I haven't been diagnosed, but I do obsessively peel away at my heels and nails. It started at my fingers, and when my parents found out I started to peel at my feet and wear socks to hide the red skin. I let one heel heal while the other gets scratched. So I can just show that heeling one to them.
I do this SO MUCH (I have yet to receive a diagnosis) so if i'm not 'worrying' about it I make myself worry that i'm not worrying. *intrusive thought* me: 'okay, thats fine!' (5 seconds passes) 'wait, you said thats fine, why are you relaxed, your not phased by that? theres OBVIOUSLY something wrong' and then it just continues lol. (also if you see this and you know me, not you didn't)
@@ocdandanxiety how does it help me by not being reassured? When I dont get reassured and I sit in the anxiety/doubts....does that help me learn to not be so afraid of it and wig out?? I'm very new to all of this. Only 1 week ago I discovered ROCD and boy I been battling for years
My sneakiest compulsion is avoidance. It's so hard cuz I don't even realize I'm doing it a lot of the time!! But my theme for 2023 is to grow my COURAGE so let's gooooooo doing scary things!
ironically, I keep coming back to this video (and others) for reassurance that my seeking of reassurance is actually related to OCD since I have ruminations that I am just faking the whole thing or making a big fuss out of nothing....oh dear
It’s ok, you guys. Everyone has intrusive thoughts - the solution is not to identify with the thought. Just let it drift on by like a bird flying by in the sky
I sleep with my light on because every time i turn it off I get incessant intrusive thoughts about ghosts and monsters and horrific events ✌️ also I use 5 or 6 blankets and have a perimeter of pillows all around my bed. God it seems so ridiculous when I type it out. I'm an adult??
This reminds me of my old bed. I had pillows and blankets shoved down the side of the bed where the wall was so spiders couldn’t get up it in the night and onto me. I knew there was still the other side they could get up but at least it was only one side 😂
Brooo, I get those intrusive thoughts of monsters too... I don’t sleep with all those blankets and pillows but I do usually only sleep with pants no matter how hot it is cuz I’m scared of my legs that have sat on toilet seats contaminating my bed
Mental checking is such a sneaky compulsion that I deal with! I mentally check my feelings and thoughts about certain things over and over again and it takes up a lot of time--I'm working on it with ERP (and not doing mental checking and other compulsions during ERP)!
I have Peripheral Staring OCD Is this mental compulsion or intrusive thoughts?: "Did I look at them inappropriately?". "Are they judging me?". "Did my eye dart over there?". "Are they thinking Im a creep?".
A lot of my OCD revolves around emetophobia. I started doing something as a sneaky way to "check". If we were at a playdate and someone was sick or I heard about someone sick, I would contact them later to ask how they or their kid was. Of course I did genuinely care, but my motive was definitely to get reassurance on whether or not I need to be concerned. Yes, my friends and family have definitely started keeping information from me for fear of setting off my anxiety. It comes from a place of love, and I do appreciate that. But when I find out someone was sick and they specifically didn't tell me, it actually makes me more anxious!
Thanks for sharing your experiences. That's a good example of a sneaky compulsion. I hope you can find some relief from what you go through. If you haven't already, make sure you check out my emetophobia video. 😃
Thanks for sharing your experiences. That's a good example of a sneaky compulsion. I hope you can find some relief from what you go through. If you haven't already, make sure you check out my emetophobia video. 😃
@@ocdandanxiety I have been doing EMDR therapy for a couple years and it's helped me a lot. I didn't realize you had an emet video! Off to watch it now 🏃♀️
having rOCD, I often ask my partner seemingly "normal" questions like "what music did you listen to growing up?" but they are actually me trying to get a specific answer from him to reassure me (like in this case for example, worrying that we aren't similar enough in music taste) its soooo shit and he can sense that there's pressure on the question quite a lot of the time which is not nice for him :(
It's also not nice for you, feeling bad for him. But you're in a relationship and that's what your partner is there for, you're in it together. You're doing your best and you care.
God almighty, being OCD and having the constant urge for reassurance and not getting it from someone trained on how to help someone with OCD is like the ultimate form of precieved-torture for the OCD individual.
I’ve just started researching ocd, and I know you can never self diagnose, but this is the first time I’m finding people who act, think, or do the things I’ve hidden doing for years... I’m trying not to just google the hell out of this even though I’m here from doing that, I should find a professional for answers. Also, Why are you reading my thoughts and why do I hate it??? This whole video. Oh god 👀 I’m getting called out so much as I’m writing this and I do not know what to think right now
@@vasundharad5353 righhhhtt?! Like I wanted to respond to every point in this, but had no words (for once). But it’s comforting in a way, cause we’re not the only ones with brains like that, which is helpful to know.
Late comment, but it’s okay to do research on a mental illness you may think you have. Especially since therapy and mental health education isn’t available to everyone. A lot of people can’t afford it or don’t even notice they have mental health issues until it’s too late. So there’s nothing wrong with doing research if you suspect you have something and even if you don’t have OCD and another mental illness. That’s fine atleast you know you have something else and is seeking help. There’s nothing wrong with trying to get help
So true I just suddenly searched about my habits like continuously thinking and imaging scenarios,making imaginary conversation and found about ocd and came to solve it in TH-cam...it is so relatable.... whenever I go to study l get super stressed and I walk around thinking how to study and make plans and preparations rather than actually studying.It happens without even realising 😢 also I come to phone all the time and also need reassurance from others.
This video got me thinking: Does OCD ever really go away? I was never diagnosed in middle school and high school because I never went to get professional help, but I am 100% sure I had it then. Now, it's died down (I thought my way through it and figured out what my thoughts really were), but I just assumed it went away. However watching this I think my old OCD manifests itself in different ways now - not as difficult to manage (like checking a hundred times to make sure no one would be crushed by my door,) but still obsessive and compulsive in more socially understandable ways. Is it like other mental illnesses where it never truly goes away but it simply becomes better managed? Edit: I found out, 3 years later. It never goes away. I entered my first relationship a year ago, so guess which subset I’m dealing with. 🤪
I think general ocd doesn’t go away, but it can leave you without any horrible signs, what you might have experienced might have been just some themes of ocd. I guess like when someone has a depressive episode. But I am no professional so..
My first OCD thoughts manifested at age 18. Harm and religious OCD and it was terrible, I had panic attacks, nauseous. Suffered for months. I didn't go to therapy....but used coping mechanisms to deal with it and they actually went away. For 10 years I was happy and going about my life no problem. Intrusive Thoughts come around but they weren't strong enough to stick. Probably because I thought I had the worse OCD themes before and got over them. But recently this year in June I got a horrible Thought and it stuck and it's become a theme I learned now is POCD. And I hate it so much. Because it seems worse than before. This truly messed me up. I went tk therapy for the first two months but stopped because it was expensive. But I glad I went. I joined forums to deal with it. It's helping but sometimes it feels like I'm back to square 1. I remember the days where I was happy and carefree, but now I'm a mess. Prayer, meditation are helping little by little atleast. And I'll have to help my logical rational side of my brain push through. Honestly with god's help I want to come out of this. 🙏
It never goes away unfortunately. But there are times when it does get better. Think of it like having your TV on. Sometimes you just have it on for background noise. Now think of the worst as turning up that volume to full blast. That's how it is. Sometimes it's just quieter, and that can last weeks, months, even years. The obsessions and compulsions can also take different forms. Some forms are more benign, while others are all-consumimg and will ruin your life.
Jesus knows and I will lift you up in prayer if you have any questions concerning My Lord please ask. I too have suffered from intrusive thoughts and He is lifting me out of this pit as He did for King David. Shalom
After watching your vids I've noticed myself doing it in my journalling trying to reassure myself by reasoning out my stories and writing the same scenarios out over and over trying to make sense of it.. and yes also telling other people.. and if someone doesn't respond fast enough I tell another and another and another until like ten people are reassuring me.. yeesh
I saw you for the 1st time tonite and you made me actually laugh and quit thinking and worrying about my shallow breathing!! Thank you, you are awesome!
I’ll do that thing you mentioned, telling stories about things I’ve felt, often I will do this thing to my friends that I frame as simply “posing a hypothetical” and end up asking something I need reassurance on to compare their responses to how I feel
I’ve been doing this I feel like. The issue is, I know that no matter how much reassurance I feel after seeing people’s reactions, or seeing how liberating it feels after I speak with someone well.... a few minutes/hours later, I still feel an intense amount of anxiety.
I struggled from this for over a month and I have to say that these videos helped me immensely. If this happened over night, it is important to understand that this is a fear, it is an irrational thought. Though the thoughts might scare you and make you believe you're someone you're not, think about who you were a day before this onset. Get your life back. This is HOCD, it exists, but you can fight it.
Omg, I found this video to try to help myself feel better about something I'm feeling very anxious about. I'm trying to resist asking for reassurance, but I am still trying to find solutions instead of panicking, I didn't realize that running possible solutions endlessly through my mind is a form of OCD and can also cause more anxiety. I never thought of my rumination as OCD, this was helpful!
Ugh, so great. I finished a ERP treatment a couple months ago and all was going well but now I'm slipping... and my brain is telling me "this isn't OCD, this is real." I used to do a lot of sneaky compulsions, I would do something I called "pseudo confess" where I would walk around all mopey until someone asked me what was wrong and justify the confession. And I used to share my stories all the time, my new therapist always ignored me because she was trained so well. Right now I'm in that "if I tell I'll go to the cops" phase which is so so hard to ignore. And I know watching videos and reading about OCD can even be a bit compulsive for me because I think I'm doing ERP wrong and have to figure out the right way.
Same thing happening here.😭 I've been doing great for two months but then I got triggered and now I'm spiralling and getting a different theme within a theme 😭
I often get hooked with thoughts about if I'm doing ERP wrong. I'm tempted to spend all of my free time watching videos and doing things to make sure I'm doing it right. And when I give in to compulsions, and it interferes with my life, I use that to justify my actions. Like look, you should spend all your time figuring this out because it's affecting your life so much
Thank you for your videos. I’ve been confronting my dermatillomania, and it’s been extremely stressful. I’m just in the first few phases of really noticing the frequency of my behaviors. And it’s... a lot. Hard to take in. Can’t imagine what life would be like if I didn’t have this disorder.
My parents are always saying things like "that's okay honey, don't feel guilty about it". But, I've realized that they raised me to be dependant on it to manipulate me into become compliant, so I'm more sensitive to them telling me I'm selfish and thoughtless when I do something the disagree with. Since I've become aware of that, I haven't been asking them for any reassurance and now I'm going to try to ask them not to. They also like to say "honey, that makes us so happy you're making friends" and it just makes me feel responsible for their happiness.
Really interesting video! I was diagnosed with OCD when I started having panic attacks in highschool. To me, it was just anxiety, but the compulsions were involuntary movements, like holding on to my pants so I could push and gasp for a bigger breath. I resumed Escitalopram today because I can't take these episodes anymore. Last night I had terrible episode and somehow I was still picking up hairs from the floor, I ended up vacuuming and mopping the bathroom floor, and this was "proof" to me that I am still okay, I am still functional. If I didn't have Clonazepam in moments like that where I can't seem to find the right soothing behavior, I feel like I would hyperventilate until I pass out. Thankfully I have medication to help.
i have a horrific health history (gaslit by doctors which has lead to this cycle of ocd for health issues) and my constant googling and forum participation is 100% compulsion driven! its like if im sitting here not googlign what is causing my health problems, that elevates my anxiety because im not working on solving the problem, but then googling stresses me out, and i cant stop the googling until i read something that gives me hope, gives me that temporary relief, and then i stop. but a few hours later, the cycle starts again.
Thank you so much for all of your videos! Ive been struggling for the past few days and now I know its the way Im reacting to my thoughts and trying to fix them or to agrue with them. Im agreeing with the bully instead of fighting with it :) Im here in Utah and I actually tried calling your office to make an appointment with you! Ive been to therapy 2 times years ago and it didnt do much. Thank you again!
Yes, I need to learn that it's ok to be uncertain and when an immediate actual threat in front of me or problem is actually there I can deal with it but if it'd just a thought that's not actually right in front of me to live uncertain and to stop wondering or worrying about "what if it is real, what if I'm ignoring s real threat" my brain will scare me with that or any other anxious threat and staying uncertain is very uncomfortable at first but it does work long term. Thank you Nathan you have helped me so much and I'm just beginning my ocd recovery. I've struggled with it since I was so young and only been in therapy for a short time. Like you've said I believe this therapist was good but not teianed for specific ERP for OCD so she didn't really know how to help me in that aspect. But now I'm finally trying to recovery and do something about it. Thank you for making this happen and helping me along my journey to feel a sense of hope
It’s especially fun when you think you might have OCD and a couple other things but someone has told you for years you don’t and you can’t blame your actions on those things. So long story short I don’t think I have OCD. But I struggle in my head so hard thinking I do but also don’t. It’s a blast
Accepting thought probably would freak your OCD out and seperating yourself from it can help to see that you're actually just freaking it out instead of yourself.
For me it took practice - the more I confronted the fear of accepting a certain thought for what it is and the fear of not following through with my compulsions, the more I was able to get a handle on my life
For me I have OCD,and bipolar .I confront everything until its untangled and move on .if things come into my mind I say okay that wasn't great ,now what .with everything going around on a wheel you can break the cycle .but it's taken me years to control with medication at first now with exercise proper diet and lots of practice ..I laugh sometimes at some of the worst manifestations ,which dilutes the situation ..I used to feel ashamed and fearful ,not anymore it is what is .
Yes, it is tricky. But remember don’t believe everything you think! I used to have this, but I overcame it, you can too! My therapist said that I needed to practice mindfulness. So, maybe it’ll help you, meditate on a daily. It really helps bring your mind at peace and away from all those stressful thoughts. Remember, don’t give up! Dont let your mind win, it’s just a stupid, worthless thought.
Mine is making sure I remembers everything, who owns this, I'm I owing someone, this is not mine I need to give it to the owner, and if I don't get to remember the owner I will be in a lot of problems with my brain because it will keep thinking until it get what it's looking for.
I am very fortunate to have my mother. From this video I realized that she is usually able to tell when I ask her something sneakily. She knows me so well that she usually knows exactly what I’m worrying about 😂
Think I’m trapped in CONSTANT problem solving. I can miss sleeping I’ll solve but still not doing actions. Which is apparently pretty smart but I won’t get relaxed UNTIL it’s solved ....hmm now I’d love to ask if it’s OCD 😅
Oh man... I never really thought about that. Sometimes I do this, avoiding the topics or something but being unspecific and kind of reassuring myself aloud "It's a loop, it's OCD" and seeing the other person nod or something. I'll really have to keep a watch out for that, try to keep it in my head and rob it of power!
Thanks for the video! I have pretty compulsive tendencies regarding health anxiety, googling symptoms, etc. Reading more about OCD, which i know is itself engaging that compulsion (feels like OCDception!) I can relate to a lot of the behaviors. But how do I distinguish between asking about OCD to get a diagnosis, and asking for reassurance? Is seeking out a diagnosis something I should even bother doing?
If we sit with the anxiety long enough, how do we know it will improve? For me, reassurance seeking is the only way I feel any sort of relief. Otherwise, I feel like I will spiral into depression the more I lean into the anxiety.
After 20 years. I sat still. And the dread hit. Holy. Ignoring it makes sense. Being hyper vigilant is my brains excuse to why im so selfishly clever, as soon as reality was presented i feel like hell
I got diagnosed with OCD when I was 15 and now I’m almost 21 and only now realizing how much OCD consumes my life in ways I never realized 🥲 so many things I thought were “normal” or my “personality” weren’t…. And it’s so miserable. Does it ever get better? I’m trying so hard to make it better… but it just hurts
OCD steals your life.The older you get you realise that,and also life is fleeting and not to be wasted.You never know what's around the corner. Concentrate on something outside of your self.It's hard but you can do it.21 is a fantastic age ,you have many wonderful life experiences ahead of you.I wish you knew what i know now in my 50s and i wish i could go back to being 21 again with all the knowledge of life.Go and have fun and stop worrying about all this small stuff.Do things you enjoy.Live a wonderful life.Peace🕊
I sometimes get caught up in wondering if certain concerns I have are part of my already diagnosed OCD. Like, 'oh I don't hear this talked about often in relation to OCD, so is this specific concern actually part of my OCD?' It definitely creates a vicious cycle.
I kind of wanna ask, what's an example of a sneaky compulsion for ROCD . . . but then, I'm like - wait, am I asking that because I want my OCD to be validated, thus asking for examples of sneaky compulsions becomes a sneaky compulsion???
Hi My name is Debbie and I Love your videos very truthful with Ocd what your saying I have been dealing with this problem I’m going to start now try my hardest to resist how I see it is all the millions of compulsions I have did it’s so obvious ocd still with me so that’s not the answer Thanks so much Nathan😊
If we talk to someone about how youre feeling, and thats reassurance seeking, how do we not do that? It feels good to talk about it and share my struggle. But I dont seek their answer, it just feels good to unburden myself.
Oh my goodness, Bless you. I didn’t even know obsessing about questions I make myself until I have a definite answer was a part of OCD. I definitely need to get treated for that 😂😂 Thanks!!
Yes, I’ve caught myself doing that. Many times I will check something when I am quite sure that my loved ones aren’t paying attention. Otherwise they know what I’m doing and they’ll call me out for it, which is what they should do. Now that I’m learning some coping skills. I’m learning to try not to seek that sneaky reassurance because I know that reassurance is not helping anything. Just this morning I was getting ready to face a situation with what I knew was going to be a triggering event. My wife is my rock and she will do anything to help me, but I asked her politely to please not offer me the reassurance that we know I was likely to seek in that situation and I actually had a much better day because of it.
Sometimes I feel like I get tricked by my head to do mental compulsions. I go into the day with the mindset of “I will try not to do any compulsions today” but when it comes time to put it to practice I sometimes fail and only recognize the compulsions later. Is it better that I try to recognize my compulsions in the moment? I like how you demonstrated that in the video. For example if I saw a picture of a couple looking happy on Instagram I could describe the compulsion to myself like “I really want to go over my relationship and compare it to theirs right now” and then prevent myself from doing this? Ive tried doing this today.
Yep! If we look at our motivation for why we do what we do you can typically see that the want for a compulsion will try to convince the person that it's something they need to do. I usually say to pick one compulsion and focus on that to see if it can be whittled down.
Hey, thanks for your help! Can you also do a video about compulsions before bedtime? These thoughts and compulsions give me anxiety and insomnia if i don t do them. Thanks!
I do this a lot. I have always tried to hide the fact I have OCD, so asking people things without them knowing I'm trying to get reassurance, is almost second nature. Watching your videos has made me realise I have to take more responsibility and stop doing that. Thank you.
I am constantly reassuring myself that I am heterosexual. If I don't say this word or think about my past crushes or any interaction with girls at all, my mind tells me that I am homosexual and I am again in a cycle of anxiety. Besides that, I am also reading the stories of other sufferers to reassure myself that it is HOCD and not repressed sexuality. I need to stop this but sometimes I slip in such inner monologues without recognizing it.
Sir please answer me.. I have ocd but the most specific thing that makes situation worst is when I see or listen someone doing expectorating, spiting i feel very uncomfortable after that until I spit or wash mouth And it's like positive feedback back for sustaining my ocd continue because I can't control other doing this I am taking medicine like Fluxatine etc but This situation is still same as before, my ocd is many years old how to overcome this particular situation of ocd?
I do it so bad that I can't get things done because it revolves around sequences of arranging things in parallel with the series of events in comparison with the right thought before it happens eventually recalling them by reacting them out to correct the order with the correct thought in order to continue with my tasks that I must get done or,,,, well I could go on but there's never wnought time to explain this you couldn't imagine how many fines I've had to pay and how so many things are pending right now that I still haven't taken care of because of my compulsions that holde back
Yes, i have definitely done sneaky compulsions. I often spew the contents of my thoughts to my family members in an attempt to get them to say "that's ridiculous" or "that's ocd!"
thank you! i'm currently with a problem, performing compulsions searching in forums a certainly about my career choice, and it is just ruining me now. I just can't see how to stop it, is day after day. But now i'm saying no more.
My husband reassures me sometimes when I’m having a really bad day - I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it I imagine he just feels bad watching me suffer. But there are def times I cling on to his words knowing I shouldn’t be :/ I’ll feel the relief rush in and know that I should undo it but sometimes I don’t and I just allow it and it’s not until a few hours of rumination later I realize I mad the wrong choice!
I’m noticing my compulsions now and holy crap I have so many sneaky ones. But I call them out which is good and a stepping stone so I’ll take it. I do this one where if a specific thing is stressing me out and I see a video about it online, instead of pretending like I don’t see it, I watch it! And guess what? 10/10 times the video doesn’t make me feel any worse. See, brain? No threat.
Hi Nathan I love your videos so much. I have ocd about having everything in my life perfect especially my body and my house, and I want to make my house perfectly decorated but it never feels "perfect" and so it feels like I'm chasing the sun because on the road to healing, I'm learning that nothing is ever going to be perfect in life, but it's extremely hard for my brain to accept right now because giving into "imperfect" makes me feel like I have no control in my life. And no sort of control or black and white, makes me feel terribly depressed because I want control from at least one aspect of my life but everything feels like a messy gray area and I hate it! Could you do a video on perfectionism or topics related to this feeling?
@OCD and Anxiety How do you differentiate between giving normal, human reassurance - soothing children or partner etc vs withholding it because your video suggests that seeking/providing reassurance is just a bad thing? If it’s purely developmental - then where is the line? I’m a bit confused by this video - I could phrase this question in a myriad of ways and your logic would basically allow for zero answer on the basis of ‘its a sneaky reassurance seeking’ even if it’s not. There’s a flaw in your reasoning here or you’re just not explaining it adequately. For example how can you differentiate between a curious/challenging comment and a ‘sneaky ocd’ comment? What if I’m an academic seeking clarification for research purposes? Where is the line between ‘correcting ocd’ and stifling someone’s natural (dare I say it) genius or human need for some comfort/reassurance? What does health reassurance vs ocd reassurance seeking look like? Is it just the repetitive element or is all reassurance seeking unhealthy? Are you offering helpful advice or projecting a particular style of thinking and being onto others?
Is anyone else watching Nathan as a compulsion like I am? I just recently discovered that I may have OCD and I’m trying to figure it out which is another terrible thing to do but learning is the first step!
I’ve done a lot of this sneaky stuff without even realizing it I think. To be fair though, I get so entrenched in my day to day cycles and mental health struggles some days, that I often forget what’s normal and what’s not sometimes and my brain and body run on autopilot.
I also oftentimes have issues talking about ocd with my therapist because I feel very shameful and uncertain about it, but I am constantly sneakily seeking reassurance from outside sources and people around me. I feel like I can’t talk about this stuff with my therapist until I know for sure what I’m doing is ocd and valid issues, which ends up never happening of course.
We are like the lords of loaded questions. Reassurance is the seed of codependency. Ocd is the very most extreme example of it. Like rn im trying to decide on seeing my friend perform or taking an overpriced lyft that i cant afford to get some klonopins/xans that i cant afford. Hospitals dont help cuz they CAN lock u up there. I dont know anyone in texas that specializes in exposure therapy (yet)
I guess... I probably have some OCD that stems from anxiety because I used to obsess over the fact that me, or my parents and family and friends are gonna die in their sleep... so now every time I say goodnight I say “goodnight, sleep well, I love you!” so that whatever happens, the last thing I said to them was positive and loving. And when I don’t, I can’t sleep until I do. So... I can’t see why that’s necessarily a bad thing...? (Even as I’m writing this I’m trying to find ways to make it seem like I’m not looking for feedback fRICCCKKKKKK)
This kinda confused me, i've been going to therapy for a couple of months and although i dont want to diagnose myself and i have done a lot of progress, i've been doing reseach about my thoughts and really really think i have ocd, and i know if got diagnosed with it it would mean exactly what you said it would, but i don't think it would impact me negatively or that i would keep seeking reassurance after that, i feel like it would actually help me "make peace" with my thoughts and stop me from ruminating. So should i ask my therapist if i have ocd? since i've been doing erp without even knowing what it was maybe she has not told me for a reason?
Honestly from a person who has been diagnosed with it, it made me feel so much less guilt and helped me to separate me and my feelings from my evil ocd brain knowing that it was why I felt that way? Idk if that helps at all but good luck x
This is such a paradox! So if I ask someone, "Do I have OCD?" they are not allowed to answer me because then they would be giving me assurance, but that means no one can ever answer me ever. That means normal questions can never be answered. I'm confused.
There is a difference in getting a diagnosis of OCD and someone using it as reassurance. If someone is asking with extreme anxiety and the urgency to know right now if it's OCD.....it's OCD. 😃
At 4:24 triggered me to about how my kid doesn't ever talk me about specific concern he is having instead it's always about something he wants but never a normal conversation. Because when I initiate one he doesn't value it or participate with intellectual curiosity. I am probably not making any sense.
Hi Nathan! I believe I have OCD and am getting a referral to a therapist on Friday! But I have a question. Recently I broke up with my boyfriend, and a few weeks later began obsessing about my sexuality and developed hocd ( the two are unrelated). I feel sad about my ended relationship and often cry and get upset about, like most people do when they're upset, but my brain automatically goes "see! You're crying over a boy! You're not gay! This is good!" And i feel reassured for a bit, vut I never purposely make myself upset to get that reassurance, it just happens and the reassurance comes along with it? Does this count as a compulsion? And if so how do I stop it? It foes the other way too, if I'm in a good mood, or just have a good day, I'll get thoughts like "youre happy now but you were upset and crying over the break up this morning/last night/ a few days ago? That means you didn't really care about him at all, you used him as a way to deny the fact you're gay/ lie to other people." And i feel the need to argue with myself, or even feel the urge to make myself sad and ruin my good mood just to soothe my anxiety. To 'prove' the thought is wrong. I dont know how to stop this reassurance. I just naturally miss my ex and feel sad about the relationship ending, which is normal, but i don't want it to become a compulsion to give me reassurance? But I also think I need to process my break up to move on from it. Its so tricky and exhausting dealing with both of these things at the same time. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi! Thanks so much for answering my question I sent you a few days ago. I was wondering if I notice my daughter who is an adult with OCD doing a compulsion when she has no idea I saw or heard her, should I "call" her out and remind her how this could set her back or do I ignore it because I wasn't with her when I witnessed it? Thank you so much in advance.
Thats a good question. It seems like each experience is different. I would try to have a conversation and see if you can get approval to talk about their compulsions and the purpose for it. Typically, calling out someone's compulsion may make them angry or feel guilt. If they are willing to do treatment, then it can be helpful part of treatment to help them be aware.
What do you suggest one do when you have ocd emetophobia and you put yourself through facing your fears and telling yourself ok go puke it’s nothing life moves on. Then you actually go puke. Then what? Live through it and keep doing it?
Thank you for your videos! quick question: what if I start feeling anxious about normal thoughts and start doing compulsions on them because I give the thoughts a certain bad meaning?
Have you caught yourself doing "Sneaky Compulsions"? Now is the time to come clean 🤪 -- What sneaky compulsions have you done?
Please help me
I do that too much but I do not have any doctors around her so can some one help me
@@mikiyasuzmiki4939 is it ocd that I always fear forgetting something I need to do
@@ruwi5683 I think bro yap
I haven't been diagnosed, but I do obsessively peel away at my heels and nails. It started at my fingers, and when my parents found out I started to peel at my feet and wear socks to hide the red skin. I let one heel heal while the other gets scratched. So I can just show that heeling one to them.
I always want answers to my thoughts. So I google non-stop.
Same. I'm doing that right now about ocd
Me too
That’s exactly what I do. The urge to google is so strong I don’t know how to stop
Me too ..always googling
Dude yes
I often feels anxious about not feeling anxious enough. My mind is like: "if you are not anxious, then maybe you don't have OCD"
Joel Fortier omg that’s literally me. That’s how mine all started. I wasn’t anxious enough which made me feel like it was true.
Same. I am diagnosed but get to the point I totally doubt it at some points.
Me too
I do this SO MUCH (I have yet to receive a diagnosis) so if i'm not 'worrying' about it I make myself worry that i'm not worrying. *intrusive thought* me: 'okay, thats fine!' (5 seconds passes) 'wait, you said thats fine, why are you relaxed, your not phased by that? theres OBVIOUSLY something wrong' and then it just continues lol. (also if you see this and you know me, not you didn't)
so fucking true man
I'm learning we are not "bad people tryna get good" we are "sick people tryna get well"
I never thought how asking "Do you think this is OCD?" could be reassurance seeking.
Very helpful. Thank you!
Thank you my friend! I'm glad it was helpful for you! 😃
@@ocdandanxiety how does it help me by not being reassured? When I dont get reassured and I sit in the anxiety/doubts....does that help me learn to not be so afraid of it and wig out?? I'm very new to all of this. Only 1 week ago I discovered ROCD and boy I been battling for years
My sneakiest compulsion is avoidance. It's so hard cuz I don't even realize I'm doing it a lot of the time!! But my theme for 2023 is to grow my COURAGE so let's gooooooo doing scary things!
How is the progress❤?
THIS IS ME!!!
The very end was the best part. With OCD, we have to leave our problems unresolved and not try to figure out how to relieve our pain. Tough stuff!
is this really the best way to deal with ocd? Or is it just one method of therapy out of many?
This is the thing that works kognitive behaviour therapy with exposure and response cancelling.😊
I mean this the thing hes talking about...😅
ironically, I keep coming back to this video (and others) for reassurance that my seeking of reassurance is actually related to OCD since I have ruminations that I am just faking the whole thing or making a big fuss out of nothing....oh dear
FOR REAL it’s like when i get intrusive thoughts about intrusive thoughts
ME TOO.
literally me watching this video and being called out at the end for seeking reassurance that i have ocd
😂 very much relate
It’s ok, you guys. Everyone has intrusive thoughts - the solution is not to identify with the thought. Just let it drift on by like a bird flying by in the sky
I sleep with my light on because every time i turn it off I get incessant intrusive thoughts about ghosts and monsters and horrific events ✌️ also I use 5 or 6 blankets and have a perimeter of pillows all around my bed. God it seems so ridiculous when I type it out. I'm an adult??
Umm... I’m not the only one?
This reminds me of my old bed. I had pillows and blankets shoved down the side of the bed where the wall was so spiders couldn’t get up it in the night and onto me. I knew there was still the other side they could get up but at least it was only one side 😂
Brooo, I get those intrusive thoughts of monsters too... I don’t sleep with all those blankets and pillows but I do usually only sleep with pants no matter how hot it is cuz I’m scared of my legs that have sat on toilet seats contaminating my bed
Thank god I’m not the only one, I thought I was going crazy
@@peterthehorseishere2132 ur definitely not,, also i luv the Shinso profile pic
Mental checking is such a sneaky compulsion that I deal with! I mentally check my feelings and thoughts about certain things over and over again and it takes up a lot of time--I'm working on it with ERP (and not doing mental checking and other compulsions during ERP)!
I have Peripheral Staring OCD
Is this mental compulsion or intrusive thoughts?: "Did I look at them inappropriately?". "Are they judging me?". "Did my eye dart over there?". "Are they thinking Im a creep?".
@@lapirazo6461 5
just wanted to let you know, your videos are very calming for me
Thanks Hannah!! 😸
A lot of my OCD revolves around emetophobia. I started doing something as a sneaky way to "check". If we were at a playdate and someone was sick or I heard about someone sick, I would contact them later to ask how they or their kid was. Of course I did genuinely care, but my motive was definitely to get reassurance on whether or not I need to be concerned.
Yes, my friends and family have definitely started keeping information from me for fear of setting off my anxiety. It comes from a place of love, and I do appreciate that. But when I find out someone was sick and they specifically didn't tell me, it actually makes me more anxious!
Thanks for sharing your experiences. That's a good example of a sneaky compulsion. I hope you can find some relief from what you go through. If you haven't already, make sure you check out my emetophobia video. 😃
Thanks for sharing your experiences. That's a good example of a sneaky compulsion. I hope you can find some relief from what you go through. If you haven't already, make sure you check out my emetophobia video. 😃
@@ocdandanxiety I have been doing EMDR therapy for a couple years and it's helped me a lot. I didn't realize you had an emet video! Off to watch it now 🏃♀️
@@2006MrsV I hope the video helps you my friend! I'm glad EMDR helped you! 😃
having rOCD, I often ask my partner seemingly "normal" questions like "what music did you listen to growing up?" but they are actually me trying to get a specific answer from him to reassure me (like in this case for example, worrying that we aren't similar enough in music taste) its soooo shit and he can sense that there's pressure on the question quite a lot of the time which is not nice for him :(
Atleast you have a partner lol
It's also not nice for you, feeling bad for him. But you're in a relationship and that's what your partner is there for, you're in it together. You're doing your best and you care.
God almighty, being OCD and having the constant urge for reassurance and not getting it from someone trained on how to help someone with OCD is like the ultimate form of precieved-torture for the OCD individual.
yes! My therapist intentionally doesn't give me feedback on when I communicate my fears etc. I guess she is trying not to re-assure me. But I HATE it!
I’ve just started researching ocd, and I know you can never self diagnose, but this is the first time I’m finding people who act, think, or do the things I’ve hidden doing for years... I’m trying not to just google the hell out of this even though I’m here from doing that, I should find a professional for answers.
Also, Why are you reading my thoughts and why do I hate it??? This whole video. Oh god 👀 I’m getting called out so much as I’m writing this and I do not know what to think right now
I felt the same way!! It was like my whole life explained. Felt like an attack
@@vasundharad5353 righhhhtt?! Like I wanted to respond to every point in this, but had no words (for once). But it’s comforting in a way, cause we’re not the only ones with brains like that, which is helpful to know.
Late comment, but it’s okay to do research on a mental illness you may think you have. Especially since therapy and mental health education isn’t available to everyone. A lot of people can’t afford it or don’t even notice they have mental health issues until it’s too late. So there’s nothing wrong with doing research if you suspect you have something and even if you don’t have OCD and another mental illness. That’s fine atleast you know you have something else and is seeking help. There’s nothing wrong with trying to get help
So true I just suddenly searched about my habits like continuously thinking and imaging scenarios,making imaginary conversation and found about ocd and came to solve it in TH-cam...it is so relatable.... whenever I go to study l get super stressed and I walk around thinking how to study and make plans and preparations rather than actually studying.It happens without even realising 😢 also I come to phone all the time and also need reassurance from others.
This video got me thinking: Does OCD ever really go away? I was never diagnosed in middle school and high school because I never went to get professional help, but I am 100% sure I had it then. Now, it's died down (I thought my way through it and figured out what my thoughts really were), but I just assumed it went away. However watching this I think my old OCD manifests itself in different ways now - not as difficult to manage (like checking a hundred times to make sure no one would be crushed by my door,) but still obsessive and compulsive in more socially understandable ways. Is it like other mental illnesses where it never truly goes away but it simply becomes better managed?
Edit: I found out, 3 years later. It never goes away. I entered my first relationship a year ago, so guess which subset I’m dealing with. 🤪
I think general ocd doesn’t go away, but it can leave you without any horrible signs, what you might have experienced might have been just some themes of ocd. I guess like when someone has a depressive episode. But I am no professional so..
It doesn't go away on its own, but it's not chronic like some people think. You can recover with therapy
My first OCD thoughts manifested at age 18. Harm and religious OCD and it was terrible, I had panic attacks, nauseous. Suffered for months. I didn't go to therapy....but used coping mechanisms to deal with it and they actually went away. For 10 years I was happy and going about my life no problem. Intrusive Thoughts come around but they weren't strong enough to stick. Probably because I thought I had the worse OCD themes before and got over them. But recently this year in June I got a horrible Thought and it stuck and it's become a theme I learned now is POCD. And I hate it so much. Because it seems worse than before. This truly messed me up. I went tk therapy for the first two months but stopped because it was expensive. But I glad I went. I joined forums to deal with it. It's helping but sometimes it feels like I'm back to square 1. I remember the days where I was happy and carefree, but now I'm a mess. Prayer, meditation are helping little by little atleast. And I'll have to help my logical rational side of my brain push through. Honestly with god's help I want to come out of this. 🙏
It never goes away unfortunately. But there are times when it does get better. Think of it like having your TV on. Sometimes you just have it on for background noise. Now think of the worst as turning up that volume to full blast. That's how it is. Sometimes it's just quieter, and that can last weeks, months, even years. The obsessions and compulsions can also take different forms. Some forms are more benign, while others are all-consumimg and will ruin your life.
The only good answer here is: Maybe, maybe not
Brilliant, I have never heard anyone speak on sneaky OCD. I have been cycling through roughly 35 behaviors for 40 odd years. No one knows.
Jesus knows and I will lift you up in prayer if you have any questions concerning My Lord please ask. I too have suffered from intrusive thoughts and He is lifting me out of this pit as He did for King David. Shalom
Great videos man! So glad I found you . I never realized how much anxiety and ocd go hand and hand .
After watching your vids I've noticed myself doing it in my journalling trying to reassure myself by reasoning out my stories and writing the same scenarios out over and over trying to make sense of it.. and yes also telling other people.. and if someone doesn't respond fast enough I tell another and another and another until like ten people are reassuring me.. yeesh
I saw you for the 1st time tonite and you made me actually laugh and quit thinking and worrying about my shallow breathing!! Thank you, you are awesome!
You are so welcome!
I’ll do that thing you mentioned, telling stories about things I’ve felt, often I will do this thing to my friends that I frame as simply “posing a hypothetical” and end up asking something I need reassurance on to compare their responses to how I feel
I’ve been doing this I feel like. The issue is, I know that no matter how much reassurance I feel after seeing people’s reactions, or seeing how liberating it feels after I speak with someone well.... a few minutes/hours later, I still feel an intense amount of anxiety.
I struggled from this for over a month and I have to say that these videos helped me immensely. If this happened over night, it is important to understand that this is a fear, it is an irrational thought. Though the thoughts might scare you and make you believe you're someone you're not, think about who you were a day before this onset. Get your life back. This is HOCD, it exists, but you can fight it.
Omg, I found this video to try to help myself feel better about something I'm feeling very anxious about. I'm trying to resist asking for reassurance, but I am still trying to find solutions instead of panicking, I didn't realize that running possible solutions endlessly through my mind is a form of OCD and can also cause more anxiety. I never thought of my rumination as OCD, this was helpful!
Ugh, so great. I finished a ERP treatment a couple months ago and all was going well but now I'm slipping... and my brain is telling me "this isn't OCD, this is real." I used to do a lot of sneaky compulsions, I would do something I called "pseudo confess" where I would walk around all mopey until someone asked me what was wrong and justify the confession. And I used to share my stories all the time, my new therapist always ignored me because she was trained so well. Right now I'm in that "if I tell I'll go to the cops" phase which is so so hard to ignore. And I know watching videos and reading about OCD can even be a bit compulsive for me because I think I'm doing ERP wrong and have to figure out the right way.
Same thing happening here.😭 I've been doing great for two months but then I got triggered and now I'm spiralling and getting a different theme within a theme 😭
I often get hooked with thoughts about if I'm doing ERP wrong. I'm tempted to spend all of my free time watching videos and doing things to make sure I'm doing it right. And when I give in to compulsions, and it interferes with my life, I use that to justify my actions. Like look, you should spend all your time figuring this out because it's affecting your life so much
8:32 really helped me this part about certainty
Thank you for your videos. I’ve been confronting my dermatillomania, and it’s been extremely stressful. I’m just in the first few phases of really noticing the frequency of my behaviors. And it’s... a lot. Hard to take in. Can’t imagine what life would be like if I didn’t have this disorder.
My parents are always saying things like "that's okay honey, don't feel guilty about it". But, I've realized that they raised me to be dependant on it to manipulate me into become compliant, so I'm more sensitive to them telling me I'm selfish and thoughtless when I do something the disagree with. Since I've become aware of that, I haven't been asking them for any reassurance and now I'm going to try to ask them not to. They also like to say "honey, that makes us so happy you're making friends" and it just makes me feel responsible for their happiness.
Really interesting video!
I was diagnosed with OCD when I started having panic attacks in highschool. To me, it was just anxiety, but the compulsions were involuntary movements, like holding on to my pants so I could push and gasp for a bigger breath. I resumed Escitalopram today because I can't take these episodes anymore. Last night I had terrible episode and somehow I was still picking up hairs from the floor, I ended up vacuuming and mopping the bathroom floor, and this was "proof" to me that I am still okay, I am still functional. If I didn't have Clonazepam in moments like that where I can't seem to find the right soothing behavior, I feel like I would hyperventilate until I pass out.
Thankfully I have medication to help.
i have a horrific health history (gaslit by doctors which has lead to this cycle of ocd for health issues) and my constant googling and forum participation is 100% compulsion driven! its like if im sitting here not googlign what is causing my health problems, that elevates my anxiety because im not working on solving the problem, but then googling stresses me out, and i cant stop the googling until i read something that gives me hope, gives me that temporary relief, and then i stop. but a few hours later, the cycle starts again.
I Google EVERYTHING! The urges that come with the past reminders of a traumatic event
Thank you so much for all of your videos! Ive been struggling for the past few days and now I know its the way Im reacting to my thoughts and trying to fix them or to agrue with them. Im agreeing with the bully instead of fighting with it :) Im here in Utah and I actually tried calling your office to make an appointment with you! Ive been to therapy 2 times years ago and it didnt do much. Thank you again!
I literally just learned I have ocd and it makes so much sense this helps so much
Yes, I need to learn that it's ok to be uncertain and when an immediate actual threat in front of me or problem is actually there I can deal with it but if it'd just a thought that's not actually right in front of me to live uncertain and to stop wondering or worrying about "what if it is real, what if I'm ignoring s real threat" my brain will scare me with that or any other anxious threat and staying uncertain is very uncomfortable at first but it does work long term. Thank you Nathan you have helped me so much and I'm just beginning my ocd recovery. I've struggled with it since I was so young and only been in therapy for a short time. Like you've said I believe this therapist was good but not teianed for specific ERP for OCD so she didn't really know how to help me in that aspect. But now I'm finally trying to recovery and do something about it. Thank you for making this happen and helping me along my journey to feel a sense of hope
I found your channel at the right place at the right time. My OCD started plaguing my autistic hyperfixations and its so embarrassing.
It’s especially fun when you think you might have OCD and a couple other things but someone has told you for years you don’t and you can’t blame your actions on those things. So long story short I don’t think I have OCD. But I struggle in my head so hard thinking I do but also don’t. It’s a blast
Thank you for providing such an useful and comprehensive information, it's the best I've found thus far and it truly helps. God bless you
I have HOCD and do you know how hard it is to just accept the thoughts as they are without getting freaked out. Which makes the ocd worse.
Accepting thought probably would freak your OCD out and seperating yourself from it can help to see that you're actually just freaking it out instead of yourself.
For me it took practice - the more I confronted the fear of accepting a certain thought for what it is and the fear of not following through with my compulsions, the more I was able to get a handle on my life
For me I have OCD,and bipolar .I confront everything until its untangled and move on .if things come into my mind I say okay that wasn't great ,now what .with everything going around on a wheel you can break the cycle .but it's taken me years to control with medication at first now with exercise proper diet and lots of practice ..I laugh sometimes at some of the worst manifestations ,which dilutes the situation ..I used to feel ashamed and fearful ,not anymore it is what is .
Yes, it is tricky. But remember don’t believe everything you think! I used to have this, but I overcame it, you can too! My therapist said that I needed to practice mindfulness. So, maybe it’ll help you, meditate on a daily. It really helps bring your mind at peace and away from all those stressful thoughts. Remember, don’t give up! Dont let your mind win, it’s just a stupid, worthless thought.
@@ivettecontreras9962 what does overcoming feel like? Do you feel like your self again?
Yup... that's so me. Reassurance is mostly why I watch your videos.... But I still enjoy watching them.
Mine is making sure I remembers everything, who owns this, I'm I owing someone, this is not mine I need to give it to the owner, and if I don't get to remember the owner I will be in a lot of problems with my brain because it will keep thinking until it get what it's looking for.
Thanks for sharing your experiences! You may look at my false memory OCD to see if it sounds familiar with what you experience.
Great video thanks so much! I can really relate to this!
Thanks for the kind words. You're awesome!😃
Man you are a life saver god bless u ❤
I am very fortunate to have my mother. From this video I realized that she is usually able to tell when I ask her something sneakily. She knows me so well that she usually knows exactly what I’m worrying about 😂
Think I’m trapped in CONSTANT problem solving. I can miss sleeping I’ll solve but still not doing actions. Which is apparently pretty smart but I won’t get relaxed UNTIL it’s solved ....hmm now I’d love to ask if it’s OCD 😅
i’m the same way
When you said "repeatedly telling your story" I felt called out. Hahahahaha, I am so glad I watched this. Thank you!
Oh man... I never really thought about that. Sometimes I do this, avoiding the topics or something but being unspecific and kind of reassuring myself aloud "It's a loop, it's OCD" and seeing the other person nod or something. I'll really have to keep a watch out for that, try to keep it in my head and rob it of power!
Thanks for the video! I have pretty compulsive tendencies regarding health anxiety, googling symptoms, etc. Reading more about OCD, which i know is itself engaging that compulsion (feels like OCDception!) I can relate to a lot of the behaviors. But how do I distinguish between asking about OCD to get a diagnosis, and asking for reassurance? Is seeking out a diagnosis something I should even bother doing?
If we sit with the anxiety long enough, how do we know it will improve? For me, reassurance seeking is the only way I feel any sort of relief. Otherwise, I feel like I will spiral into depression the more I lean into the anxiety.
After 20 years. I sat still. And the dread hit. Holy. Ignoring it makes sense. Being hyper vigilant is my brains excuse to why im so selfishly clever, as soon as reality was presented i feel like hell
I got diagnosed with OCD when I was 15 and now I’m almost 21 and only now realizing how much OCD consumes my life in ways I never realized 🥲 so many things I thought were “normal” or my “personality” weren’t…. And it’s so miserable. Does it ever get better? I’m trying so hard to make it better… but it just hurts
OCD steals your life.The older you get you realise that,and also life is fleeting and not to be wasted.You never know what's around the corner. Concentrate on something outside of your self.It's hard but you can do it.21 is a fantastic age ,you have many wonderful life experiences ahead of you.I wish you knew what i know now in my 50s and i wish i could go back to being 21 again with all the knowledge of life.Go and have fun and stop worrying about all this small stuff.Do things you enjoy.Live a wonderful life.Peace🕊
@@clairejohnson6522 thank you so much 😞 this gives me hope!
I sometimes get caught up in wondering if certain concerns I have are part of my already diagnosed OCD. Like, 'oh I don't hear this talked about often in relation to OCD, so is this specific concern actually part of my OCD?' It definitely creates a vicious cycle.
I kind of wanna ask, what's an example of a sneaky compulsion for ROCD . . . but then, I'm like - wait, am I asking that because I want my OCD to be validated, thus asking for examples of sneaky compulsions becomes a sneaky compulsion???
hahaha. Good catch. It's quite possible. It's also possible you're curious because you want to make sure you're avoiding it in the future?😃
Thanks this really put the finger around some of the conclusions i do, or really some reassurancecthibgs i do because of social insecurity.
I know I have done that to you in a few comments, I'm sorry. :( Thank you for your videos
No problem. 99% of the time I know when somebody is asking a question for a compulsion. I try to leave my answers pretty ambiguous.🤪
Hi My name is Debbie and I Love your videos very truthful with Ocd what your saying I have been dealing with this problem I’m going to start now try my hardest to resist how I see it is all the millions of compulsions I have did it’s so obvious ocd still with me so that’s not the answer Thanks so much Nathan😊
Why are we not meant to use logic? As going through the logic has helped me dispel the anxiety.
If we talk to someone about how youre feeling, and thats reassurance seeking, how do we not do that? It feels good to talk about it and share my struggle. But I dont seek their answer, it just feels good to unburden myself.
OCD videos bring back memories.
You're videos are really underrated!
Oh my goodness, Bless you. I didn’t even know obsessing about questions I make myself until I have a definite answer was a part of OCD. I definitely need to get treated for that 😂😂 Thanks!!
Yes, I’ve caught myself doing that. Many times I will check something when I am quite sure that my loved ones aren’t paying attention. Otherwise they know what I’m doing and they’ll call me out for it, which is what they should do. Now that I’m learning some coping skills. I’m learning to try not to seek that sneaky reassurance because I know that reassurance is not helping anything. Just this morning I was getting ready to face a situation with what I knew was going to be a triggering event. My wife is my rock and she will do anything to help me, but I asked her politely to please not offer me the reassurance that we know I was likely to seek in that situation and I actually had a much better day because of it.
I definitely have sought out reassurance and done lots of internet searches in the past.
So true .. I always need reassurance
I like this channel! Thank you and God bless
I am here to seek reassurance
Lol. Same.
really wonderful understanding of OCD
Sometimes I feel like I get tricked by my head to do mental compulsions. I go into the day with the mindset of “I will try not to do any compulsions today” but when it comes time to put it to practice I sometimes fail and only recognize the compulsions later. Is it better that I try to recognize my compulsions in the moment? I like how you demonstrated that in the video. For example if I saw a picture of a couple looking happy on Instagram I could describe the compulsion to myself like “I really want to go over my relationship and compare it to theirs right now” and then prevent myself from doing this? Ive tried doing this today.
Yep! If we look at our motivation for why we do what we do you can typically see that the want for a compulsion will try to convince the person that it's something they need to do. I usually say to pick one compulsion and focus on that to see if it can be whittled down.
OCD and Anxiety It seems like I have many compulsions that I do. It can seem a bit overwhelming aha, so cutting down one by one is more effective?
I need to thank you SO MUCH for your videos. You're a life saver. Oh god, if only i could have therapy with you! you're the best!
this video has helped my son tremendously!
Hey, thanks for your help! Can you also do a video about compulsions before bedtime? These thoughts and compulsions give me anxiety and insomnia if i don t do them. Thanks!
I do this a lot. I have always tried to hide the fact I have OCD, so asking people things without them knowing I'm trying to get reassurance, is almost second nature. Watching your videos has made me realise I have to take more responsibility and stop doing that. Thank you.
Yea!! I'm glad it was able to help you! I hope you're doing great!
I am constantly reassuring myself that I am heterosexual. If I don't say this word or think about my past crushes or any interaction with girls at all, my mind tells me that I am homosexual and I am again in a cycle of anxiety. Besides that, I am also reading the stories of other sufferers to reassure myself that it is HOCD and not repressed sexuality. I need to stop this but sometimes I slip in such inner monologues without recognizing it.
4:58 "some individuals may count on this" 😂😭 perfectly hilarious as a "counter"
Very relevant video for me. Thank you
I'm glad it was helpful for your Logan! 😃
God bless you!
Sir please answer me..
I have ocd but the most specific thing that makes situation worst is when I see or listen someone doing expectorating, spiting i feel very uncomfortable after that until I spit or wash mouth And it's like positive feedback back for sustaining my ocd continue because I can't control other doing this I am taking medicine like Fluxatine etc but This situation is still same as before, my ocd is many years old how to overcome this particular situation of ocd?
I do it so bad that I can't get things done because it revolves around sequences of arranging things in parallel with the series of events in comparison with the right thought before it happens eventually recalling them by reacting them out to correct the order with the correct thought in order to continue with my tasks that I must get done or,,,, well I could go on but there's never wnought time to explain this you couldn't imagine how many fines I've had to pay and how so many things are pending right now that I still haven't taken care of because of my compulsions that holde back
That hold me back that is
Yes, i have definitely done sneaky compulsions. I often spew the contents of my thoughts to my family members in an attempt to get them to say "that's ridiculous" or "that's ocd!"
thank you! i'm currently with a problem, performing compulsions searching in forums a certainly about my career choice, and it is just ruining me now. I just can't see how to stop it, is day after day. But now i'm saying no more.
oh, and keep the good work! if only i could, i would take therapy with you.
My husband reassures me sometimes when I’m having a really bad day - I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it I imagine he just feels bad watching me suffer. But there are def times I cling on to his words knowing I shouldn’t be :/ I’ll feel the relief rush in and know that I should undo it but sometimes I don’t and I just allow it and it’s not until a few hours of rumination later I realize I mad the wrong choice!
There is no way this guys doesn’t have OCD 😂 the things you say are so accurate !
So good thank you!
Thankyou for your information ❤️
I’m noticing my compulsions now and holy crap I have so many sneaky ones. But I call them out which is good and a stepping stone so I’ll take it. I do this one where if a specific thing is stressing me out and I see a video about it online, instead of pretending like I don’t see it, I watch it! And guess what? 10/10 times the video doesn’t make me feel any worse. See, brain? No threat.
wow this is truly brilliant thank you
Hi Nathan I love your videos so much. I have ocd about having everything in my life perfect especially my body and my house, and I want to make my house perfectly decorated but it never feels "perfect" and so it feels like I'm chasing the sun because on the road to healing, I'm learning that nothing is ever going to be perfect in life, but it's extremely hard for my brain to accept right now because giving into "imperfect" makes me feel like I have no control in my life. And no sort of control or black and white, makes me feel terribly depressed because I want control from at least one aspect of my life but everything feels like a messy gray area and I hate it! Could you do a video on perfectionism or topics related to this feeling?
@OCD and Anxiety
How do you differentiate between giving normal, human reassurance - soothing children or partner etc vs withholding it because your video suggests that seeking/providing reassurance is just a bad thing? If it’s purely developmental - then where is the line? I’m a bit confused by this video - I could phrase this question in a myriad of ways and your logic would basically allow for zero answer on the basis of ‘its a sneaky reassurance seeking’ even if it’s not. There’s a flaw in your reasoning here or you’re just not explaining it adequately. For example how can you differentiate between a curious/challenging comment and a ‘sneaky ocd’ comment? What if I’m an academic seeking clarification for research purposes? Where is the line between ‘correcting ocd’ and stifling someone’s natural (dare I say it) genius or human need for some comfort/reassurance? What does health reassurance vs ocd reassurance seeking look like? Is it just the repetitive element or is all reassurance seeking unhealthy? Are you offering helpful advice or projecting a particular style of thinking and being onto others?
Is anyone else watching Nathan as a compulsion like I am? I just recently discovered that I may have OCD and I’m trying to figure it out which is another terrible thing to do but learning is the first step!
I’ve done a lot of this sneaky stuff without even realizing it I think. To be fair though, I get so entrenched in my day to day cycles and mental health struggles some days, that I often forget what’s normal and what’s not sometimes and my brain and body run on autopilot.
I also oftentimes have issues talking about ocd with my therapist because I feel very shameful and uncertain about it, but I am constantly sneakily seeking reassurance from outside sources and people around me. I feel like I can’t talk about this stuff with my therapist until I know for sure what I’m doing is ocd and valid issues, which ends up never happening of course.
We are like the lords of loaded questions. Reassurance is the seed of codependency. Ocd is the very most extreme example of it. Like rn im trying to decide on seeing my friend perform or taking an overpriced lyft that i cant afford to get some klonopins/xans that i cant afford.
Hospitals dont help cuz they CAN lock u up there. I dont know anyone in texas that specializes in exposure therapy (yet)
Great video
I guess... I probably have some OCD that stems from anxiety because I used to obsess over the fact that me, or my parents and family and friends are gonna die in their sleep... so now every time I say goodnight I say “goodnight, sleep well, I love you!” so that whatever happens, the last thing I said to them was positive and loving. And when I don’t, I can’t sleep until I do. So... I can’t see why that’s necessarily a bad thing...? (Even as I’m writing this I’m trying to find ways to make it seem like I’m not looking for feedback fRICCCKKKKKK)
This kinda confused me, i've been going to therapy for a couple of months and although i dont want to diagnose myself and i have done a lot of progress, i've been doing reseach about my thoughts and really really think i have ocd, and i know if got diagnosed with it it would mean exactly what you said it would, but i don't think it would impact me negatively or that i would keep seeking reassurance after that, i feel like it would actually help me "make peace" with my thoughts and stop me from ruminating. So should i ask my therapist if i have ocd? since i've been doing erp without even knowing what it was maybe she has not told me for a reason?
Honestly from a person who has been diagnosed with it, it made me feel so much less guilt and helped me to separate me and my feelings from my evil ocd brain knowing that it was why I felt that way? Idk if that helps at all but good luck x
This is such a paradox! So if I ask someone, "Do I have OCD?" they are not allowed to answer me because then they would be giving me assurance, but that means no one can ever answer me ever. That means normal questions can never be answered. I'm confused.
There is a difference in getting a diagnosis of OCD and someone using it as reassurance. If someone is asking with extreme anxiety and the urgency to know right now if it's OCD.....it's OCD. 😃
You aren't Lauren Phillips from Lincoln, by any chance?
Still confused...
At 4:24 triggered me to about how my kid doesn't ever talk me about specific concern he is having instead it's always about something he wants but never a normal conversation. Because when I initiate one he doesn't value it or participate with intellectual curiosity. I am probably not making any sense.
Hi Nathan! I believe I have OCD and am getting a referral to a therapist on Friday! But I have a question. Recently I broke up with my boyfriend, and a few weeks later began obsessing about my sexuality and developed hocd ( the two are unrelated). I feel sad about my ended relationship and often cry and get upset about, like most people do when they're upset, but my brain automatically goes "see! You're crying over a boy! You're not gay! This is good!" And i feel reassured for a bit, vut I never purposely make myself upset to get that reassurance, it just happens and the reassurance comes along with it? Does this count as a compulsion? And if so how do I stop it?
It foes the other way too, if I'm in a good mood, or just have a good day, I'll get thoughts like "youre happy now but you were upset and crying over the break up this morning/last night/ a few days ago? That means you didn't really care about him at all, you used him as a way to deny the fact you're gay/ lie to other people." And i feel the need to argue with myself, or even feel the urge to make myself sad and ruin my good mood just to soothe my anxiety. To 'prove' the thought is wrong.
I dont know how to stop this reassurance. I just naturally miss my ex and feel sad about the relationship ending, which is normal, but i don't want it to become a compulsion to give me reassurance? But I also think I need to process my break up to move on from it. Its so tricky and exhausting dealing with both of these things at the same time. Do you have any suggestions?
ohhh so i’m not just an oversharer that ironically has severe trust issues
Very helpful, thank you ! :-)
Hi! Thanks so much for answering my question I sent you a few days ago. I was wondering if I notice my daughter who is an adult with OCD doing a compulsion when she has no idea I saw or heard her, should I "call" her out and remind her how this could set her back or do I ignore it because I wasn't with her when I witnessed it? Thank you so much in advance.
Thats a good question. It seems like each experience is different. I would try to have a conversation and see if you can get approval to talk about their compulsions and the purpose for it. Typically, calling out someone's compulsion may make them angry or feel guilt. If they are willing to do treatment, then it can be helpful part of treatment to help them be aware.
OCD and Anxiety thanks so much
What do you suggest one do when you have ocd emetophobia and you put yourself through facing your fears and telling yourself ok go puke it’s nothing life moves on. Then you actually go puke. Then what? Live through it and keep doing it?
Thank you for your videos! quick question: what if I start feeling anxious about normal thoughts and start doing compulsions on them because I give the thoughts a certain bad meaning?