3 ways to fight Moral Scrupulosity OCD
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มิ.ย. 2024
- Moral Scrupulosity questions every thought and action and evaluates it. It's the never-ending dilemma of wondering if you're a good or a bad person. Here are 3 tips to use if you struggle with moral scrupulosity OCD.
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In my own experience, this theme has been the most painful and debilitating one to deal with. It’s especially hard because when I explain it, sometimes people only think it’s about hypothetical wrongdoings and they forget that I can obsess about real wrongdoings as well.
I am so sorry that you feel misunderstood. OCD tends to have that effect on people. You are not alone in your struggles!
Yea I feel absolutely hopeless I gave up fighting ocd for a while
@@sameeralam1725 There is always hope, keep fighting!!
@@sameeralam1725 I had severe OCD for many years and my mental health has very very improved, I send you Love and Light
@@sameeralam1725 I pray for you I hope you are better my friend
this perfectionism is exhausting. it makes me depressed.
I'm a massive Harry Potter nerd but there's a section in one of the books where one of the portraits is saying really mean things and Dumbledore just calmly responds with "thank you, that's enough" and I just pictured reacting to my intrusive thoughts that way 😂 funny the things that click in our head
😂 I love this !
This and real event OCD pair up like a catastrophic team, in my experience these two have been the worst when working together, but especially when compulsions are reassurance related- I've lost count of how many times I bothered friends about whether or not what I did was wrong or how deathly afraid I am of being "exposed" for the wrong things I've done in my past, almost as if I didn't ever change or grown as a person in OCD's eyes, but I think it doesn't matter if people can grow past these mistakes, for this disorder, there is no forgiving. Thankfully there's effective treatment on how to deal with it, these videos have been really helpful to me and to many, thank you Nate.
The "false alarms" I've been dealing with for several years have been guiding me. I don't want to be that way anymore
"Stop trying to control everything and LET GO" Tyler Durden. It is what it is. Let whatever happens happen - LOST. Maybe. Maybe not. This is good. Thanks Ryan from Yellowcard.
Whenever my moral OCD acts up to the point I can’t handle it I watch this. It calms me down. I’ve been watching this over and over when I have a breakdown for a while but haven’t commented until now. Thank you for making this video.
Hey, I’m just replying to ask how are you progressing right now?
@@Mazorka2006 not perfect but better than it was. i’m at least watching this video less.
I hope you're doing better, it may not seem like this but we are all in this together!
I only recently learned that this was a thing and it made my life make so much sense. From the time I was a child I was obsessed with rules and following them and if I thought I did something wrong I would replay it in my mind for YEARS until I had a mental breakdown and “confessed” it to my mom who then told me that I was fine and a good person. Mine definitely happens with overthinking decisions I already felt I made a correct moral decision on and then twisting them to be immoral and guilting myself into thinking I’m a bad person.
Wow this video just saved me.. tears! It was exactly what I needed to hear in the mental state right now I’m in right now.. What relief!! Thank you Nate, your words gives me hope and calmness when I didn’t think that was possible. Thank you thank you thank you for your work.
I am so glad that you found this video helpful!
Today I had a massive surge in my scrupulosity OCD, which is heavily based on my morals. I couldn't break the thought cycle until this video. I'll be trying your course... thank you for all you do for us who struggle. You help more than you know. You come across as a friend, as someone relatable and understanding. You're greatly appreciated.
Those are the kindest words and they mean a lot! I'm sorry to hear about your struggles! I hope you can find some relief in what you're experiencing!
Look into what role shame had in your childhood. Did your parents used shame to get you to obey? Did they emotionally regulated you...or was you a extension to them. Was the roles switched? You regulated them... always obey because of fear of shame? People pleasing....this could be a deeper reason for your OCD. That you are ASHAMED for who you are.
Thinking about that time when Kanye West said “I guess we’ll never know” usually helps me with this.
Hopefully you imagine it in his voice too! It helps take the edge off.
Omg I love that and will be using it 💕
Thanks for this video man. I had a massive surge of Moral scrupulosity OCD over the past few days (which is odd because to my knowledge I've never had it before) and it lead to nightmares of me getting abandoned and shamed by friends and family members, and even getting arrested and charged. I had trouble sleeping, socializing, and I didn't even get out of my room for a while.
Luckily I'm talking with a therapist about it now.
I think the simple fact that someone with moral scrupulousityy does this kinda says their a good person in and of itself because bad people know their doing wrong but they DON'T CARE. People with this condition obviously DO.
100% me growing up. When I was really young I would ask my parents "will it dry?", then as i got older "is it ok if...?", then as a teen i'd ask my friends "are you mad at me?", etc. My OCD now has other flavors in addition to the scrupulosity, but scrupulosity is still underneath it all unfortunately. Great post Nathan.
Thanks for explaining what you experience. It's interesting that OCD attacks the things we don't know more than things we know for sure.
Hello, I'm Vietnamese, can you give all videos with Vietnamese subtitles, I and all of you in Vietnam really need videos like this to help. I'm really stuck but I can't read English, this disease in our country still has many limitations that are not well understood. 😣
Great video, i have suffered with anxiety for many many years. I was always the joker on the outside, an incident triggered my OCD and it took years and years to realise that OCD never stops and you wont get an answer as it will go on and on. The most interesting thing i learnt is i was feeling guilty forvhaving thought's, i paid to much attention to them , and because my morals and values are good, i thougyt i must be evil or a bad person then you ruminate, then the anxiety and depression comes in. So i learnt and im always learning to actually allow the thoughts and give them 0 meaning, so i just say there you are hi, and literally do not ask myself why. I just learnt theres no reasoning. We all have intrusive thoughts ocd sufferers are decent people, but we can make mistakes. Turn everything into a positive and the monster will be caged
I’m scared that then I’ll turn into someone who doesn’t care which makes me a bad person…
You are my light at the end of the tunnel every time I’m 23 and this has been one of the toughest past couple months not realizing my thinking pattern was a problem. Thank you for all the videos you post, you truly make a difference ❤️
I feel for you. It is a pain no one who hasn't struggled with it will understand. Stay strong. There is hope. I was freed from this burden years ago. I still have some remnants of OCD but can live a mostly normal life
I was diagnosed with OCD as a child and religious scrupulosity is one of the diagnosis and recently I've been focused on 10-year time frame starting 30 years ago. I absolutely adore the dog I have now and it's getting old and for some reason I flashed back to a family pet that I wasn't always good to. I was younger then and had my own trauma. Honestly it's hard to tell what's a real memory and what's not. One thing about OCD is the present always gets neglected because we try to figure out the past.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Feeling pretty defeated on this and many other fronts. Dealing with ROCD, mental compulsions and rumination, scrupulousity/moral OCD, perfectionism, contamination OCD, and more that are affecting all aspects of my life and often compiling on eachother.
It seems like the root of it all is thinking I'm a terrible person no matter the evidence for or against it.
I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in OCD now, so hoping that helps immensely.
Hello sir! If I may, I too once struggled with scrupulosity and moral OCD. However, I write this to you as a way of hope! I overcame moral OCD by believing the Gospel of Jesus Christ! th-cam.com/video/VoT6luWFygA/w-d-xo.htmlsi=HSzXHbjZgT8_FVm3 . The truth will set you free and I do not know you but I would love to see you in heaven. If you watch some of the videos on that channel I linked you, You can know that you will go to heaven when you die! The gospel that I present you is found in 1 Corinthians 15:1-5 “ (1) Moreover, brethren, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received and in which you stand,
(2)by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which I preached to you-unless you believed in vain. (3)For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, (4) and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, (5) and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve.” God bless!!
Hi Nat, thanks for your efforts! I’m currently struggling with the fear of having infected someone with covid, due to a false test. It’s hard to accept the uncertainty that you may be guilty of causing harm to others. Keep up the good work!
Darn pandemic! Sorry for what you're going through my friend.
Your voice is so relaxing. After taking notes from what you say in your vids, i press replay so that i can listen it again to help me sleep
Great video. This is one of the clearest explanations of moral ocd I’ve seen. Thankyou.
Thanks for this clear & encouraging video! I am full-time counselor and a happily married mom of 3 who just became aware of my ocd worries a year ago. OCD is tricky!!! Love the phrase you use here that those recurring thoughts are "false alarms." Super helpful.
Your channel has been such a helpful tool for me. You are such a huge blessing to so many lives, mine included. Thank you!!!
I’m honestly so glad that you made this video. A lot of the situations I’m in and I’m thinking, my thoughts and feelings are manipulated into the last thing I want to feel at that time with no clear explanation. I’m not diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I have OCD and this really helped so thanks 🙂
I always come back to youre videos every week… they help me STRONGLY! for about a week then my ocd creeps back but this is my first year going through this since I been sober from alcohol, I’m super happy for you’re videos, I am trying to exercise, get a good sleep, eat healthy and trying to quit smoking by slowly cutting down, but I notice sometimes I end up smoking like I normally do and then my ocd comes back so I am back here viewing youre video to hoping it helps me feel good for another week to completely stop smoking and be good!
You've always been such a big help. Thank you, man
I think this is the best video I've ever seen of yours! I have this type if ocd...one of many!
Thank you! You're great at what you do and 100% know your stuff!! Keep em' coming!
I had been doing so much better thanks to you and others here on TH-cam. I recently had a slip back Into my old habits which was very distressing. This video was a helpful reminder of the tools I learned before. Thank goodness for people like you who share this knowledge.
Everyone struggling, I promise you can get better and feel joy in your life :)
Words cannot explain how much this video means to me. I've never had someone describe so perfectly a problem I've been unable to put into words. THANK YOU.
Nathan! I can’t tell you how much this video helped me in accepting my illness!!
Thank you so so so so much ❤
More power to you ✨
I (22M) recently learned I have OCD bc of a really bad bout of POCD. Looking back, I wonder if a phase I had age 16 being really really stressed that I was contributing to climate change was actually a scrupulosity theme.
I couldn't stop thinking, every step of the day, about the idea each little thing I did was contributing to the end of the world.
I'd get up and have a shower - hot water heated with gas
I'd make breakfast - food grown with industrial fertilisers, transported from God knows where, and cooked in a powered oven
I'd go to school - in a car that uses fossil fuels
All the computers and books and equipment was manufactured in a factory and if it used power, it was bad of me to use it
I took a lot of extreme measures to reduce my feelings of guilt. I took ice cold showers, I never used central heating, I worked by candlelight. But, no matter what, I was still panicking at the tiniest decisions.
Thankfully, I opened up to a teacher, who was the first person to make me realise I was being ridiculous 😂 He laughed and said, "You are an ant, Edgar. Climate change isn't your fault."
I'm curious if anyone else has gone through something similar. You'd expect, with the rise of "eco-anxiety", that themes like this would become more and more common.
It was interesting, I wasted water for washing and I have a bad sense in my heart...
I feel you so hard. Same age, too. I started to notice the decline in my ocd and mental health around 19-20 when my similar themes took hold
I totally understand this. It’s comforting to know I’m an ant. Thanks :)
I definitely relate to a lot of this! I don't have moral scrupulosity ocd, but I have perfectionism ocd, so I definitely relate to AGONIZING over small decisions (I just check constantly if it's a "perfect" decision instead of a "moral" one). But all types of ocd have similar treatment plans, even if the exposures are different. You need to face what's scaring you, and accept all of your thoughts without judgement (or even welcome them, like you said!). Thanks for this video and all the great stuff you put out!
You are so welcome!!
thankyou for posting this. i came across your channel and this video in particular on a really dark night surrounding this. Thankyou.
This video is SO relatable - it describes my subtype of OCD perfectly!! Thanks so much as always for the great content - it means so much to OCD sufferers like myself!! I think it also ties perfectly into relationship OCD - because I have so many doubts about being a good/bad person when it comes to relationships, especially friendships!!
Thank you for your kind words! I am so glad you enjoyed the video.
Thank you for sharing this. I felt really good after you shared this. I understood myself
Wow, I feel so seen! So many helpful points. Thank you so much for the work you do. I needed this today :)
I'm so glad this was able to help you today. 💜
Thank you. This helps so very much. I have struggled with this very thing for many years.
Great video! And not discussed a lot on the internet!
You explained my life in every colour there is. Thank you
This is me. Oh dear. Thank you. You are so helpful.
Thank you Nate for doing those videos! I noticed my ocd comes back/gets worse when I'm in stress.. it helps me to remind myself that it is the ocd popping up and complicating things.
Of course!
Exactly what I have!! Thanks Nate for all those explanations!!😍❤️
You're so welcome!
Thank you so much!! You have helped me so much in my darkest moments of despair
I'm so glad! This means so much to me.
All. The. Time. I always check what other people think and feel to see what "the right thought is" and if people are divided, its just pure panic because then my thoughts will be wrong no matter what i choose.
I am so happy Nathan made a video about this! I was so worried that I was a bad person just because I was questioning the laws about the age of consent and maybe if I was agreeing with them when it was a lower age. I think I suffer with pocd and I feel like my views are changing in a negative way. Maybe I agree with the view, maybe not…🙂
Maybe, maybe not! You've got this!
Thanks Nat! I couldn't thank u less I got no words as always...
You are so welcome!
I have moral and religious scrupulosity. ERP has been an excellent tool along with medication and neurofeedback for my recovery. The insight you share, especially the false alarm and broken compass allusions are so helpful. Our rational minds know this stuff, but our OCD needs to be shown who's boss sometimes.
Thanks for sharing! OCD does need to know who's the boss! You're going to show them! 😉
Can you please share more about your own experience with a neurofeedback?
I’ve been waiting for this video. It’s usually always about religion. Like you said, my thing is that I don’t want to not care if I’m a good person.
so well explained 🙏🏼.
This is extremely helpful. Thank you
❤ I just wanted to tell you that today I am unsubscribing myself to your channel, because I am healed from OCD , and so much of that is because of you, thank you Mr. Peterson!
Perfect timing for me, today i needed this video, wow ! Thanks...
I'm so glad this came at the right time! 💜I wish you the best!
This video describes me to perfection, im struggleing from almost 2 months with instrusive thoughts expecially about immoral or violent topics.
And if i dont feel disgusted, or very bad in som way about that this means that i could possibly douing that action even if have no emotional reaction.
And this is a real torture because this scares me and to reassure me i say to myself "dont worry your toughs arent that bad even if you attuate them" but they are, is just my morale compass that seems kinda numb i mean its not working at all, its like im feeling empathy for evils and not for the victims or goods.
This makes me feel so wrong, because i always trusted my judjment skills but sice this thing kicked in not anymore and makes me suffer so much, also because from what i know i never been a real violent person , full of hate.
But now im always checking out how ik feeling looking at innocent, like a baby or a family member and if i dont feel absolutley nothing its ok, but it never is, i always feel something like anxiety and this brings me fear because that anxiety is recognised like wrong and inappropriate also because it became difficoult to recognise emotions because im always hoping that is not some sort of attraction or violent istinct, but ive lost (due to fear and anxiety i guess) my lucidity i understanding my feeling if they are normal or not.
So i hope im not the only one from a side and beeing it because you know, its bad...
Now thumbnail is even more accurate !
This. Is my biggest struggle in life. I take up the problems on the world and if i do anything bad im a bad bad bad person who doesnt deserve to live. Ruminating right now on a choice where i struggle with "if hang out with them this they might get covid" "if i leave them Alone something bad might happen"
I left them Alone and im scared now
Please do a video on agnostic people, who have obsessions around being skeptical about the existence of God and uncertainty of punishment.
This channel is great. It helps. I honestly wish the psychiatrists and psychologists I've spoken to would have suggested I might have OCD traits, because constantly treating these thoughts and feelings like they're my fault (what I made of them, not the professionals) was so, so exhausting. Now training to distance myself a bit and work on treatment. I want to be a good person so so bad and try to treat my environment how they deserve to be treated, but it can go too far to the point of self-censorship and trying to suppress/dismiss my true feelings. Which can be so destructive in the long run.
I love your content so much
Yeah I think I have ocd and it might have started when I was 15 where I ruminated about how when I was in elementary school, I thought it would be funny to wake my friend up with a kiss on the lips once at a sleepover, because we’d laughed about that happening the night before and I was terrified that I’d abused my friend. I would like- obsess over how old I was and I just couldn’t remember and I was scared that the problems my friend has today were my fault, and it’s still something that I’m scared to talk about, because I would never forgive myself if truly traumatised my friend, but honestly it’s getting better and although it is terrifying going outside with this uncertainty as I’m applying the advice online for ocd I am seeing what happened as less and less bad, so thank you for posting about this.
... I have an immediate family member with ocd and when I was suffering from my extreme anxiety I didn’t really think that I had ocd, because I didn’t think I had any compulsions, but I did have awful intrusive thoughts and I would obsess over a specific thing from the past and possibilities in the future for hours and hours every day and I thought I would be put in prison if I ever told anyone about them.
Great video. This is my greatest ocd struggle.
It's great to hear from you Chad! I hope you're doing well!
@@ocdandanxiety Thanks!
I truly wish I could get therapy from you. I’ve been in such Torture and pain for so long.
I’m just exhausted beyond description.
This was really helpful!
Yesssss!! I'm glad you liked it!
I have experienced this all, but finally overcome completely ♥️♥️
Yup, 100% this is me. Thanks for video.😁
You’re welcome 😊
The anxiety and sheer panic I have with this
You are really helpful thanks!
2:20 - 100% Honest at all times
2:33 - Thinking about the past
6:40 - Lying
My moral ocd trapped me in my beliefs and emotions. It was crazy making. It was like whirlpool.
Would you mind giving examples please thank you 😊
Thank u sm! This video really helped
Im gonna try it! Thanks man!
thank you from Brazil !!!
I’m 43 and my entire life has been driven by obsessing and working to do various self applied programs to finally become a good person. Agonizing and second guessing every decision. Ruminating and replaying interactions. Waking up every morning feeling an impending sense of doom. Introspecting to find reasons for my unease or things I can do to address it. Waiting for people around me to realize what an awful person or fraud I am. Being slow at work because I apply this vigilance and questioning to everything. I am exhausted. I became Christian and that is actually what made me realize I had moral ocd because the theology is inconsistent with this.
It’s hard to accept things. It’s exhausting to struggle with this. I not only judge myself but if I hear something about a musician I like, even if it’s not proven it’s enough for me to judge them and stop listening to them. I also suffer from bad depression and I think the ocd is related too to it
It’s so hard. My existence feels intrusive.
Cheers Nate ❤️
It's so dumb but I'll be having these very detailed day dreams in my head and randomly my brain will imagine a scenario where I do something bad and I will feel like an evil person and I punish myself when I didn't even do anything.
I can relate so so so much!!!
Covid made me get so much moral ocd with contamination themes (never had contamination part ocd before, but now its super anxious about possible infektion someone, especially as I did infect someone and she ended up fight for her life in hospital
I've lost my capacity to write about my feelings due to this. I can't feel strong emotions for eight years now, due to doubting myself and thinking that someone else already did it. I feel I'm writing nothing worthy. It has developed into self-hate.
I have this
Thanks for helping!!
Man I just love you man❤️ you are a real life Hero and I one day want to help people just like you and bring glory to GOD 🙏🏽✝️
Wow, thank you so much!
Thank you!! 👏👏👏
You are so welcome!
The problem I run into is even when I dismiss the thought, I feel like I'm becoming complicit in whatever my brain is worried about ("silence is violence") and that the people around me are judging me for not doing enough to right the wrong. The "not trying hard enough" (choosing acceptance) becomes proof that my morals have become corrupted and that I'm complicit in societal evils. And even if I tell myself that it's just the OCD, my emotional brain is still convinced that my friends will shame and abandon me for what I have done/not done because "I should have known better." And I feel like I can't seek reassurance from them because then they will know what I have done/not done and it will turn from fear to reality.
Yep, i managed to cope with it by admitting that i may be an evil person.
Now let's see what OCD will do now.
Anxiety 24/7 that something bad will happen to me.
Thank you so much!
You're welcome!
Hope your videos help mee, having this kind of OCD is terrible , can live like this ..is hard really hard ! I been strangling with OCD for years
Feeling guilt and overanalysing everything is destroying me, the anxiety that’s caused by feeling I’ve done something wrong morally is enough to make me panic and deeply depressed even if rationally I know I’ve not done anything wrong but then on some level I feel bad about myself and question if I’m a good person. Its exhausting and very difficult
Nice video
Thank you!
Thank you ❤
Thank you so much
I just recently had to sever ties with a friend who had this exact problem. He couldn’t understand the discernment between black and white vs grey thinking towards moral issues, even after I tried reasoning with him multiple times.
Have you made any videos on agoraphobia? When my ocd and anxiety started, I just avoided everything. Now I feel terrified of being places alone or far away alone.
Ohhh I need to make one on this! I hope you can fee better.
thank you very muchhhhh
This is helping me
Yesss! I love to hear that! You're awesome!
@@ocdandanxiety i am feeling so amazed that you replyed btw i am from india
As an ex-Christian, I really recommend just completely letting go of religion for anyone willing to try. All religions on earth were created to control human behavior, and all rigid systems of shame and control like religion can aggravate OCD. It was so freeing for me to finally let go of the moral standards other people had imposed on me and live by my own moral standards free of the constant fear of eternal punishment.
I feel like it depends on the Christianity. I think a loving, forgiving God who died to save the worst of ppl because he loves everyone... a God who loves you even when your brain tells you that you are unlovable... that can really encourage ppl. But a lot of churches are legalistic so maybe it's about finding the right one.
@@audreyandremington5265 I'm sorry if I came across as harsh. I understand that a lot of people find peace in faith. I don't think think I can ever find peace in faith again because the same parents who told me to trust in god's love are the same people who controlled so much of my life and made me feel worthless. The pressure to be a perfect student almost made me suicidal, and "unChristian" thoughts made me feel constantly disgusted with myself. I became so alienated from people my age because I couldn't separate Christianity from fundamentalism anymore. I'm glad it sounds like you've found a church that brings you peace. I think it comes down to making sure individuals control their own faith - even in church environments.
@MachFiveFalcon not at all! I'm sorry that was your experience, and I'm sure other ppl have experienced that as well. I just wanted to share a different viewpoint because ik having faith in God can help people in hard times. But some churches are p bad
@@audreyandremington5265 Thank you! I really appreciate it. I might be open to going to a liberal church (not focused on politics - just the less dogmatic aspect). I've also heard some good things about Unitarian Universalists!
I think what’s difficult here is we are taught to take every thought captive when in all actuality taking everything thought captive does not mean to analyze, fight or attack it with scripture but means to ignore it and not give it power. That is the task for me is not to do the above mentioned when facing something I am questioning morally.