze about that person I like. Anyway pretty good video and well-laid out points. Good job, ❤️
I have this woman whom I have a crush on, and I think she might be interested back. We haven't talked much because I tend to get really nervous around her, but I am trying to initiate conversations with her. Anyway, I'm an INFJ and I have been really smitten by this girl. I was curious to know what her personality type was, but I wasn't being very direct with her, so I asked what degree she was studying for, and she responded with Architect. So, I googled which MBTI's are most likely to into Architect and INTJ came out. I'll admit she does seem to match INTJ because she strikes me as a very quiet person, someone could perceive that as being cold. She makes fun of me in a respectful way, which at first kind of confused me. She seems to be a very analytical individual. I noticed she doesn't talk too much to other people nearly as much as she does with me. Is it possible---if she's an INTJ---she's interested in me? If so, how can I go about to ask her for her phone number or to hangout. Should I be direct? or continue to talk to her? I'm just not sure how to approach this because I haven't dated in a very long time, and I don't want to come off as rude or make her uncomfortable. I just want to get to know her. Thank you for any tips! I truly appreciate it.
It's actually quite difficult to be rude to an INTJ. They are direct and to the point, and enjoy friendly insult and banter. They don't really do romance for romance' sake, but if she enjoys doing something, and she likes you, she will enjoy doing that thing with you. So to ask an INTJ out, you think of something you might like to do together and you go straight up to her and ask her if she would like to do that thing. And listen to the answer. INTJs don't do excuses or polite brush-offs either; if she refuses a date and gives a reason, 99 times out of 100 the reason she gives will be the actual, literal reason why she isn't going to go on the date. Don't expect demonstrative enthusiasm either. I recently reconnected with a very old INTJ friend I hadn't seen for a long time. She invited me to visit in the summer; so come the summer I called her up: "I promised you a visit." "Oh, did you? I suppose you'd better come down then." To listen to her you'd think it was a revolting but necessary chore she'd agreed to. But when I got there she'd pulled out all the stops and planned everything meticulously to show me around and make sure I had the best possible stay. If your INTJ likes you, she will aim to make you happy by practical means, not by words and gestures. I rarely get terms of endearment, but I get a lot of gardening advice. And they can be weirdly sentimental, especially where it comes to anything with the personal touch. I tried to buy her a "thank you for having me" present but she wouldn't have it; so I sent her a card, with a slightly soppy message in it. I didn't hear anything about it so I assumed she hadn't appreciated it. The next time I visited, months later, I saw the same card still on display on the kitchen windowsill. Buying her a present from a shop probably won't cut the mustard; but I took my friend a dozen bottles of home-brewed beer last time I visited and that went down a storm. (Even if a large part of that came from the amusement value when one of them exploded!)
I relate to the 'perhaps we were dating' thing. INTJs please don't assume they know. They might be too afraid to assume you like them beyond a platonic thing and don't want to ruin a friendship and since you are flirt blind it is really up to you to clarify.
She is sharing the secrets guys, I mean literally everything, 😅😅. One thing I would say is, if we are not sure whether flirting is working or not, we will leave some room to make sure that it worked and good to continue if not we leave the game 😬😬
I came here because I was curious to what I did to let womyn know I was interested in them. I usually have no idea what I am doing. I find myself laughing because you do obviously understand my personality. LMAO and I don't think people understand. We are not trying to show how smart we are. We are not being cocky or arrogant. We are simply flexing our mental muscle in front of you. We are showing we are worthy of your attention. :) Wait, your not suppose to just go right up and ask the person out?!?! 🤦♂️lol
pretty accurate for INTJ On your question, if I were to ask you out to do something together, I'm asking you out unless I explicitly tell you it's not a date. In my mind, I've already gone there and decided that if I asked you, you'd know or else it doesn't fit in the logical paradigm. That may not make sense to many others though but that's whats going on.
The stalker studying is a real problem. If I am interested in you I might need to change all of my plans and now I need to figure out how you will fit into them. I need to know as much as I can to see if this is worth pursuing. Seeking you out to ask your opinion on something is the biggest flex of my flirtation muscles. I don't need another opinion. If you have facts I need that is different but just coming for your opinion or maybe even asking your advice on something means I see a lot of value in you.
This was fun. I started watching thinking How do INTJs flirt... I do not flirt! The closest I can get to a flirt is if I am engaged talking to you and showing sincere interest. First 2 things you mentioned! Yep... terminally INTJ.
Flirting? What is this flirting you speak of? Like giving someone my full attention in a casual setting? Attitude ranging anywhere from sweet to sassy-pants? Answering "yes" if asked if I like them? ...or possibly just blushing like a traffic light at certain interactions?
I found it kinda funny when you mentioned someone not being as cold as they normally are towards a person. It's like, instead of a block of ice on any normal day, it's more like a defrosted package of hamburger. :)
I don't know about the others, but I've researched the subject of flirting quite extensively, it's a skill worth mastering, if dating is something you plan on doing effectively. What I've learned so far: I find that - listening to the other person intently, finding out more about them is the first step in any case: 1 - you find out if that person is worth the time and effort, 2 - it's percieved as interest. second, charming banter, innuendo's and humor, eye contact, body language, touching can be suprisingly effective - good luck practicing that without making it awkward.. ;). Once you know what to look for in terms of the body language by the target of interest - it's just easier to know where you're at and if it's even worth the attempt. Also, flirting can be fun and engaging... in a nervewracking, heart pounding sort of way.. Also - just being your authentic self is key. But interest needs to be shown at least at some level in some sort of non-creepy way, if you plan on attracting... a crush for example.
I think they make it way too obvious in that it seems like they are doing and saying all this stuff to win you over, but i view it as being somewhat inconsistent with who they truly are as a person. It's like what they want and getting it takes precedence over their authenticity sometimes.
If we take time to talk to you, we like you.. If we study you we’re considering you If we talk to you for more than 3 hours… we’re either into you or you’re an expert in something and we’re stealing your knowledge..
Agree with these points, esp the last one. Ignoring the person, tho... No, I personally don't relate. I try to be available to them without being overwhelming.
In the past I would research them, almost like a stalker but with good intentions I assure haha. But yeah I’ll see if I have common friends or where they might work and then I’ll plan a strategy that can start a conversation like sitting near them in a library so if the drop anything I can help pick it up. Or look at their books and if they have the same topics as mine I can ask a question about a class I’m in. I’ve even tried to sit near one of their friends in a big class to hopefully get a conversation. I guess the main goal is to “naturally” meet without going out and saying you like ... about them. Maybe just a mechanism to avoid rejection I’m not totally sure. Just some thoughts. -INTJ
#2 mind blow. but unless you know the person is an INTJj you can't know it's meaningful for us to pay attention to you bc most social people are attention seekers. How can you understand what mountain I've just climbed if you've never seen the mountain for yourself?
I cant say I agree on the "negging", i see absolutely no reason to bring a person down if I genuinely like them. If anything, id prefer they succeed and live up to their full potential. I might make a jab if theyre a bit lagging but never in a malicious sense. Either way, accurate besides this point to a scary degree.
I have a tendency to make other people more conscientious which seems to work great when I flirt with women who either like a direct approach or have been watching me. But most of the time I’m neutral and observing. Also polarizing.
Lmao yeah. I don't flirt. My show of interest was when someone I had a crush on offered me a ride to the train after work and I said yes without hesitation. Normally I say absolutely no no no even if we're friends haha. Also "stalk them and seem disinterested" hits home. And I don't make eye contact, but with this person I naturally always did. So you know I'm interested if I suddenly act like a normal person somewhat LOL
I had a tryst with an ESFP once who literally coached me on flirting with her, as I was flirting with her. It was pretty funny and sad at the same time. But she liked it a lot, for some reason I will never understand.
I've never had difficulty flirting. I just imagine the cheesiest sleezeball I can that barfs pretty words and charm on everything and I'm ready to roll. Bonus points for over the top or unbelievable. If she thinks it's ridiculous and funny, great! They know it's a character and we can go from there and you can say pretty much whatever truthfully and it's fine because she already thinks you're funny and not a danger to her. If she thinks it's terrible? Well, you better be able to laugh it off or the rest if the evening is going to be pretty rough. 😂
"If an intj doesn’t like you then they simply will not talk to you" so true lmaooooo
I I’ll greet you if I have to and your lucky I’m doing that
INTJ IQ normally: 130
INTJ IQ when flirting: 10
I'm an INTJ and it was funny to watch this video. It is very true, that my idea of flirting is just talking to you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Yes I 100% agree!!!!!
Yes I agree my iq is 160 but I suck at flirting with girls. I just look at them for an uncomfortable time.
Precisely
A little bit
Ohh man. You must be an empath. You feel what I feel 🤣
From an INTJ's perspective: I voluntarily spoke with you, what makes you think I don't like you???
I voluntarily Say hello, so... 🤣
So relatable, 100%.
Yep
😅😂🤣I love INTJS
There's an INTJ lady that dms me a good morning almost every day 🤔
When it comes to most things, I’m proud to be INTJ. When it comes to relationships, it is just plain embarrassing to be INTJ.
Nah. If we put our mind to it, we could be great at flirting. If anything, I’d think the INFP would struggle the most from being painfully shy.
@@JoshuaCastillo6309 true, we cab research techniques
this makes me go ❤ as an infp.
You have to pay attention to others, bring a notebook, write down details, and imitate after you get home, build the systematic way of learning of flirting.
@@JoshuaCastillo6309 Absolutely. Figured out how to flirt effectively back in high school and I was downright dangerous.
If you can make her laugh, even if it's "at" you, you're on the board! Even if she's not into it she's probably not going to be upset with you pulling the same stunt on her friends at a later date. 😂
If you can't make her laugh? You better be able to laugh it off and avoid her for however long it takes. 😅
INTJ here. I don’t flirt or see any reason to flirt. But I have been told I have flirted, and I didn’t realize it. So. it doesn’t matter how much I analyze flirting. It never makes any sense to me.
same. I never flirt, but some told me I am flirty. LOL
Are you a libra?
Seconded, my ex wife would be furious with me some days after co workers I enjoyed told her stories.
I think it's because the closer we get to the opposite sex, at least for guys, our voices get deeper, and we don't even realize we're doing it. It also doesn't matter if the girl is ugly or not, we just do it instinctively. Now we don't get flamboyant flirty as you see with Hollywood types, it's just that we actually change our voice patterns, and I presume it sticks out maybe because other guys don't do that as much and keep their same voice instead. I mean truly, I can tell you there's tons of girls whom I would had been better off with not doing that, but though everything else just screams you're not flirting, that voice says something else. I don't think any girl ever told me I was being flirty, but then I did catch myself a few times doing that, and then I started noticing I do that all the time with all girls that might be in my same age bracket (possible dates IOW). I have no intention of dating most of them, or think I have a chance they would say yes, but I do that anyway. I think, as well, this tends to happen a lot more around shorter girls (I've always had more interest in shorter girls as well), because there's more of an emphasis to talk through your throat when the girl is several inches below you. I haven't ever talked to a girl taller than me, so I don't know if I squeak in such a case😃.
this happened to m e yesterday
How to tell an INTJs like you (from personal experience, anyways):
- they tell you how they actually feel
- they give more than a damn to not hurt your feelings and try to not disturb your world views, except for when they think you might hurt yourself
- they want to be with you. A LOT.
My INTJ friend specially does the second. He's really blunt and straight forward, but since I'm an INFP, he is very careful with his words and whenever he isn't busy with his large list of interests, he spends plenty of time talking to me, bringing those topics to our convo and explains stuff to me with a great deal of patience. INTJs are unique and really interesting individuals who can make you feel as special as they are for you.
I second this as an intj
It's hard to tell because for us, liking you for romantic reasons or just friendship is seemingly the same from the outside.
True
I know!!
WHAT. Fuck
Indeed, my actions have often been misinterpreted as romantic interest by others. I don’t want to sleep with you, I just think you are a neat person to converse with.
We lose our ability to think properly when we are in front of our crush and basically come off as really weird i guess?
Shih, don't tell them, that parts our secret.
Well she did said “dont mind me i am weird”
The first one is true, the other one depends. We always come off as weird, but this is probably the only time we ourselves think we are.
Yess. That's true. Being weird hurt us a lot for days.
INTJ High five! 🙋♂️🙋♀️
You get a thumb up.
Hello fellow INTJ
👏 high five with myself because covid
✋
Yay!!
I NEVER seek anyone out. But if someone who I like initiates a conversation with me, I’ve noticed it’s hard to keep myself from smiling. Which gives it away because I always have a serious look on my face.
Your BAMF-ness cracks a little.
SAME 😂
as an INTJ, i can say that attempting to flirt can and will end in an uncomfortable disaster lol
Have you ever done the six unrelated word stammer, then forgot the words when you tried to explain, then just walked off like a lunatic?
@@danielsmith762 yes, among other place-foot-in-mouth awkward statements lol
FR!!! It happened to me too!!
How to know if an INTJ likes you? Just ask.
I’m an INTJ and don’t flirt. This is what happens when I’m interested in someone: I notice my interest, study the target, analyze strategies to attain target, figure out if said target is worth the effort to attract, THEN if the answer is “yes”, I implement my plan. I’m 100% okay being single, so I don’t act in most cases. I’m currently in a LDR and find it works very well for me and my INFP boyfriend. I miss him but at same time I’m not plotting his demise due to sensory overload. We met via dating app so flirting wasn’t really necessary to indicate my end-goal. Please just ask. We’re not shy. We’re introverts 😜 There’s no need to guess ( it’s inefficient at best).
You are a joke
yeeepp!
indeed You are INTJ
"Study the target. Figure out if target is worth the effort" - Worth the effort, in other words, is the target as interesting as my thoughts, determine patterns in behaviour and trends (any contradictions no go), determine if target future goal will align with mine or hinder, will the target expect me to adapt to average trends in socializing and behaviour or adopt different views, is the target worth my time and energy, will target be too needy..., does target have goals or aspirations of their own at least, determine moral values of target, can target be respected and trustworthy, is target respecting me...
Infp here, do i just straight out ask the intj whether he likes me? Do i just randomly bring it up or wait for the right timing?
Another adorable thing about INTJs is how they respond to flirting. My INTJ was telling me he has a welding machine, and when I told him I thought it was sexy, he nearly knocked over the bottle of wine in the kitchen. It endeared him to me forever ❤😅
He is fortunate to have you.
INTJ: I flirt with the "death stare" and double entendres
No, it's ok, we are the worst. It's true. The stalking thing is part and parcel to our nature. We are hunters. As far as the 'neg'ing' goes, we're very guarded, because the reality is that our hearts are ridiculously fragile, so we protect them, and if we're not sure about whether you'll break those often already pathetically battered things, we'll push you away. If we're not sure you're really interested, we'll also push you away a bit to see if you're willing to do something that makes your intentions obvious. We just not very good at reading subtleties when it comes to romance.
As far as equalization goes, we're sigmas, so we're not above or beneath, nor do we consider others above or beneath us.
Another thing I didn't see you mention is gifts. If an INTJ likes you, they will very likely give you a gift, that is very practical in nature related to an interest you hold, so much so as to seem totally unromantic to most other types, but it will be something we've put our hearts and minds into, because we want to improve your life in a real and tangible way (or so we think).
Thanks for trying to help us be a little less mysterious and unreachable to other types. We really do need all the help we can get, if if most of us don't know or admit it.
I love that you mentioned intj's are sigmas. I just learned about sigma personalities and thought that every into must also be a sigma!
This is very accurate.
ummm I wonder if you gonna say this to a person in real life or just online?
@@ckat4824 I thought it was common place that INTJ's has frail hearts. If they let someone in into their heart that means you are really fucking special and that heart is gift. If an INTJ gives you their heart you take real great care of it. if it shatters, it's like a crystal glass and takes a great amount time to find all the pieces again :)
So true ❤️😭
"I'm talking to you so obviously I like you." HAHAHAHA .. So true.
an INTJ
Actually you nailed all of these. I'm impressed. Great video. Quite entertaining to hear how our flirting styles sound when said outloud. HAHAHAHA...
(I am not so sure about the negging strategy, but then again, I'm not a dick, so....)
I have an ISTJ boyfriend and after the first two weeks we were chatting in DMs he finally asked if I was interested in him beyond friendship and my response was "We've been having 6 hour conversations. I wouldn't be talking to you if I wasn't interested.". I analyze that and wish I had said something more romantic and positive lol.
Jontron what.mp3
Yeah, how can they not get it? I give them my valuable time so it should be obvious!
If you're an INTJ, and want to flirt with an INTP, just randomly start talking about string theory for no reason whatsoever. This will naturally lure the INTP, as they finally are capable of doing something without being called weird or a jerk. (This information is from an INTP)
Can an intp(male) have crush on intj(female) ?
Intj here and i will tell you that I absolutely adore the string theory its very fascinating to have a theory of everything . Before genesis, like its so completely unfathomable but at the same time extremely intriguing to think one day we can have that level of knowledge; and I could talk about it for hours.
Ah yes!
anyone can have a crush on anyone bruh @@nick.r9222
I don't know why I'm here
I'm an ENFP AHAHSHSHHSHSHSSH
Same lmaooo
@@TheVampireWizard ESFP here being sneeky as well :P getting good info's :P
lol, I know why you're here
Same bestie
You love learning about us is all xD
I agree as an INTJ if I like someone and likewise, I would ask a very private question as in about his family (which can make some people uncomfortable). I also would ask about music alot. If someone try to match their music interest with me and I am able to notice that, I know that the person likes me too. The most important thing is, if INTJ tell you about their personal or childhood stuff that means that they trust you, and they are actually ready to be in a relationship with you.
As an intj i can totally relate to this
Im very much on the right track
@@ENFPerspectives Maybe. My intj guy told me personal and childhood stuff that he went through and i felt like it took him that long for him to tell me that. does that mean he wants to be in a relatiosnhip with me? idk i hope so.
Well, what people call flirting ... with INTJ it boils down to:
-Testing person with "alternative reality" humor.
-Searching for caregiver qualities in that person.
...then If we will Really want Him/Her, them Ni just gonna will it into existence.
Some extra information:
#2 Yes and no. I do tend to be respectfully polite, even with people I don't like, unless I have a good reason not to. Meaning I have no qualms talking to anyone in social situations. It's more that I don't want to spend energy on socializing if it's not for a specific purpose. I.e I visit others to watch a movie, and to socialize through watching the movie, because it's something I like. Or I visit for a cup of coffee to have a chat for 1-2 hours. I, however, don't like to visit others under the pretext of watching a movie or to drink a cup of coffee just to idle around on the couch. That's not what I signed up for. Meaning I don't visit others under the pretext of doing something (X), just to be doing something (Y) else. And that's why I also don't socialize just for the sake of socializing. It's too draining for me. I need that external catalyst as a reason to socialize, which may make it seem like I don't actively go out to talk to others. But if someone reaches out to me, I will talk to them politely. I will not just ignore them, as that's very rude.
#3 Yes, it's called information gathering. Though it's not for the sake of simply stalking that person to see what they are up to at all times, more to see whether or not I can get any clues to their personality or interests. That either adds to or takes from the compatibility value. If I find something I really dislike, then that's an immediate drop. Whether or not I have made any active efforts to pursue that person before is going to immediately cease as per a door slam. Though the other person would most likely not be aware of it, because I never showed them any signs of being romantically interested in them to begin with, and as per #2 I will continue to be polite with them as I always have been. Though I would never bring any of this information up with said person. I'm very good at separating information I should NOT know from information that it's perfectly fine to know. Meaning this is just my own personal database.
#5 Yes and no. I consider it to be a form of unwanted abuse to intentionally be rude to others, especially so to someone you like. Though I can make teasing jokes as per #4, which may sound rude at first glance, but the person I'm saying these things to should know by now I'm only jesting. One such example that I can think of on the top of my head (without having said it to anyone) would be to say to someone of middle eastern origin whether or not I dare to enter their car, or if it's going the explode the moment I open the door. Also; if I do like someone, I don't want to be perceived as unintelligent or something similar to that. I'm always going to be in doubt how they perceive me, and I'm going to me more focused on that than I usually am. That may make me unconsciously come across as more arrogant to others as a form of compensation for something, but it's not something I'm aware of or which I am intentionally doing.
#6 Yes, calling it a date makes the INTJ vulnerable, as they could be romantically rejected. Going out to hang out with you on the other hand, allows them to spend time with you under the pretext of friendship, without being vulnerable in return.
Excellent points as a fellow iNTJ. Quite frankly, if more people were in touch with who they are and who the person they're attempting to woo is, then perhaps dating would become a much more efficient process?
Of course, then there wouldn't be as much of that exciting spontaneity, but pick your poison.
Yeah on #3 it’s like you’re putting together a legal defense for a trial, at the end of which you argue internally about whether the case should proceed
As an INTJ, I study the people I'm interested in but not by 'stalking' them (social media, habits,...). I'll try to get to know that person more on a deeper level until I understand or see things about that person that they might not know about themselves. It's just fun to do and it can be an obsession for me but it's also helpful for giving advice to that person.
The other way I flirt is just verbally challenging/teasing them (with sarcasm, inside jokes or references to previous interactions)
The closest thing I know to do to attempt to flirt is to engage in personal conversation about whatever the girl wants to talk about, even if its not something I'm into. I figure out what she's into and see if there's anything I can relate to. The person I'm in love with is the only one whom I can engage in small talk with and actually enjoy it. I also let this person into my personal interests in ways that I don't with other people. I show them my literary works in progress, for example, even ones that I'm struggling to finish. I rarely intentioally let others see stuff I've done until I'm satisfied with the results. I also usually prefer to play videogames alone, so if I invite you to play them with me, I'm interested in you.
At least according to a test, I am an INTJ. And yes, my flirting skills can be described as something between sweet, awkward and funny. Well, could be worse.
But honestly, I really hate all these strange expectations about who should make the first move and how the whole thing should progress. And playing hard to get is just plain infuriating. I prefer to just put all cards on the table and just be honest with each other. Say what you want to do, ask for consent and boundaries and everything is fine.
Examples: "Would you mind if I put my arm around your shoulder?" "I would like to try if kissing you feels right." "Would you like it if I touched you there?"
And no, this is not awkward. This is avoiding accidental sexual harassment.
Also, f*ck gender roles in dating! I am really greatful whenever a woman shows some initiative. It takes a lot of pressure away and you can see that the interest is mutual. I hate dating overly hesitant people who never tell you what they are thinking or what they actually want. That always feels like I am pressuring someone into doing what I want.
The whole INTJ being equalisers resonates so much with me, but you're the first person to ever bring this up. Can you elaborate on that?
"Being less cold than normal" busted out laughing!
Don't worry, INTJ. You can't possibly be worse than INTP.
Most gals who liked me as a young man were INTPs.
Yes yes you can.
At least INTPs Have their wit.
Considering I'm 53% J 47% P I on my own personal behalf disagree 😂😂
From my experience as an INFJ, INTJ is worse because they actually try and fail at flirting while INTP are simply oblivious.
I have a persona I use in customer service to keep people at a distance. My extrovert persona. Ironically, it’s charismatic and flirtatious. When I actually want to flirt with someone I’m interested in, I’m useless
Oh my gosh. Same.
As an INFJ Im not scared of the INTJ death stare l find it amusing well, it can be intimidating at times but this kind of intimidation where just want to please them and do things the way they want them to be done 🤭
Sounds kinky somehow
I'm in an lesbian INTJ-INTP relationship of 7 years and I think we've got one of the greatest dynamics going. Dark humor, debates over topics we aren't actually sincerely invested in, generally just exploring one another's opinions and worldviews. We either agree or respect one another on most everything, because we're both very capable of both listening and explaining ourselves. We're very similar, but different enough to always keep one another on our toes. There will always be more topics to dissect and it never gets old. It's hard to imagine how other couples function at all.
I'm a lesbian too. You're lucky to have found another NT type to be with. I was with another intj at one point but it didn't work out. It was fun while it lasted. Now I'm just trying to maneuver throw the sea of feelers that is the lesbian community and find another NT. Anyway best of luck to u and your lady love
@@Twelly93 I think u should try giving a chance to other types like istj, infj, enfj, isfp too other than nt types.
I'm an intp lesbian that has a crush on an also lesbian intj! I'm here to see if I can notice anything strange about her behavior since I'm trying to cling onto the hope that she likes me back. What I've noticed in her recent behavior is that she's been engaging in physical touch fairly often and that she's been spending a lot of time with me 1 on 1. Alot of flirty remarks and jokes have been exchanged between us two but it might be different since we're girls. But then again, we're lesbians.
@@raexjl3008 As a lesbian INTJ, I do not do those things if I don't have feelings and I never have.
Will I notice you flirting on the other hand? That's another question. 😂😅
INTJ here. If I really like you, I will abandon my plan (and my 13 backup plans) to make you comfortable if you spontaneously change plans. I won't do this in any case if I don't like you and rather find excuses to stick to my plan. I will act like it's no biggie to abandon my plans even though I hate it.
"I have been on perhaps dates, with INTJs that I'm not even sure if that's what it was after the fact..."
Yes, you were dating (from their perspective). They wouldn't put that time and energy into you otherwise.
If they have no interest in you, it will be obvious.
ENFP here dating a INTJ and this just.. makes so much sense lol 😂
He's hard to read if he fell for me or not when we first confessed to each other. I had no idea ny friend/the person i crushed on also had feelings for me. In my opinion, INTJ are just adorable (:
Hiya! Another fellow ENFP (18f) here, hi ^^
How did you end up confessing to each other if you don't mind sharing? And did you know that you were both physically attracted to each other when you hit it off as "friends?"
I've fallen baddddd for this INTJ (24m) and although we've only known each other for a month through mutual friends, I feel so comfortable around him and hopefully the same the other way round.
He always asks if I'm free on the weekend to do something with him (city tour, photoshoot, cafe, anything stimulating), and although it's freezinggg we can walk, talk and laugh for hours and hours ;_; i feel like our chemistry is on point and I'm sure you feel this in your relationship too, but our witty humour just goes back and forth so effortlessly and it feels so satisfying :,D having a lot of common interests helps with conversations too (and yes he does the classic INTJ interview style talks)
I also feel that he acts much sweeter around me (or feels more comfortable doing so) when the rest of the friend group is gone.
When we were waiting outside a restaurant and it was superrrrr cold he offered me a hug (I couldn't tell if he was joking or not so I stupidly made a joke about penguins and brushed it aside :,)
He then was like "can I see how cold you are?" And I saw him trying to touch my hand the tiniest cutest bit istg ;_; I'm so sad I'm sorry.
When we were doing a photoshoot with his nice camera in the city, I asked him "do I look okay?" and he was like "you always look good m/n" ;_;
The last last time I saw him he walked ne to the train station because its dangerous at night, and we were meant to part ways because he had a hangout with his other friend group I don't know yet. He gave me a proper hug and we waved far apart at the barriers and I was waiting for my train home in 4mins.
And thennnn I hear this GUY calling my name from the other side of the train track, saying that he didn't feel like hanging with them anymore and he wanted to talk for 4mins before my comes. He told me good luck for my modelling show tommorow and to not get cold, and asked if I wanted to go to the museum with him next week :,) and then we waved excessively at each other when I got on the train. I can't wait to see againnn! :D There are so many other silly details I could gush over but I just felt like getting it off my chest :,)
@@sarahtowlearts If he is an INTJ, you simply kiss him(if you really like him), that breaks alot of the barriers that an INTJ can have emotionally. just know that his heart very frail and if you break it it will take alot of time for it to heal. INTJ knows jack shit when a person is into them or not, you need to be blunt with it. if he is an INTJ, it will not come of wierd, it's making things official :)
the worst thing you can do is saying something like: "we should se other people" if it ends up not working. if you breaking up, the guy is gonna be emotionally thorn up, and those words will make things so much worse.
Oh, and if he shows genuine interest in you(which it seems like he does) he is probably already really invested in you and only you.
But this was 2 months ago, hope it worked out for you two!
Tdlr; basically give people a chance before shooting them down.
It may be true that we generally speaking wont bother with getting to know a person if they seem boring or annoying but I have learned over time to suspend judgement as the first impression of a person may be a bit skewed. Talking a bit more to the person can reveal or at best teach you something you don't know.
Agreed. Used dating apps and this very attractive girl reached out to me, and I told her we would not be compatible. She was highly insulted because I took the information from her bio and made the assumption she was too sociable for me (always wanting to go out). I should have at least entertained it instead of judging right away
That's not contradictory. If I am being mean to you then that's my most serious attention. I am trying to have fun with you. People don't get it. They get stuck in their personal ego and taking things personally. When an INTJ gives shit to you you give shit back to him. That's our love Language.
Agreed
As an INFP, it takes quite a while for us to know that type of language especially since we are so sensitive and very polite and nice to the point we don't give shit.
This is so trueeee
Haha, this is on point, 😂😅. When I fancy someone, I dissociate and avoid the person entirely. I view crushes as a frivolous distraction, holding my attention hostage from more pressing matters. I often get reprimanded by my more emotionally adept colleagues that, “It is ok to feel things.” It is not the same for every INTJ, so don’t take my word as gospel if you fancy a INTJ yourself, lmao.
Emotional inadequacy is a flaw that I’m attempting to work on. Please don’t take my word as discouragement to woo someone that shares my personality. I bet that person feels the same and may not be as brash about demonstrating it, 😉😎👍.
5:48 its only because they very-very like you, but in the other hand they are very limited in social actions.They try to take you down to a level what they can handle...No bad/evil in the background.They do this only if they are in panic,and dont know what to do at all,when is no precedent in the introvert library for the case.When this happens,and will cause some noticed awkwardness,they will be more silent as usally in the remaining time,cus they die inside atm.
Please, could you explain more this point? I’m an INFJ that has a crush on an INTJ 🙃
This is almost spooky in its accuracy! The part about normalizing by bringing up/down people, especially. I recently got back in touch with someone I dated 20 years ago that I broke up with because she couldn't take a compliment. The imbalance was so impossible that I countered the initial compliments with insults just to balance it out and try saving face before breaking up. I've been trying to explain how this worked in my wierd INTJ brain and this video might be the key to her understanding me. THANK YOU
Can't help but smile ❤
"I caught you this sweet bass.", Napoleon Dynamite.
Everything is on point except for negging. I never want anyone to feel bad unless it is someone I truly hate.
I'm usually direct, that I'll ask a woman to a coffee as soon as I find that there's a good possible future for the two of us together. This is to immediately end all my daydreams with that person early if the feelings are not mutual. Thus, I can immediately move on to things that matter more to me.
All day this.
I flirt all the time, just dont know that i am doing it. We are great unconscious flirt, but as soon as we try to flirt consciously FAIL big time.
That's so true😂
When you said about ,,searching Google" etc., I was smailing for a quite long time. But this is what I done, when I was interested in relationship.
Sorry for my English if I made a mistake. I am still learning.
Female INTJ here. I can concur with your list. Especially, conversation and Googling to the point of no stone left unturned.
I will advice to other INTJs, you can accidentally find out TOO much, e.g.: traumatic loss in someone's background - that in my case, makes his backstory more intriguing and yet I wish I didn't know out of his own privacy.
Intj female here. I agree with everything stated in the video except for the ignoring people part. Sounds very unhealthy.
As an intj man I can tell you that ignoring people is useful, it avoids the awkwardness of making the first move and the others have to initiate, when someone starts the conversation, as a listener it is easier to follow what is happening than the one who is speaking
100% giving someone patience. I will even let them finish retelling a story I've already heard. "Stalkerish" sounds harsh, but we do research you. At the core, this is an innocent action because we want to learn who you are at your core. Spot on video. Too funny.
if an intj save your phone number you are important if they remember your phone number that you are very very important
🤣🤣🤣
I'm a INTJ. I can be obsessed with a particular woman, I will actually be a bit low key about it. Truth is I like to be in control. My experience is love relationships no matter how good it is. Seems to take me out of my zone. My secret layer, if you will.
INTP here! So INTJ’s supposedly we are the perfect match!!
I’m single and ready to mingle! 😎👍
I am an INTP and I was married to an INTJ. Don’t do it. They’ll just get frustrated with you eventually because they 1) think everyone else is an idiot, 2) have no chill and 3) feel the need to be constantly busy/productive but will 4) reject any idea/activity they did not come up with themselves. If you are an INTP, an INTJ will just view you as lazy no matter what you do.
@@CataclysmicBeefstick I am intj, can confirm lol
Technically (and realistically) the perfect match of the mbti is ENFP and INTJ.
@@CataclysmicBeefstick what about infj?
@@lazyjane1223 That's another matter entirely.
We are honorable creeps
/-And/
-Lazy flirts
Not stalkers
...much
I like to tease my potential crush, so #5 makes sense to me, except it's not made to harm, It's more "bro talk" but with girls. It must be intended to test for wits and humor compatibility. By the way, you're the sweetest ESTP I ever saw, I didn't know you guys could be this cute (and shy?) and accurate about INTJs. You won yourself a new sub ;-)
Ikr? How ESTPs such smol beans
I know the pain as an Intp liking a intj it hurts a lot but she worth it
I will pay more attention to people I like. Study them which makes me more comfortable on how to approach them. However.. studying someone for years defeats the purpose. Once I decide to engage.. if they don't follow the plan I have thought about. I will withdraw. I am trying to prove a point. As I am sitting back watching their reactions and judging them based on that. Constant loop.
True
I had interaction with one INTJ as far as I know, and I was all over ,smiling, asking a bunch of questions, draging him to places across the city..😂 but he was listening to me and staring at me intensely when I talked, I didn't know is he judging me or enjoying xd He was very weird but very cute!
I am an ENFP
That's a good match if you are both healthy, in a psychological sense. The FP is such a balance, the insights can be poetic. The TJ balances out the over thinking, the self judgement. As you two learn to trust each other it can be quiet romantic.
He might enjoy it. When we concentrate we get the intense stare even more 😂
Female INTJ here. In college I had a close ENFP female friend and she was fascinated by me and vice versa. She liked how aloof, calm, collected I was and I liked her giddy energy. She said she was afraid of me sometimes though, because I might be judging her, but I told her it's just that I observed people and if I didn't say anything she shouldn't be worried.
The first one is very true in my case, I'll give you a example I was reading a book and this complete strangers walks up to become my friend, my first response is "what disrespectful idiot walks up to someone in the middle of a chapter and expects to have a good conversation" vs when my friend did the same thing "hold up, let me get to a stopping point real quick" (why does that sound so stereotypical...)
I think a little clarification is needed here. We do not initiate conversation with those we don't like, but if they speak to us we will be civil and answer, however short, we will speak with them. Just don't expect us to talk to you if you voluntarily. I hope you agree with me, TypeMatch. Cheers!
Yes flirting does not compute at all.
I just tell them how I feel. "I like looking at you." Sometimes it's more romantic when I point out something deep I like with them. My ex used to say I can speak straight into her heart - both in a good and a bad way.
Came here out of curiosity after "discovering" I am apparently an INTJ and it all makes so much sense (logically... of course). The way you've described them in this video is like you know me a bit already.. kinda scary but cool at the same time!! In a good way.
INTJ's are always into bringing everything up to the next level. That's why it's so much fun to watch them with babies. They will spend hours finding perfectly fitted educational toys for kids, and then spend more hours teaching the kid how to play with them. My granddaughter could climb on top of the refrigerator and steal cookies at age two. At age three she started reading and had complex computer skills. She's still killing it in school today. My only regret about our time spent together is that she studies alone and needs a lot of alone time just like me. INTJ's might not make it far on the social ladder, but we are committed to making it perfect.
Agreed.
Firstborn learned, aged about 6, how to make a wooden block pyramid that stood on the point, not on the wide base. The child doctor asked him to make a pyramid as part of his development assessment, so he made it on the point as usual, and was marked down! Stupid woman - I bet she couldn't do it!
OMG so on point, as an INFJ that (may be dating...??) an INTJ.... I am not sure. When we are together, I am pretty sure its a date (opening doors, paying for everything, making future plans or just talking going deep for HOURS...) when we are not together... crickets...... sigh
As someone on the receiving end of #5, I just want to say it's exhaustinggg
For me, the planning stage to see if I actually like someone and the amount of talking to know the person leaves the other person disinterested after awhile.
I know in jr high when ever i had a crush, conversation with friends would go like this.
Me: I like this person
Friend: ask them out
Me: but i dont know them
Friend: thats how you get to know them.
Me: too risky
I'm a hardcore INTJ, and you're gorgeous.
Over time I have learned to flirt, but still wouldn’t be the norm. Definitely have learned to tell if she likes or is interested in me (to a point). Yes, not subtle, but direct. Can’t say I’ve googled anyone, but check out their profiles, definitely. Rarely if ever, ask anyone out unless I know they are interested. Small talk is pointless to me, so by in large you are correct, but also know that I’m also not a classic INTJ.
We will not give anyone our time unless we are interested.
Wish more people were aware of their personality type, but only a small percentage are.
Title:
INTJ: No shit.
So I just learned about demisexuals and it made me wonder if intj's are more likely to be demisexual. This means that you do not become sexually attracted to a person until you get to know them first. As an intj I am attracted to a person's mind, character, and level of self awareness.. I do not get attracted to someone just because they are physically attractive or successful, etc... I need to know them first and determine if they interest me / meet my standards before I can bexome attracted.
this!
That might be more true for female intjs. As a intj guy I can be attracted only by looks, but then I can't be physical with a girl if I didn't get to know her deeply.
As a INTJ, I do feel attracted to girls physically but even if I fall in love, if you have some red flags I notice, I will crash that feeling to the ground to avoid a toxic relationship 😅
equalizing and negging is sooo true lmao!! as an entp that kills me tbh but i also know for a fact that im a lot to handle so i guess it equalizes 😅🤪
So...I try to be aware of opportunities to flirt because my research shows it's supposed to be highly effective. Either my research is wrong, or I'm doing it wrong, or it's the wrong person every time.
On the point about "negging"... My Fi got offended for a second, then I was like.... no yea I totally do that. But... I think on a subconscious level it is because I'm trying to find something to compliment, that I genuinely like, that she / society might view as a flaw. So on the receiving end it might come off poorly because I'm pointing out a flaw, but at least personally it's out of a desire to be original and genuine. Honestly though.... flirting is super hard, and if I'm talking to you of my own volition that's high praise.
When you share your most recent Google sheet and want to explain how all of the ~3,187 function dependent and reaction based cells work: love.
I'm one of those rare INTJ... INTJ with high EQ
Meaning I understand, read, and predict people's emotion almost perfectly
How? Because I'm interested in it. When INTJ are interested in anything, they seek to become masters of it; the best at it
And because of that, I flirt pretty damn well... Nowadays, I try harder to keep girls (who has the potential of liking me) from liking me. Confidence truly is the main attraction for females.
.... I admit I've never met an INTJ female before
I only wish I have or will eventually because I really really really want to see how it feels to talk to a female in sync with my frequency
Pretty interesting take. I think it was pretty accurate throughout though I will note that I haven't experienced a lot of nice people flirting through being mean like neging (I think that's how it's spelled). Neging is a tactic used by pick up artists to lower the confidence of their intended target. It's employed by people too insecure in comparison to the person they're trying to date to think they can get a date with that person on their own merits so person A has to bring that person B down in order to make sure A and B seem to be on equal footing and to make sure that person B is less confident in their chances of finding a date, so B goes for A as A already seems to devote attention to them. I'm sure you've noticed that it's a hurtful tactic to employ, it's mostly used by men as people seem to think in a general sense that men are the ones that approach women and women are the ones that have to choose whether or not to date the men and if a woman is more confident she won't just take up any man that approaches her simply because he gives her attention. It can also be a tactic employed by women, as anyone whatever their gender can be a manipulative person and can be susceptible to being manipulated (I haven't mentioned same sex relationships because this doesn't seem to be as much of an issue in them but it's a tactic that can be employed by anyone regardless of sexual orientation). In any case, I don't think INTJs or really any type is immoral in their dating just by nature of being a certain type though I do think some types are more likely to misunderstand dating and develop unhealthy habits when it comes to getting dates or the way they treat their partners. Though I can see any type having various unhealthy attitudes towards dating that are influenced by their type. I think it depends not just on type but environment as well. Personally, as an INTJ I would never neg anyone as I just feel it's mean and a manipulative way to get someone to date you or hook up with you. But on a lighter note, I also noticed that you didn't talk as much about how direct INTJs can be when it comes to dating and asking people out. Like for me, the one thing that holds me back from asking people I find potential in as romantic partners is not knowing if they like me in a romantic way or not and being afraid of misinterpreting things. If I knew they did I'm very immediate in getting to the point, asking if they're single and then not beating around the bush by simply saying I really like you I think you're interesting and I'd love to go on a date with you and so on. When I like someone I generally try to find them and talk to them even if I don't have much to say, I try to avoid bringing up small talk unless I have to but with people I like romantically it's not that hard to get through and I sometimes bring it up simply because I want to talk more to the person and it's a way to gain more info which I can analyze about that person I like. Anyway pretty good video and well-laid out points. Good job, ❤️
I have this woman whom I have a crush on, and I think she might be interested back. We haven't talked much because I tend to get really nervous around her, but I am trying to initiate conversations with her. Anyway, I'm an INFJ and I have been really smitten by this girl. I was curious to know what her personality type was, but I wasn't being very direct with her, so I asked what degree she was studying for, and she responded with Architect. So, I googled which MBTI's are most likely to into Architect and INTJ came out. I'll admit she does seem to match INTJ because she strikes me as a very quiet person, someone could perceive that as being cold. She makes fun of me in a respectful way, which at first kind of confused me. She seems to be a very analytical individual. I noticed she doesn't talk too much to other people nearly as much as she does with me. Is it possible---if she's an INTJ---she's interested in me? If so, how can I go about to ask her for her phone number or to hangout. Should I be direct? or continue to talk to her? I'm just not sure how to approach this because I haven't dated in a very long time, and I don't want to come off as rude or make her uncomfortable. I just want to get to know her. Thank you for any tips! I truly appreciate it.
It's actually quite difficult to be rude to an INTJ. They are direct and to the point, and enjoy friendly insult and banter. They don't really do romance for romance' sake, but if she enjoys doing something, and she likes you, she will enjoy doing that thing with you. So to ask an INTJ out, you think of something you might like to do together and you go straight up to her and ask her if she would like to do that thing. And listen to the answer. INTJs don't do excuses or polite brush-offs either; if she refuses a date and gives a reason, 99 times out of 100 the reason she gives will be the actual, literal reason why she isn't going to go on the date.
Don't expect demonstrative enthusiasm either. I recently reconnected with a very old INTJ friend I hadn't seen for a long time. She invited me to visit in the summer; so come the summer I called her up: "I promised you a visit." "Oh, did you? I suppose you'd better come down then." To listen to her you'd think it was a revolting but necessary chore she'd agreed to. But when I got there she'd pulled out all the stops and planned everything meticulously to show me around and make sure I had the best possible stay. If your INTJ likes you, she will aim to make you happy by practical means, not by words and gestures. I rarely get terms of endearment, but I get a lot of gardening advice. And they can be weirdly sentimental, especially where it comes to anything with the personal touch. I tried to buy her a "thank you for having me" present but she wouldn't have it; so I sent her a card, with a slightly soppy message in it. I didn't hear anything about it so I assumed she hadn't appreciated it. The next time I visited, months later, I saw the same card still on display on the kitchen windowsill. Buying her a present from a shop probably won't cut the mustard; but I took my friend a dozen bottles of home-brewed beer last time I visited and that went down a storm. (Even if a large part of that came from the amusement value when one of them exploded!)
I relate to the 'perhaps we were dating' thing. INTJs please don't assume they know. They might be too afraid to assume you like them beyond a platonic thing and don't want to ruin a friendship and since you are flirt blind it is really up to you to clarify.
She is sharing the secrets guys, I mean literally everything, 😅😅. One thing I would say is, if we are not sure whether flirting is working or not, we will leave some room to make sure that it worked and good to continue if not we leave the game 😬😬
as an INTJ I feel so attacked-
I dated a woman from 2011 to 2014 and never asked her out, something she would remind me of.
Stalk them (although I would call it "study them") and seem disinterested...haha YUP!
Thank you for making this video without using an AI voice.
We only give the time of day to people we find interesting and respect.
Lots of dots here! The INTJs seem to have a typing quirk. Curious INTP here
I came here because I was curious to what I did to let womyn know I was interested in them. I usually have no idea what I am doing. I find myself laughing because you do obviously understand my personality. LMAO and I don't think people understand. We are not trying to show how smart we are. We are not being cocky or arrogant. We are simply flexing our mental muscle in front of you. We are showing we are worthy of your attention. :) Wait, your not suppose to just go right up and ask the person out?!?! 🤦♂️lol
pretty accurate for INTJ
On your question, if I were to ask you out to do something together, I'm asking you out unless I explicitly tell you it's not a date. In my mind, I've already gone there and decided that if I asked you, you'd know or else it doesn't fit in the logical paradigm. That may not make sense to many others though but that's whats going on.
The stalker studying is a real problem. If I am interested in you I might need to change all of my plans and now I need to figure out how you will fit into them. I need to know as much as I can to see if this is worth pursuing.
Seeking you out to ask your opinion on something is the biggest flex of my flirtation muscles. I don't need another opinion. If you have facts I need that is different but just coming for your opinion or maybe even asking your advice on something means I see a lot of value in you.
This was fun. I started watching thinking How do INTJs flirt... I do not flirt! The closest I can get to a flirt is if I am engaged talking to you and showing sincere interest. First 2 things you mentioned! Yep... terminally INTJ.
Yeah, true, hahaha, especially when you mentioned the "Fi child at the core." Yeah, I can be like that when I like and trust someone a lot.😄👻
Flirting? What is this flirting you speak of? Like giving someone my full attention in a casual setting? Attitude ranging anywhere from sweet to sassy-pants? Answering "yes" if asked if I like them? ...or possibly just blushing like a traffic light at certain interactions?
I found it kinda funny when you mentioned someone not being as cold as they normally are towards a person. It's like, instead of a block of ice on any normal day, it's more like a defrosted package of hamburger. :)
I don't know about the others, but I've researched the subject of flirting quite extensively, it's a skill worth mastering, if dating is something you plan on doing effectively.
What I've learned so far: I find that - listening to the other person intently, finding out more about them is the first step in any case: 1 - you find out if that person is worth the time and effort, 2 - it's percieved as interest. second, charming banter, innuendo's and humor, eye contact, body language, touching can be suprisingly effective - good luck practicing that without making it awkward.. ;). Once you know what to look for in terms of the body language by the target of interest - it's just easier to know where you're at and if it's even worth the attempt. Also, flirting can be fun and engaging... in a nervewracking, heart pounding sort of way..
Also - just being your authentic self is key. But interest needs to be shown at least at some level in some sort of non-creepy way, if you plan on attracting... a crush for example.
You tried to turn instinct into math, you mean. Not impossible for sure, but I don't think many try to do it.
@@danielsmith762 I try
I think they make it way too obvious in that it seems like they are doing and saying all this stuff to win you over, but i view it as being somewhat inconsistent with who they truly are as a person. It's like what they want and getting it takes precedence over their authenticity sometimes.
If we take time to talk to you, we like you..
If we study you we’re considering you
If we talk to you for more than 3 hours… we’re either into you or you’re an expert in something and we’re stealing your knowledge..
Agree with these points, esp the last one. Ignoring the person, tho... No, I personally don't relate. I try to be available to them without being overwhelming.
In the past I would research them, almost like a stalker but with good intentions I assure haha. But yeah I’ll see if I have common friends or where they might work and then I’ll plan a strategy that can start a conversation like sitting near them in a library so if the drop anything I can help pick it up. Or look at their books and if they have the same topics as mine I can ask a question about a class I’m in. I’ve even tried to sit near one of their friends in a big class to hopefully get a conversation. I guess the main goal is to “naturally” meet without going out and saying you like ... about them. Maybe just a mechanism to avoid rejection I’m not totally sure. Just some thoughts.
-INTJ
#2 mind blow. but unless you know the person is an INTJj you can't know it's meaningful for us to pay attention to you bc most social people are attention seekers. How can you understand what mountain I've just climbed if you've never seen the mountain for yourself?
as an INTJ, I have no idea what flirting is. Talking, yup.
I cant say I agree on the "negging", i see absolutely no reason to bring a person down if I genuinely like them. If anything, id prefer they succeed and live up to their full potential. I might make a jab if theyre a bit lagging but never in a malicious sense.
Either way, accurate besides this point to a scary degree.
I have a tendency to make other people more conscientious which seems to work great when I flirt with women who either like a direct approach or have been watching me. But most of the time I’m neutral and observing. Also polarizing.
Lmao yeah. I don't flirt. My show of interest was when someone I had a crush on offered me a ride to the train after work and I said yes without hesitation. Normally I say absolutely no no no even if we're friends haha. Also "stalk them and seem disinterested" hits home. And I don't make eye contact, but with this person I naturally always did. So you know I'm interested if I suddenly act like a normal person somewhat LOL
I had a tryst with an ESFP once who literally coached me on flirting with her, as I was flirting with her.
It was pretty funny and sad at the same time. But she liked it a lot, for some reason I will never understand.
They are the best at flirting and we're the worst, so I can see why it would be funny and entertaining for them
I've never had difficulty flirting. I just imagine the cheesiest sleezeball I can that barfs pretty words and charm on everything and I'm ready to roll. Bonus points for over the top or unbelievable.
If she thinks it's ridiculous and funny, great! They know it's a character and we can go from there and you can say pretty much whatever truthfully and it's fine because she already thinks you're funny and not a danger to her.
If she thinks it's terrible? Well, you better be able to laugh it off or the rest if the evening is going to be pretty rough. 😂
we don't believe we know everything, we just believe we know more than you do
And our opinion on something is based on actually thinking it through.